Comment on Ashes and Smoke

  1. AngelSelene on Chapter 1 Sun 14 Jun 2020 01:13PM UTC

    I love and appreciate your comment. Stupidly, I haven't seen any of the shows you listed, and I wasn't aware that "hyper-sexualization" was a stereotype. I went for cartels because I've read a few books on how they operate, and, honestly, they're pretty much some of the scariest (non-terrorist) organized crime groups there are--at least in the US. Jesus was going to be hyper-sexualized and super-controlling no matter what ethnic background I gave him.

    Thank you for pointing out the concern. I've been trying to keep an eye on it, and it's good to know I've been doing a good job with Jesus so far, but the reminder helps me keep it top of mind. I believe I have a good foil to be introduced in the next chapter (just gotta write it--one of those damn "missing scenes" I just skipped over).

    Thank you for your candor in your concerns, seriously. I'm really glad you liked my work enough to give me a chance. I hope I don't disappoint.

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    1. Ihasabukkit on Chapter 1 Sun 28 Jun 2020 10:58AM UTC

      Loved the new chapter :-D Thank you! I'm glad you added it in! And thank you for your thoughtful response! I didn't want to upset you or make you feel bad about what you've written, despite that one misgiving - this is such a fantastic and creative story.

      And if you haven't seen those shows/much American television, I can see why the stereotype might not be obvious at first.

      Because I can't help myself, I'd love to give you a bit for historical context on North America....if you read the newspapers, cartels 'aren't' a problem in the US, despite what Fox News and all the crime shows want you to believe...frankly the big issues here are the FBI (selling guns over the border 'to' the cartels and using the black market for profit), the white supremacists/ boogaloos, and ICE. Most of the "thug" violence is police, often using thug stereotypes (any brown-skinned man with tattoos and big muscles) as an excuse to steal from and terrorize black and latino families. I might recommend you research the Chicago and LA police departments in the 1980s and 1990s. Cartels and "gangs" (any group of non-white young people) are systemically used as cover for their own violence.

      Out of the US in Central and South America, most of the top-level Master of the Universe "villains" are caudillos of European descent, Confederados, Catholic priests, and Nazis (descendants of the Nazis fled from Germany from WWII) - these people then own local police departments and act like regional dictators, all with complete impunity because they murder any up and coming politicians or activists who pose the smallest problem. As a solid example, I might recommend you sit down some time and skim the history of the last hundred years of Venezuelan "presidents," and their manipulations of Bolivarian politics to retain power and bleed their countries dry. None of these people fit the sweaty tattooed 'cartel leader' stereotype you see on American TV, despite being the bloody reality. The reality is still colonialism, tragically (for context on that, I recommend you read up on the Guatemalan man who was burned alive by Christians a few weeks ago, just for being Mayan).

      Last Edited Sun 28 Jun 2020 11:08AM UTC

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      1. AngelSelene on Chapter 1 Sun 28 Jun 2020 12:58PM UTC

        Thank you so much for the constructive, respectful criticism.

        It's not that I don't watch a lot of American TV as much as the overwhelming majority of what I watch these days (and for a while now) is fluffy. Really, it's an embarrassing amount of HGTV and Food Network.

        I'm aware I moved Jesus way too far north to be operating a cartel. When Ashes was its own thing, it took place further south. I needed Duo in NY when I started writing Stand, so I kind of just picked up the Kings wholesale and moved them with him. I did consider changing them to a more geographically correct group like the mafia (and I'll admit, I was too lazy to come up with something whole-cloth), but Jesus wouldn't have been Jesus if I had. IRL, if there was someone who was as ruthless and bloody as Jesus (no matter his ethnicity) operating as far north as NY these days, the city would be going crazy (think of the way an individual serial killer can terrify a city). To your point, a large part of the reason that cartels have so much power where they operate are because of corrupt and otherwise weak governments (which, as you pointed out, is why they aren't *actually* an issue in the US outside of some border areas). My (probably weak) justification for the Kings operating as far north as they do is fallout from the Eve Wars and the havoc they wreaked with dissolving national borders, which probably threw the law enforcement in most places into total disarray.

        Most of my knowledge of how cartels work came from the book Narconomics (which is fascinating just from the standpoint of "why these things are a business"), but I don't think it mentioned that most of the top-level are of European descent (or if it did, I missed it). It makes (unfortunate) sense though. The Kings are influenced by the Sinaloa Cartel based off the outline of operations presented there. Just... moved way too far north, I'm afraid.

        I've read up on some of the stuff that caused Venezuela's economic collapse, and the sheer level of malicious self-interest is both astonishing and heartbreaking. I hadn't heard about the Guatemalan man, but it is infuriating that this shit is still happening anywhere for any reason. Insult to injury that it was perpetrated by people claiming to be Christian. It's no less terrible if "bad guys" do it, but at least they're honest about their motivations.

        I kind of got stuck with "do I white-wash the cartel to be a different organized group or do I make it geographically incorrect?" and went with the incorrect. Both have problems. I just hope I'm not doing harm with the decisions I've made. I'm hoping to balance it by making sure the cartel members you encounter are people first, cartel members second. They should be people who, due to a lot of complex reasons, are part of organized crime and might do bad things, but that doesn't inherently make them bad people. If I make any serious missteps, though, please feel free to let me know.

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