Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Fuck, it’s freezing!” comes a familiar voice from the doorway. The bell above the door rings as she speaks, and I look up from behind the counter. She’s walking arm in arm with Remus, wearing the same outfit from school today—black tights with holes and ladders all over them, to the point I’m convinced it’s a choice, a pair of minishorts that surely can’t be keeping her warm, a striped long-sleeve shirt, and a scarf around her neck. Most of all, she looks gorgeous.

The door closes behind them, and the cold lingers for a second, tugging at the smell of coffee and cinnamon that’s settled into the shop’s walls.. Sirius comes up next to me. He’s been waiting. 

“Moony!” he calls before they’ve barely taken a step inside. Other customers look up at the abrupt noise, but at this point it’s to be expected. It’s not a Wednesday, meaning Remus doesn’t have speech and debate club. Why wouldn’t he come to see his boyfriend after school?

They walk up to the counter. Remus is wearing a brown corduroy jacket that I’m sure I’ve seen Sirius in before. 

“Coffee, black, please,” Remus says, as if Sirius didn’t already know. He flashes a smile, picking up an already made coffee and handing it to his boyfriend. 

“You’re too predictable,” Sirius says, handing over the cup. He then adds, “Don’t worry, it’s still hot.” Remus’ cheeks are red by now, which I’m certain isn’t from the cold. “Anything for you, Lils?”

“No thank you, Black.”

“Not the usual?” I ask. “Got a few croissants left—”

“James, I can’t order twice a day. I already came in before school.”

“Aw no, you came in while we weren’t working?” Sirius asks, sticking out his bottom lip. “You mean we missed our favourite customers?”

“Yes,” Lily replies briskly, tossing her red hair over her shoulder. She smiles as she says it though, and it lights up her face. God, she’s stunning. “In fact, we avoided you on purpose.”

“Oh, Evans, you wound me.”

“Boo hoo.” She turns to Remus. “Come on, we came to do homework.”

Remus tries to stall a little longer. “Go on, Lils, at least get a drink. You need to warm up somehow. Like you said—”

“Yes, yes, I said it was freezing. It’s not that cold. But fine, I’ll have—”

“We know,” I interrupt. “Unless you’re changing it up?”

Lily sighs. “No, same as always. Thank you, Potter.”

“I’ll bring it to the table!” I call as they walk away, headed for the booth in the back they always go to. Sirius pinches my stomach from behind. “Too much?” I ask, dropping my voice a little.

“Too much,” he agrees, just as quiet. “Go on then, loverboy, get her her drink.” He pats me on the back, then, before getting back to work. 

You’d expect Fridays to be busier, but our town is small and most kids prefer to go home and get ready for whatever party Crouch and Rosier are throwing this week. Remus and Lily come here to study, however. Little weirdos. 

Sirius and I are only here to work, which makes us clearly superior to them. And we’ll go to the party later, as well. It’s not like there’s much else to do on a weekend in Maple Hollow, anyway. I finish Lily’s drink—honey lavender latte—and throw in the butter croissant she usually has with it. 

When I take it to the table, she opens her mouth to protest. “On the house,” I say before she can, setting the plate down, then her coffee. It’s hard to find a spot on the table which isn’t covered in notes. She half-closes her laptop screen, which is enough of an invitation to speak for me.

“What are we studying today?”

She sighs like she doesn’t want to be talking to me, but eventually replies, “Remus is preparing for his next debate, and I’m going over notes for my psych essay. Has Black finished that, yet?”

“No, obviously not.”

“Well, tell him to. I need to peer review with someone and God help me if I have to work with Benjy again. Useless—”

“Right, I’ll get onto him.”

“Thank you.” She beams. “Seriously, Potter, thank you.”

I shrug. “Perks of having a friend behind the counter.”

“Oh please, you wish I was your friend—”

But nothing she can say will wipe the grin off my face, because she just looked me in the eye and smiled at me. 

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

Maple Hollow is ready for Halloween. That much as clear as Sirius and I walk home after our shift. We spend loads of our time at Deja Brew, when we’re not doing school work or pulling pranks or going to parties or throwing parties—My point still stands.

Sirius has taken his silky black hair out of the bun he wears behind the counter. The breeze picks it up every now and then, blowing it into his face. The streets are orange as we walk down them, avoiding freshly raked piles of leaves (except for the one outside of Severus Snape’s house) and admiring pumpkins here and there.

“Shit,” Sirius says as we approach the door. “Where does Mum keep the extra key?”

“Don’t tell me you left it at work—”

“Is it under the mat or in the plant pot?”

“Just knock on the bloody door, you tosser. You’re the one who left our keys behind.” We used to have separate sets of keys, but two weeks ago Sirius lost his set and we’ve been sharing since. Dad keeps saying he’ll get it sorted and have another pair made, but I’m not convinced that’ll happen any time soon. 

Eventually, Sirius knocks on the door. 

We didn’t always live together, not until the end of year 11, when Sirius was disowned—officially. Proper kicked out, hasn’t spoken to his parents since. He barely speaks to his little brother anymore. Since we were already practically siblings (and he spent most of his time at our house anyway), it didn’t take much to convince my parents to take him in.

Mum opens the door. “Hello, loves. How was school today? How was work?” She doesn’t give us time to answer, barely even gives herself a pause, before continuing. “Is Remus coming around later? Or are you two going out again? C’mere.” She hugs the both of us, then insists we hang up our jackets.

“I just put some chai on. That’ll warm you up. Was it too cold walking back?”

“No, Mum,” I say, sitting down at the table. 

“Good, good. Sirius? You’re not too cold?”

“No, Mum,” he echoes, grinning, but his nose is considerably red. “Tea smells good. How long till it’s ready?”

“Now, beta, be patient. I told you I just put it on.”

He sighs, sitting down across from me. “You first, or me?”

“I can start. Right.” I try to remember all of her questions. “School was fine. You know how it is. Work was great, Lily Evans smiled at me—don’t roll your eyes, she did!—and I think we’re going to a party at Crouch’s later.”

“You watch out for that boy. Susan’s mum says he’s bad news.”

“Since when do you care what Susan’s mum thinks?” 

Mum shrugs. “Sirius?”

“School was good, but I had psychology and I really need to get started on my essay. Work was alright, didn’t do much. Got to see Remus, though. He’s not coming over later, think he and Evans are doing their movie marathon. Every other Friday, he says. And yeah, Barty’s party later.”

“Why don’t you see if you can go to Remus’ instead, join the movie watching. You’ve got work in the morning, and I really don’t think going out partying—”

“But Mum, it’s Friday!” Sirius whines. “Only losers refuse to go to parties on Fridays.”

“Beta,” she chuckles. “Are you calling your boyfriend a loser?”

“What? No! I just—” he splutters. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll ask him.”

“You’re a good son, aren’t you?”

This makes Sirius quite literally glow with pride. Mum serves up the chai, and we sip it whilst she tells us about her day, the steam curling from the cups warm against our fingers. Dad’s still off at work, but she finished a while earlier. Made some cookies—which we can have after dinner. And then she watched some more of her current TV obsession: medical dramas. Right now she’s on series nine of one, and insists it’s still good. 

Eventually we get an answer from Remus: yes we can join, no we can’t talk through the movies. Sirius tries asking if we can at least pick the movies, and all he gets in response is a thumbs down. 

“It was worth a shot. D’you think we should wear pyjamas?”

“Ask Remus.”

“He says wear what you want. Come on Jamie, it’s time to pull out our matching Halloween jammies.”

