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Chapter Text

The first time Regina acknowledged it, she chalked it up to nothing more than the pain meds talking.

She was at the Spring Fling dance, resting on a chair she’d pulled up near the punch bowl. As mortifying as it was to have to sit down at a dance like some grandma, she didn’t want to end up back on bed rest because she pushed herself too far. All night, she kept catching her eyes wandering over to Janis and whoever her date was. She couldn’t even focus enough on Shane to keep him entertained, and he ditched her for some second-rate bitch whose dress didn’t even match her shoes.

Not that she really cared. She was too focused on Janis and her little “girlfriend”. She watched them dancing and saw Janis’ arms wrapped around the girl’s waist, holding her close. She caught them kissing on the dance floor, soft and sweet. It made her stomach twist in a strange way she didn’t understand. Or maybe just a way she didn’t want to understand.

She glanced away as she noticed Janis’ hands dipping lower on the girl’s waist, her face screwing up slightly at the sight. It was resentment. It had to be. Janis got her happily-ever-after with whoever that was—some art freak, Regina was sure—and she got Shane Oman trying to messily grope her for the collective two minutes she’d danced with him.

She sighed deeply and looked back up, only to lay eyes on Janis ‘Imi’ike standing right in front of her.

“You’re blocking the punch bowl,” Janis said, motioning behind Regina. She just rolled her eyes.

“So? Go to the other side,” she sniped. “It’s not up against a wall.”

Janis sighed and moved behind the table. Regina’s eyes silently tracked her. Once she’d gotten her punch, Regina expected her to walk back off to her date, but instead, she came and stood next to her awkwardly. The silence between the two was deafening despite the bustle of the dance going on around them. It was Janis who broke it.

“I’m sorry,” she said tensely. Regina nearly choked, her eyes flying up to Janis in what looked more like a glare than shock. She thought she must’ve heard her wrong, but then Janis continued, “I…didn’t mean for it to go that far. Things got out of hand. I guess.”

Regina gave a derisive snort.

“You don’t say,” she said dryly, waving a hand in the direction of her neck brace. Janis flushed, and her eyebrows pulled together. Whether it was in anger or embarrassment, Regina couldn’t tell. There was another long silence.

Then, Janis said, “You look nice. In your dress.”

“I always look nice,” Regina snapped more aggressively than she’d intended.

The truth of the matter was that, ever since the accident, Regina had grown uncomfortable with her body in a way she never had before. Her relationship with her looks had always been rocky. She’d struggled with eating disorders since middle school, and no matter what the scale read, it was always too high. Still, she’d known she was objectively beautiful.

Now?

Now, the healthy glow her skin used to have had dimmed. Her hair, previously a beautiful lion’s mane, seemed to hang dull, limp, and lifeless against her shoulders. The weight she’d gained thanks to those awful Kälteen bars had left her with stretch marks marring what had once been a smooth expanse of skin. Worst of all, the surgeries that had saved her life after the accident had given her a huge, ragged scar that ran from just above the base of her neck to halfway down her back.

Janis rolled her eyes and took a step in the other direction to leave, muttering under her breath about how she’d tried. Before she even knew what she was doing, Regina’s hand shot out and clamped down on Janis’ wrist like a vice.

“No, stay,” she blurted. Her eyebrows furrowed as she realized how desperate she sounded. She didn’t like how pathetic it made her feel, but she didn’t let go of Janis’ wrist either.

Janis blinked a few times, looking down at the stiletto nails digging into her skin. Then she came back over, leaning against the snack table again. This time, it was Regina that broke the stretching silence.

“You look nice too. Very handsome,” she said, the last part slipping out almost by accident. She didn’t know why she said it. It was probably just because of the pain meds. They were strong, and she’d been saying weird things all night despite struggling to seem less doped up than she was.

Janis snorted. Regina colored, her face pinching as she looked up to glare at Janis. She felt like a petulant child from this angle. It was an odd role reversal with the height difference she usually had on the other girl.

“Tits,” Janis muttered through a sigh.

“Tits?” Regina echoed in confusion, and Janis sighed even more deeply.

“I mean ‘great’,” she responded.

