Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a brisk late-summer morning when Scars alarm went off.  After letting it ring for 30 seconds, lazily covering his head with a pillow, he finally rolled over to grab the phone that was buzzing on his nightstand.  Luckily the bunk house, where he stayed while on grounds, was almost empty aside from the bottom bunk parallel to his, where Mumbo was laying.  Despite the mustached man's head being a mere few feet from where Scar’s alarm was just blaring, he was still sleeping like a rock.  That man could truly sleep through anything.  Scar turned off his alarm and checked the time.

7:01am, his phone read.

Dang it, Scar thought to himself, I promised Bdubs I’d help him work with his new project horse today.

After sluggishly dragging himself out of bed he changed into his barn clothes, nothing special, just a worn pair of jeans and a green-and-tan button-up flannel shirt, before heading to the barn.  

The barn wasn't far from the bunk house, about a 5 minute walk on the dirt road that ran through the rodeo grounds. That would take you right up to the front of the old thing.  And an old thing it was.  The barn had to be at least 50 years old.  It was sturdy, with rough cut dark wood, and the typical large sliding door on the front.  Even though the outside looked rather aged, the inside had a rather new feeling.  Wooden panel stalls lined both sides as Scar walked in.  He could tell his brother had already fed and took care of the horses this morning as he could hear the happy munching of the several horses that were in the barn at this time.  Not all the horses were in, but that was typical.  It was very rare that all the horses were in at one time.  Between alternating turnout times for the creatures, and horses like Ghost and Gluestick that were needed to move stock in the mornings, the stalls were almost never all full at once.  After walking about half way through the barn he finally spotted the shorter man, hay sticking out of his hair every which way.  He was in a stall brushing a stocky bay mare.  

“Well, look who finally decided to show up.”  Bdubs said when he noticed his brother walking up to the stall he was working in.

“Sorry Bdubs, I forgot to set my alarm earlier.” Scar said, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Ok then sleeping beauty, if you're not too sleepy, I already have Lullaby tacked up and tied out on the hitching post.  I figured you could ride her while I work with Crastle on the trail.”  Bdubs said, exiting the stall to get a saddle to use on the new project horse.  “I just need an extra set of eyes in case something happens, ya know, just in case.” 

Lullaby was the epitome of the perfect trail horse.  Anyone could ride her.  Bdubs had poured his entire soul into that mare and her training since he got her.  She was his first project.  She was a pretty sad, but pretty typical find at the first auction Scar and Bdubs had ever gone to.  Her mane and tail matted from neglect and her beautiful dun coloration was hidden under a coat of mud.  She shied from the hand he tried to offer her direction.  Bdubs refused to leave her there.  After winning the auction to buy her, he took her home and showed her what it meant to be loved.  Brushing her til she shown like a glassy lake under a perfectly gray sky.  She didn't shy from his touch as she did at the auction house.  She knew she was home.  She might let anyone ride her, but she was Bdubs' horse, and Bdubs was her person.  

“Sure, sure.  I got you.”  Scar says before walking out the other side of the barn to see the grullo mare stood at the hitching post.  

He patted the mare on the neck before moving back to focus his attention on the stirrups.  In no world would Scar ever try to fit in Bdubs stirrups where he has them.  After moving the stirrups 8 holes down on each side, he steps back to look and see if they appeared even.  Sure enough they do.  Not that there isn't a chance they feel completely wrong once he gets on, but that was a later problem.  Shortly after he got his stirrups seemingly handled, Bdubs was walking out the barn with his prospect in hand.  

“I messed with your stirrups.” Informing his brother.

“Did you memorize where they gotta go back to?” He questioned.

“Yep, all the way up for your little legs.”  Scar teased.  

“They most certainly do not!”  The shorter man defended. “You take that back!”

“Yes I remember where they go back,”  He said laughing at his brother's big reaction, “I couldn't ride with your stirrups if I wanted to.  I’d look like I was getting ready for the Kentucky Derby.” 

“Just because you have longer legs than me does not mean I have short legs.”  He says with a sort of finality, gathering his reins and swinging himself onto Crastle's back.

“Whatever you say, man.”  Scar unties Lullaby from the hitch and follows suit.  “Lead the way, little brother.”

