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Chapter Text

I like fall, It's pretty quite here, You can almost hear your own footsteps, but because the strong wind, making the leaves sound like a loud whispering audience, it kinda hard, There's something about fall makes me feel safe and warm, not sure if that's what I feel, Since I don't know what safe feels like, I watched as a fragile leave slowly falling down on the ground, Like it weren't ready to fall, feeling lonely even though its surrounded by other leaves, Staying still in that spot, and that's how I accidentally came to this life,

It's weird how I remember every single fight my mum had with dad, A normal kid would secretly stay up to play video games or watch TV, While I stay up because I can't sleep of how loud they're, but it end up being a routine for me, Sitting on the cold hard stairs, Listening to them fighting, Flinching every now and then, I was a helpless child who was afraid his parents will get divorce, By the end you would hear my sobs filling the dark night, and with a Iittle of the moonlight sneaking through my window, and my nights just ends like that.

I hate when I think about it, shaking the flashback out of my head, while walking my way from school to the hospital, it's kinda long but I don't mind it, I actually enjoy it, I looked down, focusing on my shoes, trying to get my mind off everything, I got in, I gave the recepionist a small smile, She got used to me by now, Coming here every day for the last 5 years, I don't think that easy to forgot, we often have a small talk, about school and If I was okay or I need anything, she's really nice, I made my way to mum's room as I overthink everything, Preparing my sad smile, not that I don't like coming here, I love to come here, just to see my mum's warm smile, and it feels like home in her arms, but with everything School, mum's illness, my work, the Voices in my head that will never shut up, it just too hard to keep up,

but I when I got in and saw my mum's beautiful warm smile, like always, I forgot my problems and all that shit, for a moment everything was okay, for a moment the voices stopped, for a moment I felt less sad, but that's okay because she's there smiling at me like I was the light in her darkness, I approached her, hugging her tightly, filling my nose with her smell, she barely can rub my back, and that's where I felt a lump in my throat, She made a room for me to sit, I keep on smiling, looking at her, I was gonna ask her how is she doing, but then something got my attention,

"What are those for?" I Furrowed my eyebrows, Staring at the new pills, That where on the nightstand,

"Oh it's nothing, don't worry about it" I looked at her with worried eye, making sure she was telling the truth, Her eyes were pleading me to let go of the subject, She suddenly coughs roughly, closing her eyes

I got up to get the water but she stops, I sat back rubbing my thumb inside her palm nervously, "You okay?" I said quickly, afraid my voice would betray me,

"I'm fine" she said with a smile, opening my mouth to ask her, she quickly said "Enough talking about me, How are you doing sweetheart? Are you eating well?" She lightly traced her fingertips across my cheeks, like she's afraid I might break, I wanted to know what those pills are for, but I don't want to upset her, I need to ask the doctor later, I shook my head with a smile resting on my lips,

"Mum" I said with a chuckle,

"What?, I'm serious, You get thinner and thinner every time I see you" She said frowning,

"I swear I'm eating good, Don't worry" I said, holding her hands, and looking her in the eyes, hoping she doesn't see the white lie, She pause for a moment before speaking again,

"Okay, Okay I believe you" She said giving in, Raising her hands up, I smiled, A big one,

"Now tell me how's school?" She said, Looking around for the remote of the TV, trying my best not remember what happened at School, I thought by now I'll get used to it, but I still get sick every time someone mention school, "Good",

We kept talking about everything and anything, and me joking around of course, until mum told me to do my homework, after that we had dinner, and the visit came to an end,

Her eyes were closed, I Lend to plant a kiss on her forehead, she smiled her warm sweet smile, opening her eyes slowly, "Goodnight" I whispered,

"You too" She whispered back tiredly, I Walked towards the door, I looked back at her one more time, she looks so peaceful, drowning in the white sheets, resting her head on the pillow with a little smile on her lips, and that's exactly what keeps me going in this life, I got out, carefully closing the door behind me, I almost forget to talk to the doctor, I'm so tired, probably because I didn't get enough sleep,

I found a nurse on my way to the reception, that's always working with Dr. Hill,

"Hi, can I see Dr. Hill?" She looked for a moment trying to recognize me,

"Sure, Just go to the waiting room, I'll call him for you" I nodded, Heading to the waiting room, I stayed there for 15 minutes before I saw the doctor approaching me, I stand up quickly,

"Hello Newt, how are you doing?" He said with a kind smile,

"Fine" I said, returning the smile, "So I was wondering about the new pills" I said carefully watching him, his smile dropped,

"Oh those are just vitamins" He said smiling again, he patted my shoulder "Don't worry kid, just go home, have some rest" I Stood still for a minute, Staring at him, Hesitation to move, because he definitely not telling the truth, I finally nodded, I made my way through the quiet hall with the loud voices in my head, and I thought to myself what if home is a person.

                                      *

it's been like this for the past 3 months, spending time with mum, chatting, laughing, crying, until today I felt something odd about her,

She was smiling a lot, playing with my hair more than usual, leaving little touches in my cheeks, she's was giving me a lot of loving, staring at everything I do, like trying to remember every single detail about me, don't get me wrong, I love being like this, but there's something different, She's hiding something, I started to worry,

"Mum is everything okay?" I said, Knitting my eyebrows together, with eyes full of worry, looking at her, She sighed,

"Love, you're too young to worry about everything" She looked down for a second, then looked back up, with a small smile, reaching out her hands, holding my hands tightly,

"Promise me one thing" She lowered her head, to meet my eyes,

"Just don't worry and overthink too much, Okay?" I nodded my head, seeing her eyes sparkling making the lump in my throat tighten, looking down on our hands tangled up, feeling like I'm putting her on a lot pressure because of me, and all I wanted to do is to make her worry less about me, but I'm doing the opposite thing,

"I'm sorry" I whispered, trying to hold back tears, my vision slowly getting blurry, "I put you through a lot, I didn't mean to, I was trying not to let you worry abo-" My voice cracks, I sob, There's so many reason why I'm crying right now, I think that I had enough, holding my shit together, was too much for me,

She wrapped her arms around me, bringing me closer to her chest, putting her hand on my head softly streaking it, and with that I let the tears cover my cheeks, I keep whispering sorry while she keeps stroking my hair, we stayed like this what felt like an hour, she pulled back, wiping my tears with her thumbs, I opened my eyes I saw that she have been crying too,

"Now enough crying" She said, I stared at her, she cupped my face gently in her hands,

"I worry about everything, that's what mum's do, don't you ever feel bad about it" I nodded and hugged her again, feeling her warm arms around me, I pulled back,

"Come on, let's play Uno" She said all of sudden, I chuckled,

when the nurse came to remind us that's the visit about to end, I got up and hugged mum, she hugged me longer than usual holding me tightly, I pulled back and smiled at her, and she gave me that bright smile of hers, there was something different about her today but I don't know what, I kissed her forehead, "Goodnight" and with that I walked towards the door, glancing at her before leaving,

*

I heard something go off, I think it's the alarm, twisted my body and felt around with my hand searching for the clock, I clicked the button, but it didn't stop, I knitted my brows in a frown, confused, I realized it was my phone ringing, I half opened my eyes tiredly, reaching out my hand, I hit the green button before putting it on my ear,

"Hello, is this Newt Foster?" The sound of the woman rang through my ears,

"Yes" I answered, Confused how she knows my name,

"I'm calling from the hospital, We need you to come as soon as you can" the woman says, and there's a worrying sympathetic tone to her voice, realization hitting me, my eyes got wide open that I start to panic, I hung up and I got off the bed and walked to where the jacket was, I put it on, I slipped my sneakers, took the keys and head out,

*

"Where can I find Grace Foster?" I asked in hurry tapping my fingertips against the cold hard stone, She looked through the computer for few minutes before looking at me again,

"Third floor, Go straight then take right, but she's on-" I didn't listen to most of what she said, I just needed to know where my mum is, I walked to the elevator, forgetting she was even talking, I hit the button several times, my nervousness is getting the best of me, I entered the elevator, hitting number 3, tapping my foot against the ground, my hands start to shake, waiting in there felt like hours, my thoughts are eating me alive, I got out and went where the woman told me to go, I saw a nurse get out of the door,

"Is Grace Foster in there?" I asked, He answered with a simple yes, I was about to walk pass him to get into the room,

"Hey you can't go in there" he blocked my way,

"What do you mean I can't go in there?" I said, clenching my teeth "It's my mum" I yelled pushing him but he was way more stronger than me,

I keep yelling at him, trying to push him away, more nurses came around, I was mad, I was mad at myself more than at them, I can't take this, more hands wrapped around me now, pulling me back,

"You can't take her away from me" I yelled at the top of my lungs, tears filling my eyes,

"She's the only one left for me" I yelled again, tears streaming down my cheeks, sobbing, nurses surrounding me, trying to calm me down for a bit, it became hard to breath, the voices in my head won't fucking shut up, slowly I felt myself calming, feeling dizzy, my vision getting darker, I felt the buzz around me stop, I got a familiar feeling, I felt numb,

*

I turned looking through the window, after Mrs. Parker got me out of the hospital, My mum's best friend, they were more like sisters, the only one mum can trust, she instead putting her number in the hospital in case of emergency, so I wasn't surprised seeing her, the first thing she did when she saw me was hug me, she didn't even try to ask me if I was okay, which I'm thankful for, she held me tightly just what my mum always does but she doesn't have the warm feeling my mum had, but it was nice to have someone there to just hug you and hold you like this, she told me everything will be okay, I know isn't going to be okay, I know I'm going through hell right now, I know that mum was the one putting the broken pieces together, I know she was the only one kept me alive, I know the voices in my head are right, I'm breaking and I won't take it, I just stayed still, stared into nothing, looking forward, Not hugging her back, She took a flight this morning just to get here, that what she told me, she looked tired, I can tell she have been crying, we sit in silence, besides the driver hand tapping on the wheel along with the song that I could barely hear because of the loud voices in my head, I felt her glancing at me every now and then, but I just don't care anymore,

*

Black suit, Black tie, Standing there as I watched the few people who came to the funeral crying, the sun shone brilliantly and the virescent colour of the fall day under it's glare was offensively bright and cheerful. It was as if they conspired to show me how the world would go on without her. It shouldn't. Everything should be as grey and foggy as my emotions, it should be cold and damp with silent air. but the birds still sang and the flowers still bloomed,

Surrounded by people I never met, my mum didn't have a lot of friends or siblings, she doesn't talk about her siblings though, so I don't really know them since I never actually met them, I was thinking while Mrs. Parker stood beside me trying her best not to cry, rubbing my back, I'm supposed to cry, feel guilty, maybe even angry, but I don't feel anything at all, except the feelings I always felt, empty and numb,

*

I wake up the next morning feeling sick, feeling my stomach turning over, warm putrid feeling rising up my throat, I got up and ran to the bathroom, throwing up all the food I had last night with Mrs. Parker, the vomit came up looking like clam chowder and smelling like acidic Cheetos, Leaving a taste of vomit on my tongue, I sit there for few minutes, getting up was kinda hard for me,

after washing my face with a cold water, I walked down the stairs, seeing Mrs. Parker in the kitchen, She turned around facing me,

"Should I make you some breakfast?" She asked softly like her voice might give me headache, reminding me of the bitter taste on my tongue, I shook my head, I don't feel like speaking ever since I got out of the hospital,

"Do you want coffee then?" She asked carefully watching my face, she was worried that I didn't cry or yell, I nodded, she smiled before turning, her back facing me,

"Go sit in the sofa while I do the coffee, yeah?" She said, turning her head a little to see if I made any move,

I got out of the kitchen and walked into the living room, I sit on the coach while staring at the TV, not knowing what was on, I zoned out, I was into deep thinking that's I didn't realize Mrs. Parker sitting beside me handing me the cup of coffee,

"Here you go" She said sitting next to me, Stretching her hand out, Handing me the coffee,

"Newt, Honey" She said softly cutting my thoughts off, I looked at her, then looking down on the cup of coffee, realizing what she's doing, I took it quickly,

"Sorry" I said quietly but came more like a whisper, she gave me sympathetic smile then nodded,

We sit in silence, only the sound of sipping you can hear, and the sound of TV playing some random show, I finished the coffee, putting the cup on the coffee table in front of me, Leaning back and exhaling deep, Then suddenly Mrs. Parker turned towards me, holding my hand, I don't know what's she's doing but I feel her gaze on me, I turned looking at her, not knowing what's she wants, but it's looks like there's a long speech, her eyes were showing pity and nervousness, what is she nervous about?,

"I need to tell you something" She said, looking directly at me, I nodded for her to keep going, she sigh,

"I know this is gonna be hard" She sigh again, "The thing is, You gonna come with me" She looked at me, waiting for my reaction,

"What do you mean?" I looked at her confused,

"You gonna live with me in my house from now on" I stared at her, like all of sudden I don't understand what she's saying, I start shaking my head,

"No, no" I quickly stand up, feeling my anxiety kicking in "I can't" I said, "Ne-" She said standing up, trying to keep me calm,

"No this is my home" I said, breathing heavily, "You don't understand"

"I know I know" She said while trying to rub my arms, I back away,

"No you don't" I said yelling, "This is the only thing left for me" trying to hold back tears because I promised myself that I won't cry again "Now you're trying to take the only thing I have, my memories" I whispered the last part, She hugged me, this time I didn't back away, I stood still, I can feel she was crying, her tears falling on my shoulder, she pulled back, sitting on the coach again, wiping her tears,

"Can you at least hear me out first?" She said tapping on the coach, telling me to sit, I made my way to the coach and sat down, not looking at her, She sigh,

"Your mum wants you to move in with me, I understand that's it hard and all that, and I know that I won't understand how you feel, but that was the only favor she ever asked me while she did a thousand of favors to me" She stared down on her hands,

"Are you going to sell the house?" I said, scared of her answer,

"No of course" She said quickly, I can feel her eyes on me,

"Look whenever you want to come here, I will buy you the tickets, even if you want to go for the weekend" She rubbed my arm, I nodded,

"When did she tell you she wants me to move in with you?" I said softly,

"six months ago" I nodded again,

"I will let you think about it, take your time, okay" She said standing up, I finally looked at her,

"When are you going to leave?" I said,

"After four days" She said, she realized something then looked at me worried,

"Do you want me to extend it?" She said quickly,

"No, four days are enough" I said while standing up, "I'm going to my room" I said making my way to the stairs,

"Well I'm going to the grocery, do you want anything?"

