Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The smell alone was enough to make the hairs on Jack’s arms stand on their ends.

Jack was barely in business for a month, and at least one kid had gone missing under his lack of a nose. He knew what that meant. He recognized the stench behind him. Old barbecue wings and the smell of maggot infestation…one alone wouldn’t bring Jack to the conclusion he’d come to, but both?

That had to be him.

“Why, hello there, old friend!”

Jack slowly turns to face him, his eyes narrowing in the dim light, trying to find...

Ah. There.

“Dave…” he says softly.

“I knew you’d come back! I knew that I’d find you!” Dave exclaims, throwing his arms up with a loud mechanical creak.

Jack nervously smiles as Dave steps closer, the putrid odors somehow getting worse.

“Dave…you l—”

Dave suddenly starts coughing up a lung. Literally.

“Dave—”

“—AHEM.” Dave literally says, “I…I’ve changed, Old Sport. They walled me up in that old room, thought “maybe I’ll be okay”, but somehow shit still got through the cracks. Turns out maggots fuckin’ love human eyeballs! Can’t see shit…step closer.”

Jack inhales sharply, stepping closer, less than a foot away from him now.

“Ah! There you are, Sportsy!” Dave smiles cartoonishly, gently putting his hands on Jack’s shoulders, “It’s been so long! I- I thought you were dead! But you’re here!”

Jack is silent for a moment, Dave’s grin slowly fading.

“I mean— I figured you kicked the bucket somehow, considering there was nothin’ from you for over 30 fuckin’ years, but you’re back! And you came back for me!” Dave scrambles to explain.

“What are you talking about?” Jack asks softly, taking his hands off him swiftly.

“I…you made that new Fazbenders, I saw it in the newspapers… “Bear.”, what a name! You made it so I’d be ready! I waited, Sportsy, and I was right. You’re here again and…” Dave trails.

“Dave…why are you here?”

“This is my home. Ever since I died the last time, I’ve just been here…aside from that horror attraction they dragged me to. It burned down for no fuckin’ reason! …so, I came back here.” Dave looks
around a bit, “Not bad for an aubergine man of my caliber…? Heheh…"

Jack pauses, gently placing his hand on Dave’s chest.

“This place is rotting.” he sighs.

“Yeah, a perfect bachelor pad! Don’t mind the fax, he won’t steal any of our food, on account of me ripping off his leg.” Dave smiles again.

“Wow…uh…you look…” Jack struggles to find words.

“I know. Don’t look too bad for a gal my age, do I?” Dave poses, putting his hand on his neck and the other on his hip sassily.

Jack smirks slightly at that, crossing his arms and looking up at the rotting rabbit thing.

There’s a long pause.

“When that horror gig burned, they auctioned off the shit that survived. Everything but me. They just couldn’t find a place…how familiar.” Dave suddenly brings up, “I knew that you’d come back, though…you always do.”

Dave puts his hands on Jack’s arms, pulling him slightly closer.

“Do you remember the good days, Sportsy?”

Jack’s tense as he’s now against Dave’s chest. It fucking reeks.

“Ah…uh…” he panics briefly but succumbs to his fate with a sigh.

Jack wraps his arms around Dave.

“Killin’ the kiddins…goin’ to Vegas…?” Dave continues.

“Of course I do…” Jack holds back a gag, realizing Dave’s intestines were against his own gut. “I-It’s been too long, Dave…”

“Let’s go home, Sportsy,”

“Home?” Jack asks.

“Take me back with you.”

“I missed you.” Jack puts his right hand against Dave’s zombie rabbit cheek, “C’mon, hop in the car.”

“REALLY?!” Dave exclaims, “OH SPORTSY! YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE! IF YOU DIDN’T, I’d… be glad you didn’t.”

Jack shakes his head, rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t. Go unlock the door.”

“Nah, I got a better idea.” Dave replies.

Moments later, the door is bursted down by the force of Dave’s head-butt.

“See? Look, I’m useful!” he grins.

“Didn’t that hurt?” Jack asks.

“Couldn’t feel a thing. I’m…woahoh, can’t see.”

“Dave…” Jack sighs heavily, leading the man out of the Utah location.

Dave shivers uncontrollably for a moment, clearing his throat and twitching briefly.

“Ah- Ah- Ah…I hate it when that happens.” he stutters.

“Maybe let’s not hit our head against things again?”

“You’re no fun :(” Dave pouts.

Jack shakes his head, smiling slightly as he helps the aubergine into his busted-up truck (you ever watch Twilight? That, but purple). Dave quickly buckles up, giddy like a puppy whose human companion just returned home after a long shift at the office.

“Thanks for holdin’ the door open, you really know how to show a lady a good time,” Dave chuckles.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack responds, climbing into the driver’s seat and closing the door behind him with a thunk.

“Turn on the radio, Sportsy! I wanna hear what they got playin’ nowadays, 30 years will set ya back a bit with the times,”

“Are…are you sure?” Jack asks, “I just have it on the 80’s channel, it’s the only thing I can stand,”

“Eh…on second thought, you’re drivin’, you pick the station,” Dave responds, rolling down his window.

