Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Christen tries to remind herself that it wasn’t always like this. Their relationship didn’t always consist of apparent absences and cold sheets. She tries to convince herself that the slowly but surely expanding hole in her stomach was once filled with something, something solid and special, something that couldn’t have been stolen away this easily.

This has been going on for far too long, Christen realizes. Nights spent building up arguments in her head, lying to herself in order to justify Tobin’s actions that have lead her to this emotional turmoil. She knows that what they had is ruined, she knows it, she’s acknowledged it, but she just can’t accept it. The only thought she can process is that Tobin isn’t here, and it’s her own arms wrapped around her body instead of the familiar, tan ones she’s used to.

It’s her own flowery perfume that she smells on the pillowcases, not Tobin’s vanilla one.

And, worst of all, for the first time in months, it’s her own hands that brush away the tears that escape her eyes.

Not Tobin’s.

---

Christen Press doesn’t get things because she wants them.

She gets them because, when there’s something on her mind that she has interest in, she works her ass off for it. It’s something that she’s always done. Whether it be her tending to people’s lawns and pets for two whole summers in order to make money for a soccer net in the backyard, or her covering her sister’s chores for three months straight in order to get a trip to the beach. She gets what she wants in the end, no matter how much effort.

So, that’s how she gets where she is, boarding a plane for her flight to Florida. The things she strives for have lost their childish element, and now, after months of saving up money, she’s finally leaving her hometown and going out on her own.

Well, sort of.

She’ll be living in a new place, yes. The change in scenery is going to be quite drastic, Christen thinks. Instead of being surrounded by beautiful, sunny California, she’ll be living in the sticky humidity of southern Florida. But, she’s not going to be alone.

Alex Morgan, one of her closest friends, has offered her a room in her cramped but homey apartment, along with another girl whose name Christen isn’t aware of. The idea may not come off as that appealing, but Christen knows that living with a friend will be good for her. Plus, she gets her own room and the rent cost is split three ways. She doesn’t see anything to complain about.

As she climbs onto the plane and plugs in her headphones, the last thing that crosses her mind before she falls asleep is all of the potential she sees in this grand idea of hers. She drifts off with a brief smile, turning up the volume and relaxing her body.

---

The minute Christen steps through the door of the rainy airport, she spots Alex.

“Alex!” the darker haired girl squeals, nearly knocking her over in her attempt at a hug.

She’s just like she remembers: long chestnut hair, toned muscle, golden skin tone, and to top it all off, the same pearly white smile that Christen could pick out in any crowd. It hits her quickly how much she missed her.

“Hey, how was the plane ride?” Alex asks, wrapping her arms around Christen tightly and then stepping back to look her in the face. “You didn’t get kicked off for being too obnoxious or anything?”

Christen rolls her eyes. “It was fine,” she replies, setting her bag down and pulling out the handle. “Where’s your car?”

Alex leads them to her car. As they walk, Christen drinks in her surroundings: the tall palm trees, the busy streets, the busy everything. Not to say that California in itself wasn’t busy, but the part she lived in was somewhat sheltered from the rest.

She can’t help but feel a bit grown up, too. Before this, the closest thing she got to going anywhere by herself was a weekend away with her sister, and obviously she hadn’t been alone for much of it. It seems a bit unreal, having packed up and left her home for a place on the opposite side of the country, but it excites her all the same.

They get in the car and Alex turns the volume up, blasting whatever is on the radio. She laughs lightly as Alex pumps her arms in the air to the beat of the song for a moment before attaching them to the steering wheel and backing out of the parking space.

When they’re on the main road, she begins to hit Christen with the questions (when did you decide to leave, how did your family take it, how is your family, etc.). She gives simple answers, asking similar questions in return. She’s only half-listening, eyes focused on the blur of colors outside of her window, until Alex asks a question that catches her attention.

“So, I assume you’re finished with that boy you had been telling me about a few weeks ago?”

“Oh,” Christen deadpans, trying to remember who she could have been talking about.

Alex seems to misinterpret this response. “Shit, sorry, Chris,” she says with a frown. “I didn’t realize it ended badly.”

“No, no,” Christen assures her, “it’s not that. Yeah, we’re over, but it was more of a mutual thing. It ended a while ago.”

The light-haired girl nods with relief, focusing her eyes on the road ahead of them. After a few more minutes of driving with the blaring music, she pulls into the parking garage of the apartment. Christen retrieves her bag from the trunk and wheels it behind her as she follows Alex inside.

It’s an average apartment, as Christen expected. They enter a plain door into the living room, brown paint from top to bottom and a stone fireplace on the wall opposite the entry way. It’s tight, but everything looks fairly new and she can tell Alex put a lot of work into cleaning the place up for her arrival. She appreciates that.

“It’s cute,” Christen tells her, earning a smile from Alex.

Though there’s not much more to see, Alex gives her a mini tour of the remaining rooms in the apartment. Christen is impressed with the eagerness in Alex’s demeanor. She thinks it’s adorable that her best friend has made her feel welcome in a completely new area of her life, just with simple gestures like these.

Her bedroom is a good size, only a bit smaller than the one in California. She places her bag down on the bed and falls backwards onto the sheets that smell of fresh detergent.

Alex has to run out to the store to get a few things, so Christen has time to get settled in and unpack. She opens the bag and pulls out the framed picture of her and her dog back home.

With a smile, she places it on her night table, and though she feels a twinge of sadness, she knows that coming here is going to have a positive effect on her life.

---

Christen and Alex go out for ice cream that night. They catch each other up on everything new in their lives, and it really begins to feel like old times for Christen. It makes her feel warm inside.

“You know they have a local soccer team around here,” Alex tells her, licking the side of her cone to prevent the ice cream from dripping onto her lap. “My roommate and I are both on it. You should join. I’m sure you still have those skills from back in high school, Press.”

She chuckles lightly at being addressed by her last name. “Yeah, maybe,” she agrees.

The idea doesn’t sound half-bad, really. She doesn’t have a job yet, which is gonna leave her with a lot of free time for a while. And, though she’s not going to admit it to Alex, she still practices soccer a lot on the side. She just hasn’t played with anyone in a while, which would be fun if she joined the team.

They finish up their ice creams and watch the sunset from behind the restaurant. When the colors have all faded into a dark blue, they get in Sydney’s car and drive back to the apartment.

As soon as they walk inside, Christen nearly has a heart attack.

A girl is sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She has a bowl of popcorn balanced on one leg and the remote on the other, eyes fixed ahead on the television. Christen relaxes when she remembers that one, Alex has a roommate that she’s mentioned previously, and two, if someone had broken into the apartment, she doubts they would have popped a bag of popcorn and plopped down to watch an episode of whatever the hell is on the screen.

But, then again, Christen hasn’t been acquainted with any burglars, so she wouldn’t exactly know. It’s just a guess.

“Tobin,” Alex says to get the girl’s attention. She whips her head around, mouth stuffed with popcorn. Her eyes move away from Alex and quickly over to Christen, and realization surfaces within the two brown pools.

“Oh-!” Tobin breathes, half to herself as she rises from the couch. “Shit, yeah, I forgot that we were getting the new roommate tonight!”

Christen can’t help but smile at the way Tobin walks over, a goofy grin on her face. She extends her hand and Christen takes it without hesitation.

“I’m Tobin,” she introduces herself. She’s dressed in a loose shirt and athletic shorts, and Christen can’t help but notice how good she looks in such plain attire. Built like a soccer player, too, she thinks to herself as her eyes sweep over her athletic build.

She vaguely reminds Christen of someone she met a long time ago, but she pushes the thought away and introduces herself in turn.

“Christen,” she says, biting the inside of her cheek. For some reason, the idea of living here gets much more exciting with the knowledge of who she’ll be sharing the apartment with. She’s known Tobin for all of two minutes, but the bold and interesting personality seems to radiate off of the girl.

