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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Zach: 4 & Dinah: 6

Jack and Ty had made the first mistake of not immediately breaking down the new fridge box the second they left it in the garage. Dinah pulled it into the backyard and then went to Uncle Owen and Uncle Luke’s to see if Zachy could play. The next mistake was Luke saying he could. 

“I have the best idea for a new game!” Dinah excitedly said, pulling her younger cousin by the arm through the big shared backyard. “All you need to do is lay in the box!” 

Zach scrambled into the box, he liked being included by his big cousins, they’d never do anything to hurt him. He got a little nervous when he heard the sliding door shut, but Dinah wouldn’t leave him outside alone. He relaxed when he heard Dani and Dayna come outside with Dinah, Dani complaining that Dinah stole her book and was holding it hostage. 

And then Dinah started by clearing her throat. “Dearly beloved. It was three whole days ago when our dear young Zachary was diagnosed with Dumb Brain by the brilliant Doctor Addi, who could not be here today because her mom said she had to clean her room. But she sends her condolences. As we all know, Dumb Brain is fatal and clearly this case was more advanced than even Doctor Addi thought. Please bow your head in prayer.” 

“DINAH NAOMI YOUR COUSIN BETTER NOT BE IN THAT BOX!” Jack’s voice came down from the heavens - or the deck - as he stepped out onto it. 

“Daddy, this is a funeral, you need to be respectful,” Dinah said, not looking up from her feet. “You can’t just put the body on the ground, we’re by a lake, it’ll never decompose.” 

“Oh my god,” Jack muttered to himself before coming down the stairs. “Girls, go back inside, Dinah, give your sister her book back,” Jack opened the box to see Zach with his eyes closed, thumb firmly in his mouth. 

“Daddy will now say a few words about the dead.” 

“Go inside,” Jack said sternly. “Zach, you okay, buddy?” 

Zach whispered around his thumb that he was supposed to be dead and couldn’t talk. But opened his eyes when Jack picked him up. 

“You’re not supposed to body snatch until he’s buried!” Dinah yelled from the deck. 

“Where did she even learn that?” Jack muttered as he took Zach back over to Owen and Luke’s house. Turning his attention to Zach, “New rule, if Dinah tells you to get in a box, don’t get in that box.” 

Zach nodded before requesting to be put down so he could go inside. 

“Lukey, we have a new rule, Zach can tell you all about why.” 

Zach: 7 & Addi: 9

The four houses that make up the Hughes-Zegras cul-de-sac sat at the top of, in Zach’s opinion, the biggest hill in all of Michigan. And he was gonna snowboard down it.

“What are you doing?” Addi asked, wandering out from her parent’s house and seeing Zach with a trash can lid.

“Snowboarding!” Zach grinned back, brandishing the lid.

Addi decided to skip right past it being June and therefore there was no snow to ask, “Do you even know how to snowboard?”

“It can’t be that hard!” Zach replied, “Uncle Brendan can do it!”

Addi just blinked at him and waited for him to pick up on the no snow part. When he kept walking toward the start of the hill, she stopped him again, “What is wrong with you? There’s no snow! You’re gonna die and Dinah’s gonna have to plan your real funeral.”

“Well, a well-known doctor, who I heard is the best in the business, diagnosed me with Dumb Brain four years ago,” Zach grinned, “It’s not my fault.”

Addi glared and then pulled out her last ditch attempt to get him not do it, “Don’t make me get your dad.”

“You wouldn’t tattle! That’s against the Kid Code!”

“Watch me.”

He groaned and dragged himself and the trashcan lid back home.

Zach: 12 & Dani: 14

Dani was just trying to get to her spot before she started crying. She slipped in Aunt Quinn’s back door, and up the stairs to the attic ladder. She got in unnoticed and was ready to sit in her little nest of hoodies when she heard a noise. 

“Whatcha doing?” Zach asked from her spot. 

“What are you doing?” Dani shot back. 

“Chilling, playing hide and seek with Asher.” 

“Get out of my spot.” 

“Are you playing too?” Zach’s face lit up. 

“No.” Dani said, “Get out of my spot, I’m hiding from my sisters.” 

“So you are playing? Just not with us.” 

“It’s not hide and seek when all they’ve done is make me upset today because they think it’s funny!” 

Zach was up in an instant to hug her and to gently push her into her nest of things. 

“You stay here, I’m getting Aunt Quinn and a snack for you, no one else will know you’re up here, promise.” 

Dani can’t help the tears that start, “This is why you’re my favorite cousin.” 

Zach’s face lights up at hearing that, “I’m telling Sam you said that!” 

Dani wiped her eyes and rolled them as he slowly made his way down the ladder, calling for Aunt Quinn as he went. 

Zach: 17 & Sam: 19

“What do you mean ‘they’re gone’!” Aunt Quinn’s voice carried throughout the cul-de-sac, “You told me you dropped them off and moved them into their Sophomore dorm room!”

“I did!” Owen replied, “But they’re not there anymore and I had nothing to do with it!”

“Where are they?”

“I don’t know!” Owen replied, “But Sam’s car is not in the dorm parking lot, the RA said that the dorm room had been empty for three weeks, and the Admin office showed no active classes for either of them.”

“Guys!” Luke ran out of the house, “I think I found them!”

“You think or you know?!” Quinn replied, voice low and dangerous, “Because my baby is not where he is supposed to be and if someone doesn’t tell me where he is, I will -”

“They’re in New York,” Luke cut her off, “Chinatown to be specific. Miller saw them and sent me a DM with a picture. And, yeah, it was them.”

“Why are they in New York and why didn’t MY former teammate tell YOU and not ME?”

“Probably because he knows you’re terrifying everyone right now?”

Quinn screamed in frustration and stormed into her house. 

Zach snorted to himself and pulled out his phone.

“Yo,” Sam greeted, answering the call.