Jack nods quietly, turning on the local 80s hits channel. He buckles up, looking over at the strange rabbit zombie thing beside him.

Was he really doing this?

Jack tenses as he feels a heavy hand rest on his shoulder. G-d, was that thing really back?

“Go on, Jackie, take him home.” the all-too familiar voice speaks softly.

Jack turns slightly to the right, looking the apparition in the eye.

Shrouded by shadows, he stares back, little bits of saturated pink shining through the darkness.

Jack had seen this thing ever since he met Dave, sauntering around the restaurant, occasionally scrapping with a shadowy doggo that looked…very familiar to him.

The spirit calls himself “Doctor”, and Jack can only assume he means “Dr. Henry Miller”, the late business partner and father figure to Dave. Jack had listened to tapes before picking Dave up. Things that illuminated much about his past…that he wouldn’t tell him he knew.

He knew what he had to do.

The car starts with not much of a fanfare, and Jack begins the long drive back to his house, or rather, the house he inherited from Peter and Caroline.

It felt so different without them. Their pictures were still everywhere, heck, even their room was practically boarded up since they passed. Jack wondered if maybe this is just what the doctor ordered…in more ways than one.

Dave falls asleep rather quickly on the ride home, Jack supposed that the sounds of the road calmed him down just enough to knock him out.

Jack adjusts his rear-view mirror at a stoplight, Miller still staring at him.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” Jack asks, cocking an eyebrow at him.

Miller about unhinges his jaw, leaning over Jack’s shoulder and somehow breathing on his neck. His fangs were far too close for Jack’s comfort. He adjusts in his seat slightly, getting his jugular away from Miller’s cartoonishly sharp vampiresque canines.

“I’m here to ensure that you continue our legacy. You’ve done so well these last two times…I just need you to cut off one last loose end…” the voice sends shivers down Jack’s spine, tonally oddly both rough and breathy at once.

“And that means constantly hovering behind me like a poltergeist?” Jack asks.

“Think of me as…your guardian angel…” Miller replies, his unshaken smile only growing. “A mentor, of sorts…”

“What changed?” Jack asks, turning to look at him directly, even though that was probably dangerous, “Why are you in my face about this now?”

Miller hums softly, looking away from Jack and to Dave.

“You need help with this task, Jackie.” he says plainly.

Jack follows Miller’s gaze then returns to look at the ghost.

“…Alright then.”

“Someone is in your way, son. I need to help you realize it.” Miller’s eyes dart back to Jack.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, keep being vague and mysterious, just not in my car. I gotta drive, y’know,” Jack turns back and hits the gas as the light turns green.

Miller closes his mouth, teeth dripping with saliva (on account of not having lips!).

Jack sighs, shaking his head.

Whatever indeed.

About an hour goes by before Dave is jolted awake by a bump in the road.

“Gah!” he exclaims flatly, looking over to the tangerine-toned man.

“Good morning, Dave! We’re almost there,” Jack replies.

“At Bear.?”

“No. My home,” Jack smiles. “You said to “take you home”, so…we’re almost there.”

Dave grins as him and Jack meet eyes, his tail swooping excitedly.

“Home!” Dave repeats, “I meant Bear., but this is! Old Sport, you won’t regret this!”

“I won’t live to, I’m sure.” Jack chuckles lowly, refocusing on the road.

A beat.

“You’re fuckin’ funny, you know that?” Dave asks.

“Hm?”

“penis McCum? Sportsy, who the hell would believe that was your real name?!” Dave laughs, putting a hand over his eyes.

“And yet they did!” Jack chortles.

“Fuckin’ madlad you are!” Dave slaps Jack on the back playfully.

“You taught me everything I know,” Jack replies.

“I’m so proud,” Dave sighs happily.

Jack turns a sharp corner, Dave grabbing onto the car door reflexively.

“Jesus!” he exclaims as Jack grins and swerves into his own parking spot.

“And we’re here!” the clementine parks, unbuckling and opening his door in a fashion that can only be described as “gmod”.

“Christ.” Dave mutters, unbuckling himself.

As he reaches for the handle, Jack opens his door for him.

“Oh, you~” Dave smiles, daintily lending out his hand.

Jack helps him out of the truck, walking him to the front door.

“This is home!” he says, unlocking it and pushing it open.

Dave slowly walks in, taking in his surroundings.

“Wow, Old Sport, you upgraded.” he says softly.

“Sure did. Stretch out your legs a bit, make yourself at home,” Jack says, “I’ll make us some food…unless you wanna order?”

“I could fuck up some barbecue wings,” Dave sprawls himself on the couch, grunting.

“Yeah…gonna have to order, then, all I got is trash pizza. Fazbender shit I just took home because I could,”

“Yeah, used to do that too.” Dave lifts his head up as Jack sits next to him.

“Gettin’ you the finest wings in Boulder,”

“Oh, they have apps for that now? Huh. Neat. …Wait did you say BOULDER? As in, a ROCK?” Dave asks, bewildered.

Jack nods slightly, tapping the screen of his phone.

“Old town names are always weird,” he says.

“Yeah, what the fuck was Bakersfield?” Dave asks.

