Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tenna woke to darkness.

More specifically, he woke to the feeling of his entire being wrapped around it. Warm and soft, he pulled it closer and felt his circuits hum in joy. The dark fountain nestled inside him hummed and flowed in satisfaction as the source of its desire was held so close. He felt his senses begin to return to him. His body still echoed occasional aches and pains, but he felt especially loose and blissed out as he came to. He hummed as his hand roved over soft fabric and he slowly moved his palms to roam over the contours of a chest. Rising and falling, he pressed his hand down and felt the reassuring thumping of a steady heartbeat. 

He wasn’t alone.

He flicked his screen on and the sight of a dark head of hair pressed up against his face greeted him. He smiled, inhaling the scent of Jack Ryder and buried his nose in the source. He’d showered the night before, so instead of the smell of cigarette ash and grease, it smelled more like Jacky. Still smokey, but warmer and less sour. He inhaled deeply and felt his screen flush as his chest rumbled softly with a purr. He still couldn’t believe this was REAL.

Better check.

He squeezed the man in his arms and grinned as Jacky grunted in response. Let himself be pulled tighter against Tenna’s chest and let out a soft groan. He was like a dead weight and while he shifted slightly, he obviously wanted to keep sleeping. Tenna was tempted to let him. He had offered the sleepover for this exact reason. The closeness. The comfort. This feeling of safety was more addicting than ANY stage. Truth or Dare had completely changed the game.

If Tenna had his way, Jacky would play Truth or Dare with him every night until they fell asleep. They’d gotten to ask each other anything they wanted last night. Ask for anything they wanted. They’d told each other they cared. That they… didn’t want to be apart. It was like a dream! Tenna was still reeling from it all.

After Jack had finally gotten dressed and joined him in bed last night, he’d scooted closer as he finished drying off his hair and tossed his towel to the ground. A tripping hazard waiting to happen. Tenna ignored that for now. Jack was back on the bed with him. Grumbling and looking exhausted, but there all the same. 

He was probably still miffed about the bathroom thing. Tenna had never seen him blush so much before! He’d chickened out before he’d been able to do anything bolder than opening the door and handing him his underwear, but that had been long enough to see the way his skin flushed from his chest to his neck all the way up to his face. It was… very overwhelming to take in! He still felt his screen flicker pink just thinking about it. Tenna couldn’t help but feel it had been worth it, though. Jacky hadn’t stopped the game after all. He still wanted to play with him.

Tenna had felt his smile tense as he asked Jacky ‘truth or dare’ and he replied “Truth.” He knew what he wanted to ask. The fear inside his gut scratched the inside of his casing obsessively. It would never let him forget for long. This was everything he wanted. When would it end? What could he do to stop it?

“What’s one thing you don’t like about me?”

Jack gave him an unimpressed glare and Tenna pouted.

“Seriously?”

He wrung his hands and squeezed his pillow to his chest, shielding himself from the scorn. He hadn’t taken the chance to ask for another hug yet and he was really starting to regret it. It felt safer to ask such things when he was holding something. Holding someone. “It’s a simple question! I just- it’s not unreasonable to want to improve! We all have flaws!” 

Jack’s brows creased in worry and he sighed. He looked so exhausted. Dark bags under his eyes and thick stubble shading his face to look more gaunt than was comfortable. Tenna was sure he hadn’t been eating. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Tenna almost felt bad for keeping him up like this, but Jacky still refused to go to sleep. 

“Ten, you know if there’s something I don’t like, I say something. You really think I’d hang out with someone I thought was annoying?”

Jack was giving him one of his more sarcastic and sour looks and Tenna squirmed. So Jacky liked him. Loved him, maybe! That didn’t mean he didn’t have problems. Things that failed to charm. Something that grated and wore people down until they eventually grew tired and agitated with him. He needed this. He needed to know. If there was anything he needed to change, he needed to know now! Before it ruined EVERYTHING.

He scooted closer to Jacky and gave him his most imploring pout. Jacky was being so sweet to him after all that… nastiness from before. Maybe Tenna was cruel for using his sleep deprivation and worry against him, but he was desperate! 

“Please, Jacky? It doesn’t even have to be something you hate! Just- something I could do more? Or less! I- I know I can be… well, after the show…”

He gripped the pillow against his chest tighter and looked away from Jack. He was so ashamed. He’d been so ugly and horrible. So awfully selfish.

So REAL.

He took a shaking breath. “I know I need to be… better. I hurt you so much. I was selfish and cruel. I almost-“

His voice cracked and he felt his claws dig and tear the fabric under his fingers. He held on tighter anyway.

“I almost lost you, Jacky.”

Tenna jolted as warm hands wrapped around his white knuckle grip on the mangled pillow. He held back a pitiful whimper as Jacky pulled their hands together. The warmth was so soothing, but that made the fear sting all the more. He didn’t want to lose this. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t survive it. 

Jack looked down at their hands, then nodded and squeezed them softly.

“Okay.”

Tenna let out a soft sigh of relief that sounded more wet than he’d like to admit. He was just so desperate. He just needed a hint! Needed something to work with. Jacky was giving him something. Something to fix. Something he could DO. 

“If that’s what you need, Ten. I can give you one.”

Tenna nodded eagerly, his antenna bobbing and clacking together awkwardly. They were dropping in his face and he tried to straighten them out to show he was listening. He was hanging on every word.

Jack kept his gaze on their hands and Tenna squeezed back firmly in encouragement. “Ten, when you did that whole… magic building thing? You really wore yourself out. All those lights and decorations and- all of it! It was crazy!”

Jack turned one of his hands over. Rubbed his thumbs over the creases and curves of his gloved hand and pressed down. Tenna flushed at the deliberate touch. It felt like Jacky was trying to feel him into his memory. Like he was mapping out each detail of his hand so carefully.

“I had no idea you could do all that. I was surprised, but then things went south. You remember? The crying walls and the pain?” Jack kept feeling his hand. Turned his other hand over and put pressure on his knuckles.

Tenna nodded bashfully. “Yes… I- it wasn’t… very sustainable.”

Jack looked up and fixed him with a pleading look. He looked so worried. Heartbroken. Tenna felt his heart clench.

“You almost used all your magic up, Ten. I don’t know how you work, not as much as I want to, but…” 

Jack squeezed his hands tighter. Tenna felt the phantom ache of stage lights searing into his exposed insides. Countless hearts beating from inside his carved out chest. Bleeding himself dry and starving and blind. Ravenous for affection and half mad from it at the same time.

“You almost left me.”

Tenna squeezed back and didn’t bother holding his claws in. Jacky didn’t even flinch. Why would he? Jacky’s nails matched. The sting was more grounding than the memories. Than the trails of inky black that left so many questions unanswered in his circuits and wires like blood and electricity. 

Jack's skin was pale now. Flush pulled right from his skin and into his eyes. Pink with fear and strain and too many sleepless nights alone. “I didn’t know what to do, and you almost-… You were almost gone.”

Tenna hated that he’d left him alone. He wished he could fix this. His magic was supposed to make people happy. It had never felt so primal before. It didn’t even feel like magic, in the moment. It was like his own mind. His own flesh. Like his heart and wires and lungs, beating and shocking and suffocating everything in its way. That couldn’t be right. That wasn't what he was supposed to do. He wasn’t supposed to be real.

“Please don’t use it.”

Tenna pursed his lips. Jack was staring right into his screen. Begging him. Pleading. His hands shook as they held his. Subtly. Barely. Desperately.

“I don’t mean never, Ten, but- please. Please don’t do that anymore. Not unless you need to. Unless you have to. I told you I can’t lose you, remember? I meant it. I don’t know how to get you back if you use it all up. I don’t know if I can. I can’t-“

Tenna tugged on their conjoined hands and pulled Jacky into his arms. Screw asking. He needed this. They both did.

He wrapped himself firmly around Jacky and tried to hide him against his chest. Hide him from his own horrible mess. His own reckless behavior, caught live on air for him to see. Away from the cameras and lights that were all still nestled inside him, waiting to burst out once more. He pressed Jacky against him like a barricade.

“Ask me correctly, Jacky.”

Jack was still trembling and Tenna held him tighter. Maybe if he held tight enough he could squeeze it out. The memory would shatter and they could both be free.

“Truth or dare, Ten?”

Tenna didn’t bother pretending to think it over.

“Dare.”

Jack wrapped his arms around him and Tenna felt his dull nails scrape against his metal frame.

“No more magic, Ten. Not for a show. Not for anyone else.”

Tenna wrapped his tail around Jacky’s neck and pressed his face into his shoulder. Felt Jacky’s hold match his and then some, tighter and constricting and desperate. Nails and tense cords and muscles. Every strain to grip tighter. Just like him. They were a perfect pair. 

Jack’s voice vibrated through his cord as it tightened around the adam’s apple. “Promise?”

Tenna tried to ignore the darkness that writhed and pulsed at the confinement. It was much stronger now. Practically overflowing. He must have made quite the impression, if all those people from FreeMantle were still feeding him so much love, even now. Mixed with his new family’s appreciation, it was more love than he’d ever had access to. He didn’t care about any of them now, though. He had Jacky’s affection feeding him something much more substantial. So close to who he wanted. Why would he dare for more?

“Okay. I can do that, Jacky. Whatever you need.”

He could do that. Who needed magic anyway? Certainly not Lighteners. They barely used the stuff. Not like Darkeners at all. Nothing like Tenna. Magic stuck and flashed at the edges of his form like shadows. He could feel it gripping the room, ready to swallow up the spaces between and the spaces above at a moment's notice. A new set. A new show. A new audience. Just a snap of the fingers and a smile. The sound of the dark fountain within, loud like a waterfall crashing and flashing and roaring like a standing ovation. 

Jacky hissed into his vents. “Promise me. Never again, Ten.”

Tenna listened to the soft sound of Jacky’s breathing and nodded. He pulled it back. Let himself shrink down to a more average 6 foot and pulled his shadows back into proportion. He didn’t need it. He didn’t need the show anymore. He didn’t need the stage. He just needed this. Just them. Jacky wouldn’t leave him, and neither would Tenna. They would both stay. 

Tenna smiled and swallowed the black bile down for good. He didn’t need it. It was nothing but trouble. It hurt people. He was never supposed to hurt Lighteners. He wasn’t supposed to make them sad. Or scared. He was Jacky’s and Jacky wanted him to stay and Tenna wanted to stay. To be wanted like this. To be loved. So badly. 

“Never again, Jacky.”

Magic was a bane. It always had been. His magic had never worked right. It never made people happy. Not for long. Never enough. Not really. Not when it mattered most. It was useless. He didn’t need it. It was worse now too. Ugly and raw and REAL in a way that made his insides squirm. It was too much like him now. Visceral and feral. Hungry and controlling. He couldn’t be trusted with it anymore.

Tenna focused on solidifying himself. Nailed down each facet of his being to something solid and light. To the man in his arms with nails to spare. No more flux. No more, too much and too little and never enough. He would stay like this. He would play this role and he would never stray. Not again. Not like his other ones. He had never been a good boss. Never been a good entertainer. Never been a good Darkener. He was better like this. He was better as a friend. Better with Jacky. 

Better living like a Lightener.

Jack’s hold didn’t loosen, and neither did Tenna’s. Nails digging into each other and teeth bared. Hands that left bruises so complete they left imprints of palm lines and prophecies on each other. Something snarling and cackling, holding something rushing and roaring. Holding each other back and bending each other into shape. Tense and strained to their absolute limits, they were unmoving and present. They were together now. They were complete.

They were both the most relaxed they had ever been. 

“I promise.”

Tenna loosened his tail’s grip and let it slide under Jacky’s chin before wrapping loosely around his arm. “You’re my favorite viewer anyway. Who needs a show and fancy sets when I have an eager audience all to myself?”

He pulled away and smiled as Jacky stuttered and flushed. Flirting was fun~ His tail wagged and he watched his shadow follow his movements like a mirror. No growing. No flowers. Nothing leaked out.

“Truth or dare, Jacky~?”

Jacky had looked relieved then. Like he’d gotten exactly what he’d wanted. They’d cuddled and played and finally, sometime after midnight, Jacky had finally passed out in his arms. Didn’t even try to make an excuse to move back to the couch. Tenna felt a thrill at that. He got to hold him as long as he liked. Tell him how much he meant to him. And Jacky felt the same! 

It was perfect!

He ignored the needy thing in his chest that corrected him. Shamed him for his cowardice. He didn’t ask for everything he wanted. Didn’t tell Jacky the entire truth. But why should he? Jacky wouldn’t understand how Lighteners and Darkeners were supposed to work. Not really. And Tenna didn’t want him to. If he did, then he’d definitely- No! He couldn’t know. Tenna wanted this too badly. He refused to let it be ruined. He could play Lightener if that was what Jacky wanted. He loved playing. It could just be another game.

What had he been thinking again?

Oh yeah. Perfection.

So, not perfect, but as perfect as he could manage. As perfect as he was allowed. Maybe they weren’t EXACTLY the same, but they were terrified of being apart, and that’s all that mattered! 

Jacky wouldn’t leave him and he didn’t want Tenna to leave either.

Tenna purred harder and tightened his tail around Jacky’s leg happily. Maybe this was heaven. If it was, it was even better than he’d ever imagined it would be. Getting to feel warm and cozy and close with Jacky was so nice. He almost didn’t want to leave, but.. Still, if he remembered correctly, it was a Saturday. He needed to go grocery shopping today. How late had they slept in?

Tenna looked up at the window. The sun was out. A little sliver of light broke through the beaten up curtains and landed on the far wall. He checked his internal clock and winced. Oh crap. He was going to be late. Sal would have a fit!

Time to get up.

Tenna sighed and pulled his arms out from around Jacky’s chest. Unwinded his tail from his leg and winced as Jacky's knee pinched it. Pried his legs from out of the tangle they’d made together last night and flushed in embarrassment. Maybe he should ask next game if he was being too clingy. Being smothered by him, even at Tenna’s current size, couldn't be comfortable. The man groaned again and rolled over, wrapping himself up in more blankets. He buried his face in his pillow and let out a soft snort. Tenna wished he had a camera. He looked so cute all wrapped up!

He managed to drag himself away from the precious sight and started getting ready. Walked into the closet and tugged off his sleep shirt and pants. He tossed them into the hamper quickly and started rummaging though his clothes. Quickly, quickly! He almost snapped his fingers, then frowned and dropped his hand. He held back from using his magic to quick change and sighed. None of that, now. Jacky didn’t like it anymore. 

He cringed at the thought and threw on a plain white dress shirt and tugged on a pair of pants that were the least wrinkled in the bunch. He’d need to hurry if he didn’t want to be too late. On the other hand, Sal would be able to tell if he rushed and he didn’t want his first time seeing him after… things, to be any more stressful than they were going to be!

He picked the first tie he touched and paused. It was the baseball tie Austin got him. Tenna fumbled with the fabric nervously. He really hoped Jonny and Austin were okay. Apparently when he’d been asleep, Jacky had gotten them both to visit him. He couldn’t remember it, but it made him feel a little better to know they still wanted to see him after his big screw up. He’d HATE to have pushed them away with his behavior. Worryingly, neither of them had called him since and he just felt so… 

Scared.

He pressed his claws into his palms and held his breath. He could call them after he saw Sal. Apologize. Fix things. Hopefully, Sal hadn't seen the show on the news, and he could try and explain things before he got the wrong idea. Before Jonny and Austin told him what they saw. He felt his nerves buzz painfully at the thought. Just how much had they seen? Jacky didn’t tell him much about what happened after. Just told him things were going to be okay. That he’d keep him safe. Tenna hadn’t left the apartment since…

Scared. 

He bit his lip and shook the thoughts away. Let the taste of ozone and static fill his mouth until the sour taste of guilt and failure were washed away. He dug his claws a little deeper into his palms until a hiss of pain escaped him and he finally felt himself reset. Let out a breath he didn’t need. Now his screen and hands hurt, but he felt less distracted. More eager to feel better. He went back to the task at hand. He needed to go. He quickly adjusted his tie and tried to keep it looking neat as he looked around the bedroom for his nice jacket. A dark burgundy one Jacky had gotten him last month. It was getting chilly and Tenna would really prefer-

“Ten…?”

Jacky’s voice was soft and rough in the mornings. He was usually so loud and brash, but clear and focused with his delivery. It was the instrument of his legacy. A powerful tool for destruction and good alike. His calling card. His claim to fame. Tenna would never get tired of that voice. The deep rumbling of it. Especially like that.

Ryder wobbled slightly as he rose, clawing clumsily at the comforter that he’d trapped himself in. His eyes looked to be fused shut and he was sneering at the morning light like it had asked him to kiss Clark Kent at knife point. His hair was a bird's nest and a shiny trail down his chin confirmed what Tenna had suspected the wet spot on the back of his hand to be.

“Where’re you goin’?” He croaked.

Tenna was so in love he didn’t even realize he’d started wagging his tail until it hit his leg. Hard.

Ouch.

He snagged his tail and pinched it in reprimand. “Just going grocery shopping! Sal’s probably expecting me, since it’s almost 12 and I’m-”

“NO!”

Tenna froze as Jacky flailed. He windmilled his arms and he fell out of the bed and dragged their pillows and the comforter with it. His curses were muffled as he yanked the covering off his head and tried to stand. “I-I mean! Not alone! Without me!”

Tenna grimaced as Jacky stumbled on the comforter, then knocked his knee against the bed frame HARD. The resounding thunk as metal and bone collided was as loud as it was painful, if Jacky’s squeak of agony was any indication. Tenna ran up to him and tried to lead him back to bed.

“Jacky, relax! I can go and you can just- just sit down and have some coffee. I can make breakfast when I get back. Anything you want! Doesn’t that sound nice?”

Jacky shook his head no, face red from the strain of holding back some very choice words, if Tenna knew him. And he liked to think he did. Why was he so insistent on coming? He never liked going before. And he had obviously wanted to sleep in!

Jack finally let out a weak “Fuck…” and composed himself enough to fake a smile. “Just… give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready. Don’t leave me, okay?”

Tenna sighed but relented. How could he say no to that? He didn’t exactly hate the idea of Jacky shopping with him. He loved spending time with him, and if Jacky was there he could get more things he liked. He just hoped Sal wouldn’t be too upset about his tardiness. Or start another fight with Jacky. They seemed to make a sport out of bickering whenever they had the chance.

“I’ll be by the door. Don’t rush too much, okay? I can’t carry you and the groceries if you hurt yourself again.”

Jacky laughed and nodded. He still looked frazzled. Rubbing his face and limping to the closet to get dressed, Jacky mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘...carry me anytime you want’. 

Tenna let his smile fall and pursed his lips. Had leaving without telling Jacky startled him that much? He felt so guilty. It had only been a day since he woke up, but Jacky still seemed so worried about him. Looked at him sometimes like he was going to… act out again. Tenna swallowed down the bile that thought pushed up. How humiliating. He should have been more considerate. Poor Jacky had waited a week for him to wake up after all that nastiness before. He shouldn’t worry him so much!

He worried his lip again as he recalled just why he was so anxious about seeing Sal in the first place. He’d gotten his family roped into his little plan and totally lost control of the whole operation. Would he be mad? What if Austin and Jonny had already told him everything? He gripped his arm and dug his claws in, hoping the sting would pull his thoughts back. It wasn’t working. He still felt so scared! So stupid! Why had he let them get so involved? What if they hated him now? What if they never wanted to see him again? What if Sal kicked him out of the family?!

“Shit! Ten, have you seen my shoes?!”

Fuck!

He cursed softly as he bit down in surprise and his lip split. The soft sound of glass crushed between teeth mixed with his static hiss. A dribble of sizzling blackness started to trail down his screen and he hastily wiped it away. No! He was making such a mess! He quickly reset his face and unlatched his claws from his arm. Tiny black dots that peeked through the fabric from where he’d pierced his metal casing underneath, He’d torn little holes in his nice shirt, too. Gotten the fingertips of his gloves dirty. Way to go, Tenna. What else can you ruin this week? He licked his newly re-formed lips and held his breath. Get a hold of yourself. You needed to calm down. He was fine. Things would be fine. 

Jacky promised. 

He looked at the living room and sighed at the sight of two shoes tossed onto the couch and floor respectively. For any sane person, the places Jack Ryder tossed his shoes would be impossible to miss. He grabbed the both of them just as Jacky slid out of the room, socks gliding across the kitchen tiles.

“There they are! 

Tenna tossed them to Jacky and grabbed his tote bag just as the sound of Jacky dropping one of the shoes answered him. He tried to hide his smile as the man kept fumbling with the things and tying them as quickly as possible. Tenna was sure the sloppy lacework would be coming undone as soon as they left the front door.

“Alright, alright, I’m ready! Let’s go get some overpriced pasta!”

Tenna pouted and gave Jack a disapproving glare. “Jacky! It’s not overpriced! Sal works very hard to get only the best! It’s authentic!”

Jacky  scoffed and returned his glare playfully. “Yeah, sure he does.”

Tenna perked up as Jacky jiggled the car keys at him and grinned. “Excited to get a real ride to the store for once? You know, I can start giving you the princess treatment from now on if you want? No more lugging around all that food on your lonesome.”

Tenna giggled and felt his tail flick through the air happily. Jacky was being so sweet to him. It was almost too much!

“I’d hate to be a bother, Jacky. I don’t want to make you work on your days off!”

Jack opened the door and rolled his eyes at Tenna from over his shoulder. Spun his keys on his finger as Tenna followed him.

“Truth or Dare, Ten.”

Tenna flushed and his tail wagged even harder. The swish of it whistled through the air and he felt his screen get brighter. Truth or Dare! During the day? Outside?! He felt his eagerness war with his anxiety. What if it went too far? What if he asked something too personal? What if he dared Tenna to hug him again!? They were in public! 

“Ten, you gonna choose?”

They reached the car and Tenna flushed as Jacky held the door open for him. Tried not to swoon at the gesture. He was being such a gentleman~

“Um… h-how about truth?”

Jack smiled a knowing grin and Tenna like he’d passed some kind of test. Like Jacky had expected him to say that. Knew he would stick with the safe choice. It was always like that when they played together. Jacky was always the more daring one. It felt comforting to know that Jacky was aware of that fact as well. Hopefully that meant he’d go easy on him.

“Tenna, do you want to spend more time with me?”

Tenna let out an embarrassed laugh and held his hands up to cover his flushing screen. Jacky started the car and laughed along. So much for going easy on him! He was too direct! He should know by now what Tenna would say. How was that question fair?

“I- we-well, obviously I do! We’ve talked about this! You know… of course I do.”

He turned his screen away and tried to look busy watching the scenery pass by. The hustle and bustle of the neighborhood was more distant from the seat of a car. Walking usually let him take the city in at a more leisurely pace. Appreciating the people and architecture in person. Now it felt muffled. Signs with cute (and crude) graffiti he’d memorized and buildings with cats and plants in the windows were nothing but blurs. The air wasn’t tinged with smog or the faint scents of people and cars and rain. It was a chilly day, and Jacky hadn’t turned on the air conditioner. All Tenna could smell was Jacky.

“Then I’m driving you to the store from now on. Maybe we can do some more errands too. Cause I’m just so generous. You’re welcome!”

Tenna huffed out a flustered sigh and nodded. He’d be fine with that. He was more than happy to spend time with Jacky. Out in public together. Just the two of them. 

Oh, he was relentless!

He felt his nerves spike as the deli quickly came into view. It was much faster by car, for sure. He thought he’d have more time to prepare! He felt himself tense as they got closer. It was open, but more concerningly… Sal was waiting. Outside. 

“Well, well, well... Looks like we have a welcoming committee, Angel.”

And he did NOT look happy.

Tenna’s antenna curled back. Oh no. Sal looked really upset. Sal stood in front of the entrance, arms akimbo and deep wrinkles on his brow as they pulled up next to the deli. His frown was catastrophic. Nose wrinkled and eyes trained on their car like he was trying to burn a hole in the metal with his eyes alone. Tenna was almost tempted to ask Jacky to drive them back home and just forget the whole thing. Sal had DEFINITELY seen the news.

He curled his tail around Jacky's leg and hunched himself down. He was sacred. Was Sal angry? HOW angry? He felt his form try to shrink and held it back. He wasn’t supposed to. Be normal, Tenna! Jacky unlatched his seatbelt and gave Tenna a confident smile. He tried to return it, even though he felt it was more nervous than he’d like.

“Let’s get this over with, huh?”

Jacky stepped around the car and pulled Tenna’s side open. He crawled out and found himself hiding behind Jacky before he even realized it. His tail wrapped back around Jacky’s leg and held him even tighter. Desperate for some form of comfort as the inevitable approached. He swallowed down the urge to shrink as they got within talking distance. Sal looked even scarier from up close! 

Jacky threw his hands out and greeted Sal with an air of familiarity and friendliness that was clearly overdone for effect.

“Hey, Sal! Don’t tell me you wait for all your customers like that? No wonder you never get any business. With a face like that, you probably don’t even need to have a closed sign.”