"No" I said a bit loud so she can hear me then I closed the door to my room, my thoughts are wandering around, making me feel like crying again,

*

"Come on newt, we gonna be late" Mrs. Parker yelled downstairs while I looked around my room one last time before closing the door, pulling my baggage behind me, trying to remember everything in this house, I decided to say yes about moving in with Mrs. Parker but I felt selfish, and guilty, making my mum worry about me all the time even when she was sick, making me want to say no even more but I felt bad for Mrs. Parker, She really cares about me and mum a lot, she treats me like her son but I felt like I was a burden that she will carry for the rest of her life, I sigh, I shook my head while putting the last bag in the trunk, and I got in the cab,

*

I never been on a plane before, my anxiety was on, I was really scared, clenching on my seat every time the plane bounce, feeling sick looking at the window, I shiver when there's an announcement, I panicked a lot, I stayed awake scared something might happen, every now and then Mrs. Parker tries to comfort and calm me, it worked for few minutes, Now I can say that my first time on a plane was the worst, It got even worse because of how long the flight was,

We got out of the plane pretty quickly, I was alarmed about everything, how crowded the airport was, we got out waiting for a cab, my first time wasn't only worst but also embarrassing,

There is nothing more embarrassing than going through security and getting beeped. then the awkward rub down from the security man. I don't know if it is just me but at time like this I get so nervous that I almost make it look like I have something to hide. Just madness, I chuckle to myself,

I saw Mrs. Parker waving for me to come, I dragged our bags, It was too hard to do that alone but I didn't complain, we got in the cab, she gave him the address and he drive off, following the GBS, I laid back looking outside the window, slowly my eyes closing itself, I end up sleeping through the whole way, I woke up by Mrs. Parker shaking me softly, I heard her saying something but I don't know what was it, I rubbed my eye with the back of my hand, tiredness taking over me, trying to shake off the sleep,

I opened the door, I was about to walk towards the trunk but the view stopped me, it was enough to wake me up, I opened my eyes wide open, not believing what I'm seeing right now, They live in a fucking mansion, I didn't know they were 'that' rich, I wasn't poor actually but not rich either, the mansion build in a very modern style, the windows were all glass, the gate surrounded with a beautiful indie design but it was matching the mansion perfectly, Lovely White flowers were in every corner and in the driveway, The grey color was a good choice for the mansion, Even though it was a small mansion, it was huge to me, I stared at the house what felt like hours, I heard Mrs. Parker chuckling,

"Come on" pushing me by my back, "I can't wait to show you your room" She said with a voice full of excitement,

"Okay just let me get the bags first" I said quickly,

"Don't worry about it" She said, I walked with her, looking at every beautiful detail, we got in, she started showing me around the house, like the living room, the games room, the pool, It was like the dream house everyone wish for,

"No one's home right now but Thomas should be here soon" She said breaking the silence as we entered the kitchen,

"The most thing you gonna love about this kitchen is" She walked toward a pantry, "This" She said as she opening it, I stared at it with heart eyes, it was full of different kind of chips, chocolate and candy, I'm such a sucker for chips though,

"Go ahead take whatever you want" She said with a smile,

"No thanks I'm good right now" She looked at me for few seconds then sigh

"Okay but if you want, you know where to find it, Just make yourself at home" She said while walking toward the stairs, I followed her, when I got to the top of the stairs, I looked at the long hallway,

"The room with two door is my room" She said pointing at the room on the left, "And on the other side is my office" I nodded we walked a little further, "Then you have the library on the right"

"a library?" I asked confused, wondering if I heard that right,

"Yes a library" She said giggling,

"Wow" That's all I could say, I was amazed,

"That's Thomas' room and the opposite of it, is your room" She said walking towards my room, "Go ahead open the door" she said excitedly,

I opened it, what I saw left me paralyzed, black king bed with white walls, the room was big and simple,

"I didn't decorated because I want you to do it yourself" She said,

I looked around, something got my attention at the far long really long desk, I walked closer, My eyes got wide, touching it carefully, "How did yo-" I said but she cut me off,

"I remember your mum telling me that you like to draw" I stared looking at the full set of pencils and marker, So many amazing colors, the set for sketching, I couldn't believe this, It will coast me a whole year to get this, I was seeing all the way to the end of the desk, I gasped, There was a tablet, A fucking drawing tablet, It was big, That type of tablet is very expensive, like very very very expensive, I wasn't that good to use that type,

"did you like it?" She asked, I turned around quickly to face her,

"I'm sorry, I just, I can't take all these" I said,

"Oh please come o-" She said but I cut her off,

"No seriously I can't" She put her hand on my shoulder

"Look" She said with a sigh "I know you've been through a lot in your life and I'm not doing this out of pity" I stared at her, "I want you to feel welcome here" She sigh again staring at the ground, I guess she remembered something "And just be happy, Yeah?" She looked at me with teary eyes, there was so much I wanted to say but I just nod, suddenly she hugged me, it made me relax a bit,

"I don't want to be a burden" I whispered,

"You're not" She pulled out to look at me, "This is something I would do to my son" a smile making it way to her lips "Don't you ever think I would treat you two differently" I smiled, That's a good thing I guess,

"I don't want to hear you say that again, Okay?" I nodded, "Now you should get some rest" She walked toward the door, "Oh I almost forgot" She turn around, "You and Thomas are sharing the bathroom" I nodded, "If you don't want to, You can use the guest bathroom" She was about to close the door,

"Mrs. Parker" I said quickly, She turned her face to look at me, waiting for me to continue,

"Thank you about this, everything" I said with a little bit of nervous crawling in my stomach, I looked down then back at her, She smiled,

"No need and if you want you can call me jess" She said and closed the door,

I turned around looking at the room, blowing away by it, but then I hear a knock on the door,

"Come in" I said turning to face the door,

"Just wanted to tell you dinner will be ready at 9" Mrs. Parked said with a smile,

"Okay" I said, She closed the door once again while I continue admiring the room,

I was messing with my phone until it was finally 9, I was starting to get hungry, I got up and walked out of my room and towards the stairs, I heard a few laughters coming out of the kitchen, I made my way there, as I was I walking I heard someone say

"Thomas stop it, dinner is almost ready" and she didn't sound like Mrs. Parker, I got to the doorway,

"But I'm starv-" He stopped what he was saying when he noticed me, Mrs. Parker turned,

"Oh Newt perfect timing" She said while preparing the plates, and that got the other woman's attention, it made me nervous with all those eyes on me, feeling my face heat up,

"Newt, This is Carla, our amazing chef, And that's Thomas, My disrespectful son" She said the last part with a smile, "Hey" Thomas said to her with a pouty face, She giggled,
I waved at them with a shy smile,

"Jess, You didn't tell me that he will be this cute" Carla said while walking towards me,
I blushed, like my face could get any redder, She was a middle aged woman with a dark skin and beautiful grey eyes,

"Welcome to the family kid" She pulled me into a hug, It took me by surprise and warmed my heart, everyone was so nice here, this isn't a bad idea after all,

We sat on the dinner table, Carla filled my plate, She was more like a part of this family than just a worker here, she sit next to me, and I started digging, they were talking and laughing, Thomas saying stupid jokes, Carla arguing with him, I never tried this, being with different people, The noise, even if I prefer the silence, It's nice to have this once in awhile, I stayed quiet, It's so obvious that I don't belong here,

"I guess you're not much of a talker? or you being shy?" Carla said looking at me, I open my mouth to answer,

"He doesn't talk that much" Mrs. Parker responded instead, which I'm thankful for,

"Oh okay", She continued talking,

I was helping Carla carrying the dishes, I guess it's something I'm used to do with mum, while Mrs. Parker went to the kitchen and Thomas following her, I entered the kitchen,

"Thomas not now" She said with a stern look, I cough, they both turns to face me,

"Where should I put these?" I said looking at the plates on my hands, not wanting them to see me blushing,

"Here please" She said pointing at the space between her and Thomas,

I walked my way while I felt Thomas gaze burning my skin, I don't even know why is he glaring at me, oh nothing just a complete stranger living with them and sharing the bathroom with him, my mind replayed,

"Jess no need, I can do the dishes" Carla said as she put the tray away,

"No It's okay" She said continue doing the dishes, I followed Carla then came back to the kitchen, carrying food, we kept going back and forth until we finished, I stood at doorway,

"Goodnight" I waved at them,

"Goodnight" Mrs. Parker said,

"Sleep tight" Carla said smiling at me, I smiled back, and the minute I'm out of their sight, I hear

"Who the fuck is he?" Thomas said, then someone whispered something,

"I don't care, Who the fuck is he?" Thomas said louder this time, by now I was walking up the stairs, I barely could hear anything, I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I can't help but to worry, maybe I shouldn't have said yes, this is such a bad idea I knew it, suddenly I hear someone yell "What?" That's probably Thomas, the bark of his voice surprised me that I missed a step,
I couldn't hear the rest but then I heard footsteps, I looked down, he was walking backwards,

"Yeah why don't we open our house for orphan kids isn't that a great idea" He said mocking while throwing his hands,

I walked faster, feeling my anxiety kicking in, I think he noticed me, cause his footsteps on the stairs now,

"You don't even let Jason sleep for one fucking night" He yelled,

"You know why becau-" She yelled back,

"Bullshit" he shouted at the top of the stairs, I walked a little bit faster, I'm trying my best not to make it obvious, It was kind of a long hallway,

"Hey you, Newton" He said, my breath caught in my throat, no one calls me that beside my dad, I turn around to face him, forgetting about my anxiety,

"It's Newt" I glared at him, He's walking slowly towards me,

"Whatever" he got closer, suddenly grabbing my shirt, pulling me closer to him, I looked at his hands surprised and then up to him, and I wish I didn't, I wish I didn't met his eyes, they flashed with indignance and anger, much like lightning on a pitch black night, The color of his eyes were like mocha, even though he was looking at me darkly, There was something so welcoming in the rich browns,

"Don't get too happy, it won't last long" He said with a deep raspy voice, then let go of me and went to his room, slamming the door roughly, It echoed through the long hallway,

I stared at where he was, that now became blank, and then looked at his door, I Shook my head while entering my room, I crawled to the bed, I didn't realize how tired I was until my back hit the bed, I stared at the ceiling, everything happened too quickly, It feels like just yesterday I was watching a movie with my mum and now I'm living with my mum's best friend in a fancy mansion, That her son's gonna make my life a living hell,

Chapter Text

I woke up, rubbing my eyes with both of my hands, I was confused when I saw the room but then the memory from last night flashed back, I twisted my body and felt around with my hand searching for my phone, I brought it to my face, It's 9:42, weird I never get up this early, stretching out while yawning, then I rolled off the bed and made my way out and into the bathroom,

"Morning" I said as I got to the living room, where Mrs. Parker sat watching TV, "Good morning, You slept well?" I nodded while rubbing my eye with the back of my hand,
"I already ate, You can make yourself a sandwich or ask Carla to make you breakfast" She said looking at her phone and then back at me,

"Okay" I said, I was about to walk when Mrs. Parker spoke again "I wanted to show you around today but I got work this noon, I'm sorry" She said frowning,

"It's okay maybe another time" I said while making my way to the kitchen,
I saw Carla coking something, "Good morning" She said with a bright smile,

"Morning" I said looking around for the coffee maker, "You want me to cook you something?" She said,

"No thanks, just gonna make myself a coffee" I said, taking a coffee mug from the shelf, "Oh you're the type who only drinks coffee in the morning" She said little surprised, "Yeah" I said, Pouring milk in my coffee, Then turned around, Leaning on the counter, We talked for awhile, more like she did all the talking, then Mrs. Parker cut off our conversation by her shouting, "Carla did you see my keys?"

"Yeah I think it's on the coffee table" Carla shouted back, Then she entered the kitchen, "I wanted to tell you something" She said with furrowed brows, trying to remember,

Thomas walked in, "Carla make me a sandwich please" He said mumbling while sitting next to her, "Oh right" Mrs. Parker said turning to face Thomas,

"You're going to take Newt with you to show him around" She said and made her way to the living room, I almost choke in my coffee, He followed her,

"But mum you know I'm going with my friends to the bonfire today" He said angrily,

"Then tell one of your friends to pick you up" She said causally, I saw them pass the kitchen's doorway, walking to the front door,

"Not this again" He groaned, the clacking of her heels stopped,

"Unless you take him with you" He rolled his eyes, then paused for a moment, "Fine" He said growling,

"Okay I gotta go have fun you two" She said before closing the door behind her,

"Someone's gonna have a little fun tonight" Carla whispered to me, with a giggle, Great, this is just great,

*

"Just don't do anything stupid" Thomas said while closing the car engine, I rolled my eyes and got out, He light up a cigarette, Sticking it between his teeth, he lead the way and I followed him,

Okay I didn't expect a bonfire will be this crowded, I felt my anxiety kicking in, Why did I even agree on this? God, I saw a guy with a weird haircut walking towards us,

"Hey Thomas you finally showed up" He said, "Yeah, I had to do something" Thomas said letting out another puff, The guy's eyes lay on mine, like he just noticed me,

"Who is this?" He said smirking, "No one" Thomas respond with raspy voice full of anger, "Hi no one" He said, I rolled my eyes again, he shifted closer to Thomas,

"I didn't know you hang out with this type" He said whispering, even though I heard him,

"Long story" Thomas said with a sigh, "Well I don't have plenty of time, Do I?" He said laughing, he had such an annoying laugh,

"Can you get me a drink?" Thomas said, "Sure" He respond before disappearing into the crowd,

Thomas turned around to face me, "Meet me by my car at 1" and with that he walked away, I didn't even get to respond, how rude,

I looked around, People grinding into each other, cups everywhere, some guys already passed out, even though it's just 10, I shook my head, Making my way through the sea of bodies, wandering around for a place to sit on, I saw the bonfire and walked toward it, I looked around for an empty place, I sat down, a little bit far from everyone, I sigh
I stayed like this for awhile, Staring at the flame then back to my phone, just like that, the idea of going to parties just to get drunk and have sex, doesn't sound too pleasant to me, why did I come in the first place?, Oh right, well I thought it will be a simple bonfire between friends, and that's also remind me to go explore the forest, maybe I will find something to draw, I need to stretch out my legs anyway, and maybe I would find a place to stargazing too, I got up and made my way to the forest,

"Hey dude" Someone shout, I looked over my shoulder, seeing if he's even talking to me, "The toilets are on the other side" He said looking directly at me, "Yeah I know thanks" I said simply, I walked again, the closer I get the darker it gets, I feel like the forest is the orchestra of my mind, playing one enchanting symphony after another. it was completely dark, the pale moonlight making it way through the huge path, I started walking slowly, not wanting to slip, hearing the branches break underneath my feet, I heard someone whining, I looked around, no sign of any person, I walked forward,

"Ah ah" I heard it again, I walked slowly, I noticed a foot on the ground, I was gonna ask if she's okay before walking closer but then, "I'm coming" I heard a deep husky voice, I froze, what the hell, It took me few seconds to realize what's going on, as the thought crossed my mind, my face became extremely red, "Gross" I whispered, with a disgusted face, I continue walking then I turned left, making my way through the trees, the path had grown smaller, and tighter, It's got a lot darker, the moonlight barely make it through, I hate the dark but this is different, I just walked, following the moonlight at the end of the path, the leaves dancing to an unheard beat, whispering their songs to the wind, It was really beautiful, all at once my foot ceases to travel backwards and the scenery starts to blur like a poorly shot action photograph. the colours swirl and blend as my face becomes tilted toward the forest rough hard ground, I wince in pain,

"Fuck" I whispered as I twist my body, I let out a deep breath, I looked up, the leaves covering the night sky, "Well this is a perfect spot for stargazing" I said chuckling, I get up but a sharp pain come through my spine making me fall on my butt, I bit my lips while holding my breath,

"Fucking fuck" I said breathless, I brought my foot closer to my lap, I touched my ankle and I wince again, I think I twisted my ankle, I sigh, Great, I lay down again, Staring up at nothing but leaves, maybe it's a good timing to clear up my mind,

Thomas' P.O.V.