“I hope you’re ready because Aunt Quinn and dads know what you and Asher did,” Zach told him, “And where you are. Miller told Dad. And you guys are toast. Expect Aunt Quinn at any minute.”

“Jesus,” Sam hissed, “I thought we had a little more time.”

“Nope,” Zach shook his head, “Do you guys have an apartment at least?”

“In a way.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that if Aunt Quinn saw it, she might die.”

“Dude.”

“Just. Tell dads and Aunt Quinn that we’re okay.”

“I’m not telling Aunt Quinn anything right now. She might think I knew.”

“You did know.”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you called me when you crossed into Pennsylvania. And I don’t want her to know. You’re not taking me down with you. I will lie and throw you under the bus.”

“Try to hold her off -”

“I will not be doing that.”

“Zach -”

“Talk to you later.”

Zach shook his head as he hung up the phone and then went downstairs to play dumb and ask his parents if they knew where Asher and Sam were yet.

Zach: 18 & Elena: 22

“So like, how much is he paying you?” Zach said, flopping down in the chair opposite Elena’s. 

“Who?” Elena said, not looking up from carefully dissecting a pastry. 

“My brother. There’s no way you’d actually go for him. So either, this is an elaborate scheme of his or he’s painfully single and in an attempt to get dads to stay off his back, he’s hiring his friends who happen to be girls to be his girlfriend.” 

“Or I do actually really like him and we’re dating.” Elena said, now looking up. 

“Shocking.” Zach said, surprise bleeding into his voice. 

“Get used to it. He’s a great boyfriend too, really good in bed.”

Zach jumped back up at the last comment. “I didn’t need to know that and wanted absolutely zero details. Thanks.” 

“You brought it up,” Elena yelled after him, smiling when Sam came to sit down next to her, coffees in hand. 

“Did he ask how much you’re being paid,” Sam asked. 

Elena nodded. 

“This morning he asked how much of my budget goes to fake dating girls when we have visitors. He’s a goddamn menace.” 

“He’s just a little slow on the uptake,” Elena said. “He’ll get there.” 

“Doubtful. But it’s good that one of us has faith in him.” 

Zach: 20 & Iain: 8

Iain was the best Empty Nest Panic Syndrome the family could ask for. The girls weren’t even with their respective teams two weeks before Jack and Ty adopted Iain and Zach was happy to have someone not Mo to hang out with. And Zach really enjoyed watching Iain come out of his shell and they chilled whenever Jack brought him to the rink.

“Hey,” Jack popped his head over the railing, “I have about a four hour block of meetings to get ready for tournament season. Can Iain chill at the desk with you?”

“Sure,” Zach replied, smiling as Iain bounded down the stairs and if they could play tag.

“Go,” Owen chuckled, “I think I can hold down the fort.”

Zach grinned and yelled, “You’re it!” before taking off running, Iain not too far behind.

Zach: 20, Madi: 23, Phe: 25, & Asher: 22

Zach was confused. Asher did not have a good track record with girls, but here he is, with two of them. One of them a certified Broadway star. And the other, Madison Parayko. 

“Is he at least paying you?” He asked one morning. 

“Didn’t you already ask Elena this,” Asher whined from his spot on the floor. 

“Shut up,” Zach said. “What’s the going rate for blackmail these days?” 

“Good coffee skills,” Madi said at the same time Phe said “Great skills in bed.” 

“Why is it always sex things?” Zach wondered. 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Madi asked innocently. “He’s a great guy, are you just mad you’re still single?” 

Zach pouted for a second before rolling his eyes and trying to scoot his chair back into Asher. 

“This is why your dads stopped at you, they knew you were mean.” Asher said, rubbing his thigh.

“What my dads did and what Uncle Jack and Uncle Ty did are very different things. And shouldn’t be compared.” Zach huffed. 

He then ignored all three of them sharing a look, he doesn’t need to be involved in their weird throuple telepathy. That’s just gross. 

“Asher, did you remember to pick up dog food,” Phe asked as she was going towards the pantry. 

“I think so, but I can’t remember if I put it in the container yet,” He said, shoving Zach’s foot away from his face. 

Zach grabbed his jacket from the chair, “I’m going to bother Sam and Elena, please don’t fuck on the counter. I have more questions for when I get back.” 

Zach: 20 & Asher: 22

Zach could get used to Phe’s penthouse apartment - bought in full by her parents. It was two floors, massive, had a mean little dog, about a twenty minute subway ride to Sam and Elena’s, and had the comfy couch known to man. Which is where he planted himself when the group of them stumbled into the apartment.

“I’m making more drinks!” Madi called, heading to the drink cart.

“No, you’re not,” Phe replied, “you have a meeting with the music director for that summer camp in the morning and I won’t let you go hungover.”

Madi groaned and took the water Phe handed to her, the girls going into the other tv room, Asher and Sam flopping down on either side of him and throwing on Dayna’s game on the big tv.

“So, you’re still single, right?” Asher asked, “Like, you didn’t have something you wanted to tell us?”

Zach glared at him.

Asher laughed and Sam grinned, “You poked at our relationships, we’re allowed to poke back, baby bro.”

Zach groaned, focusing on the tv right as Dayna shoved some poor kid out of her crease, “Yes, I’m single. Ish. It’s complicated.”

“How is it complicated?”

“It’s just complicated.”

“Why? She’s not, like, in high school, right?”

“No!” Zach replied, looking offended, “We just…. Haven’t defined the relationship.”

“You like her though?” Asher asked, smiling softly.

“A lot.”

“Good.” 

“That’s it? No more prying?”

“Nope,” Asher grinned.

“Unlike you, we take answers at face value.” Sam smirked.

“You think Dayna’s gonna actually fight someone tonight?” Asher asked, changing the subject.

“It looks like she’s trying to,” Sam laughed.

Zach laughed as Dayna tried to join the scrum happening only for Luka to pull her back from it.

Zach: 22 & Abby: 21

Abby cornered him, and he’s not proud as to how it happened. He was walking down the hall from the bathroom back to the front desk and boom. Right into an unused conference room. 