Sal shoved Ryder aside just as he came close and stomped over to Tenna. He felt his body freeze in fear and his tail tugged painfully as Jacky stumbled out of his hold.

“Tenna.”

Tenna felt his display fizzle and blur. He was too scared. He looked so mad. He sounded so angry. Oh god!

“H-hello, Sal! I- I’m so-”

Sal cut him off with a solid hand and shook his head.

“Go home, Tenna.”

What?

Before he could manage to compose himself into giving a response, Jack growled and stomped right back in front of Sal. “What that fuck, Sal? We just got-”

Sal pressed one solid finger into Jack's chest, still not taking his eyes off Tenna’s screen. “Go home. Both of you. You’re banned.”

Tenna choked on a gasp. His tail made a dull thump as it hit the pavement and he sagged where he stood. Banned. He was banned. Sal was banning him. From the deli. Banned!

Jack scoffed and slapped the finger away. “Yeah right. We’re the only one’s keeping your shitty excuse for a deli in business in the first place, Sal. Banned my ass. Just let us get our shit and we’ll recede faster than your hairline, huh?”

Sal didn’t react. Tenna felt his gut drop like a trap door as he kept his glare right on his screen. Sal always took the bait. When Jacky threw barbs and jabs, Sal always got upset, or annoyed, or even laughed. He would always react. He loved suffering through arguments and talks alike. He did.

Sal narrowed his eyes and pointed back to the car. “Go home, Tenna. Dinners canceled until further notice. You can come back next month.”

Looks like he’d suffered enough. 

Tenna felt his display finally flick off and he nodded, antenna drooping as he trudged back to the car. He could hear Jacky raising his voice and saying something decidedly foul, but Tenna couldn’t hear it well. His static was too loud. His audio processors were filled with white noise. His vision was whited out. It was all white. He fumbled with the car door and slumped into his seat.

Banned.

Sal must be so disappointed with him. Angry with him. He’d trusted him. He’d even helped him and made all those deli platters! He’d totally betrayed his trust. Tenna had never told him what they were really for. Just another show, he’d said! How horrible. Tenna had used him and for what? The show had gone horribly. He’d used his poor family for his own twisted needs and now, now-!

“I’m s-such a terrible friend…”

He felt his breath hitch and he buried his screen in his hands. He wanted to go home and shut off forever. He was such a fuck up. He’d ruined it. He ruined it again. He worried his lip and held back tears. This was his worst nightmare. Why were they still here? Where was Jacky?

He peeked through the car’s tinted windows and cringed. They were yelling at each other. Faces red and spittle flying as they got in each other's faces. Tenna wished Jacky wouldn’t make a scene on his behalf. He wasn’t worth it. More importantly, they were in public. He was going to make the neighborhood hate him even more than they already did with the racket he was making.

Suddenly, Jacky tugged Sal closer. Tenna jolted and scrambled with the door handle. He didn’t want them fighting! He’d never forgive himself if one of them were hurt because of him!

Jacky ducked down, hiding his face besides Sal’s head. He was saying something, but Tenna couldn’t hear it. Sal went still. His face went slack. He looked at Tenna and Tenna froze. He wilted under his piercing gaze. 

He looked… horrified. 

What had Jacky said to him?

Before he could get the door open, they separated. Jacky wiped his hands off and glared at Sal, said something else that was muffled by the door, and then he was heading back to the car. Sal still hadn't moved. He still looked upset. Pale too. Tenna opened the door as Jacky got closer and moved to step out.

“Jacky, is he okay? What happened? Should I-?”

Jack smiled and gently pushed him back into the car. “Don’t sweat it, Ten. He just didn’t have the full story. He’s too riled up right now anyway. Let's give him some time, yeah? There’s a corner store I’ve wanted to take you to anyway. S’where I got your keychain.”

Tenna flicked his screen back on and looked back at Sal. He still hadn’t moved. He wasn’t looking at him anymore. He was looking at the pavement. Hands clenched and posture so stiff it hurt to look at. He must have made him really upset. Why did he always do that to the people he cared about? His fault. Always his fault.

He slid his leg back into the car and nodded. He didn’t want to make things worse. “Okay…”

Jacky quickly slid into the driver's side and started the car. As he pulled out Tenna caught one more look at Sal as he watched them go. He looked so…

Scared.

Jacky sighed and patted his thigh. “Hey, don’t let this get to ya, Ten. He just needs to blow off some steam and he’ll be fine. Probably just worried about you and is showing it in that fucked up Goodman way they’re so famous for. It’s only a month anyway. Barely even that!”

Tenna felt his lips fight to work up a smile at Jacky's attempts at cheering him up. It was sweet, but…

“I’m sorry, Jacky. I know Sal’s your friend too, and I-”

Jack laughed, sharp and cutting. “Friend! Sure, if that’s what you want to call it, Ten. Real good friends.”

Tenna scowled. “I just mean I know you two get along more often now! You have, right? The both of you always talked so much at the dinners! I just- I didn’t mean to ruin that. This whole mess is all my fault. I should have never gotten them involved…”

Jacky took a sharper turn than necessary and kept his eyes on the road. “Yeah, you really shouldn’t have, Ten, but it’s too late for regrets now. You won’t do it again, and they won’t either. That’s all we can do, right?”

Tenna sighed and nodded sadly. He hoped Sal would let him apologize when he saw him again. If… he wanted to see him again. One month sounded so long. What if he changed his mind? What if he never wanted to see him again? He pressed his claws into his palms and raised another to tug at his antenna. It hurt, but he couldn't stop his thoughts from spiraling. What if Sal hadn't heard from Jonny and Austin yet? What if he got angrier when he did? What if he never trusted him again? What if none of them trusted him anymore? What if? What if!?

He pulled harder and felt his vision blur. He wanted to stop thinking but he just couldn’t.

Jacky slowed as they pulled into the parking lot of the 7/11. Tenna saw his hand grab at his arm as it pulled his antenna down the side of his screen. “Hey, Ten? Tenna, hey. Don’t think about him, okay?”

Tenna tried to nod. To reassure Jacky that he was fine. He opened his mouth, but all that escaped was a whine. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t stop!

“How? Jacky, it’s ruined I- He’s- We were friends! He made me part of his family, Jacky! I was a Goodman! I was! He let me into his home! Gave me friends and dinners and food and- and gave me so much and now I just f-f- screwed it all up!”

He pulled his other antenna down and hissed as his face fizzled into angry static. The world tilted and dizzied as he mangled his center of balance. He couldn't smell. He could hear. “He hates me! He never wants to see me again! Once the others know they’ll hate me too! They’ll kick me out of the family and- and- ah-!”

He couldn’t breathe. He let out a choked whine and tugged once more, harder than before. The pain from his antenna finally overpowered his hands and he let them go. They wobbled crookedly around his screen and clacked against his head as he reeled. Too much. Not enough. He hated it! Tenna scrambled with his claws and scratched at his head's casing. He wanted it to stop! 

“I ruined it! I ruined everything! They hate me! They hate me, they hate me they-!”

Jacky’s hands found his and he threaded their fingers together. Squeezed them and held them still. Tenna felt his voice crack and stutter at the interruption.

“Fuck the family, Tenna.”

What? No. Tenna tried to pull away, but Jacky kept his hold firm. He looked so serious.

Tenna felt his hands shaking in his hold. He was buzzing with anxious energy. It felt like his words were being supercharged from the fear. “But-!”

Jacky squeezed again. “Who’s TV are you, huh? Are you Sal’s? Jonny’s? Last I checked, they weren’t the ones that brought you home, were they?”

No. They weren’t. They hadn’t. They… probably never would have. 

Jacky really was the only person who’d take home garbage like him. Care for and keep him. Save him time and time again. Sal and the boys... they really only liked him when he was… like them. Like a Lightener.

What a sobering thought.

Tenna tried to slow his breathing. It was hard. Every gasp was painful and made his chest constrict uncomfortably. He flickered his screen and tried to clear the static that blurred Jacky's face. He wanted to see him. The one who cared so deeply for him. 

“It doesn't matter if they do hate you, Ten, because you have me. You’re my family. How about that, huh? No fuck ups that can get you out of it either. I’m the biggest fuck up my family has. No competition. You’re stuck with me for the long haul, Ten. Till death. Even longer.”

Tenna chuckled weakly. It didn’t matter? Oh, but the very thought that they could… Still. Their family? That sounded so… wonderful~ He flushed and tried to nod. It felt more jerky than he’d like. His antennae still ached. He needed to calm down. Jacky was here. He wasn’t giving him up. 

Jack smiled a crooked grin as Tenna finally started to loosen up. “How about it? Who needs asshats like that anyway? I’m sure they’ll be begging for you back once the months over. Too bad for them, you’ll be at a family dinner with me instead. A Ryder get together. Has a nice ring to it. Tenna Ryder sounds nice, right?”

Tenna felt himself flush at the title. His tail whipped around and smacked the leather seats in his excitement. He was being so forward! Taking his last name? Like they were-!?

“J-Jacky! You don’t have to- I’d be happy just being a part of your family! I don’t need a-all that…”

Jacky just snickered and pulled him closer. They were still holding hands. Still connected. Tenna felt the aches and pains he’d inflicted on himself fade as they got closer. Jacky was being so charming~!

“So? Who do you belong with? The Goodmans or me?”

Tenna flushed and ducked his head. Making him choose… Like it was even a real choice! 

He felt his screen warm and crackle as he flushed a deeper pink. “I belong with you and only you.”

Jacky finally let his hands go and patted his casing. Ran fingers over his antenna and left him dizzy from the soothing touch as he opened the car door and smiled down at him.

“Ding ding ding! That’s the correct answer! Now, lets get this shopping shit done. I wanna get back home for another sleepover. How’s popcorn sound?” 

Tenna felt his mood lift. Another sleepover? More games? Popcorn? 

Yes. That sounded perfect. 

Chapter Text

“I miss you.”

Jack set the screen cleaner down. It wobbled on the uneven surface of the bedroom side table and toppled to the floor. He didn’t bother picking it up. He let the fiber cloth towel fall to the ground as well. He just watched. Waited. That was all he’d been doing for days now. 

Tenna still hadn't woken up.

He was as still as a corpse, laying supine and limp in his bed. Not a single sign of life. Jack felt a wave of dizziness at the painfully familiar sight and slumped to the side of the bed. He didn’t want to lie down on it. He couldn’t fall asleep. Not yet. 

He watched Tenna’s screen for a sign of life. Some static. A smile. A voice. He ran his fingers over it. Caressed Tenna’s screen and ruined the cleaners work almost immediately. It didn’t matter. He’d clean him again. Tenna always looked spotless. He’d kept it up until he came back. 

“I wanna tell ya, Ten…”

He felt his eyes sting as he finally blinked. It burned his eyes and he was thankful they were getting used to being so dry. He tried not to blink too much. He didn’t want to miss a sign. A flicker of light. A flash of white or a twitch of a finger. He didn’t want to miss a thing. Not again. 

“...how much I love you.”

A pause. He held his breath until his lungs were exhausted. Minutes passed. Maybe hours. It didn’t matter. Nothing changed. It was quiet. No movement. He felt his nails dig into the bed and cursed. Useless. It hadn’t worked. Why was nothing working?

“Did you hear that, Angel? I said it. You probably don’t wanna hear that from me, but…”

He laughed. It felt meaningless now. Jack knew he loved him. That had never mattered. He didn’t care about saying it out loud. 

“I love you…”

Tenna’s screen stayed a dull gray. The room was cold and empty. Still and slowly gathering wisps of fabric and skin. Dust motes settled on his casing like little arbiters of death. Jack lifted a shaking hand and waved them away. How dare they? That wasn’t supposed to happen to him. Not to Tenna. Gathering dust. Lonely. Jack swiped the little particles off his bezel and just. 

Kept rubbing.

He never reacted to touch. He wasn’t sleeping. It felt too final for that. It was too heavy to be sleep. 

“I love you, Tenna…”

He wasn’t even breathing.

“I love you. I love you… I love you…”

Jacks voice cracked and shattered. He just wanted Tenna to hear it. To know.

“I miss you, Ten… Please… don’t break your promise. You said you didn’t want to leave me. You promised…”

He was pouring his heart out here. He’d confessed every sin. Every secret and fear to Tenna more than once now. Every hour. Every day. He’d begged. He’d prayed. What else could he do?

“Please… please don’t leave me… I won’t fuck it up this time… I’ll do it right… Just come back…!”

His tears squeezed out from his burning eyes and dotted the yellowed comforter. He pounded on the mattress uselessly. 

“Fuck!”

Why? Something about him made Tenna turn back. Something about him made Tenna better. Why was he still gone? Where was the rest of him? The good parts? The best part? Where was Tenna? What the fuck was he missing?

“What is it?! You want my heart? You fucking have it!“ He pounded his chest so hard he could practically feel the bruises forming. 

His movements jostled Tenna minutely. Barely enough to notice. Not even enough to qualify as a twitch. But Jack noticed. It still wasn’t him. He still wasn't there.

Jack hissed at him. “You’re greedy, you know that? You have all of me, already! What more do you need? Just tell me!”

Tenna didn’t move. Yelling never worked. Anger wasn’t working either. He’d tried this before, hadn’t he? It wouldn’t work this time either, Jack. Why are you still trying?

He took a shuddering breath and pulled himself up. Slumped over the sleeping giant beneath him and pressed his head into his chest. Just a few minutes. He just needed to touch him. To feel him there. He was so fucking tired. Every time he tried to sleep, he just saw-

“IT’S ALL FOR YOU!”

Jack shuddered.

“I didn’t want all that shit, Ten… Whoever told you, you had to do that… I didn’t need it. I don’t. I just need you.” Jack pressed his ear to Tenna’s heart and let his eyes fall closed. He’d hear it. When he started back up again. He’d know.

Jack reached over and pulled Tenna’s limp hand into his own. Tried to ignore the nausea he felt at the dead weight of it. The cold lack of warmth. “You can change your mind, you know? If you wanna leave me Ten, I’ll let you. I won’t be happy but- I’d fucking let you.”

He squeezed the large hand and pressed it to his lips. The metal had no give when he was like this. How had he never realized? Tenna made himself softer. Warmer. Brighter. He was so loving he was formed of the stuff. 

The hand didn’t move. It didn’t squeeze him back. It wasn’t him. 

He felt nothing.

“Just come back first, please? Just let me have one more time, Angel. Just one more chance, okay? I’ll do better. I promise.”

Tenna’s cold body kept silent and still for the hundredth time. In the face of his misery, it was unmoved once more. Jack wouldn't let that deter him. Who needed work? Who needed sleep? Eating? Blinking? Fuck it all.

“I promise.”

Tenna told him he never wanted to leave him. That he never wanted Jack to leave either. The best thing to ever happen to him. The only person who really gave a shit if he lived or died. That’s all he’d asked. Jack could do that. He could stay. He could wait. 

“I love you.”

He would wait with him forever if that’s what Tenna needed. 

He wrapped his arms around Tenna's arm and kept squeezing his hand. Kept talking when he could manage to clear the tears from his throat. Kept begging. Arguing. Confessing. Maybe he’d feel it. Maybe he’d hear him, this time. Maybe. 

Maybe.

“I miss you.”

The world stayed quiet and Jack settled in for another long night.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tenna woke to the ringing of a phone.

He automatically tightened his hold on the mass in his arms. Felt the panic trickle into his gut. He pulled it closer, but his heart sank at the give. Cold. Too soft. This wasn’t Jacky. He tossed aside the pillow he found nestled in his arms and sneered at it. There were no lights coming through the windows. It was still night time.

Where was Jacky?

He could hear one more cut off ring before he heard him. Muffled. A low voice and the soft sound of pacing footsteps. He’d closed the bedroom door behind himself. Why had he left for a call this late? Who was calling?

Tenna felt his stomach roll. Why had he left before the phone rang? Did he know he would be getting a call? Tenna strained his antenna to try and hear what he was saying. Jacky’s voice was angry. He sounded upset. Maybe scared? Who was he talking to? 

He tried to move quietly, pulling the comforter down his side and slipping out of bed. He set his feet down and winced as the worn wood paneling groaned in protest. He was much heavier without his magic. He felt his guilt war with his panic and finally allowed his weight to slip away as he creeped over to the bedroom door. Light footsteps and slow, deliberate breathing.

“-not again. I told you it’s not happening.”

Tenna pressed his antenna to the door and tried to hold his breath. To be as still a possible. He felt like his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. His stomach cramped and rolled with nausea. This felt too familiar. 

“…No. If you need- … I can do that just fine… No, he doesn’t.”

He? 

Tenna dug his nails into the door. Who was that? Who were they talking about? He pulled away and rang his hands out. He was starting to get the shakes again. No more. He didn’t want to hide. His hands still trembled as he grabbed the door knob. He winced as the kitchen light flashed and reflected off his screen and he exited the bedroom.

Jacky’s eyes landed on him and they widened. He didn’t jolt or scramble to hide, though. Just nodded to him and kept talking. “Well, thanks to you, we’re both losing sleep. Fuck off and never call me this late ever again.”

Tenna flinched as Jacky snapped his flip phone close and gave him a tired, apologetic smile.

“Sorry about that, Angel. Was I too loud?”

Tenna felt his gaze lock onto that phone. He couldn’t bring himself to move. Couldn’t find the bravery from before to speak the words he so desperately wanted to say. That phone was calling all his attention. They were so advanced these days. No more cords or wires. Small, compact things that you could slip into your pocket. Barely even noticeable.

It felt like it was sucking all the light from the room.

Jacky frowned and reached out for him. “Hey. It’s okay, Ten. I’m here. C’mere.”

Tenna stumbled into his open arms. Felt the warmth seeping through the stained sleepshirt and shivered. Jacky was here. Why had he even been worried? He tightened his grip and let out a soft sigh of relief.

Jacky huffed and started walking them back to the bedroom. “Sorry I stepped out. Let's get back to bed.”

Tenna swallowed a growl. He didn’t think he could sleep now. Not when that phone was still there. Waiting.

His voice came out more timid than he’d meant it to. “Jacky, who was that? Why were they calling so late?”

Jack grunted as he slid back into bed and weakly tugged Tenna down with him. “Just someone who can’t take a hint, Angel. Promise I’ll put it on silent from now on, okay? To fuckin late for this shit, I swear…”

He let himself be pulled back under the blankets and wrapped his tail around Jacky's leg. They didn’t sound like scam caller. Jacky usually had more fun with those. He’d sounded upset. Like he… knew who he was talking to. 

Tenna fidgeted. “It sounded important, Jacky. What… just what were they saying to you?”

Jack placed the phone on the side table and gave Tenna a tired look. Eyes bags and exhaustion. He felt himself shrivel at that expression. He was being annoying. Jacky just wanted to sleep. Why was he being a burden again?

“Just-… I’m taking care of some loose ends, Ten. Don’t worry about it, okay?” Jacky reached over and hugged him. Pressed his face into his chest and let out an exhausted sigh.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, kay?”

Tenna melted. So affectionate~ He wrapped his arms around Jacky and purred. He was right. If Jacky said it was taken care of then he was fine. He didn’t need to know. 

I didn’t need to know back then either.

He dug his claws into Jack’s back and flicked his screen off. Jacky wasn’t like that. This was different.

“Okay, Jacky. Sweet dreams.”

Jacky grumbled something back and soon, soft snores were all that was left of him. They washed away the echo of ringing and hushed voices like waves smoothing over sand. All was calm once more.

Tenna watched the dark fuzzy outline of the phone on the nightstand. It was still. One blinking light, flashing on and off to show it was charging. Readying for another day of calls. Had Jacky put it on silent yet? Should he check?

Tenna stayed completely still and kept listening to Jacky breathing in his arms. 

He couldn’t move.

He watched that phone for the rest of the night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack had the dream again.

“IT’S ALL FOR YOU!”

He shuddered as the words banged and crashed around his skull. Louder and more distressing than any alarm clock. He cracked his eyes open and groaned. Warm, heavy arms hung limply over his middle and he carefully pulled them off as he got ready to leave the bed.

Tenna let out a soft whine of protest, but relented when Jack pulled off his Indiana Jones maneuver and slipped his pillow into his arms. Tenna sighed and smushed it to his face, inhaling deeply and relaxing once more. Ryder managed to push his grimace into a grin at the sight. Worked every time.

He sighed and shuffled to the bathroom. He hated getting up so early, but Tenna was still insisting on making sure he ate breakfast and had packed lunches, so this was the compromise. Jack woke up early to make both of them breakfast, and Tenna got more time to sleep, before joining him and packing him lunch. Jack still felt like giving Tenna a little more sleep wasn’t nearly enough for his recovery, but it was all Tenna was willing to allow. He wanted to act like he was back to normal, but Jack could see something was still off. Like an exposed nerve. 

He was still trying to hide. 

Dividing up chores had never been something Ryder thought would feel so important to him, but now it felt like life or death. 

“I just know you’ll LOVE it!”

He squeezed his toothpaste too hard and the resounding plop of it hitting his sink was deafening. He wasn’t cleaning that up right now. He shoved the remaining glob of toothpaste into his mouth and focused on the overwhelming taste of mint. Sharp. Cleansing. Let it revive him. 

“After everything. After ALL THIS!”

He spit and turned the sink on. The squeak of the metal under his grip was grating and he just gripped the handle harder. He dropped the toothbrush and tried to catch water. Cold and biting and unforgiving. Slipping through his fingers.

“And you STILL don’t want me.”

He ducked his head down and went under. 

He hated those dreams. Hated them with a fiery passion. Every night he had them he wished he could grab his own brain and strangle it. Squish it and wring it out until the memory of that day was expunged like the parasite it was. It drained him. Dug into him. Drowned him.

“Why am I not surprised?”

Jack was terrified of who he met that day.

Tenna was incredible. He was kind, loving and thoughtful. He worked hard and played harder, never losing focus of his goals or who he was trying to help. He was gorgeous and tall, classy and charming. Charismatic and talented. He was silly and sweet and adorable despite his more imposing appearance.

Jack knew all those things like the back of his eyelids. Warm and dark and comforting. He knew Tenna. He’d really thought he’d known him.

And then he’d opened his eyes.

Tenna was terrified. He was anxious and constantly trying to please others. He was self sacrificing to a fault and always to his own disadvantage. He was obsessive and controlling when he felt cornered. Refused to admit when he was hurting. Refused to stop even at the risk of his own death. He was lonely and easy to knock down if you knew even the most basic things about his ego. He was desperate for attention and even more desperate for love.

Jack pulled his head out from the cold spray and rubbed the water from his eyes. He heard the faint sound of the bedframe creaking. He’d been under too long. He needed to head out soon.

Jack looked into the mirror and saw the arbiter of his own torment.

He hated the reflection. Hated that he knew exactly what Tenna was feeling. Hated even more that Tenna had felt that with him. Hated how close he’d come to losing him. Hated how badly things had gotten right under his fucking nose. 

With his eyes closed.

“Jacky? Do you need anything before you go? Anything specific I can pack you for lunch? We have lots of leftovers!”

Ryder gripped the sinks edge and gave his tormentor a smile. Let his body go lax and sink into the cold and wet.

“Whatever you think sounds good, Ten. Thanks.”

It was his fault. All of it. He had done that to Tenna. Made him feel worthless. Alone. Made him feel SCARED.

“Okay! I’m putting in some jerky as a treat!”

Tenna had almost killed himself. To please him. Entertain him. Make him happy.

“Because you’ve been so good to me!”

Who could say when he’d do it again?

Jack grabbed a towel from the shelf and scraped the water from his skin. He needed to get dressed already. He was ready. He was awake now.

Tenna smiled at him from the kitchen. Already dressed and looking as shiny and new as a dream. As a fairy tale. As an illusion. He held out a lunch bag and set in on the counter gently. He’d drawn a little picture of his face and the words, “Made with love!” On it.

“I also put in a salad. You need more greens, Jacky. Please try to finish it this time.”

Jack smirked and made his way back to the bedroom. He gave Tenna a playful wink. 

“Maybe if you fed it to me I’d actually finish it!”

A laugh. He loved that laugh. He loved that man. He grabbed the first set of clothing he could reach and threw them on. He didn’t want to be late for his performance. 

“Maybe when you get back home. How’s that sound?”

He’d do whatever it took to keep him happy.

“Sounds like a date, Angel.”

He’d do even WORSE to keep him safe.

————————

Tenna felt his claw snap between his teeth. The trickle of black was quickly sucked off and Tenna slipped his glove back on swiftly. He’d been gnawing on it for a few minutes now and the metal finally bending and cracking off his fingertip had surprised him. It was satisfying, if more painful than he’d realized it would be.

It left his finger with a dull, throbbing pain that he immediately zeroed in on. It felt like it was reaching deep into his casing and down into his knuckles. He usually didn’t bite his nails. It was a filthy habit, but better than smoking. He didn’t want to start again. He was really trying to quit. Still. He needed something to chew on right now.