*~~~~~~~~~*

It had been a while since Scar had a horse of his own.  Her name was Minnie, and she was his heart horse.  She passed away 2 years ago, on a mid-winter night.  He was crushed.  That mare, his mare, the creature that had taught him everything that there was to know about caring for and riding horses, was gone.  For a year after her passing, Scar refused to go with Bdubs to the barn, a place he used to love, but he knew there was nothing for him there anymore.  

It wasn't until he started to worry about his brother handling the animals on his own that he finally brought himself to go back.  Though there was almost always someone around the grounds if something were to happen, it wasn't a guarantee.   The rodeo grounds was a busy place, everyone going all different ways.  There was always the chance that something could happen and no one would find Bdubs til it was too late.  So, Scar dragged himself along to the grounds one day.  

He would help Bdubs with his projects the best he could.  After his brother was confident in the horses training he would let his brother ride them.  Deep down he really hoped that Scar would click with one of the horses he had trained.  That Scar could finally have that special bond again.  The bond between a person and their horse is one far stronger than most people will ever experience.  It’s different then the bond you would have from your cat or your dog.  It's a mutual trust that is earned over time.  And it was obvious that he missed it.  But no matter how many horses Bdubs got trained and let Scar ride, none of them were what he lost that mid-winter night.

*~~~~~~~~~*

The ride was pretty quiet so far, well, other than constant bickering that occurred whenever the brothers would ride together.  But, both horses were behaving well, though Scar expected nothing less from the sweet girl he was riding.  He was more impressed with how Bdubs was doing with his new horse.  He had been working with Crastle for about a month now, and has already made so much progress.  When he first got her, the bay mare was quite the handful; constantly pushing her limits to see what the man would let her get away with.  But, for every stubborn horse there's a strong willed, stubborn man who can be just as bullheaded.  And, folks, that man is Bdubs.

They had ridden about a mile out when they came to the creek.  The entry point was hidden between two trees, bushes and shrubs thriving being so close to a source of water.  The edge of it was about 2 or 3 feet high and about a 55 degree slant down into the shallow water.  The bed was lined with smooth round rocks, some large, some small, that the water would trickle over.  It was always a good place to go to get horses used to the idea of crossing water.  Scar had ridden Lullaby out here many times, always leading the way into the water to show whatever new horse that the water was safe.  Sliding down the edge of the creek he could tell it was a little muddy, but nothing they hadn't ridden in before.  After a little coaxing, Bdubs finally got Crastle in, also sliding down the muddy bank.

“Good job, sweetheart!”  Bdubs praise the horse.  “That bank was a little slicker than I thought, but it should be fine.”  He asked his horse to go in a little farther so her hooves were fully submerged in the slowly running water, patting her neck as reassurance that she was doing well.  

“Yeah, I noticed that coming down.”  He also leaned over to rub his mounts neck.

“Look at how good my babies are!”  Bdubs gloated with pride, looking at Scar who had Lullaby standing quietly at the one side of the stream, giving him and Crastle room to work. 

“They’re saints, Bdubs,” Scar chuckled. “Their owner however…” 

“Hey! Very freaking funny.” Bdubs snapped playfully. “You wait til I teach her to splash, then you'll be sorry!”

“I’m sure I will.” Scar couldn't help but grin.

They didn't spend too much time in there, Bdubs didn't want to overwhelm the horse by pushing her too far on her first time crossing water, so he turned her back towards the way they got in and let her climb out.  She didn’t have too much trouble getting up the muddy bank, but it was more than the horses normally do.  

Scar turned Lullaby to follow suit and she started up the bank.  She was doing fine until she lost her footing, toppling to the side as her feet folded under her, sending Scar’s leg to bash against one of the trees beside the bank.  She tried to regain her footing but only slipped more, causing him to lose his stirrup in the commotion.  Trying to cling to the horn, Scar pulled the mare's head up to get her feet under her, which thank goodness worked.  The grullo horse was then able to stabilize herself enough to hoist her body the rest of the way up the bank in one big heave.  Unfortunately, as the horse jerked forwards, he became massively aware of his lack of stirrups.  As the horse pulled herself from the creek,  Scar fell backwards, landing hard on his side in the rocky bed of the stream.  

