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I had been the 3rd lightbearer Andal Brask had met when he was resurrected, eventually I had been part of his crew once he had one. It's been over a few centuries since, Andal died a long time ago, things had changed, and Cayde is hunter vanguard. I got stuck with a ketch of Eliksni for a hundred years. Once I returned, I was welcomed warmly back into the tower, but it had been months since then by now.

It was just a simple retrieval in Old Chicago that went wrong. I had to call for a pickup, my ship was destroyed, and my ghost's shell was broken and cracked. It was Amanda that brought me back to the tower, and immediately I was grabbed by a hysterical Cayde-6.

"What were you thinking?" My best friend yelled, his hands digging into my shoulders.

"I did what I was supposed to, Cayde." I spoke softly.

I could feel him shake, and I silently asked my Ghost to transmat us to my apartment. Once away from prying eyes he almost collapsed. It was almost uncharacteristic of him. He yanked my helmet off, not harsh enough to hurt me but to get it away quickly, throwing it towards my couch.

"You got stranded again." How his voice shook took me by surprise, it was always surprising to hear it.

"Cayde..." I whispered.

"I thought you were going to die, or worse." His hands held my face, "I can't let anything take you away again, I would die first to make sure you never have to." It was unlike him to speak from the heart like this, yet he was.

Then he pressed his mouth against mine. An overwhelming warm feeling filled my chest as my breath hitched. I felt like crying, his hands holding the side of my neck and face so solid yet gentle. I kissed back, my own hands finding their way to his sides. I felt the light he had fit together with my own, it felt bright and beautiful and real. When he pulled away I could feel the softness in his gaze, all directed at me.

"Don't say things like that." I spoke, my voice rough, "You can't die on me either, 6."

"I won't." He smiled, or well, in the way Exos smile.

My ghost then made his appearance, and Cayde's expression dropped immediately. He looked shocked, horrified even. He was incredibly expressive for being a robot.

"Your ghost was shot?!" Cayde shouted, seeing the falling apart shell, which only then did it hit me how close to dying I was.

"Oh fuck-" I looked to Cayde, feeling tears flood my eyes, "Cayde-"

"Hey, hey, it's alright." Cayde realized his mistake, and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me tightly against his chest.

"I was so distracted and worried and I didn't even think-" I croaked out, "I almost died, I almost- like Andal-" before I could finish speaking I felt Cayde hug me tighter.

"You didn't, you're here, you're safe now." His voice was soft and comforting, even if our roles were just opposite a few moments ago. "It's okay, sweetheart."

I hiccuped a bit, trying to hold back sobs as I spoke again, softly and quietly, "I love you." into his collarbone.

He froze for a second, I could feel him shake again, THE Cayde-6 never cried- well that's what people thought. Exos couldn't cry in the same way others can, yet with the way he shook and sobbed as he held me tightly I felt it in my heart. It was shocking, and it hurt. I gripped the back of his armor, leaning into his touch.

"I love you, too." His voice was muffled by my head yet I heard it clearly.

I looked up at him, his expression pensive as I reached up to hold the side of his face in my hand. He never got like this, I know he wouldn't explain why either, yet I understood; his composure slipped away, all of his trauma came crashing down at once. It's overwhelming.

"I'm so sorry, Cayde." I whispered.

"I am too." He paused, "damn, I really lost it there, huh... What the effect you have on me, darling." He sounded smug, and his expression matched.

I stifled a laugh at his words, affection for him filling my chest making it heavy. Leave it to Cayde-6 to make light of this, and I loved it.

"Oh come on, sweetheart, I thought that was a pretty good one." He complained jokingly, holding my waist.

"It was cheesy." I softly laughed.

He then pulled me towards him, running his thumbs back and forth across my sides. "Is this cheesy to you too?" He asked and I burst into laughter.

"Absolutely, but it's sooo hot." I said, a huge smile on my face before I pulled his face forward to kiss me again.

I found it endearing that I could hear faint fan sounds coming from the exo. Without meaning to I started giggling, pulling away. Before anything could be said, Sundance materialized beside Cayde.

"Not to ruin the moment, but there's more important things to do than giggle and kiss." The ghost teased even as she was serious. Like guardian like ghost.

Cayde huffed, pressing his mouth on my cheek swiftly as a kiss and let go. "We can talk about this later, yeah?" He smiled and I nodded in agreement. "Oh and don't worry about the ghost shell, I have it covered." He winked, and before I could argue he transmatted away.

My heart fluttered at the gesture. A warmth encapsulated my entire body making me feel fuzzy. I smiled to myself for at least 20 minutes before my ghost gathered my attention.

"We have to go see Commander Zavala." He spoke and I groaned tiredly.

"What a way to ruin my mood." I sighed, transmatting to the tower courtyard.

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"I loved Andal just as much as you did." I scoffed.

"And he loved you." Cayde sighed, tired of arguing, but what he said shocked me.

"He-" I felt all my pent up emotions I held down for months finally reach its peak. "Andal-"

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It was during Cayde's funeral that avenging him was first brought up, and shot down by Zavala. The Guardian everyone looked up to siding with the commander above anything.

"You sicken me. You witnessed his death, held him in his last moment alive, and you refuse to put a target on Uldren's back?" I scoffed at the silent 'hero'. "I will kill Uldren Sov. For Cayde."

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"What do you think he would've wanted?"

"Your head on a stick."

"For you?"

And before I could think about that, I fired and killed Uldren Sov.

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"I don't know what to say for this one." There was a sound of laughter, but not joyful in the slightest. "So, my guardian, you killed me. You may be no god killer, but you're my hero. I don't know if I ever got to tell you before, but, and I'm being real here, I love you. I know you'll feel forever guilty for killing me, but I don't want you to blame yourself. I hope that you know I loved you with everything I had, you coming into my life was the best thing I ever had. You'll mean more than my queen ever did. Thank you, and you can have the cloak. To remember me and Andal by."

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"Well look at that, last I heard of ya, you were missin'." The familiar voice spoke from the shadows of the annex.

"I am not in the mood, Drifter." I looked to exactly where he stood, and he walked out.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He sighed, "it's good to see a familiar face that's not deeply against me." Drifter said as he sat down next to me.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, "it is." I repeated, feeling comforted for the first time since the prison of elders. "How much do you know about what happened."