Three calls in three hours. 

He heard his tail slap the hardwood floor and the resounding thwack didn’t even make Jacky pause. He could hear his muffled voice as he droned on with their mystery caller in the other room. He was in the bedroom again. He always stepped away for the calls.

Always.

Tenna watched the door for a few more moments, then raised his hand. He snagged his glove with his teeth and pulled it off again. His pointer finger looked strange, with the little black stump at the tip where a claw was supposed to be retracted. The black fluid had congealed and clotted around the wound, still shining under his screen’s glow. He held up another finger and extended his claw. Grit his static fangs as the tinny sound of an anonymous voice teased his antenna. Middle finger this time. He started gnawing.

Jacky said they wouldn’t call back. Said he’d blocked their number. He’d said it was just someone who wanted to annoy him. What kind of “annoyance” called every hour on the hour for a week straight? Changed numbers to get to him again and again? Every day, he’d hear that phone buzzing and ringing and flashing. Silent mode meant nothing because Jacky always picked up. He always stepped away. He always told Tenna the same thing.

It was nothing to worry about.

Tenna strained his antenna to hear better. He didn’t know the number, so he couldn’t snoop like he so badly wanted to. They were supposed to be watching a movie together. He’d been waiting all alone for the whole day, and now that stupid phone was ruining their evening. Ruining his favorite person with its secrets.

He reached up with his free hand and bent his antenna painfully to the left. Was he even getting any signal with these things?! Why couldn't he hear more? Was Jacky whispering? Why!? What the hell was he talking about?!

He huffed and bit down with as much force as he could muster. The sharp curve of his claw finally gave way and he tugged until it pulled out of his finger completely. The black beading at the tip of his finger scattered dots on his leg as his hand shook. It really hurt. Too much. He couldn’t think. 

Good.

He squeezed his hand and let the throbbing level out his mind. He just needed to calm down. Jacky would be back soon. He still wanted to spend time with him. He still cared. Tenna just needed to remind him why.

Tenna took a deep breath and tried to keep the venom out of his voice as he called out. “Jacky? Are you done? We still haven't finished our movie!”

He heard a soft curse, and then the talking stopped.

Tenna quickly licked his finger of the mess he was making. He didn’t want Jacky to see. He tugged his glove on and winced as the moisture inside snagged on the fabric. Was it still bleeding? He hoped it didn’t stain. He shouldn’t make a mess.

Jack stepped out of the bedroom and gave Tenna a smile. It was strained. He never looked happy after those calls. Just like so many times before, his face was flush, like he’d been getting angry. Tenna squeezed his fingers and felt his hand throb in protest. He shouldn’t ask. Jacky always told him the same thing. He didn’t need to be disappointed again. 

He opened his mouth and asked.

“Who was that, Jacky? What were you talking about?”

Jacky rolled his eyes and waved the phone before shoving it roughly into his pocket. “Same shit different hour, Ten. You’d think they’d get a clue, right?”

Wrong. Tenna nodded and smiled as his guts squirmed. He wanted to puke. He felt so sick it was making him dizzy from the force of it. Who couldn’t get a clue? What was he even denying them? Why were they calling so much? Why did Jacky keep answering? He could just let it ring! Why could he never just LET IT RING?!

Jacky sighed as he slouched back on the couch and scooted closer to him. Slung his arm around him and smiled. “Let's get back to watching this chick flick.”

Tenna felt the solid shard of ice in his gut melt at the touch. Jacky… was probably just dealing with something from work. He had to communicate with lots of people. Not all of them very savory individuals. It was probably just that.

He settled into Jacky’s loose hold and prodded him. “It’s not a ‘chick flick’ Jacky, it’s a romance story! That’s for all ages! All colors and creeds! Who doesn't like a good romance?”

Jack rolled his head into Tenna’s shoulder and scoffed. “Do I look like romantic to you? It has some of the most cliche writing I’ve ever seen! Who actually thinks true love saves the day? That’s a grown woman! She should know better.”

Tenna pouted and pulled his bowl of popcorn into his lap. “I think it’s beautiful! Two people defying all odds and finding a happy ending despite it all? That their love could be so powerful that it changes fate itself? It’s very romantic!”

Jack smiled up at him and leaned harder into his side as he reached for the popcorn. Tenna flushed as he did so deliberately slowly. Jacky was so physical and affectionate these days. It was still so overwhelming. Not that Tenna was complaining. It was like a river in a desert for him. Nothing he wasn’t more than willing to acclimate to.

“Of course you’d be a sap for that magic stuff.” He snickered.

Tenna felt his smile waver at the reminder. Yes. He supposed… He still had a soft spot for it. He certainly hadn’t realized just how much he used magic on the daily until he was suddenly not. It chaffed, on good days. He could almost pretend it was a game. Can you go about your day without growing? Don’t make any sparks or flowers! Try not to add any special effects outside your screen. It was a challenge, but one he was proud to say he had been meeting. 

Other days…

He flexed his hand and felt the ache.

It felt like a phantom limb. It hurt, sometimes, when he really felt it trying to break out. Making word art and props just felt natural. Snapping a costume on or growing a few feet was child play. With all the magic inside him building up, it wanted to flow out. To stretch and be used up and bring smiles and laughs to feed itself all over again. He swallowed the urges down, but they felt like cramps. Or a ringing ear. A buzzing behind his screen. Heartburn in his chest. 

Missing limbs.

“Is that bad?”

Jacky shook his head. An easy smile. He meant that.

“Nah. I like that about you, Ten. Balances me out.”

Tenna purred at the idea. They balanced each other out. How wonderful. Like light and dark. Like the sun and the moon. Like day and night.

He wrapped his tail around Jacky’s ankle and squeezed. “Do you really mean that, Jacky? If that’s the case, then what would happen if you were unbalanced?”

Jacky laughed and grabbed his tail’s plug. Tenna squeaked at the contact. “You and I both know what that’s like. Can’t risk it, Ten! Gotham may not survive.” He pinched his plug between his fingers and wiggled it at him playfully. “Guess you’re just stuck with me, huh? For the good of the populace.”

Tenna nodded, static and interference warping his display as his face flushed a bright pink. His antenna winded together and he felt his mind struggle to find a signal as his mouth floundered to keep up. Jacky was so… so-! 

“I, uh. Y-yes I… Uh-huh~”

He bit his lip as a surge of magic flowed into his screen. The interference persisted as he swallowed it down. He felt so happy. So full of love… but.

No flowers. 

He watched Jacky give him a soft smile before he turned his face back to the screen. He looked relaxed again. Happy. That was Tenna’s doing. He was sure of it. He made Jacky happy. Maybe… Maybe Jacky didn’t dislike all magic, then? Just the big things. The scary things. The violent things. Just the dangerous stuff. He could stop being those things! He could. He could use his magic right, this time. Tenna was magic, and Jacky liked him, so… 

He felt the dark fountain inside him hum with power. He just wanted to use a little. Not all the time. Just a bit. He missed it. It was so full. He could use it right this time. He would make him laugh. He would make him smile. Maybe he could even… 

Tenna kept watching him. He was rolling his eyes at the actors on screen as they cooed sweet nothings to each other. Still leaned into his side and warm. He said he liked it. Tenna knew he promised but… Jacky had said just for a show, right? Not for anyone else.

So could Tenna do it for him?

He kept worrying his lip and let the flower grow slowly. A bright red bud that flickered and flashed. It peeked out the tip of his nose and bloomed. With a small puff, it let out a small burst of glittery pollen and he felt a happy thrill at the sensation. He felt so good~!

He glanced down at Jacky and his smile fell.

Jacky kept watching the screen. He wasn’t looking.

He hadn’t noticed.

Tenna plucked the flower and twirled it between his fingers. He slowly lowered it to Jacky. “This is fine… right?”

Jacky blinked in confusion at him. His eyes landed on the flower and he grinned. “What? That for me?”

Tenna felt himself relax. That smile. That’s what he was after. That’s what it was for. No one else. Just for him.

Of course it was.

*Vrrrr! Vrrrr!*

Tenna felt the vibration in his circuits. He grimaced as Jacky’s smile crumbled and he scowled down at his pocket. No. Please no. 

Not again.

“Sorry, Ten. Gimme a sec.”

Before a protest could leave his lips, Jacky was flipping the phone open and walking out of the room. The cold spot on his side left Tenna shivering. He was gone. Just like that. No more smiles. Not in the face of reality. Not when he heard the ringing.

He was still no match for the fucking phone.

He crushed the flower. It flickered and puffed away in a smattering of pixels. 

Magic really was useless. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack leveled the lawyer with his best death glare. 

The Gazette was not unfamiliar with Jack Ryder getting lawyers sent to his place of work. Hell, some of them practically saw the place as their second home. Jack Ryder was proud to say he knew quite a few of Gotham's best lawyers by name. Even more knew Jack Ryder by name. He was just that fucking great.

“I thought I told your boss I wasn’t signing shit without him with me.”

The lawyer, an older woman with blonde hair that had introduced herself as Miss Staffer, sighed and pulled the papers back. 

“And I thought you told us you wouldn’t let us see him.”

Jack smirked and kicked his feet onto his desk. He felt satisfied as her scowl of distaste as he got his filthy shoes on her precious contracts. They were all going in the trash anyway.

“Exactly.”

She groaned and pushed her char back roughly. No one in the Gazette bothered to look up at the ear piercing shriek it made as metal scraped tile. “We keep having this conversation Mr. Ryder. The damages done are more than enough to file for compensation, and we only want to offer him-”

Jack kicked his foot out and knocked her suitcase to the floor. The papers inside slid across the tiled floors and Jack grit his teeth. These sharks always resorted to threats. He could see right through them.

“If you have any bills, you can send them my way. Other than that? What do you have, huh? You all seem pretty keen on marketing that whole affair like it was all one big misunderstanding! Are you really going to walk back on that after all the PR spinning you’ve been doing? Don’t try and piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining. You’re not going to do shit.”

He stood up and kicked aside another stack of papers on the floor. The lawyer stood her ground. He could almost respect that. He was tough. Probably been around long enough to know what he was like. He’d never encountered her before.

“Just because we’re not filing to press charges does not mean others can’t.”

He felt his hand clam up at that. That was true. If one of Tenna’s audience members decided to sue, or try to bring up criminal charges, the company couldn’t stop them. And there had been so many people.

“His actions had consequences, Mr. Ryder. Did you know that? Does he know that?”

She sighed and ticked a loose lock of hear into the messy bun on her head. “We aren’t trying to make things difficult for either of you, Mr. Ryder. Mr. Hemsworth just wants to offer him an opportunity to do the right thing. He wanted a show? We can give him the chance to-”

Shattering porcelain.

The bullpen stuttered. Heads turned. Fingers typing on keyboards froze. 

Jack’s hand was bleeding. 

The mug he’d grabbed was now nothing but shards. Smashed against his desk, the blood mixed with the cold dregs of coffee that had settled on the bottom of what once had been a perfectly respectable mug. He kept his eyes on her as he pressed his hand down harder. Let the pointed edges mar his palms and mangle his fingers.

The lawyer paled and stepped back. “You- you just-!”

Jack smiled and lifted his hand up. It was an ugly sight. She finally looked away and Jack swept past her. 

He didn’t bother checking if she followed him as he made his way over to Vicki Vale’s desk.

She was typing away and didn’t even have the decency to look up as he waved a bleeding hand to her. “Ryder, you better not get any of that on the floors. We have enough tripping hazards as it is.”

Jack just laughed and then put on his best wounded look. “Where’s your heart, Vale? Can’t you see I’ve sustained a horrible workplace injury? Can’t type up shit like this, now can I? Looks like I’ll have to phone it in for the day while I get all patched up.”

Vicki raised a brow and glanced over his hands suspiciously. “Didn’t you already take a whole week off? What’s the game here, Ryder? Since when does a little blood scare you off work?”

He gave her an exaggerated pout, then let his grimace seep though. “Can’t exactly churn out more Pulitzer prize winning stories when I’m being hounded by the dogs of FreeMantle, now can I? Either she goes, or I do, Vale.”

Vicki felt her mind reel at the audacity. He’d injured himself just to get away from a lawyer? Since when? He loved trading barbs and harassing public defenders and hot shot big money types alike. He’d walked into work with injuries worse than a mangled hand.

“Is that a promise, Ryder?”

His smile gave up the ghost and he let his eyes turn icy. “For this one case? Yeah.”

Okay then.

She gave him a single nod, and out the door he went. He sped walked through the bullpen and resisted the urge to wipe his hand on his shirt. Tenna would have a fit if he saw a stain like that. He gave the shaken lawyer a cold glare as he passed her on the way to the entrance. 

“He’s off limits, Staffer. Tell Hemsworth to drop it. Otherwise? I’ll make him regret it.”

Jack licked the blood off his hand as he turned the steering wheel. He needed to get a hold of his guy at FreeMantle and have him check. He was sure those freaks had been completely enamored with Tenna, but now he wasn't so sure. Maybe they had seen all the death traps and madness and actually registered it. They’d seemed completely out of it by then, but if they spread that shit, Tenna could be in trouble. 

No way was he letting that happen.

He flexed his healing hand and smiled as the last of the gashes sealed themselves shut. Now he just had to make sure he washed the worst of it off before Tenna saw. He always got so frazzled when he injured himself. He felt his smile soften at the memory of each stitch and wasted bandage. No matter how many times he insisted he would heal, Tenna still wanted to play nurse. 

He pulled into the apartment parking lot and let the image of Tenna in a nurse costume carry him home.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I miss you.”

Tenna fiddled with Jacky’s watch. He’d left it on the kitchen counter that morning and forgotten to take it to work the next day. Tenna gazed at the little hands ticking away. It would be another hour until Jacky came home from work. He’d already made dinner and dessert. He’d already cleaned the apartment twice and folded all the laundry. He’d even organized all of Jacky’s papers and files that he always left strewn about the place like confetti on new years day. 

There was nothing left to do but wait.

He wished he could call Jonny. Jonny was such a good listener. He always let Tenna ramble on and on about anything that crossed his mind. He was encouraging and kind and very sweet. Or maybe Austin. He was such a chatter box! He loved to talk about his brother and baseball and whatever new thing he’d seen on the ‘internet’ that he thought Tenna would like. He’d even invite him out for games or smoothies and they had such a wonderful time! Jonny loved to show Tenna all the places he’d worked around town, driving them both though Gotham and letting Tenna see so many new sides to the city! Jonny and Austin were such good friends…

Tenna scratched his arms and squeezed the watch. They still hadn’t called. Neither had Sal. 

Three weeks since his performance and nothing. 

He felt the watch creak in protest as he pressed on the glass face.

Maybe ‘friends’ past tense, then. He didn’t deserve them. He’d been a horrible friend. No wonder he’d had no friends back in TV world. No one wanted to actually hang out with him back then. No one even liked him. Not as a person. Definitely not as a boss! Not even Mike wanted to stay with a screw up like him. Tenna sighed at the memory of his crew.

It was getting very lonely here.

He couldn’t do much without his magic. He used to play with it, when he had nothing else to do. Put on little puppet shows or practice a sketch or a new set. He was actually really… boring without his magic. Just a TV. An old one. One who didn’t know how to use the internet or send an email. One who set off at the slightest hint of unrest, like a twitchy dog. One who was startled to realize just how quickly he’d acclimated to company, now that he didn’t have it anymore. Now that he waited at home every day, with no one to talk to. With no magic, he felt so… glooby.

He glanced at the flatscreen on the living room and sighed. 

He tried to watch TV alone once. 

He was sure she was trying her best. She was… well, he hated to admit it, but she was good. Her picture was clear. She had great speakers and she never fizzled out or lost signal. She was a great TV. He was still trying to resist the urge to push her over some days, but he could appreciate someone who did their job well. He’d sat down after he’d exhausted all the other things he could do to entertain himself and turned it on. Channel surfed. Waited to feel the happy sparks that came with a good distraction.

It fell flat as soon as a commercial on a new phone blasted on.

Tenna had shut the TV off quickly and cursed every laptop and advertisement on the whole planet for existing. He could never escape! He’d turned to the TV then and tried to give her a smile.

“It’s not your fault. I just have… a bad history with phones. And new technology. Lots of things.”

He’d watched her sit silently as he spoke and for the first time, he wished they could actually speak to each other. Maybe she was nice. Maybe they could be friends. Maybe he wouldn’t have to be the only TV with an opinion around the place, if he opened himself up to a real conversation with her. Maybe he wouldn’t have to be alone.

Except he’d realized… She wasn’t really there. 

He didn’t really notice it at first. It was different, in the light world. Everyone was either there, or not. It made sense. That’s how it was supposed to be. You were either there, or you weren’t. 

All except him.

He was both. He shifted. His magic made him amorphous, in a way. He could be big, or he could be small. He could be bright or he could be dark. He could be a TV or he could be… him.

But she wasn’t there. 

He’d tried not to. He didn’t want to rely on his magic for everything anymore. He was trying to grow past that. Like a Lightener. But he was so curious. Why did everything always feel so empty here? Was it because he really was a Lightener now? At least in all the ways that mattered? Were other Darkeners just below him now?

So he’d opened up a bit. Just a little. He’d felt her out and tried to see her. The real her.

There was nothing.

She was empty. A void of life. No love. No ambition. No personality. Nothing. She was never there.

It made him feel sick. 

Maybe she was just too young?

He’d tried with older things. Things he knew Jacky loved. Cared for. Kept and treasured. They had to be there. That love had to go somewhere, right? He wasn’t just loving objects that didn’t- couldn’t love him back, was he? 

Tenna searched every facet of the house for another loving soul and found himself completely alone.

He’d stopped trying after his second go around. He had actually started to get a bit tired, from trying to reach out and connect with so many things and… failing. They were just furniture. Appliances. Plates and clothes and kick knacks. None of them had love. None of them were like him. Tenna was alone.

He’d felt so helpless since then. Tenna had been in denial before. Guilty, but too happy at the same time for his luck. He got to be with his Lightener. To hold him. To help him and live with him in the light world. It felt bitter to remember he was surrounded by so many who would never get that chance. 

Now? 

Now he felt like an alien. He’d never looked at things and just seen… items before. They were all supposed to be people. Or, most of them were. They were loved and then loved their owners in return. They were supposed to make Lighteners happy. What the hell was a normal TV then? Just a tool? Empty, but still bright and loud? Where did all the love go? It was too strange!

He felt out the watch in his hands and was met with yet another void. It was empty. There was no one there. Why had none of them woken up?

Why was he the only one with magic?

*Ping! Ping!*

Tenna yelped and dropped the watch as he yanked his claws out of his arms. He cringed as it clattered to the ground and he quickly pressed his hand to his head. 

“Hello? Mr “Ant” Tenna, speaking!”

“Big Screen..? Is that really you?”

Tenn felt his screen brighten. Austin! 

“Aussie!? It’s so wonderful to hear your voice! How are you doing, Champ? Are you okay? What’s up? What’s going on in cool kids town?”

He heard a small intake of breath, then a long sigh. 

“Oh, thank God! Big Screen! You finally woke up!”

Tenna frowned. Well, obviously? “Sure I did, Big guy! I woke up a while ago. Why?”

He could hear the sound of the phone being rustled around and then-

“Boss! You’re alive!”

Tenna laughed. “Jonny! How are you, Superstar? Yes, I am very alive! Why- heh-”

He bent down and picked up the watch. He’d feel awful if he stepped on it in his excitement. 

“Why are you guys so surprised? Didn’t Sal tell you? I- uh… Well, we talked last week. He saw me!”

Jonny’s breath made static fizzle though his antenna and he rubbed them at the ticklish sensation.

“He hasn’t been talking to any of us since the show, Boss. Every guy who watched your shows or helped out is in the dog house. He’s real mad we all were doing a job without his permission. No worries though. He’ll get over it.”

Tenna wished he could believe that. Still, he felt himself smile. Jonny didn’t sound mad at him. Neither did Austin.

“Are you both alright? I know things got so messy near the end and I- I really want to apologize for that! I don’t know what happened! Really! It was- and that’s no excuse of course. I’m really so terribly sorry. I never wanted to put either of you in danger.”

He started pacing as he spoke. They had to believe him. He really didn’t know what happened. Not near the end. It had all been a blur. A messy, painful and frightening blur. He didn’t know what his magic had done. 

He didn’t want to.

“It’s okay, Big Screen! We’re more worried about you! You blacked out again, right? Ryder was freaking out! You were out for way longer this time, too. Me and Jonny have been waiting for him to let us know when you woke up.”

Oh.

Tenna tried to wrap his head around that. Jacky had told him that. They’d visited him. He hadn't told him he’d promised to let them know about his recovery, though. Why hadn’t he told them he was awake? Or him? He would have loved to call them! 

“I just… I was getting worried. Like, What if you were in a coma or something? So I called you. I just had to know if it would work! I don’t know… I wanted to see if it would wake you up, maybe…?”

Tenna smiled. He was such a sweet kid. “I’m sorry I worried you two so much… You don’t have to worry anymore though. I’m not doing anymore magic after that debacle!”

He heard a put out ‘awww” from Austin. Jonny’s gruff voice took over the call again. “If that’s what you think is right, Boss. Just let us know if you need anything else, okay? I’m still your right hand man, no matter what.”

Tenna felt a flower try and bloom and he quashed it down. He felt a seed of bitter resentment try and wiggle through his joy at the reflex. No one could even see. Who was that flower for? Useless. He wrinkled his nose and tried to reorient. Jonny. Focus on Jonny.

“Thank you Jonny! Thank you both! You two are the best friends a guy could ask for! We should really have a little get together again soon! I miss my T team!”

Austin’s voice squeaked over the sound waves eagerly. “Can we go to the new arcade near the Andy’s? I hear they have a snack bar! They have candy! Gummy bears, Big Screen!”

Tenna laughed and nodded, even if the gesture didn't carry over. “That sounds wonderful! Consider it done, Austin! Jonny-?”

“I’ll be there. I’m pretty good at Pac-Man, Boss. You’ll be impressed.”

Tenna’s grin was so wide he felt it split his screen clean in two. “Perfect! Perfect! How about tomorrow? I’ll be home all day, so come by whenever you like!”

He hopped from foot to foot and wiggled his antenna in joy as they made plans and said their goodbyes. He wished they could talk more, but they both had work. Tenna was fine with that though. Tomorrow! He’d get to see his friends again! After so long! Finally!

He finally ended the call and jumped for joy. 

“Yes-!”

And promptly hit his head on the ceiling. 

Tenna gasped and grabbed his antenna as they scrunched to fit against the ceiling. He’d been growing!? When? How!? He was holding back! He groaned and squeezed himself back to 6 feet, panting as soon as he was done. He’d never had to squash down so much before. Just how big had he gotten? 9 feet? He looked down at the floor and balked at the sight of it covered in flower petals. 

“No…”

He grabbed his nose and winced. Flowers. More than one. Several. So many!

“Seriously?!”

He snarled and ripped them off his face. Waved his hand and vanished the evidence. They were so annoying!

He tugged his antenna down and let out a frustrated growl. He kept messing up! Every day it just got worse! Clothes mending themselves and changing without thought. Pens and utensils manifesting out of thin air on a whim. Confetti and roses. Books and chairs and even notebooks and calculators! He kept making things! Doing things! It was bursting from his seams. He spent most of his days just trying to will it all away again. Half the stuff blended in so naturally with the apartment decor he hadn’t even realized so much of it was all really him.

Jacky never seemed to noticed the new additions. He never looked angry when he saw them. Maybe he didn’t realize? He sometimes liked to imagine Jacky just didn’t have a problem with his magic at all, but he knew that was a delusion. It hurt him. It scared him. Or it just bored him. Sure, he didn't look upset when Tenna accidentally let his magic out in front of him once and a while, but he never looked impressed either. 

He seemed so… distracted lately. Before his show, Jacky seemed charmed by his special effects. Amused or endeared. Nowadays, he was always looking at that stupid phone. Not at the confetti or the colors. Not at Tenna. So it obviously wasn’t making him happy to see him use it anymore. He tried to hide it, but Jacky looked tense. Like he was getting ready for a fight. Or still waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

It was Tenna’s fault. He knew it was! He’d been trying to hold back so much, but Jacky still looked at him like he was- broken? Breaking. Fragile. The magic kept spilling out and it all just reminded him of that show, didn’t it? Why couldn't he be like a Lightener and express himself normally? Why did he have to keep breaking the rules?! Why was his magic so out of control now? Why didn’t it ever make Jacky happy?

You ruin everything!

Tenna knew why Jacky was keeping things from him. He was well aware his big melt down had broken his trust in him. Shone a bright, cold spotlight on his biggest flaws and just how badly he used his magic. Now Jacky knew what a bad TV he’d been in his last home. What a bad Darkener he’d been, acting selfishly and using his magic wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be for him to use for his own personal gain. It was supposed to make his Lighteners happy. To make them smile and laugh.