Bdubs didn't realize Scar hadn't made it up the bank until he heard a splash and saw his other mare steady herself on the dry ground above the entry point.  

“Scar!” He cried out, getting no answer as he rushed back over to the edge.  He saw the other man laying in the water on his side.  He rushed to dismounted and tied his horse to a tree and hurried down into the creek.  

“Scar, come on dude, say something!” He knelt in the water by Scars side, trying to get him to say something.  Nothing.  The fall had knocked him out.  

No, no, no, no, Bdubs thought to himself, doing his best to get the larger man out of the water and back up the bank.  

After dragging him back up the bank and laying him gently down in the lush grass, Bdubs pulled his phone out to call for help.  He called Cleo, knowing that they would be around and probably would be his best bet at someone answering the phone.  The phone rang twice before he heard a voice on the other line.

“Hello?”

“Cleo! I need help!”  Bdubs was frantic.  “Scar fell off of Lull at the creek. He's not waking up, I don't know what to do.  I can’t get him back onto her to take him back! I can’t lift him up that hig-” 

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down Dubs,”  Cleo said from the other line.  “I’m going to grab the grounds’ truck and drive over to get you guys, just take some deep breaths and stay with your brother, I will be there as fast as I can.”

“Okay, okay,” he panted, trying to breathe. “I’ll stay with him, you’re on your way.”  He restated over the phone, more to remind himself.

“Yes, hang tight, I’m coming,” He heard the door of the ancient farm truck open and close on the other line.  “Keep talking to me, how did he fall?  Did you see how he landed? Is he bleeding anywhere?”

“I wasn't looking, he was taking Lull back up the bank.  His leg is cut up real bad, but I don't see any blood coming from his head.”  He said, failing to calm his ragged breathing. “I think she slipped and he lost his balance and fell back into the water.  I was able to get him out of the water, but not back onto the horse.”

“Ok, don't move him anymore, if it's spinal, moving him more could cause more damage.  You made the right call getting him out of the water, drowning is the worse of those two evils.”  Cleo directed, their phone picking up the low rumble of the vehicle she was driving.  “The truck has a backboard in it for emergencies.  Are the horses still with you?”

“Yes, I tied Crastle to a tree when I noticed Lull came out of the creek riderless.  And Lull has ground tied herself since she got off of the bank.”  Bdub informed as his hand shook the phone next to his ear.  Crap, how are we gonna get the horses back. We are a mile out and there is no way we are gonna be able to get them back with the truck because we need to rush Scar back to the hospital.  He thought, before he heard Cleo's voice on the other end of the line.

“Ok, Dubs, I need you to tie Lull with Crastle so she doesn't wander.  I'm letting Skizz and Impulse know where they are.  They just finished moving stock onto the hill pasture.  They are gonna come get the horses and take them back.”  She delegated as if she had heard his thoughts.  

He did as he was told and tied his sweet mare next to the bay he had been working with before everything started to fall apart. Then he sat back next to Scar, bringing his knees to his chest, still clutching the phone to his ear.  “She’s tied, I'm sitting next to Scar.” He reported, squeezing his legs with his free arm.

“Ok, I’m almost there.  I should see you any second.”  They kept their voice steady, despite everything that was happening.  “I’m going to hang up and call Skizz, I will see you in a couple seconds.”

“Ok,” he breathed out with slight relief as he could hear the engine of the truck approaching.  “Ok, thank you, Mom.”

“Of course, Bdubs.”

Chapter Text

The first thing Scar was aware of was the harsh, rhythmic beeping. He scrunched his face, testing the muscles before blinking his eyes open.   Slowly coming to his senses, he takes in his surroundings.  Blank white walls burn his newly opened eyes.  He was in the hospital.  Head aching as the world around him began to spin slightly.  As he scans the room his eyes land on the scruffy man sitting in the chair beside his hospital bed.  His head was in his hands looking down, feet planted on the floor, giving Scar a good look at just how much hay was still in his brother's hair.  

“Dubs?”  Scars voice rasped, turning his head to try and look at the man sitting beside him, causing his vision to start spinning more, not appreciating his movements.  

“Scar,”  Bdubs voice is soft as he lifts his head and shifts towards the man laying in the bed.  “You're up.”  His eyes started to shine with tears, as he smiled weakly.