Regina couldn’t help the barking laugh that came out of her throat.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said, looking at Janis incredulously. When Janis didn’t respond, Regina’s mocking smile grew wider. “You’re serious? Way to be a walking stereotype.”

“Thanks. Let me know once you get past the hyper-femme stage, Princess Pink,” Janis responded, her voice dripping with dry sarcasm.

Regina started to bite back but then grew quiet. She stared off at the dance floor as she chewed at the inside of her cheek.

“So where’s your little girlfriend?” she asked after a minute.

“Why do you care?” Janis countered.

“I don’t,” Regina snapped defensively. “I’m just being nice or…whatever.”

“That’d be a first,” Janis muttered, garnering another glare from Regina. Sighing, she relented and said, “I…wasn’t really having a good time.”

Regina looked up at her in confusion.

“Really? You were dancing and laughing and all that shit. Looked like a real party,” she said. Now it was Janis’ turn to be taken aback.

“Were you watching me or something?” she asked.

“No!” Regina immediately retaliated. “You’re just hard to miss. You’re wearing an all-purple tux.”

Janis seemed to almost deflate a little bit. Regina swallowed hard.

“Why weren’t you having a good time?” she asked after a minute, her tone coming off almost vulnerable. She hated how it sounded. It was ridiculous. She was acting like this over nothing—over less than nothing. This was Janis of all people!

After a second’s pause, Janis sighed and shook her head, looking over to the girl she’d brought with her. She was dancing with someone else now. Janis stared at her for a long minute.

“I just…couldn’t get into it, I guess. I don’t know why; so don’t ask,” she replied curtly.

Regina nodded, looking over at her own date. Shane was fumbling around in a dark corner with that other blonde girl. She wasn’t half as pretty as Regina, but there was a clear enough resemblance that it was obvious Shane had a type. There was also a clear enough resemblance that it was obvious the girl was trying to copy Regina. She even had a similar haircut. Janis followed her gaze and snorted.

“I don’t think I even need to ask why you’re not with Shane,” she said. “It looks like he’s trying to eat her face off.”

Regina threw her head back and laughed—genuinely laughed. It was a noise that wasn’t as pretty as the practiced one she usually used. It had been a long time since someone had made her laugh like that, and it had been an even longer time since she’d done it in public. She didn’t like how it sounded naturally. She thought it sounded too much like a hyena: high-pitched and cackling. She’d forcibly learned a new laugh before freshman year started to make herself sound more normal.

Janis turned to her, a half-smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“I haven’t heard you laugh like that for ages,” she said. “Thought you’d forgotten how.”

Suddenly, a barely noticeable alarm rang from inside Regina’s purse, and she sighed in relief.

“Thank god,” she muttered, reaching into her purse and pulling out the bottle of pain medication. “My neck’s been hurting like hell this whole time.”

“Here,” Janis said, pushing herself up from her leaning position on the table, “I’ll get you some punch to take those with, but uh… It’s a little spiked. Ms. Norbury and Mr. Duvall didn’t keep the best eye on it; so you might not want to drink much.”

Regina snickered as Janis poured punch into a red plastic cup, handing it over to her. She looked down at it to find the smallest possible amount barely covering the bottom. She rolled her eyes.

“You’re a real party animal tonight, aren’t you?” she teased.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for not wanting to put you in the hospital. Again,” Janis quipped back.

Regina tipped out two pills into her palm, popped them under her tongue, and looked down at the drink with a sigh. It was difficult for her to drink in the neck brace without a straw. She started to struggle with it when Janis reached out and took the cup from her again. Regina was about to protest, but Janis held it up to her lips.

“Open your mouth,” she said. Regina’s eyebrows furrowed, but she parted her lips ever so slightly.

“You’d better not mess up my lipstick,” she told her, adding a grumbled, “It’s almost harder to reapply that than it is to drink.”

Janis shook her head.

“Of course that’s what you’re worried about,” she muttered as she carefully tipped the punch into Regina’s mouth.

Regina could feel the light blush coloring her cheeks, but the bad lighting of the dance covered it up well.

“What the hell am I blushing over?” she wondered to herself, but she had a small inkling dawning in the back of her head—one that she wasn’t particularly fond of.

Janis pulled back once the cup was empty.

“Get me some more, would you?” Regina asked.