"Where the fuck is he?" I said hissing, I looked at my phone once again, it's fucking 1:52, That's it, I'm going home with or without him, I got in the car, turning on the engine, realization hit me, I whine,

"My mum is going to kill me" I whispered to myself, I got out, making my way to the bonfire, "Dammit Newton" I said while lighting up a cigarette,

I saw Jason hitting on a chick, "Jason" I said as I got closer to him, He turned to face me, "Did you saw the guy I was with earlier?" I said quickly, he looked confused at first but he realized which one I meant,

"Oh you mean no one?" He said smirking, "Yep that's one" I said, letting another puff escape my mouth, "Nope", I nodded and walked away, looking around for the blond haired, lets just hope he's at the bonfire, I made my way there, no sign of him, "Goddammit, where the hell did he go?" I said a little bit too loud, I rubbed my face, I was about to leave when someone voice stops me,

"Hey Thomas" Some random guy shouted, I turned around to face him, it was Mike,
"Let me guess you're looking for the blondie" He said smirking, he's talking about Lily, I rolled my eyes at him,

"I have no time for your shit Mike" I said tuning away, "No wait dude, I'm serious" He said while running to catch up, he stopped in front of me, blocking my way,

"What do you want?" I said harshly,

"You're looking for the blond guy right? the one you came with?" He said quickly, I was about to respond but he cut me off,
"He seemed a little out of the place but anyway I saw him walking to the forest, about an hour or two ago" He said explaining,

"Was he wearing a black hoodie?" I said looking at the forest, "I guess" He said shrugging, I throw my cigarette then stepping on it,

"Thanks anyway" I walked away before I could hear his response, I got into the forest, How the hell he walked in here, It's so dark, the moonlight barely showing the path, God he must be drunk as fuck,

"Newt" I shout, hoping to get an answer, I looked around, nothing, suddenly something got my attention, stopping me in my track, I saw a hand laying on the ground, You better not be already passed out, I got closer and I looked at him,

"Gross" I said out loud, He was some random guy beside him a girl almost naked, both of them were a mess,

I continued walking, I keep shouting but no answer, Note to self, never take Newt with you next time, like there's gonna be a next, I chuckle while shaking my head, I stopped for moment realization hitting me, looking around, How far did I walk?, Shit "Newt" I shout again, what felt like the hundred time tonight, God this is useless, I shake my head again

"Is anyone out there?" I hear someone shout from the far distance, I looked around hopping I notice someone,

"Can you shout again?" I shout, "I'm here" He shout back, It look like it came from the opposite side, I walked back, where I came from,

"Newt?" I shout, crossing my fingers, hopping it will be newt, "I'm here" He shout again, It sound like it came from the woods, There was a small path, I started walking through it,

"Newt" I shout again, my throat became sore, "Thomas?" It came out like question, but his voice sound closer, then I saw him sitting on the cold hard ground,

"What the hell are you doing?" I said yelling, approaching him slowly, "I've been waiting for a whole fucking hour" I yelled again, I waited for a response but he didn't say anything, we stayed in silent for a minute,

"Are you waiting for an invitation? Get the fuck up" I said yelling while crossing my arms, He's scratching the back of his neck, not making an eye contact,

"Well you see I sort of fell and twisted my ankle" He said mumbling,

"Goddammit Newton" I said, rubbing my face, He glare up at me, I sigh

"You can't walk not even for a bit?" I said looking down at him, He shook his head,

"Now what?" I said harshly, "I don't know" He whispered not looking me in the eyes, I sigh, an idea crossed my mind, oh no, Hell to the fucking no, I shook my head furiously, That's the only way, my mind replayed, God no, I sigh again, fuck it, "You fucking owe me Newton" I said angrily, he looked up at me confused, I turned around, I kneel down, on both of my knees, letting him face my back,

"Hop on" I said mumbling, I can't believe I'm doing this, "huh?" He said oblivious, not aware of what I'm doing,

"I said hop on" I said louder this time,

"Are you sure? I'm heavy" He said quickly, "Just hop on before I change my mind" I said through clenched teeth, "Okay" He said quietly, He hesitated before wrapping his arms around my neck, intertwining his fingers together, I can feel his breath hitch in my ear when my both hands found it way to the back of his knees, bringing them closer to my sides, I got up slowly making sure I balance myself, I don't know what he means by heavy but he was the wight of a fucking feather, I started walking out of the woods and into the huge path, the walk was longer than I expected,

"Thomas the bonfire is in this way" He said quietly while his breath tickles my neck, almost feeling his lips,

"Like hell I'm gonna walk out there like this" I said while walking a bit faster, All he could say was a simple 'Oh', After that none of us said a word till we got to the car,

I lowered myself so he could sit on the passenger seat, "Thanks Thomas" He said, I walked to the other side completely ignoring him and got in the car, the ride was quite, just like how we came, Radio playing out loud, distracting my thoughts,

"I'm not carrying you again" I said turning off the engine, I could hear him sigh before closing the car's door, then I saw him struggling to stand up, his face scrunched up in pain, I just walked to the front door, unlocking it, to face with an angry Carla,

"Where the hell have you been?? your mum was worried about you" She said yelling/whispering, I walked pass her, "Whe-" I cut her off,

"Newt is in the car" I said walking upstairs,

"God is he drunk?" I heard her asking herself while walking out,

Newt's P.O.V.

"Are you drunk?" I heard a familiar voice, I looked up, it was Carla, I chuckled,

"No, I just twisted my ankle and the other one hurts me, so it's hard to stand up" I said explaining,

"Oh sweetie" She said while trying to help me stand up, her eyes were full of concern

"That asshole left you here" She said, Then she put my arm around her neck to lean on her,

"Better than leaving me in the forest" I said chuckling,

"In the forest?" She said confused while turning her head to look at me, I sigh

"Long story" I said, remembering what happened,

"Well I'm all ears" She said walking me inside the house, God this is going to be a long night,

Chapter Text

The sunlight sneaking through my huge window, I yawned while stretching out, I sit up, looking down on my sore ankle, holding my breath while laying my feet down slowly, seeing if there's any different from yesterday, I stand up, expecting a rush of pain, but I feel nothing, okay it hurts a bit and I'm kind of limping, but it's better than not be able to walk,

I walked downstairs while looking at the huge clock on the wall in front of me, Wow it's already 3pm, I got in the living room no one was there, I peek my head into the kitchen, I saw Carla putting something in the oven, She turned around,

"God you scared the shit out of me" She said, putting her hand over her chest

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to" I said quickly,

"Oh of course you didn't" She said mocking, "Anyway I see you walking now" She said smirking,

"Yeah thanks to you, It's much better than yesterday" walking to the bar to sit,

"Good to hear" She said looking at the time,

"Where's everyone though?" I asked her,

"Thomas and Jess went out for branch and then going for a grocery shopping" She said, taking out the tray, and placing it in front of me, "They should be back soon" She's digging out the pasta and filling the plate, she put it in front of me, "Tell me what do you think?" She said smirking, it was a pink pasta but it looks really delicious, I took a bite, I looked up at her with heart eyes,

"This is really good" I exclaimed, "Like really really good" I said again, She giggled,

"I know" Putting the pasta for herself while smiling, "I don't know what you like and what you don't, So I was hopping my mum recipe will work" She said explaining then looked up, noticing my empty plate, pushing it towards her asking for more, I gave her a small smile, she laughed,

"Well it looks like it did a great job" She said filling my plate with more pasta, I nod, totally agreeing, she sat next to me, eating quietly, we stayed like this for a while, when she finished, turning her head to look at me,

"Soo" She said suddenly, I looked at her with a questioning look, She sigh,

"You didn't finish your story last night" She said quickly, realization hitting me, my mouth made an 'O' shape while the memory of last nigh flashed back,

"It's nothing" I said, looking away,

"Oh it's definitely something" She said, getting excited,

"It's nothing, I just fell and twisted my ankle then Thomas gave me a piggyback, th-"

"Wait, wait, wait" She cut me off, I looked at her confused, "He gave you a piggyback??" She said surprised,

"Yeah, because my ank-"

"Wow" She said, standing up while taking away the plates, walking to the sink,

"What's wrong?" I said, furrowing my brows,

"You know Thomas is always rude and doesn't care about anything" She said, washing the dishes, "So It's weird to see him do nice things" She turned around, "If he wanted you to crawl all the way to the car, he would" She said while pointing the metal spoon towards me, I was about to say something when Mrs.Parker entered the kitchen, Thomas following behind,

"You're finally awake sleepyhead" She said placing the bags on the counter, Thomas doing the same thing,

"Newt your school uniform is in the closet, don't forget to wear it" She said, Oh right school tomorrow, I nodded,

"Carla you're going to pick up Oreo next Tuesday right?" Mrs. Parker said,

"God I almost forgot" She respond,

"Ehm if you don't mind me asking, who's Oreo?" I asked, looking at them confused, they both giggled,

"Right, I didn't tell you about Oreo" Mrs. Parker said,

"He's our puppy" Carla said, answering my question, I nodded,

"Guess who I met today?" Mrs. Parker asked while looking at Carla,

"Who?" She respond,

"You won't believe, Eva" She said excitedly,

"What seriously?" She said with a shock on her face, They started talking, I just sat there staring at them, I zoned out with the voices in my head,

"Newt" Mrs. Parker waving her hand in front of my face, I looked up at her,

"Sorry" I said quickly,

"I was saying if you want to come with us" She said,

"We're going to grab a coffee and have a walk" Carla added,

"No thanks" I stand up quickly forgetting about my ankle, Ouch, "Have fun" I said with a smile and with that I walked out and to my room,

*

I Looked into the full-length mirror in front of me, I was wearing the school's uniform, It was shirt with a black tie, wearing an ugly green sweater over it, It's not ugly actually I just hate how the green looks on my skin, Good thing the sweater is oversized on me, on the bottom I was wearing black pants with black shoes, Too formal ugh, I grabbed my bag and headed out, I walked down looking at the time. It was only 7am, Good I have some time to drink some coffee, I entered the kitchen, I saw Carla cooking,

"Morning" I said yawning while walking towards the coffee maker, She turned her face,

"Good morning, I made breakfast, You want some?" She asked, I shook my head,

"Are you excited?" She asked with a laugh,

"Not even a bit" I said, mixing the milk with the coffee, She laughed again,

"Come on, It will be fine" She said, I sigh, remembering my old school, trust me it's not going to be fine at all, I was leaning on the counter when Thomas walked in, Dressed up and all, He sat on the bar, Carla placed the plate in front of him and he started digging in, I heard a clacking of heels rushing around,

"Jess you do-" Carla was cut off by Mrs. Parker, "Sorry I need to go" she said quickly,
"Thomas you're driving newt to school" She shout before closing the door behind her, Thomas let out a growl, Carla giggled, There was an awkward silence, well I thought it was awkward,

"Come on" Thomas said when he finished eating, mentioning me to follow him, I grabbed my bag and walked out the kitchen, "bye Carla" I said, walking to the front door,

"Go get them tiger" She yelled, I chuckled, closing the door behind me,

I got in the car, the radio was playing, breaking the silence around us, I looked through the window, we drove for awhile, then we stopped suddenly, I turned to face him, confusion writing all over my face, I opened my mouth to say something,

"Get out" He said simply, my mouth hang open,

"What?" I said in disbelief, my eyes were wide open,

"What part of get out you don't understand?" He said louder this time, meeting my eyes,

"but y-" he cut me off, "I don't give a fuck, like hell I will ever drive some weirdo like you to school" He looked back at me annoyed, I gave him a cold look, I grabbed my bag and got out, he drove off, leaving me there standing in the sidewalk,

"Asshole" I mumbled,

*

As I got in the school, everyone turn their gaze on me, their eyes were judging if I was going to be one of the popular kids or an outcast, my anxiety getting the best of me,
I started to sweat, my face heat up, I looked at my feet while walking, avoiding everyone, "Just breath" I whispered to calm myself, You know they're judging you, thinking of how ugly and annoying you're, The voice in my head speak up, "Not now" I whispered, feeling sick to my stomach, Like you don't know they already hate you, he spoke again, I tried to focus steadying my breath but it's hard with all the whispering around me, I walked faster, looking for the office, with every step it gets harder and harder to breath, I got in the bathroom, holding my chest, trying to calm my heartbeat, God I hate this, I stayed like this for awhile then I looked at the time, It's 8:18, Great I'm late, I got out, there's no one in the hallway, beside me and the quiet,

Thomas' P.O.V.