Scar grunted, trying to clear his throat, “I never fixed your stirrups.”

The smaller man chuckles through tears, “That's alright man, I’ll fix them later.”

“All the way up?” 

“All the way up.”  Bdubs caves, wiping a tear from his cheek messily with his hoodie sleeve, leaving a small streak of dirt in its wake.  

“For your little legs.”  Scars voice still rough from involuntary sleep, slipping out an airy laugh.

“I'm gonna message Cleo and tell her you're awake.”  He pulled his phone out and typed out the message, sending it to the other.

“What happened?”  Scar questioned, rubbing his head trying to get his vision to stop swirling.

“Stay still, would ya!  What do you remember?”

“I remember leaving the barn, riding to the creek, Lull was having a tough time getting up the bank.  Then I'm not sure, if I had to guess, I’d say I didn't stay in the saddle.”

“You fell off, into the creek, and somewhere along the line, you took a beating to your leg.”  Bdubs informed.  “Doc says you likely have a concussion too.  There’s no way you didn’t hit your head when you landed with how uneven that creek bed is. But the scans didn’t show a spinal injury.” 

That would explain why the world feels like a merry-go-round, Scar thought to himself, not wanting to alarm Bdubs.   He looked rough.  Bags formed under his eyes, and lines pleated into his face, making him look far older than he was.  

“How long have I been out?”  Scar asked, knowing his brother wouldn’t have left his side since he's been here.  

“A day and a half, I think.”  

“You should get some sleep.”  Scar pressed, closing his eyes in hopes of easing his pounding head.  “You messaged Cleo, they should be here soon, so why don't you go home and take a nap.  And for goodness sake, please wash your hair.  It looks like you have half the hayloft up there.”

“I’m not tired,” Bdubs countered, still not wanting to leave Scars side.  “And my hair has the normal amount of hay in it, thank you very much.”

“At least close your eyes in that chair, you can hold my hand to make sure I won’t walk out on you.”  Scar gently slides his hand in his brother's direction, an amused smile faint on his lips.

“You better freaking not.”  Bdubs snickered slightly, reluctantly taking Scars hand and leaning back in the chair he was in.  “Fine, but just because you asked me too.  It's not because I'm tired, not even a little bit.”  He yawned mid sentence.

“Nope, not sleepy at all.”  Scar rolled his eyes.  

Bdubs was not one to miss sleep.  He was the biggest advocate for taking naps, he always had a rather strict bedtime, and he took pride in getting a full night's rest.  You would never see that man with bags under his eyes.  Scar knew that if Bdubs was missing sleep, something was up.  What had happened to him after he fell off that horse?  It wasn't until the door to his room opened that he was pulled from his thoughts.  Cleo stood in the doorway, quietly entering the room, being careful to not let the door slam, which Scar was grateful for.

“Hey, Scar.  How are you feeling?”  Cleo’s voice was calm, gentle, like she was talking to a scared animal, trying not to frighten it away.  

“Groggy, my head hurts, the world is slightly spinning.”  Scar answered honestly, looking to his side to the man that was still holding his hand.  

Bdubs was out, hand still loosely around Scars.  The stress lines fading from his face as sleep overtook his body.  He knew he was tired.  His brother never has been a good liar.  

“Good, he’s finally asleep.”  Cleo said, briefly turning her attention to the man sleeping in the chair.  “I’ve been trying to get him to go home and sleep since we got here.”  They sighed, before gingerly sitting on the edge of Scars bed.  

“I think going home would stress him out more.  If he hadn’t said my leg took a beating, I would’ve invited him to lay with me in bed.  When he used to get nightmares, I would let him climb in bed with me.  Haven’t seen him this sleepless since those nights.”  He stretches toward the big red button, but wasn’t able to reach it without having to drop the hand in his.  “They should know I’m awake, can you hit that for me?”

Cleo nodded, leaning to press the button next to the bed.  “Fair enough, but once he wakes up, I don't care if I have to carry him kicking and screaming, he's getting a shower.”  She said with a gentle firmness and a slight smile.  