"The awoken prince killed the hunter vanguard, and you hung his head on the wall." He gestured with his hands as he spoke and I hummed flatly.

"The hero of the red war, that godslayer, is a coward. So is Zavala." I felt tears begin to flood my eyes, "Zavala is the reason they're both gone." As I bitterly spoke I felt guilty for blaming him.

"Both of em'?" He asked, taking a moment, "Oh... Andal Brask too, huh."

"He was so kind to me, so when they- when he and Cayde became more than friends I didn't know what to do- I wanted to go with you, actually." I looked at the rough looking man sitting against me.

"Why with me?"

"Not sure. Although, now? Eli, you're the only one who would understand."

"Yeah."

"Being gone changed you." I bitterly laughed.

"It changed you too, didn't it?" I looked to him, and for once he kept eye contact.

"It did, but... Cayde... Cayde dying changed me more." I spoke, looking away. "Why are you here."

"With you?" Drifter looked up at the traveler, "I don't know either." And he looked back to me, tilting my head to him, "but, if we have nobody else, we have each other."

"What about Shin Malphur?" I spoke, knowing he'd be worried about the man with the golden gun.

"Him? He wouldn't stand a chance against you." He smiled, and suddenly the world felt a little less dark.

"Thanks, Drifter." I spoke, standing up and his arm fell off my shoulder.

"Hey, what happened to the name?" He spoke with a bit of mock offense as he looked up at me.

"Saved for special occasions, remember?" I snickered and the man cackled.

"Its been 4 centuries, thought you forgot about that!" He laughed.

"Nope, see you around, Dredgen't." I smirked as he laughed again, and walked backwards before tripping.

Drifter's rough laughter continued to get louder as he approached me. "I hope to see you in Gambit." He said, pulling me up, and patting my shoulder as he walked up the stairs back into the annex proper.

I shook my head, a smile on my face. I had at least one friend left, at least.

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Once I heard the news of the return I found myself tripping as I ran to the hangar as fast as possible. The large man saw me jump from the stairs.

"Saint!" I shouted, and the exo laughed happily.

"It is good to see you, friend!" He said as he absorbed the impact of my body slamming into his in a hug.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner, I was off planet."

"It's quite alright, as long as there's one familiar face in this tower." He sounded prideful, happy to know me, and then his head turned. "Guardian!"

It was the young wolf, the vanguard's dog. I would feel bad for them being overworked, if they weren't barely a person. They were one of the guardians who snitched on Drifter, along with their refusal to avenge Cayde. I'm sure the way they clung to the vanguard made even Zavala uncomfortable, let alone Ikora.

"This is the guardian I would speak about, my savior." Saint flourished, showing them off to me.

My jaw tightened, "That's wonderful Saint." I knew he immediately noticed something was wrong. I felt sick, I regarded whoever saved my friend very highly for the longest time, but not anymore. "Thank you for saving one of my friends." I unintentionally spoke with venom referring to what happened a year ago.

I could tell Saint was beginning to become frustrated, with whom I'm unsure. The godslayer was unphased by my words.

"What are you referring to, my friend?" Saint was speaking less cheerfully.

"I don't want to talk about it, you just got back home, Saint. Settle in and call me in a few days, okay?" I knew he couldn't see my face, so I pretended to smile at him. "It's good to see you back."

And with that, I walked out.

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I went straight to the annex, straight to Drifter. My anger bubbling up and out at the sight of him. It was a familiar warm feeling, and it filled me with guilt.

"Hey." Drifter walked up to me where I stopped, speaking so soft that it caught me by surprise.

"Eli..." My voice cracked, I felt guilty. I wanted his support.

The man sighed pulling me into his arms, and I felt us transmat. It wasn't cold so it couldn't have been the derelict. It was when we were sat onto a couch that I realized he transmatted us to my apartment.

"What's going on." I felt the rumble of his voice in his chest, it felt soothing.

But I froze and stiffened up, "I feel so guilty, Eli." I held back tears, "It's only been a year, yet it's been so long. I miss him-"

"Darlin', breathe." Eli pulled my head away from his chest, looking at me. "Start from the beginning, what happened when you got back today?"

I took a deep breath, "I got back and reported to Zavala, and he told me Saint returned while I was gone."

"Ah, I heard he was around again." He spoke, running his fingers across my back.

"Mhm. So, I went to see him, he hugged me and he was excited to see me." I gestured with my hands and drifter nodded, gripping me a little tighter, "and then, the young wolf showed up- and I've known saint for years, I know his stories- he was saved on Mercury by a guardian from the future."

"Let me guess, that guardian is the the god killer." Drifter spoke and I nodded.

"He greeted them so happily... And when I came to you I was so angry. They saved Saint, but didn't even bring Cayde's killers to justice." I sighed, "But, when I saw you I just... Stopped being angry."

Drifter hummed for me to continue, "I'm listenin'."

"I feel so guilty... I cared so much about Cayde, I loved him for centuries, and all I got out of that was a year with him and he was taken from me. It's only been a year... Why do I care for you so much?" I felt Drifter stop in surprise, he could tell what I meant.

"There's nothing wrong for having room for someone else, you're not replacing him, just like you didn't replace Andal." He spoke calmly, mellow.

"I know-"

"It's okay if you aren't ready, darlin', I'll be here no matter what." With the words he spoke I knew he was pushing aside many of his beliefs in understanding.

"What happened to a 'no more close relationships' mentality?" I asked.

"We were already close, and you needed someone who understands." He said, looking me in the eyes.

I sighed, "Thank you, and I'm sure you'll understand that I need time." He nodded at my words, "and that also means time away from you." I could tell he was surprised but he nodded.

"I won't do much good makin' you feel guilty all the time, if you need me I'll be around." He spoke, getting up.

There was more he wanted to say, I could tell. I called his name to grasp his attention, his real name.

"Yeah?" He asked, and I grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"I'll get back to you, I promise." I spoke with a faint smile, and he smiled back.

"I know you will." With him squeezing my hand he transmatted away with a genuine smile.

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"So you are telling me... You avenged Cayde, after the vanguard would not?" Saint asked, and after I nodded he spoke again "and you had been seeing him at the time of his death."

"Yes."

"But now you are seeing The Drifter?"

"It's complicated, like yours and Osiris' relationship almost."