Tobin closes her lips and nods, winks at Christen. “You’ll enjoy living here. Alex is a great roommate,” she adds, shooting a smile towards the brown-haired girl’s direction.

“You only say that because I cook for you and clean up after you,” Alex replies, turning and walking down the hall into the bathroom. Christen catches onto the familiar sarcastic tone she uses, though, and laughs slightly.

“Well, yeah, but our mini soccer games in the parking lot also enhance the experience,” Tobin calls after her. The sound of a door closing is the only response they get to that, and Tobin shrugs.

“I’m not as bad as she makes me out to be,” Tobin says to her before disappearing into her room.

---

That night, Christen has trouble sleeping. She tosses and turns numerous times before finally deciding to plug in a pair of headphones and tapping her screen until she finds the relaxing soundtracks that she downloaded prior to getting on the plane.

They work to help relax her, but she still feels homesick deep down. It takes another hour of switching positions on the bed before she’s finally able to fall asleep, but it seems that the trend of restlessness continues into the following nights.

---

The adjustment to living in Florida hasn’t exactly been easy for Christen, but it also hasn’t been too big of a hassle. The time change doesn’t affect her as much as she thought it would. She wakes up later than the other two girls and takes longer to get started on her day, but it’s not the biggest deal. At least she’s managing.

Her and Alex spend a lot of time together when the dark-haired girl isn’t at work, and it’s nice. They still have a lot in common, and their overpowering love for shopping keeps them on their feet constantly. It’s only been a week since she arrived, but Christen is sure that she already knows most of the stores closest to them.

Best of all, due to her current unemployment, she’s been granted many opportunities to get a feel for her new living situation. She’s explored certain parts of the city, and though it’s foreign to her, she doesn’t mind it. There are many good places for her to be able to sit down, pull out a pad of paper, and just write.

She’s never felt so free, and it’s a feeling that makes her feel empowered.

The only thing that Christen isn’t sure about is Tobin. See, Christen is usually very good at figuring people out. Meaning, she can gather an idea of how they are personality-wise from the moment she meets them. It’s a skill that was useful for her, especially in school, when she had to think of different ways to behave towards her teachers so that it would benefit her grades.

But Tobin? Tobin is like the trickiest knot to untie. Given, Christen has only known her for a week, but within that week it’s been impossible to gauge her personality. She hopes that time will bring her to some sort of an explanation, because Tobin interests Christen, and she doesn’t understand why.

It’s a tuesday afternoon, and Christen is waiting patiently on the couch for Alex to arrive home from work. Her shift ends at three o’clock on weekdays, and she had promised they’d go to the mall together.

It was an unproductive morning for Christen, and she’s itching to get out of the house. She spent the past few hours scrolling through old messages on her phone, puzzled and also a little bit disappointed about the fact that nobody from back home has called her to see how she’s doing. It sounds whiny, she knows, but if one of them had left, she would’ve called the second their flight landed.

After a few minutes more of her prior activity, she decides to call her mom.

It rings a few times before a familiar voice picks up. “Hello?”

“Mom?” she replies, trying to keep her voice casual. She doesn’t want her mother to hear the disappointment in her tone.

“Christen!” her mom says, sounding a little bit surprised but excited all the same. It calms the anxious feeling in Christen’s stomach. “Honey, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to call. I got caught up in something with your sister, and I just forgot. But how are you?”

“I’m good,” Christen sighs with relief. “I’m really good, actually. It’s nice down here.”

“That’s good, sweetie. We miss you!”

“I miss you too,” she says, smiling to herself. Just as she’s opening her mouth to say something else, she hears the door creak open. Alex must be home, she thinks.

“Hey, sorry, I have to go. Can I call you back tonight?” she asks into the phone.

“Of course. I love you,” her mother replies, and she can picture her like she’s back home. Her mom, sitting in the living room, flipping through a magazine with the phone tucked between her shoulder and her ear. It makes her feel homesick.

The sensation sweeps through her stomach like a wildfire in a forest. She swallows thickly. “I love you, too.”

When she hangs up, she nearly has a heart attack for the second time since she’s moved in (and, to prove her point, she’s only ever had two near heart attacks in her life).

“Hello,” a soft and slightly familiar voice says.

Christen has to crane her neck to confirm who the source of the voice is. Just as expected, Tobin stands inches away from her, a smile plastered across her tan cheeks.

“Oh, hey,” Christen replies, a slight blush covering her face. Had Tobin been listening to her entire phone conversation?

“Not very enthusiastic.” Tobin plops down next to her on the couch. As though she can read Christen’s mind, she quickly adds, “I wasn’t listening to your call, by the way. I walked in here right at the end of it.”

Christen nods, unsure of what to say. Her stomach still feels strange from the sudden bout of homesickness, and she can’t help but feel alone. Maybe she had made a mistake.

“Hey,” Tobin says softly, putting a warm hand on her arm. “You okay?”

The lighter-haired girl meets Tobin’s gaze, feeling something lift within her stomach and immediately knowing it is no longer her being homesick. Her eyes search Tobin’s face for a moment before she remembers that the girl has asked her a question.

“I’ll be fine,” she answers shortly, her eyes falling down to where Tobin’s hand rests gently against her skin. The touch makes her feel warm inside, possibly even a little bit less lonely.

Tobin doesn’t seem too convinced, but she doesn’t press the matter any further. Instead, she looks up at the clock, a puzzled expression on her face. “Where’s Alex?” she asks, as though Christen would know any better than she does.

“I don’t know,” Christen replies, her eyes darting to the clock, too. “She was supposed to be back by now. We were gonna go to the mall.”

Christen can’t help but feel a little disappointed. She could really use the mall as a good distraction from all of her doubts right now, along with Alex’s sense of humor. Cheering her up is something Alex has always been good at.

Tobin seems to sense her disappointment. “Oh,” she says thoughtfully, tilting her head. “Do you want me to go with you?”

This surprises Christen. She hasn’t ever pegged Tobin as a big shopper, and she doesn’t wanna take away the day from her if she already has other plans. It would make the trip to the mall feel like charity, and Christen doesn’t like being pitied.

But, at the same time, maybe a trip to the mall would give Christen more insight on who Tobin is as a person. And that possibility makes Christen excited.

“That would be fun,” she agrees, smiling. “If you don’t have other plans, that is.”

Tobin laughs, exposing her bright teeth. “Nah, I don’t.”

---

“One thing I don’t understand,” Tobin says as they walk through American Eagle, “is how people take so long in these stores.”

Christen sifts through a rack of shirts, examining each of them slowly. She smiles at Tobin’s comment, even though she’s guilty of spending far too much time in just one store. She finds it funny that Tobin is making it clear how much she doesn’t enjoy shopping, yet she’s the one who volunteered to bring her here.

“Some people just really like to shop,” Christen defends playfully, pulling out two similar shirts. She holds them both up to her body and turns to Tobin. “Which one do you like?”

Tobin squints, attempting to find a difference between them. “They look the same.”

“No,” Christen protests, pointing at one of them. “This one has thinner green stripes and a lower neck on it. The other one has thicker stripes and the neck is a lot higher.”

Even though it’s coming out of her own mouth, Christen can’t help but chuckle at how ridiculous it sounds. Tobin rolls her eyes jokingly.

“You’ll look good in whatever you buy, so it doesn’t really matter,” Tobin says, and Christen feels her cheeks darken at the compliment.

She tries not to read further into it, but she can’t help the way her heart skips lightly as she walks back to the fitting rooms. Christen already knows both of the shirts fit, seeing as she shops at this store regularly, but she doesn’t want Tobin to see how red she turned at the compliment she was given. It’s embarrassing, really, and she has no explanation for it.

She buys both shirts, and Tobin makes fun of her at the register for it, but she doesn’t care because Tobin’s laughing and her laugh is cute. (Like, really cute. Everyone should see it, because it could turn the worst of days around).