"The bonfire was so good" Jake said, well it was shit to me,

"Yeah, I got to hook up with Lauren" Jason said smirking,

"The one with the big tits" Mike said in a shock, Jason nodded,

"You little shit" Mike said, he pushed him while chuckling,

I was getting ready for PE, I took off my shirt, throwing it in the locker, I heard the sound of slamming doors,

"Oh a new loser is joining us" Mike said smirking, earning a few chuckles from the boys, I turned around to see who he was talking about, It was Newt

"God he looks so annoying I want to punch him" Jake said staring at Newt, an idea crossed my mind,

"Guys" I said, they all turned their attention on me "it's been so long since we did it" I said while leaning on the lockers, they all looked at me confused,

"Let's give him hell" I said with a smirk, realization hitting them, they all nodded with a big smile,

"Hell fucking yeah" Jake said excitedly, I saw him calling some guys to join us, I chuckled, this is going to be fun,

We got separated, me, Jason and Jason's friend, Blake on the red team, Jake, Mike and few guys we know, and of course Newt are on the blue team, we got into our positions, we're playing Volleyball, I stayed still waiting for the coach's whistle, the sound buzzed through my ear, I quickly jumped and hit the ball, the game started and I can see that Newt is struggling to catch up, Because of his twisted ankle, I saw Mike getting closer to Newt, I smiled, he's up to something, Blake hit the ball towards him, then Mike pushes Newt, he fall on the ground, I'm trying so hard not laugh but as I hear everyone laugh, I let it out, I saw him getting up with knotted eyebrows, looking down at his ankle, The boys on his team, kept pushing him around when we continued the game, and on other side we kept throwing the ball at him,

I saw Jake looking at me with a smirk, I quickly knew what he was thinking, I nodded, The next thing I knew Jake hit the ball in my direction, I hit the ball as hard as I can towards Newt's face, he didn't even get time to hit it, it hit his face, falling on his back, hitting the ground really hard, few boys surrendering him, Us the boys just stayed back laughing, then I heard the bell ringing,

"Nice hit" Jake whispered to me while chuckling,

I saw as the coach helped Newt get up, he was holding his nose, blood running down and all over his hand,

"Damn man" Jason said nudging me, I laughed along with the boys and headed to the showers,

Newt's P.O.V

"I'm almost done" She said
while touching my nose carefully putting the bandaid around it, tapping my nose lightly, I hiss in pain,

"That's it you're good to go" She said pulling away, with a small smile,

"Thanks" I said quickly, getting up and walking out the door,

by now It was lunchtime, I walked out and into the boys locker room to get changed into my uniform, I know what happened earlier was on purpose, and I know Thomas told them to do it, I sigh, I'm hundred percent sure that's not going to be the last thing they will do, I got out and in the empty hallway again, I headed to the cafeteria, I don't feel like eating, I'm just gonna get something to drink from the vending machine, at my old school I never went to the cafeteria either I go to the library or the bathroom, I just hate it, it's so crowded and noisy in there, I hate the feeling of eyes on me, remembering the feeling, got my anxiety kicking in again, and the voices in my head is making it worse, they will think of how ugly you are, just like this morning, disgust writing all over their faces, and the others making fun of you, the voice in my head spoke, I shook my head trying to ignore it but it's not working at all, I entered the cafeteria, no one noticed me and that's exactly what I wanted, I got to the vending machine, I stood there facing it, thinking about what to get,

"Well, well what do we have here?" I jump a little at the sudden sound of his voice, I didn't hear anyone approaching me, I looked to the side, it was the guy from PE, Jacob?, Jake?, Jack?, I don't know, who cares anyway, I faced the machine again,

"Oh it's Newton" The other guy with him said, I clenched my teeth, I hate that name,

"Did the cat bite your tongue?" He said again, completely ignoring him, I tried quickly putting the change in the machine but he snatched it away, I looked at him with a cold eyes even though I was dying inside,

"What? Did you get mad?" He said smirking, he throw the change, it slowly swinging until it fell on the floor,

"Oops" He said, I glared at him, I kneeled down to get it,

"Good boy" He said petting my head, I felt tears filling up my eyes as I heard everyone in the cafeteria laugh, their laughters echoing in my head, this is way too far, I won't let him just stand there laughing while humiliating me, I got up, facing him while my whole body was shaking, holding back tears,

"Aw don-" I spit on his face before he can even get to finish his sentence, he closed his eyes for a moment, realizing what I just did, I don't know how I got the courage to do it, Shit this is bad, he looked at me, his eyes were wide open,

once the cafeteria that was filled with laughters, it became quieter than I will ever expect it to be, no one's daring to laugh,

Feeling my stomach boiling, I rush out of the cafeteria, looking around for the bathroom, I could hear muffled yell coming from the cafeteria, I just ran to the direction I came from earlier, hoping to see the bathroom and not be followed, I covered my mouth with my hand, afraid I won't keep my vomit from getting out and spreading all over the glossy floor, I saw the locker room I got in, running towards the bathroom, reaching the toilet bowl, I fell on my knees, letting out all the coffee I had this morning while tears running down my face, I stayed like this breathing heavily, then I felt my stomach twist and retched again until only clear liquid was coming out, feeling my throats getting sore from the stomach acid, my stomach started dry heaving, Fuck, it hurts, everything hurts, I just want it to stop, You deserve every pain you're feeling right now, hearing the voice in my head say, you're just worthless brat who can't handle a little joke, I felt hot tears covering my cheeks, you just had to ruin everyone's day, that what you do best, even your mummy rather d-,

"Shut up" I screamed at the top of my lungs, covering my ears,

I pulled my legs to my chest, hiding my face while rocking in my place, I covered my ears again, "Please stop" I begged, feeling my pants getting soaked with tears, I kept whispering and begging it to stop, I sat in the cold floor for what felt like an hour, I felt myself calming down for a bit, I got up and walked towards the sink, washing my face with cold water before looking up at the mirror, I had red puffy eyes, blue and black shade around the bandaid on my nose, swollen lips, I shook my head and washed my face again, then wiping it with a tissue, I looked at my watch it was 1:32, I don't feel like going to the last period, plus I'm already late, I headed out and to my locker, taking what I need and shoving it in my bag, I got out of school as fast as I could, and made my way home,

It was 2:17, I took longer than I expected, I sigh, I can't wait to take a hot shower and sleep, I thought as I approached the front door, pushing the button for the doorbell, Carla opened the door, her smile dropped when she saw me,

"What the hell happened to you?" She exclaimed, looking at me with a concern eyes , I looked at her coldly, then walked away, passing her,

"Newt I'm talking to you" She said while walking behind me, I feel a lump in my throat, I'm afraid that if I speak I will cry and I don't want that to happen, I walked up the stairs, ignoring her, I could hear her sighing at the bottom of the stairs,

I got in the shower, feeling the hot water running down my body, I just stayed the whole time in there thinking, I got out, facing the huge mirror, I shook my head, I got changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, I walked to my room and jumped on the bed, feeling my pillow getting soaked slowly because of my wet hair, I just lay there staring at ceiling, even though I was tired, I couldn't sleep, what happened today keeps replaying in my head, I laid awake like this for an hour, I rolled off the bed to dry my hair, when I finished I looked at the mirror, my hair was messy in a weird way but whatever, and my nose got a purple shade around it, I sigh, as I was walking to the bed, I hear my stomach growl, I whine and throw myself on the bed, I don't wanna get down to eat and get hundreds of questions from Carla and Mrs. Parker about what happened to my nose, I wrap myself up with the huge blanket and curl up, hugging a pillow while snuggling it, forcing myself to sleep, I let out a yawn and drift off,

*

I opened my eyes with darkness around me, "Shit" I whispered, I turned over, touching around for my phone, I looked at the time, it was 10pm, "it was supposed to be a nap" I said whimpering, I got up, turning the flash on to see my way to the switch, I turned on the light with a sigh, I walked to the closet to put on a sweater, It's was kinda cold, and with that I made my way downstairs, I walked to the living room, checking if anyone's awake, I entered the kitchen and saw Carla doing the dishes, I cough to get her attention. She turned her face,

"Oh you're awake" She said, stopped what she was doing and wiped her hands, I walked towards the fridge,

"I checked on you about an hour ago" She said while taking out the food from the oven, "You want to eat?" She asked, taking a plate from the shelf, even though she knows the answer,

"Yeah please" I said quietly while looking for the green juice, I took it and poured some on my glass, walking to the bar to sit,
She heated up the food before placing it in front of me, She went back doing the dishes and I started digging, only the pouring water from the sink is filling up the silence, when I finished, "I'm sorry" I said quietly but it came out like a whisper,

"What for?" She said confused,

"For ignoring you I guess" I said, looking down,

"Nah it's cool, I understand though" She said turning to give me a small smile,

"I'm really sorry I didn-" She cut me off,

"Newt honey it's okay" She said calmly, I nodded even though she can't see me, I got up and took my plate, putting it in the sink while she was still washing,

"Wanna talk about it?" She asked not looking at me, I sigh,

"I don't know" I mumbled,

"Just so you know I'm here if you wanna talk about anything, yeah?" She said looking at me, I nodded, "Wanna help me dry them while I wash?" She said pointing at some dishes beside the sink, I nodded,

"Yeah of course" I said giving her a small smile, She smiled back, I walked to the other side, she gave me a towel, I took a plate and started wiping it, then putting it on the shelf, thinking hard, should I tell her about what happened or should I just keep my mouth shut, there's something banging on my chest, I shook it off, no I better not tell her, I don't want to get her into my mess of a life, I have a feeling it's not gonna end up well if I tell her, It's not like the first time someone bully me, I think I better keep it to myself, keeping one little thing won't hurt yeah?,

Chapter Text

it's been like this the past week, getting bullied in school, Thomas fighting with me for no fucking reason, me throwing up in the bathroom, getting home to relax, nothing changed,

I got in the house, Carla greeted me, I walked to the kitchen taking off my bag before sitting next to Mrs. Parker in the bar,

"I'm starving" I said whining to Carla, They both giggled, I told Carla that I don't like the school food, so she started cooking lunch for me,

"Here you go you little baby" Carla said joking, placing the plate in front of me, I dig in,

"You didn't come with Thomas?" Mrs. Parker said, rising her eyebrows,

"No I did but he had something to do" I said quickly, well the truth I've been walking to school and the same way back, but I didn't tell anyone about it, so I hope she doesn't notice the lie,

"Oh okay, so how's school today?" She said changing the subject,

"Fine" I said while taking another bite of my sandwich,

"Good, well me, Carla and Thomas going out tomorrow" She said, looking at me, "We gonna pick up Oreo then we're going to have lunch and go shopping" Explaining what we gonna do, "And you're coming, no excuses" I smiled at her then nodded, they've been trying to get me out of the house the past week, it's not like I don't want to go out with them, I just like staying at home,

*

"God Thomas what's taking you so long?" Mrs. Parker yelled at the bottom of the stairs while me and Carla stood next to the front door waiting,

"Alright alright I'm coming" He yelled back then I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, Mrs. Parker walking towards the front door, Thomas following her,

We got in the car, Thomas driving and in the passenger seat Mrs. Parker, then next to me in the back Carla, her and Mrs. Parker were chatting all the way to the mall, and of course Thomas joking with them, How can't he?, now and then he makes jokes about me that I only get, I rolled my eyes, I hope the ride doesn't take any longer than this, I stared at the window, waiting for this annoying ride to end, we already had picked up Oreo, he's the cutest thing i've ever seen, he had white hair and a mole around his eye, I couldn't resist not patting him, at least the dog making me bear this ride, I sigh, I kept taking pictures of Oreo and playing with him while everyone was really into the conversation,

I entered the mall, they were already ahead of me, I looked around, this is really huge, the architecture was amazing and th-

"Jeez you're so slow" Carla cut my thoughts off, Pushing me to walk beside her, "If you walk any slower I'm gonna kick your ass" she turned her face to the side, to look at me,

"Alright, alright" I said rising my hands up with a laugh,

We got in the restaurant, I saw Mrs. Parker talking to a waiter, Thomas sat down on the waiting area, I did the same thing, I heard him sigh from beside me but I ignored him, then Carla sit next to me, we waited for like 15 minutes or so, before sitting in our table, Everyone knew what to order except for me, I felt lost, It was a fancy restaurant so I'm not used to this, I look over the menu, they're writing the name of the dish but not what it comes with,

"I think I'm gonna order this" I pointed at the very top of the menu, it was kind hard to pronounce it plus I don't want to make a fool of myself, I heard Thomas chuckle, I looked up at him, confusion writing all over my face,

"Do you even know what that is?" He said with his annoying smirk, that always find it way to his lips, my face heat up, maybe I should have let Carla help when she asked me,

"Thomas" Mrs. Parker said, giving Thomas stern look, he just shrugged off,

"So tell what do you want? Pasta? Steak?" Carla asked me while looking at the menu,

"I don't know, Pasta?" I said but it came out like a question, She told me what kind of pasta they have, then I decided what to order,

"Finally" Thomas said while rolling his eyes, I just kept ignoring him, why does he enjoy getting on my nerves,

after we finished our lunch, which it was really good, we went shopping, some stores dogs weren't allowed, so I had to stay out with Oreo, I don't mind actually, we walked to another store but this time I wasn't waiting alone, lucky me, Thomas decided to wait outside because he got bored, and of course he wasn't next to me,

"Hi Thomas" I heard a girly voice, I turned my face to where Thomas was standing, there were three girls facing him, but only one did the talking, he looked so uninterested,

"Hey" he simply said with a cold look,

"Are you coming to my birthday party this weekend?" She said excitedly,

"I don't know I will think about it" He said not looking at her,

"Umm okay but please try to come" She said quickly, I can feel the awkwardness from here, I chuckled while shaking my head,

"Okay I will see you later bye" she said again and then went off, not waiting for a reply, why would she even like someone like Thomas?, He's so rude and fucking annoying, why get so worked up for a douchebag, I shook my head again "Whatever" I mumbled,

It's been hours since we got in the mall, I bought few things, I started to get tired of walking, Carla and Mrs. Parker doesn't seems to get tired, Thomas was talking to Carla, and me just following behind with Oreo beside me, before they get in the store,

"I think I'm gonna go sit somewhere" I said, Carla looked back at me while Mrs. Parker already walked in, looking at the clothes,

"If you're tired, Thomas is going home" She said,

"That's doesn't mean I have to take him with me" He mumbled then rolled his eyes, Carla glared at him, then walked towards me, taking Oreo,

"No it's oka-" I said but she cut me off

"I know you're tired, Just go with Thomas and if he does anything stupid just tell me and I'll take his keys" She said the last part glancing at Thomas, he rolled his eyes again, "Come on go, I'll tell Jess you both went home" She said, walking away and into the store, I sigh, I hope he doesn't kick me out like the last time, I followed Thomas while he mumbled a few things I didn't catch, we got in the car, I sit in the passenger seat, waiting for him to start driving while looking at the window, the low music started playing from the radio, I sigh again, This is going to be a long ride,

we've been driving around for awhile, I tapped my fingers against my thigh with the music, I love this song, I kept looking through the window, I was surprised Thomas didn't make a joke for about a half an hour, I glance at him quickly and shrugged off, he stopped the car because the light of the traffic was red,