"Ah, I understand." Saint thought for a moment, "What about you and Andal Brask?"

"I disappeared before he could tell me, and before I could tell him, and before Cayde could tell me." I sighed, "The three of us were so complicated."

"Give your heart a break, my friend."

"I will."

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I walked down the steps of my ship, holding back sobs with my ghost in my hands, my foot begging to rest, and a dark fog filling my vision. I could faintly see a purple glow surrounded by light from where I was.

"Saint!" Even my yells were soft.

"My friend!" The large exo soon filled my small window of vision before it went black. "Do not worry, you're safe." And the sensation of being caught were the last things I felt.

Then, "The ghost shell is unfixable. I've asked everyone who'd be able to fix it in the tower." was what I heard when I came to.

"It was a gift from Cayde, give me the parts."

"What's going on?" I asked, trying to sit up.

"Nope, nuh uh, lay your ass back down." It was Drifter, and he'd walked around the couch to push me back down.

"Your ghost is in Ikora's care." The other voice spoke, Saint, who adjusted my body to sit upright against the arm of the couch.

"He's okay?" I asked, feeling relieved seeing the Titan nod. "What about his shell? I heard you talking about it.

Then Eli uncovered the metal in his hands, and I felt my heart break. "I can fix it, some of the parts need replacement though."

I held my hands out for the pieces, and as Drifter softly placed them in my hands I felt tears begin to form behind my eyes.

"Cayde made it for me himself... Every little bit perfectly sentimental." I held my breath to keep from sobbing, "He... Carved, soldered, measured, and painted every piece with me in mind." I finally cracked, "and.. Now it's gone..." I cried out, my entire body shaking.

Heavy arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders, the Titan was unarmored, his clothes soft. It was distracting, and the hand that placed itself on my back was soothing. I sobbed into the shoulder of my friend who'd just saved my life.

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We had been on Europa for a while now, I had been learning how to use the darkness against Eramiskell. It was odd fighting Eliksni after the time I spent teaching their hatchlings and caring for them.

But the moment I finally became one with the darkness I quickly made my way to the camp. Eli was waiting for me.

I had barely made it off my sparrow when I was wrapped up in the arms of the rogue lightbearer.

"You proved 'em all wrong!" He laughed and spun me around, it was the most excited I'd seen him in a long time.

I laughed along with him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. My heart swelled as he held me up, looking up at me in pure joy.

"Well that was... Unexpected." Elsie said, making Drifter remember we were not alone, putting me down.

"It's not surprising." Eris spoke, I was positive she found it hilarious.

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It was Uldren. Uldren Sov stood before me, as a guardian. I wanted to stop, I wanted to think. I didn't hesitate to hit him, to slam him onto the ground. He was screaming, but I kept hitting him. He kept healing with the light he didn't deserve, so I kept hitting him. I could hear his last words echo in my head.

And then I was pulled off of him. My hand going to malfeasance at my hip, shooting him in the head. He died on the spot.

The guardian who pulled me off was that of the young wolf. My knife stuck into their throat immediately, and they were rezzed only a moment later. Within that moment, the ace of spades was in my face.

"You don't deserve to hold Ace in your hands." I scoffed, my voice hoarse.

They spoke not a word. The echos of Uldren's final words were fully realized. Cayde wouldn't have wanted this for me, I know. I've fallen too far to go back now.

"Go ahead. Shoot me." I stood unyielding in front of the tower's hero. "I know when I stand in the wrong, and I know when I stand in the right."

"Why did you attack me?" The guardian who's born from uldren sov's corpse spoke.

"Why did you attack me?" The guardian who's born from uldren sov's corpse spoke.

"Because you should've stayed dead where I left you. You wield light because you took someone else's." I watched his face contort negatively, "I hope you learn the truth of what happened, you may have others' forgiveness but you will never have mine." I spoke, and saw a familiar face transmat into the helm.

I looked to my hand tight on malfeasance, a red string tied to it; I looked to my friend, beautiful purple ribbons tied to his armor, one given from me. I didn't need to turn around to know my dead lover's gun was still trained on my head.

"I've been asked to escort you to Zavala." The exo's voice was almost uncharacteristic for him, id hurt him too.

Before I could speak, I was silenced by the hand cannon Cayde used to hold. When I was revived I saw my friend holding the arm that held Ace high above their head, I could see the 'hero' pull their arm away. There was a bullet hole in the ceiling, and the Ace was on the ground.

"He wanted you to use it right. He trusted you." I seethed, picking up the precious hand cannon.

The shape the gun was in was almost of the way it was in Uldren's hand. They'd mistreated it, they mistreated Ace. I could feel my anger towards them bubble, but we were soon transmatted into Zavala's office. Along with the commander stood Ikora, who's distraught expression was clear.

"I'm sorry, Ikora." Was the first thing I spoke, and she nodded.

"So I'm told, you attack the Crow, killing him, before killing our guardian? That is entirely against conduct." Zavala started, but soon noticed that the one being restrained was not myself.

"They had long stopped fighting, when your hero killed my friend." Saint choosing a side had shown his loyalties, he believed me.

"What happened." Ikora spoke, and the young wolf's ghost appeared to start speaking, "I did not ask you."

"I met the Crow, and before I had thought about it, I attacked him. I am aware it was wrong, he cannot possibly know what he has done. The face of the man who killed my vanguard, my cayde, stood in front of me after I killed him two years ago." I stopped, and pointed at the young wolf, "When this guardian defended him, after everything they have done, I only used instinct to kill them both." I looked to Saint to tell them the truth.

"When I arrived, my friend was only speaking to Crow, unthreateningly. When they were perfectly complying," Saint stopped and cleared his throat, "Your hero attempted to permanently kill my friend. Your friend."

Clearly the vanguard was in shock. They stood in silence for a long while, Zavala had realized the monster he'd created unintentionally. It took him long enough.

"I have no reason to distrust you or Saint-14." The commander sounded imposting, strong, "Speak Guardian." He stared straight through the young wolf.

"The ex-commander has put the tower in danger by stopping me." Their voice was gruff, unused since their demise long before their revival, "Their judgement is clouded by a death, they are surrounded by death every day. Guardians should not mourn, they should not seek revenge. Exo's are easily reset, putting him back together would only take a few days, yet you follow the will of a guardian who practically committed suicide."