She knew the pain meds would kick in soon, and once they did, she’d be even more out of it than before. Still, this was the closest she’d get to a real party until she was a little more healed, and she wanted to make the most of it.

“Maybe let that settle before you decide to really fuck yourself up,” Janis replied.

“Aww, look, you do care,” Regina teased, and Janis rolled her eyes again.

“Oh please,” she responded, but she didn’t elaborate.

Janis looked back over at her date. Regina’s eyes, on the other hand, were glued on the girl next to her. She’d forgotten how clever Janis was. If she was being honest with herself, she was having a much better time than she had been expecting, and it definitely wasn’t thanks to Shane.

Janis turned back to Regina, catching her staring. She gave her an odd look, raising one eyebrow.

“Okay, I know those pills haven’t kicked in yet. What are you staring at?” she asked, her voice suspicious.

“I looked at you. Suddenly, that means I’m staring?” Regina countered, trying to evade the question.

“I have peripheral vision, Regina. And I’m also just not stupid,” Janis responded.

“I was just…” Regina started, trailing off after a second.

She stared off into the crowd of students. She knew she should come up with an excuse, but some small part of her didn’t want to. She knew it wasn’t a good idea, but she decided to let that little voice win out. She took a deep breath.

“I was just thinking about when we were kids,” she said, training her gaze back on Janis, her blue eyes piercing into her. Janis immediately grew visibly uncomfortable, tensing up and frowning slightly.

“What about it?” she asked after a minute.

“Just…” Regina looked away, shaking her head, “Everything. How nice it was.”

Her voice was quiet, almost tentative. She didn’t sound quite like her usual, impenetrable self. Janis looked over at her sharply, eyebrows pulled together.

“How nice it was?” she asked, tone accusatory.

“Before,” Regina cut in just as vehemently. “Before that.”

Janis sighed and tempered ever so slightly.

“Yeah,” she relented at last. “I guess it was pretty nice back then.”

They slowly got to talking about the past, and they didn’t stop for a long time. Janis gave in and got Regina more punch as they went down memory road. Halfway through the conversation, Regina’s meds mixed with the several cups of spiked punch she’d coaxed out of Janis kicked in, and her words and thoughts started slurring ever so slightly.

She leaned her head against Janis’ hip, wrapping her arms around her with a dopey smile. She felt all of Janis’ muscles immediately seize up, her body so tense she almost seemed to be frozen in place. She reached out, awkwardly patting Regina’s head, and her smile grew wider. While Janis was as taught as a bowstring, Regina was more relaxed than ever as she breathed in the woodsy cologne Janis was wearing.

That’s when it hit her—a blow that knocked her over almost as violently as the bus had. Her hand on Janis’ hip started trembling, her pulse thundering in her ears over the thrum of the music.

“Oh my fucking god…” she thought, “I’m in love with Janis ‘Imi’ike.”

Chapter Text

They had once been friends. That was known. They had kissed during spin the bottle. That was also known. What wasn’t known was that the game that night hadn’t been the first time they had kissed—not by a long shot.

They were having a playdate in Regina’s bedroom like they had countless times before. They were playing house. Regina made Janis play the dad, but she didn’t mind. As long as they were playing together, Janis was happy. Regina always played the mom, and they had two babies: two of Regina’s dolls that looked somewhat similar to the duo. They had just sent them off to “daycare”, which was the little pink mat in front of the toy box.

They were eight. Regina was the one who suggested it.

“We should practice,” she said with a wide grin, turning to her friend. “For when we’re grown up and have real husbands!”

“Practice?” Janis asked, confused. Her eyebrows drew together.

“Y’know, kissing!” Regina responded enthusiastically.

“Kissing? On the mouth?” Janis asked, practically whispering the last part. She looked over her shoulder like she was scared someone was spying on them despite being the only two in the sprawling bedroom.

“Yeah!” Regina replied, taking Janis’ hands and hopping excitedly. “C’mon, Jay! It’ll be fun!”

Janis furtively glanced around once more, checking for parents. Then she turned back to Regina, smiling shyly. Regina gave her a smile back.

“Okay,” Janis agreed, taking a step toward her friend and awkwardly placing her hands on her hips. She pecked her lips for just barely a millisecond, and Regina giggled as she pulled away. Janis looked down at her toes abashedly.