They spend a few more hours at the mall, and Christen teaches Tobin her ways of shopping. Of course, it doesn’t go very well, but she manages to help the girl pick out a cute shirt. They eat sandwiches in the food court, and overall, Christen has a really good time.

She finds a few things out about Tobin, too. She had already known that Tobin plays on the same soccer team as Alex, but she also learns that Tobin has been playing for a long time. She grew up in New Jersey, with her three siblings, and she likes to write, the same as Christen.

After the time she’s spent with the girl, Christen constructs a mental guide on how to read Tobin, because really, talking to Tobin is like standing at one end of a maze and being able to see the bright, intelligent colors seeping past the obstacles, only reachable when you figure out the right path. She knows that figuring Tobin out is just another skill she has to practice before she can master it.

And for another unexplainable reason, she really wants to master it.

When they get home, the apartment appears to be empty. Christen looks around as she walks inside, Tobin following close behind her. No sign of Alex.

“I wonder where she is?” Christen wonders aloud, worry seeping through. Alex is rarely ever home late, and when she is, she always lets them know ahead of time. She starts to feel guilty for not having called before they left for the mall.

Tobin places a comforting hand on her shoulder. It makes Christen relax back into her touch, effectively bringing her anxiety level down. “It’s okay,” she tells her. “I’m sure she’s fi-”

A loud noise from somewhere in the apartment cuts her off. Their heads both turn in that direction quickly, alarm sketched across their features.

“What was that?” Christen half-whispers, heart thumping in her chest. She watches as Tobin’s eyebrows knit together in a mixture of confusion and concentration. Tobin walks slowly out through the living room and starts towards the bedrooms.

Christen nearly chases after her, not wanting to be left alone. Yes, it’s probably nothing, but she isn’t going to take any chances and end up getting killed. (Way to exaggerate, Christen). The two girls go slowly down the hallway, approaching Christen’s room…

The next thing Christen hears is Tobin’s overly loud snort. At first she’s confused - the girl in front of her whirls around on her heel, eyes fixed on her palm. It takes Christen a minute to realize that Tobin has a small note in the center of her hand, with a very small message on it:

Do not disturb.

When Tobin breaks out into a quiet laughter, Christen is still extremely confused. But then, another noise comes from the room, and it’s much different from the one they heard before.

“Oh, God,” Christen mutters, her cheeks turning pink for the millionth time today. She’s not sure if she’s more embarrassed over the fact that she didn’t understand the meaning of the note,that she’s standing outside of her friend’s room while she’s having sex, or that Tobin is here with her.

She settles for all three reasons.

“Let’s get out of here,” Tobin whispers, still chuckling as she grabs Christen’s hand and pulls her out the door.

---

Driving at night is something Christen has always enjoyed. She’s not sure which part she likes best, because there are a lot of awesome things about it, but tonight she seems to really appreciate how the stars look as they fly down the road. All of the small lights blend together to make one long streak that seems to light up the sky.

The movement of the car combined with the utter darkness usually makes her tired, but not tonight. She’s fully alert as the car continues moving, and her mind is busy. Her thoughts race around in circles like fish in a fishbowl, too fast to catch but too slow to disappear. She stares out the window, trying to figure out what’s going on in her head.

Tobin breaks through her thoughts, nudging her arm. “Are you good?” she asks.

Christen takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Yeah, I think so,” she answers, not sounding so sure.

“You’re acting different,” Tobin comments, side-eyeing her. “Is it because of Alex?”

“I don’t know,” Christen says, massaging her temple slowly.

“Oh. Do you like her or something?”

“What?!” Chriisten nearly shoots through the windshield at this. She looks at Tobin. “No! No, no, that’s not it.”

And she means it. Liking Alex would be the equivalent to liking one of her siblings. But, surprisingly, the thing that stands out to her most about the question is the fact that Tobin thought she liked a girl. She feels her face flush as she turns to look out the window.

She thinks that it’s relief that flashes across Tobin’s face, but it’s dark and her mind is occupied, so she can’t be sure. “Okay,” she says.

Christen pauses for a moment, timing her next question so she doesn’t seem too eager, because really, it’s not a big deal, but she’s curious and slightly irritated that Alex hadn’t even mentioned a boyfriend. “So who was the guy?”

Tobin gives her a weird look. “You don’t know about Servando?” When Christen shrugs with annoyance, Tobin continues. “Oh. Well, they’ve been seeing each other for about a year or so.”

Christen watches the sky again, trying to think of a subject change, but she can’t find anything worth talking about. Her mind is too crowded to allow room for a normal conversation. She sighs, watching the car lights reflect off of road signs that they pass.

“Where are we going?” she questions, trying to figure out where they are. She doesn’t know the area well enough, so frankly, she has no clue.

“You’ll see,” Tobin says with a goofy grin.

---

“Oh, my god.”

It’s the only sentence Christen’s mind can formulate as she watches from where she’s standing, on the ground, as Tobin attempts to climb up the side of the fence. The girl’s body hangs down above the wire, one hand gripping the top of the fence, the other hand dangling in the air.

“I do this all the time,” Tobin assures her, grinning. “I’ve never been caught, and since this field is always filled up with practices during the day, I like to take advantage of the night.”

Christen watches silently as she continues climbing, approaching the top. She notices the way her leg muscles flex as she moves her body, trying not to stare but having trouble refraining. She has a nice body, she tells herself. It’s okay to look.

The night air is sticky from the prior rainfall, but it’s nice and warm. There’s a light breeze, but it’s overall a nice night. Her thoughts still seem to be somewhat soaring around her head, but she’s hoping that whatever Tobin has planned will help take her mind off of everything.

Tobin finally drops to the other side of the fence, landing softly on both feet. She hurries over to the gate, tugging on the lock a few times before it comes undone and swings open to welcome Christen inside.

While Christen had been picturing an overused, muddy field, this was turf. New, too. She felt excitement flood her stomach as she turned around in a circle, looking around at the beautiful field.

Tobin ran up behind her and poked her in the side, making her jump. Suddenly, she was much closer than she had ever been before. “You like it?” she asked, mouth close to her ear.

Christen nodded, ignoring the goosebumps that sprouted across her skin as Tobin’s hot breath hit her neck. She smelled like flowers, and it made Christen’s stomach tingle.

Before she knew what was happening, Tobin had grabbed her hand and was dragging her back towards a stone building that was attached to the soccer stadium. She allowed herself to be pulled along, unsure of where exactly they were going.

Tobin opened the unlocked the door to the building, stepping aside to allow Christen to enter first. The inside was composed of white bricks cemented tightly into the wall, concrete floors, and metal benches that lined up with the many rows of lockers. The locker room, she thought to herself, looking around.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Tobin says, admiring it with a slight grin. She walks ahead of Christen, sitting down on a bench and studying the girl in front of her. “Alex told me you like soccer.”

“I do,” Christen confirms, reaching out to run her hand against the cold metal of the lockers. She’s still unsure of why Tobin makes her feel so on edge, but she’s starting to piece together the clues to discover what she was beginning to dread.

“Cool,” Tobin says, trying to suppress the excitement in her tone. “This is the place that we practice in. The team around here is sort of a big deal, you know.”

Christen nods. She does know.

“Think you might want to join?” Tobin persists, her eyes burning into Christen’s with an intensity she didn’t realize they possessed.

She blinks, unsure of how to answer. Of course she wants to play, but for some reason, she feels that simply agreeing to be apart of the team isn’t the answer Tobin’s looking for, due to the heavy brown gaze the girl keeps on her. Reaching out a hand, she waits until Tobin hesitantly grabs it before pulling her out of the building.

“Where are the balls?” Christen asks, turning back to look at Tobin. The moon makes the field look mysterious, sending a chill of excitement up her spine.

Tobin leads her to the side of the building, opening the door and allowing several identical balls to roll across the ground. Christen gets her foot on one, dribbling it across the field and turning back towards Tobin, grinning at the way the brown haired girl examines her.