Now Jacky didn’t think he could handle things anymore. He’d almost drained himself hollow because he’d let himself get carried away! Because he let it run wild and been too greedy. How was Tenna ever supposed to prove him wrong when he couldn’t even control his stupid nose most days? 

He felt the anger drain out of him as exhaustion won out. He was so tired of holding it all in. He was tired of the lonely hours when Jacky was gone at work and Tenna was left by himself. He was tired of the ringing. He was tired of being broken. He let his antenna go and groaned at the dull throbbing they sent through his senses. 

And then the door opened.

Jack Ryder stumbled through the front door, one hand carrying his work bag loosely while the other was clenched around his phone, pressed to his ear. “- yeah. Call me back when you can.”

Tenna seethed at the sight of that phone. Call him back? So much for blocking their number!

Jacky smiled when he caught sight of him and shrugged his jacket off, tossing it to the couch.

“Ten! How’s-?”

He couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Who was that, Jacky?”

Jack’s voice petered off at his question. His smile expired and he looked him up and down. Why? What was he checking?

He tried to sell him that stale grin and shrugged. “Just work, Ten. Don’t worry about it.”

He was lying.

Tenna swallowed down an angry growth spurt. “Really? They sure do seem to call a lot, don’t they? Maybe next time I can talk to them for you. Let them know you need a break from all those calls? I can be very persuasive, Jacky.”

Jacky seemed to tense at his tone. He wasn’t hiding the agitation well, this time. “I think I got it handled, Ten.”

Liar.

He spoke without thinking. He wanted a reaction. 

“Austin called.”

Now he wasn’t smiling at all. He gave Tenna a strained look. “Why’s he calling you? He in trouble or something?”

Tenna pushed away from the kitchen counter and held his watch out. “Nothing like that. He just wanted to check in. Apparently someone promised to let him and Jonny know when I was awake. About two weeks ago? Ring any bells, Jacky?”

Ryder had the decency to at least look guilty. He ignored the watch and kept his eyes on Tenna. A point in his favor. “I never promised shit, Ten. I told them they were on thin ice for pulling the shit they did, and that if you woke up I’d consider not putting the both of them out of their misery for it.”

Tenna crossed his arms. “If you had told me they didn't know, I would have called them as soon as I could! I’ve been going half mad with guilt for no reason!”

Jack scowled. “For them? Why? They knew what they were signing up for and they were happy to help! If anything, they should feel guilty for convincing you to do it!”

Of all the stupid-

“I’m not some kind of idiot, Jacky. They didn’t convince me of anything. It was my idea. Not a good one, true, but… It was my fault. Not theirs.” He curled his claws around the watch and brought it to his chest guiltily. He’d known what he was doing. He was still making up for it. He was trying to fix it.

Jacky’s face fell and he reached for him. “…I don’t think you’re an idiot, Ten. Look, I’m sorry, okay? I should have told them.”

Tenna felt himself loosen at his apology. He looped his tail around one of Jacky’s legs. “It scared me. I thought they hated me. I thought I lost my friends…”

Jacky sighed and hugged him. Rubbed his back slowly and Tenna felt himself warm. “Now that’s just impossible. Hate you? No one can hate you, Angel. You’re perfect.”

But he wasn’t.

His hands were trapped against his chest, still holding that watch. He could feel it ticking down. “But what about Sal? He looked so upset last time. What if he never lets me come back?”

Jacky pulled him closer and scoffed. “He loves you, Ten. He’s just pissy because his crew likes you more than him. You really rallied the troops for your little show, you know? He’ll forgive you once you explain your side. He’s got a soft spot for you.”

Tenna whined as Jacky tried to soothe him. It didn’t feel true, but he wanted to trust him. He wanted to believe. He didn’t want to have ruined things with Sal permanently.

He felt his throat close up and his screen fizzled with static. “I just wish it had never happened. I wish I’d never done it. I’ve made everything so much worse…”

Jacky stiffened then. His arms tensed, and then he pulled away. “We won’t let it happen again. I’ll help you, okay? Everything can go back to what it was. I'll fix it, okay Angel?”

He leveled him with a determined smile. Crooked and desperate, but earnest. A Jack Ryder special. He meant it. He really did. He wanted things to be okay. 

Tenna sniffed and felt a static tear run off the edge of his bezel. “Do- do you really think-?”

*Vrrr! Vrrr!*

He didn't even realize Jacky was halfway across the room until his cold absence was all he had left of him. He was looking at the caller ID in worry. Leaving him alone. Leaving the room. Leaving.

Again.

“Shit! One sec, Ten, I’ve gotta take this.”

No.

“Jacky, wait!”

Jack jerked back and pointed to the phone urgently. One foot already in the bedroom. “Just a minute, okay? I just have to-”

NO.

“Truth or Dare?”

Jack froze. The phone kept vibrating, but his eyes were back on him. 

“...Ten, I can give you an answer in just a sec. Gimme a few and minutes and I’ll-”

NO!

He stepped towards him. He couldn’t help himself. Every inch apart because of that thing felt dangerous. “Please Jacky? I just… Please. Tell me who's calling.”

Jack’s eyes darted back to the phone, then back to Tenna quickly. Still halfway through the door. Still leaving. “Tenna, it’s nothing you need to worry about, okay? I promise I’m taking care of it. That’s all you need to know.”

Tenna felt his magic strain. Grow. Fizzle. Pop. He swallowed the anger and leaned forward, pressing a firm hand on the bedroom door. Keeping it firmly open. “Please tell me. Who are they? What do they want?”

Jack’s voice grew hard. He pressed the vibrating cell into his fist and held is away from him. Backed away from him. “They’re not important, Ten! It’s dangerous, okay? I don’t want you involved in this shit.”

Tenna followed. Kept his hand on the door and felt his tail lash the air, cutting it with a sharp snap. “How?! What are you talking about?! What are they saying to you? Just tell me!”

A steely gaze met his flickering screen. He seemed to get even calmer when he was like this. Why was Tenna the only one who could feel how wrong this was? Why was he the only one getting upset!? “No. I’m putting my foot down, Tenna. You need to stay out of this.”

No! He swallowed down another surge. Shrink. Shrivel. Play a sad violin. Set up some dramatic lighting. Droop and sag and melt away. Jacky was still leaving. He stepped back from him and gripped the phone tight. Tenna felt his throat close up as panic struck. Don’t do that. Don’t hide from me.

Don’t push me away.

His thoughts scrambled for purchase. He needed something. A lifeline. A bargaining chip. A truce.“J-just-...Truth! Truth or Dare! Truth or Dare, Jacky!” His smile cracked but he held out hope. Strangled it in a white knuckle grip.

Please, not again.

Jack's stoney facade chipped at the turn, but he still wasn’t coming back to him. Still holding that phone out of reach and backing away to the closet. Was it still ringing? He was holding it so tight the vibration had been completely smothered. “No it’s- we can play later, Ten. I promise we can”

Tenna took another step forward. “Truth or Dare.”

Jacky took another step back. “No. This isn’t a game, Tenna. I'm not playing with this.”

Tenna lunged for the phone. “Truth or Dare!”

And Jacky lunged for the door. “I’m not-! I’m not paying with your life!”

Tenna stumbled. Felt his core seize and expand. He was running from him! He was hiding. That phone was taking him away! He needed that phone! Tenna had to hear it. He had to know. Why? Who was it? Who!? His speakers shrieked with feedback as his voice hiked up in panic. 

Tenna screamed. 

“PLEASE!”

He fell to his knees. Tenna heaved as a wave of heat surged through him and his magic billowed out. The force of it shattered his screen. It burst through every crack and swallowed the room whole. It just kept pouring out. His face drenched in black and he felt his form soften as he expanded. He dug his claws into the floor boards as they rattled. The walls trembled with him. His body shrank. The air chilled and the lights dimmed. 

“I’M SORRY! I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry, I’m sorry I can’t-! Please! Please, Jacky, please I need to hear it! I need to know! Please, I-I’m so sorry,  please, I can’t do this again! I need to hear! I need to, I need to, I need to I NEED TO!”

Jack looked shocked. Utterly and completely. He’d stopped halfway out the door and was looking at him like he was something terrible. It hurt. It hurt so much. “Tenna… I- I can’t-”

He hiccuped and choked on his tears as the room tilted. His face was nothing but static ooze and glass shards. He tugged his antenna and sobbed. It felt like he was dying all over again. Again and again and again. Everything spun around in cycles and he was trapped in a permanent loop. He wanted out. He wanted off this ride!

“I’m s-sorry…I’m so sorry… I can’t st-stop d-doing this…Don’t g-go, Jacky…Tell me! Please just tell me… I promise I won’t be mad... Wha-whatever it is! Whoever! I p-promise I won’t…”

Tenna felt the room shrink as he tried to bring him closer. The walls curved and cradled them together. He was still spilling his guts. The glass of his screen mending and cracking over and over. He couldn’t seal it. He couldn’t fit. He couldn’t do anything. “Ten… “

“I’ll be good… I’ll be good, I really will! I won’t break the rules anymore, I wo-won’t ever do it again. Please Jacky, I just- I need it… I need to know. Please let me answer the phone…”

A warm hand. He felt his screen tilt up as it carefully held him. “Okay.”

Huh?

Jacky knelt with him. Held his screen in his hand and thumbed away cold static and shards as it soaked them through. “I’ll let you do it, Ten. You can answer the phone.”

A chorus of angels. A bright new star. A happy ending.

He felt the lights flash on. His face reformed and glass mended. Confetti. Flowers. The crowd cheered and he felt a smile cut through the tears melting his face away.

“You-? You will? Jacky! Thank you! O-oh thank you so much! Oh, Jacky I-”

The euphoria was almost too much. He was beyond elated. He felt like he was completely gone with joy. His trembling hands were on Jacky in seconds. Running over his face and neck. Caressing his hair and holding him like the precious treasure he was. So wonderful. So kind. Nothing like him. He really was different!

He pulled his face to his screen and peppered kisses over his eye lids and cheeks fervently. Reverently. His tears wet both their cheeks and he kissed those away too. Smattering praises and thanks between each one. Completely crowding him with adoration.

“Mhn~ Oh, Jacky thank you! Thank you so much, you have no idea-” A kiss to his brow. “You’re a dream! You’re perfect, you’re so-” And one to his nose. “I can’t tell you how happy that- I’ve never felt so relieved!” And one to his chin. “I’m- I’m so sorry! I’ll be better I- I really will, but-” And another. “Thank you! Thank you, Jacky!” Another. “You’re my hero! My savior! I could just-” More. “I love-!“

“Tenna!”

Tenna pulled back, panting as the adrenaline raced through his circuits and left him shaking. The room was emanating a dull pink glow and sparkling. Glitter and flowers and soft, sweet music. Jacky looked lovely in it all. He was flushed bright red and sweating up a storm, but Tenna thought it made him look even better. 

“T-Ten…I-I-! You-!” His eyes widened. Jacky’s face drained of color once more. “Tenna, wait! Your magic!”

Oh no.

He looked around. The flowers. The glitter and the music. He was doing that. It was all him again. The walls and floor were softer. Tilted from his panic and warmer than they should be. He’d even grown a few feet. He hadn’t even realized, but he’d grown so large he’d pulled Jacky into his lap at some point. He felt humiliated. Again. He was still doing it. He just couldn’t stop.

“I’m sorry! I- I can fix it!”

He waved his hand. Pulled the veiny skin off the walls and willed away the effects. He gently lifted Jacky and placed him back on the floor as he shrunk back down to six feet. It felt so cramped now. His joints tried to buckle but he pressed them flat. He was getting too big these days.

Jacky crawled back to him. He pulled him closer and looked him over. He still looked frazzled, his hair falling into his eyes as they scanned him. Tenna pulled a lock of it out of the way as his other hand was grabbed and squeezed.

“You feeling okay, Ten? Was it too much? Does it hurt? You’re- you’re not too tired, right?”

He nodded and felt his form try to shrink more in shame. He’d scared him. He never wanted to scare him. Not again.

“I’m okay, Jacky. I’m fine! It wasn’t too much. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-!”

Jacky waved the apology away. He just pulled him into a hug and sighed. “It’s fine. It’s not your fault. If you’re okay, then- it’s fine. Just don’t… don’t leave, okay? I’m sorry too. I’m a fucking idiot. You were right. No more secrets.”

Tenna hugged him and rubbed his back soothingly. He felt so happy. Why had he even been so upset? He was so blessed. Jacky was so wonderful. Apologizing to him. Forgiving him for breaking his promise. Letting him hear the call. Tenna was so lucky.

“I forgive you. It’s okay, Jacky. You fixed it. It’s okay now.”

Tenna felt one more flower peek through, popping from the point of his nose, before he could seal it all up again. Jacky blinked at the thing, then smiled and plucked it from him.

He twirled the bloom in his fingers carefully. “You keep giving me flowers... If you’re not careful, I’ll think you’re trying to woo me, Angel.” 

Tenna flushed. Suddenly all that kissing was starting to catch up with him. He hadn’t even realized-! Just what had gotten into him?! He’d just felt so relieved. So happy. Jacky didn’t look upset though… Was it okay? Did he… like it? Maybe he did. He wound his tail and Jacky’s thigh and purred. “I guess… I’ll just have to take responsibility, then~”

*Vrrr! Vrrr!*

They froze. The flower crumbled to glittery dust.

Jacky lifted his fist up. The phone was still squeezed in his white knuckle grip, and Tenna could see the way his hand shook from the strain. 

“…Jacky?”

He looked scared. Tenna could see it. Small and frightened. His face paled and he looked at the phone like it would take away everything he loved. He’d stop them. Whoever they were, Tenna would make them pay.

He placed a hand in Jacky’s fist and smiled softly at him. “It’s going to be okay. We’re… we’re a team, right? Always together, never not.”

Jacky cracked. He nodded, a confusing mishmash of emotion he couldn’t parse through twisting and shifting his expression. Tenna slowly pulled the phone from his hand. He was so close. It was still ringing.

He flicked the phone open and felt the silence cut off the buzzing. Curled his antenna down and held the phone up to the sensitive receivers. The line crackled.

“Hello? Tenna, speaking…?”

A breath. Static.

“…I’ve been hoping to hear your voice, Tenna.”

Chapter Text

Jack felt his eyes strain as Tenna’s face set the room aglow. It was pretty easy to tell when he was still awake, especially at night. The light warmed his face and they stared at each other for another minute.

“... So, are we gonna talk about what happened back there, Ten?”

 Tenna’s face flickered. A wave of static washed away his mouth and nose and for a second, he could see the panic there. His tail flicked and snapped. His claws kneaded the comforter anxiously. His antenna bent themselves back and he scrunched his nose. Pulled away from him and nestled against the pillows like he wanted to burrow down and hide away.

“I… suppose. If you really think we need to.” He whispered.

Jack was practically an expert at reading Tenna by now, but even if he wasn’t, he was too expressive to hide his feelings. His body language was screaming where he spoke softly. He didn’t want to talk about it. Jack wished he didn’t have to. He wished they could close their eyes and fall into dreamless sleep while Tenna wrapped around him and smothered everything else. It would probably make Tenna happier if he did. 

“Yeah. I do. I really think we do.”

But Jack Ryder was a reporter down to his core. He could try and ignore his instincts when he was busy dodging FreeMantle or when everything felt soft and safe, but there was a breaking point. Things were in the danger zone. Tenna had fallen apart. Again.

“What set you off, Angel? I know all that didn’t just come out of nowhere. Why were you so scared?”

He couldn’t put this off anymore. There was too much at stake.

Tenna whined and covered his face. Jack felt his heart war with his gut at how cute he was, even when he was obviously distressed. He shifted under the comforter and seemed to curl up more. His mouth was so large the corners still peeked through his fingers, wobbly and nervous.

“I was just-! I got scared… I’m sorry, Jacky. I know I scared you again. I really try not to do that anymore… I couldn’t help it.”

Jack wanted to melt at the sweet, sad sound of him. The way his tail wormed over the blankets and tried to wind around his arm. Instead, he locked his heart down and focused on the substance. It was earnest, but vague. He was dodging the question.

“I know you didn’t mean to, Ten. I’m not mad, I promise. I just need to know what scared you. Why were you scared? What- what was going through your head?”

Tenna squirmed, his claws kneading the comforter more aggressively now. His antenna stayed pulled back. The little kink on them looked sharper. His nose wrinkled more. He looked a little annoyed now. This must be a sore spot.

“It was just a little slip up, okay? I don’t like when- people, keep secrets. It makes me nervous. Who likes being kept in the dark? It- it’s reasonable! I have a right!”

His tail snapped again and the prongs grazed his fore arm, sharp and quick. Jack didn’t flinch.

“Yeah, Ten. I’m sorry about that. Won’t happen again. But back to the point, why did it scare you? You were a wreck, Angel. It wasn’t just a slip, it was a whole mountain slide.”

Fangs. Jack tried to ignore the little spark of interest he felt every time he saw them. Tenna’s face washed with static once more and the hiss sounded deeper than normal. Angry. He really didn’t like that.

“I said I was sorry! Why are you- Am I not saying it right? What are you asking?”

Jack felt a little agitation at the response, but he kept his focus. This wasn’t some asshat politician or celebrity. This was Tenna. He needed to do this right.

Jack pulled himself up in the bed and leveled Tenna with a searching look. “Let me ask this another way, Ten. Why did you say ‘Not again.’?”

The room went dark.

Jack felt his gut drop at the sound of the CRT screen powering down. The subtle whine of it falling silent. He held his breath. Don’t panic. Tenna would be okay. He could help him. He could fix this. He just needed to find what was broken first.

“I… I didn’t… I didn’t say ‘Not again.’ I don’t remember… saying that…”

Jack let his eyes adjust. The only sign of him was the outline of a mouth against deepest black. Darker than the dark around him.

Jack scooted closer. “You’re right. I seem to recall it was actually, ‘I can’t do this again.’. Sounded real important to you too.”

The mouth trembled. He felt his tail slither away and he was sure Tenna had shrunk down a little. He could feel the absence of him.

“I don’t… Jacky, it’s… Can we please not talk about this?”

His voice cracked and it dealt a devastating blow. Jack felt his resolve take serious damage. Tenna sounded so sad.

Jack reached out. Felt around until he finally felt his fingers graze gloved hands, clenched around fabric so tight they felt like lumps of beaten metal. Hard and unyielding. “Right now? Or ever?”

He ran his fingers over his hands until they loosened. Just enough for him to worm his way in and take root.

“Ever.”

Tenna’s hands compressed his own and he let the TV wring him out. Press him flat and dig in. Whatever he needed.

“I’m sorry, Ten, but no. Just think about how I feel, okay? I don’t wanna scare you again. Not like last time. Remember that? We need to figure this out.” 

Another whine. Longer and more strained. Jack waited for him. Listened as his breathing grew faster and deeper until-

“C-Can I hold you? Please?”

He felt his hands get tugged and he nodded, then pulled himself into his arms. Tenna let out a shaky sigh and Jack felt his body tremble. His firm chest raising and falling in stuttered breaths.  It really wasn’t fair. He was supposed to be comforting him, and yet he was the one being held. It was mind boggling. He’d never been held so much in his entire life. 

Tenna pressed his screen into his neck and finally spoke. “You- you know. You know I used to be… I’m not like you, Jacky."

Jack nodded. “Yeah. I know, Ten. You were a normal TV before. You… you said you only existed in a dream.”

Tenna stilled. “I-… maybe I didn't explain it very well. It doesn't matter. What matters is that I- I had a life there. I was a Boss. I had a crew and a set. My show. You remember my show, right?”

He sounded hopeful. Tense. Jack nodded more earnestly. “Best show in town. The good stuff, right?”

He felt him relax. Jack knew how much he loved his show. How proud he was of it. He knew it was probably the kind of prime time TV network executives had wet dreams about. He wished he could have seen it.

“Yes. It was the best. I- I really loved my job. I would have done anything to-”

His breath hitched. Tenna held him tighter. “I needed help.”

Jack felt it. That trickle that ended in a river of new knowledge. The crack that broke the dam. He knew when someone he was questioning was going to spill the goods. He could hear it.

“Tell me, Angel.”

Jack started rubbing his back and neck slowly. Let his nails graze the metal plating between his shoulder blades. Just where he knew he liked it.

“He… he said he would help me. He was supposed to save the show. Make me BIG…”

Jack felt his hackles raise. He? Who the fuck was he?

“I just wanted to make them happy. I would have done anything to keep the family smiling. He never understood that. He didn’t care about anyone. Not even…”

Jack felt his tail wrap around him. Felt his claws prick his skin. Was it strange to find comfort in that? To relish in being coveted?

“And then there was his fucking phone calls.”

His heard Tenna’s voice deepen. The vibration of his voice grew rough with a growl and Jack felt him seethe.

“He had the answer. He knew! Whoever he was calling- They had all the answers! The secret to his success! Why wouldn’t he tell me? I did anything he wanted. I gave him everything!”

Jack dragged his nails down Tenna’ spine and raised his other arms to rub at his antennae. He was getting too swept up in memories. He’d break down again if he kept riling himself up. “It’s okay, Angel. I’m here now. Deep breaths, Ten.”

A whimper. Tenna sagged and something cold and buzzing trailed down his neck. “I- I trusted him. He was supposed to stay, Jacky. He said he wanted to. He promised me. He-”

Tenna pulled back. He brought a hand up and wiped uselessly at his static streams. His face flickered back on and Jack felt his heart break at his devastated grimace. “He lied.”

Jack finally broke. He pressed Tenna’s screen to his neck and shushed him. Pet and smoothed him out as he sobbed. He sounded exhausted. His whole day had been nothing but tears. He’d probably need a few days to recover from this. Fucking FreeMantle. Why did they have to schedule a meeting so soon?

“He left me. He left me, Jacky. He left me. Why did he leave me? Why did he leave? Why did he have to… answer that phone? Why…?”

Jack didn’t answer. He didn’t know. He couldn't. He still didn’t know enough. Not nearly enough. He could fill a decade of news reports with the things he still didn’t know about Tenna. So much about his past, his magic, his pain, that he desperately needed to know. To fix this. To keep him safe. 

Yet the price for that knowledge was torture.

“I’m sorry- I know. I know you’re not like him. You’d never- You’d never, Jacky. I know... I can’t help it. That phone- It’s too much.”

Jack rubbed his antennas down. Smoothed them over his casing and winding them between his fingers. They trembled with the rest of him, curling around his hand and twitching along with his sobs. This was enough. He knew enough for now. Tenna trusted the wrong guy. Lost everything he cared about when he left for a call. That guy had a secret and whatever it was, it left Tenna broken and alone. Phone calls and anonymous benefactors. He knew the type. He knew them very well.

“Never again, Ten. I promise. I don’t want to make you feel like that ever again.”

No more secrets, then. Not so obvious, at least. Tenna had his trust broken before. By someone he cared about. He’d obviously cared quite a bit. Maybe more than just as a friend or a co-worker. Ryder put a pin in that for now. Tenna trusted him, but he wasn’t doing it blind. Or unafraid.

“How about you hold onto the phone for now, Angel? Be my little secretary for the next few days? Would that make you feel better?”

Tenna laughed wetly. “That- that actually would. Is that stupid? I know what the calls were about now, so, I really shouldn't need-”

Jack laughed along and scratched his back again. “Screw that, Ten. We do what we want cause it feels right. None of this need shit. You’re not stupid. Not at all.”

Tenna purred deeply and relaxed against him. His claws kneaded his back slowly. The vibrations and massage immediately set Jack at ease. Those were very happy hands at work. Whatever he’d done to end up here, he hoped he never messed with it. Nothing compared to this. 

Tenna voice rumbled softly into his shoulder as he nuzzled him tiredly. “Thank you again, Jacky… I’m so relieved it’s over now… Now we can finally just… talk things out with Carl and …”

Jack ground his teeth in rage. Fucking FreeMantle. Harassment and threats were supposed to be his gig. He should have been more careful. He should have just thrown his phone out and corresponded entirely by email. Now Tenna was involved. More involved than was safe. Those sharks were circling and as soon as they found a way, they’d go for the kill. 

They’d try and drag Tenna right back to the stage.

“Yeah, just… remember what I said, Ten. You can’t trust these guys. I know you all got close and friendly during your show, but-”

*Click*

His words died as Tenna’s screen flicked off. His chest rose and fell slowly, a soft purr still emanating from him in little bursts. He was completely limp and Jack grunted when he realized he’d been trapped. Tenna had a habit of doing that. Jack hadn’t had the chance to sleep on the couch more than once since he’d woken up after the mess at FreeMantle. Every night he’d manage to wrap himself around him and by the time Jack realized what had happened, it was too late. There was no escaping Tenna’s arms and legs and tail. They were more secure than actual rope and chains.

“I swear you do this on purpose…”

Jack smiled and let himself be pulled down. Heavy and firm, Tenna still moved in his sleep. Small twitches. Creaking joints. Purring and breathing. It was loud. It was constant. It was home

“Goodnight, Angel.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bruce Wayne smiled as Tenna and Jack Ryder opened the boardroom doors.