“See?” Regina asked, smiling widely, “Fun!”

“Yeah…” Janis echoed. “Fun.”

Chapter Text

They kept “practicing” kissing for several years, but as they got older and understood more about what was going on, they stopped. Janis came out, and that made kissing too real. Except there was one thing Janis didn’t know. When Regina had put a pin on her own plushy in response to Janis’, she hadn’t put it on out of allyship.

They were at a party. It was the party of the year, and Regina had practically dragged Janis along with her. So there they were, Regina excitedly mingling and Janis standing in a corner with her arms folded across her chest.

Regina looked over, her eyes landing on Janis for the millionth time that night. Finally, she walked over to confront her with a sigh. She hadn’t struggled with her friend for an hour just for Janis to stand there and be antisocial, but she knew her friend. She’d have to give her a pep talk for her to feel ready to be around anyone. She’d have to take her somewhere more quiet for her to open up enough that Regina could win her over. So, she grabbed Janis by the elbow and pulled her along to somewhere she could do just that.

“Hey!” Janis yelped, but she didn’t protest as Regina pulled her down the hallway and into the bathroom. Regina shut and locked the door behind them. Then, she promptly sat down on the edge of the bathtub and pulled Janis down next to her.

“What’s going on?” she asked, “You’ve barely said a word to anyone all night.”

Janis sighed and looked down at her scuffed shoes.

“I just… I don’t like crowds,” she replied despondently.

“I know you don’t, but it’s not like people hate you,” she replied. “You won’t be shunned or something.”

Janis shook her head.

“Don’t jump to assume that. People like you, but that doesn’t mean they like me. Haven’t you looked around? People whisper when we hang out nowadays. Not in a good way. They’re wondering why a loser like me is hanging out with you,” she muttered, her voice hushed.

“Hey,” Regina said, taking both of Janis’ cheeks in her hands and tilting her face toward her, “You’re not a loser. And anyone who calls you that has me to answer to.”

It was a legitimate threat. People didn’t want to piss Regina off. Even in middle school, Regina George was not a person that people wanted to be on the bad side of. Janis smiled softly at her.

“You’re my best friend,” she said quietly.

“You’re my best friend too, Jay,” Regina responded without hesitation.

Janis swallowed. Her eyes were locked onto Regina’s like she was trying to see into her very soul. Then her gaze dipped down to Regina’s lips. It flicked back up to her eyes a moment later. Regina’s breath hitched. She parted her lips to say something, but Janis leaned in and pressed her mouth softly to Regina’s before she could get a word out.

Regina felt her heart jump into her throat, her pulse pounding in her ears. She was still cupping Janis’ cheeks, and after a shocked second, she kissed her back. It was gentle and sweet. Still, she was breathless as Janis pulled away shortly after, leaving Regina craving more.

She’d been hoping, dreaming, fantasizing that Janis would do something like this ever since she’d put that pin on her plushie. She’d started to give up hope that Janis was interested in her at all. Now, she sat there on the edge of the tub, shocked speechless. Her mouth gaped, all words escaping her. Then, Janis said the most painful words Regina thought she could’ve possibly heard in that moment.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, you know.”

Regina felt her heart shatter into a million pieces on the tile floor. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.” So, that’s how it was. Janis didn’t care about Regina. This was all just practice for her. It still didn’t mean anything. After all this time—after kissing her, after making Regina fall for her!—Regina was still just her best friend and nothing more. Just the girl she “practiced” kissing with.

Well.

That’s not what happens to Regina George. She doesn’t get led on or messed around with. She doesn’t get her heart broken. And she doesn’t let it slide when someone plays with her emotions.

Regina vaulted to her feet and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut in Janis’ face. She heard it click open a moment later. Janis called out her name desperately, but she ignored it, pretending she couldn’t hear her over the bustle of the party.

She pointedly ignored Janis for the rest of the evening, moving away every time she saw her trying to come closer. As the night stretched on, she saw Janis getting increasingly desperate to get her attention.

Good. Let her try. She’d already lost her chance.