"Can you get your dirty ass out of my car" He said through clenched teeth,

"Excuse me?" I said furrowing my brows, turning to look at him,

"Get out" He said glaring,

"God not this again" I said shaking my head,
I turned to look at him, "What the hell is your problem?" I said glaring at him,

"You're my problem, now get the fuck out" he said not looking at me, I shook my head before getting out, I walked in front of his car, making eye contact while flipping him off,

God he's unbelievable, I walked to the sidewalk, looking around, Where the hell am I?, Fuck I forgot to take their numbers, not even the damn address, God, now what?, I started walking around, well it's not so bad here, I found a bookstore, I quickly bought a sketch book and a set of pencils and head to find a coffee shop, It's not like I'm gonna let that asshole ruin my day, I entered a small coffee shop, It was nice and had warm design, light wooden walls with every kind of vintage furniture, and in the very end there was a wall full of shelves drowning with books, It was pretty cool and totally my style, This going to be my favorite place, I got closer to the register and ordered an iced white mocha, then again looking around to sit. I walked and sat down, getting my new sketch book out and pencils, Thanks to Thomas I have to kill sometime till he come back, I chuckled to myself, if he come back, I started sketching the coffee shop, then I heard someone call out my name and got up to get my coffee, I really needed some place to sit alone and just think, and sketch for awhile, I smiled, maybe mum was right I don't have to worry all the time, there's so many distraction, I just was too busy listening to my head, and in the first time in years I don't hear the voices in my head,

*

I looked at the time, It's getting late, I started to worry, I've been sketching random things around the shop, Mum smiling, Carla patting the dog, It's nice to get back to this, to get motivation on drawing, but now anxiety hitting me hard as I got out the coffee shop holding my sketchbook tightly in my hand, I looked around, trying to remember where Thomas dropped me, I walked around too busy looking at the street, to look at people faces, suddenly someone bumped me by the shoulder, "Sorry" I mumbled, as I looked up my eyes got wide open with horrified look, feeling the coffee in my stomach burning inside my stomach, I walked away quickly, hoping he doesn't recognize me,

"Isn't that Newton?" I heard Mike say, Of course he will recognize me, I sigh, I really don't feel like dealing with their shit right now,

"Cutie why are you in such a hurry?" I can hear Jake say exactly from behind me, they were following me around, I was breathing heavily, all of sudden, I feel a grip on my both shoulders, pushing me, my back against the wall, one side was Mike holding me back and the other side was Blake I think, and of course Jake was facing me, God this guy loves to harass me so much,

"Playing hard to get huh?" He said, followed by chuckles, from my both sides, I rolled my eyes at him, he noticed something, looking down, I looked at the direction his eyes were on, he's looking at my sketchbook, God dammit,

"Oh what is this?" He snatched away from my grip, he flipped through the pages,

"These sucks you know" He said before looking back at me,

"What do you want?" I spit out,

"Not much, just wanna have a little fun" He said with a smirk, throwing the sketchbook away,

I saw it coming, but it caught me off guard. I felt a balled fist make contact with my muscle, watching it smash my entrails together like a rogue freight train. my stomach stopped his knuckles from clashing into my spine. My breath instantly left me for dead as I doubled over.

"What little Newton can't handle a little punch" He said as he laughed,

Trying to steady my breath, I straightened up myself slowly, feeling every muscle in my stomach twitching, I furrowed my brows, holding back tears, as soon as I look up at him, He greeted me with a punch on my jaw, my face hitting the wall behind me, I wince in pain, "Fuck you" That was all I could get out of my mouth, I hear them laugh, He punched me again but this time on my cheek,

Feeling my body started to quiver, can't bear the pain any longer, He punched me one more time in my stomach, my knees buckled from the force of the blow, and as I went down, Fire ran through every fiber of my abdomen, and I tasted bile, adrenaline and a hint of blood,

As my crumpled body hit the ground, I gasped for air, but oxygen eluded my grasp. my head was swimming around, I somehow managed to roll over and vomit. I let out, the yellow, sticky substance and my lunch, I was helpless, injured and out of energy, I swear I saw the life pour out of me on the sidewalk, I couldn’t breathe let alone protect my body from any more damage this guy was willing to deal out,

Thomas' P.O.V.

I unlocked the front door, I looked back up, saw Carla stopped in her way to the living room, carrying a tray with a juice on it, looking at me with a confused look on her face,

"What?" I said a bit loud, while closing the door with my foot,

"Where's newt?" She asked, titling her head,

"Shit shit" I whispered, smacking my head,

"Oh no don't tell m-" She said, but she was cut off by mum "Oh boys how was your night?"

I looked at her with pleading eyes, not to tell mum that I'm here alone, She let out a sigh, "You're telling the whole goddamn story" She said whispering, Then mouthed go, I got out, carefully closing the door behind me, "No Jess it was me, I took the trash out" I can hear her muffled voice through the door, I ran to my car and drove off,

God how the hell did I forget to give him the address, I cursed under my breath, let's just hope he's waiting at where I left him, I turned right, driving slowly looking at the few people walking, then I saw a guy sitting on the sidewalk, clenching to his stomach, I looked closely, for the first time I was glad to see Newt, I stopped the car in front of him, but I guess he wasn't bothered to look,

"Come on get in" I said tiredly, before looking at him again, he didn't make any move at all, I waited for few seconds,

"Come on, I'm not gonna wait all night for you to get the hell up" I growled, he looked up giving me a death glare, I furrowed my brows, his eyes were puffy and nose was red, then my eyes drifted to his cheeks, shit he got fucked up really bad, I thought as I saw the purple shade and cuts on his cheek, then I noticed his bruised jaw, I got out quickly,

"What the hell happened to you?" I said as I saw his scrunched up in pain, trying to get up, I lift his arm to help him stand up, he harshly yanked it away, glaring up at me,

"Woah woah clam your dick" I said, raising my hands up in defense, "I was just trying to help"

"I don't need your help" He hissed out while trying to get up,

The ride was pretty quiet, I could only hear newt heavy breath, wrapping his arms around his stomach firmly, I keep glancing at him every now and then, not even knowing why I'm glancing though, I sigh, I don't want to get a lecture from Carla right now, I thought as I got in the driveway, I hope mum is sleeping, or else I'll be so dead, I got out from the car, I turned around waiting for Newt to do the same, I walked to the front door Newt following behind, I saw an angry Carla waiting at the door, I sigh again, but that washed away as soon as she saw Newt's face, She gasped while I walked in,

"Oh my god" She said from behind, "Who did that to you? is it Thomas? I swear to go-" She said quickly,

"What the fuck? I have nothing to do with that" I said cutting her off, turning around, she glared at me then started asking newt, completely ignoring me, I shake my head, "Whatever" I mumble and got in the kitchen, looking for something to eat, I was making myself a sandwich when Carla walked in,

"You're so lucky that your mum is sleeping right now" She said, looking around for painkillers I think, I shrugged off, taking a bite of my sandwich while walking to the living room, I saw Newt looking down at his bruised hands, I jumped to the other coach, he shivered and looked up at me, I let out a chuckle, I think he was into deep thinking not to notice me walking in, he rolled his eyes, looking back down, I took another bite while looking at the TV,

"Here's some painkillers" Carla said, handing him the pills and glass of water, "I'm gonna look up for the bandaids okay? I'll be right back" Newt nodded, She gave me a glare before walking out and up the stairs, we stayed in silence until Newt spoke up,

"This is all your fault" He said, not looking at me, I chuckled,

"I think they hit your head a little bit too hard" I said with a smirk, before getting up,

"Maybe if you didn't turn all the guys against me this would never happen" He said, giving me a death glare

"Maybe if you didn't been an asshole to them this would never happen" I respond,

"I wouldn't be an asshole without a reason" He said through clenched teeth, I turned around,

"Come on you take jokes way too serious"
I said while shaking my head, I made my way out of the living room,

"Yeah run away like a fucking coward" He yelled, Oh no he didn't just say that, did he?, I felt my inside boiling with anger, I walked back quickly, he was standing while crossing his arms,

"What did you just say?" I spit out, giving him a stern look,

"You heard me" He said glaring,

"Don't get on my nerve, Newton" I said through clenched teeth,

"What if I did?, you gonna go crying to your little dicks to hit me again?" He said harshly, who the hell is this person,

"You're crossing the fucking line, Newton" I hissed out, walking closer,

"So what? you already crossed my line" he said, getting a bit closer, our foreheads almost touching, staring deeply into each other's eyes, that were filled up with hate,

"Don't start something you can't finish" I said calmly,

"Oh and what if I already started it?" He said challenging,

"You gonna regret it honey" I said whispering with a smirk, walking a bit closer, he opened his mouth to say something but Carla cut him off

"I leave for few fucking minutes and you both already fighting" We broke eye contact, looking at the direction the voice came from, She shook her head while walking towards us, "You two are acting like a fucking five years old" She glared at both of us, pulling us apart, God he just knows how to push my buttons, I glared at Newt one more time before I start walking to my room, but Carla stops me with her hand on my stomach pushing me back, "Ooh no, not too fast" She said, I look at her confused, "You owe me an explanation" I growled, I completely forgot about it, God not now,

Chapter Text

I was sipping my coffee while Carla was talking to Mrs. Parker, the bruise in my stomach was much worse today, hurting me even more, I tried my best not show any pain in my face when I sit or walk, or just do anything, I didn't show Carla last night, if she knew about it, she will freak out and tell Mrs. Parker, and I seriously don't want to make anymore trouble, than I already did, Of course Mrs. Parker asked me what happened to my cheek and of course me, I lied again, I really don't want her to worry about me she already have her troublesome son to worry about, cutting my thoughts, I saw a figure run, passing the kitchen's doorway,

"Morning mum, Carla" Thomas said loudly, I furrowed my brows, He's never this hype in the morning,

"Why are you in a hurry?" Mrs. Parker shouted,

"Jason is driving me to school, he's gonna kill me if I'm late" He said breathless, oh that's reminds of the conversation Carla and Thomas had last night, it was something like, Carla is taking Thomas' keys or telling his mum about what happened, and of course Thomas gave her the keys,

"What about Newt?" She said, confusion showing in her face,

"He have legs, doesn't he?" He respond before closing the door, she shook her head,

"God this kid" she mumbled, then looked up at me, "Sorry I guess you have to walk to school this time" with an apologetic tone in her voice, I walked to the sink putting the mug down, trying not to chuckle,

"No it's okay I'm kinda used to it" I blurt out, biting my tongue, shit, she wasn't supposed to know, I turned to face her, she looked surprised,

"I mean in my old school I used to walk, you know" I said quickly, her mouth did an 'O' shape, realizing what I meant then nodded,

"For a second I thought Thomas made you walk to school everyday" She said with a laugh, I half smiled, letting out a nervous laugh,

"Anyway I have to get ready, have a good day at school" She said walking out and up to her room,

"Well don't think I didn't notice that" Carla said while sipping her juice, I avoided her eyes,

"What do you mean?" I said looking anywhere but her,

"That you walk to school everyday" She said, "How di-" she cut me off, "One time I took out the trash and I saw you walking on the sidewalk" She said causally, I let out a small "Oh" while staring at the ground,

"You're not going to tell her, are you? I really don't want to deal with Thomas today" I said quickly looking at her with pleading eyes,

"Nope, it's not my place to tell" She said meeting my eyes, "But if you want to talk I'm here" She gave me a look, like making sure I know that,

"Yeah I know" I said looking away, "I better get going, Bye Carla" I could hear her sigh as I was walking, and with that I got out of the house, making my way to school, what a bad way to start the day,

I walked in the school's yard, hearing the boys commenting, I tired to ignore them but that didn't work, I walked nervously, passing them, I couldn't hear what they were saying, because of the voices in my head, it was just a loud noise I couldn't ignore, suddenly I felt someone grab my arm, I turned my head looking at him, Jake, with terrified eyes, after what happened last night, I don't want to get near any of them, not even wanting to defend myself, it doesn't really matter anymore, I pulled my arm out of his grip quickly, walking faster, more like running, I heard them laugh, their laughters keeps following me, but when I turn to see if they're behind me, none of them were, I shook my head, God this is getting worse,

After several periods, and the boys bullying me around, I got in the lab, I looked for an empty chair in the back, I saw one, next to a girl, she was brunette with dark hair, had a beautiful big eyes, I hope she's as nice as she looks, please don't be another annoying girl with fake tiny voice, I seriously won't make it until the end of the period if she was like that, well I don't expect her to talk to me, I'm the new weirdo after all, but I can't stand hearing her calling me names because I insulted her crush, I finally sit down, getting my book out, I looked forward, waiting for the class to start,

"Hi" The girl next to me spoke, I furrowed my brows, not looking at her, is she talking to me or talking to someone else, this is must be my imagination, did I got to the level where I start imagining things, I shook my head slightly, what the hell, "Ehm I said Hi, did you hear me?" She spoke again, waving her hand in front of me, getting my attention, I turned my face, looking at her, with surprised look,

"Sorry, I thought you weren't talking to me" I said quickly, looking at her this close made me notice her pretty hazel eyes,

"Nah it's okay, so you're Newt right?" She asked, looking curious to know,

"Yeah" I said, waiting for her to call me names and giving the disgust face,

"Dude you got everyone talking about you for two weeks straight" She said happily, Confusion written all over my face, I actually didn't see that coming,

"Well that's isn't something to be proud of" I said coldly, looking ahead of me,

"Whatever, that's not my point, my point is I finally found someone who hates the popular guys as much as me" She said smiling, I looked at her surprised, "The name is Hazel by the way" stretching out her hand to shake mine, I was surprised by her actions but I gave her a small smile while shaking her hand,

"Nice to meet you Hazel" I said, to be honest she wasn't as bad as I expected her to be,

"I have a feeling we would be good friends" She said with a giggle, turning her head to face the teacher who just walked in,

"I hope" I said, turning my face, I actually never thought I will have a friend in school, especially this school, I never had one before, I smiled at the idea of having a friend, maybe this will be fun,

*

Thomas' P.O.V.

as I hear the ring goes off, I step out of school, following Jason, we decided going to his place after school, He got in the car, I was about to open the door to get in, My phone started ringing, I look at my phone to see who's calling, I sigh before telling Jason to wait, I walked away from his car, I pressed the green button, bringing the phone to my ear,