“God, I hate you sometimes.”

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

As we’re walking to Remus’ house, I try to tell Sirius we can’t stay out too late; he seems to think he’s staying the night. “I just don’t get why we can’t stay over. Remus is fine with it!”

“Look, I just want to get in early for work tomorrow. I have a surprise.”

“What the—Fine, whatever. But that’s a you thing. Plus, you get up so early every morning you practically beat the sun—”

“It’s not hard,” I mutter. Sirius ignores me expertly.

“So, we can stay the night and you can wake up extra early to get to the cafe on time. Easy as pie, right? Also, what’s your surprise?”

“Well, it’s a surprise.”

“You tosser. Thought we told each other everything.”

“We do, I just wanted to do this one thing. And don’t worry, I’ve already spoken it over with the boss. He likes Halloween as much as you do, so he doesn’t—I’ve said too much.”

“If you’re planning on decorating the store, I’m so down to help.” I grin but provide no answers.

The walk to Remus’s isn’t long at all, about fifteen minutes, but it feels longer against the cold. It’s later in the evening, now, and we can see our breath in front of us when we get to the door. Only a few lights are on inside, one upstairs and one downstairs. Whilst we wait for someone to get the door, I can’t help but notice their lack of pumpkins.

“They’re waiting. Remus wants to carve them altogether. You, me, Pete. Says it’ll be fun,” Sirius explains, taking out his phone.

“We wouldn’t have to wait as long if you’d just knock on the door.”

“God, no. What if his dad answers? I’m terrified of Lyall.” Just then Remus opens the door, and Sirius breathes a visible sigh of relief. The coward.

Remus gives him a quick kiss, then waves at me. “You’re late.”

“Two minutes!” Sirius protests.

“Two minutes late, yes,” Remus replies as we step into his house. It’s quaint, and quite narrow, with a staircase close to the entrance. “Lily’s making popcorn. I was about to set the movie up.”

“Are you sure I can’t pick the movie? I have really good taste,” Sirius continues as we follow Remus into the sitting room. He sits down on the sofa, as comfortable as if it’s own home, wrapping himself in a blanket. 

“No, we don’t feel like watching mindless horror, Sirius,” Remus sighs, sitting down next to him and picking up the remote control. “James, are you gonna sit down?”

“What? Yeah.” 

The couch is long, in an L shape. They’ve taken up the corner, leaning against each other and stretching their legs out, so I sit toward the other side. 

“This is only missing one thing,” Sirius says wistfully as Remus sets up a film. He rolls his eyes but doesn’t interrupt. “Peter. My little Wormy should be here.”

“Well this was meant to be time for Lily and I to see each other. Without you, babe. It’s not my fault you invited yourself. Plus, he’s probably busy at Barty and Evan’s.”

“Oh my God don’t say that, it makes Peter sound cooler than us!”

“You’re joking—” Remus whacks him with a cushion as Lily walks into the room, a large bowl of popcorn in each hand. Her hair is falling out of a plait, the loose strands tucked behind her ears, and she’s wearing a t-shirt way too big for her and fluffy pyjamas. 

“Sorry, Lils, Sirius stole your seat.”

“Of course he did,” she replies, giving them one of the bowls of popcorn. “No complaints, either of you, Remus and I always do sweet and salty.”

“As long as you don’t put M&Ms in it,” Sirius says. Next to him, Remus grins. “Don’t you dare—”

Lily walks over and sits down near me, putting the bowl of popcorn in between us. “I like your pyjamas.”

Fuck that’s embarrassing. I feel the heat rise to my face as I reply, “Sirius and I are matching.”

“I know.” She crosses her legs. “Remus, can you pass us a blanket?”

“Can do, but this prat didn’t pick up my message to bring his own. So we’re working with two.” He hands her an overly fluffy blanket covered in cats. “AKA, you have to share.”

“I’m not that cold—” I begin to offer, but Sirius quickly interrupts.

With a sly grin he echoes, “You have to share.”

Lily sighs and hands me the bowl of popcorn, then moves up to where it had been next to me on the sofa. She drapes the blanket over our legs, and I put the bowl in my lap. She offers me an awkward smile. I can see Sirius whispering something to Remus, who rolls his eyes and hands him the remote. Lily’s clearly clocked it too.

“Absolutely not, Remus. He is not choosing the movie.”

“I told him not to pick anything scary.”

“Too late!” Sirius sings, firing up Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. 

“No, no, no, fuck off,” Lily protests. “I can’t with gore.”

“Just close your eyes during the scary parts,” Sirius suggests. 

“You’re the worst. Remus, he’s the worst.”

“I know,” Remus says, tilting his head and kissing Sirius. Next to me, Lily huffs. I try to focus on the movie, as it begins, but I can feel her knee against my leg under the blanket. 

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

Toward the end of the movie, I can feel Lily’s warmth against my side. Her head is dangerously close to resting on my arm, and every time I reach for popcorn my hair stands on end. Sirius has fallen asleep, snoring quietly, face pushed into Remus’ chest. 

We’re onto the last scene by now, and when Leatherface pops up in the back of Chrissie’s car, Lily screams, instinctively grabbing my hand under the blanket. OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod. Lily Evans is holding my hand. 

Sirius groans at being woken up before rolling further into Remus and going back to sleep.

“Alright, Lils?” Remus murmurs, barely moving as he turns to us.

Lily is bright red, but she nods anyway. “Sirius is never picking the movie again,” she adds, releasing my hand and giving me another one of her awkward smiles. I think I’m grinning back. Fuck. Some of the popcorn has spilled onto the blanket around us from when she jumped, and she busies herself with picking it up. 

“Any updates on his psych essay?” she asks quietly, clearly trying to fill what she sees as an awkward silence. I guess it kind of is, with Remus now falling asleep against his boyfriend as well. 

“I don’t think he’s even started it.”

“Naturally. Tosser.”

“Well, I guess he’s staying the night. Are you?”

“No. My mum would freak out if I slept over at a boy’s house. It’s stupid, really, since Remus is allowed to stay the night at mine, but—No, I’m not staying the night.”

“Nah, me neither. I have something important to do before work tomorrow?”

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who wake up early to go running in the morning, Potter.”

I keep that to myself. “Something else. Doesn’t matter. Uh…do you want me to walk you home?” 

How is it possible that I turn into the most awkward man ever around her? I’m such a good talker around everyone else ever, and here I am mumbling out questions like a loser.

“Pardon?”

“Well I was just asking, should I walk you home?”

Her smile drops a little. “No, no, it’s quite alright. I don’t think we’re in the same direction, anyway—”

“So you’re just going to walk home alone? In the dark? Do you at least have a jacket?”

“You sound like my mum.”

“Do you?”

She shakes her head. “It really isn’t far, I don’t need—”

“So I can walk you. No trouble.”

“I don’t need you to walk me.”

“I know. I wouldn’t be doing my mother proud if I didn’t try. She didn’t raise me to let someone walk home alone this late. And in this weather without a jacket. I don’t know if you noticed, but it’s starting to rain.”

“Well aware. And I appreciate it, but—”

“Lily.”

“I won’t put you to the trouble—”

“Lily.”

“Fine, fine! You can walk me home.” I grin at her, set the popcorn bowl on the coffee table, and stand up. She folds up the blanket and puts it in a tote bag it doesn't look like it should fit into. “Come on, then.”

I follow her out the door, and the cold bites at my skin. The rain seems to lash down on us, and I’m not surprised to see goosebumps lining Lily’s arms. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Yeah.”