Unsure of what to do and feeling slightly shy now, Christen waves Tobin over, watching as the girl follows her instruction and approaches her. The wave of confidence that had washed over Christen was disappearing quickly, leaving her to bite her lip nervously under Tobin’s gaze, foot trapping the ball beneath her.

As though Tobin senses her hesitation, she backs up a bit, putting her hand up. “Pass,” she says, nodding her head towards the ball.

Thankful, Christen passes the ball, stepping a few feet to the side in order to give Tobin room. And as soon as she does-

Christen feels mesmerized as Tobin begins to maneuver the field with the ball at her feet, showing off a combination of her skills and speed. It looks effortless, the way she moves around, keeping the ball close to her whilst bringing it past imaginary defenders. Her ponytail sweeps from side to side with each movement.

She’s not paying full attention when Tobin passes her the ball, but her body quickly brings her back to the present in time to stop it, surprising herself even. She looks up and across the field, the adrenaline beginning to build low in her stomach as she sees Tobin’s eyes fixed on her once again.

Though it seems since forever that she’s practiced with another person, Christen feels confident enough to show off her own skills. Tobin’s eyes follow her around the field as she uses both feet, faking out imaginary players and quickly approaching the goal.

She’s practiced shooting on goal so many times, she isn’t the least bit surprised when the ball hits the top left corner seconds after her foot makes contact with it. Christen smiles, feeling somewhat proud of herself for having let go of the uptight mannerisms she had taken on while around Tobin.

Her self-congratulatory thoughts are interrupted by a pair of arms being thrown around her from behind, and it only adds to the excitement. She feels goosebumps cover her arms as Tobin wraps her arms around her, mouth close to her neck.

“That was really good,” Tobin breathes, and Christen prays that she can’t feel her heart racing against her tight grip around her body.

“Thanks,” Christen murmurs, blushing lightly. It wasn’t as great as Tobin is acting, and usually people exaggerating her skill level would get on her nerves, but with Tobin, she doesn’t mind. Especially if this is how she’s rewarded.

“Really good,” Tobin repeats, finally pulling away.

“I wanna play on the team,” Christen confirms, just incase the practice session they just had didn’t make her answer clear enough.

“Awesome,” Tobin replies, picking up a ball and juggling it a few times before catching it and redirecting her attention to Christen. “So, you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Christen says, smiling to herself and feeling a million times better exiting the field than she did entering it.

---

When they get home, the lights to the apartment are all on. Alex is sitting in the kitchen, clad in a bathrobe and slippers, eating a bowl of cereal and holding her phone.

Christen’s mind flashes back to the uncomfortable earlier event that had caused her and Tobin to leave the apartment, and she quickly nudges Tobin, silently warning her not to mention it. “Hey, Al,” Christen greets her.

“Oh, hey, Chris,” Alex replies, turning around to look at both girls. Her eyes narrow as they wander over the two. “Where’d you two go?”

“Just to the field,” Christen replies, adding a shrug to suppress any suspicion.

Alex nods curiously, spooning cereal into her mouth. Sensing Alex’s questioning that’s about to come, Christen opens her mouth to announce that she’s going to bed, but Tobin interrupts her, mouth moving almost as fast as her feet were on the field.

“Had to get out of the house so we didn’t overhear anything more,” Tobin adds, sending a playful wink Alex’s way before quickly removing herself from the conversation, turning down the hallway and into her room. Christen’s jaw drops in disbelief, her eyes meeting Alex’s and finding embarrassment etched across the blue depths.

“I didn’t know you guys were home!” Alex exclaims, her face turning a deep shade of red. Christen doesn’t know what to say, opting for keeping her mouth shut and furrowing her eyebrows apologetically.

“Sorry,” she offers after a few seconds, feeling bad for Alex. But, at the same time, she can’t help but find humor in the way Tobin ducked out of the situation so easily. She wishes she could do the same, though, as Alex shakes her head.

“No, I should have known you guys would be coming home,” she reasons, sighing. “Sorry for whatever you…. Heard,” she finishes, wincing in embarrassment at her own word choice.

“No problem,” Christen says with a sweet smile, hoping to change the subject so she’ll have an excuse to leave the room. “I’m pretty tired, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” Alex says in response, rising from the chair herself and starting towards her own room. “Sleep well, Christen.”

“You too,” Christen replies, pushing open the door of her room.

---

Christen gets the best night of sleep she’s had since she’s arrived, and she can’t help but think it has something to do with Tobin.

Chapter Text

Thursdays become their day.

Christen has always been one to break her bad habits. She hasn’t had very many of them over the course of her life, but occasionally she’ll develop a pesky one and has to go out of her way to prevent it from worsening. When she was younger, she used to have stupid habits, like forgetting to turn the bathroom fan on after a shower, or biting her nails too short. But, as she grew older, she realized how quickly a habit could be blown up into something much more significant.

It’s another skill she prides herself in, because it makes her feel somewhat in control of herself. If she’s able to stop it, she’s able to stop anything.

She hadn’t realized until recently that habits could be good things, too. They could be things that you grow used to, things that knot themselves up in the inner webs of your mind and take more than practice at flipping a switch to get rid of. Christen thinks that maybe these habits that make you feel good are meant to be developed, not meant to be broken.

And she knows that she’s developed one when Tobin leads her to her car, helping her over the fence the following Thursday. She knows she’s developed one when she watches Tobin soar around the field, hair blowing behind her, that familiar grin plastered across her cheeks. She knows it when Tobin talks confidence into her, the words forming an imaginary force that pushes Christen and the ball closer to the net, helping to guide her.

Christen was confused at first, but now she can see it crystal clear. The habit isn’t playing soccer on Thursday nights, or climbing over the fence, or even feeling the adrenaline rush from doing something she’s not supposed to be doing.

The habit is Tobin, and it makes perfect sense but no sense at the same time.

“That was fun,” Tobin comments, voice breaking through her thoughts. It’s a pleasant interruption and Christen smiles, following Tobin over to the wall in which they’ve sat their belongings against.

“Yeah,” Christen agrees, picking up her water bottle and twisting it open. They weren’t really on the field for that long, but anything that involves Tobin’s presence qualifies as enjoyable to her. She takes a long sip of the water, looking up at the sky.

They stand in silence for a moment, both of them recovering from the exercise and taking long swigs of water. Christen wonders if having a person as a habit is a bad thing, allowing her eyes to run over Tobin’s slender figure. She’s not sure how it would work. This seemingly good habit could go bad quickly, Christen figures, so she needs to be careful with how she handles it.

Tobin catches Christen’s gaze just as it’s roaming across her muscular thighs, raising her eyebrows teasingly and effectively causing a blush to appear across Christen’s cheeks once again. “You ready to go?” the older girl asks, swinging her bag over her shoulder.

Christen nods and they set off towards the car together. This Thursday's weather is a lot less pleasant than the one prior, clouds littering the sky and blocking all of the stars from sight. The pavement is wet from an earlier rainfall, as is the metal fence, which nearly causes Christen to slip, her hand grabbing at the top of the wiring just in time to keep herself from hurtling backwards.

She feels Tobin’s hand on her back instantly, helping to steady her. “Careful,” Tobin warns her gently, her voice graceful and calm compared to Christen’s awkward movements as she continues to climb up the fence, trying to play off her embarrassment.

As soon as they’re over the fence, Tobin catches up to where Christen had been walking a bit in front of her. Their arms brush against each other in their close proximity, and Christen has to still her body in order to suppress the shiver that forces itself up her spine at the contact.

“What kind of music do you like?” Tobin asks curiously, the sound of her voice lacing together with the noise her cleats make against the concrete, and it’s a combination that Christen’s ears welcome easily, something she’s already growing familiar with.

She thinks for a moment. “Any kind,” Christen decides, not wanting to give a wrong answer.