"Hello" I said

"Thomas honey" I hear mum's voice coming out of the speakers,

"Yes mum?" I already told her I'm going to Jason's place, Does she really need to start asking questions right now,

"Can you take Newt with you?" She said quickly,

"Mum can you stop worrying about him, he's not a baby, he can walk home by himself" I said annoyed, rolling my eyes even though she can't see me,

"First don't tell me what to do" She said with a serious tone, I sigh, drama queen, "Second I didn't mean it like that, I meant taking him to Jason's place not home" my eyes got wide,

"And why would I ever do that?" I said with a laugh,

"Because I'm going to be late today and I don't want him to be home alone" She said,

"Carla is with him, he's not-" I was cut off by mum "Carla isn't at home and I really don't have time to argue or explain, You better do what I said because I'll call Newt later to make sure" She said in a hurry, "Bye-"

"Wait wait" I said quickly before she hang up,

"What?" She hissed,

"I don't have Newt's number" I mumbled,

"I'll text it to you, I really have to hang up now, Bye sweetie" She said quickly hanging up, I groan, I can't believe mum is making me do this, "God dammit" I said angrily, then I heard my phone goes off, letting me know that I got a new massage, I groan again, walking to where Jason's car was parked,

"What's up?" He said as soon as I got in, turning the volume down,

"We're taking Newt with us" I mumbled,

"Seriously man?" He growled as he drove off to the front of the school, "You still didn't tell me what's your problem with him?" He said, finally looking at me, "and I told you it's a long story" I respond angrily, "Well I'm not letting him in my car until you tell me" I sigh, I quickly explained that he's my mum's friend's son and he moved in with us a few weeks ago, and mum worry about him too much,

"Shit man" He said and I nodded, "I can't believe you and that weirdo live in the same house" I shrugged my shoulders, looking at my phone to call Newt, hoping he didn't already walked home, I heard someone's phone ringing, I looked out of my open window, seeing if I could spot Newt, I almost didn't recognize him, because he was walking with a girl, why would anyone want to be friend with him, I looked at him with disgust, He looked confused at his phone before answering it,

"Come to the car" I said while looking at him, he looked up, meeting my eyes, I hang up, telling the girl something before walking towards us, he got closer,

"What do you want Thomas?" He said tiredly,

"Just get in the car" I said, looking at the people walking in front of the car, "Mum told me to take you with me, she doesn't want the baby to be home alone" I said smirking, looking up at him, followed by Jason's laugh,

"I'll call her later, you can go now" He was about to walk when I grabbed his arm, he shivered, yanking his arm, "Don't touch me" he hissed,

"Just get in the damn car, Don't let me do it in the hard way" I said harshly, few seconds passed staring into each other's eyes, before he opened the car's door and got in, I sigh,

"Finally" Jason said and drove off, maybe this is going to be fun, I smirked to myself while an idea crawled into my mind,

We got in, Newt following behind, Jason walking to the kitchen to get us some drinks, I jumped on the coach while Newt stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do, He walked to the farthest coach while mumbling something I didn't quite catch,
Jason came back with two drinks for me and him, completely ignoring Newt's existence,

"The boys will be here soon, they stopped by to buy few things" He said looking at his phone,

"Tell them to buy me some cigarettes" I said, reaching out to get the remote control for the TV,

Half an hour passed before the boys walked in, I looked up at them, they stopped in their track, confusion showing in their faces, I furrowed my brows at first but then realization hitting me, I almost forget Newt was here because of how quite he was,

"Just ignore him, did you get me my cigarettes?" I said quickly,

"How can I ignore my lovely Newton" Jake said with a smirk while Mike throw me the cigarettes, I saw Jake making his way to Newt's coach sitting next to him, putting his arm around his shoulder, I chuckled,

"How are you after last night?" He said trying to keep a straight face, "I hope I didn't hurt you that much" He whispered in his ears, even though we all heard it, his face got bright red, we burst out a roar of laughters, filling up the silence, with that he pushed him away and got up quickly walking to the kitchen,

"God you never get tired" Mike said while laughing,

After we got out the Ps4 and started playing, Newt came back sitting on the same place he sat earlier, Of course we kept messing around with him, like we always do, calling him names, making fun of him, and all, Suddenly Jake paused the game walking towards Newt, pulling him up and off the coach, close to his face,

"When I talk to you, don't fucking ignore me" Jake spit out, Newt looking at him with wide eyes,

"Don't fucking touch me" Newt said while pushing him away,

"Understood?" He said shaking Newt in his hands, he nodded quickly, "Say it" he hissed,

"Yeah, understood" Newt looking anywhere but Jake, then Jake let go of him, away from his face,

"God your breath stinks" Newt said, more like he was talking to himself,

"What the hell did you just say?" Jake said through his teeth, giving Newt a look I know very well, this is not gonna end up good, I rushed over Jake pushing him back while blocking his way to Newt,

"I think that's enough for today, don't you think Jake?" I said, looking at Jake,

"Hell no, That's faggot didn't learn his lesson last night" He said angrily,

"Enough Jake, stop it" I said harshly, I turned to Newt, "What the hell you're still doing here, go to the fucking kitchen" I said to Newt, I swear that guy have a death wish, I shook my head, "Don't do anything you'll regret later" I said glaring at Jake, he just ignored me and went out for a smoke, God seriously he never get tired, I walked to where I was sitting, continue playing,

For the last two hours, I didn't see Newt's face since he got in the kitchen, I walked in to get myself a drink, I saw him with books all over the table, he was doing his homework, he's not serious, is he?, I shook my head, his back was facing me, I think he didn't hear me coming, I smirked, sneaking up behind him, looking at what he was doing by his shoulder,

"You're such a nerd" I said close to his ear, he shivered at the sound of my voice, I chuckled, he turned his face to the side quickly, glaring at me, our faces were inches apart, I shifted back a bit, "You couldn't wait till we get home to do it" I said walking to the fridge, taking a drink, sipping it while walking again to Newt, there was something got my attention, in the table full of books, I snatched it away, It was his sketchbook, he quickly got up,

"Hey give it back" he said while trying to get the sketchbook, pushing himself against me,

"Nope" I said holding it up, flipping through the pages, looking at his drawings, Those are amazing actually, I didn't expect them to be this good,

"Those sucks" I said, throwing the sketchbook behind me, he walked to where it landed,

"I didn't ask for your opinion" he said while picking it off the ground, I ignored him, looking at how the books and the notes were so organized, an idea crossed my mind, I smirked, putting my drink away, I pushed the books to the side,

"What are you doing?" I heard Newt say from behind me, I took the notes throwing it away randomly, "Hey stop it" he said, pushing me to the side, I took the papers, He tried to take it from my hand but failed, messing his work completely, I smiled at my work of art, notes, books and papers all over the floor, I stepped aside to let him see,

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled, pushing me back, hitting the counter behind, I chuckled,

"Little Newton doesn't like someone to mess with his things" I said smirking,

"What's your problem?" he yelled again, pushing me by my chest,

"You're my problem" I said, the smirk still on my face, he groaned before kneeling down to pick up his things,

"You're fucking sick" he hissed,

"Yeah, I hear that a lot" I said walking out of the kitchen, with a smirk on my face,

After an hour I think, Newt came back to the living room, Of course Jake calling Newt names before he sit down, we messed around with him, and I think he got to his limits as I saw him storm out and into the hallway, I chuckled, he's too easy, My phone started ringing and I smirked, I know exactly who's calling, I gave Jason the controller to play before getting up,

Newt's P.O.V.

I tapped my foot against the ground angrily while shaking, waiting for Thomas to show up, already wearing my jacket, "What do you want Newton?" I heard Thomas say from behind me, I turned around to face him, ignoring the fact that he called me Newton,

"I want to go home" I hissed out, he coldly looked at the clock behind me,

"It's still too early, I guess you have to wait" He said, brushing me off and turning to walk away,

"I'm not staying here one more minute with your little dicks" I said harshly, times like this I have no idea how I got the courage to say these things, I guess I'm so done with his shit, I'm not scared of him anymore, I took my bag placing it on my shoulder, He turned to face me, eyes full of anger, looking at me darkly,

"Don't start shit you can't finish, I'm not gonna repeat this again Newton" He spit out, walking closer to me, I was taken aback by his tone, already shaking because of his friends getting on my nerves, I take back about not being scared now, hoping is not showing on my face, my heart is beating so fast, I bet he could hear it, I swear to god with the look on his face, he's going to murder me, I couldn't breath, feeling my anxiety going crazy, I turned around quickly opening the door and getting out, leaving the door open behind me while walking away as fast as I can,

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" he said yelling, I just kept walking, I heard him closing the door, I let out a sigh, relived, Good thing he didn't follow me,

"Are you fucking crazy? you can't walk home in a weather like this" He yelled again, hearing his footsteps behind, Great,

"Watch me" I said angrily,

"Don't be such an idiot, come-" I cut him off,

"I don't care, Just go back to your friends and leave me the hell alone" I hissed out,

"Yeah so you can tell mum how I left you to walk home alone, no thanks" He said,

"I didn't tell her about what you do to me in school, why would I tell her about this?" I said coldly,

"I wouldn't do that without a reason" he said repeating what I said last night, he's definitely smirking right now,

"Don't you fucking dare say there's a reason, last time I checked you were the one who started shit on PE" I said while turning around to face him, He had a smirk on his face, just like how I expected, he just loves to annoy me,

"Come on don't take it to heart, that just how we greet the new nerds I mean kids" he said chuckling,

"Or maybe you were just jealous" I said, furrowing my brows, looking directly into his eyes,

"Me? Jealous?" He chuckled again, "Jealous of who?, You?," He shook his head, "Why would I be jealous of some weirdo like you?" He said smirking, walking towards me,

"Because little Tommy was afraid his mum gonna like the new kid, because he was everything Tommy isn't, So why not bully the new kid?" I said sarcastically, the sound of clapping got me out of my thoughts, I looked at his hands then back up at his face, confused,

"At least you tried" He said walking closer to me, "You think you got me figured out but you don't know shit about me" He spit out, my breath caught on my throat, because of how close his face was to mine,

"Well I think I touched a nerve" I managed to let out, turning my head to the side, crossing my arms, a smirk making it way to my lips, "I think I can read you pretty well, like an open book but of course you being the asshole you're, will never admit it" I said the last part finally facing him, for a moment I saw a hint of surprise in his eyes but he covered it with a smirk,

"Well, well look at little Newton being confident and all" he said, "You look cute when you think you're right" He laughed before speaking up again, "The boys will love to see this, can we repeat the scene so I can record it?" of course he had his stupid smirk on his face, how can't he,

"God you're unbelievable" I said walking again while shaking my head, he let out a chuckle,

"Well I can't believe you got mad because of the boys' jokes" He said laughing,

"There's a different between bullying and joking" I said coldly,

"How do you know how friends joke with each other since you don't have any?" I can feel the smirk on his face while saying that,

"Just by seeing how they joke with you" I respond,

"So I'm right, you don't have any? I bet in your old school they thought you were some pervert weirdo" He said chuckling,

"Can you just shut up" I said loudly, remembering how it was in my old school, somehow it was worst than the one here, I felt a lump on my throat,

"What? did I touch a nerve?" He said chuckling again, I really want to punch him right now,

"Leave me the fuck alone" I hissed out,

"Nah I'm kinda enjoying this" he walked beside me, "Is baby Newton going to cry?" I can see him pouting in the edge of my eye, a flash back came of my dad saying similar things like that, feeling the lump on my throat growing tighter, "Oh please don't" He said again, "you gonna make me cry" he finally let out a laugh, I felt my eyes getting watery and my vision getting blurry "God you're so pathetic, I don't know how your mum deals-" as I knew where this was going I felt my inside boiling with anger, that's it, he crossed the fucking line, fist grabbing his leather jacket, pulling him closer to my face, eyes still watery,

"Don't. You. Fucking. Dare" I said harshly, his face inches away from mine,

"What? baby Newton gets mad when someone talks about his mummy?" He said with a smirk, with that I coiled back, punching him in the face, wiping that's stupid smirk away from his lips, it felt good to hit someone but that feeling went away as soon as I realized what I just did, letting go of him quickly, blinking, what the hell did I just do, I start to shake, I saw him holding his nose, I panicked,

"I'm so sorry, I didn't-" his fist connected with my sore cheek, I stumble backwards, he tackled me to the ground, falling directly on my back with him getting on top of me, I wince in pain, about the punch and him sitting on my bruised stomach, he hit me again harder this time,

"Too late" He hissed out while I spit out blood,

"You fucking pushed my buttons, what did you expect me to do?" I yelled, trying to get him off of me, I can't bear the pain, feeling my stomach twitching, my eyes burns, holding back tears, but he quickly grabbed my hands, pinning it on both sides of my head, on the ground, I glared up at him with eyes full of tears,

"Just remember where you stand, you will always look up at me and I will look down at you" He said slowly, looking down at me darkly, for a second I forgot about the pain, breath caught on my throat, who does he think he is, hearing my own heartbeat in my ear,

"Can you get off of me, you're fucking hurting me" I said breathless, I didn't realize I was holding my breath all this time, he looked surprised at my response before looking down at where he was sitting, confusion showing on his face, I closed my eyes trying to keep the tears from falling, I felt him slowly letting go of my hands, then got his ass off of my stomach, still feeling his warmth near me, I didn't make any move waiting for him to fully get up, suddenly feeling cold fingertips brushing against the bare skin that was showing my hip a bit, lifting my shirt up to my stomach, my eyes shot open, looking down at the sudden chilliness, I saw him looking down at the purple and black shades on my stomach, with his eyes wide open, hoping he didn't notice the little red pinches scars on the sides, that I always do when I try to calm myself, "What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled, getting up on my elbow while pulling my shirt back down,

"What the hell is wrong with me??" he looked at me in disbelief, "What the hell is wrong with you" he yelled back, I stared at him, thinking about how to respond, I tried to get up but he hold me back, "Are you fucking stupid?? What if you had broken bones?" he said, yelling again,

"It's none of your business" I hissed, looking directly into his eyes, we were so close that I could feel his hot breath on my face, he's taking aback by my response, glaring while he let go of me,

"You're right, it's none of my business" he said before getting up, he looked at his phone, "Come on, we're going home" he said coldly, not looking at me, I stand up quickly, I cursed under my breath for getting up this fast, I got scared, how did he get this cold all of sudden, this is bad, this is really bad, I shouldn't have hit him, I shouldn't have walked out of Jason's house in the first place, I fucked up, there's no way he's going to leave me alone, never, he's seriously now going to make my life a living hell, we stood there with my thoughts eating me alive, waiting for a cab while I was shivering,

"You better not get sick" He said harshly while we got in the cab, God I really better not get sick,

*

Thomas' P.O.V.