She leads the way, which is good because I’ve no clue where she lives, and when we end up outside of Severus Snape’s house I’m left with my mouth slightly agape. The leaves on his lawn and driveway are still a mess, thanks to Sirius and I—

“This is it, thank you.”

I realise I haven’t even looked at her house, which turns out to be the one next to Snape’s. It’s small, narrower than Remus’s, with two floors. The houses around seem to tower over it. Rain pelts against my skin, reminding me I still haven’t said anything.

“Wow.” The word slips out before I can stop it. Brilliant, James. Real smooth.

“I know it’s not much,” she replies quickly, slightly defensive. “But thank you for walking me.”

“Yeah, ‘course. And I like it. No pumpkins, though.”

A hint of a smile plays on her face and internally I glow. Thank God. “Not yet. Well, goodnight, Potter.”

“Goodnight, Lily.”

Chapter Text

I arrive at Deja Brew bright and early in the morning, well before it opens—like my boss and I agreed I could, and get to work. There aren’t many workers here and I’ve spoken to all of them as well, not including Sirius, so I have no reason not to get to work.

In theory, my job is quick and easy. Turns out it isn’t. First I have to erase all of the blackboards hosting our current menu (and pray that someone has our normal menu saved elsewhere). Then I have to write in the names of all the new options, still including basics like espressos and americanos and whatever. I printed out the recipes at home, so that there aren’t any struggles behind the counter.

The hard part is drawing in all the Halloween doodles to decorate the boards. I’m no artist; where’s Peter when you need him? Without a doubt asleep, so there’s no point bothering him. I give it my best shot but I can’t say it looks amazing by the time I’m done. Someone will appreciate it, I’m sure.

Much to what I’m sure will be Sirius’ disappointment, I do begin to decorate the store—just a little—to keep my theme going. By the time I’m done, I have to say the place looks pretty good.

Sirius, unfortunately, does not agree. The door swings open as I let him in, and he’s already talking: “What in the world have you—”

“Don’t you love it?” I ask, helping him to tie his apron up. “Don’t worry, the new recipes are all printed out behind the counter—”

“You changed the menu?!”

“Surprise!”

“I don’t know if you’re insane or an idiot.” He takes a moment to think. “Probably both.” He ties his hair into the usual bun and joins me behind the counter. “Right, walk me through the new recipes then.”

“I knew you’d come around.”

“Yeah, yeah. Your artwork is rubbish, by the way.”

I almost choke on my own pride. “Woah, hey—”

“Don’t shoot the messenger.”

“But it’s your message.”

He holds his hands up. “Are you teaching me, or what?”

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

Lily bustles into the cafe, red hair up in a bun that is far from neat, leather bag on her shoulder, so full of books it won’t close. Her nose is quite red, and a sharp wind comes into the cafe with her. As she looks up at the blackboards her mouth falls open.

“Potter, what on earth have you done?”

There are very few other customers in the cafe this close to opening, so as she walks quickly toward the counter there’s nowhere for me to turn my attention. Sirius has, helpfully, backed away and started making himself a drink. How supportive.

“Happy Halloween,” I offer.

“It’s the thirteenth.”

“It’s October.”

“You’ve changed the entire menu. Don’t tell me you’ve—” Her eyes scan the black boards again. “Is this a joke? Seriously, are you joking?” She’s leaning against the counter now. 

“Guessing you don’t like it?”

“I—I don’t not like it, I just—”

“You’ve taken her usual off the menu, James,” Sirius tells me, brushing past me with his cup. 

“It’s only for October, Lily, don’t worry.”

“But you still have all the ingredients, right?”

“Technically—”

“So you can still make it?”

“But the theme—”

“James, if you’ve got the ingredients—”

I drop my voice, “Lils if I make an exception for you I’d have to make exceptions for other customers and then what’s the point in having a new menu, you know?”

She looks up at me through her thick eyelashes, heaving a sigh. “Really?” Looking into her green eyes I’m tempted to give in.

“Really. Well—”

“Don’t tell me you’ve gotten rid of your butter croissants as well?” she interrupts before I can offer to make an exception—’just this once’. 

I grin. “No. One of those?”

“Yes please.” She hands me some cash, the exact change, and waits for me to put her croissant into a paper bag. I pass it over the counter to her. “I can’t believe you.”

Shit. Is she mad? “Are you mad?”

She shrugs. “It’s not my cafe. Plus, it’s probably good for me. I’m trying to save money, anyway. And I probably spend too much time in here. You know, with the baking contest coming up.”

“You’re entering that?”

“Mhm. Usually do.”

“But last year—”

“Last year I didn’t. Sev couldn’t help me and he usually does. He can’t again this year, but it’s not so last minute, so—”

“I can help you.” Oh my God. Words just seem to tumble out of my mouth around her. Why on earth would I offer? I can’t bake!

She’s just as surprised as I am, and her eyebrows raise a little. “I mean—”

“Go on, James,” Sirius says. Then to Lily, “He’s great at taste testing. Helps Mum in the kitchen all the time. Plus, extra help means more time to study, and we all know you’re a nerd.”

“If you have the time, then,” she agrees eventually. How have I managed this? And why is she OK with it? And— “Monday, after school, then? You know where my house is.”

At a loss for words I just about manage to sputter out, “Yes—yeah, sure. Monday after school.”

Once she leaves, and the bell above the door signifies her exit, Sirius leans forward and whispers, “You twat. Didn’t even ask if I could pick up your shift.” I turn and look at him, but before I can even ask he says, “But I’m the best brother in the world, so I will.” Then he claps me on the back and gets on with his work. 

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

Remus comes in later, whilst we’re on break, so we slide into a booth with him whilst he drinks his favourite of my Halloween recipes. I can smell the pumpkin on his breath as he talks to us, sliding a flyer across the table.

“Autumn festival’s officially been announced.” Maple Hollow is about the only English town that takes Halloween, and the season in general, so seriously. “No corn maze this year, though.”

“Good. Remember when those year eights got lost in it?” 

Sirius snorts.

Remus continues, “The baking contest is happening at the main festival this year. And there’s going to be a fair.”

“Well, I can’t wait,” Sirius says. “But more importantly, what are we all wearing to Barty and Evan’s party? I know Pete and Sybill are doing some costume together.” He clicks his fingers. “Oh yeah, they’re being pirates together.”

“Yawn,” Remus replies. “Pete was a pirate last year.”

“Go on, Moony, give us your Halloween opinions,” Sirius urges.

“Yeah. I remember your werewolf costume in year seven. Pure gold.”

“Piss off, both of you. You should go together as dumb and dumber.”

“Bet you thought you were real clever for that,” Sirius says with a smirk. “Really, though, what are we going as? This is serious, guys! Last secondary school Halloween costumes. We want iconic, and sexy, and—”

“And I’m bored,” Remus decides. “Let’s talk about something else. What’s new in your life, James?”

“Well, funny that you ask—”

“He’s helping Evans with her baking for the contest!” Sirius interrupts. He lowers his voice. “Sorry, mate. I think I’m more excited than you are.”

“You’re what?” Remus exclaims.

“Well Sev can’t help her, I don’t know, and the offer just came out! And then Sirius told her how much I help Mum in the kitchen—which I do—and she just agreed.”

“Lily Evans agreed to have you, James Potter, help her?”

“I’m as surprised as you are. God, what if I set fire to her kitchen?”

“Jesus—Did something possess her? James, can you even bake?”

“Well, no, but I can follow instructions. It can’t be that hard, can it?”