“Awesome,” Tobin grins, poking her elbow into Christen’s side. “I’ve got a CD in my car that I wanna play for you. I’m glad you’re not picky, because it means I can’t disappoint you.”

Christen knows that Tobin couldn’t disappoint her even if she played a song that had been recorded in a sewer with an iPod touch, but it’s not because of the music. It’s because it’s Tobin, and something about the fact that she wants to show her a CD sparks a fire of excitement deep within her stomach.

When they get inside of the car, Christen’s phone buzzes. She looks at the screen, smiling and reading it out loud.

“It’s Alex,” she announces, immediately dragging Tobin’s attention away from where she had been digging through a case full of CD's under her seat, “she’s asking where we are.”

It’s hard to ignore the look of panic that is plastered across Tobin’s face, and it only serves to replace Christen’s excitement with worry. The brown-haired girl doesn’t say anything that reflects her expression, though, just tugs her bottom lip between her teeth and goes back to rummaging through the CD's.

“Tell her we went to the store to pick something up,” Tobin orders, and it calms Christen’s nerves slightly. Maybe Tobin had just been caught off guard and she read into it wrong, or maybe she didn’t want Alex to drill her with questions.

Only seconds after she sends the message, Christen’s phone buzzes again, and she laughs slightly at Alex’s response: “she says to get butter.”

Tobin rolls her eyes, sits up straight and shows Christen the CD. It’s dusty, and she definitely doesn’t recognize the album cover or the artist. “Tell her we’ll get the butter,” she says, jamming the CD into the slot and cranking the volume.

Christen doesn’t pay any attention to the song as it blares through the speakers. Her eyes are fixed on Tobin, her bright grin visible in the darkness of the car as they drive. She’s pretty sure the song is old, something she’s never heard before, but like she had promised earlier, she likes it.

Or, rather, she likes Tobin. And Tobin likes the song, so it’s sort of like the math property that Christen has suddenly forgotten the name of, too preoccupied with enjoying the moment.

Enjoying Tobin.

---

“You’re coming to the practice tonight, right?” Alex asks, sliding past Tobin to get to the fridge. Their kitchen is a bit chaotic in the mornings, with all three of them maneuvering around each other to get breakfast, and though it’s a good size for an apartment, it’s just not big enough to fit all three of them at once.

“Yes,” Christen answers enthusiastically, unable to contain her excitement. Her nerves have made themselves known within the pit of her stomach, but she’s doing a good job of suppressing them, allowing the excitement to take their place.

Tobin glares at Alex as she elbows her, causing her to spill the milk she was pouring into her cereal. “Make sure she’s ready so that we can leave right after I get home from work. I want to be on time to this practice,” she adds, shooting Tobin a look.

“I’ve got her under control,” Tobin jokes, her and Alex both turning their heads to look over at her, and Christen attempts to hide her growing smile behind her apple as she takes another bite of it.

“Well, I’m about to be late,” Alex sighs, checking the clock and dumping the remains of her bagel into the trashcan. “I’ll see you two later.”

The second the door closes behind her, Tobin’s in the seat next to Christen at the counter. Her too-fast-to-be-human movement should startle Christen, but she’s too focused on the fact that Tobin’s toe is brushing across the back of her leg, brown eyes staring at her intently.

“I’m gonna give you a few tips so you’ll make it out of this practice alive,” Tobin starts, and Christen can tell that she’s kidding by the tone of her voice, but she plays along anyways, feigning fear. “First. Get along with everyone.”

“Okay,” Christen nods in confirmation. “Got it.”

“Second,” Tobin continues, still attempting to look serious and threatening, but Christen can tell she’s making these up as she goes. “Don’t be a ball hog. We want you to score, but everyone needs a chance.”

“Of course,” Christen answers, raising an eyebrow at how obvious these tips are. Tobin doesn’t have to tell her for her to know. “Is that i-”

“-third, try to act somewhat clueless. The team is excited to have you, but they’re not gonna like it if you come in acting like a big shot,” Tobin finishes, smirking at Christen, knowing that Christen’s much more likely to be the complete opposite of this.

“Got it.”

“Follow those guidelines, and you’re set,” Tobin says as she gets up from the chair, heading towards her room. Christen’s eyes follow her down the hallway, curious as to what she’s doing. As though Tobin can hear her thoughts, she calls behind her, “be ready on time, too. Alex isn’t afraid to leave both of our asses here if we hold her up.”

---

The field looks different during the day.

It’s the first thing that crosses Christen’s mind as she follows Alex and Tobin onto the field, and she almost voices it out loud, but quickly stops herself when she remembers that Tobin didn’t seem to want anyone knowing about their Thursday night practices. (Even though Christen finds it a little peculiar, since Alex was already aware of the first one, but she hopes it’s just because Tobin doesn’t want her to start tagging along).

The experience feels a lot different when it isn’t accompanied by climbing the fence and having to keep your voices down in order to prevent being caught. Christen has to admit it’s a lot less exhilarating, but she’s never one to turn down an open soccer field or extra time with Tobin. She grips the bag that’s slung over her shoulder, looking around.

There aren’t a lot of girls here. Only a few, spread out across the field in pairs, passing the ball. They must be warming up, Christen thinks to herself as she watches a curly-haired girl kick the ball across the field to another girl with short blonde hair.

“Over here,” Tobin tells her, grabbing Christen’s attention by tugging on her arm lightly. Christen lets herself be guided over towards the wall, where Alex is standing with another unfamiliar girl. Not that Christen is expected to know anyone here, anyways.

As they approach, Alex and the girl both stop talking to look up at them. Alex smiles brightly, motioning with her hand towards the girl.

“This is Sydney,” she tells Christen, placing her hand on the other girl’s shoulder. “I’ve talked to you about her before. She works with me.”

Christen isn’t sure she remembers this conversation, and she’s distracted with the way Tobin is still clutching her arm, but she nods anyways, smiling at Sydney. “Yeah, you have. Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Sydney says. She immediately turns to face Alex again, raising an eyebrow knowingly. “So, she’s the one you want to find a boyfriend for?”

“What?” Christen asks, voice too loud and high-pitched. She feels Tobin’s grip on her arm tighten as Sydney laughs.

“Yeah, she’s the one,” Alex says, but she doesn’t seem too focused on the conversation. Christen follows her gaze down to where Tobin’s strong grip is turning her skin red, and when she looks back up, Alex’s blue eyes are looking into hers, confusion and curiosity battling each other within the two depths.

Tobin drops her arm so fast and obviously that Christen’s head turns to watch as her arm falls back to her side, and she hates the feeling of nerves that resurface in her stomach. She knows it’s because Alex took notice, and she shouldn’t make a big deal out of it, but she can’t help but feel disappointed.

“Well, we’ll have to find someone, then,” Sydney says, completely oblivious. Christen nods, trying to act excited, but so many other emotions are flooding her system that she’s unable to mimic happiness very well.

Thankfully, one of the girl’s on the field calls everyone in, and this time it’s Alex’s arm dragging her into the group, waving for Sydney and Tobin to follow.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the date thing,” she whispers into Christen’s ear as they start towards the mass of girls gathered in the middle of the field. “I just thought it would be fun, since Syd and I go on double dates a lot. We figured you could join.”

“Oh,” Christen says, struggling to form any kind of positive response. “Okay.”

When Sydney and Tobin catch up, Christen drops back towards Tobin, trying to find some sense of security. Any sort of confidence she had walked in here with had melted, and she was desperate for someone to make her feel more comfortable within this largely unfamiliar group.

Tobin gave her a small smile, but Christen felt her heart fall into her stomach at the obvious pain sketched across her face.

Before she could say anything, though, a loud voice was filling the area, interrupting all conversations. Christen looked up to see the blonde girl from earlier, standing in the middle of the circle with a giant grin on her face.