"You are no guardian." Ikora spat.

"They hold the darkness, I've only ever followed the traveler's will." The young wolf continued to defend themself.

"On the account of your inaction to protect the sol system, we sent our most trusted guardian."

"The one having an affair with the Drifter? Lived in with ketch of eliksni for 2 centuries? Went against the vanguard to kill for revenge?"

Saint had long joined my side, his hand tightly on my shoulder. Sympathy. I had long left being plainly angry. Drifter loved me. The Eliksni loved me. Cayde loved me.

"Enough." Zavala spoke, then looked to me, "Patrols with Shaw Han on planet for the next 2 weeks."

"I'm glad someone agrees he's insufferable, but I take the punishment."

"And, a verbal apology to crow." I sighed at what Zavala said.

"He deserves it, I know." I nodded, trying to be the bigger person.

"I'll come with you." Saint said, and I nodded.

"Thanks, big guy."

"You're dismissed." Zavala sighed out, and before I left I quickly decided to hug the vanguard.

"I'll see you around big blue, 'kora." I hugged the warlock a moment after, and then transmatted away.

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"They. What." Drifter's voice was a dead giveaway on how pissed off he was.

"I'm not sure why they did it, their reasoning was... Bad." I sighed, "They firmly believe I'm a threat against the tower."

"So they tried to kill you with his gun?" He asked, and I pulled Ace out.

"I'm keeping it this time." I looked at him, and he was clearly uncomfortable. "I know you didn't like him, but he was there for me. Just like you were. And I love him."

"I know."

"I love you." I whispered, and I saw him look at me for a second.

"Did you say somethin'?"

"Drifter," I took his hand, placing malfeasance into it and putting my hand on top, the deep red string contrasting against everything else, "I love you." I watched his gaze flash between the gun in our hands and myself.

"You... What?" He wasn't being cocky.

"Eli. I'm serious." I huffed, "I love you, all of you." I ran my thumb on his cheek.

"Do you know who I am?"

"To me or to everyone else?" I asked back, "because while everyone else sees you as the drifter, the man without a name, a liar and a snake; I see you as a man who has been hurt and hurt others because of it, you may not say you have a name, you might not believe you're worth an ounce of time, but you do and you are.

"You love old recipes from pre-dark age cookbooks, to make them as they are and to change them to make them better; you love a fair fight, where it's hard to tell who will win or loose; you like to dance, but not by yourself, sometimes you'll even hum whatever song is stuck in your head that day; you enjoy hosting gambit, but you hate how fast some of the guardians wipe out the enemies you bring in.
You hate the cold, and the feeling of being hungry; You hate the light and feel unworthy; you hate sitting too close to a fire because it feels like it burns your skin; you don't like when nobody gets your jokes or references, hoping at least someone would understand even if it's as obscure as some can be. And that's only some things."

"Turns out you know more than I thought." He spoke, somewhat surprised.

"You've waited this long, why aren't you taking it. I'm yours, Eli." He took a long moment to analyze if I was lying.

Then he sighed in relief, leaning against me, "Mine?"

"From this day forward until forever." I smiled softly at him.

"Oh, I love you." He muttered, taking the hand cannon from my hands and putting into the holster at my hip.

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About 100 or so years ago, I loved a man named Andal Brask. He knew someone else loved me then, but he did too. I kissed him the night before I disappeared, he was murdered a year later. We left the person who loved us most, all the complicated feelings left to fester and fizzle away.

My house dropped me in the EDZ and I found the first guardian I could.

"Hello?" The warlock I found jumped.

"Hey!" She cheerfully acknowledged me, and I was thankful.

"I need to be taken to the tower, I don't have a ship." I spoke and she nodded pulling out her ghost.

"Hey, guys, there's a hunter who needs to be taken to the tower, I'll be back." As she spoke we transmatted to her ship, and she turned to me, "Got a name, sweetheart? You a new light?" She was very kind, but my nose scrunched.

I told her my name and spoke further, "Sorry, not a new light. I've been a guardian much longer than you have."

She nodded, "I've never seen you around," she then turned to her ghost, who took note of what she wanted, "my name is Jessie."

"Thank you, Jessie, I'm sure the Vanguard will reward you for this." I smiled at her, forgetting my helmet was on.

She giggled, and we transmatted off the ship. It looked different, and I sighed looking around. A figure caught my eye, and I took my helmet off to take a better look.

When I returned to the tower I expected Andal Brask to greet his hunter. I was instead greeted by Cayde-6, in a modified version Andal's armor and his cloak.

"Cayde?!" I excitedly shouted, jumping down the platform.

He stood in shock, until my body full force slammed into him and his arms wrapped around me tightly. His laughter was of pure joy, he was so happy. He pulled away to look at my face closely.

"You're alive." Cayde's voice was filled with relief.

"I am, but where's Andal?" I asked, and I saw his expression drop before he put up his facade.

"Taniks got to him, I had to take the job." He brushed it off, but I knew we'd have to talk about it eventually.

"You're the hunter vanguard?" I stifled a laugh, and he laughed.

"I know right?! Totally not my thing." He seemed happy I kept with the subject, so we stayed with the joyful atmosphere.

"I promised a good pay for bringing me back to the tower, she was very sweet." I spoke, and he laughed.

"Let's go talk to Zavala and Ikora." He put his arm around my shoulder, leading me to the other side of the courtyard.

"Wonderful..." I sighed, and he laughed again. It was pure joy to hear him again.

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"Is that a Fallen house symbol on the back of your neck?" Cayde asked, running his hand over it.

"I- well..." I sighed, leaning forward into the exo's shoulder, "My... The house that took me was being formed from Eliksni unhappy with the house of dusk, so they split off and took me with them. My ghost was kept away from me, and eventually they grew accustomed to me and started to like me.
"They let me teach the hatchlings, and they taught me. They let me come home because they were worried, they wanted me to find the people I loved. I'm proud to be in their house, even if I'm a guardian." I suddenly felt very exposed, even though I hadn't moments ago with my shirt off.

Cayde hummed, running his right hand across my neck, along the symbol ingrained into my skin. He lifted my head and looked into my eyes, "At least they loved you and brought you home." His left hand ran through my hair.

"To you?"

"To me."

I started to giggle a little, then remembered what I expected at the tower.