“You have a girlfriend,” Abby said, eyebrows set. 

“You already knew this, Asher told you.” 

“I know who she is, though.” 

Zach paled. They had been so careful to not be couple-y where people could see them. 

“Are you spying on me?” Zach asked. 

“No, but I have people for that shit. I have better things to do.” Abby scoffed. “Anyways, it’s Jen, right. Aunt Thom’s goalie who just graduated. She’s pretty. Good job.” 

“Thanks?” Zach was confused and there was no hiding that from Abby. 

“I won’t share my source in case I need other things from them. But you can go now.” And she left the room. 

“The fuck just happened?” Zach asked himself as he slowly walked back to the desk to relieve his dad of having to handle upset parents regarding a rink being too warm and therefore unusable. He pulled his phone out to let Jen know. Just in case Abby got any ideas and texted her welcoming her to the family or something else crazy. 

Zach: 22 & Phe: 27

Zach woke up to his family group chat blowing up so much that his phone vibrated itself off of the nightstand and onto the floor. He groaned and reached down for it, Jen chuckling next to him.

“Do you know what’s going on?” he asked her, sitting up and getting himself situated before opening his messages.

“I’m not in your family chat yet,” Jen replied, “Dinah said I need to pass the five trials first.”

“Dinah’s a lunatic,” Zach muttered, putting his glasses on and opening the messages. He grinned immediately upon scrolling up, “Phe and Madi had their babies.”

“Both of them?” Jen asked, “I thought Madi wasn’t due for another week.”

“Phe went first, Madi an hour after,” Zach replied, reading through the texts, “Madi had a boy, looks just like Asher, poor kid. Phe had a girl.”

“Cute,” Jen grinned.

To Phe: Congrats on the baby! She looks nothing like Asher! You should be thrilled!

From Phe: We dodged a bullet there!

Zach: 23, Benji: 25, & Levi: 9

Zach won’t lie. He loves getting to hang out with his cousin-nephew. And getting to sit in the family suite at Wings games does make it even better. 

“Don’t let him have too much sugar, it is a school night,” Aunt Quinn was telling him things he already knew.”

“I know, we’ll be good this time.” Zach said, sticking a hand out to fist bump Levi. 

Quinn rolled her eyes but sent the boys out to the car so she could finish her paperwork. 

“The only thing we have to actually listen to is no soda, it’s a rule from your parents, bud.” Zach said, looking in the rearview mirror to back out of his assigned spot. 

Levi thankfully hasn’t grown out of wanting to be at Little Caesars before warm ups, so once they parked, Zach let him run ahead up until they got to the doors. Zach got the tickets scanned in and Levi ran to the escalator to take them up to the suites. 

Waving at the few wives he knew, he let Levi drag him down to the glass to watch his dad warm up. Levi only gave him a small dirty look when he headed to the opposition's side to wave at Dayna. Dayna glared at him which was all he needed from her. And by the time he got back, Levi had his puck and he was ready to go eat his weight in hot dogs and arena nachos. Zach reminded him he needed to drink something other than soda and the reaction clearly told him Levi was hoping he’d forgotten about that in the hour or so it had been. 

“Your dad’s scoring tonight, right,” Zach asked. “Since his good luck charm is here and all.” 

“Yep! And he loves scoring on Aunt Dayna, she gets so mad at him.” Levi grinned from his seat. “I hope she says more words that I can put in the swear jar.” 

“You know a swear jar is for money when people swear, not the words themselves, right?” 

“We have both. Sometimes dad lets me pull a word out so I can yell it when I’m upset.” 

“That’s actually a really good idea.” Zach would be stealing that when he had kids. 

The rest of the conversation was drowned out by the PA announcer coming over the speakers to announce the starting lineup. 

Zach: 27 & Finn: 28

“You gonna tell me why you’re dragging me to the mall this close to the Holidays?” Zach asked. Finn gave him no details, just told him he was picking him up at ten.

“I’m proposing to Brittany -”

“It’s about time,” Zach muttered, ignoring Finn glaring at him from the driver’s seat.

“And I need help picking out the ring,” Finn finished as if he hadn’t been interrupted.

“And you think I’m the person who can help you?” Zach replied.

“You did okay picking out Jen’s ring.”

“She picked it out, I just paid for it.”

“Just tell me if it’s too gaudy or not.”

“I think I can do that.”

“This is gonna be a mistake,” Finn muttered, “Should have just gone to Philly and taken Anna.”

“What’s Brit doing while we’re doing this? And what does she think you’re doing?”

“She’s hanging out with my mom and thinks I’m going to Lego store and making fun of you”

“Just for that comment, we will be going to the Lego store and you will be buying me a set of my choosing.”

Finn ignored him and kept driving, also ignoring the way Zach gripped his door handle when Finn took a turn a little too sharply.

“Twelve years later and you still can’t fucking drive.”

“Shut up or I’m buying you a pretzel.”

“You weren’t going to buy me a pretzel in the first place.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You’re the worst friend ever.”

Finn pulled into a parking spot at a half-hazard speed only warranted because it was the mall in December and turned the car off, “The Zales counter won’t take long.”

“That’s what Maggie said when she dragged me to find the ring for Abby and we were in and out of jewelry stores for three hours only to wind up back at the first one.”

“If it’s more than that, I promise you that I will buy you pretzels between each one.”

“I guess that’s fair.”

They made their way through the mall, Zach kindly just complaining a little bit that Finn picked the entrance on the other side of the mall from Zales, and Finn beamed when he pointed out the ring he wanted to get Brittany. Simple, classic, emerald cut, looked pretty similar to Jakey’s ring - which Brittany always loved.

“You think she’ll like it?”

“Yeah,” Zach nodded, “Can we go to the Lego store now?”

Finn rolled his eyes and waited for an attendant to come over so he could purchase the ring.