Just as the party was starting to die down, Kyle spoke up and suggested a game of spin the bottle. The remaining partygoers quickly rallied and sat down in a loose circle, an empty bottle placed on the ground in the center of the ring. Most of the kids were fidgeting, either from nervousness or excitement. Giddy giggles broke out among the group every few minutes as Kyle explained the rules excruciatingly slowly.

“Oh my god, Kyle, we know,” Regina interrupted after a few minutes of him blabbering on, getting increasingly annoyed. “It’s not hard. You spin, you kiss, you move on.”

Kyle cleared his throat, laughing nervously and looking for the whole group like a scolded dog. There were a few snickers from the crowd.

“Right,” he said, sitting down at the remaining open space. “Who’s first?”

Karen volunteered, and the bottle landed on Kyle. His friends hooted and clapped him on the back. Regina didn’t like that reaction. One corner of her lips ticked down. People had started the rumor that Regina was crushing on Kyle. He was fairly popular himself; so she knew she could leverage that to win her way up another rung of the social ladder.

So, she encouraged the rumors despite having zero interest in the guy. If people started thinking he was into Karen, Regina would seem like a desperate, friend-zoned loser. The thought reminded her of her current situation with Janis. She gritted her teeth slightly. That wasn’t going to happen again.

So, she started concocting a plan. She’d put on a show with whoever the bottle landed on. That was sure to get Kyle’s eyes off Karen and back on her. It didn’t really matter who it landed on as long as she could win back Kyle’s attention.

Finally, Regina’s turn came, and she spun the bottle. She was barely paying attention to the light glinting off it until it came to a stop, and she froze.

It was pointing directly at Janis.

Then, the cogs of her brain started moving again, and she realized she could use this to her advantage to kill two birds with one stone. A malicious glee lit up behind her eyes.

Regina smirked at Janis, both seductive and dangerous at the same time as she crawled across the floor on her hands and knees toward Janis. She could see a blush creeping across her cheeks and down her neck as Regina closed in on her.

She bracketed her hands on either sides of her hips. She stretched her body out across Janis’, and leaned in. Their lips connected. This time, she kissed her slowly, making it linger. She could feel everyone’s eyes on them, especially the boys’, as she pulled away.

“I knew she’d let me,” she smugly announced to the room, forcing away the butterflies in her stomach as she landed the killing blow, “She’s, like, obsessed with me!”

A chorus of cruel laughter echoed through the room like thunder. Regina’s eyes lit up in triumph even as her heart felt like it was being enclosed in stone.

Chapter Text

The Spring Fling was long done, and Regina had been mulling over the realization she’d come to for a few weeks now. Her mother was taking her on a trip to Paris at the start of next week for the rest of the time before next semester started, which meant Regina was running out of time. So, she decided to do something she never thought she’d do again.

Regina paced her room, uncharacteristically nervous. She had been debating about this for weeks, and she had come to her conclusion. She was going to ask out Janis. Who cared if she was a lesbo? She didn’t. At least, that was what she was telling herself.

She was still too popular for people to really judge her too much for being gay, and besides, it was so not cool to be homophobic in this day and age. It might have been socially acceptable back when they were kids, but it was 2024 now. The general mood toward that sort of thing had changed. It would be fine. So why was she still so unsure of herself?

She checked her outfit in the mirror for the billionth time that afternoon. The sun shone though the window, making her hair seem illuminated like fire in her mirror. She was wearing the cutest outfit she could put together. Her shirt was tight and hot pink, inevitably drawing the eye to her ever-impressive cleavage. She fussed with the hem of her slightly too short skirt, trying to smooth out what was already wrinkle-free. She huffed and spun away from the mirror again.

“Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me?” she muttered to herself, clenching her fists at her sides.

She just needed to suck it up and get it over with. It’s not like there was any chance that she’d get turned down. She was Regina George after all, and despite their past together, there was no way that anyone could resist her charms. Not even Janis ‘Imi’ike.

She squared her shoulders. That was it. She was done stalling. Her name was Regina goddamn George, and she wasn’t about to let herself get psyched out. She was better than that.

With a deep breath, she strode out of the room, headed for her car. She was going to Janis’ house. Thankfully, she still remembered the directions despite all the time that had passed. Janis hadn’t moved since they were kids, and she’d gone over to her house enough times that she knew the way by muscle memory.