"I was expecting Andal... when I arrived." I told him.

"Were you disappointed, Hearts?" His tone was playful yet I was aware of what he was saying.

"No, I'm glad it was you. I miss him sometimes, and I miss Drifter too, but you?" I sighed, "You loved me despite them."

Without further words Cayde pulled my face towards his, and I kissed him full force. All I felt was the blazing solar light that radiated from him spreading and burning through the deep void light I held as my own and I loved every second. The urge to feel all of him and his light bubbled through me and overflowed. He was all that mattered, and I was all that mattered to him. It was only us.

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Was it bad to make out with your vanguard on duty? I was returning a bounty report and Andal Brask had pulled me into an alley of the tower, he kissed me, and it was all I wanted to do.

"Andal," I spoke to the tall hunter, who stared into my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry-" He backed up, and I grabbed the front of his cloak.

"Andal." I laughed, "You should've just asked." I muttered, pulling the man into a kiss.

His arm wrapped behind me and around my waist. Andal smiled into the kiss as he gently pressed me against his chest.

He pulled back, "I want you to know I don't want to loose you, I know the others are mad at me, especially Cayde, and I want him to know that too." He was talking about how he'd become more serious as vanguard recently and our team had been upset.

"He'll forgive you." I smiled.

I didn't know that would be the last time I ever saw him. He blamed himself. Cayde blamed him, but forgave him. Although, too late.

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Waking up next to an exo covered in lipstick stains often left me confused until I remembered why I did it. Cayde peacefully slept with his arm wrapped around my waist, tucking me into himself under the blankets. He was surprisingly comfortable for an exo, and looking up to see his body covered in dark smudged lipstick stains filled me with joy. I reached up to hold his face in my hand and he shuffled. A hum left his throat as I saw his optics light up.

"Hi, sweetheart." It was funny that exos could have a morning voice, even their mechanical voice needed to warm up.

"Hey..." I softly looked at him and he used his thumbs to draw shapes on my back and sides.

"You have something riiiight..." He trailed one of his fingers to my shoulder and pressed down, "there."

I flinched, "Cayde!" I hissed, pushing away from the exo who was holding me against him, laughing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't do that again I promise." He continued laughing.

"You have to pinky promise because it's the only way you keep your word." I spoke, sticking out my pinky in front of him.

"Okay, sweetheart." He intertwined our pinkies, "I promise."

I smiled at this, "Good, although, since you did that I'm not telling you where all the lipstick stains are."

"You used the waterproof one didn't you." Cayde asked and I laughed.

"You wanted it." I spoke.

Cayde leaned forward, "You're right, I want everyone to know that I am yours." he bit right under my chin, "and that you, Hearts, are mine."

My heart fluttered, "That was so unfair." I pushed his head away from mine.

He brushed my hair away from my face and stared at me instead of responding. Two hunters laying in bed together, enjoying each other's company, covered in hickeys and lipstick marks.

Chapter Text

When I walked into the hangar to visit Cayde I saw a fireteam speaking with him. As I got closer I started to hear the conversation, which was hilarious.

"Yeah, it's right here." The titan pointed to his chin, mirroring where I left a lipstick mark on Cayde.

Before he responded he turned his head to me, further showing at least 2 more smudges on his neck beneath the other.

"Take your helmet off." He huffed, and I laughed, doing asked asked.

"Yes, my vanguard." I pulled my helmet off as I spoke, revealing a few stray bruises around the top of my neck uncovered by my undersuit.

"OHHH THE RUMORS WERE TRUE?!" One of the warlocks yelled, and their other warlock started laughing hysterically.

"Of course they were, dipshit! Almost everyone at the tower has seen them together." The hunter laughed as he spoke.

"I didn't know!" The warlock groaned.

"Hey, hey, don't tell anyone you got told from us, alright?" Cayde spoke and I tried not to laugh.

"Yeah, we wanna see Zavala's head get talked off with the rumors first." I smiled.

"That's genius." The titan laughed loudly as he spoke.

"Good luck once he snaps." The other warlock spoke, and the fireteam said their goodbyes.

"We're gonna need a lot of luck if he sees these." I spoke, running my finger along the 3 smudges on his neck and chin.

"Where's the fun in that?" Cayde was being smug, "I think you should go talk to him, after tonight." As he spoke he leaned in really close.

"Oh yeah, make it worse and send me." I laughed.

Chapter Text

The next morning I was being lectured by Zavala. It truthfully wasn't what Cayde planned, he hadnt wanted to get caught.

"Okay, okay, I get it. Not a very good example, but Cay-" I stopped, Zavala hadn't mentioned it yet.

"What about Cayde?" He asked, and I laughed nervously.

"Nothing, nothing! My ghost is just not healing them, he's inactive quite often." I shrugged, trying to play it off.

Zavala hummed, "Ikora has already told me, along with hundreds of guardians."

"I promise I'm telling the truth about my ghost."

"I know you are." He smiled, "If you have the makeup to leave on your vanguard, you have the makeup to cover what he leaves on you." I felt the essence of Ikora in that sentence, they hang out more than they admit.

"Yes, commander." I spoke, waving to him and walking away.

Chapter Text

"It was a disaster." I sighed to the exo, who was dabbing concealer I bought in the city on my neck and chin.

"Big blue or the citizens?" He asked playfully.

"Both." I groaned.

"Him and Ikora knew?"

"Of course they did, you can tell they hang out more than they let on, I'm positive Ikora told him." I sighed, "I wish my ghost would just heal me."

"Your ghost won't heal you?"

"He's still upset, I never tried to get him back until I felt my light go away."

Chapter Text

"Andal Brask didn't stop searching for you, it inevitably lead to his death." Zavala told me solemnly.

"He was murdered by Taniks." I sighed, and the awoken did the same.

"He truly loved you, and he loved Cayde too. All his trust went into the two of you." He huffed, "More than what went into his fireteam." That struck a cord, although he didn't mean to.

"With all due respect, Zavala, we were his fireteam." I spoke and he nodded.

"He would agree, he cared very much for his vanguard duties but nothing compared to his family." Zavala was gentle on the subject. "I know Cayde won't tell you this, he was struck the worst with his death, even more so because of your disappearance."

I nodded.