“Go get a pretzel,” Finn pulled out five bucks, “I’ll meet you over there in five minutes.”

Zach happily took the money and followed his nose to the food court.

Zach: 28, Dayna: 30, & James: 45

Dayna was twitchy. And not goalie who just let in a few too many goals twitchy. This was different and Zach can’t say he liked seeing her like this. 

“I just need you all to promise me something. Or two things.” Dayna started, pacing in front of the TV. “One. Asher: do not, under any circumstances, provoke Abby at any point during the ceremony or the reception. Two. Can we be on our best behavior? At least until the magazine cameras leave? They won’t be there the entire night, but I don’t need anybody doing anything weird or making faces in People Magazine.” 

“Question,” Benji raised a hand. “Why isn’t Dani here too?” 

“Because she has manners and can behave.” 

A murmur went through the cousins. Yeah, she had a point there. 

“So no icing everyone mid-reception,” Sam asked. 

“No. Anyways, if anyone is going to do that, it’ll be me,” Dayna said, making a mental note about that. 

“What about if Abby provokes me instead?” 

“Asher. That has never happened a day in our collective lives. And it sure as hell won’t be now.” 

“IT COULD.” 

“Drop it.” 

“I’m guessing we’re not allowed to bring up the age gap,” Sam asked. 

“Absolutely not. It’s a fine age gap, we met as adults and we’re getting married as adults. Nothing sketchy here.” Dayna was so sick of having people fret over the age gap and when they met. It’s perfectly fine. 

“So, everyone repeat back to me what the rules are?” Dayna listened as her family repeated the rules, with extra emphasis on being on their best behavior at least part of the night. 

“Dani is being told these rules too, right,” Dinah asked as everyone cleared out of the living room. 

“She is, she just didn’t need to have them drilled into her thick skull like the rest of you idiots did.” 

“Most of them are idiots because they love you,” Dinah said, pulling her sister into a hug. “Me included. But we’ll be good for one night. Or part of one night. The second you start doing shots is the second chaos is allowed to reign.” 

Dayna laughed, telling her sister that would be fair. She’d stick to champagne until then. 

Zach: 29 & Anna: 33:

“The walls cannot be green, the carpet is purple,” Anna’s voice was already exasperated. Aunt Quinn had tasked her and Zach with coming up with the plan for the revamp of the rink, starting with the lobby, and Zach’s lack of color sense was on full display.

“But it’s a pretty green,” Zach replied.

“I will not have the lobby looking like Barney the dinosaur!”

“Fine,” Zach pouted, “What color do you want, oh great one?”

“I was thinking a warm cream color or a very light blue,” Anna replied, showing him the paint samples in the book Quinn had picked up.

Zach didn’t see anything wrong with those options, liked them even, but he was feeling petulant so he wasn’t gonna let know that, “What about orange?”

Anna looked at him like he was out of his mind.

“So that’s a no?” he asked after a couple beats of her looking at him like that.

“A big no,” Anna replied, “just pick between the two colors I already picked.”

“Flip a coin.”

“Do you have a coin?”

“Why would I have a coin?”

“You’re so useless,” Anna rolled her eyes, “We’re going with the blue. Your new desk will be the cream color.”

“I’m getting a new desk?” Anna walked away without answer and he yelled louder, “I’m getting a new desk? I never signed off on a new desk! I like this desk! Anna! Anna, stop ignoring me!”

Zach: 32 & Robert: 32

There was really no reason for Zach to even be there. But he was being a good cousin in law and was actually kind of interested in hearing about what Robert does most of the year. 

“Now, I think everyone in this room has probably had a race against friends to see who can wrap another friend in toilet paper the fastest? Well, I need a volunteer to help me do just about that.” Robert said from the stage. 

Zach’s hand shot up. Maybe there was something that happened in his brain all those times Dinah made him play a dead body. 

Robert was slightly relieved that it was someone he knew and not a random college student as Zach bounded up the stairs. 

“First we start with the trunk of the body, traditionally allowing the body to have dried out for 72 days and removing all the organs but the heart. We can’t do that here so we’ll just have to pretend.” 

Robert got to work wrapping, making sure it wasn’t too tight but was tight enough that it wouldn’t just immediately fall off of Zach’s body. 

“And then once the trunk is done, we move on to the extremities. Zachary, please cross your arms over your chest. Not like that. In an X shape.” 

Zach did what he was told and by the time Robert was done, he had toilet paper in his mouth and up his nose but he wouldn’t change it for the world. 

“You are taking that off before we leave, right,” Jen asked as he made his way back to their seats.

“I hadn’t planned on it, we took the head pieces off, it’s fine.” 

“You look like an idiot. It’s March and you look like a frat bro who half-assed a Halloween costume to get into a bar.”

“I’ll take it off before we leave.” 

“Thank you, honey.” 

Zach: 38, Maggie: 37, & Abby: 37

Abby and Balto - Abby’s newest husky puppy - had arrived promptly that morning at 8am, went right up to Abby’s office to start planning camps - Zach doesn’t know why the Husky gets credit for helping plan the camps but whatever, Zach had a front desk to run. 

He looked up a couple hours later and his eyes widened, immediately jumping out of his chair and sending it rolling several feet away, he scrambled and locked the locked the doors before Maggie and the three other dogs - a lab, a pittie, and a newfie who liked to chew up Zach’s left shoe - could get through the door.

“Zach!” Maggie snapped, “Open the door!”

“No dogs allowed, Margaret!”

“Balto is there!”

“Balto is a service dog and also I like him!”

“Seriously!?”

“He’s nice and doesn’t try to destroy my lobby!”

“Whatever, Mr. Mosby,” Maggie rolled her eyes, “Just let us in and we’ll go right up to Abby’s office.”

“Liar.”

“Don’t make me call Abby.”

“I’m not afraid of Abby.”

“Everyone is afraid of Abby!”

Zach won’t admit that she has a point.