“You’re an idiot,” Remus says. “A fool.”

“No, Remus, he’s in love.”

“Aren’t they the same?” I ask. 

“Alright, loverboy, back to work,” Sirius says eventually, clapping me on the back. “Tell us before you leave, Moony.”

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

It’s particularly cold this evening, but I keep my bedroom window open. Sirius is lounging on my bed, supposedly typing up his psychology essay. We don’t share a room, but he spends half his time in here regardless. 

He groans, and I look up from my business studies exam practice. “I’m so bored, James,” he complains. “Can we do something else?”

“Sirius, it’s Sunday evening and your first draft is due tomorrow. And I really need to finish this practice test.” He sighs dramatically, but I hear the rhythmic tapping of his keyboard and know he’s gotten back to work. I think he struggles to focus in my room, because of all the posters on the wall, and the fact my speaker is always playing.

Don’t get me wrong, Sirius loves music. That’s the problem. He sings along to Waterloo Sunset so badly I think about skipping the song—even though it’s one of my favourites. So easily distracted.

“James, the corner of your poster’s falling.”

“Which?”

“One of the football ones.”

“Can you put it back up for me?”

“Can’t reach it.” And the typing resumes, as well as the singing, and now I’m the one struggling to focus. Of course I don’t say anything, I’d rather have his company than not. No matter how distracting. 

“So, tomorrow…” he begins, waiting for me to pick up his conversation.

“Sirius. Work.”

“Ugh if I actually wanted to do homework I’d get Remus to come over. He’s already threatening me if I don’t get this draft finished before dinner. Says he’ll get Lily involved too. I can’t believe she wants to peer review with me—”

“Sirius. I’m studying.”

“Woah, there’s a sentence you’ve never said before. Come on. You’ll do fine in business management—”

“Business studies.”

“Whichever. You’re naturally smart. What’s the lowest score you got in mocks?”

“Piss off.”

“Talk to me.”

“You’re a terrible influence.” I make no progress on my practice paper after that, sitting on the bed with him instead. Every now and then he interrupts our conversation to sing a little bit of whatever’s playing, and I have to kick him. 

“Really, though, what are you going to do tomorrow, James? She’ll see right through you, it’ll be obvious that you can’t bake.”

“It can’t be that difficult!”

“Tell that to the poor chap who got eliminated on Great British Bake Off last week. Don’t roll your eyes, Mum said it was that or her medical drama. I had to pick before she did.”

“I will figure it out. It’ll be fine. I can be—what’s it called? The guy who tastes everything. Sous-chef?”

“Don’t think so. Maybe taste tester.”

“I’ll take it. And I can follow instructions well enough. That’s why Mum makes me help in the kitchen instead of you.”

“Yeah, but you’re also the guy who came up with Spooky Coffee as one of the menu items.”

“My lack of creativity is in no way relevant to this conversation.” I kick him again, but this time he kicks me back. Mum walks in before I can get him in a headlock.

“Childish, both of you. Come on, dinnertime.”

“Fuck!” Sirius exclaims. “James, my essay!” Mum raises an eyebrow. “Shit. No. Um. Sorry for swearing Mum.”

“Finish your essay after dinner,” I tell him. “Oh, Mum, you bake. How hard is it?”

“Oh, beta. Harder than you think.” Sirius laughs in my face.

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

Peter and Sybill are walking hand-in-hand when I see them after form. Her coily blonde hair has different pins all throughout it, and it almost covers her face when she smiles at me. She nudges Pete to look at me too. 

“James! You weren’t at the party on Friday,” Peter says, beaming. “It was great fun. Shame you missed it. Where were you guys?”

Knowing Peter, he could talk forever, so I interrupt him before I lose track of the questions. “Remus’ house for a movie marathon. Totally gate crashed it. Mum didn’t want us going to the party. Said that Susan’s mum told her Barty was bad news.”

“Susan’s mum? Who’s Susan?”

“She’s in our art class, Pete,” Sybill says with mock exasperation. 

“Oh, right. James, did you see, Remus has invited us over on Thursday for pumpkin carving. Are you going? Because I’m thinking about it but I have so much history homework that I’m not sure. Actually, Remus has history too, so if he can make time for it—”

“I’ll probably go. As long as it starts after rugby practice.”

“Oh yeah! You have rugby practice on Thursday. Doesn’t Remus have speech and debate?”

“That’s Wednesdays, hun,” Sybill says. “I need to get to class. What do you have first?”

Peter sighs. “I have economics.”

“Mm. I’ve got modern language, so I better go. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yep. Love you.” She kisses him on the cheek before hurrying away, and Pete turns positively red. I’d laugh but I know I’m not much better, so I squeeze him on the shoulder.

“Well, I’d better go. English first period, and you know how Minnie is about being late.”

“No, James, she calls it tardiness.” He grins. “I need to go too, I didn’t finish my economics homework. Maybe I should start joining Remus in your coffee shop after school to study. I heard you changed the menu. Is it any good?”

“It’s great, Pete. I came up with it myself. Could’ve done with your help with the drawings, though, ‘cause I can’t doodle to save my life.”

His face lights up. “Oo, I can come over after school today! Draw on the blackboards for you?”

“I mean, I won’t be working today but Sirius will be there. If you tell him I told you—”

An alarm on his watch goes off. “OK! Will do! Gotta run, James. Have fun in English!” And he’s off, headed up the stairs before I can get a goodbye out. 

There’s no harm done going to English early, where Professor McGonagall is sitting behind her desk, talking to someone. She has a smart board, but she insists on using the whiteboard, and it’s already full of small blue letters. I knock on the door and she nods to let me in. “James. You’re early.”

“For once,” Lily adds, sitting in the front row. I go to my normal seat, a few behind her. 

“As you were saying, Miss Evans,” McGonagall says when Lily doesn’t continue.

“Right. So, I reread A Streetcar Named Desire the other night, and I was wondering—”

The door opens again and other students file in, Sirius and Remus amongst them, cutting Lily off again. “Why don’t you email me,” McGonagall suggests, and Lily nods. Sirius sits down next to me.

“Where’d you disappear to after form?” Sirius whispers, leaning over without an ounce of subtlety. 

“I was speaking to Pete and Sybill. I told Pete he could go to the cafe after school to decorate the blackboards. Hope you don’t mind.”

“No, I’d be grateful. Your artwork is an eyesore.”

“Piss off. Like you could do better.”

“I really do think I could, you know. But I couldn’t do better than Peter, so I won’t bother.”

“Coward,” I whisper.

“You little—”

Professor McGonagall clears her throat. “If I start my lesson will I be interrupting you, boys?” She doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “Now, I expect you’ve all gone over the feedback I gave you on your last paper, and if you haven’t, do that in your next study period. Now, have you all read up to act two of Othello?”

Sirius grimaces at me as the rest of the class mumble out variations of the word yes. “Mr Black? Mr Potter?”

“You know I have, Minnie,” Sirius beams. 

“I’ll write you up if you’re not careful, young man. I want it read before next class. You too, James. Now, onto the lesson.”

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

I meet Lily at the gate after school, where she’s speaking to Snape. It looks a little like they’re arguing, at first, so I try to keep my distance. Severus raises his voice when he spots me, though. “Speak of the devil.”

“Sev, I really don’t understand what the problem is. I asked you first—”

“He bullied me!”

“In year eight!”

“Well he never apologised.”