Chapter Text

I'd been called to the Eliksni quarter of the last city, excitement pumping through my veins. As I transmatted in I saw their Kell, Misraaks.

"Misraakskel!" I happily spoke, and the tall Eliksni looked to me.

"Hunter, it is... Good to see you."

"Likewise, but you called me here for a reason didn't you?" I asked.

"I did not call for you, these Eliksni did." He gestured behind me, and as I turned I saw some very familiar faces.

I very giddily ran right to the tall Eliksni, "Welcome to House Light, Evaanis." the baron happily took my embrace, lifting me easily with his four arms as I spoke Eliksni.

"We are happy to be protected." He spoke.

"Where is Vyskkrinkel?" I asked, not seeing the kell.

"He is dead." Misraaks spoke, and I nodded.

"He... Never really liked me anyway." I mostly shrugged it off.

"Come, there is much to talk about." Misraaks led us away.

Once everyone had gone, I took a good look at the kell of light. It was good to see him... better. "It truly is a treat to see you again, Misraakskel." I spoke to the Eliksni.

"You need not to call me your Kell, my- hunter." I could hear his fumble for words.

"Are we equals Misraaks?"

"You are my friend, are you not?" The Kell looked to me and I laughed.

"You're right." I smiled, my helmet having been taken off.

I had remembered that I was the first in the tower to trust the Kell, and one who fought the hardest against the ones opposed to his house being in the city.

"Thank you, guardian." Mithrax spoke sincerely.

"You have no need to thank me, Misraaks." I smiled, "I want the Eliksni safe."

"You are the only one of your people who speaks my name properly." He spoke, shaking his head making me laugh, his own laughter beginning.

"I don't understand why it's not easy to say." I laughed, then in my most serious old American accent spoke again, "Mithrax."

"That was terrible, my friend." He spoke uncomfortably, and laughed.

Chapter Text

"We're you flirting with the Eliksni Kell, darlin?" Drifter asked as I walked into his corner of the annex, he was cleaning up for the night.

"Hmm, no." I laughed, "Misraaks is just a friend, he's given refuge to my house so I'm grateful."

"Your house?" Drifter's question made me feel like I was dipped in freezing water.

"Oh- uh-"

"Darlin' what do you mean, your house?"

"I lived with an Eliksni house, you know that."

"You were kidnapped."

"Eli." I wanted him to stop, and he did, "Vyskkrin, their Kell, is dead; he is who kidnapped me. Evaanis, is highest ranking Baron, who allowed me freedom within the ketch, and to leave."

Eli hummed, "I'm guessin this Baron is a friend of yours."

"I thought you weren't the jealous type, Drifter."

"You must got me all wrong then." He spoke, leaning over me.

Due to his closeness it was entirely too easy to just grab his neck and pull him closer, pressing his lips against mine harshly. He let out a sound I was positive was accidental, as he let out a scoffing laugh at himself while I cracked a smile into his lips.

"You're mine." He whispered in my ear, and I got chills.

"Am I?" I teased, which very quickly caused Drifter to lift me onto the table behind me.

He stood in between my legs as they hung off the edge, his hands on my hips. I hummed softly, running my hand up his neck and the back of his head. I pulled his headband-bandana off, and he let out a chuckle as I placed it next to me.

"I'd say so," He rasped, leaning into my ear, "based on how you're reacting, sweetheart." As the last word drawled from his mouth I flinched away, my hands flying away from his face to catch myself.

Tears brimmed my eyes, and I felt dirty. I was trapped, I wanted to throw up everything I'd ever eaten. Drifter's face twisted into something I couldn't define, he looked more than simply upset.

"I love you, Hearts." His voice echoed in my head, unrelenting, "Mornin', sweetheart." it pounded against my skull. It was overwhelming, I couldn't breathe.

"Darlin'?" Drifter's voice cracked out, calling my attention... Wait-

"Drifter?" I whispered, and hearing my voice he steeled back up, returning the space between us.

"You can leave." I could see him almost fall apart right there, I made that mistake once. Leaving him. "I know what you're going to say, you can go to Saint, or Mithrax, or who the hell ever you want to talk about this. Get out, and don't ever come back." He crossed his arms, his mind was made.

And without a word I walked out of the annex, guilt filling my entire being, weighing every step I took down. I made my way to the hangar, hoping Saint would be awake well past 2am. Relief filled me as I saw the man sitting on the steps to his ship, and as he saw me he stood.

"Come in, my friend."

Chapter Text

Saint's hospitality wasn't left unacknowledged, I had told him how grateful I was too many times to count.

"Please, stop thanking me. I was hoping you would stop by after your trials runs..." He sighed, "I did not expect you to be so emotionally hurt when you stopped by."

"Saint, it's 2:40am." I spoke and he huffed.

"Does not matter, tell me what is wrong."

"He called me sweetheart." I almost cried thinking about it.

"There is nothing wrong with that, is there?" The look I gave him made him realize quite quickly. "Oh, it is what Cayde called you, isn't it."

"He had a fascination with calling me something to do with hearts: his ace of hearts, his hearts, his sweetheart, his heart." I rambled, tears starting to fill my eyes, "and Drifter just, called me sweetheart and it felt so wrong... And he got upset and made me leave."

Saint let out a grumble, "I will deal with him."

"What?" I asked in bewilderment.

"I will deal with the rat stomping on your heart." The sweet man sounded furious.

"Saint-"

"He knows it is a sensitive subject, I'm sure you've told him what Uldren said to you." I sighed at him being right, "The Drifter knows how long it took you to accept your feelings, and he knows you feel guilt." Saint had been quite close, his hands gently on my shoulders as he towered above. "He needs to accept that there will always be a place reserved in your heart for a love lost." He was beginning to speak from experience, that much I could tell.

Chapter Text

The double date myself and Saint had set up for himself, Osiris, Andal, and myself... Had been a disaster. I ended up alone with Saint, as Osiris blew us off for work, and Andal blew us off because... Well, he forgot and went to get dinner and drinks with Cayde and the others instead.

I heard that Cayde had asked about me and that was how Andal remembered, but by the time he had he'd already downed 2 drinks on a dare. By the time I'd called he was at five, two more because he was upset with himself, and another because Shiro didn't want his.

"So, um. Saint..." I nervously looked at him from across the table, and he burst into laughter.

"Would you like to go on with the date?" I asked, and he slowed his laughter.