“Come on, Zach,” Maggie stomped her foot and all three dogs started barking, which was not helping their case.

“No.”

In Zach’s muttering, he accidentally mentioned the back door and Maggie’s eyes widened and she and the pack took off toward the back door and Zach groaned.

Three minutes later, three dogs came running through the lobby and up the stairs to the offices, Maggie following and sticking her tongue out at Zach.

Zach: 46 & Mo: 40

“I need to ask a favor from you,” Mo started the call with, which, as he’s learned from Abby, that’s never a good thing. 

“Depends on what it is, how much of my already limited weekend hours it’s going to take up, and if it requires death-defying stunts or not,” Zach replied, already pulling up his calendar. 

“I was literally just about to ask you to read the first chapter of my new book,” Mo said. 

“Oh! I can do that, definitely. That’s no big deal.” 

“Thanks, I’ll send it over! It’s not too long, just an introduction to everything. Just let me know when you’ve read it so I can get some answers about a few things.” 

It took Zach a few days to get around to it. But when he did, he was sad there was only one chapter of it. 

“Mo-Mo, it was so good!” He said when she picked up the call. “And I’m not a non-fiction guy at all!” 

“Good so the general populace can read it and not be confused.” Mo sounded excited. 

“Was I your guinea pig?” 

There was a long pause on the other end of the call. “Maybe. But it was for a good reason! I just knew if you didn’t understand anything, you’d stop but also tell me exactly where you got confused. But you didn’t so therefore I can keep writing the way I had been. It was something my publisher wanted me to do.” 

“And for you not to tell me I was being used for my lack of brain, how dare you, Moriah.” 

“You’re always the one going on and on about how Addi diagnosed you with Dumb Brain when you were a toddler.” 

“Yeah, but that’s not the point here and now. I’m an adult with children.” 

“Didn’t you leave Robert’s lecture still wrapped as a mummy?” 

“Yes,” Zach sniffed, “But it was warm and those auditoriums are always cold.” 

“Okayyyy. I’ll send you a gift card for your troubles, thanks again.” 

“Bye, Mo-Mo.” 

“Stop calling me that. Bye.” 

Chapter Text

Sid: 41 & Elena: Mere Hours Old

Sid dutifully drove to New Jersey to meet G’s precious little niece. And his too he guesses, He and Nolan have had some moments. Nolan had texted when she felt ready for them knowing they had a few more hours of family time before the Cheesbys showed up. 

“Oh, Nolan. She’s perfect,” Marie said, stepping into the room and looking into the bassinet next to Nolan. 

“She is, isn’t she.” Nolan beamed. 

Sid clapped Nico on the shoulder and told him congrats. 

“Wanna hold her, nana,” He heard Nolan ask. Which she knew the answer to already, of course Marie would want to hold Elena. 

G gently took her out of the bassinet and sat down in the arm chair, adjusting her so she’d stay sleeping. Sid’s known that Marie's missed having a baby, Henri was coming up on his second birthday and boy was that something he didn’t want to think about either. When Elena was passed to him, he gratefully took his time holding her and listening to Nico and Nolan chat with Marie about how everything had been. And he kind of missed her when he gave her to Nico for a diaper change. 

But it wasn’t until the drive home that he or Marie said anything about it to each other. 

“I think we should try for a third.” Marie said, turning down Sid’s dad rock. “And I know you’re thinking the same thing.” 

“When do you want to start?” Sid asked, turning briefly to smile at her. 

“Let me work out a maternity leave schedule with Danny and we can start trying after that.” 

Sid takes her hand and squeezes it. Their little family was complete but they’ve found one more puzzle piece that might have a spot there. 

Sid: 43 & Amé: 7

Sid kept a close eye on all children when it came to mental health issues. He didn’t get diagnosed with OCD until too late to really have true coping mechanisms so he wanted to make sure that his kids - should they exhibit any symptoms - got the help they needed as soon as possible.

When Amélie first exhibited signs, she was seven. It started simple, just a little girl who didn’t want to get dirty and was always the first to say that they needed to wash hands. Sid cataloged it but also it could be ascribed to him stressing that it wasn’t safe for maman to get sick, that maman got really sick fifteen years ago and it meant that she could get sick really easily now. And then the other signs started cropping up. Too much attention to detail and numeric patterns, excessive worrying that something bad would happen, suddenly thinking she’s not good enough.

“I think we need to start Amé on therapy,” Sid told Marie as they were getting ready for bed, “Her symptoms are getting worse.”

“Her teacher called me earlier today,” G nodded, “She had a full meltdown about recess being outside.”

Sid nodded, “I’ll call her doctor in the morning, get a referral. We’ll figure it out.”

Sid: 49 & Logan: 5

Sid was glad to play babysitter for all the kids in the family box. He took a lot of joy in being the one in charge. So when Logan pulled him down to the seats to sit with him he gladly did. Logan didn’t have an interest in playing but he loved watching his parents play. 

“That was a good play,” Sid said quietly as Morgan took the puck out through the neutral zone. Logan nodded along to everything he was saying. 

“Go mommy,” Logan whispered at the same volume, smiling when Uncle Sid smiled at that. Anything Sid was about to say was cut short by Morgan scoring and the goal horn going off. Logan screamed about his mom and watched his parents crash into each other on the jumbotron. 

“I think I hear your Nana G cheering from across the ice,” Sid said, looking across at the press box where Marie is sitting, a smile probably on her face, he can’t tell from this distance. She’d love to be cheering but professionalism for the time being will have to do until after the game. 

Sid: 58 & Charlie: 19

Sid huffed out a laugh at Marie’s text that Charlie was getting two games for his cross-check to Nikita. He saw that coming a mile away.

To Marie: Ever since he got the racing stripes, he’s become even more like his dad.

From Marie: Unfortunately.

Sid laughed out loud and slid his phone back into his pocket so he didn’t have to look at the text Geno sent about his wife’s team still trying to murder poor innocent players on the Penguins. Nikita was far from innocent and definitely deserved the cross check.