“You weren’t a little angel, now, were you?” She turns to me. “Come on, Potter, we need to go. I still have work to do after we’ve baked, so we need to start as soon as possible.” Her tone is brisk, as if she is trying to rid her voice of all emotions. “Are you walking with us, Sev?”

“No. I think I’ll wait for Regulus.”

“Fine.” She starts walking without me, and I quicken my pace to catch up with her. Her nose is red, as it usually is when she’s out in the cold, and her red hair is in low pigtails today. 

“Are you alright, Lily?”

“Yes. And you?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright. Is he OK?”

“Oh he’ll be fine. He’s just being dramatic because he’s jealous of you.” Her hands—which are wearing red, fingerless mittens,  cover her mouth. “I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t laugh!”

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at him. I won’t tell him you said that. Plus, I always knew he was a little jealous. Who wouldn’t be?”

“So stuck up. He’ll get over it. It’s his own fault for not wanting to work with me again. I couldn’t not enter two years in a row.” We walk back the rest of the day, mostly quietly, stopping outside of her house. 

“Don’t expect too much,” she says, a hint of embarrassment in her voice. Red creeps up her neck as she unlocks her door. “My older sister will get home whilst we’re baking. Just ignore her. And my parents won’t be back till after you’ve left, so…”

“Yeah, no worries. Should I put my bag down here, or—”

“There’s fine. Shoes off too, if you don’t mind. It’s for my mum.”

“My mum’s the same.”

“Oh good. Sorry it’s so cold in here, we try to only turn the heating on in the evenings.” She laughs dryly. “Not much warmer than outside, is it?”

“It’s fine. I’m sure we’ll be grateful for it when the oven’s on.” 

She smiles appreciatively, as if she’s surprised I haven’t made fun of her or something. “Well, the kitchen’s this way, if you want to come through.”

I follow her to a small kitchen, with just enough room for two people to work somewhat comfortably together. Hopefully she doesn’t expect too much of me. I’m starting to regret offering to help as she gets out bowls and sets the oven to heat. At least the backsplash is cute, with patterned tiles that compliment the curtains. 

A loud thump takes me out of my thoughts, and I turn to see that she’s placed a large, handwritten book on the counter. “Blimey…”

“Family recipe book,” she explains. “Have you ever made pumpkin pie before?”

“No—” I begin, preparing a defense.

She smirks. “Two rules. Number one, no sharing the recipe. With anyone.”

“OK.”

“Rule number two, you do exactly what I say.”

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

Lily lets me try the pumpkin pie when it’s finished cooling, and I think I’ve actually fallen in love. She looks at me expectantly, and I think I stare back with hearts for eyes. I’m about to tell her just how good it is when the front door opens, and another chill is sent into the house.

The frostiness seems to cling to Lily’s older sister though, as she walks into the house. Her face is long, her small lips stuck in a straight line, her brown hair in an elegant bun. “Lily,” she says, placing a bag of shopping onto the counter. “You haven’t turned the heating on.”

Lily glances at me apologetically, then replies, “Mum and Dad said to only put it on when we needed to.” She drops her voice but I still hear her. “To save money.”

“Oh, sissy, come on, no need to whisper it. Everyone in this town knows we’re poor.” She takes off her shoes, muttering, “Little gossips.”

Next to me, red creeps up Lily’s neck again, the same way it did when she opened the door to the house, and I realise where that initial embarrassment must have come from. Shit. Other things start to make sense too; not being able to order too often from the cafe, her second hand textbooks…

“Petunia—”

“Vernon’s coming over for tea tonight, by the way. I already checked with Mummy. Make sure your friend is gone before he gets here.” Petunia turns to make her way upstairs. “Oh, and Lily? Turn the heating on.”

“Sorry about her,” Lily says, wiping her hands on a tea towel. “Pet’s just like that these days. After she didn’t get accepted to the uni she wanted to go to.” She sighs. “Doesn’t matter. Let me go get the heating.” When Lily comes back, she asks, “How is it?”

“Oh, the pie? It’s incredible.” Her face lights up. “Competition winner worthy.”

“You flatter me, Potter.” She begins tidying up, running warm water in the sink to do the dishes.

“Aren’t you having any?”

“I’ll have some after dinner, I think. You can take some home, if you want. Team effort.”

Team. Lily Evans just referred to us as a team. “Uh—Um, yeah, sure. But you have to try a little. Check it’s good enough to serve.”

She raises an eyebrow. “I thought you said it was competition winner worthy.”

“Don’t you want to see for yourself?”

“You’re quite convincing,” she says.

“You’re quite stubborn.” I pass her my fork, and she tries some. 

“It could be better. Next time, though.”

“Lily—”

“I need to do the washing up.” She turns around. “Pass me that plate when you’re done.”

“Sure, yeah. Can I help at all? If you tell me where everything goes I can—”

“Go on, then.” We tidy the kitchen together, and she cuts a generous amount of pie for me to take home with me, putting it in a plastic tub. “Make sure this gets back to me, please. Mum would kill me if it went missing.”

“‘Course.”

Petunia comes downstairs again, shouting, “Lily it’s bloody freezing! Did you turn the heating on?”

“Yes, Pet. It’s just October. That’s how it is.”

She huffs. “Is the pie done?”

“Yes.”

“Well, is it any good?”

“I’d like to think so. I’m saving the rest for dessert, since we’ll have guests—”

Petunia walks into the kitchen and helps herself to a slice of the pumpkin pie. Lily presses her lips together but doesn’t say anything. I try to give her a reassuring smile, but I don’t think it helps too much.

“Mummy says she’s coming home early today, by the way,” Petunia adds, her mouth full. She turns to me, addressing me for the first time, “You should go soon.”

“I was actually thinking of calling Mum. We have some English homework, so—”

“Can’t you do it with Severus instead?”

“I thought you didn’t like Sev.”

“I don’t, but at least I know him. You can’t just keep bringing boys into the house, Lily.”

“Oh my God, Pet—”

“Just have Severus over instead, if you must. I’m going back upstairs.” She leaves again, taking the plate with her, and Lily looks like she’s on the verge of tears. 

I take a step forward but she quickly says, “It’s fine. Having nothing to do is taking a toll on her, is all. Why don’t you head home? I could walk you.”

“Are you sure you’re—”

“Yes. Do you want me to walk you home? Have you got a jacket?”

I drop it. “Actually, I have.”

As we walk home the heatless sun catches her green eyes, and even though we don’t talk the silence isn’t uncomfortable. I almost welcome it. When we get to my house, which now seems embarrassingly big, I offer her my jacket. She’s come out without one again, and I can see the goosebumps up her arms.

“It’s not far. Thank you, though, Potter.”

This time I don’t push, and I watch as she walks away again. She turns back and I pretend to be fiddling with the key, but I meet her eye and know she doesn’t buy it. I don’t care though, because she turned back.

Chapter Text

When I show up to Remus’ house on Thursday to carve pumpkins, he’s invited a lot more people than Sirius, Pete, and me. Thank God I went home and showered after rugby practice, because Lily opens the door looking as radiant as ever. Her hair is up in a ponytail, probably to keep it away from the pumpkins. 

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” I say, hoping she can tell I’m pleasantly surprised. Had I known I’d have dressed up a bit more, though, and feel a little silly in my slightly-too-small Spiderman t-shirt. 

Mary and Marlene are here too, sitting on the sofa together, so close they’re practically on top of one another. Marlene waves, grinning, and I’m almost offended she didn’t tell me she’d be here, bearing in mind we just had rugby practice together.

“God, Moony, are you throwing a party?” I ask, finding him in the kitchen. 