The room was large. Tall glass windows with views of the city's skyline. A long oaken table that was polished to a mirror shine. Room lights that were just bright enough to see, yet not so blaring as to strain the eyes. 

The two imposing men at the other end of the conference table managed to still look larger than life. Carlton with his blond combover and light blue suit that contrasted well with Mr. Wayne’s black suit and darker hair. Tenna flushed at the sight of him. He’d broadcast enough celebrity news to know what he looked like, but seeing him in person? He’d never met anyone so famous in real life before! He was more handsome in person. He was also very friendly looking.

He’d sounded friendly enough, on the phone.

Mr. Wayne stood and rounded the table with Carlton, smile growing warmer as he held his hand out. “Mr. Tenna. Carlton has told me so much about you! We spoke on the phone yesterday. I’m Bruce Wayne. I co-own FreeMantle with Carlton here.”

Carlton gave him a knowing nod and Tenna smiled politely. He looked good. Very professional. Calm. Not at all like the man he’d made him on his show. 

Mr. Wayne grabbed his hand and shook it. “I have to say, you’re much taller than I expected!”

Tenna laughed and nodded. Made sure to keep his grip light, yet firm enough to match the billionaire’s enthusiasm. “Yes, well. If it makes you uncomfortable, I can always shrink down a bit?”

Mr. Wayne's eyebrows shot up in surprise, then he laughed. “Oh! That’s a joke right? You were funny on the phone too! You don’t have to change a thing Mr.Tenna. We called you here because you’re exactly what we’re looking for, just as you are.”

Mr.Wayne turned to Jack and his smile lessened. Not upset but… more composed. “And Jack Ryder. I’m glad to see you’re both doing well. I sure was surprised you called for a ride that day, but meeting him now…”

He looked back at Tenna. His eyes were so blue. Tenna had never really noticed before but they were piercing in a way he’d never encountered. Cold and hard. They were like ice.

“I can see what all the fuss was about.”

Jack glared at Mr. Wayne. “Only one making a fuss is you, Wayne. If I knew you'd be on my ass after that, I never would have asked.”

Tenna winced and shot Jacky a stern pout. He wasn’t thrilled about all the calls either, but this was Bruce Wayne! When Bruce Wayne asks for a meeting, you go to a damn meeting!

Mr. Wayne didn’t seem phased. He waved Jacky’s venom away like smoke. “And on behalf of my legal department, I’d like to apologise for that.They were more aggressive than I would have liked. It’s certainly not the first impression I wanted to give you, Mr. Tenna. But you have to admit, you’re not exactly an easy man to get a hold of.”

Those eyes were back on him again. Sharp and searching. “And first impressions aren’t everything, right?”

Tenna nodded, his smile straining at the not so subtle reminder. He came for more than a meeting, after all. This was damage control. 

“Well, then! Why don’t you two have a seat?”

Tenna moved to sit down, but Jack reached out and tugged him back. He was staring Mr. Wayne and Carlton down like they had guns aimed at them. “We can stand, Wayne.”

Tenna felt his antenna press back in embarrassment. Jacky had told him he would be keeping things on the straight and narrow, but Tenna had a feeling he was really here to try and rile them up. He really did seem to find their calls annoying. Tenna supposed with how everything ended, he’d still be bitter about it. He really didn’t like people who tried to force him to do things. 

Tenna could respect that. It's what he loved about him. He was always true to himself. No matter what.

Mr. Wayne let the comment pass with casual grace and laughed again. Warm and easy. “Let me start with another apology, then. I have a pressing engagement I need to attend to, so I won’t be able to stay. Not to worry. Carlton and I went over our talking points beforehand, so he’ll be covering it all. You're honestly better off! I’m sure you’ve heard, but I’m not much for the technical side of these things.”

Jacky opened his mouth again and Tenna decided to spare the room from another verbal timebomb. 

“I don’t let those gossip channels color my view of others, Mr. Wayne. You seem like a thoughtful and intelligent man!” He smiled brightly and flashed a few of his interviews for charities on his face. 

He was a very compassionate person, from what Tenna had seen! Not smart in the classic sense, but he always seemed to invest in the right things at the right times. Orphanages. Homeless shelters. Mental health facilities and social services. Sure, he was known for indulging in models and parties enough to get a reputation, but Tenna liked to think it was the lesser of such vices. He was a very powerful man, but he seemed like he was trying his best to make the world a better place. Maybe he was a little ditsy and vain, but kind nonetheless. 

It was a rare find, especially in a billionaire!

Mr. Wayne laughed and ducked his head bashfully. “I’m really not. I just got lucky and ended up in charge of the real talent. Thank you, though. I just hope you know, I’m really excited for you to see our proposal, Mr. Tenna. Gotham knows we worked hard on it.”

*Ring! Ring!*

Tenna flinched and felt his claws sink into his palms on instinct. His screen fizzled for a moment and he shoved a fist into his pocket and felt the phone. Not his. It wasn’t for Jacky. Jacky sent him a worried glance and Tenna flushed in shame. He was really regretting telling Jacky about that. He wasn’t scared. He was fine.

Mr. Wayne pulled a smart phone out of his pocket and winced. “Ah! That’s my cue. Carlton, you’ll let me know how things spin out? Touch base with me if there’s anything we overlooked.”

Carlton gave Mr. Wayne a tired smile. “I genuinely don’t think that’s possible, Bruce. You and those lawyers of yours found every possible issue and covered them so well, I’m still trying to find it all again." He shuffled the files and papers in front of him impatiently.

Mr. Wayne gave another bashful chuckle and backed towards the doors as his phone went off once again. “Any questions you have for me he’ll be sure to pass over. Good luck!”

Tenna felt a mix of endearment and bafflement as the businessman rushed out the doors. He was even more personable than on the phone. Maybe a little too casual, really. He’d seemed so suave on the interviews and gossip channels he’d broadcast, but in person…

Carlton sighed and let out a found chuckle. “Typical Bruce. He’s always rushing off to who knows what. Probably another date. I hope you can forgive him. He really means well.”

Jack scoffed and plopped down on the chairs on the other side of the table. As far from Carlton as possible. Tenna sighed, then decided he’d rather be awkwardly far from Carlton than in separate seating from Jacky. Hopefully he didn’t take it personally. He sat next to Jacky and gave him a reassuring smile. Jacky’s posture seemed to soften as he looked back at him.

Tenna straightened up and steepled his fingers. “Well! Let’s get this show on the road, then! What do you have for us, Mr. Hemsworth?"

Carlton nodded and reached to his side, pulling out a packet of papers and looking them over quickly. “Sure, Tenna. Here’s what all the fuss is about.”

Carlton slid the papers over to him. The soft sounds of wood against softer, thinner wood were faint in the boardroom. The walls echoed them like they were much louder than they really were.

“Three times a week. Contingent on your stay beyond the first 30 days of employment, a pay raise of 35 percent. Salary position with benefits detailed on page two.”

Tenna scanned the text. A Corporate Entertainer. One employed specifically to host FreeMantle’s home office staff and families during weekdays. Three shows a week. Three hour segments. He’d have total creative control. 

Jacky’s hand grabbed one of his and pulled it away from the contract.

“What’s the catch?”

Tenna decided to let the venom in his voice slide. It was a good question.

Carl smiled. He sat back in his chair and sighed. Tenna put the papers down.

“You know we loved your show, Tenna. It was great. Other than the… messy parts at the end. Everyone loved it. Fell in love with it.”

Tenna still didn’t know how to feel about that. He remembered that day so vividly but it had all felt so awful by the end. He still forgot anything else had really happened. The fact that everyone was so happy with the show… it was awkward. He smiled and tried to show as little teeth as possible.

“I’m glad I managed not to muck up my first impression too badly. You all were such a lovely audience!”

Carl smiled at him. Really smiled at him. That was awkward too. The knowing looks. Carl looked at him like he knew him. Really, really knew him. Knew his fears. His insecurities. Tenna held back a shudder. Just how much had he seen? 

He was never connecting with an audience again.

“We couldn’t hate you if we tried, Tenna. That’s… actually why I’m hiring you for this position in the first place.”

He looked down at the folder on his right and flipped it open. His smile lost its shine.

“After the show, morale went down. A lot of people called in. Even more asked about you. They all wanted more… of last time. You know?”

Carlton’s eyes got that look in them. Faraway and dreamy. Tenna used to be proud of inducing that expression. Not after last time. Not anymore.

Jacky squeezed his hand so hard his metal squeaked.

The CEO blinked and it was gone.

“We can’t have a repeat of last time. I’m sure you understand. But we also can’t ignore the demand your show has created.”

He pulled out a stack of pages. Different colors and text fonts. All stapled together and worn.

“We hired a specialist on this type of phenomenon. She told us what I had already assumed. They’re all going through withdrawal.”

Tenna felt his body tense. Withdrawals. He knew what those were. Knew what they were associated with. He felt his heart sink. 

He looked at Jacky for reassurance. He wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at those papers intently. 

And he looked worried. 

Oh no.

“A very specific form of withdrawal, but the effects are still similar enough. Loss of appetite, depression, nausea, headaches, fatigue and anxiety.”

He flipped through the pages one by one and Tenna felt the guilt compound. He’d hurt them. Made them feel worse. His magic made them sick. How could he? He’d HURT them!

“Now, the specialist did say that the most affected parts of the brain seemed to be the dopamine neurotransmitters. That, along with the endorphins released and the high levels of serotonin-“

“Why- why do you want me BACK?!” Tenna's chair creaked as he planted his hands on the conference room table. He felt Jacky’s hand tug him back down quickly. Wouldn't want him standing up and making a scene. 

Carl dropped the packet. His eyes widened at Tenna's expression of horror and he waved his hands quickly.

“Tenna, no. It’s not like that. No one’s in the hospital or at death's door. You went overboard, but this is all fixable.”

What? But they were sick! Depressed! Anxious! 

“They all had lesser forms of these symptoms before the show.”

What?

Carl placed the papers away and folded his hands. He was giving him that knowing look again. Like he knew what he was thinking and was pitying him for it. 

“I can’t give you details that won’t break our privacy laws, but I can assure you that the depression and anxiety, fatigue and the rest were noted by each patient to feel worse after the show. Not caused by the show.”

Tenna looked at Jacky as he looked over the contract Carl had given him. He wanted him to entertain these people again? After that? Why?

“The specialist found that your show and influence gave each individual in attendance their own personal… let’s call it a cocktail. Tailored to each person's needs. People with depression were given dopamine. People with anxiety were given serotonin. People with chronic pain were given endorphins.”

Tenna felt his stomach churn. He hadn’t meant to do that. He didn’t even know what those things did. He just wanted them to feel happy. Calm. Safe. Without pain or fear. Is that what he’d ACTUALLY done?!

Carl snorted and reached into his pocket, then pulled out a small bottle of pills. He shook them at Tenna and laughed. “I actually got my first prescription for anti anxiety meds because of you! Crazy, right?”

Tenna felt like he was going to be sick.

Jacky set the contract down and sneered at it. He looked disappointed. Tenna didn’t know if that was a good sign or a bad one. “So you’re trying to sell him as a drug? Tenna’s not interested in anything other than entertainment, Hemsworth. Does he look like he wants to be a happy pill for you?”

Carlton gave Jack an annoyed smirk. “FreeMantle’s not interested in getting into pharmaceuticals, Ryder. Besides, he’s a little too large for the average citizen to swallow, don’t you think?”

His expression must have broadcast his feelings because Carlton sobered up again.

“The point is, the withdrawals were caused by a myriad of factors. The leading one is simply that you made people feel better, Tenna. Better than they ever knew they could feel. The result is now, a lot of my employees are grappling with either going to therapy and getting a doctor's appointment for some things, or…”

He nodded to the paper.

“It won’t be the same, but we did some tests.”

Tenna leaned back and squeezed Jacky's hand. His lips were pressed in a thin line to keep from blurting out his thoughts. There were too many anyway. He’d never have the time to air them all out. 

Carlton took out a strange, flat device and held it up. The screen flashed on and his performance was mirrored back at him from it. 

“Some people took video of your show with their phones. At least, the first part. We confiscated all of the videos and decided to see our staff's reactions to the show without the influence you initially provided.”

He tapped the screen and the video paused.

“The findings were overwhelmingly positive.”

He swiped the screen and a video of a smiling woman played. She laughed and clapped and wiggled in her seat. The angle suggested the camera was right above her head. She looked like she was in a lab. 

“The staff that attended the show were so happy watching the recording they would regularly ask our staff to have a copy of the show after testing. They asked to watch it again and again. When we monitored their brain activity, they showed what we can assume were similar results as when they first watched your show. Not as strong for sure, but enough for a positive response.”

He swiped again. Another smiling face. They seemed less elated, but still happy.

“We had staff that were unable to attend the show, watch the recording and studied their brain activity as well. They were overwhelmingly positive in their reviews. Their brains also showed a much lesser, but still noticeable increase in those feel good chemicals and neurotransmitters.”

Tenna watched as the screen finally went dark.

“You have a real gift for making people happy, Tenna.”

Carlton set the device back down. He looked into his screen and smiled. 

“I want to bring that to the rest of Gotham.”

Jacky’s hand stiffened in his own. His fingers twitched.

Tenna watched Carlton reach into his folder and pull out another paper. Crisp and new. It looked important. Felt important. There was an air of power that Carlton wielded that only seemed to really assert itself now.

He slid it over to Tenna without fanfare. Tenna snatched it up before it even settled onto the table.

“Every name on that form has the power to make or break your career in showbiz, Tenna. Every signature is a man or woman who could bury you before you could even make it off the ground. Members of my board of directors. The co-owner of GNN. I could go on.”

Tenna’s screen dimmed. Lots of signatures. Lots of foreign names. Even more names that he did know. These were some of the most powerful producers, CEO’s and investors in the business.

“They all agreed.”

Tenna dropped the paper.

“Every signature on that has agreed to invest in your show. A superpowered TV show host who can make his audience happy? Give them a great time? Do anything the people want? Who can churn out numbers like that? They were sold before I even finished the pitch.”

Tenna felt his breath stutter. A show. His show. They really wanted to invest in HIS show? After everything? Even with his appearance? His magic. Because of it?!

Carlton wasn’t done. His smile was gone. In its place was Mr. Hemsworth, CEO of FreeMantle productions. And he didn’t look happy.

“I’m not letting it air until you can show me you’re ready for it.”

Tenna flinched at the cold air that seemed to breeze into the room. So cold!

“Your show was great, but it was also a disaster. A PR nightmare that cost up to one million in damages and cover up. It also lost our company thousands in revenue in lost work hours alone. You lost control. You oversaturated yourself in the crowd and getting our employees healthcare assistance to deal with the withdrawals has cost us even MORE.”

Tenna shrunk down as every price point was nailed into his chest. Jacky scoffed at the numbers, but Tenna didn’t have that confidence. One million? He’d never even seen that much money! He missed his points…

“You let yourself get swayed by the audience, and while I recognize my part in how things ended, we still need to do real, tangible actions to prevent it from happening in the future. It can’t happen again. This isn’t up for discussion.”

Tenna felt like a scolded child. He knew that. Why was everyone so insistent on acting like he’d WANTED that to happen? He’d been just as surprised things took that turn! He felt his magic strain and he held it back, biting his lip. It wouldn’t be pretty, if he did something now. He could feel it. He didn’t want to scare anyone. Or make them worried. He didn’t want to mess up again.

Jacky didn’t speak up. He was being oddly quiet throughout this whole thing. Tenna hoped he wasn’t trying to make up for the phone call debacle. He really meant it when he’d said he wouldn't be mad. He’d rather have someone brash defending him right about now. He watched him from the corner of his screen. Jacky was still looking at the contract. Expression tense and brows pinched.

Tenna squeezed his hand. He was here, at least. That was what was important.

“So… what kind of actions are we talking about, Mr. Hemsworth?”

Carlton seemed to relax at his question. Good. Tenna could be flexible. He could work with a compromise. If they needed him to do something to show he was trustworthy, he could do that! He was no stranger to bending over backwards.

“If you agree, we’ll be putting you down as our Corporate Entertainer for a period of three months. If, in that time, you can show documentation of a successful run with no further issues, then your show will be ready and waiting for you to make your big premiere.”

Tenna almost drooled at the prospect. His show. A REAL show. Entertaining hundreds. Thousands. Millions! His stage, full of lights and laughter once more!

“What do I have to do?”

Carl smiled.

“I am so glad you asked. First off Tenna, have you ever had an agent or a manager before?”

Tenna frowned and shook his head. He knew of them, but never had one of his own. He didn’t really need them. He was always the one calling the shots. He always had the final say. Why add a middle man?

“Well, then I’m sure you’ll be blown away by what I have planned. Tell me, are you partial to any non-human races? I have the entire talent agency world at my fingertips.”

Tena smiled and pulled the contract closer. 

“Do you know any monsters?”

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Tenna straightened his tie and turned to Jack with a flair. His coat tails curled up and he beamed at him, kicking up a leg and clasping his hands together. Did he notice he did that? Just defied physics and made his clothes flutter and emote like a cartoon character? Jack felt himself smile despite his sour mood. He was fucking adorable.

“What do you think? They had it tailor made! Isn't it just groovy?”

Jack had to admit, Carlton didn't skimp on a good tailor. Tenna’s new suit was perfect. It looked just like his old one, in the parts that mattered. Still bright red and form fitting in the best ways. Still had shiny black pants and a flashy yellow tie and shoes. His belt still had a bright, golden buckle of his own face that made Jack chuckle whenever he looked at it too long. 

But that was where the similarities ended. 

While his vintage look was charming, they said he would probably look more modern if they updated the cut and style of his suit. Tenna had seemed sad about the feedback until the costume department sat down with him and walked him through their process. He’d listened intently as they explained what the new style would be, how they wanted to blend his old suit’s style with his new one and even asked what his preferences were on cuff links and color.

“I can see why slim fit would be more appealing! Can we keep the coattails, though? I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I’m exceptionally, eh ,gifted in that area and I don’t want it to distract too much. Besides, it adds to my more active physicality on stage! The movement is very pleasing to the eye. As for the material for the pants, faux leather sounds just fine! Well- hah! I said I didn’t want it to distract too much, but, I mean. If you have it, why not flaunt it, right?”

Jack had been enthralled. 

He’d tagged along to make sure this whole production didn’t go sour, but instead he’d been blown away by Tenna in his true element. He was charming and thoughtful. Experienced and quick. Whenever someone spoke to him about the show, he gave them his full attention, asking questions and giving insight and feedback that only a seasoned professional would. The staff was wowed by him. Once something was explained, he latched on and ran with it. The stage for his performances was the first thing he’d taken over.

“We need more lighting near the ends of the stage, if you please. I move quite a lot during my shows, so these edges need more exposure. Can we have Best Boy here coordinate with the Gaffer on that? Who’s the sound guy? Is he the one who set up those “wireless” microphones? How’s the signal on those? Can we do a check?”

He directed the set hands like a conductor and meshed with each department like he’d known them for years. The employees here were smitten. Jack saw them fawn over him and simper when he spoke constantly. He’d been surprised to learn that none of them actually attended Tenna’s show. They were from other locations. Some were even from other companies.

Carlton had insisted that none of the audience from the show ever work directly with Tenna.

Jack felt his jaw click as he ground his teeth. It was a bad sign. Carlton refused to give him any of the research documents he’d gone on about during that meeting. HIPPA violations and all that. All those tests. All that evidence of what Tenna’s magic had actually done to people. And it was still under lock and key in some company safe. Jack knew what that meant. 

The research was still ongoing.

What the hell had Bruce done? All those calls and never once had he or his stupid legal team ever mentioned any of that science shit. In only three weeks, all that research must have been greenlit and started before Tenna had even woken up! And those results? It was too clean. Too easy and way too convenient. He’d done a hard spin on those withdrawal symptoms for sure. Jack would bet his ass Bruce had run straight to Hemsworth the minute he left his Batcave and played his little “Concerned and wealthy” bit for him. Probably funded and promoted the whole thing himself! 

And now they wanted Tenna to work for them? Fat chance. There was a hidden motive for everything Bruce did, hero or not. Every charity had a purpose. Every donation to the sciences was just another investment into one more gadget for his little utility belt. There was no doubt in Jack's mind he was still testing and poking his way through employees' minds about that show, looking for weaknesses and anomalies. He either saw Tenna as a potential threat, or a potential tool. He was trying to understand what made him tick, but more concerningly, with everything he’d slipped into that contract? 

Tenna was being put under surveillance. 

Three days a week he’d be here, surrounded by staff and PA’s and adoring fans. Eight hours a day, being tailed by that new agent Hemsworth had hired and some undercover psycho-analyst Tenna was now forced to have. Four hundred and eighty minutes, three hours a day, surrounded by the hungry, tired masses, desperate to feel happy and safe once more. Twenty eight thousand and eight hundred seconds for another chance to break under the pressure and give Bruce all the evidence he needed to steal Tenna away for good.

And Jack couldn’t do shit about it.

He’d known as soon as Carlton made the offer that Tenna would say yes. He could try and deter him, hell, he HAD, but Tenna had pushed back with surprising force considering the night before. He’d told Jack he would never be happy if he knew the opportunity was out there. He’d told him he needed Jack to back him up as soon as they got home to look over the papers. Practically begged him for his support. It sucked. He didn’t want to let this happen. He didn’t want to see Tenna get his hopes up, just for these people to let him down. He didn’t want a repeat of his last show, once things took a turn.

And with his luck they were going to.

He smiled at the TV host as he waited on his feedback eagerly. “You’re gonna knock ‘em dead, Ten. Maybe lose a few layers, though. Doesn’t matter how good the suit is, the real deal’s what everyone's tuning in for." He winked and tried to will away the blush trying to work its way up his neck. Tenna liked flirting. He wasn’t being weird. He always said shit like that to him. 

It was getting so hard to act normal around him. Tenna kept finding new ways to fluster him.

Tenna giggled and pink pixels rippled across his cheeks. His antenna twirled together and his nose wiggled. Jack chuckled as a flower bloomed, and Tenna quickly plucked it off and tossed it to him. He turned back round and started putting on his cufflinks. 

“Well, I’m glad to hear it. My first show has to be perfect! You know what they say about first impressions!”

Ryder bent to catch the flower and pressed it into his pocket. He was getting so many of these. Maybe he should make one of those pressed flower books? He circled Tenna and slipped his hands into his pockets. “Oh yeah? And what do they say?”

Tenna smiled at him and shrugged. “I don’t actually know. I was hoping you would, Jacky.”

Jack shrugged and stepped around Tenna, peeking out the curtains to the rows of seats lined up outside. They were back in the large meeting room they’d ended up in back then. It was spacious enough for a good amount of people to file in. Jack wondered if they were performing here because of convenience, or because Tenna really had found the perfect spot for a performance in the office building.

“Is anyone here yet?”

Jack shivered as static laced breath ghosted over his neck. Tenna’s nose grazed his cheek as he leaned over his shoulder and spoke into his ear. “Jacky? Shouldn’t you find a seat before it gets too crowded? I really want you in the front row.”

Jesus.

Tenna was getting too bold these days. Ever since Truth or Dare became a thing, he was practically latched onto him at all times. It was torture. Every day he had a tall, sexy robot purring and cuddling up to him. Telling him he never wanted to leave him. Flirting! He wanted to believe it wasn’t mixed signals. Tenna was definitely… interested. For what, Jack could take a wild guess. He still didn’t know if it was just for physical comfort or… Was he being too hopeful? Tenna was a friendly guy, but this was different, right? This was beyond just being lonely! I mean, they slept together for Gotham’s sake! 

Jack didn’t dare move as Tenna nuzzled his nose more firmly into his cheek. “Thank you for coming to my first show. I hope your job isn’t too mad I keep stealing you~”

Jack flushed as a tail wrapped around his waist and tugged him closer. “Maybe I can make it up to you~?”

Please don’t get a boner.

“How- hah! How you… wanna do that, Ten?” He could barely think. This was melting his brain. What the hell? How was he supposed to survive?

Tenna’s screen tinged pink. He smiled bashfully and finally backed up a bit. His tail loosened, but to Jack’s delight it stayed wrapped around his waist. 

“Well, I was thinking… Maybe I could treat you? Once I get my first paycheck? I- I’ve… always wanted to… go somewhere with you.”

Ryder froze as Tenna’s words registered. A date? Was he asking him on a date? With his first paycheck, too? The first things he spent his hard earned cash on, and he wanted it to be him? He felt his eyes burn and blinked rapidly in hopes of easing the sting. Well fuck. That was the nicest thing anyone had ever offered him. What the fuck? Jack tried to wrestle his heart back into his chest as Tenna squirmed under his awed expression. 

Tenna seemed to glitter in the backstage lights as Jack took him in. He was like a dream. There was no other explanation. He had to be. Jack had dreamed him up, and somehow, he’d just stuck around one day when he woke up and never left. That was the only explanation. No way would this happen otherwise. Who the fuck wanted to treat him to anything? Ever?