Scar chuckled to himself at the image of Cleo’s built frame hauling Bdubs over their shoulder, much to his chagrin.  While Cleo wasn’t their biological mom, she had been there for them in ways no one has been in a long time.  Since the boys started at the rodeo grounds, Cleo was always working to keep them out of trouble.  She was always there if something went wrong.  She was always there when something went right.  And in turn, Cleo got really used to hearing, “Mom, watch this!”  Whatever followed that exclamation would vary WIDELY.  But regardless, the brothers were forever grateful for them.  Especially in moments like this.  

“Grian’s been asking about you.”  Cleo said, leaning to pluck a strand of hay out of Bdubs hair.  “He tried to come in and see you, but the nurses wouldn't let him in.  ‘Only family’ they told him.  Hell, they barely let me in.  It took Bdubs 20 straight minutes of convincing them that I was the closest thing to family you guys have.  He was this close to forging adoption papers.”  Cleo holds her fingers up as if pinching the air.  

“Do you think they’d let him in now that I'm aware?”  Scar asked, a faint flush spreading over the bridge of his nose.  

“Possibly,”  They said, turning their attention back to the man laying in the bed.  “Now that you’re up, I don't see any reason why they wouldn't.  Do you want me to text him, let him know you’re awake?”

“Yes please.”  He said, a little too hastily, reaching slowly to itch his nose with the hand he was sharing with his brother.  Despite the movement, Bdubs didn't stir.  He hasn't stirred since he fell asleep in that chair next to Scar.  Stubborn, persistent, headstrong Bdubs, always trying to take care of everyone but himself.  

Cleo pulled her phone from her pocket to type out the message before sending it with a tap.  There was a sudden knock on the door, before a man in a white doctor’s robe with short black hair entered.  

“Hello folks, I’m Dr. Cub, I’m glad to see you are awake.  It’s Scar, correct?”  The doctor introduced himself.

“Yep, that's me.”  He said with faux cheerfulness, to try and disguise new found dread that entered him when the doctor walked in.  

“Alrighty, Scar.  Your brother tells me you had a nasty fall off a horse.”  He said, loosely holding a clipboard and pen.  “Can you tell me what you remember of what happened that morning?” 

“Well, I remember leaving the barn and riding to the creek.  We took our horses down the bank, into the shallow water,” he motioned to the sleeping man in the chair next to him, “He took his horse up first and I followed, but my horse slipped and lost her balance.” The events of that morning start to rush back to him all at once.  “I think she toppled to the side into the tree by the entry point.  I must have lost my stirrup in the madness, because when she finally regained her footing, she went up the bank, and I did not.”  

“Ok, then,”  The doctor briefly scribbled something on his clipboard before looking back at Scar.  “Would you like them to stay for the news?”  He motions to Cleo and Bdubs, Cleo still stilling on the bed at his side, and Bdubs still sound asleep.

“Yeah, Doc,”  Scar said with finality, looking at the two people that say to each side of him, “They’re my family.”

“No problem.”  He looked down at his clipboard before he started talking again in a very practiced voice.  “That tree really dinged you up good.  It shredded a lot of the muscle in the leg and tore nearly every tendon in your knee.  We did what we could for you when you came in, but based on the extent of the damage, the possibility of you using that leg again normally is slim.  Especially as the scar tissue forms around the reconstructed sites.  Though that will be looked into more as you go through physical therapy.”  

That was when it all came crashing down, it all became real.  Until this moment, Scar could have convinced himself that this was all just a dream.  He hadn’t woken up yet to help Bdubs work the horses.  He hadn’t ridden Lull down the muddy bank.  He hadn’t fallen off.  But the weight behind the doctor's words made it real.  Everything he knew of his life was crashing down around him, leaving him surrounded by heaps of rubble.  This can't be happening.  Please, say this isn't happening.  

“Now that you are awake, we still have a few tests we need to run.   But, I will give you folks a moment before the nurses come back in.”  The doctor's voice softened a bit, “I’m very sorry.”  

Cleo had turned to look at Scar, whose eyes had started to well up with tears.  They leaned down and wrapped their arms around him, he did the same in turn, though he didn't dare drop Bdub’s hand.  He held her as tight as he could, letting out soft sobs into her shoulder through her curly red locks.  