I walked through the front door, hearing Newt sneezing loudly behind me, I sigh,
"God dammit Newton" I hissed out, "Go to the living room, there's a blanket, you've been shivering in the car like a fucking paper" I said with a sigh, he did exactly what I said without saying a word, I saw him clenching his teeth as he passed me, I got in the kitchen, looking for medicine, I got the pills and a glass of water, making my way to the living room, I saw him wrapped around the blanket that looks huge on him because of how small his body is, I handed him the pills and the glass of water, he looked at my hands then up at me, his nose was so red and eyes so puffy, I guess he was crying but who cares, I would say he looked cute if he were a girl but nope he's an annoying fucker, he took it with his hands shaking, mumbling thanks, I put the back of my hand on his forehead to see if he caught a fever before sitting down on the other coach, I can see him from the edge of my eye looking at me confused, he quickly looked away as soon as I caught his eyes, I'm confused too, with what I'm doing, why the hell I'm taking care of him, is it because I feel guilty?, nope don't think so, God what the hell is wrong, One minute I bully him and the other minute I'm looking after him, I shook my head, this is so fucked up, "Next time, if you punch me, I'll tear your hand off" I said glaring at him, he didn't look at me, with that I walked out and up to my room with my train of thoughts, leaving sick Newt on the coach, alone,

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i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry, i know its been so long since the last time i updated and i'm sorry, I've been kinda down and got the feeling that my writing sucks that idk how the hell yall read my fic tho, my anxiety got the best of me and i really hate it, so i had no motivation to write at all, and i thought it wasn't worth spending time on this shitty fic with my shitty writing skills, after that the exams got on the way and made me feel like shit, i just wanna point something out, the reason why i started writing this fic is because after i did a surgery on my back, it was hard to move like before it was really tiring and i couldn't bare the pain, and i didn't to school for like a year, doctors told me to walk more cause it was good for my back and it will make me feel better, but it was too much and i get bored too easily, and i couldn't bend down or do anything more than walking and eating, so i thought why not write a fic, i've always wanted to write one, so why not do it now, so after i got better, i was so stressed out, everything was too much for me, and i was kinda depressed and i couldn't dare myself to write again, so here i am apologizing and telling you why i didn't update, idk if anyone still waiting or even gonna read this but whatever, i just wanna clear things out, and i actually don't know if i should continue this fanfic cuz i don't think anyone gonna read it anymore, i have no idea what should i do, and sorry for this long boring rant.

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I growled at the sudden brightness, turning over, feeling every bone inside of me aching, mostly my stomach

"Newt honey you're going to be late" Mrs. Parker muffled voice came through the door and into my room, knocking on my door gently, "Newt" She said again slowly, clacking sound, to inform me someone is turning the knob, hearing footsteps getting closer to me, I hummed while turning to face her, I couldn't open my eyes because of how heavy they were, I heard her gasp, I let out a sigh, I have no strength to explain this mess, squeezing my eyes a little too hard when i felt her cold fingers slightly touching my cheek, "What happened to you?" She said with a voice full of concern,

"I just fell" I said turning away, resting my cheek on the pillow again, she sigh, before sitting on the edge of the bed, not buying it but she didn't push me, which I'm thankful for, she touched my forehead,

"How are you feeling?" She said rubbing my shoulder,

"Sick" I whispered, it came out husky, wincing at my sore throat, feeling her weight off the bed,

"Okay don't fall asleep, I'll bring you some food and medicine" She said before closing the door, it looks like I'm not going to school today, Thank god, I really feel like shit and I don't want to deal with their stupid asses,

I woke up, not remembering if I stayed until Mrs. Parker came back, feeling even worse, I looked at my phone, it's 2pm, wow I slept for too long, I got up and into the bathroom, cursing quietly, at how much my stomach hurt, before washing my face, then walked down the stairs, I was gonna get in the kitchen but I stopped in my track when I heard Mrs. Parker,

"Explain, now" Mrs. Parker said,

"What?" Thomas said with a mouth full of food, I stood there eavesdropping,

"What did you do this time?"

"Nothing" He said quickly,

"Thomas" She said in stern tone,

"What?" he said confused,

"What happened between you and Newt?"

"What do you mean?" He said, I can imagine him knotting his brows,

"You hit him, didn't you?"

"Not this again" He said with a sigh, "Not everything happens to him is my fault" he said through clenched teeth,

"Then who did it? Jake?, he hit him didn't he? he doesn't always control his temper" She said harshly,

"Don't get Jake into this" he said back in the same tone,

"You know what, I don't want to know" She said walking to the doorway, I backed away "And you're grounded"

"What?, I swear it's not my fault" he paused for a moment, "I didn't even get to explain" he said in disbelief, "He walked out-"

"You're not making any sense Thomas" She snapped, "And what the hell were you thinking letting him walk in a weather like that?" she turned to face him, her back facing the doorway,

"What?" Thomas replied dumbfounded,

"Don't play dumb Thomas" She said, giving him a stern look,

"I actually tried to-" She cut him off, "I don't want to hear anymore excuses"

"but I'm not-" He said in disbelief, "Mum, I followed him around to stop him but he's so fucking stubborn" he said getting up, the sound of him slamming his palms against the counter made me jump, getting me out of my thoughts, I walked in quickly, not aware of what i'm doing until I saw pair of warm brown eyes looking my way, getting both of their attention,

"Sorry to interrupt but Mrs. Parker" I said looking at her, trying not to make eye contact with Thomas, "Thomas is telling the truth, he tried to stop me but I just didn't listen" I glance towards Thomas, he was staring down with a surprised look on his face, "I just thought it would be fun" I said looking down at my feet, "and then I fell down on my face, that's it"

"Thomas didn't threaten you to lie to me right?" She said doubting me, I Shook my head furiously,

"No no, he didn't" I said quickly, even though I know he would do something like that, she looked at me one last time before sighing, glaring at Thomas before turning around,

"Okay, you both are grounded" She said with a serious tone, I nodded not making eye contact with Thomas,

"That's not fucking fair" Thomas growled, Mrs. Parker made her way up to her room ignoring Thomas, while I walked slowly to the fridge to get me something to drink, I can feel his eyes burning holes in my back, shivering a bit by it, and the fact that he didn't make any sound or move, is making me nervous, I turn on my heels and I saw him standing exactly right behind me, staring back into his warm eyes, that i hate so much, I shook my head before trying to escape, passing him, feeling his finger suddenly grabbing me, tight around my arm with high closed firm, I glared down while shaking my arm to loosen his tight grip,

"Let go" I said harshly, finally meeting his eyes again, he didn't say anything for a moment, just looking at me darkly,

"I don't need people like you sticking up for me" he chuckled before saying "You think being nice and defending me will stop me from making you suffer" he tighten his grip making me want to wince, I hold it, trying not to show him any emotion, instead I keep glaring up at him, pressing my fingers around the bottle of water, that i was holding, "All the little things we did to you was only the beginning" he quickly pulled my arm against his abdomen , making me stumble forward, "Those were nothing" Smirking, his fingers loosen a bit around my arm, falling slowly on his side,

"Piss off" That was all I could get out, walking up the stairs and into my room, ignoring the sick feeling on the bottom of my stomach, covering my ears before the voices could say anything, but that obviously didn't stop them though,

*

"fuck it" I said again, I keep sighing and cursing for the past hour, leaning back on my chair, I have no idea how the bloody hell I'm supposed to finish this shitty essay, I sigh before taking off my glasses, rubbing my eyes and wearing it once again, I've been in the house library for 3 hours or even more, I drop my head in both hands, I heard my phone buzzing, signaling of a new massage, I lift my head, confused, looking over at my phone, thinking who will ever text me, I shook my head then chuckle, I forgot that hazel and I, exchanged phone numbers yesterday, I grabbed my phone, ready to respond,

Hazel: Hey Newt, its Hazel
Hazel: You didn't show up to school today, What happened? is everything okay??

I smiled at the text before typing,

Newt: I just caught a fever, don't worry

Hazel: You sure?

Newt: 100% sure

Hazel: Okay I'm not gonna be pushy -.-
Hazel: So do you wanna grab some coffee after school? pls say yessssss

Newt: Wow Hazel I didn't know you were so nice

Hazel: Shuddaup I'm always nice

Newt: yeah whatever, yeah I'd love to but I can't :(

Hazel: wHYYYYY???!!??

Newt: i'm grounded :/

Hazel: seriously? lol, what did you do??

Newt: when you see me tomorrow morning you will know

Hazel: come on tell meeeee

before I can response, I heard someone swing open the door, I shot my head up, looking at whoever just walked in, When I saw the familiar figure, I rolled my eyes, looking back down, pretending to be busy with my phone,

"Exactly where I expected to find a loser like you" Thomas said, looking as smug as always, I can feel his steps getting closer to where i'm sitting, looking up, shooting him a glare,

"What do you want?" I said before he could make a joke,

"A book" he simply said as he walked to the shelfs behind me, I looked at him surprised, What the actual fuck?, I shook my head then turned my attention to my laptop, suddenly I felt a heavy weight drop on my head, wincing at the sudden pain that went straight through my head, "Oops my bad" I can feel him smirking, I cursed under my breath

rubbing at the spot while turning back, to get a better view, "What the hell Thomas?" I said through my teeth, he completely ignored me, walking around, looking at what i'm doing, he was about to grab the notes but i quickly took it, knowing exactly what he was going to do, he chuckled before plumping down on the chair next to me

"Fuck off"

"What you gonna do about it?" he said still keeping that stupid smirk of his, keeping my eyes on the laptop completely ignoring him, trying to find the right words for the essay,

he has been messing up my work for the last hour or so, taking every chance to make fun of me, he keeps getting out of the library, thinking he's finally gone, but minutes later he show up just to annoy me even more,

I took off my glasses, placing it next to the laptop, rubbing my nose and both of my eyes before getting up, looking for a book for the seventh time today, I came back to sit in front of the laptop again, placing the books, I stretched out my hand to where I left my glasses, but there was nothing, I heard Thomas chuckles beside me, I looked at him, I was ready to glare at him, but the view got me off guard, breath caught on my throat, I blinked, he was wearing my glasses, with that stupid smirk on his lips, and surprisingly it looked good on him?¿, he looks like a hot nerd, ew wait, what the fuck?, did I just thought he was hot, admit it he's good looking, my mind spoke, yeah sure whatever but he's not hot though, not e-

"Take a picture, it will last longer" still having that ugly smirk on his face,

"Haha" I let out snicker, mimicking him snatching my glasses back, wearing it again, resting my elbow on the desk, titling my head to the side a little, leaning on my palm, trying to hide my red face by giving my full attention to the laptop, I can still feel his eyes on me, I sigh for hundredth time today, "Can you please leave"

"Nah i have nothing better to do" he said leaning back on his chair, putting his hands behind his head, he stayed quiet for few minutes before getting out of the library, and then back again in his spot, next to me, I saw him leaning to me, closer than before, but i ignored him, When I finally finished my essay and I was about to close my laptop,

"Newton" Thomas said close to my ear, I jumped a little before turning my face to face him, but it wasn't Thomas who I was facing, it was a fucking spider, on his hand, few inches away from my face, I screamed out in surprise, feeling my sore throat hurting like a bitch, backing away quickly, falling out of my chair, I hissed as I felt my stomach twitch in pain, who the fuck in their right mind would have a fucking spider as a pet, "Get that thing away from me" I yelled breathless, I saw him shaking while hiding his face with one hand, I was confused for a second, then i realized he was silently laughing, he removed his hand, his face was so red, crazy red, he leaned back on his chair laughing out loud, wiping tears from his eyes, I stared at him in surprise, this is the first time I saw him genuinely laughing, like really laughing from his heart, not pretending or forcing himself, without smirking, without his stupid remarks, it was beautiful, I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding, when he finally calmed down, I realized that I'm still on the floor, I got up quickly, gathering my stuff, Carefully not to get close to Thomas,

"You scared Frankie" Thomas said with a chuckle,

"Wow and you named it Frankie" I whispered under my breath, but Thomas did hear me anyway, Making my way to the door, Carefully not letting anything fall out of my hands, but of course, Thomas had to shove me by his shoulder, to get to the door first, making few papers slip away, I heard him let out a small laugh, I glared at his back, taking the few papers that fell on the floor, I got up and made my way to my room, placing my things on the desk, I laid on my bed, closing my eyes for moment, before realizing the buzzing sound of my phone, I rolled over, taking it out from my back pocket, looking at the few text that I got, from Hazel, I smiled before unlocking my phone and start typing, maybe this isn't bad after all, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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I was walking down the street, making my way to school, feeling so heavy and full, making it hard to walk faster, Carla shoved every food she found into my freaking mouth, saying it will help me with my sickness, Goddamit Carla, now I can't even walk, I thought to myself, I felt my phone buzzing on my back pocket, getting out, to hold it up in front of me, seeing texts from Hazel, unlocking it so I can respond, we kept texting until I got face to face with her at the school's gate,

“Damn dude you weren’t kidding” She said while gazing my cheek,

“I told you” I said, looking over her shoulder, checking if those assholes were waiting for me,

“He did a number on your face” She said, I can hear the amuse in her voice, trying not to let out a chuckle,

“Very funny” I said bumping our shoulders together before grabbing her arm, and pulling her towards the doors, “Come on, we gonna be late”, getting a few stares in our direction as we walked together, passing the school's yard and through the silver doors, I took a deep breath before walking again, feeling the sea of eyes on us, and the little whispers that never stop got even more as we walked down the hallway, Hazel kept talking, ignoring everyone's gaze, like nothing can bother her, while me here feeling like every bone inside of me is shaking, the voices that never leave or shut up, making it hard to breath, When we got closer to my locker, I took a deep and long breath, closing my eyes for second, then looking back down at the school's floor, Hazel noticed, feeling her concern gaze on the edge of my eye, "Are you alright?, Do you feel sick??" She said quietly, walking slower,

"No i'm fine" I said not looking at her, approaching my locker and unlocking it,

"Okay I'm just gonna go grab my book and I'll be righ-"

"Oh if it isn't our lovely Newton" I sigh as I heard the familiar voice interrupting Hazel and I, Thomas leaning his back on the locker beside me, Jake who just spoke is or so I think is behind me, I couldn't see what expression Hazel were making that made them both notice her, "He made a friend isn't that nice guys" They let out a chuckle, Jake pulled me by my backpack and turned me around slamming me against the lockers harshly,

"What a nice bruise you got there" He smirked, "I wonder who did it" He looked towards Thomas, who smirked back at him,

"As I said before can you get away from my face, you breath stinks and it's making me dizzy" I said looking him in the eyes with a small smile,

"You never learn you piece of shi-" He was so freaking close from punching me, before Hazel grabbed his arm, and cut him off,

"Let him go" She said with a cold look in her eyes, I gave her a 'Wtf you're doing' look, but she just ignored me,

"Or what baby girl?" He said smirking looking at his friends then back at her, Before he can register, without hesitation, She curled her fingers into a fist, pulling her arm back and straight into his smirking face, his smirk dropped as soon as he realized what happened and placed his hand palm against his cheek. He shoot her a dirty look, before grabbing her by the arm, and raising his other hand ready to slap her, I quickly stood in front of him before he could lay a hand on her, In a swift movement Thomas grabbed both of Jake’s arms "That's enough Jake" Thomas said, pulling him back and away from us,

"This is not over" Jake said as he gave hazel and I a death glare before walking off. I turned around quickly, facing Hazel, "What a jerk" She whispered, looking at where Jake went off.