“Hey, guys, listen up,” she ordered, voice demanding but remaining kind at the same time. “Since our coach, Jill, couldn’t be here today, I’m going to be in charge, since obviously I’m most responsible,” she says jokingly.

“Sure, Megan,” someone says, prompting everyone to laugh.

Megan rolls her eyes, suppressing her own laugh. “Seriously, though. In a few minutes, we’re gonna warm-up and do our usual practice, and maybe discuss our last game a little bit and what we need to do in order to improve. But, first….” She stops speaking, eyes roaming around the group, searching, until they finally land upon Christen. “We need to welcome our newbie.”

All heads snap in the direction of Christen, and the dark-haired girl feels her face heat up quickly. Megan motions for her to come to the center of the group, and she does so, moving slowly and feeling her nerves spike to a level they never have before.

As soon as Christen gets close enough, the blonde wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. “This is Christen,” she announces smiling. “She just moved here with Alex and Tobin, so she has to be pretty cool.”

Christen laughs nervously, feeling a bit more comfortable but still extremely on edge as everyone greets her, friendly as they tap her on the shoulder or shake her hand. She forces a smile despite feeling like her knees may give in, and when she catches Tobin’s eyes, they’re glued to her, a twinkle in them that she’s never seen before.

She doesn’t think it’s a good thing.

Nothing seems to change, though. The minute they begin warming up, Tobin rushes over to her and places her hand in the exact same spot as earlier, only lighter this time, and Christen can see her eyes dart around nervously to make sure they don’t have an audience.

They pass the ball around and Christen can feel Tobin’s eyes on her. She tries to pretend she doesn’t notice, because based on earlier interactions it’s fair to assume that Tobin scares easy, but Tobin catches Christen watching her when she isn’t able to avert her eyes in time.

Tobin doesn’t run, though. She doesn’t quickly detach herself from the situation like a kid who’s been caught doing something wrong, the way she did with Alex. Instead, she straightens up, running her tongue across her lips as Christen watches, eyes following the movement. Christen feels her breath hitch in her throat, and she’s not sure if it’s from shock or something else.

They spend the rest of practice doing drills and discussing the game, as Megan had told them they would, and Christen can’t help but notice how Tobin can’t keep her hands off of her. She swears she’s going to have a bad tan line where Tobin’s hand has barely left her arm the entire hour and a half, only moving it when they have to spread out, or when Alex’s gaze sweeps over them every so often.

She also can’t help but notice how quickly Tobin pulls herself away from her, when they’re drinking water by the wall and Alex and Sydney walk over.

Christen notices a lot of things, and it’s never seemed like a bad thing, but when they’re walking to the car and Tobin leaps nearly a foot in the opposite direction as their hands accidentally brush against each other, she starts to think that she was wrong.

Maybe it is a bad thing.

---

To say Christen is shocked would be a huge understatement.

Her sister calls her a few days later, and she nearly drops her phone in the toilet out of shock. It’s in the evening, and she’s straightening her hair in the bathroom when her phone starts to buzz insistently on the sink counter. Upon seeing it’s her sister, Christen feels her face turn pale.

Nobody has called her since the last time she talked to her mom, which was the night after she had gone to the mall with Tobin. Their conversation had been dull and brief, and Christen had silently decided not to call back until she wasn’t feeling so homesick. She didn’t want to talk herself into moving back home, not when she had such a good opportunity available.

The first thing that crosses her mind is that it’s an emergency. This thought alone makes her dive towards her cell phone, answering the call immediately. “Tyler?” she greets her, panic evident in her tone.

“Christen!” the voice on the other end of the line answers, and when Christen hears that there’s no sense of urgency or fear in her voice, she lets out a long breath of relief.

“You scared me,” Christen tells her sister, rolling her eyes at herself for automatically assuming the worst. “How are you? Everything is okay, right?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Tyler asks, confused. Before Christen can answer, she’s talking again, clearly not expecting a reply to her question. “I’m great. The real question is how are you? How’s Florida?”

Christen smiles to herself at how good it feels to hear her sister’s voice after not speaking to her or seeing her for this long. “It’s really nice,” she replies, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the door frame of the bathroom. “The apartment’s great, my roommates are great… I really like it.”

She can picture Tyler’s giant grin through the phone. “That’s good,” she says. “Can I come visit?”

Christen’s eyes fly open and suddenly she’s standing up straight, looking at her wide-eyed expression in the mirror. “Really?” she asks, surprise laced in her words.

“Well, if you don’t want me to, I won’t, but I miss you and I wan-”

“No!” Christen interrupts quickly. “No, I do want you to come, I just wasn’t expecting you to ask to visit.”

“Oh,” Tyler replies. “Well, I want to come see this great apartment of yours, and the great roommates that come along with it. When do you think I could visit?”

“Whenever,” Christen says. “You’ll have to get a hotel, though. There’s not really anywhere here for you to stay.”

“That’s fine. I have to go, but text me and we can plan it, okay? Love you!”

“Love you too,” Christen answers before hanging up, sitting her phone back down on the counter.

The conversation with her sister really helps to shape the rest of her day. It puts her in a good, productive mood, and she ends up vacuuming the entire apartment before Alex gets home from work.

Tobin isn’t home, and she’s not sure exactly where she is, but she tries not to worry about it too much. It’s not unusual for Tobin to go out for a day, and plus, she’s been trying not to allow herself to think about Tobin as often lately. It never does anything but confuse her or cause her to overthink every little interaction between the two of them, so she avoids it the best she can, busying herself with other things.

She’s moved onto scrubbing the kitchen floor by the time she hears the door open, and when she looks up to see who it is, Alex comes into view, accompanied by two other girls.

One of them is Sydney, the girl she introduced Christen to at practice the other night. She recognizes her by the long braid cascading over one shoulder and the numerous tattoos. The second girl is someone Christen knows she’s seen before, but she’s having trouble matching a name to a face.

“Chris, are you cleaning the floor?” Alex asks, seemingly shocked. Christen smiles awkwardly and shrugs, sitting back on her heels so she can look up at the three girls better.

“Damn, Al, she’s been living here not even a month and you’re already making her clean your floor?” Sydney jokes, leaning against the counter and smiling down at Christen.

“I did not make her!” Alex defends, throwing her hands up. She looks back at Christen. “I do appreciate it, though. Why don’t you take a break and hangout with us? We can make Tobin finish the job later.”

Christen agrees, trying to hide her hesitation as she gets up from the floor. She’s never really been one for hanging out in a group like this, but she forces her anxiety down as she follows them into the living room, sliding down onto the couch next to Alex.

“This is Ashlyn, by the way,” Alex says to Christen, motioning towards the girl sitting on the other end of the couch. Christen looks over at her. She’s got wavy, bleach blonde hair and tattoos running up one arm. The way she’s wearing her snap back reminds Christen of Tobin, and she smiles.

“Hey,” Christen says, reaching out to shake the girl’s hand before realization hits her. “Wait, I saw you at practice, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Ashlyn confirms, voice low and smooth. “I’m the goalkeeper for the team.”

“Oh! Cool,” Christen replies, nodding her head.

“So, Christen,” Sydney starts, tilting her head and smiling wide, “now that you’ve been living here for long enough, and Alex can’t kick you out without seeming like an asshole, you can tell us the truth about having Alex as a roommate. How terrible she is, and everything.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn encourages, leaning in closer. “Come on, tell us.”

“I am not a bad roommate!” Alex protests, glaring at Sydney. All three eyes turn towards Christen, waiting for her answer.

“She’s a really good roommate,” Christen tells them, patting Alex’s shoulder. “She’s helped me a lot since I’ve moved in, because I’m still not that familiar with the area.”

Ashlyn snorts, Sydney rolling her eyes. “Sure,” Sydney says disbelievingly. “She’s just saying that because she feels like she has to. We need Tobin to give us the real scoop. Is she here?”