He would never tell Charlie Tkachuk-Thomas that.

Sid: 59 & Bruno: Mere Hours Old

“Nolan had her baby,” Marie said, casually, like it was an everyday occurrence. 

“Last night,” Sid asked from the stove where he was making her eggs. 

“Around four this morning, a night owl like his mama.” 

“Despite what we did after Elena, and the fact Nolan just did this, we’re not having another. We are both way too old for another newborn stage,” Sid turned around to lean against the counter. “At least I can’t do another one.” 

“No, that’s fine. I wasn’t going to suggest that this time around,” Marie said, pushing her reading glasses into her hair. “We can’t do that to Blaise, he’d never get over not being the baby of the family any longer.” 

“He wouldn’t have to know. Jack and Ty hid a kid from the girls,” Sid said. 

“And either way, he’d probably kill me. Since he didn’t succeed the first attempt, he’d get away with it this time. Henri might even help.” 

Sid made a face, he hated her joking about that, always has and probably always will. 

“When are we going to go see Nolan and Nico and the baby?” Sid asked so he didn't have to think about her in that hospital bed any longer. 

“Tomorrow? They’ll be discharged probably this afternoon if everything goes well so we can take them lunch and offer to do some things for them?” 

“That sounds good. Maybe that good Italian place around the corner from their old apartment. We haven’t been there in years.” 

“Nolan would like that a whole lot.” 

Sid: 60 & Blaise: 18

Blaise waved off his mother’s concerns about him driving from Philly to Saint Louis in his car. He loved his car and refused to use his ELC money for a new one or let his parents buy him a new one. He even refused to fly to Saint Louis and lease a car for the season suggestion that dad threw out. He was taking his car.

“It’ll be fine, Maman,” Blaise said, hugging her, “I’ll text you when I get to Aunt Robbi’s.”

“Have a good Camp,” Marie hugged him tightly, “And remember, if you get sent down, it’s not a big deal, just grind.”

Sid had to prompt Marie three times before she actually let Blaise go and he got his hug in.

“Call me if you need anything,” Sid replied, not voicing that he, too, was worried about that car making the long trip.

“Will do,” Blaise grinned getting in the car and starting it up.

Marie’s eyes widened and she gripped Sid’s hand at the noise the engine made.

“It always does that!” Blaise yelled out the window, “It’s fine!”

“I hate that car,” Marie muttered.

“I know, babe,” Sid kissed her head as they watched Blaise leave the neighborhood, “Wanna go get a cheesesteak?”

“Yes,” Marie sniffed, wiping tears.

+

Sid was in the process of making dinner when Blaise called him.

“Hey dad,” he said, sounding sheepish, “you know that noise that made mom make that face?”

“Yes,” Sid replied, “What happened? Did you need to stop for an oil change once you got to Columbus?”

“Not…exactly.”

“What happened?”

“Well. I got to Zanesville and the engine started smoking. So I pulled over in a Walmart parking lot and I noticed little flames so I got my shit out of the car and it just…. Whomph!”

“Blaise Dominque.”

“It wasn’t my fault!”

“Is there a motel close to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Go get a room. Use the credit card,” Sid pulled out his phone and looked at flights to Columbus, booking one leaving in two hours, “I’m booking a flight to Columbus. I’ll rent a car and come get you and drive you the rest of the way to Saint Louis tomorrow. Send me the hotel address. It’ll take about an hour for me to get to you once I get the rental car.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“No problem, kid.”

“Don’t tell mom?”

“Not a chance in hell, kid.”

“It was worth a shot.”

Sid: 61, Daniil: 25, & Amé: 25

Sid was totally not falling asleep in front of the history channel, totally not. Marie was working on the calendar for the month, making sure everything was roughly to date. Neither paid much attention when the front door was unlocked and opened. 

“I’m so sorry for just coming in,” Daniil said, slipping off his shoes in the front hall. 

“Daniil, we gave you a key so you could do just that, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” Marie said, getting up from the table. 

“Can we talk wherever Sidney is?” Daniil asked, fidgeting with his hands. 

“Of course, he’s in the other room,” Marie said, directing him towards the living room where Sid was sitting up now. “Wake up.” 

“‘M awake. What’s up, Daniil?” 

“I have a question. Ame doesn’t know I’m here so don’t tell her. But.” He reached for his jacket pocket and pulled out a ring box. “I’d like to propose within the next few months.” 

Inside was a gorgeous oval cut ruby with diamonds going down the sides of the ring. Clearly they had talked about this. 

“Of course, you may,” Sid started. “You’re everything she wants and I have no issue. I doubt Marie has any.” 

Marie shakes her head, wiping tears out of her eyes. “Do it whenever and let us know so you both can come over for dinner to celebrate.” 

“Of course. Thank you both, so much. Truly.” Daniil said, standing up. “It probably won’t be until summer at the earliest but I wanted to ask you guys now so I didn’t have to worry about it.” 

Sid saw Daniil out, making sure he was careful on the snowy sidewalk, and when he returned, Marie had not only stolen his spot on the couch, but was dabbing her eyes again. 

“Our baby is getting married,” she said with a watery smile. 

Sid could only nod, he couldn’t believe it either. 

Sid: 61 & Freya: 18

“I got a call of Nicke today,” Marie said over dinner. Sid didn’t look up right away. Nicke called Marie at least once every day, “Freya is now dating Nikita.”

“Malkin?” Sid asked, mouth full of chicken casserole.

“Yes, that one. Who is thirty-three dating Freya Ovechkin, who just turned eighteen.”

“I could see where there might be -”

“Might be?”

“An issue but if they’re both happy and consenting adults -”

“You know who else responded that way?”

“Geno?”

“Alexander.”

Sid sat there in silence, not sure how to respond to that. He never liked when he agreed with Alex on anything. Even when they moved past their rivalry and into being kind of friends.