*~~~~~~~~~*

Scar spent the next few days in the hospital, nurses checking on him every so often, running tests and scans to ensure he would be safe to go home once released.  In his entire time at the hospital, he was never alone.  Even when Cleo finally convinced Bdubs to go home to shower and sleep, they made sure to stay with him until Grian showed up.  While Grian stayed with him, they passed time talking or making up games, anything to keep Scars mind off of the situation at hand.  Grian was good at that.

Grian and Scar had been friends since G had started rodeoing.  Pearl had been trying to get him to ride rodeo for years.  When she finally dragged him to the grounds, he fell in love with it.  Moving his Arabian Mustang mare, Pretty Bird, onto the grounds only solidified his choice to rodeo more.  Their first meeting was when Scar was looking for someone to trail ride with him and Minnie, Grian volunteered, and they just clicked.  Conversation flowed so naturally between the two of them, never having a dull moment.  The two of them alone, during all of their time of friendship, had probably ridden 1000 miles worth of trails together.  They had some of their best conversations on horseback.  After this fiasco, would he even want to go back to riding rodeo?

How was this going to affect us?  What if I can never ride again?  What if we could never hit the trails again together?  And if I could, would I?  Or would the fear of something happening again stop me from the life I used to love?  Scar spiraled, sitting in his hospital bed, awaiting Grain to take his turn for the game of Uno that Cleo had brought up for them.  Is this going to be the end of my rodeo career?  Or worst, the end of the one friendship that I hold most dear?

“Your turn, Scar.”  Grian’s voice tore him from his thoughts, as he rushed to gain his composure and place a card.  “You doing alright?” 

“Oh, yeah, yeah,”  Scar waves indistinctly at the bag of liquid attached to him, “They have pain killers or something or other in the IV drippy thingy.”  

“No, Scar.  I mean like, mentally.”  Grian placed another card, making Scar draw two more, before giving him a soft look of concern.  “You’ve been distant.  I know this has been hard, I can't even imagine what has been going through your head with all this.  I guess I just wanna say, I’m here if you wanna talk about it.”

Scar sucked in a breath before letting out a sigh, knowing he had been found out.  “I just…  I don’t know.”

“We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.”  Grian laid another card on top of the plus two before looking back to Scar.

“No, it’s ok.  I need to talk about it.”  He let his hand fall exposing his cards, but Grian didn’t say anything.  This game was pretty much over anyway, nine rounds of Uno is more than enough for anyone, no matter how bored you are.  “I’m just, I don't know what I'm gonna do.  My rodeo career might be over before I even find a horse again.  And if I could find a horse, what’s gonna stop me from chickening out at the idea of riding again.  This happened on the most capable, reliable horse to ever walk the rodeo grounds.”  He motioned with the hand that held his card to his leg, though it was covered with a blanket.  “If this can happen on Lullaby, it can happen on any horse, no matter the training.”

“Scar, slow down.”  Grian put down the cards in his hand to grab Scar’s free hand,  meeting his eyes.  “You are still a long way off of riding again, if or when that does happen, we can decide those things.  Your feelings and emotions on it right now are skewed.  You're in the thick of it at the moment.  You just need to take it one step at a time.  And that first step is getting out of here and through recovery.”  He squeezes his hand reassuringly.  “Plus, I’m not letting you come to cheer me and Birdie on until your leg is no longer at risk of infection.  And that’s a promise, buddy.”  Grian smiled warmly at the man laying in the bed, face looking to be contemplating his words.  

“Your right,” Scar exhaled, finally setting his cards down with Grian’s.  “You’re always right.”  Scar looked back at the smaller man, his light brown hair falling softly around his face.  

“I try.”  He says light-heartedly, causing the injured man to giggle quietly.  

Scars head had been bugging him since he’d been at the hospital.  Dr. Cub was eventually able to diagnose it as a concussion.  But the constant lightheadedness he had been experiencing was likely the meds he was on to ease the pain, though the concussion probably didn't help.

“Dang it,”  He hissed under his breath as a spike of the ever-constant pain coursed through his head, “Stupid meds, Stupid concussion.” He brought a hand to his temple, rubbing in hopes to ease the pain.

“Can I help? Is there anything I can get you?” Grain went to get up to get whatever the other man needed, but he felt the hand in his tug him back.

“No, please stay.”  Scar said, rushing his words out his mouth. “Everything feels foggy.  I just need something to ground me.”  