“Jacky? Do- do you want to?” Tenna poked his fingers together and tightened his tail again. 

Jack didn’t know what to say.

Thankfully, his dick had more luck.

“Okay, but just so you know, I only put out on the second date.”

Tenna’s face burst into a bright red. His screen flicked between channels and his speakers whined. Jack felt his own embarrassment waver as Tenna scrambled with his dial through his suit, then smacked his head when his face kept flashing on and off. A wobbly, embarrassed grin and a new, more fractured flower.

“PUT- PUT OUT!? Jacky, I don’t-! You can’t just s- say something so- I was just- It’s not for that! No! This is just dinner and maybe- a date!? Did you-? Do you mean-?” His face seemed to settle as he rambled on. More bursts of static and twitching antennas. His tail waggled its plug end and tugged him close again.

“Do you… want it to be a date?” He whispered.

Shit. What now?

Jack looked at him. Took in his pink pixle blush and trembling lips. Did he want to? That wasn’t really a question, was it? Of course he did. Real question was, did Tenna?

Tenna, in his impeccable suit and tie. Tenna, backstage before an adoring crowd showered him in love and praise. Tenna, soft and sweet and full to bursting with love.

Did he want him?

What do you think?

Jack sighed. “It’s whatever you want it to be, Angel. I’m down for whatever.”

Tenna seemed to relax. Slump and look away.

“Oh, that’s… That’s good to hear! I suppose it- well it doesn't have to be anything, does it? It’s just us, anyway. We’ll be together. That’s what matters.”

Jack nodded and felt Tenna’s tail unwind and slip away. He took a deep breath and tugged the suit once more. “Okay then! I’m all set! Ready for showtime, Jacky?”

Ryder gave him two things up and grinned as Tenna’s speakers let out a cheer. “Excellent! Now, I think you should find your seat, Mr. Ryder! You wouldn’t want to miss TV Time’s first live premier, would you?”

Jack rolled his eyes as Tenna started ushering him out of the backstage area. “Yeah, yeah. See you soon, okay?”

Tenna giggled and nodded. Giddy and excited to perform once more. “Oh, Jacky! Soon, all anyone will be seeing is me!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A disaster.

Tenna bowed as the crowd cheered and the curtains shut. 

That had been a disaster.

He felt his smile crumble as he straightened back up. The PA’s rushed him and went to work pulling off his microphone and wiring. Pulling down props and set pieces and congratulating him as they passed him a water bottle and a granola bar. 

He felt his mind run over the show again. 

He’d been elated to see the turn out, at first. Everyone was so happy to see him. They cheered and wailed when he came on stage and he waved to the many familiar faces. Carlton had told him how many of them wanted him back, but to see the turn out, he could barely find a missing face. They must have missed him so much. He was so excited to make them smile again.

Jacky had waved at him, from the front row. Tenna had barely been able to hide his blush at the sight of him. His little Lightener, sat down for his performance and waiting to be swept away. It was everything he’d wanted last time to be. 

He wouldn’t let things be ruined again.

He’d started with a new game show. A mix between a magic show and dress up game. He’d worked with the costume department to give three lucky contestants make overs and fun outfits, before roping in the special effects department for a more exciting twist. A real Cinderella story for the hard working office workers in drab, business casual rags. It had been so fun!

But then he’d noticed someone yawn.

Tenna had wanted to use his magic. Of course he had, but he’d promised not to use it for shows anymore. It wasn’t for anyone else. It was for Jacky. Just Jacky. 

But Tenna could tell the audience missed it. 

Every costume change was flawless. Every new look and gasp of delight at their upgraded wardrobe was as flashy as possible. He waved his hands and made princes of paupers and divas of desk-jockeys. He’d even done a dance number! Lights flashed! Music crashed! Smiles and laughter echoed across every wall. 

He did that! Him! Tenna had made them happy once more!

But the light in their eyes was never as bright.

Tenna could see the difference. Some of them got distracted. Sometimes they coughed or yawned. Looked away. Frowned. Fidgeted in their seats. 

Took out their fucking phones.

They were having fun, but they were not enthralled.

Every flash of stage magic made people sit forward. They held their breath and widened their eyes. Looked at him with awe and hope that he saw sour into disappointment almost immediately. They could tell it wasn’t real magic. Just an illusion. Not a true fantasy. Not really him.

Jacky had been smiling and watching with rapt attention the entire time. He was a wonderful viewer. His laugh was loud and unrestrained. He never had to be goaded into engaging with him when he called for cheers or applause. He was wild and eager and so exhilarating it made Tenna buzz with the energy of it. 

If he didn’t know any better, Tenna would have thought he was connecting with him. Reaching his heart with his magic and pulling out those reactions with sheer force of will. He’d even checked, but he wasn’t. He’d kept a tight lid on himself the entire time. It was easier to behave when he was performing. So, it was just Jack Ryder, being unapologetically himself once more that was blowing Tenna away. How could he have managed to get so lucky? To end up with the best viewer he’d had in ages, and have him all to himself?

But the rest of the crowd wasn’t the same.

Did they really miss it that much?

Tenna tried to ignore it. He was having a hard time too! He had to hold so much back. Every movement on stage felt tight and controlled as he swallowed down Fun-o-Meter’s and laugh tracks. The stage was begging to be filled, but he couldn’t. Not with Jacky right there, watching him and smiling so earnestly! So he tried to fill it another way. His stage presence was enough, wasn’t it? He was born here! It was his home. He knew how to make them happy without anything else! 

And then the show had ended.

The crowd cheered. Clapped and stood up and whooped and hollered. It was by all means, a perfect show.

But then he’d felt it.

As the people stood and praised him, he felt their disappointment.

And it burned.

He stumbled to his dressing room backstage. Practically collapsed onto his chair and let his posture devolve into a slouch. He grimaced at his reflection on his vanity mirror. Drooping nose. Wrinkles on his screen. Sagging coattails and crooked antenna. His hands shook as he twisted the top of his water off and he tilted his head back to chug it down.

“Holy shit, Ten! That was incredible!”

Jacky tore through the dressing room door and Tenna choked on his drink at the interruption. He felt warm arms wrap around his shoulders and shake him as Jacky laughed.

“You- hah! That was crazy! How’d you get those schmucks to agree to those outfits? Hey! Not knocking the fashion, but no way is that last guy maintaining that skincare routine. Guy looks like he’s never even touched lotion before.”

Tenna forced a laugh and tried to clear his throat. “Why- why shouldn’t he? Those skin care gift baskets would be wasted otherwise! I’m sure Joshua will be getting all kinds of compliments on his new look! What better motivation than peer review?”

Jack leaned on his back, making Tenna slump forward at his added weight. “Are you sure they were cheering for him? I’m pretty sure those chants sounded a lot like-”

Jacky's stubbly chin scratched his head casing as he mimicked the crowd. “I! Love! TV! I! Love! TV!”

Tenna giggled as a rush of giddy energy thrummed through him. They had! Several times! It had felt sooooo good too~ He’d barely been able to hold his magic back at the joy those words caused. Hearing Jacky say it was- Oh dear! He could’t hold back anymore! 

Tenna felt himself grow two feet and Jacky laughed his signature wild cackle as he gripped his shoulders tighter and was pulled from the floor. His chair squeaked in protest. Tenna sighed in relief at the feeling. Like a pressure had been released from his head, his smile relaxed. He let himself grow a few more inches and chuckled as Jacky stayed latched into him. Suddenly, the show seemed much less… catastrophic, in hindsight. 

“How does your suit not rip when you do this?”

Tenna looked down at his suit as Jacky tugged on one of his bright red lapels curiously. He kept asking questions like that. About his magic. Tenna never knew what to say. How did his magic work? He wished he knew. He thought he knew, before all this…

He placed his water bottle back down on his much smaller looking vanity. “Because I don’t… want it to?”

Jacky grunted and pulled himself higher up his back, probably scuffing his suits back with his rough grip. Tenna adjusted his arm and bent forward more. He didn’t want Jacky to fall off. “Okay, so are you the suit now? Does that just happen, or do you have to want it to?”

Tenna shrunk a bit as he considered. Did he do it on purpose? Not always. Sometimes? When had he made the suit, him? He hadn’t even thought about it. It had looked so good on him, he’d just claimed it the moment it felt right. Was that bad? Should he not do that anymore? But if he changed, they wouldn’t fit anymore!

“Hey, I’m just curious, Ten. You don’t have to answer. I just want to know what makes you tick, you know?” Jacky leaned over one shoulder and gave him an encouraging nudge.

Right. Just a question. About his magic. And if he could control it. And why he used it. Nothing judgey about that at all. 

Tenna looked into his mirror and winced. His antenna were drooping. He was looking glooby again. And Jacky was looking more concerned. “I guess… I never really though about it before, Jacky. Once I put something on, I just see it as me, you know? If I don’t, it just feels…wrong.”

He shrunk back down, feeling his mood level out and sighing. Just one more thing that felt like pulling teeth to explain. Jacky wouldn’t get it. Lighteners saw clothes as accessories. They were a necessity to avoid being naked. Nothing like Darkeners. Clothes were your body. They moved and breathed with you. And bodies were easy to change! How you looked, what you wore, reflected how you felt. How strong and healthy your magic was. How much you were loved. How comfortable you were with your body was everything to a Darkener. If you didn’t love your body, then how could a Lightener love you?

Tenna was very proud of his body.

“That makes sense… So if you like how it makes you feel, it’s you? I like that. No wonder you were so excited to play dress up. Does the costume department still have to take it back once your show’s done?” Jacky stayed wrapped around him. Arms dropping to hold him from behind and rub his middle loosely. 

Jacky didn’t avoid touching him anymore. 

Tenna knew that had to mean something. After everything they had been through together, they were finally breaking through the barriers of physical touch and sharing a closeness he’d never thought he’d get to have again. Talking more. Holding each other. Flirting back and fourth. He may not engage as often as Tenna did, but he still did it often enough. He touched him. Mindlessly. Casually. Carefully.

Was it wrong that Tenna still wanted more? Wanted it all to mean more? Was that something Jacky even wanted? He still didn’t know if he liked men, and- what if he just wanted something physical? He wasn’t exactly known for his long term romances but- couldn’t Tenna be different? If this was all heading where he though it was- all the flirting and touching, it had to mean something, right?! 

Right?

Tenna flushed and nodded, his hands shaking slightly as he fiddled with his buttons fruitlessly. “Ah- yes. They need this back. I should hurry up, they still need me to- ugh. These buttons are so small-!”

Jacky huffed a laugh and Tenna shivered as his gravely voice hummed near his vents. “You need some help, Angel?”

Goodness! Tenna knew he’d been flirting more aggressively but- ah! He just couldn’t keep up with Jacky sometimes! They hadn’t even had their not-a-date, yet!

Tenna’s hands flew to his face and he felt his screen flush. “Um, no! No I’m- I can do it! Haha! You’re so shameless, Jacky! T-trying to take advantage of an innocent CRT backstage? Don’t make me kick you out of my dressing room, you rogue!”

Jacky’s hands squeezed his middle and finally let go, moving up to his chest instead. “Oh, yeah. Real innocent. You’re the picture of a bright eyed newcomer to the industry alright.”

Tenna jolted as hands wound around his sides and teased his suit buttons. His heart squeezed and he felt his breath catch. “J-Jacky! I said I could do it myself!” He raised his arms, hands twitching between pulling Jacky away and letting him have his way.

Those rough hands popped a button and oh-so-slowly worked their way down the rest of his suit jacket. “Hey, don’t sweat it, Ten. Lemme help~”

Jacky kept his arms wrapped tightly around him, taking his sweet time worming his buttons out of their notches. He hummed mindlessly as Tenna felt his nose bloom and his screen burn red. His magic strained to let him grow once more, bubbling with the urge to swallow the man up. He held it back. He didn’t want Jacky to stop if he got too big. Too large to use button sizes as an excuse. Jacky kept his chin resting on his shoulder, the feeling of his warm breaths against his neck made Tenna feel like he was melting in his seat. His heart was practically beating out of his metal chest. A puff of hot air exited his vents as Jacky finally got to the lowest button and Tenna was released from the restraining fabric.

Jacky raised his hands and slipped Tenna’s jacket off his shoulders. “You want help with your shirt too?”

Sugar honey iced tea. He couldn’t do this. He was going to overheat!

Tenna threw a hand up and snapped before he could lose anymore of his composure. Too much. Jacky was officially being too much! He was going to make him blow a fuse at this rate! Just what had gotten into him?!

“Ack! Ten, what the-? I was kidding! Ten, it was a joke!”

Tenna stood and let out a nervous giggle as Jacky strained against his new straightjacket. It was a crude thing, but he’d panicked. He’d been undressing him for Darkness sake! Those hands were too dangerous to be let loose!

“I - I warned you! You’re lucky I didn’t give you a total scene change and sent you outside! You’re- you’re too…” Tenna flushed and felt his tail snap in the air. Wagging, but anxious and twitchy.

He had to say it. He had to try.

“You should know… When it comes to- to that kind of thing. I take that kind of thing seriously, Jacky.” Tenna felt his heart stutter as he spoke. He chanced a look at Jacky. Still wrapped up in his magical restraints, he’d stopped struggling. He looked shocked. Maybe even-

Upset.

Shit.

Tenna waved his hand and willed the straightjacket away. Too much. He’d gotten too real, again! “Hah, but! I know! It was just a game, I know you’re just- just playing, Jacky. It’s fine! Just, not that much. I-I’m not… racy things like that are just too much. For a game. For me. I’m sorry.”

Jacky raised his hands and smiled, shaky and awkward. “No! Ten, no, it’s- I went too far! It’s my bad, I thought- I just- haha! Yeah! I was just getting carried away, Angel. Game over, am I right?”

Tenna felt his stomach clench. Getting carried away. Right. Game over. 

They both fell silent as the moment sunk its teeth in. Suddenly the comfort from before was jagged and wrong. After all this time, he’d finally managed to break the peace with his stupid mouth. Tenna shrunk. He needed to. This moment felt too awful. Game over? Shit. Shit! He’d made it weird. They’d been having fun and then he’d ruined it! Why did he need it to be more? Why was he so greedy? He was hopeless! Broken! Why would Jacky ever want him for more if he couldn’t even-?

“Woah- that’s- Ten! You can get that small?!”

Tenna sighed and wrapped his arms around himself. And now here he went again. Making a scene and worrying Jacky. Again. One day Jacky would get tired of dealing with his moods and then it really would be game over. Tenna felt that moment ticking down like a timebomb. His form squashed down smaller and his screen flicked off. He wanted to disappear.

“Hey. Hey, Ten. It’s okay! It’s my fault, okay? I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Tenna whined as large hands scooped him up and cradled him close. He looked up at his worried frown and hugged his thumb. “I’ve made things weird, haven’t I? I didn’t mean to, Jacky. I like when we play together. I really do. You don’t have to stop. I don’t want it to be Game Over yet!”

Jacky petted his antenna back with a finger and smiled reassuringly. His eyes darted around for a second, before he snapped his fingers and grinned. “How about a code word? Then we don’t have to stop, uh, playing. We can just check in? If it’s not something you like, we can just. Flip the script.”

Tenna nodded eagerly. A code word. Something just for the two of them. Something to keep the game going. To keep Jacky playing. That sounded fun!

He felt himself grow a few inches, but Jacky didn’t drop him. Just readjusted his hands. “What about…? Cut! Like on TV! Then we can try again and we don’t need to end the scene!”

Jacky flushed, then laughed, chest and hands shaking as he set him down. “Holy shit! Yes! Cut! It’s perfect!”

Tenna felt himself grow back as Jacky kept laughing. His laugh could fuel him enough to grow bigger than the building. He was his favorite viewer. He was his everything. The space grew glittery and warm and Tenna tried to will away the romantic music trying to fade in. Just how much his magic wanted to expose him was a worry all on its own. At least he could redirect it.

Tenn waved his hand and a game board flashed into the air. A bell dinged and the number one slot flashed the word “Cut” in shiny golden letters. “And audience reviews all agree! ‘Cut’ is the number one answer! Let's see two and three!”

Jacky kept laughing as the words “You’re Fired!” and “Aaaand Scene!” Flashed on the board and Tenna let his anxieties settle back in his chest. They would start their pacing as soon as the moment was over, but for now? 

For now, Tenna could use his magic as intended again. For now, he was making Jacky laugh so hard his face was turning red and he’d started coughing. For now, he could forget how much he wanted their not-a-date to just be called a date. For now, he could ignore how fast his heart was still pounding from the feeling of rough hands working away at his suit. For now, he could forget how scared the idea of ending their game was.

As Jacky finally laughed himself hoarse, Tenna helped him up from his crouch on the floor and snapped his hands. His suit was replaced with his classic one and his other was hung on his costume rack with a puff of confetti and glitter. A quick change should have occurred to him earlier. He was practically the King of self-sabotage at this point. Why, Tenna? Why do you always set yourself up for failure?

You know why.

Jacky was already doing more than enough. Giving an old has-been like him the time of day? Affection and company in his aging years? Why did he keep trying to make this more than it was? He should know better, by now. He couldn’t trust his heart. It was only going to lead him astray. It was simply not good at its job anymore. Never had been. Especially now. No matter how many times he tried to mend it, it was still defunct. Cracked and bent out of shape. Any day now, it would fail him once again and then, maybe then, he’d finally just give up and throw the thing out.

Any day now, Tens.

It had served its purpose. It was old. Out of date. Dusty and unused. 

It was almost garbage.

Tenna locked arms with Jacky as he started asking about his special effects. Led him around backstage and tried his best to answer his questions. He smiled as his Lightener looked at him like he was important, and let his magic bloom before they had to go back in front of the watchful eyes of the world outside. Jacky wouldn’t throw him out as long as he stayed. And Tenna would stay. He’d never have to leave if he played this right.

“Ready to meet your new agent, Ten? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they’re up to snuff. I have a good nose for these things.”

Tenna wrapped his tail around Jacky's leg and nodded. “I’m sure you’ll whip them into shape if they aren’t, Jacky. You always take such good care of me~”

Next time, Tenna would throw it out. Next time, he'll put the crazy glue and duct tape away, and toss it where it belonged. It was only a matter of time. He knew he’d get put back in his place. Get a reality check and remember how impossible all this hoping and lovesickness really was. Any day now, his heart would be right where it belonged. Right in the dump.

Because hearts get broken.

You were always going to end up in the dump eventually, Tens.

Chapter Text

Tenna felt the wires in his stomach tie each other into knots as Jacky pulled into the driveway. Sal’s home had never seemed so intimidating before. The tall, white walls of the mansion were suddenly so cold and foreboding…

He shrunk down a foot and pulled his legs up to hug them. Oh nooooo…

“Ten, I did not drive an hour to this guy's house just for you to chicken out.”

Jacky's smile was more amused than annoyed, but the sentiment still stung. “I know! I’m just… preparing?”

The reporter laughed and pushed his door open. “Oh yeah? What’s that position called, the cannonball? You gonna take a dip in his pool?”

Tenna sighed and forced himself out of his premature fetal potion. So maybe that had been a little pathetic. He was just so nervous!

“Okay, sure. Maybe not very prepared looking. I can do this! I am very… very prepared!”

Jacky pulled open his door and held his hand out. Tenna didn’t hesitate to encircle that hand with his own, relishing in the warmth and softness of it. Jacky said his hands were rough, ugly things, but Tenna didn’t agree. Compared to his metal and gloves, the creases and calluses were charming, and so intimately human. It made him want to trace the lines to their source, on nights when Jacky fell asleep first and Tenna had free range to just… look at him.

Jacky tugged him out of his reverie and nodded to the door. “Looks like another welcoming committee, Ten. At least this one looks friendly.”

And then Tenna felt his screen dim as Ricky smiled at him from the doorway.

“Tall Guy! Ryder! How was the dog house? Hear it’s real lonely this time of year…”

Jacky gave Ricky his usual scowl as they began trading sharp barbs, but Tenna squirmed. Ricky was ignoring him, as usual, but for once Tenna really didn’t want his attention. Especially after the show. 

“Aww, don’t be like that Ryder! It’s all water under the bridge, right? I’m sure once Sal feeds you he’ll forget all about his little hissy fit.”

Tenna froze as sharp eyes landed on his and Ricky’s smile grew. “Hey, tall Guy. Did you miss me?”

And Temma smiled as hard as he could. “Yes! Of course I did, Ricky! I truly am sorry I put a damper on everything! I hope I can make it up to you all…”

Jack shoulder checked Ricky and pulled Tenna inside with him. “Yeah, whatever. Look Ten, I refuse to watch you grovel, so if you’re gonna do it, do it when I’m not around, kay?”

Tenna wilted as he was draped and gave Jacky a pout. “But- Are you going to leave me?”

Jacky chuckled and shook his head. “Nope!”

But then why-? 

Tenna scanned the house as they walked through, but beside Ricky, he couldn’t see anyone else around. “How will I apologise then?”

Jack pulled him to his side on the living room couch and sat him down besides him. Then he kicked his legs up as he reached for the remote. “Like a normal person with dignity. No begging. No prostrating, and NO “Please don’t hate me’s”! You messed up, but you’re not the Joker, Ten. You didn’t mean to hurt anybody.”

Jacky flicked Big Brother on and Tenna saw the reflection of a soap opera mirrored in his eyes. He didn’t look like he was actually interested in the show, but he was obviously trying to act more nonchalant than usual. Like a calm in the center of a storm. Was he trying to help him by acting like he was relaxed? Giving him advice and not leaving his side until he was ready?

Tenna felt his antenna coil together and he flushed. Jacky was so brave. He never hesitated to say what was on his mind, or stand up for himself. He would probably not even bother apologising for something like this, if their situations were reversed. Though, he probably wouldn’t have made such a mess of things either. Tenna looked down and interlocked his hands nervously. He wasn’t so bold as to act like he was above his friendships, but, Jacky was right. He didn’t need to go overboard when he apologised.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll try, Jacky. I… I really appreciate the advice.”

Jacky nodded, changing the channel and leaning into Tenna’s side lightly. Tenna curled his tail around Jacky's closest leg and took a deep breath. He would apologize normally. He didn’t need to go overboard. If Sal didn’t forgive him… Ugh, he really hoped he would though…

Ricky stalked into the living room and his grin became unbearably smug as he looked the two of them up and down. “Heyyyyy! See you guys getting cozy, huh? Tall Guy, don’t tell me you and Ryder are finally going steady?”

Tenna shot up and grimaced at Ricky, his fangs poking out from his lips as he fought back a hiss. “Can’t you-! Ricky! We- we need to talk!”

Ricky’s brows went up and he laughed, then shot Ryder a smirk. “Uh oh! Hope you’re not too jealous, Ryder. Looks like your prince charming wants so alone time with me instead~’

Jacky lurched up and Tenna pushed him back down quickly, eliciting a grunt as Jacky fell back into the couch cushions. “NO! It’s- Jacky, we’re just talking in the kitchen, okay? Don’t move, alright? I’ll be right back!”

“Ten-”

Ricky slung an arm around his waist and tugged Tenna to the kitchen eagerly. “Hey, you heard the big guy! Sit and stay, Ryder. Boss’s orders.”

Tenna sighed as Jacky gave Ricky two middle fingers and Ricky snickered. He decided to end the squabble early and began speed walking to the kitchen. Ricky let himself be dragged by the arm still wrapped around his waist and Tenna heard Jacky let out one more sour curse as Ricky turned around once more and did something Tenna couldn’t see. He hoped it wasn’t too crude.

As soon as the kitchen doors closed, Tenna spun around and steeled himself. He needed to get this out of the way.

“You were right about me, okay!”

Ricky pulled away from him and gave him a baffled frown. Tenna ignored it in favor of speaking his mind before he chickened out again. “I lost control! I let my demons win and I ruined everything! You were right, I should have just let you-”

His hands fell to his sides. Cold. They were so cold. His arms hurt. They ached and his shoulders hurt so badly-! Tenna grabbed his shoulders and squeezed. They were fine. He was fine. He wasn’t going to die. Not yet.

“I made a mess of everything… and I put your family in danger. I’m… I am so sorry Ricky. I’m sorry I let you down. I wasted your mercy. You were right.”

Tenna felt his throat close up and he fell silent. The words he’d been wanting to say to Ricky for so long, and they were finally out in the open. Did he go overboard? He hadn’t said the word forgiveness so… Maybe it didn’t count? He wished he knew how to apologize the right way. It never felt like enough.

Ricky was still watching him in confusion, though, there was annoyance there too. Oogh. Not good.

“Tall Guy, what the hell are you talking about?”

Tenna straightened up. He’d started crouching and he hadn’t even realized it. “Uh, the-! You know…? The- the whole… dog and gun thing…?”

Ricky scowled and glanced back at the doors. He turned back to Tenna and his smile soured. “You’re still on about that? It was just a joke, Tenna. Let it go.”