Christen’s mind drifts back to Tobin at the mention of her name, all of her thoughts hitting her once again. She shrugs. “I don’t know where she is, but she hasn’t been home all day.”

“Probably playing soccer,” Ashlyn comments, and Christen feels her stomach drop. She knows it’s not Thursday, but the thought of Tobin practicing without her makes her upset. She’s sure that the brown-haired girl practices alone sometimes, but she loves going with her, and she would’ve thought that since she’s home with nothing to do all the time, she may have offered.

Sydney and Alex go into the kitchen to find the menu for their favorite pizza shop so that they can order dinner for all of them, and Ashlyn begins to ask Christen questions about her life in California. Ashlyn is nice, and Christen definitely likes her, but she can’t seem to come up with real answers to the question she’s asking. Her mind is too distracted, Tobin taking over her head once again.

She’s starting to get used to how often Tobin is on her mind..

They end up ordering a large pizza, and all three girls insist that Christen doesn’t have to pay since she’s still fairly new here. Christen finds it funny that they can use how they describe the time that she’s been in Florida to their own advantage, switching between ‘long enough’ and ‘just got here’ often, but she doesn’t say anything. It’s a nice gesture, and she appreciates that they’re all trying so hard to make her feel at home here.

The only part that bugs her is that it’s not their constant kindness that makes her feel like she belongs here. It’s not Alex introducing her to new people, or Sydney trying to fix her up on a date, or Ashlyn complimenting her on her skills and telling her she’ll make a great addition to the team. They help, yes, but it’s not what’s keeping her here, decorating her room and cleaning the apartment as though she’s lived here for years.

It’s Tobin. Tobin is the difference between the apartment feeling like a cheap motel and feeling like a house she grew up in. It’s the accidental touches, the looks they exchange, the Thursday night practices. It’s Tobin, and Christen’s worries begin to grow even deeper as she comes to this realization.

What happens if Tobin leaves?

The door to the apartment opens, and even without turning back to look, Christen knows exactly who it is.

“Tobin!” Ashlyn greets her, rising from her spot on the couch to go over and see her. Christen’s eyes travel up to the TV screen and she tries to focus on whatever the hell Sydney has put on, eyes staring blankly ahead, but every other sense of hers is trained on what’s going on behind her.

She hears Tobin’s voice, bright and happy as usual. “Hey,” she says, and Christen doesn’t have to look at her to know her eyes are burning a hole in the back of her head. She can feel it.

“Just who we were looking for,” Sydney says, looking at Tobin over her shoulder. Christen continues to look at the screen, eyes burning from not blinking, body stiff as she listens to the conversation taking place around her. “We want you to tell us how it is to have Alex as a roommate, since Christen wouldn’t tell us the truth.”

“She did tell the truth!” Christen hears Alex yell from the kitchen.

“Sure,” Sydney calls back, looking at Tobin.

“She’s a terrible roommate,” Tobin starts, and for a minute Christen thinks she’s being serious. She’s considering turning around and defending Alex until Tobin continues, and she can tell she’s joking. “Horrible. Leaves her messes everywhere. Wakes us up early with her music when she showers. She even makes us cook breakfast for her.”

“I knew it!” Sydney says triumphantly, looking back towards the kitchen and smirking at Alex.

“And, she makes poor Press here clean the kitchen floor,” Ashlyn adds, leaning forward and tapping Christen on the back. Christen’s eyes strain to focus on the TV. “We walked in on it happening, and Alex totally lied to our faces about it.”

“Shut up, all of you,” Alex growls, walking out of the kitchen and over towards to couch. She shoves Sydney playfully as she sits down again. “You can think what you want, but Christen and I know the truth.”

Christen nods and forces a smile, eyes still fixed ahead of her on the TV.

Her body turns ice cold when she hears Tobin’s next words. “No, Press is just too nice to say the real truth.”

There’s no use in trying to focus on the TV anymore. Christen feels all of the tension in her body disappear the second Tobin puts a hand on her shoulder, running a thumb over her skin through the fabric of her shirt. She leans back into the touch, savoring it, knowing that Tobin will pull away the second someone looks their way and notices the interaction. She knows it. It’s what always happens.

Nobody notices it. Alex doesn’t give them a look, and everyone’s more focused on the conversation rather than the fact that Tobin’s rubbing patterns into Christen’s skin with her thumb.

“She’s team Alex all the way, but nice try, guys,” Alex says, trying to sound annoyed, but she can’t suppress the smile that makes it’s way onto her lips. “Team Sydney just can’t get Christen on board. What a shame.”

“No way,” Tobin argues. “She’s totally on our team. Right, Christen?”

Christen dares to turn her head, meeting Tobin’s lazy gaze. She bites her lip, shrugging apologetically.

“I’m gonna have to say I’m team Alex,” Christen answers, ignoring the protests of Ashlyn and Sydney. Alex laughs, crossing her arms over her chest proudly, and out of the corner of her eye, she can see the two girls scooting closer to Alex, continuing the silly argument that Christen can’t even remember the origin of.

Tobin doesn’t move at all, though. She continues staring down at Christen, brown eyes searching her face wordlessly. Christen can’t read through the expression, though she tries, despite the fact that Tobin is indecipherable.

“I think you’re team Tobin,” the brown-haired girl says, voice barely above a whisper.

Christen’s heart stops in her chest, and for a minute she can’t hear anything around them. Tobin’s words circle around her head, forming a chain that seems to tie her brain in place so that she can’t think properly. She opens her mouth to respond, though she has no clue what she’s going to say, but before she can get any words out Tobin is turning around, heading for the kitchen.

She doesn’t miss the self-satisfied smile on her face before she goes, though.

---

There’s not a whole lot going on in Christen’s life within the next few days. She passes time by going to the gym, watching TV, and texting her sister to confirm details about when she’s coming to visit.

It’s fun, planning the visit with her sister. Christen misses all of her family, and she’d love it if she could see her mom, but she knows that having her mom travel all the way to Florida just to spend a weekend is impractical and a lot to ask. The better idea would be for Christen to go home to California for a week, just so she’d be able to catch up with everyone. The plus of having her sister come, though, is that it’s not that difficult for her sister to hop on a plane, and Tyler likes to shop nearly as much as Christen

They definitely won’t have to worry about being bored. And, Christen finally gets to show off what she’s done to her new bedroom to someone who’s actually interested in the little things like she is. It’s pretty much a win-win situation.

Christen is currently taking part in activity number 2 out of 3, which consists of binge watching Netflix and snacking on a big bowl of popcorn. She’s got her feet propped up on the table, something she only really does when she’s the alone in the room, and she’s wearing her favorite pair of gray sweats.

It’s comfortable. She’s comfortable, in a physical and emotional sense. Though she loves the company Alex and other girls on the soccer team have supplied her with over the past couple of days, Christen needs her alone time in order to function properly. Being constantly surrounded by people can really take a toll on her mood.

Alex and Sydney tried to drag her out with them, along with Servando and Dom, but Christen had politely declined, not wanting to be a third wheel and also craving some time to herself. By the sound of the rain hammering against the windows of the apartment, Christen had a feeling they’d be stuck wherever they had gone longer than they intended to be.

She’s halfway into another episode of Friends when Tobin exits her bedroom, clad in soccer shorts and a giant hoodie. The strings of it are pulled so tight that you can barely see her face under the fastened material, but Christen can still feel that familiar, heavy gaze on her.

Tobin walks into the kitchen, but she’s back in the living room quickly, holding a juice box. Christen can see her face a little better as she gets closer, the shadows of her sweatshirt unable to dim the brightness in her brown eyes.

When she just stands there, Christen laughs and scoots over, pulling back the blanket and patting the couch cushion. “You look comfy,” she half-laughs as Tobin plops down beside her, tugging at the edge of the blanket so she can crawl underneath it.

“So do you,” Tobin muses, poking at the waistband of Christen’s sweatpants. “I like you like this. You seem so like yourself.”