“Can I help with that?”  Grain asks slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to understand what the other needed.

Scar was quiet for a moment, “Could you…  Can you, hold me?”  Scar asks gently, reddening slightly, “Just until this dizzy spout passes.”

Grian puts his free hand over the hand Scar had in his other, “Scoot over.”  

They let go of each other's hands while Scar shimmed over, careful not to disturb his head or leg, giving Grian enough room to lay next to him on his good side.  The smaller man laid carefully next to the other, allowing Scar to lay his head on his chest while his arms wrapped around him.  Grain's hand found his back, holding him around the shoulders with one arm, while the other found his deep brown hair, carding through it sweetly.

“I’ll stay as long as you need.” Grian said softly, his fingers dancing gently across Scars scalp.

“Grian?”  Scars voice muffled into the smaller man's chest.

“Yeah, Scar?”  His thumb rubbing comforting circles on the other's back.

“Thank you.”  His eyes close, nuzzling his head impossibly closer.

“Anytime.”  He said before letting the world fall silent around them.

*~~~~~~~~~*

After a few more days in the hospital, Scar was getting ready to be released, with strict orders.  Keep the bandage fresh every 24 hours, don't let the affected leg sit still for long, in order to keep the scar tissue from settling around the joint, and physical therapy would start in a week.  The doctor gave him a few light exercises, just to keep his leg moving till he was healed enough for actual physical therapy.  Even though Scar had thought leaving the hospital meant he might start to feel better, boy was he mistaken. 

Though his concussion symptoms were starting to waver, the pain in his leg was only getting worse.  As the days led on in the hospital, they were starting to cut back on the pain medication they had in the drip.  Though he was getting medication to take orally, it wasn't as good.  Moving his leg was agonizing.  It felt like his skin was tearing itself from his body, and his knee felt as though it was being stabbed with a steak knife.  

It was a type of pain Scar had never felt before.  Ever present, even when it wasn’t prominent, the pain was always there.  When it was bad, it felt like the muscles were on fire, the spasming keeping him from decent sleep.  And when the worst of it would fade, it dimmed to a dull, unfailing pain.  One that never slept.  Though this pain was less than the former, it still rattled him in a way that pain never had before.

Going home was different.  Bdubs wheeled him out of the hospital, Cleo following close behind.  They helped get him into Cleo’s truck to take him home, folding the wheelchair and putting it in bed to get it back to the brothers shared house.  

The first week at home was rough.  The boys were lucky enough to live in a ranch style house with all the important stuff on one floor.  However, Scar learned pretty quickly that the doorways were not well suited for his wheelchair.  Being unable to stand on his own, trying to reach shelves and cabinets was frustrating.  

Scar hated having to rely on Bdubs for such simple things.  If he needed to get something out of the fridge, he needed Bdubs.  If he needed a plate from the cabinet, he needed Bdubs.  He couldn't even use the bathroom with his brother having to help him.  

It wasn't that he was upset that he couldn't do it on his own.  Well at least not entirely.  While it was infuriating that everyday things were now ten times harder than they had ever been, he felt bad that his brother had to do it all for him.

Scar had always been the one to take care of Bdubs.  His little brother shouldn't have to be the one to take care of him.  Scar could always take care of himself.  But now he couldn't.  Now he relied on his little brother.  That wasn't fair.  Scar was supposed to be protecting Bdubs, not the other way around.  While he was stuck recovering at the house, his brother was still working at the grounds.  And he couldn't even go with him to watch after him.  

Working with and around horses came with dangers, Scar knew that, even before what happened to him with his leg.  Everyone at the rodeo arena knew that every ride could be their last.  Especially when working a horse with an unknown history.  For those reasons, he tried to keep an eye on Bdubs when he would go to work with his projects.  Even though he knew Bdubs took all the safety precautions and was smart when it came to understanding the animals behavior and body language, it didn't keep him from worrying.  

But he knew that this was what made Bdubs happy.  What made him feel whole.  He couldn't take that from him.  No matter how much he worried.  So, during his recovery, he sucked it up.  He still had his brother message him upon entering and exiting the grounds, just to know that he was still safe.  However, he couldn't hover over him as he would in the past.  He had to yield some of his control.  As if he hadn’t done that enough already.