“Freya’s an adult now. And not even Nikolya Backstrom can change that,” Sid reminded her, “And Freya… she’s going to reject anything negative, especially coming from her mother and you.”

“I told Nicke to tell Freya to call me if she needs anything. I can get there faster than Freya.”

“But you’re not getting involved in the relationship.”

“Not unless I have to.”

“But you’re not getting involved in the relationship.”

“Fine.”

“I need you to say it back to me.”

“I’m not getting involved in a thirty-three year old dating a girl who just turned eighteen a week ago.”

Sid huffed out a laugh and took another bite of his dinner, “You should make this more often.”

“Henri is looking forward to it when he gets home later.”

“I’ll tell Henri it wasn’t good.”

Marie laughed brightly and kissed his cheek, “Do the dishes, babe.”

Sid: 63 & Dinah: 20

“Mr. Crosby. I have a question,” 

“For the love of god stop calling me that, Dinah,” Sid groaned from his spot in the recliner in the players’ lounge. “What’s your question?” 

“Can you get me Marc-Andre Fleury’s number?” 

“Why,” Sid asked before pulling out his phone. 

“Well, I want to learn how to fight so I thought I’d ask him,” Dinah said, innocently rocking up on her toes. 

“No. He doesn’t know how to fight.” Sid said flatly. “He fought in juniors, broke a knuckle, tried to plan a fight and the refs broke it up before he could get his ass kicked so no. If you’re going to learn to fight from someone, have it be someone who can land a punch.” 

“Do you have suggestions, then?” 

“Still no. I’m smarter than that, I’m not getting in trouble with my wife because I helped you live out a dream.” 

Dinah huffed out a laugh. “So, what you’re telling me is that you like to crush dreams?”

“If you were to ask my children, they’d say so.”   

“I’m going to find someone to teach me how to fight.” 

“That’s fine,” Sid said, reclining even more. “Just don’t use google. Marie somehow always knows.” 

Dinah heads out of the lounge with an idea popping up in her mind. 

To: Travis Konecny: Mr Konecny, will you teach me how to fight?

Sid: 63 & Henri: 24

Henri didn’t look at his phone before answering, “Yo.”

“Is that really how you answer the phone?”

“Sorry, dad,” Henri rolled his eyes, “Hello, Mr Henri Crosby-Giroux speaking, how may I help you?”

Sid rolled his eyes and said, “Come get your shit from the garage.”

“What shit?” 

“All of it,” Sid replied, “Your mom and I are cleaning out the garage. And if I want to park my car in the garage in winter - which I do - it all needs to go. Your sister came by to get hers - and then went shopping with your mom to get even more stuff to clutter the apartment with - and we’re mailing Blaise’s stuff to him.”

“Do I get dinner tonight if I time my pick up right?”

“If it were up to me, no,” Sid replied, stepping over the pile of stuff that belonged to his middle son, “but your mother won’t let you leave without putting food in you and I can’t stop her.”

“What all do I have to get?”

“All of it, Henri,” Sid huffed, “Everything that you have ever put in this garage.”

“Tell mom I want pot roast for dinner.”

Sid rolled his eyes. He would not be doing that. Marie was making chili because that’s what Sid had requested the night before.

Sid: 66 & Mitchell: 18

“Remind Mitchell he’s invited too,” Marie said as Sid was running out the door to drop some things off at the rink for her. Having a broken foot meant she couldn’t drive or walk very far and it was torture for her. Sid shot her a thumbs up as he left. 

Sid took full advantage of the spot reserved for the general manager when Marie wasn’t there and no one could stop him, and as he was getting out, Connor and Mitchell were heading in for practice. 

“Boys,” Sid raised his voice just a little bit. “Good morning. Marie would like me to invite you both over for dinner on Sunday. If you can’t come, no big deal but she wanted me to ask.” 

“That sounds great! We’ll be there!” Connor said, heading further into the practice rink. 

“He’ll be there,” Mitchell said, “He sometimes has a habit of acting like we’re one person.” 

“Well, it’s a good thing Marie invited you both, then,” Sid said with a smile. “Any time he’s invited, you’re invited. GM’s orders. Got it?” 

Mitchell could just nod. Usually Connor’s just trying to get out of going to something alone, but this is nice. He wasn’t worried about Connor not fitting in on his new team, but he’s just his brother. Who hangs around him when he’s not at school, not every team and every teammate wants to hang out with that. Especially after finding out what he does on the side. 

“Here, you’re always included, and maybe some time you’ll be the only one on the invite, I wouldn’t put that past Marie.” Sid felt the urge to ruffle his hair, but he chose not to, that’d be weird. 

“What’s for dinner that night?” Mitchell asked a few seconds later. 

“I think pot roast, but I can’t be sure. I wouldn’t put it past her to do a roast chicken or something. Is there a dietary thing?” 

“No, I’m just nosy. I’ll eat whatever and you already know Connor will too.” 

Sid had seen that first hand, “You’re just like your mom. Not that that’s a bad thing.” 

Mitchell smiled, he liked hearing that. Especially from people who knew Mitchie and spoke about her the way Sid had in the past. 

“I’ll make sure Connor shows up hungry.” 

“Good, Marie is notorious for cooking too much.” 

Both went further into the rink before splitting off at the offices, Sid going to Marie’s and Mitchel going to sit in the stands to watch skate. 

Sid: 67 & Connor Jr: 19

Connor had never had a problem finding the back of the net. It’s something he had always been able to do. Just like Olivia. Just like his dad. He could always skate and he could always score. But they were a month into his second season in Philly and he had yet to score. 

“You’re getting assists, you’re skating well, you’re being defensively strong.”

All things his family and teammates and coach and GM were telling him over and over and over again. But he was expected to bring another Cup to Philly. Amé was in her last year, Marie was maybe going to be retiring with her - not so secretly planning to make a run at Commissioner of the NHL - and they wanted to win one the Giroux women one last Cup to thank them for all their years and devotion to the Flyers. And he couldn’t help with that if he wasn’t scoring.