Mary calls, “Still don’t get why you call him that, and you didn’t greet us.” I roll my eyes, heading back into the sitting room to wave at Mary and Marlene—and now Lily, since she’s sitting with them too—before returning to the kitchen.

“We’re just waiting on Pete, then we can do the pumpkins,” Remus tells me. “Tea?”

“No, it’s OK. I had an energy drink before practice. Should I offer the others—”

Sirius shakes his head. “I’m the one making the tea, you bastard. No need to create extra work for me.” He puts the kettle on regardless; I guess Remus wants one. 

“Have you heard from him?” Remus asks.

“Who?”

“Peter, you idiot.”

“No. He’s probably out with Sybill.”

“Oo, Sybill,” Sirius mocks, tipping the boiling water into a mug. The steam curls into the air around him, and the smell of earl grey fills the room. 

“Don’t forget, four sugars,” Remus adds.

“I know, I know.” Sirius hands him the steaming mug, then turns to me. “Dating over a year and he thinks I don’t know how he takes his tea.” Back to Remus. “I still think it’s grim, by the way. Four sugars.”

Remus, who has heard this a thousand times before from anyone who’s had to make him a cuppa ever, ignores him and fans the air above the mug. “Honestly, what's he doing?” he asks before taking a sip.

“Peter?”

“Obviously Peter.”

Sirius coughs to poorly disguise the word Sybill, just as the doorbell rings. 

“Think that’ll be him. Unless you invited a bunch of other people?”

“No,” Remus says, passing his mug to Sirius and heading to the door. “James, tell the others to come to the kitchen.”

I go back to the sitting room, where all three of them are sitting on the sofa together. Mary has Lily’s head in her lap, a curtain of red covering joggers. Actually, I think they’re Marlene’s joggers. They’re talking about something but Marlene nudges Mary who quickly shuts her mouth.

“Hey, James,” she says slyly.

“Hey, Mary,” I reply, far less confidence in my tone—to the point it sounds more like a question. “Remus says to come through to the kitchen. We think Peter’s finally arrived.”

Mary stands up, pushing Lily up as well, and then gives a hand to Marlene. She quickly ties her hair into half-up-half-down, but the small hair tie doesn’t do much to keep her coils away from her face. “If anyone gets pumpkin seeds in my hair, I swear to God I’ll kill them.”

“You ruined my plan,” Marlene grumbles, kissing her cheek and going into the kitchen. Mary follows her, the threats continuing. Lily rolls her eyes and I smile at her. 

In the kitchen, Remus has set up a pumpkin for each of us, and the necessary equipment. “Right, what’s everybody making?”

“What, you wanna know what you’re gonna lose to?” Sirius says, already beginning to cut his pumpkin.

Peter frowns. “I thought you said it wasn’t a competition!”

“Everything’s a competition,” Sirius replies, nudging him. “If you must know, Moony, I’m doing a dog. Like a big, scary dog. Think, like, the one my family used to have. Loved that little guy. So, now that you all know what you’re up against, feel free to give up now—”

“I’m doing stars,” Mary throws in casually. “And it’s going to be beautiful.”

“Well I was just planning on doing a face, since nobody cared to tell me it was a competition,” Peter says, sending an accusatory look in Remus’ direction. 

“It’s not a competition, Pete,” I reassure him. “Sirius is just a twat. If you care to know, I’m doing a face too. MineCraft creeper.” Sirius doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s laughing at me, but I don’t bother to use my only defense: what? I like MineCraft.

Remus sighs, then agrees with me, “James is right, it’s not a competition. It’s a bit of fun. And yes, Sirius is a twat.” He kisses his boyfriend on the cheek. “Do you guys think I’m capable of the classic vomiting pumpkin?”

“Fuck off, that’s what I was gonna do!” Marlene exclaims.

“Oh, now it’s a competition.” Remus grins. Marlene gives him the middle finger. “What are you doing, Lily?”

“Oh, just a cat. I like cats.”

“And I like MineCraft,” I say, more directed at Sirius. “We’re all just carving the things we like.”

I spend most of the pumpkin carving time watching Lily. She’s methodic, even setting the seeds aside, apparently for roasting later. Peter tries to do the same, but can’t stand handling the pumpkin’s innards for longer than he has to. Lily barely speaks as she works, giggling occasionally when Marlene nudges into her—intentionally or not—and when she’s really focused she chews on her bottom lip.

She looks up and meets my eye. Heat rushes to my cheeks, but she just smiles. “Alright, Potter?”

“Taking inspiration” I say, turning back to my pumpkin. Yikes. In theory what I’m carving is simple, just a bunch of cubes, but it’s a lot more difficult than I’d anticipated. I end up cutting my finger, and Lily’s the only one with clean enough hands to get me a plaster.

“You’ll be fine,” she says, wrapping my finger. As her hands touch mine I think I feel electricity shoot all the way to my shoulder. “It’s all superficial.” 

“Do you need someone to kiss it better, Jamie?” Sirius asks, sticking his bottom lip out. “Poor thing cut his finger. Come here, I’ll kiss it better.” Hands still covered in pumpkin, he reaches out to me, lips puckered. 

“Well we know who doesn’t need a costume to be scary on Halloween,” I say, turning back to my pumpkin and trying to make some more progress.

Once I’ve finally got my focus on, there’s a high pitched squeal followed by an outburst of giggles. “Oh you little—” And Lily’s chasing Mary and Marlene around the kitchen, grabbing some of the pumpkin-inside off the kitchen counter and tossing it at Marlene. Ever the rugby player, she catches it and claps it onto her girlfriend’s arm instead. Now Mary’s screaming, and Sirius is grinning at me like he’s just had an excellent idea. 

“If you even try to come near me I’ll put you in a headlock,” I promise, and backs away, his face a picture of what I’m not sure is exaggerated disappointment. 

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

“Peter, you little rat!” Sirius exclaims, staring at the mess of pumpkin splattered on the house’s staircase.

“Think I won the contest,” Marlene says, her voice low. “But is anyone surprised?”

Peter places his pumpkin down gently and stands in front of it. “Accident! Accident! It’s not my fault you put your pumpkin—”

“Sirius Jr.”

“Whatever! Not my fault you put it in the most ridiculous place ever. Why would you put your pumpkin right in front of the exit we were all following you out of?!”

“Well you didn’t have to kick him down the stairs! You just killed my son, Pettigrew! You know what, I want your firstborn.”

“OK, Rumpelstiltskin,” Lily says.

Sirius turns to her. “If I’m Rumpelstiltskin, you’re…” He taps his foot on the ground. 

“Oh don’t tell me you can’t think of a fairytale character.”

“You’re a massive nerd!”

“It’s fairytales, not Shakespeare!”

“I was disowned!”

Lily’s eyebrows shoot up. Remus sighs. “Babe, you can’t just use that to win an argument. It’s not even relevant to this one.”

“Can we go back to talking about the fact my son just died a gruesome death?” Sirius says with a huff. He turns on Peter. “You better watch your pumpkin, with its stupid little face.” He jolts toward him, not actually moving, and Peter flinches.

“It’s alright, Pete, I’ll protect you,” I say. “And for what it’s worth, I think your pumpkin has a nice face. Just a little silly.” I drop my voice to an exaggerated whisper and add, “Sirius is upset your pumpkin looked better than his. Couldn’t even tell it was meant to be a dog.”

“You prick! I’ll come for your pumpkin too!” 