One drive to the cheaper part of town later, Regina stepped out of her car and stood at the driveway of the ‘Imi’ike house. It looked exactly the way it used to, right down to the same flowers in the front garden and the same beat-up, old rocking chair beside the door.

She took a breath and walked up to the pathway. This was it. She was really about to do this—about to tell Janis not only that she was queer but also that she was into her. It terrified her, but Regina wasn’t about to admit that to herself or anyone else. So, instead, she steadied her shaky hands, reached out, and pressed the doorbell.

As she waited, she idly thought about the ways Janis might react. She expected her to be surprised. Maybe she’d be a little confused and suspicious at first. Still, she’d come around. Regina was sure of it. She hoped that Janis would be the one to open the door and not one of her parents. That might make things a little harder, but she knew she’d still be able to play it well.

A minute later, the door swung open to reveal Janis. Regina let out a slight mental sigh of relief. Meanwhile, Janis’ eyes went through a whole gamut of emotions. First, she registered surprise, then confusion, then exasperation, and finally, simple anger. She started to slam the door in Regina’s face, but, far from resigning, Regina planted her hand firmly on the door to hold it open.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Janis asked sharply, still trying to jerk the door closed for a minute before finally relenting and letting go. She sighed deeply, her features pinched as she watched Regina warily.

“I’m delivering your mail; I’ve got a package for you,” Regina deadpanned, rolling her eyes. “I needed to talk to you, dipshit.”

Janis’ eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Look, I’m not about to just sit here and let you insult me outside my own goddamn house. What do you want?” she asked, not leaving room for Regina to stall anymore.

That was fine by her. She needed to get this over with before she got cold feet anyway. She’d already considered leaving despite barely having said two words to Janis. She could always just say something cruel and leave. She’d never gone directly to Janis’ house to bully her before, but it wasn’t that far out of the realm of plausibility.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Regina started, popping her hip out to bring attention to her curves. “I’ve been thinking about things.”

“What kinds of things?” Janis asked, raising an eyebrow.

“The Spring Fling, that party at Kyle’s place way back when, lots of…things,” she replied enigmatically. Janis just stared blankly back at her.

“What do you want, Regina?” she repeated more firmly.

“I want to talk about us,” Regina finally said, looking at Janis through lowered lashes. She twirled a lock of blonde hair around the tip of her finger, playing all the tricks she usually used on boys she was manipulating to her needs.

“Us?” Janis echoed. “There is no ‘us’.”

“There could be,” Regina countered, reaching out and running her knuckles gently along Janis’ jawline. It was a move that usually had the boys’ knees going weak, but Janis yanked away, looking at Regina’s hand like it had burned her.

“What are you talking about?” Janis asked, her voice harsh and unyielding.

Regina hesitated for a moment, her resolve and confidence slowly beginning to whither underneath Janis’ cold gaze.

“I…” she started, trailing off. She’d never felt this kind of nervousness when she was coming on to someone before. Then again, most people would’ve already thrown themselves at her by now. “I just thought- With the Spring Fling and all…”

Janis was just staring at her, her mouth set in a fine line.

“I was being nice, Regina. I forgive you, and I’m sorry for what happened. But if you’re saying what I think you are, you’re way off track,” she told her plainly.

For the second time in her life, Regina felt her heart utterly crushed by the girl in front of her.

“You…” she began again, her voice wavering slightly.

“I think you should go, Regina,” Janis said firmly.

Regina felt her throat tighten uncomfortably. Unable to say anything else, she nodded shakily, clenching her jaw to bite back the lump in her throat. Slowly, she walked back to her car with her back held as stiff as a pole. She refused to cry despite the tears already threatening to brim over, pricking hotly at the corners of her eyes.

She had been so convinced that things would go right. Those doubts weren’t supposed to be real. Regina didn’t get turned down—never had—and yet that was exactly what had just happened.

As she got in her car, she gave one last glance back toward the house as Janis firmly closed the door shut behind her. Regina took a deep breath and turned on the engine. As she pulled out of the ‘Imi’ike’s driveway, Regina left behind the silly notion of “love” that she had imagined at the dance, and along with it, she left behind any notion of ever coming out as well.