"What the hell were you thinking?” I said breathless, while shaking my head in disbelief.

"You're welcome" She said while giving me a smug look,

"No no you don't get it, this isn't some stupid movie" I said while giving her a cold look, "He would have actually hit you I'm not even kidding Hazel, he's crazy, if you ever saw me in that situation please just don’t get involved” I looked at her sternly making sure my words got into her head. She turned around, about to walk away, "Oh come on Ne-" I cut her off, pulling her by the arm, returning to her old position,

"I'm serious Hazel, don’t you dare do that shit again" We locked our eyes for few seconds before she let out a long sigh,

"Fine" She mumbled, I took my hand off her arm, turning to my locker, taking out my book and walking towards her locker. after that, silently side by side we walked to class while my heart is aching, I have a bad feeling about today.

***

It was lunch time, I'm leaning next to Hazel's locker as she put her books and notebooks inside, I cleared my throat before talking,

"Umm are you going to the cafeteria?" I asked, She looked at me like it was the dumbest question ever, despite that she responded with, "Yeah, why?" while looking at me curiously,

"No nothing, just to let you know I'm going to the library" I said as we started walking towards the cafeteria, not looking at her,

"And why are you going to the library?" She asked quietly, I knew where this is going,

"To study" I finally looked at her, giving her a small smile, hoping she will believe it,

"No you can't fool me, Nope honey not me" She said, Shaking her head, "You’re actually scared of them or maybe you don't want me to get involved with them?” She said guessing, looking at me questioning if she got it right, “Not at all” I said avoiding her eyes, she kept staring at me which made me eventually give in, "Okay you’re right” I sighed before continuing “but also I can’t seem to relax whenever I’m in the cafeteria even if those assholes weren't there you know" I said quietly, looking down at my hands, She put her hand on my back, lightly rubbing circle, I let out a sigh, this is somehow comforting,

"I get it" She pulled away her hand, "Can you wait for me till I finish eating? No talking only eating I swear, and also you really should eat too, if that too much for you it's okay, you don't ha-" I cut her off chuckling, she looked at me glaring, "It's fine let's go" I said smiling, maybe this isn't a bad idea, We stood in front of the Cafeteria's doors, hearing these muffled laughters and noise, making me rethink my decision but it was too late, She pushed the heavy metal door, I let out a shaky breath before walking inside, making those noises so clear to my ears, it was overwhelming with voices inside of my head, I wanted to run away as fast as I can, but I just stood next to Hazel on the line, ready to order anything and get out of this hell hole,

*

We walked out of the library, and down the hallway, deep down in my guts I have a bad feeling about this, this is the first time since I came here the hallway was quiet, so quiet you can almost hear your own footsteps, but the few whispers blocking it, it was good for a high school hallway to be this quiet while the students were still at their lockers, but it wasn't for me, I felt so suspicious, there must be something wrong, they all stared at us carefully, their eyes weren't fill up with hate, neither in disgust, not even in arrogance, there's something else, something I didn’t catch on, like they're expecting something to happen, no no more like they're 'waiting' it to happen, and that what is scaring me to death, I heard a few snickers in our way, I looked at Hazel, she was calm and collected, as always, "Hey Hazel" I said whispering, "hmm?" she hummed in response, "Those dochbags are up to something" I said whispering again, "dude you're just overthinking" she said, looking at something in her phone, I nodded, looking ahead again, we stopped at her locker first then we went to mine, as we got closer, I can see Thomas and his dickheads of a friends, standing on the other side, exactly on the locker opposite of mine, as soon as I caught their eyes, sending a few smirks and chuckles in my direction, which I completely pay no attention to, I stood in front of my locker, suddenly the unpleasant smell hit me and shot straight through my nostril, the smell was like old coffee, with a rotten cheeseburger and a stinky underarms smell mixed up all together, almost making my eyes water, it was hard to breath, I looked over at Hazel with a confused and disgusted face which she returned with the same look, before looking around, trying to get a hint where that smell coming from, but it was too strong to know in which direction, I unlocked my locker, the sudden action made few stinky things come out and fall into my shirt before falling straight to the ground, and there was more coming out falling down at my feet that when I realized those things were trash, they fucking filled up my whole locker with garbage, as everything moved in slow motion I looked down where the trash covered my shoes, the laughters were muffled, I shut down everything, like if I was in a small and really tight room, that I can hear my own breath, and and there's no way to get out, The only clear things are, the voices in my head, and Hazel's harsh voice yelling at who the hell knows, I slowly looked up at my locker, the trash wasn't the worst thing in this whole situation, No no, oh boy I was wrong, what caught my eyes was something way worse, They hanged a dead rat by his tail in the middle of my locker, cut his stomach open just enough to see his insides, and oh how I wished I was in his place, not about having a cut in my stomach, but being dead, I fixed my eyes at the dead rat, looking at him coldly, waiting for him to open his eyes and laugh at me like everyone else, even the voices inside of my head are laughing, not showing any emotion in my face, seeing everything around me in a slow motion, feeling sick to my stomach, somehow I made my way to the boys bathroom, getting close to the toilet bowl, I dropped on my knees, as tears came out, slowly rolling down my cheeks, I looked at the water inside of it, my tear dropped down, making a plop sound, feeling my stomach boiling, whatever I ate this morning and earlier, surging up my throats and into the waiting toilet bowl, The vomit made my already sore throat feel like it’s burning as it came up looking like clam chowder and smelling like acidic cheetos, The taste of it as it passed between my open jaws filled me with shame, more tears came out now, as I ducked my head deep down, resting it on my arm, breathing heavily, I heard someone opening the door, I prayed with all of my heart it wasn't them, When I heard a warm voice calling my name, I thought to myself thank god. I let out a shaky breath and whispered, "I'm here" I said quietly while my voice cracked, hurried footsteps coming my way, pushing the door open, I heard her gasp, kneeling down beside me, rubbing circles on my back gently just like she did earlier, my stomach clenched in pain, retching again, "It's okay, let it all out" She said in a soothe way, still rubbing my back while I kept my head on my arm, we stayed like this for awhile, When I pulled myself together, I sit up, the tears finally stopped, leaving stains of teardrops on my face,

"Newt" She said quietly, like I might break just from her voice, I turned to the side, facing her, and I hated myself for doing that, I didn't want her to see me like this, I don't want anyone to see me like this, puffy and teary eyes how disgusting, I’m a boy and I know damn well boys don’t cry, what i'm doing right now is so wrong, I hated myself even more when I saw her eyes filled up with pity, I was about to get up but before I could do that, she pulled me into a tight hug, that made me want to cry even more, she kept rubbing my back, somehow that made me feel at ease, I hugged her back, filling myself with her warmth making my body relax, moments later, I pulled myself away from her, She gave me a small smile, "Do you feel better?" She asked eyeing me carefully, I nodded, "Here take a sip" She handed me the water bottle, I drank quickly before giving it back to her, "Thanks" I mumbled, she smiled in return, I rose to my feet, walking towards the sink, washing my face with cold water,

"Wanna go to the nurse office?" She asked looking at me through the mirror, I shook my head, I heard her let out a sigh, "Then I'll go to the principle office, tell him what those jerks did” She said with an angry tone in her voice, I shook my head in denial, “No need for that I can handle it by myself” I said not looking her in the eye, “What they just did was too fucking far newt” I kept quiet, I can feel her eyeing me slowly “Whatever I’m gonna go talk to th-“ I turned around and grabbed her before she can walk away “I said no need for that Hazel” She glared at me “I’ve seen what they did to you ever since you came here and they gonna do way worst than today if you don’t stop them” I can tell she’s getting frustrated by her tone, I sighed “I can take it Ha-“ She yanked her arm away and yelled “How longer? till they drive you over the edge and kill yourself?” I couldn’t respond to that, I was speechless. She gave me one last glare, with that she walked out of the bathroom, I stared at myself in the mirror, I look pathetic, helpless and I hate it, I washed my face again and again, until I heard someone opening the door, I looked up slowly, staring at the reflection of the mirror to see who just entered the bathroom, Thomas stood there crossing his arms, looking smug as ever, I kept my eyes locked with his. "I hope you liked your little present" He said while stepping closer, "From the way your eyes look, I guess those were happy tears" He said chuckling, I glared at him, not saying a word, not even having the energy to fight, so I just washed my hands before grabbing some tissues, "Hazel seems like an interesting girl" He said again as I wiped my hands, "It will be such a waste not to mess with her a little, don't you think?" He said smirking, I know he's trying to get on my nerve, and oh boy it’s working, I turned around quickly to face him, "Don't you even try to lay a finger on her" I said with a husky voice, glaring so hard at him, He let out a small laugh, "Or what?" Looking at me challenging, "Just keep her out of this" I said as I turned away, taking a deep breath, holding back, trying so hard not to hit him in the face, "I see, keeping the fun all to yourself" He said, I can tell he was smirking by his voice, "Is she that good in bed?" He paused for a moment waiting for a response, then said again "Come on Newton help a brother out, I just wanna get into her pants nothing more" while grabbing my arm and turning me around, I looked straight into his eyes, "Well Thomas you sound like a dog in heat, does your charm with the girls doesn’t work anymore that’s why you are asking for my help? are you that desperate?" I said smugly, staring back, looking at his reaction, I can say confidently that he didn't see that coming, my smirk got wider, what I expected to happen after that, actually happened, he curled his fingers into a fist, punching me straight into my face, I winced as his fist connected with my bruised cheek, "My poor cheek isn't going to heal anytime soon" I said with a laugh before tackling his ass to the glossy floor the sudden action made my bruised stomach twitch in pain, I punched him hard on the cheek, man that felt good, I've been dying to do that ever since this morning, wait no this is really bad, he cut off my thoughts by rolling me over so it was the other way around, he's now on top of me, our faces were few inches apart, I glared up at him while he looked at me darkly, "You're dead, Newton" He said before punching me once again, but this time on my bruised stomach, "Fuck you" I hissed out breathless, feeling my eyes getting watery, he punched me again, and I let out a wince, I rolled over, getting on top of him, sitting particularly on his lap, ignoring the throbbing pain in my stomach, yanking him by the shirt, pulling him up and close to my face, closer than before, once again I throw a hard punch towards his cheek, I let go of him shaking in my place, glancing down for a brief moment on my swollen and red knuckles before looking up and seeing him spit out blood and then wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, I took a deep breath, before freaking out inside, what the fuck was I thinking?, I didn’t just punch him twice on his cheek did I?, oh boy he sure gonna make me pay for it. Feeling Thomas’ eyes on me, not daring to glance up and see the look on his bruised face, before either of us can do anything more, I heard the door slamming shut, signaling us that someone already entered the bathroom, who I expect to be Hazel, I turned my face where the footsteps stopped looking up, to my surprise it wasn’t Hazel, it was the principal himself, holy shit, I swear the look on his face could kill, looking down at us with disgust, "You two to my office now" He yelled on the top of his lungs, waiting for us to get up, I rose up to my feet quickly, I almost stumbled forward, while Thomas got up lazily, like he’s used to these situations while me here this tiny close from peeing my pants,

as we walked out, the bell rang while following behind Thomas, wiping my mouth roughly, distracting myself from everyone's glare, I kept looking down on my feet, until we got to the principle’s office, "Sit" he said quietly, closing the door behind him, I sit down, looking at my fidgeting fingers, "Can someone explain to me what's going on?" he said quietly again, tapping his pen repeatedly on his desk, Thomas let out a sigh before saying, "Just a fight" He said, giving 'isn't that obvious' look, "Just a fight you say, Then what about the trash I found in Newton’s locker?" He said almost yelling, slamming his palm against the desk hard, I jumped a little, startled by the sound, Thomas looked the other way ignoring him, “Who did you plan this with Thomas?” while glaring at him, waiting for a couple of seconds giving him a chance to speak up but Thomas kept looking to the side unbothered, “Fine since you’re such a loyal friend” He took out some papers from the drawer next to him, "I've warned you before Thomas now I've had enough" Thomas let out a Chuckle, “You’re suspended for two weeks” Thomas didn’t show any reaction like he was expecting it, principal looked at me directly, watching me carefully, "now Newton about the fight in the bathroom, what exactly happened?” I couldn't dare to glance towards Thomas, I can feel him glaring at me from the edge of my eye, it's like he's daring me to say something, I wanted to scream out loud, I wanted to say everything he did to me ever since I came here, I wanted to tell him about today, I really wanted to, I really wanted to say something, any fucking thing, but I couldn't, I felt like I was suffocating, feeling my breath getting heavier, “if you don't speak up for yourself Newton you’re leaving me no choice but to put you in the same position as Thomas" He said the last part glaring at Thomas, then looking back at me, waiting for an answer, He sighed, rubbing his forehead, "Starting from tomorrow, you two will be cleaning the old lockers after school everyday for one month", Hell fucking no, I shoot my head up, hoping he will change his mind for a second, but he cut off my thoughts by saying “Go wait outside" as soon as he said that, I got up as quickly as possible, like if the room was on fire, I couldn't breath in there, I will be spending a month in hell with the devil himself, together, everyday after school, cleaning the lockers, no fucking way, I shook my head, is there something worst than that, The dead rat in your locker, my mind spoke, true but still fuck.