No. That couldn’t be right. He’d seen it. The hate in his eyes. The fear-! “But, you said-!”

Ricky’s voice lowered and he growled. “Let. It. Go.”

Tenna felt his resolve waver. He looked angry. Ricky had never looked angry before. Had Tenna been wrong? If it really had just been a prank, then he was blowing things way out of proportion. He was overreacting again. Should he just let it go?

And then Tenna remembered Jacky in the living room.

What would Jacky do?

“You… you’re seriously going to pretend that was a joke?”

Tenna had just enough time to see the surprise leak into Ricky’s expression before he felt a damn within him tremble and burst.

“You- you put a gun against my face and told me you wanted to put me down like a mad dog! You called me a beast wearing a mask to hide my insecurities! You pulled the f-f- freaking trigger!?”

He reached up and yanked down his antennas. His claws dug into the metal plating of his palms and Tenna hissed. “And now you’re going to act like it was all a joke!? Like I’m crazy for taking you seriously?! Like I’m the weird one for taking everything you said to heart!? REALLY!?”

Ricky paled and looked back at the doors. He waved his hands and tried to shush him. “Woah, woah! Hold on a sec, Tall Guy, I-hah! I didn’t say all that-!”

Tenna felt himself grow as his rage fueled him and he crouched down to Ricky’s level, poking his chest with a clawed finger roughly. “You did. And I know you don’t like me Ricky! I’ve been trying so hard to make you like me and-! I thought we'd made progress! I didn’t like it, obviously, but I thought you’d finally opened up! And now! You’re telling me! It was all a joke?!”

Ricky slapped his finger away and backed up as Tenna kept advancing on him. He backed him against the kitchen counter and bared his fangs fully. “Is that all I am to you!? A joke?!”

“NO! I’m fucking terrified of you, asshole!”

Tenna gasped. Ricky’s voice had cracked so badly Tenna felt afraid he’d somehow hurt him. He shrunk back down, watching as Ricky gasped for air. He looked totally out of breath from that confession. His face was flushed and he was sweating through his blue track suit. 

Tenna felt his mouth fall open and he just barely held back another apology. He watched Ricky instead. Watched his chest expand and contract with desperate breaths as his eyes darted around the room, always landing on Tenna and bouncing away just as quickly. He didn’t want to look at him. He was-

“You’re really that scared of me?”

He winced. A deeper flush of shame coloring his neck and cheeks. Tenna felt bad. He didn’t want to make him feel that way. 

“Why? I- I know I look a little different and all, but I’d never-”

Ricky threw a hand up and looked away. Tenna snapped his mouth shut. Okay. Maybe he’d said enough.

He took one more deep breath, then glared at him. Angry. He still looked angry. “I don’t care if you think you’d never hurt us, Tenna. You’re… Do you notice? They way you react to things… it’s not normal.”

What was he supposed to do with that? “I don’t- what does that mean? I have magic, but- What are you talking about?”

Ricky laughed, cold and tired. Not a very Ricky laugh. Maybe it was though. Maybe Tenna didn’t know what his real laugh sounded like. 

“You freak out over things all the time. You go wild the minute you think something is going wrong. You get super depressed at the drop of a hat, and then you get really, really happy the minute you feel better. You’re unstable. Really, obviously unstable.’’

Oh.

What the hell?

No way, right?

Oh, but-

Well, sometimes-

Was he?

Ricky took at his stupified expression and slapped a hand over his face. “You can make all kinds of scary magic shit happen, and you’re crazy, Tall Guy. I’m not gonna trust someone like that!”

Tenna shrunk down a foot and felt his height level out. Crazy? Was he crazy? It’s not like he heard voices or anything! He just was very expressive! And emotional! That wasn’t dangerous. That was just- a quirk! A loveable quirk! What the hell?!

Ricky crossed his arms. “You have these moods and then suddenly everything is fine again. Like, you realize how creepy that is, right? The whole mood changes and then we’re supposed to pretend like we didn’t see you lose it for a full minute? What the hell is that about?”

“I- you don’t have to pretend anything! If- if you have a problem with how I act, you can tell me! I’m just not interested in airing all my feelings out, is all.”

Ricky scoffed. “Oh sure! You just broadcast it for everyone to see and mope so we all have to comfort you, but noooo! As soon as you're feeling better it's back to our regular scheduled fun and games with Tenna! You couldn’t hide how you feel if you tried. Honestly, I don’t care! Have a breakdown, see if I give a whoop, but don’t act like it never happened and make me play along!”

Tenna bristled and stomped his foot. That wasn’t fair! “I don’t need to explain my feelings every time I have a bad moment. I’m trying, okay!? I don’t know why I’m like this! I don’t know what to do about it half the time and unlike you, I have magic to worry about too! If I fall apart my magic gets a mind of its own and tries to make it even more of a production that it already is! Do you know what that’s like?! Every time I feel anything there’s a three part screen play trying to expose me in front of everyone!”

Case and point.

Tenna groaned as the stove top was set aflame. Two tall fountains of flame that rose to the stove top fan and crackled with anger. More little spurts of fire rose from the sink and counter tops and Ricky jumped back as they almost caught on his jacket. “Oh no! Wait, one second!”

He waved his hands and winced at the burn marks the flames left behind. Shit. He was getting too steamed. He needed to calm down. 

“Wow, Tall Guy. You’re a fire hazard too? What can’t you do?”

Tenna sighed as the final fire was put out and glowered at the man. “Shut it, Ricky. If Sal asks, I’m blaming you.”

And Ricky laughed again. Brighter. Still rough, but… was that his real laugh?

“Sal can’t get more pissed at you, at least.”

Tenna felt his resolve wither. “Is he… will he even forgive me?”

Ricky shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Probably. He likes you. Not like me, he actually really likes you. He thinks you’re the cat's pajamas.”

Tenna gave a breathless laugh at the phrase. The cat's pajamas. Would that it were true. “Where is he?”

Ricky shrugged again. “Hiding somewhere. Wanna go look?”

And so they did.

Tenna felt his mind reel as they searched bedrooms and backyards. Ricky was just… ignoring what happened again. Was that what Tenna had been doing too? Did it always feel this weird for him? He sighed as they opened the last guest room to nothing.

Ricky didn’t look phased. “Maybe he’s in the garage.”

Tenna looked at Ricky. “Can we ever be friends?”

Ricky shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe we already are.”

The garage was the winning ticket. Ricky didn’t bother sticking around. As soon as Tenna’s screen landed on Sal, he was moving.

Sal didn’t look up as he waxed his car with a bright yellow fiber cloth. Strong arms and a diligent eye that never wavered as he worked. Tenna felt a relief he hadn’t expected upon seeing him again.

It had really been too long.

Sal slowed to a stop and gave Tenna a single nod. “So… are you going to explain yourself?”

Tenna slowed to a stop and nodded. For some reason, he wasn’t so scared anymore.

“Sal, I regret to inform you… It all started when I met Big Brother.”

—————————————-------------------------------------------------------------------

“I need your help.”

Sal ignored him. He looked out the patio door and exhaled a long stream of smoke as he tapped his cigar ash off. Jack sighed. 

“It’s about Tenna.”

Grey eyes flit to him, then back outside.

Trying to play hard ball, then?

“Sal, can you cut the shit, already? No one actually believes this act you’re putting on. Well, maybe Tenna, but he’s sensitive.”

Grey eyes flashed and he snarled at him. “You’re lucky I’m letting either of you back into my home after the shit he pulled! You want an act? I can give you a real show, right now!”

Sal waved his cigar and stomped over to him, outrage mixing with a deeper, more dangerous rage as he pressed the tip of his finger into his chest.

“You think just because we’re having dinner that I’m over how he used my deli for his little production? That he got my guys involved? Austin’s a kid for god's sake!”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Wow, and he’s only robbed five convenience stores. Maybe you’re right, Sal. Tenna should have started him on something more familiar, like smuggling and extortion.

The finger turned into a fist, balling up his shirt's front. “You might not give a shit, Ryder, but this is my family. My family always comes first. That’s how Goodman’s live and die. For family.”

Jack sneered as the red embers of Sal’s cigar lit the skin on his cheek on a rosy glow. “Tell me, Ryder. What the fuck is stopping me from lighting you while life on fire, huh?”

Okay. This was getting old. Jack decided he was going to cut off the dramatic monologue before it went entirely stale.

He leaned his head to the side and seared his cheek with the cigar.

“Woah-woah-! Shit! Ryder, what the fuck!?”

Jack laughed as he was pushed away, cigar left wasted and crushed on the floor as Sal stomped it out and cursed.

“Tenna’s gonna throw a fit when he sees your face, moron! What the hell were you thinking!?”

There it was. Tenna. Always Tenna. Jack rubbed his burn mark and grinned. Sal was such a shitty liar. He couldn’t fake it if he tried.

“Why do you care, huh? I thought you were just worried about your family.”

Sal groaned in frustration and rubbed a hand over his tired face. “Ten is family, Ryder. I’m just… what the hell was he thinking, pulling that shit?“

Now that was something he could work with.

Jack sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t know. I’m trying to, but, the way Tenna thinks… I’m still trying to figure it out.”

Sal gave him an unimpressed scoff. “Well good luck. Here I was, thinking you two would start dating and calm the hell down-“

“Will you cut it out with that shit?! He’s… we have bigger fish to fry, okay? Tenna’s in danger.” Jack hated that his face was flushing. He didn’t have time to think about that kind of thing right now. 

Sal looked around the living room, then nodded for Jack to follow him outside. Jack appreciated the natural way he seemed to understand the need for discretion. The patio door was pressed closed behind him as he took a breath of fresh air. It stung his new burn, but he was sure it’d heal in a few hours. Sal pulled out another cigar and offered it to him, but Jack waved it off. He was a cigarette guy. Sal shrugged and flicked on his silver lighter. “…So you said. Does this have anything to do with… Was what you said last time-?”

“It’s the truth, Sal.” Jack would never lie about such a thing. Never when it came to Tenna. “He was… Whatever he’s made of, it was almost gone. Used up.”

Sal hissed as he waved his lither off and glared down at his cigar.“…Shit.”

“Yeah. Shit is right. I’m trying to make sure we don’t have a repeat. He’s trying not to use too much magic anymore. He promised he’d take it easy. For me.”

Sal took a drag and let out a weary chuckle, smoke looping and curling around his thinning hair. “Yeah, I bet he did…”

Again with this shit? “Fuck off. Look we’re… we’re trying, okay? Things are good. I just have something else I’m worried about right now. Something I need your help with.” Jack chewed anxiously at his lip and looked back to the house. Tenna was fine, with the boys. Say what he would about Jonny and Ricky and the kid, (and God did he have so much he wanted to say) they were good at keeping Tenna happy. And a happy Tenna was a safe Tenna.

Sal leaned away from the patio door they were both leaning against and sneered. “What kind of help would someone like you…”

Jack watched him point the burning end of his cigar his way and smiled at the way he watched him. Like he was nervous and disgusted at the same time. “Need from someone like me?”

Jack smirked and waved away the smoke souring the air near his face. “Your little family is involved in a lot of different sectors, right? I heard from Ricky you’ve even got quite a few who went legit and are doing security work now.”

Sal finally backed up and leaned against the wall warily. “I got guys in lots of places. Can’t keep track of everything.”

Jack knew what that meant. He had the guys. “Any of them worked for Wayne Enterprises recently? What about FreeMantle?”

Recognition. Worry. Confusion. “I’d have to check. Ryder, what’s-“

Jack leaned closer. He needed to see his eyes.“You know if any of those guys are doing security for any medical research? Specifically projects where confidentiality is a high priority?”

Fear. Concern. “… I may.”

Jack blinked the smoke from his eyes and refused to blink. “Can you get me in contact with ‘em?”

Sal looked away. “Jack, I… My guys can’t risk their jobs just because-“

“You know what he said? When he was doing that show? You wanna know what he said to me?”

Sal’s hands shook. He was softer than the mob bosses Jack usually dealt with. He may be impressive in his violence and loyalty, but for a guy known for his messy methods…

He was very squeamish about death.

Jack let the pain from the nightmares seep into his voice. Let the fear and disgust flavor his face and texture his delivery. “He said he did it all for me. To make me happy. He was in pain, Sal. Shaking from it. Looked fucking terrible and he was still trying to put on a fucking show for me!”

He felt his own hands shake with his rage. He hated it. Just talking bout it and he wanted to strangle himself and everyone involved.

“Everyone there was leeching off him too. They were getting some kind of sick high off his magic or something. They still are, now that he’s doing those shows for them. Even now, he’s still trying to make those fuckers happy and I can’t help him if I don’t know how it all works!”

He looked back at the house again. He didn’t want Tenna to hear. He already felt so guilty for something that wasn’t even his fault. Jack didn’t want him to know. 

He looked back at Sal and tried to lower his voice. “They’re studying him, Sal. The CEO showed us footage of all the people he used his magic on being tested on and shit! I know there’s more. Documents and photos and who knows what. He won’t show me what they’re doing, but I know they’re still researching. They’re probably trying to figure out how he works so they can exploit it.”

Sal looked properly unnerved and Jack let his words hang. He needed proof. Just one solid foothold so he could really start looking into this. So he could go to Wayne and make him stand down. No way would Bruce hear him out if he came at him wrong, or improperly informed. He needed to know just how much they had and if any of it would put Tenna in jeopardy.

Sal took another puff and groaned, then waved his free hand tiredly. “I can’t promise anything, Ryder. I’m not the Boss of these guys anymore. If they don’t wanna give me the information, then-“

“Just-! Try, okay? This is Tenna’s life we’re talking about here. I need to know exactly how far they’re taking these tests if I wanna keep him safe. If it’s just withdrawals and entertainment, then I’ll drop it, okay?”

Sal gave him a knowing look. “And if it’s not?”

It definitely wasn't. “If it’s not, then they won’t stop at just testing his audience. Tenna will be next, and I'm not letting that happen without a fight.”

Smoke plumed up once more and the mob boss looked up. Stared at the first flickers of starlight that peeked from the endless black above. Jack looked up, then back down. The only star he was interested in was landbound. 

“…He’s not some bug for them to poke and prod at under a microscope. He just wants to make people smile. Someone like that’s not a threat to Gotham and he doesn’t deserve to get treated like one. If they try anything, I’ll find out. Then I’ll wreck their little operation before it gets traction.”

A laugh. Incredulous and mocking.“Really? Gonna get someone to sneak around and get into a highly secure medical facility? Better ask Catwoman!”

Jack gave him a wry smile and rubbed his cheek. It was almost gone already. Must not have been that bad after all. “You’d be surprised, Sal. I can be pretty flexible myself.”

He noted the sound of laughter and a familiar booming voice were growing closer. Either the food was done, or they needed Sal to help. “Let's hope that’s the last resort, though. For now, I just need a foundation. Let me know if any of your guys finds a place matching that description, and I’ll have enough to start asking questions.”

Sal kicked up a leg and snuffed out his cig on his shoe sole. He looked resigned and Jack was proud that it had only taken him a single conversation to make the man fold. Maybe Tenna had been right. Sal might just have a soft spot for him too. 

“Okay, Ryder. But don’t let this distract you from what’s important. Tenna needs your support too. Don’t forget, he’s still doing what he loves. If he wants to stick with this show gig, then nothing you find out is gonna change that.”

Jack scoffed and pulled the patio door open. The rush of warm , cinnamon scented air reminded him of Tenna and he smiled instinctively. “If it’s really more important than the truth, then sure, I’ll help him keep the show. But something tells me that their research isn’t going to be on how happy he can make the viewers. Tenna cares about doing the right thing.”

He watched as Tenna and Ricky bickered over something as they entered the living room. The smell of food was starting to overpower the scent of cigars and as Tenna’s screen landed on him, he felt his tension waver.

“He’ll see reason once I find it.”

 ——————————————————

“Hello Mr. Tenna. My name is Donna Usher and I’ll be your Mental Wellness coordinator. Starting today, I’ll be doing my best to provide you and any new staff under you with guidance and programs that will help you become happier and more attuned to your body and mind's needs!”

Tenna felt a single drop of static sweat make its way down his cheek. Woof. That was quite the introduction. So this was what a Mental Wellness coordinator was? He’d expected someone more…

She wore dark, sharp eyeliner that contrasted with her bold green eyeshadow and red lips. Her brown hair was teased up and permed to hell and back and her hot pink leopard print tracksuit made Tenna’s screen strain to take it in. She had long, bedazzled nails that matched her suit in its neon pink coloring. Her shoes heels were high enough to make even Tenna feel nervous and ended on a sharp stiletto point. She smelled of expensive cologne and wore rings and a pair of diamond earrings that looked like they were worth more than Tenna had EVER been. 

Donna Usher was the picture of a jaded, middle aged woman whose husband had mysteriously disappeared one day and left her with his enormous fortune. Tenna had broadcast enough murder mysteries to know.

All except for her voice. 

She smiled like she was the calm before some great storm. The whirlwind of colors and patterns and textures she wore, warring with the smooth, easy cadence of her voice and expression. It was utterly jarring.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Usher! I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage. I’ve never heard of a Mental Wellness Coordinator before. Can you tell me a little bit more about your position?”

She shook his outstretched hand and he loosened his grip so her nails wouldn’t squeeze so uncomfortably against his fingers. Her claws were even longer than his! He pulled away quickly and tried to put on his best showman's smile. He hoped he wasn’t being rude. He really didn’t get it. What was she supposed to even do? Make him get a manicure?

Donna set down her prada bag and nodded, getting comfortable in his guest chair and setting some… toys? On his desk?

“Well, for starters, since you’ll be my only client for now, I was wondering if you could tell me a little about yourself first. What I do is really tailored to the individual, so knowing what YOU need will help me get a plan set in place.”

He felt his smile waver. That sounded fake. What did toys have to do with metal wellness? Or coordinating? Tenna felt his antenna twitch in confusion as she continued setting up weird objects on his desk. A ball. A strange cube. A smaller cube covered in switches. A cup of-

“Is that slime?!”

He pressed his palms to the desk and felt his tail twitch in interest inside his pants leg as she pushed the cup closer to him. It looked… different than what he usually used. It was thicker. Purple. More foamy. It even had little chunks of glitter and plastic candy inside. He felt his antenna droop at that. New slime, then. They even changed the slime, these days. He sighed.

“Do you not like this kind?”

Tenna straightened back and smiled politely. She was obviously trying to make him happy with these things. He shouldn’t be rude.

“Oh, no! It looks lovely! I’m sure it’s great slime! I’m just used to a more, um… vintage, version?”

Donna laughed and set down a funny little worm on a string.

“Oh, like the older stuff? I remember when I was a kid, my little brother was OBSESSED with that! Got green all over the living room carpet, too! My father was irate!”

Tenna smiled at her softly. That was nice. He remembered how much fun the kids had with slime too. They really loved the stuff! Anything gooey or sticky made them go wild! Sticky hands! Fake boogers. He laughed and nodded.

“Do the kids like these candy slimes now? Can you eat it? Or is it just cuter this way?”

Donne shrugged and set her purse back down.

“These days? Kids seem to like the stim toys. If it FEELS fun, it is fun! Same as always, just, new flavors and all that.”

He nodded and looked at the rest of the toys. Now that WAS interesting. So these were modern kids toys? He recognized some, but the others looked so alien. He’d have to learn these!

“What’s this one called?”

He picked up the cube with buttons and pressed one. Nothing happened. He pressed another. Nothing. He pressed a few more, pulled a switch or two, then set it back down, confusion creasing his top bezel down. Was it not on? Why didn’t the buttons do anything?

Donna watched him, then smiled and took the cube and put it back in her purse.

“Stim toy! It’s just for people to push the buttons and mess with it. It doesn't do much besides satisfy that itch that makes you wanna press things. You don’t like it?”

Tenna let out a small huff of disbelief. People wanted a toy that didn’t DO anything? Just to fiddle with? How strange!

“Well, I don’t dislike it! I just… don’t really find fiddling with something like that a good use of my time, I guess. Nothing against it! I’m sure it’s very fun!”

Donne nodded, then placed a few more toys back into her purse. Why? She just took them out? He looked at what was left and smiled at a more familiar toy. He gently picked up the worm on a string and held the tiny creature in his palm.

“I didn’t know kids still liked these little guys. I’m glad they haven’t gone out of style!”

Donne held her hand out encouragingly.

“You know how to really use one of those? Most people don’t.”

Tenna felt a little burst of competition and beamed at her. He grabbed the string tab and started weaving it expertly around his arms. He felt some satisfaction at her surprised expression. He had been the one who advertised these bad boys when they were first invented. Of course he knew how to make them move!

“Of course I do! Hey, who even needs to? Look at him go! He doesn't need anyone leading HIM around, do ya?”

He wiggled the worm between his fingers and puppeted its little head to nod at him vigorously. Its tiny googly eyes rattled and Donna laughed and clapped her hands. He laughed and decided to REALLY impress. He subtly slipped the tab onto his belt and held both hands out. The worm kept weaving as he used both hands to make him wiggle and squirm over his desk and around some other toys, then released the tab and let it skitter back over to her.

“Tadah! Looks like he’s a wily one, Mrs. Usher! Watch out!”

Donna let out an amused yelp of surprise as the worm was flicked back to her, then held it away from her like it was really alive.

“Oh dear! Are you sure you don’t want to keep him Mr. Tenna? He seemed very happy with you!”

He shook his head and waved her offer away quickly. Micky would have a fit if she found out he was keeping even MORE toys in his office!

“No, no! Thank you, but I’m sure he’s much happier with you!”

She nodded and put him away. He looked back at the remaining toys. That ball, he noticed, was shaped like a little apple. He picked it up. He knew what this was, but he recalled it hadn’t really been a toy. 

He squeezed the little ball. He’d never used one. It felt… interesting. He remembered who he’d seen get one. Kris had been gone for an appointment. They’d been quiet. More quiet than usual when they’d come back, and they’d brought back a ball. One for squeezing. One that was about the same size. 

He squeezed it tighter. Felt the foam compressed and flatten under his fingers. A stress ball, was what they’d called it. Toriel had told them something about stress, at least. Told Kris not to throw it in a tree like their last one. They’d squeezed it in front of Toriel a few times, and then she went to the kitchen. Tenna had remembered wondering who would make a ball you couldn't throw? 

He squeezed it harder.

They left it on the floor in the living room. It was kicked aside under the couch one day. Gathered dust. Forgotten. 

He dug his claws in.

They never used it again.

He heard a pop and jolted as he felt his claws tear into the apple's skin like wet paper. Thick gashes that rendered the apple into foamy chunks and crumbs. His antenna bent back in surprise and he retracted his claws guiltily. Shit!

“Oh dear! I- I am SO sorry! That- that wasn’t- I’m, uhm-! I can pay-!”

Donna laughed and waved his stammering away.

“Those things are a dime a dozen! Babe, don’t even trip about that! In fact-!”

She dug into her purse again and low and behold-

“This one’s a heart!”

Tenna felt his panic relax, but held his hands up when she held it out to him.

“Oh no! I- I really shouldn’t press my luck! Hah! Don’t- don’t want to, uh, break that too…”

“Why not?”

Tenna felt her press the toy into his open hand. Leaned across the desk to do it too. He cringed at the heart and cradled it. These were much more delicate than he’d realized.

“Well! These weren’t meant to be broken, I don’t think? Nothing is!”

Donna blew a raspberry and giggled at him. She waved her hand and her nails clacked against each other as she did.

“Lots of things are meant to be broken! Glow sticks! Piniatas! Smelling salts! Pistachios!”

She counted off each nail and the plastic jewels flashed against the light of his screen. She made a squeezing gesture with her hand and nodded to him.

“Go on! I bought these with the budget FreeMantle gave me. It’s no skin off my nose.”

Tenna flustered at her encouragement. He looked back down at the little red heart and frowned. He didn’t WANT to break it. It had been an accident! He gave her a worried grin.

“Isn’t there some… policy against destruction of company property?”

Donna pulled a hand up and mock whispered behind it, giving him a conspiratorial smirk.

“Hey, you wanna know my favorite thing to break, big guy? Rules! Go ahead!”

He sighed and looked back down at the heart. He squeezed it. It felt more squishy than the last one. It had more give. He squeezed it tighter,  but still cautiously. Felt the foam collapse and breathe as he released it. Once more, and he felt his claws slightly extend and prink the rubbery skin. No tears. 

He felt anxious doing this. He didn’t want to break it. He gave Donna a strained smile and handed it back.

“It looks like this one's much more sturdy. How about you hold onto it? I’m… not much for these kinds of toys.”

Donne looked… intrigued. She smiled and shoved the heart back into her purse. Then she swept the rest of the toys into her bag as well. He almost felt bad for them. They all looked quite cramped in that bag.

“So, it looks like we got a little distracted with playing, huh? You were going to tell me a little about yourself, right Mr. Tenna?”