I grin at him, and I don’t need to flex my muscles to prove a point—I do so anyway. Behind us, there’s some shuffling and a low stop it. The four of us turn to see Mary, Marlene, and Lily, standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking so innocent it’s clear they were doing something.

Remus clears his throat. “Alright, Lils?”

“Peachy.” she replies, though her face is suitably red. Remus, unconvinced, raises an eyebrow. Lily widens her eyes, Remus narrows his. Whatever language they’re communicating in is one I don’t understand, but they seem to get their points across.

Mary sighs. “My dad just texted me. Gotta go home. Remus can I keep my pumpkin or did you want it for out here?” She holds it up triumphantly, and it does look pretty good.

“It’s all yours.”

“Oh, thank God. I didn’t want to have to drop it down the stairs like Sirius Jr.” Sirius gasps, clamping a hand over his heart. “Right, who wants to walk me home?” Marlene takes her arm without hesitation. 

“You can keep mine, Remus,” Marlene says. “My house has enough pumpkins.” She grimaces. “Siblings. They take all the fun.”

“Tell me about it,” Lily says, and Marlene leans over and kisses her on the cheek.

“OK, I really have to head. It’s already past my usual curfew—” Mary continues, steering her girlfriend away.

“You have a curfew?” Sirius asks, mouth open in disbelief.

“Technically, yes. Sometimes I just don’t abide by it. Come on, Marls.” As they walk down the pavement, Mary now cradling her pumpkin, she calls back, “This was fun by the way, Remus! Thank you!” 

“I should get home too,” Lily says. “It’s a school night.”

Remus agrees. “Are you three leaving anytime soon?” Sirius shrugs, but I shake my head at him.

“Mum wanted to watch a movie tonight, remember?”

“But we’ve seen Hocus Pocus.”

“You have no care for tradition.”

“Go home, you loser,” Remus agrees. “Pete?”

“My mum’ll want me back too. She made spag bol tonight, so if I want leftovers I need to get in quick.” He picks up his pumpkin with great care. “Thanks, Remus, this was fun. See you tomorrow!” He waves at us all, and I call out a little bye Pete that I’m not sure he hears. 

Remus moves away from Sirius briefly to hug Lily goodbye, and I wave at her while she goes. 

“You’re such a loser, loverboy,” Sirius sighs when she’s out of earshot. “Let’s get you home.”

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

We make the walk home longer than it needs to be, stalling in the streets and letting the sting of the cold cling to our jackets. It’s been getting dark for a while now, it being October, but the sky is still in the strange place between day and night. Sirius steps on leaves and judges Halloween decorations, even without my input.

Eventually he sighs and turns to me, though. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking of Evans again.”

“What?”

“Oh come on, we all saw you watching her when she was carving that pumpkin. You looked like you’d seen Heaven every time she picked up that knife. Don’t get me started on when she put that plaster on your finger. You looked like a fool.”

“I did not look like a fool. I was taking inspiration.”

“You were carving a creeper, she was carving a cat. The only thing they have in common are the letter C.”

“Her technique was admirable.”

“You’re so far gone I don’t think I can save you. She’ll ruin you, James. No chance she likes you back.”

“Oh, Sirius, I couldn’t ask for a better hypeman,” I reply, not bothering to mask the sarcasm in my voice. “What’s to say I don’t have a chance?”

Sirius stops walking, folding his arms. “You’re really gonna fight me on this, James? I hate to break it to you, but we were little shits before year nine. Did you forget the years of our lives spent bullying her best friend?”

“Snape isn’t her best friend. Remus is.”

“James.”

“She told me he’d get over himself—”

“Not if she dated you! You know what he’s like. We bullied him for a reason.”

“He wasn’t innocent! He keeps it up. He still hates us. We tried to apologise. I tried to apologise as well, separately, and he called me a stuck up twat.”

Sirius snorts. “‘Cause he’s poor.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re as bad as he is, you know.”

“What! You’re being over the top now. Don’t fight me for her. She wouldn’t do the same—”

“You don’t know that.”

“James.”

We walk the rest of the way in silence, because Sirius is a master of the silent treatment. If he doesn’t want to talk, he simply won’t. I’ve learnt this over the years. Maybe another evening I’d push. Maybe if it weren’t so cold, and I wasn’t holding my pumpkin with stiff, frozen fingers, and the wind wasn’t blowing in my face so hard tears welled in my eyes. But it is cold, and I am holding my pumpkin, and my eyes are watering, so I stay quiet too.

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

Peter’s drawings do look far better than mine, and as I’m admiring them I realise almost an entire week has passed since I decorated the place. Sirius comes up behind me, passing me a steaming cup of coffee. The shop doesn’t have any customers at the moment, and we like to enjoy the perks of working here.

Sirius and I can never stay angry at one another for long. Angry isn’t even the right word. He whistles as he washes out his mug, and when I catch onto the fact that Spooky Scary Skeletons is his chosen song it takes a lot of effort to hit him.

The door chimes, the first of the after school rush hitting, no doubt. Lily and, to my disappointment, Snape, are deep in conversation when they enter. They do not stop by the counter before heading to a booth—and I am quick to notice it is not the booth Lily usually takes. Like last time I saw the two of them, they don’t look happy.

“Do you wanna take their order or should I,” Sirius asks, gesturing at the two of them. 

“I think I’ll give them a moment,” I say instead. 

It’s Snape who comes up to the counter, practically grimacing as he orders, “Just a coffee.”

“Mate, this is a coffee shop. We have numerous types of coffee.”

“One, I am not your mate. Two, I just want a regular black coffee. You’re the barista, do what you see fit.” He stands there impatiently until I sigh and nod.

“Is that all?” I ask, fully prepared to add a butter croissant to the tab.

“Yes,” he says, with no interest in his voice whatsoever.

“Perfect. Your total’s on the screen. Cash or card?”

“Card.” He taps his card and we watch as the machine loads, eventually showing off a big green tick and the word authorised. 

“Lily’s not getting anything?”

Snape sneers. “I thought you were aware of her financial situation, Potter.” He says my last name like it’s a poison he wants out of his mouth; I don’t know why he bothers to add it if it’s such a hardship to him.

“You can go to your table. I’ll bring your coffee when it’s ready.”

By the time I’m taking the coffee to their table, Lily’s head is in her hands. “Black coffee,” I say before Snape can open his mouth again, placing the mug down in front of him. “As I saw fit.”

“What, have you spit in it?” Snape asks, peering at the drink like it could be a biohazard.

“Spat in it,” Lily corrects, words mumbled into her hands as she doesn’t look up. “Have you spat in it?”

“I’ve finished school today, Lily. If you’re going to be like that you can go.”

Utterly defeated she breathes out a quiet, “No. It’s alright, I’m sorry.”

Snape looks me up and down. “You’re still here. Aren’t you meant to be working?”

“Anything else for the table?” I ask through gritted teeth. God it’s easy to remember why we bullied this guy. 

“No, thank you,” Lily says, making eye contact with me now, giving me a polite smile.

“No jacket,” I comment.

“I’m wearing long sleeves.”

“It’s cold outside.”

“I—”

Snape clears his throat. “Are you done?”

I give Lily the most encouraging eyes I can, even though I’ve no idea what they’re talking about, and head off before Snape’s expression can get any more sour. 

“Went well?” Sirius asks, and I shake my head. “Well, it’s Snape, so I’m not surprised.”

“Bet he won’t leave a tip, either.”

“No. Doesn’t strike me as the tipping kind.” 