“How do you know this is so like me when you haven’t even seen me like this before?” Christen challenges, watching Tobin intently. The light of the TV outlines Tobin’s prominent cheekbones, defines the lines on her forehead as she raises her eyebrows thoughtfully.

“Because I know you,” she answers, leaning over to rest her head on Christen’s shoulder. “Don’t question it, Christen.”

Tobin is rarely ever like this, and for a minute, Christen thinks something is wrong. But, as they continue watching the show, silent other than Tobin’s occasional goofy comments about the dialogue, she realizes that she’s acting this way because it’s just the two of them. Out of all of the things Christen knows about Tobin (and she definitely doesn’t claim to be an expert), she realizes that she’s discovered all of them when they were spending time together with just the two of them.

She likes this side of Tobin, more than any other side of her personality that she’s seen so far.

“Are you warm?” Tobin asks, peeking up at Christen from inside her sweatshirt. Christen’s eyes dart downwards to meet the brown ones surveying her, and suddenly, she realizes how close together their faces are. She can smell the grape juice on Tobin’s breath, each exhale hitting her lips softly, making goosebumps rise across her skin.

Tobin’s lips are pink. Pink and smooth, Christen realizes, never having seen them this close to make that observation before. She watches, forgetting how to breathe properly, as Tobin’s tongue darts out across her bottom lip, wetting it. When she moves her gaze back into Tobin’s eyes, there’s something deep within them that wasn’t there just seconds before.

A loud clap of thunder has them jumping away from each other, nearly knocking heads in the process, neither of them having expected the loud noise that ruined whatever kind of moment they had been stuck in. Tobin had fallen onto her back, watching Christen as her chest rose rapidly, lips parting to take in air.

Christen looks back at her, wanting to say something but struggling to find words. Should she say something about what just happened? Apologize? Ask for an explanation?

“Yeah, I’m warm,” she decides on, not realizing how stupid it sounds until the words have already left her lips. She internally scolds herself, watching as Tobin’s lips twist up into a smirk.

They’re interrupted by a second clap of thunder, but this time, the lights go out. Christen feels her heart racing as she blinks, only finding more darkness as she squints. She reaches for her phone, turning on the flashlight and immediately finding Tobin.

“Well shit,” Tobin says, squinting against the blinding light that Christen is directing right at her face. “That was definitely the power.”

Christen nearly laughs at how obvious the statement is, but she quickly stops herself when Tobin presses her body closer to hers again, wrapping her hands around her waist like a child begging their mom to protect them. “I’m scared of thunder,” she confesses, looking up at Christen innocently.

Though she’s not sure the fear is real, Christen treats it as though it is, resting a comforting hand on Tobin’s back. “It’ll be okay,” she tells her softly. “We just need to find, like, a candle to light. So that we can actually see. And maybe a few flashlights.”

Tobin sits up, one hand still around the back of Christen’s hips, and Christen tries to ignore the way her goosebumps haven’t faded. “I think I’ve got at least one of those things in my closet,” Tobin tells her, rising to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”

As Tobin disappears into her bedroom, Christen walks into the kitchen, reaching for the fridge but quickly withdrawing her hand as she remembers that rule about not opening it when the power goes out. Instead, she turns towards the pantry, leaning down and reaching for a water bottle on the bottom shelf. They may not be cold, but at least she won’t be dehydrated now.

She grabs one for Tobin, setting it on the counter and turning back to assess their eating situations. Christen locates two snack size bags of Doritos, grabbing them and placing them down next to the waters. She’s never really had the power go out for longer than an hour, and she hopes that it won’t be out for too long now, either.

Tobin returns, clutching two candles and setting them down on the counter. “Romantic,” Christen remarks jokingly, immediately regretting it as Tobin looks up at her. Thankfully, she’s still smiling, her worry fading away faster than it came on.

The two candles give them some source of light, though not much, and they have their snacks to eat. Christen realizes that it might be a little awkward, without having the TV to at least supply some background noise, but thankfully, Tobin strikes up a conversation between them easily.

“I’ve never really been in a power outage before,” Tobin admits, sliding her foot along the wood of the stool. She’s still in the affectionate mood she was in early, Christen quickly notices, and she can’t help but feel slightly relieved.

“Same here,” Christen replies, smiling sweetly. “We can do this together, though. It’ll be alright.”

Christen swears that Tobin’s smile is brighter than the two candles combined. She quickly stands up from her stool, offering her hand up to Christen as she looks down at her, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Let’s play hide and seek,” she proposes excitedly, eyes moving over Christen’s face to gauge her reaction.

The dark-haired girl smiles, assuming she’s kidding, but she’s proven wrong when Tobin drops her hand, turning towards the hall. Christen’s eyes follow her figure as she skips towards her bedroom, watching until Tobin turns around and frowns, ordering her to cover her eyes.

Though she feels slightly ridiculous, Christen does as Tobin told her, bringing her hands over her eyes and beginning to count to ten. The last time she remembers playing hide and seek was years ago, when she was little and living in California with her sisters. She’s unsure of why Tobin would want to play hide and seek in the dark like this, when Christen can barely even see to make her way down the hallway.

She opens the door to Tobin’s bedroom, hoping that she had still decided to hide in here so it would be easy to find her and she wouldn’t have to keep searching the apartment. Christen hasn’t ever been in Tobin’s room before, has only seen glimpses of it after their Thursday sessions as Tobin disappears behind her door, and she has to admit that she likes it. It’s a lot different than her bedroom, laid out similarly but with gray walls instead of pink, brown sheets instead of white.

It’s hard to see in the dark, nearly causing Christen to trip over a pile of Tobin’s clothes on the ground, but she grabs onto her bed frame, steadying herself.

There’s a movement somewhere in the corner of Christen’s eyes, only visible from the dim light of the candle that she’s carrying with her. She turns quickly, but soon realizes it must have just been her mind messing with her when she finds nothing but carpet and a few more random shirts lying around.

Before she can even turn herself back around and continue her search, there’s a hand on her shoulder, a hand on her waist. She smiles to herself, pressing back against the touch, but it isn’t what Tobin wants. The hands move, effectively turning Christen around, and she finds herself face to face with Tobin again, similar to the situation she was in early when they were sitting on the couch.

Only this time, there’s no thunder to interrupt. Christen can feel her heart hammering against her chest, can feel the way Tobin’s fingers are drumming against her skin lightly, her shirt riding up slightly where she rests her hand on her waist. Can feel Tobin’s other hand moving up from her shoulder until it meets her jaw, tilting it up slightly.

And then she kisses her.

The air around them seems to get warmer as Tobin’s lips press against hers softly, remaining there for a few seconds before she pulls back, eyes fluttering open to meet Christen’s. Christen feels frozen, blinking. Everything seems to move in slow motion, her body moving on it’s own accord.

She reaches up thoughtlessly, pulling Tobin’s face back to hers, kissing her hard. Tobin’s hands grip her waist tightly, moving their bodies closer together. Christen pushes down the nervous feeling that rises in her stomach faster than it does, opting to focus on the kiss rather than overthink.

It lasts longer than the first one, the two girls pressed together, standing in the middle of Tobin’s bedroom as the rain continues coming down loudly against the house. Tobin tastes like grape juice and mint, her lips soft and persistent against Christen’s. They fall into the kiss, Tobin deepening it by opening her mouth, pushing Christen back so that she’s sitting on the edge of her mattress.

When they finally break apart, Christen is unable to suppress the wide smile that takes over her face.Thankfully, her expression is reflected on Tobin’s face as the brown-haired girl looks down at her, sweatshirt still pulled up around her face like it was earlier.

“I found you,” Tobin whispers breathlessly.

“I was supposed to be finding you,” Christen tells her, chest moving up and down quickly. Tobin shrugs, not seeming to care.

“We found each other, then.”

Christen couldn’t agree more.