“Your grip is too tight,” a voice called out from the bench as he shot another puck at the empty net wide.

Connor spun around to see Sid standing on the bench, likely making a detour from trying to drag his wife to lunch when he heard someone on the ice.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” Connor muttered as Sid stepped onto the ice.

“You’re thinking about it too much,” Sid replied, “Relax and let your instincts take the lead.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Connor muttered, “You’re Sidney Crosby.”

“You think I never had goal droughts?” Sid asked.

“I know you did,” Connor replied, “You they never dragged on this long.”

“Before the next game, I want you to do some breathing exercises, center yourself,” Sid instructed, “Your shot is good but your expectation for yourself is making you over think. Next time you shoot the puck, clear your mind.”

“You’re recommending mind games?”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Sid grinned, “Now get off the ice so they can clean it. I’m sure Mitchell is starving by now.”

Connor nodded and did as he was told, huffing out a laugh when he looked at his phone and saw all the messages from Mitchell bitching about leaving him waiting in the parking lot and threatening to leave him and then turning into worry that his messages hadn’t been seen then back to bitching him out about being starving.

Sid: 67 & Alex: 19

Sid was just watching as everyone filtered in and out of the party, keeping an eye on his wife and the cheese platter, making sure the rookies didn't end up drunk under the table again, the usual things. And he didn’t notice when Alex slid into the booth next to him. 

“Have you seen Connor?” Alex asked. 

Sid jumped a little bit, “I haven’t no, but Mitchell is over there holding court. I think he’s teaching the Russians how to do their hair.”

Alex laughed brightly. That was on par for Mitchell. 

“Your laugh sounds so much like your mom’s. Honestly, there’s a lot you do that’s like her.” 

“I’ve been told that my whole life.” Alex sighed. “I know it’s not a bad thing but like, it’s weird to hear and never have elaborated on.” 

“I can be the first to do that, then. I don’t mean this as a slight against your dad, but he’s loud, abrasive, can be a little over the top at times. Your mom, while dramatic at times, is level headed, she sees the whole picture instead of one piece at a time. It’s a good thing you’re like her, your brothers are too much like your dad.” 

“Wow, that’s really nice of you to say about her. And yeah, the first four boys are enough Tkachuk for any generation of people.” 

Sid laughed at that, which alerted a tipsy Marie to where he’d found a seat. 

“Hi,” she smiled at him before noticing Alex. “Talking about anything good?” 

“My mom,” Alex said. “Sid was saying how much like her he thinks I am.” 

“There are times I think you’re your mother’s clone and I’ve told her that myself,” Marie said, looking very proud of herself. “Be proud of the Thomas genes.” 

Sid: 67 & Wren: 26

He knew Morgan and Marie didn’t see or hear the text from Wren. And he knew neither of them noticed him grabbing his keys and heading out. 

“Hey Songbird,” Sid said rolling down the window of the Range Rover, “You need a hand with your bags?” 

He got out of the car when Wren nodded, struggling under the weight of all her stuff that’s been in her Vancouver apartment. When they got it all in there - they only had to put down one of the backseats - Wren slid into the passenger seat and seemed to relax. 

“Good flight?”

“Long one, customs sucked, as usual. But I'm home now. For at least a few months. What’s for dinner?” 

“No idea, your mom and Marie have been cooking all day,” Sid said, pulling into traffic, “but I don’t think it’s done. Plus your dad was about halfway through Jersey last update from him and Logan, so probably a few more hours. Wawa?” 

“Yes please,” Wren said. 

After a stop for a sandwich and a coffee for her, they were back driving to the house. 

“‘M so glad to be home,” Wren said around a yawn. 

“We’re all glad you’re home.” Sid said, a smile in his voice. 

+ 

By the time they’re home, they’ve decided they’ll leave her stuff in the trunk until after dinner, and after Joel arrives. Just sneak into the house so Morgan and Marie don’t stop what they’re doing to fret over her now. 

Wren held her giggles until they were in the living room, sprawled out on the couch and the floor, then she couldn’t help herself. It wasn’t until Joel and Logan got in that Morgan had a chance to look at the clock. 

“Oh my god, Wren’s flight gets in in twenty minutes, we should go now!” 

“Babe, she’s on the floor in here,” Joel said, looking right at her. 

Morgan screamed as she came in, like she hadn’t seen her daughter a week before at graduation. “When did you get here?” 

“About an hour ago, Uncle Sid got me, my flight got moved up.” 

Wren tilted her head to smile at him, “Thanks again for that.”  

“No problem, happy to do it,” Sid smiled back, “Amé and Daniil should be over any time so, happy hour?” 

Sid: 68 & Dima: 27

“Did he put me in this show?” Sid whispered to Marie, title card for Dima’s shiny new sitcom flashing across the screen.

“Nicke said he put a lot of people in his life in this show,” Marie replied, “And you’re in his life.”

“Yeah, but we both know how his mom feels about me,” Sid replied, eating a handful of popcorn, “What if that influenced him and I’m just a cad who goes around stealing women.”

Marie rolled her eyes and told him to just watch the show.

+

“He made me the fucking old man yelling at birds?!” 

Marie fell to the side in her giggles.

Sid: 68 & Jacob: 20

Sid wasn’t exactly known for being in the loop. He liked it that way. It was safe being out of the loop. But when Mitchell posted the video introducing Jacob - his twin brother’s winger on the Flyers - as his boyfriend, Sid was shocked.

“Marie!” he yelled, “Did you know about this?!”

“Yes,” G replied calmly entering the room, “Why are you so shocked? Jacob follows Mitchell around like a puppy when he comes to the rink. Hell, Jacob is the reason Mitchell comes to the practices.”

“But. He’s a Draistal.”

G giggled and said, “Eventually a McDavid was gonna marry a Draisaitl.”

Sid huffed out a laugh.