Oh! He smiled and adjusted his tie nervously. He’d completely forgotten about that! Those toys sure had been engaging, if nothing else! 

“Oh yes! Of course! I, am Mr. ‘Ant’ Tenna, and I am a former show host who’s just recently moved to this WONDERFUL city! I am currently employed with FreeMantle as their Corporate Entertainer for a three month basis. Hopefully, after my trial run, I’ll be running my show, TV Time, in no time flat!”

He fell into a comfortable rhythm as he started his introduction. He knew what to say by now. After meeting all the Goodmans and everyone at FreeMantle, he was almost an expert at introducing himself to the unsuspecting populace! No questions that would fit into a normal conversation were left unanswered, and thankfully, most people didn’t seem interested in asking more than that!

And Donna smiled and nodded along just like everyone else.

“You just moved here? That’s great! When?”

Tenna got more comfortable in his chair. 

“Well, just about two years now. I didn’t really explore the city much the first year, so this one’s been MUCH more exciting!”

Donna mirrored him and leaned back in her bean bag chair. She crossed her legs and flapped her hand limply.

“Oh I totally get you, honey! First year for newcomers, most don’t even look out the window. Gotham’s got quite the reputation! What made you get brave enough to start exploring? See anyone that caught your eye?”

She winked and Tenna giggled at her coy impression. He shook his head and looked out his window. Brave was not the word he’d use for himself in ANY universe.

“No, nothing like that! I just wasn’t mobile then. I couldn’t even if I wanted to! Once I could, I felt bad about making poor Jacky do all the ‘leg work’ so to speak, so I decided to help out! Grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, you know how it is!”

Donna nodded along and huffed in annoyance.

“Oh, you have no idea, babe! But let me tell you, once my hubby got too comfortable, that was ALL I could do! It was like he thought I was the live in maid he got to feel up! Nothing but “Donna do this!” and “Donna, get me the remote!”. Don’t tell me! Does he make you cook but NEVER offers to help out with the dishes?”

Tenna laughed at her impressions. She was so wild! What in Darkness name had Carl hired her for? He flushed as she described her husband more and shook his head. Jacky was nothing like that. He was so much… kinder.

“No, Donna. Jacky never treats me like a maid. If anything, I wish he’d… well, he helps out more than enough. I never even asked him to. He just started one day and… I’ve been trying to let him help out more. He’s very sweet. He’s…”

He felt his breath catch as his mind caught up with his mouth.

Nothing like YOUR husband? Jacky wasn’t his husband! Why were they talking about husbands? Or husband! Singular. Because there was only one. Why did she think-? It didn’t matter. He felt himself flush more. He didn’t want to give her the wrong idea.

“I’m sorry to hear your husband doesn't appreciate you more, Donna. My- uh, Jacky is just my roommate. My friend! We live together and we try to share the workload, is all. He works and since I didn’t have a job for a while, I just wanted to do my part!”

Donna pulled out a notebook and started writing something down. He felt his curiosity pique. What was she writing?

“This Jacky seems like a real catch, honey! Cleaning without being asked is like a godsend! If you don’t want him I’ll be happy to take him off your hands!”

Tenna felt his tail flick in agitation and shifted uncomfortably. She was just teasing! Hopefully. She wouldn’t, right? She didn’t even know him!

“Oh, uh. No, thank you? I.. I don’t think-”

Donna cracked up and threw her head back.  She laughed an obnoxious laugh that sent his antenna curling back at the interference. She was so loud! He felt himself laughing along, if only to take part in the relief it gave.

“Oh, honey, no! I was kidding! I won’t tease anymore, sweetie, I’m sorry! I know he’s your special guy, no worries!”

Now his face was even warmer. Was he that obvious?! He pressed his hands to his cheeks and lowered his face. This was humiliating! Why was he getting so worked up? 

“Oh… no, that’s… fine! Jacky’s not… he’s not tied down or anything…”

He peeked up as Donna jotted something else down and she smiled warmly at him.

“No? Then you can shoot your shot, right?”

Tenna saw the red glow from his screen bouncing off Donna’s jewelry and felt a short burst of steam exit his vents. He needed to change the subject. Pivot, Tenna!

“S- so! When I got my contract, I was told it was imperative you be signed on for me to get my show! Can- can you tell me why? I still don’t really know what it is you DO, Mrs. Usher."

Donna took mercy on him and gracefully handled the change in topic. She relaxed back in her beanbag chair and flicked her nails nonchalantly.

“I’m here to make sure your inner goddess is elevated, honey! You, my fancy friend, are going to be a big face in the media soon! I’m just here to make sure that face isn’t just smiling on the outside, but on the inside too!”

Tenna felt so confused. Inner goddess? Did he have one of those? Was she speaking in riddles? The smiling part at least sounded… nice? He’d like that. To smile on the inside.

“How do we do that then? Are- do I need to do some test?”

Donna pulled out a little plastic container and held it out to him. It rattled as she shook it encouragingly. He balked, then lowered his screen to take a small sniff. Sugar. Cotton candy? Bubblegum! He held his hand out and she dropped a little cube of gum in his hand.

“See this little guy? Imagine that’s you, babe!”

He nodded and held his hand still. He didn’t want to drop ‘him’.

She shook out her own cube and held it in her own hand. Rolled its sides between her fingers and her cumbersome nails.

“You know how gum is made? I watched a ‘How It’s Made’ on it once! Real fun stuff!”

Tenna nodded, flicking his screen to an episode. He played that show for so long, he practically knew how half the Darkeners in his own world were made! Himself included!

Donna smiled at his display and continued.

“So gum starts out as a little ball of sap and rubber. Just plain, colorless, tasteless and bland. Not very fun for much besides chewing!”

She squeezed the gum and the cube was squished. 

“But then they add all the details, y’know? What color should it be? What flavor? How big? How sweet? All of that gets put in and makes the gum special!”

Tenna pressed his gum between fingers as well and watched the cube turn into a rectangle. 

“So, I’m a flavored gum?”

Donna popped the gum in her mouth and nodded. She started chewing obnoxiously as she spoke.

“Almost! Y’see, the metaphor isn’t PERFECT, but you know what happens to gum, don’t ya?”

Tenna cringed at her chewing with her mouth open and nodded. He followed along and licked the gum and sugar off his fingers. The sweet flavor made him smile. He’d never had gum before. This was fun!

“The chewing is the fun part! Life! Love! The roller coaster ride that we’re all tall enough to ride! It’s nice right?”

Tenna nodded as he started chewing in earnest. Every chew released another burst of flavor. He tried to remember not to swallow. He didn’t want to know what gum would become inside him.

Donna blew a bubble and popped it, smiling at his surprised expression. She blew another one, then stuck her tongue out and poked the gum with her nail. It stuck and lodged on the end of her pointer like a tiny pink booger and Tenna wrinkled his nose at it. Ew.

“So what happens to us when we take a ride, huh? What becomes of our flavor and colors and size? What changes?”

She held her finger out and Tenna leaned away from the offending thing. He frowned at the small, pale pink mass and pressed his own gum into his cheek with his tongue. He didn’t like talking with his mouth full.

“Um, doesn’t it, just get used up? Then you throw it out, or sometimes Lighteners stick them under benches or desks? Or someone’s hair?”

Donna beamed and shoved the gum back in her mouth. Gross. Did she even know where her hand had been? He discreetly wiped his own hands on his pants at the thought. Boy was he glad he wore gloves.

“Exactly! Once the gum gets all chewed up, life spits it back out! And then that poor little sap gets slapped on a park bench, or your big sisters hair, and that’s it!”

Tenna chewed more slowly as she spoke. The sweet taste was already starting to fade. The gum felt like it was getting smaller. Stiffer. Why did it have to happen so quickly? 

Donna blew another bubble and waved her fingers, flashing her glitzy nails wistfully.

“You have so many wonderful things to give, but once you're spent, you're tossed aside and forgotten like last week's old casserole! No second chances. No reruns unless someone’s feeling generous. It's there, then in a flash-!”

She managed to snap her fingers despite the nails and Tenna jumped as it echoed around the room. He felt his tail lash at the surprise and he wrapped it around his leg anxiously. This metaphor was… really depressing.

She lowered her hand and looked at him from under long lashes.

“It’s gone.”

Tenna stopped chewing and lodged the gum into his cheek again. He didn’t really know what she was telling him this for. He knew that. He was very familiar with what happened to gum. To talent. To HIM. He knew. This wasn’t news.

Tenna felt his screen dim. Was that why they hired her? Why they insisted she had to work with him? Was she here to tell him when he was used up? When he was no longer entertaining? When he didn’t make people happy anymore? Did they think he’d be too dense to know, so they brought an expert to keep tabs?

“So… that’s what you do…?”

Donne sat forward in her beanbag chair and interlocked her fingers. Her expression turned serious as she nodded her head once.

“Exactly. I’ve staked my career on fading stars, honey. Mr. Tenna, as long as I’m here, I’m going to do everything in my power…”

She stood up and posed dramatically. Hand on her chest and the other held out to the side like she was about to start reciting poetry.

“To NEVER let you think of yourself as a stupid piece of gum!”

His antenna perked up as her face contorted into one of pure, empathetic rage.

“Who gave anybody the right to treat us like we’re trash?! I’m a goddamn GODDESS on earth and I will be treated as such! I’m not used up! I’m not bland! I am NOT boring! I’m a sexy supernova and YOU!”

Tenna held his hands up as she pointed one deadly sharp nail at him. 

“You are too, buster! You're not gum! You’re a STAR! You are tall, bright and shining! You’re a dream on screen! You are NOT getting used up, honey, because I’m gonna teach you how to treat yourself right!”

Tenna nodded vigorously as she ranted at him. She was very passionate! He almost smiled. At least it sounded… nice? Not what he’d thought, anyway.

“So! First things first, sugar! What’s lacking in your diet? What does Mr. ‘Ant’ Tenna need to be his BEST self?”

Tenna floundered as the ball was thrown back in his court. His diet? He didn’t really NEED to eat? Or was that another metaphor? Did he need anything? He felt like he was perfectly fine as is!

“I don’t think I need anything?”

She stayed quiet as she wrote something down on the notepad again. He waited a few beats, then realized she was still waiting. What was he supposed to say? His mind caught onto something Mickey had said the week before. In his broken promise to Jacky. He could still fix it.

Maybe… 

“Well, I guess… I’ve been told I need to rely on my magic less? I use it quite a lot during my performances and maybe… I really shouldn’t.”

Donna set the notepad on her lap as she sat back down and frowned. Her rep lips pouted and puckered down.

“Is it bad for your health, honey? Or is it like a drug?”

Tenna scoffed and waved the notion away. He’d NEVER do drugs! And with his current audience he had more than enough love to use his magic liberally without consequence. It wasn’t bad for his health, at least not anymore. But what if she heard about the FreeMantle Incident? Well, maybe he should tell her HIS side before she hears any rumors.

“No! I- so in the beginning, doing too much wasn’t very good for me. It- it sort of exhausted the magic inside of me that keeps me running, so to speak? But only if I did a lot! Like, hours and hours of performing! Ten new sets! Three full costume changes and a new game each round!”

He waved his hands and flashed the scenes on his screen. He didn’t want to use his magic if it would upset her. He didn’t need ANOTHER magic hater on his team!

“I got carried away a few times. It wasn’t very professional of me, but I learned my lesson! No more overworking! Besides, my new show contract says I won’t be allowed to conjure up more than one set a day, so…”

Donna’s frown softened and she nodded. Wrote something else down. Actually, she was writing a LOT down. She didn’t call attention to it though. Started speaking even as her pen flew across the page.

“I get it! Burn out, right? It happens to the best of us! So maybe instead of using your magic less, we can work on some meditation and relaxation exercises? Self care can do WONDERS for the soul, sweetie!”

Tenna felt his anxiety melt away as she talked. She was treating it normally. How relieving. He was starting to burn out from the way people freaked out about his magic. Either it was dangerous for him to use or a wonder for just existing to Lighteners. It was a part of him. Something he’d had since he was created! It was perfectly natural for a Darkener to use magic. So what if he was playing a new part? It made people happy! He wasn’t even doing a lot! 

“That sounds fantastic! Maybe some relaxation is just what I need to get ready for my new show! A clear and present mind is always great for a performance!"

Donna blew another bubble and she nodded and Tenna remembered the gum in his mouth. Or… was in his mouth? Where was it? He fished around with his tongue and felt his stomach turn as he realized it was gone. Oh no.

“Anything else we wanna work on, honey? Doesn’t have to be things you heard from other people, either. What do you want to work on for yourself?”

Tenna tried to hide his anxious squirming. He couldn’t believe he’d swallowed it! What if it was stuck inside him? Gummed up his wires and joints? Or not? Would gum just turn into an item or money like other food did? But sap and rubber wasn’t food! It wasn’t meant to be swallowed! What if it gained sentience? What if he just had a… guy, in there now? Hanging out in his dark fountain? Inside him?!

“Honey?”

He gulped and decided to flush that entire train of thought. He could check his inventory once he got home! Hopefully, the gum was there alongside the rest of his items. Not… talking.

“I don’t have anything else! I’m really happy with how my life’s been going so far!”

Donna whistled around her gum and sagged in her seat. She flipped to a new page and kept writing. How many pages was that?

“Wooooow! I wish I could say that! Don’t worry sweetie, we can always come back to our personal growth goals later!”

Tenna nodded distractedly as she continued writing. Just WHAT was she writing down?

“Uhmm? What are you writing down there?”

Donna waved the notepad flippantly and then tore out a page. She passed him the paper and smiled.

“Oh! Just some things I need to pick up for our next hang out session! I‘m thinking we’ll try some meditation in the office garden, so we’ll need yoga mats. Maybe get you a journal for some self reflections? Oh! And a sturdier stress ball! Hah!”

Tenna tensed at the reminder of the stress ball. Was that a jab? He really didn’t need one! A sturdier one wouldn't be able to survive his claws anyway, so why even try? 

Wait, was that bad? Did that mean he was stressed? 

He held his breath for a moment and pressed his claws into his hands. He was fine. This mental wellness coordinator didn’t seem too worried, so he must be. He just needed to learn some self control. Use his magic less and do yoga. Meditate. He was fine.

He retracted his claws as the pain got too distracting and smiled politely. Donna seemed satisfied and moved to get up, grabbing her purse and tapping the paper she gave him.

“Now, for Friday, can you bring something to write with? I’ll probably have a notebook by then, but I have some homework for you before we meet up!”

Homework? Tenna nodded and moved to stand and help her to the door. She didn’t move beyond standing though, and held up a manicured hand and started counting off fingers.

“So when we meet after your show Friday, I just want you to make me a list, okay? I wrote it down for ya, so don’t forget! I want a list of five things that make you happy, five things that make you sad, and five things that make you angry.”

Tenna looked down at the paper and read it over. She had written that down, along with a little cartoon face next to each subject. Smiling. Sad. Rage. He felt… conflicted as he noticed she’d added his nose to each face. At least it was a flattering depiction.

“Are there any… requirements for what I can write down?”

Donna grinned proudly at him, like he’d impressed her. He felt an embarrassed flush at how happy that look made him. 

“Good question! How about we stick with nouns here? Person, place or thing! Then Friday, we can talk about some meditation exercises!”

He snapped a pen into his hand and wrote down the new rule. Person, place or thing. No verbs then. Guess performing or acting was out the window.

When he looked up he was surprised to see her hovering right next to him with her own pen. She giggled as he flinched back and leaned over to write.

“And before I forget! I don’t have my card with me this time. Left it in my other purse! You know how it is. Anyway, if you ever need me, just call and I’ll pick up, okay? I’m here for all your mental wellness needs, honey.”

Tenna was left winded as she yanked him into a quick, crushing hug and kissed the air near his shoulders on both sides. She let out a loud ‘Mwah!’ sound each time, then she was out the door. The only evidence she was even there being the smell of her perfume and the fading sound of her heels against marble floors.

Tenna looked back down at the paper and furrowed his bezel at the list. Her notepad was covered in little pink cat decals and glitter. He looked over some other notes on the margins.

’T def thirsting 4 friend lol’

‘Crashout called overworking by T, oof’

‘Stressballs are cooked, T could vibe w/ slime?’

‘T signaling discomf, easily distrac, sus of writer’

‘Srs tho T thinks J is BAE awwww!’

He felt his antenna droop at the strange scrawl. Was this code? He could hardly read any of her notes! He was tempted to ask Austin. He felt like he recognized some of the words. Austin sometimes showed him pictures with words like that. His gaze landed on the one line he could read better than the rest. 

‘IMO speech pressured, fidgeting and performative, needs more time to open up’

What the heck did THAT mean!?

————————————————

“They found it.”

Jack had been half asleep when he got the message. Sent by email, one of Sal’s guys had finally come through. Overnight security for Wayne Enterprise’s Medical Research Center. The guy had been working there for years and had noticed strange activity in the high security wing. A wing he also happened to have access to due to his tenure.

The pictures were damning.

The black and white pictures were grainy and taken at odd angles. Most were of the same testing rooms. More FreeMantle staff being exposed to videos of Tenna. New footage too. New shows. A few of Tenna not even performing, just still pictures of him from different angles. Most looked to be candid, or taken without his knowledge. Jack felt sick looking at them all, but the most important picture was his entire focus.

A picture of Tenna, from the fucking Batcave.

Not a real picture. A diagram, but of something no one should know about. That little black cube from before. Jack could still remember his confusion upon seeing it. Amorphous and beautiful, a pure void of light floating in the center of the CRT. It had been Tenna, or, what was left of him after he exhausted himself. Something so precious and fragile was never supposed to see the light of day. He’d known that the moment Bruce had opened him up. It was him, in his purest essence. Like his heart.

No. 

His soul.

And there it was, pinned to some board in what looked like a meeting room, next to diagrams of Tenna’s body and head and every other bit of him they’d managed to find. The notes and labels were impossible to read, but he could clearly see that diagram of Tenna at his most vulnerable, laid out right in the center of it all.

Jack didn’t wait more than a minute or schedule his own little meeting.

“Excuse the interruption, Mr.Wayne. Mr.Ryder, is here to-”

“Bruce.”

Bruce Wayne didn’t seem phased as Jack roughly brushed off Alfred’s attempt at an introduction. It irked him that the butler received him at the door before he even knocked. Pissed him off that he had the nerve to try and keep up appearances, like they didn’t know he’d been on the way as soon as he stepped foot on the property.

“Ryder. I wasn’t expecting a house call.”

Wayne looked impeccable and composed as ever, sitting at his desk and looking over papers like a proper businessman. Ryder wasn’t fooled.

“And I wasn’t expecting a stab in the back. Guess we both get to be disappointed today.”

Batman stayed silent, but Jack didn’t bother keeping up the banter. He wasn’t in the fucking mood. “What the hell are you doing, treating Tenna like some kind of lab rat?”

Bruce finally looked up at him and frowned. Not that he was much for smiles usually, but Ryder was glad he’d hit a nerve. Alfred turned around and quietly shut the door to the study. 

“I wasn’t aware I’d done anything of the sort.” He set his papers down and leaned back in his leather seat. Slow and cautious.

“Bullshit! Don’t try that shit with me, Bruce! You’re not subtle! What are you planning, huh? What’s your angle?” Jack stomped closer to the desk, eyes scanning what he could in hopes Bruce was stupid enough to leave more evidence out. 

Sadly, he wasn’t.

The billionaire sighed and pushed away from his desk entirely, standing and giving Jack an exhausted glare. “You’re really not going to let this go, are you?”

Jack matched Wayne’s glare with one of his own. Sneered and clenched his fists. “When it comes to him? No. You’re still doing research and that means there’s more than some withdrawals and a dopamine rush on the line here. What the fuck are you trying to find, Wayne?”

Bruce Wayne stood his ground for one more tense moment, and then, he was gone.

Batman turned and pressed one of the books on his shelf. With a soft click, the wall was switched out with a computer console. A large screen with control panels and switches. He clicked and pressed away, ignoring Jack as he seethed behind him. 

“… Where do you think it went?”

Jack stiffened. Batman kept working away, flashes of password protected files and testing statistics passing by quickly. Pictures of staff from FreeMantle. Pictures of the aftermath of the show. 

Pictures of Tenna.

“You saw how large it got. When he recovered his physical form, he’d gotten so large he’d warped space itself to fit in the CRT. Whatever that Darkness he’s made of is, it had mass. Substance.”

Security footage of the Batcave. More than five different angles of Tenna’s transformation from average TV to a full body with clothes and limbs. Footage of Jack, laying with him. Readings from the sensor Batman had placed inside him, showing anomalies and blank sets of data points that just didn’t fit.

“So if it was almost gone by the time I observed him, where did the rest of it go?”

Another screen. Chemical breakdowns. X-Ray’s and ultrasounds. Videos of Tenna performing and videos of him in office security cameras. A crying woman and a man with haunted eyes.

“Withdrawals were one symptom. Their brain chemistry was severely affected by his abilities. It can be undone, of course. Therapy and treatment for most of it, or simple re-exposure in more reasonable doses.”

Several staff Ryder did not recognize. They looked into the cameras with tired eyes, dark circles and pale skin. Laughing hysterically, or sobbing uncontrollably. Notes of manic emotional imbalance, exacerbated by exposure to “10’. Shaved heads and new wires and sensors being placed on their scalps and faces.

“But if he got inside their heads, I thought it would be prudent to see how literal it had been.”

And the screen stopped. Jack stumbled forward. Brain scans. Lots of them. Ones with… very concerning readings. Jack wasn’t a medical expert but… 

“We’ve found small traces of a foreign substance in their brains, Ryder. An average of as much as 10 milligrams. The quantity seems to vary from person to person, but it’s there. Something that we’ve never observed before. He left something inside these people, Jack.”

There were little black voids scattered in their brains. Like pen splatter. 

“He’s inside them.”

Jack shoved Batman aside. The asshole had locked the page so he couldn’t look at more than the conclusion notes and suggestions for further study bits but- Shit! No surgery, yet, but with the technology they had at their disposal, enough evidence, solid evidence, to conclude there was something. Something unnatural. Something inhuman. 

Something very possibly magic was lodged inside these fuckers brains.

Batman was back at the console and pressed a switch, the entire setup immediately folding and pulling back into his stupid James Bond bookshelf. “As long as the risk is there, I’m going to find out as much as I can about him. What he is, what he's made of, what he can do and what his magic does. What he’s done to these people is part of that, Ryder. What if that substance hurts them? Makes them sick? Gives them brain damage or impairs them in some way?”

Jack was already considering the possibilities. His magic had gotten inside them. Was it inside him too? Would it matter, with his regenerative abilities? Could Tenna undo it, or was it permanent? Why had it been inside them in the first place? Was that how he’d messed with those peoples heads? Could he still do it if that stuff was still in there? 

Batman turned back around and gave Jack a cold stare. “It’s my duty to find out.”

Shit. Right. He needed to stop this. Jack swallowed down his panic. “You have no right to be surveilling him and studying him without his consent-“

“As far as I know, he’s not legally defined as a citizen under those rights. More importantly, those people he took hostage have given their consent and more. As injured parties they’re more than able to ask for assistance and support for their own safety and wellbeing.” Batman stepped forward and Jack stumbled back. The force of him was enough to knock lesser men off their feet, but thankfully, Jack Ryder was used to being intimidated by more powerful people than him. 

Though he wasn’t a huge fan of his new enemy being fucking Batman. 

Blue eyes went ice cold as his voice lowered. “The research will continue, and beyond bringing him here myself, we’ll continue observing Mr.Tenna and collecting data as needed.”

Jack felt his mouth dry. Not good. Batman wasn’t playing around with this. Jack knew what he was like when he found a new adversary. He was a control freak with an unlimited amount of cash to invest in his obsessions, that being keeping the people of Gotham city safe. It didn’t matter if Tenna had done it on accident. It didn't matter if his magic was harmless now that he was in a better place. It didn’t matter if Tenna was the sweetest, more loving guy in the entire city. Those crying, weary people were enough. More than enough for Batman to decide he needed to save the day. He’d found a threat to Gotham and now, he wasn’t getting off the trail until he was sure he could neutralize it, or control it.

Ryder turned on his heel and made his way to the door. He needed to get back to Tenna. To make sure he wasn’t slipping with his magic again. To make sure he was okay. To ask him one more time, if he could explain what that hell he’d done at that show.

He needed to figure out his magic, and fast.

“… you know if I asked him, he’d agree Ryder.”

He stopped. Felt his blood boil at the pitying tone. He didn’t need that shit. Not from him. Not when he was threatening the only thing that mattered to him for some asshats in an office building with depression. 

Bruce looked at him like he was the most pitiful man in the city. “He seems like someone who would want nothing more than to help others. He’d want to help them.”

Jack gave him the bird and rushed out the doors. He needed to get home. It was late anyway. Tenna was probably waiting for him. So what if he wanted to help them? Tenna would give away his still beating heart if someone asked for it convincingly enough. He was too kind for his own good. That was the fucking problem.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”