"With a guardian like you? Absolutely."

At his words I cracked a smile, the greatest Titan who ever lived still wanted to continue the double date after our dates ditched us. The exo didn't look bad either, he was dressed quite nicely. He had a white tight-knit sweater that defined his chest and arms, and deep purple pants; black combat boots on his feet, and a sweet silver chain around his neck. I had to admit he was attractive, but he belonged to Osiris... Sort of.

"You look quite nice, hunter." Saint spoke happily.

"Thank you, so do you." I smiled, internally thinking of buying him a ring or two to go with his outfit.

During dinner Saint spilled something on his pristine white sweater, and I had only just noticed it as we walked towards a fountain in the city.

"Oh Saint, you got a stain on your sweater..." As I said that he looked down, and he shook his head.

"It can be washed."

"Saint it's bright red!" I laughed

"If it turns pink I will still wear it proudly." I could he the smile in his voice.

"You could give it to me, I know how to fix it." I smiled, and he nodded.

"I will."

Chapter Text

Waking up in the grey pidgeon left me confused, until I noticed the large exo sitting crookedly a few feet away, asleep. His helmet was off, and I smiled. I'd remembered something from quite long ago, and decided to surprise him.

It was time to get those rings and give his sweater back. Even though it had been a few hundred years since that double date turned date.

I had visited the city, looking for high quality rings, but ending up buying them from an Eliksni in the Eliksni quarter. I'd gotten three rings, in the sizes I had not entirely secretly asked Geppetto for; one was purple, and two silver–one being plain, the other having a purple crystal embedded in it. I'd traded a fairly good knife and an offer to customize the Eliksni's rebreather for them. She happily accepted, and I received a day for us to hang out.

As I entered my apartment again, I put the box of rings down, and grabbed the pristine white sweater from where it was drying. I opened the larger box, folding the sweater in, and placing the smaller box on top; then closing it all together and tying it with a lavender purple ribbon.

Chapter Text

Much like previous times I'd gone to visit Saint, I tripped on the final stairs. The noise catching the Titan's attention, he watched as I walked over.

"My friend! You worried me, I woke up at 5 and you were gone."

I sighed, looking at how it was sunset out, "Sorry, I was... Busy, running all over the city... and the tower for this." I spoke, lifting the box slightly.

"Is that a gift, for me?" He asked, "If it is for speaking with The Drifter, I cannot accept it." Saint pushed the box away and I laughed.

"It's not, it's a gift I meant to give you a long time ago." I smiled, and he took it.

I watched him carefully pull the fabric ribbon out of it's knot, softly setting the box down.

"Would you?" He gestured to the purple fabric in his hand and I smiled, taking it in my hands.

Instead of putting it with the rest, I took his hand, lifting it to my eye level. I lightly wrapped the ribbon around in a criss-cross pattern along his forearm starting from his wrist; the spikes along his armor helping it stay in place. I smiled up at the tall exo, who, I'm sure was smiling back. Saint looked back down to the box, picking it back up to begin opening it. He stopped before, looking at me again.

"Shall we go inside?" He asked, gesturing go his ship.

"We shall." I jokingly agreed and the Titan laughed as we walked inside.

Once inside, Saint placed the box down on a table in the more living quarters part of the pidgeon. He sat down, taking his helm off, and I sat near him. He smiled at me again before taking the box in his hands.

"So I can properly express my gratitude." He spoke and I smiled. Saint then opened the box, revealing the sweater and smaller box inside. "Is this?" He asked, gently pulling the sweater from the box, looking at the pristine front.

"I promised I would fix it." I softly laughed at his reaction.

"And you did, thank you." Saint spoke, and I stopped him.

"Don't thank me yet, there's more." I laughed again, stupidly happy, however beginning to feel nervous about if he'd like the gift.

Saint revealed the 3 rings, all perfectly sized and properly fixed to be able to be worn by an Exo by myself. His jaw dropped as he picked up the deep purple ring that shined just right in the light.

"They are beautiful, what are they made of?"

"Some alloy and heavy metal from out of system, it was just perfect." I smiled, "I've wanted to get you the perfect rings since that date, your outfit was just missing a little more flair."

Saint laughed at that, "Thank you, your kindness means very much to me." He took a second, "Would you like to go down to the city with me again?" He asked.

"Like a date?" I questioned.

"Yes, like a date." He chuckled.

"I'd love to." I smiled and he did so back.

Chapter Text

The Eliksni I had traded with for Saint's rings and I had finally reached the date where we would hang out, and she happily brought along her friend, Eido.

It hadn't entirely occurred to me that Eido was the same Eido as Misraaks' daughter, and that he had the possibility of walking into me painting on her face.

"Guardian, what are you doing?" The Light Kell sounded bewildered at the sight of two Eliksni and a guardian sat outside, one having a bright pink rebreather on her face, the other partially magenta.

"Oh! Misraaks-" I began.

"Are you endangering my daughter?" He asked, and I choked–both at his words and his tone.

"No, Misraaks, I would never endanger these Eliksni, let alone the house scribe." I cursed at myself, "I offered to customize their rebreathers with a trade, although Eido was not originally in my plans her friend brought her along."

"Look, father, it is your favorite color!" I could hear the smile in her voice, and Mithrax softened.

"I am sorry, what you do is kind, my friend. Thank you for including my daughter."

Chapter Text

The fireteam speaking with the Drifter froze, seeing the legendary Saint-14 inside the annex was... Wrong. Something was wrong. It was early enough for them to be some of the very few awake, but the large group quickly walked out, one of them accidentally bumping into Saint.

"Sorry!" The warlock spoke.

"It is alright, guardian." Saint nodded his head.

A faint, "Dude you have got to stop letting your brain do the cha cha." Was heard as the group walked away, and loud laughter echoed behind them.

"I've come to speak with you, on personal matters."

"Whatever vendetta you got against me, you better get in line."

"This is not about me."

Drifter stood a little straighter at that.

"Your guardian has pushed many of their boundaries to be with you, to let you in and love you like they did with Cayde-6." Drifter could hear the tone change in the Titan's voice from how he spoke previously as the former stepped closer, "You know where the soft spots are, you should not step on them." He seethed, yet kept a normal volume, "They will forgive you, I know, but I would give anything to be in your place. They love you as much as they do him, and they are fighting against double their weight in guilt to love you. Do not forsake that."