࿔*:༄˖°.🍂

I manage to intercept Lily on her way home—not intentionally!—as she’s leaving the local library. She has a couple of books under her arm, and I’m sure it’s because they don’t fit in her already overflowing bag. Her face is red, which I first put down to the cold, before I realise it’s blotchy as well, mostly around her eyes and cheeks. 

I’d just dropped Sirius off for his dinner date with Remus that evening, at the Jack&Alice across the street, when I saw her. Unsure whether to say anything or not, I cross the street and wave. At first she frowns, but when she recognises me her eyebrows raise and she smiles a little despite herself.

“Are you stalking me, Potter?” she teases, but her voice catches in her throat. For a moment the smiling girl mask disappears, but she swallows and puts it back up again just as quickly.

“I feel like it’s the other way ‘round at this point. You come to my coffee shop, you show up at my friend’s house, and now you see me in the street?”

“First of all, Remus is my friend as much as he is yours. Second of all, you saw me.”

“Are you implying you can’t see me right now?”

“You saw me first.”

I always have. That’s not what I say, but it’s what I think, so in replacement I stupidly blurt out, “Maybe I did.” 

“See? Stalker.”

“I’m not—”

“So, creep, what’s next? You follow me home?”

“Is that your way of asking me to walk you? Because if it is—”

Her face goes redder, and this time I’m certain it’s not from the cold. “No, that’s not—”

“Do you want me to walk you home, Lily?” She doesn’t reply. For the first time, she seems to be lost for words (or she’s choosing to ignore me, but I don’t give that scenario attention). Her eyes stay trained on the ground, lips pressed together. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but I think she’s fighting a smile.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes and change the subject. Are you going to Barty and Evan’s party tonight?”

“No, I’m baking,” she replies, looking up again. We’re walking in time now, occasionally stepping on a leaf loud enough to make a sound. “I’ll probably go to the one next Wednesday, for the start of half term. Why? Are you going?”

“Well I was gonna see what Pete’s doing, because Remus and Sirius won’t be going—”

“You don’t want to go to the party on your own?”

“I could, I just have better things to do—”

“I wouldn’t go to a party on my own either, Potter. It’s OK.”

“I’ll ask Peter.”

She sighs. “Don’t bother. I know he’s at Sybill’s tonight. Mary told me. But her and Marls are totally going, so you don’t need to worry about being on your own.”

“Nah, I’ll stay home,” I say with a shrug. There’s a long silence and I eventually have to interrupt: “Lily, please let me help you carry something. Your stuff is basically falling out of your bag and you’ve got those books—and before you say it I know you can carry your own things but it’s painful to watch. No offense.”

“None taken.” She passes me some of the books from her bag, but I take the two she’s carrying separately as well. 

“Now I have to walk you home.”

“I’m not sure—”

“It’s basically on the way.”

One of her now-free hands grabs my arm. Despite the temperature her touch is warm, sending heat all the way up to my shoulder. It startles me, but I manage not to drop anything. Stopped in the middle of the street, I turn to her.

“If Sev sees you walking me home it’ll make life harder for both of us. I’m just not sure—”

“Lily, all due respect,—for you, not him—I am not worried about Snape making my life hard. He does that by himself. And if he’s making your life difficult for having other friends then maybe—”

“Don’t say it.”

“Maybe he’s not a great friend himself.”

Her shoulders sag, and I know I’ve said something she needed to hear but definitely didn’t want to. Something I don’t think she could even think to herself. 

“He is. He’s my friend.”

“Then he shouldn’t mind if I walk you back. Plus, I’ve got your stuff now, and it’d be a faf to try and give it back to you here. Don’t sweat it.” I keep walking before she can reply, and I hear her walk faster to catch up again.

“Look—”

“Don’t bother. I’ve got your books. Nothing you can do.”

She sighs, for once admitting defeat, and doesn’t offer up much other conversation. When we get to her house there’s nobody outside, and no car in her driveway. There is a pile of leaves on Snape’s lawn, however, and I’m immaturely tempted to kick them. I don’t.

“Your parents are still at work?”

“They work late.”

“Will your sister be home yet?”

“Who knows.” She pauses, then quietly adds, “I hope not.”

I keep a hold of her books as she retrieves her keys from her seemingly endless bag, and only give them to her when she’s propped the door open against her back. “Well, thank you for walking me. I hope you’re not getting home too late.”

The sun’s already set but it’s nowhere close to dark, so I shake my head. “My pleasure. As always.” I turn to go, headed up the pavement. I look back and wave, surprised to see she’s still standing in the doorway. 

When I turn back to the front, none other than Severus Snape stands in front of me. He’s shorter than me, so in no way intimidating, but he seems to have appeared out of thin air. Despite the proximity, it’s Lily he addresses, not me.

“Really?”

A simple question, but I’ve no idea what he means by that. She seems to, though, and as I look back at her her smile drops.

“I was walking home from the library. He offered to help me carry things.”

“Since when do you accept help from James Potter?”

“Since you stopped offering,” she says, a slight shake in her voice. To my surprise, she continues. “When he started being a better friend than you.”

My heart pounds in my chest. Friend. Friend is not nothing. For the first time in my life Lily is looking at me, not Snape, and I’m certain that she sees me. I think she’s actually seeing me.

Snape’s mouth drops open.

“How could you say that?! He bullied me—”

“I can’t keep having this conversation!” Lily has, at some point, put her things down in front of the door, keeping it open, and is headed toward us, cutting across her front garden. “Maybe if you opened your eyes and saw something beside yourself you’d know he’s changed! They’ve all changed. Fuck, we’ve all changed! Except you. That’s the problem, Sev.” Her voice is much more gentle now. “You refuse to change. And I can’t keep doing this.”

“What—What—”

“Bruce Mulciber. He bullied me. And come on, we both know he still gives me a hard time. You’re friends with him, aren’t you?”

“That’s different.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he practically spits. 

I don’t know what to stay or do, stuck in the middle of their argument, so I hold back and keep myself from doing anything—despite the fact that Snape is the perfect distance to throw a punch.

“Why is it so hard for you to accept that you’re not my only friend anymore? Why is that such a problem to you?”

“I don’t…I want what’s best for you, and—and…I don’t trust them.”

“That’s not good enough,” Lily replies. She says it so softly but she may as well have hit him. Snape all but stumbles backward, frowning now. “I want you to be my friend, Sev, but I don’t want you to be my only friend.”

“We’ve been friends since we were little. I was the only person who liked you!”

“We were the only people who liked each other. And I’m so glad I had you…” her voice is really shaking now, but she swallows hard and continues. “And I’m so grateful you were my friend. But I can’t do this anymore.”

“You keep saying that. What can’t you do? What’s this?”

She gestures between the two of them. “This. All of it. I’m so tired of it.”

“Lily, I love you.”

“I loved you too. But I’m done. I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s not…it’s not worth it.”

Snape’s face turns sour, locked in a sneer, and he looks down at her, as if she is nothing. Without another word he turns on me. “Fuck you,” he says, and I really want to punch him now, but instead I let him walk away. Back up his front steps. Let him slam the door.

Lily’s looking at the sky, tears welling in her eyes that I pretend not to notice. 

“I’m sorry. That sucked, I’m really, really sorry.” No reply. “I—I can punch him, if you want. One swing and he’d be down. Or—or…I can go. I don’t know if…I mean, when do your parents get back? I could call Remus, if you want? Or—Mary and Marlene! The party won’t have started yet, I can get them. I just—”

She cuts me off, eyes latched onto mine. Her voice is barely a whisper when she says, “Please don’t go, James.”