"Already did." Drifter scowled, "Told 'em to get lost." He was quickly grabbed by the collar and slammed against the railing.

The Drifter, while afraid of the Titan, did not draw a weapon against him. He wouldn't kill him.

"If you love them as much as they have told me, you will fix this." Saint spoke lowly, in a tone very few lived to remember.

Before Drifter had even gotten the chance to speak again, Saint had let him go and left the Annex. The Drifter was left alone to his thoughts, and they were not pleasant.

Chapter Text

It had been a week since I'd... Broken up? with Drifter. He hasnt't tried to contact me, and I put no effort to contact him. I knew well enough to not invade his space when he is angry, no matter how much I wanted to go and apologize. Saint had said at least a hundred times how I wasn't at fault, that he'd overreacted and should apologize first. I agreed, for the most part; if it took him too long to say something, I'd go speak to him first.

Although it hurt, I'd begun to hang around Saint, Mithrax, and surprisingly Shaxx more. I'd started to play more trials and cruicible, seeing as gambit was off the table. Mithrax also enjoyed the help around the district I provided, along with the companionship as I often followed him around to bounce ideas off of.
He'd said "I'm grateful to have a guardian with so much knowledge of our people here with me." Once.

I smiled at the memory as I walked up to the grey pidgeon, seeing a very familiar warlock speaking to Saint. I remembered the last time I saw him was at Cayde's public service, him and his clan members came and talked to me. The two were talking about Drifter.

"Hey." I called their attention.

"Ah, you're just on time." Saint smiled, he'd had his helm off.

"I'm guessing you're just as surprised again?" I lightly made fun of the warlock, a surprisingly soft light on the memory.

"Something about his brain doing the 'cha cha'?" Saint said and I burst into laughter.

"I can't even catch a break with you guys!" He groaned.

"Sorry Donovan," I laughed, "We'll talk another time, yeah? Bring your team, we have to discuss those plans we made." I smiled.

"Okay!" Was the last thing I heard before Saint and I transmatted.

I let out a laugh, stumbling a little as we landed on our feet, "What was that cha cha comment?"

"It was something his fireteam member commented towards him after he bumped into me." Saint said with an amused smile on his face.

I laughed, then took a moment to just notice that Saint was just observing me. We'd transmatted a little ways away from the city proper, to enjoy a bit of silence. I took this moment to realize he was wearing the same outfit he had for our 'double' date, with the addition of the rings. He started to laugh when he saw I noticed.

"I see we had the same idea."

"Seems we did."

Chapter Text

Eli took a week and 3 days to reach out. He called me to the annex after hours, 3am. I decided to go, even though id been out with the hidden disciples all day.

"Drifter?" I'd called out, not seeing the man.

"Behind ya'." The man's voice filled me with joy to hear, and I turned to see him next to the entrance, leaning against the wall.

I let out a heavy exhale, "Eli..." I looked at him softly, although he couldn't see.

The Drifter slowly walked up to me, standing a few inches away. He reached up, taking the helmet off my head with practiced ease and placing it lightly on the floor. His gloved hand cupped my cheek, and he looked at me sweetly.

"I understand." Eli whispered, his own way of trying to apologize, "I didn't mean to react like that."

"And I didn't mean to hurt you, it was just a sensitive spot- I-"

"Darlin', darlin', I know." He softly spoke, digging his face into my shoulder, "'M sorry." It was barely hearable, but I understood.

"I forgive you." I sighed happily.

"Good, good..." His breath fanned against me as he sighed, "Saint-14 stopped by the other day... Thought he'd take you from me if I took much longer."

I nervously laughed, until my ghost appeared, and I froze. He never appeared unless something was wrong. "He did." The small light tech spoke.

Drifter's hold around my waist tightened. I shook my head at the ghost, glaring at him. I didn't think Drifter would believe him, but his efforts to ruin my relationship weren't unnoticed.

"We went on a date is all, as friends. My ghost is being unpleasant on purpose." I sighed out, and Drifter nodded.

"I believe you, hotshot."

Chapter Text

I sighed, leaning back on Saint's lap. The Titan chuckled, leaning back against his arms.

"I thought you loved Osiris."

"You have room in your heart for four, why cannot I have room for two?" He asked, and I hummed.

"I guess you're right."

"You guess?"

"It's not very fair." I laughed bitterly, choking up on my own tears.

"My- hunter, please don't cry." Saint said, sitting up, lifting me to do so with him.

"It was Drifter, than it was Cayde, then Andal, then you, then Andal again- and Cayde and then Drifter and you-" My throat tightened, "I miss them so much." I sobbed, holding my breath, "I don't want to take you from Osiris, and I have Drifter-"

"I will respect whatever you wish for." Saint whispered, "You are my friend first." His arms wrapped around me tight, comforting.

"I need some time." I muttered and he nodded.

"After tonight I will give you some space." He spoke, his accent rumbling through my back.

"That's good... That sounds good." I said, looking up to smile at his upside down face.

He was already looking at me, a soft smile shaped by his face plates. It made my heart beat a little harder.

Chapter Text

I started hanging out with Shaxx and Mithrax even more than before, seeing as there was a lot to think about. The light Kell gave great advice, and the ex-warlord was oddly good at listening. Which was exactly what he was doing now, actually.

While the man knew I was a hunter he had me do old boxing exercises while venting to him. It was oddly relaxing, and made me often wonder when he started doing it.

"And when he just went in guns a' blazing, I just lost it!" I almost shouted, throwing a hard right hook into Shaxx's hand.

"You're beginning to get distracted, guardian." Shaxx's voice made me look up at where his face would be. "Remember, anger into the punches not your voice."

I hit his hand hard enough for his shoulder to pop out of socket after that. The man laughed, rolling his shoulder back into place without his ghost.

"Good enough?" I asked, and he laughed even harder.

"Was that you being mad at your teammate or me for putting you with them?" He asked, heaving over with laughter.

"Goddamnit, Shaxx." I complained, giving way to the contagious laughter.

"That was a good hit, and you're not even a Titan!" He sounded proud.

"Think I could get the 50 kill streak you joked about?" I nudged the tall man jokingly.

"No." He laughed.

"Damn." I sighed before laughing again.

Chapter Text