Jack shrugs, setting his phone down on the arm of the sofa and lying next to Dave.

It’s silent for a bit, Dave’s eyes tracing across Jack’s body.

Jack notices quickly, glaring at Dave.

“What?” Dave asks.

Jack looks away.

“Nothing. I just…” Jack sighs.

“Tell Ole Davey what’s on your mind,”

Jack’s silent for a very long time.

Dave starts panicking internally, visibly shaking by the time he chokes out a

“Sportsy, I’m sorry if I—”

“You’ve been gone for thirty years.” Jack says softly.

More silence.

“I thought It’d go away.” Jack scoffs.

“What would?” Dave asks.

Jack hesitates for a moment, then swiftly turns and grabs Dave’s face, smashing his hardly-existent lips against Dave’s.

Dave gasps loudly, pushing Jack off.

“D-Dude!” Dave exclaims, sitting up. “You gotta warn me, Jesus! I…”

Dave puts two of the suit’s fingers against his lips.

“…You kissed me.”

“Sorry.” Jack adjusts his suit a bit, clearing his throat. “Heat of the mo—”

Dave pulls him back in for another kiss, Jack yelping in shock.

“I thought you’d never feel the same.” Dave says, “Or at least, never admit it.”

Jack shakes a bit; the breath knocked out of him from that.

“You’ve been obvious. I…I convinced myself that…” Jack trails.

“Yeah. I was that way for years before we met. But, hey, we don’t gotta do that no more, right?” Dave asks, smiling.

“…I…guess not.” Jack responds.

“Sportsy, do you think that I—”

The doorbell rings.

“That’s the food,”

Chapter Text

“You’re so patient,” Dave says softly.

Jack wipes a bit of barbecue sauce from Dave’s general face area with a napkin.

“I knew you’d be at least a little messy eating with the suit, I came prepared,” Jack responds, “Besides, you used to act like this before the suit anyhow,”

And Jack knew why, despite him currently feigning ignorance. He was curious to see if Dave knew the reasoning.

“Yeah, ever since I can remember,” Dave says, putting his hand to his chin thoughtfully, “Henry told me that’s how it always was, though,”

Something in his eyes told that maybe he didn’t fully believe that. But he wouldn’t dare say it aloud.

That answered Jack’s question.

“I see,” Jack says, wadding up the napkin and standing. “I’ll be right back,”

“I’ll count the minutes,” Dave replies, reaching out for Jack dramatically.

The orange man chortles, not giving the aubergine any other reaction.

Dave watches as Jack leaves the room with a satisfied smile.

You can imagine where his eyes were.

Jack throws the barbecue wad into the bathroom trash, looking up at himself in the mirror.

“You can’t do this.” he scolds himself, “Splash yourself with cold water and move on, like you always have…”

He runs the sink, doing just as he said, before looking up to meet Miller’s eyes again.

“What?” Jack snaps.

“I’m only here to remind you of your goal.” Miller says softly, passively standing behind Jack.

“I don’t need a reminder; I’m doing just fine.” Jack blots his face with the towel, groaning as he realizes some of his orange makeup just came off with it.

“You seem distracted, is all.” Miller turns his head to the side, looking at Jack directly now.

Jack shakes his head, grabbing more foundation out of the med cabinet.

“Your voice is more distracting than anything, let me do what I need to do,”

“I was referring to your pre-occupation with William.” Miller clarifies, “It could distract you from our legacy.”

“No, I think he could help us,” Jack replies, dabbing his face with powder, “Besides, if he does become one…well, I’m not afraid to lose him again.”

“You say that now, but what if things get more…permanent? I don’t trust you to make the right decision.” Miller inches closer to Jack’s face.

“And I can trust you? You show up one day and start demanding I do shit for the sake of “our legacy”, I only agreed because I wanted to,” Jack grins maliciously, “Because killing gives me nothing but joy. I’m not in it for your dead dream.”

“It’s not dead if you’re fulfilling it, Jackie.” Miller replies.

“…Touché, but this isn’t for you.” Jack’s expression rests as he looks himself in the face. “I can do what I want with him.”

“I’d advise against it.” Miller states.

“You know what, Doctor? Shove your advice up your ass. I know what I want.” Jack grins, speed-walking out of the room, suddenly determined.

“Jackie, no. This won’t end well for you!” Miller insists.

“It’s been thirty years; can’t a man have some fun?” Jack chuckles softly, adjusting his suit.

Dave perks up a bit as Jack walks back in the room.

“Ey, Sportsy, I—”

“Wanna have some pre-honeymoon fun, Dave?”

“What— I mean? Right now??” Dave is flabbergasted.

“Yeah, right now!” Jack growls a bit with a grin pulling at his tie.

Miller facepalms, immediately dissipating. Nope-ing out seemed like the best move here.

“O-Okay!” Dave chuckles nervously, “Didn’t think it’d be out the gate, but why not?”

Dave sits up as he watches Jack approach, undoing his tie and throwing it behind him.

“Mmh—!” Dave exclaims, Jack grabbing him by his shoulders and kissing him deeply.

Jack wraps his arms around Dave, grunting softly as the aubergine adjusts how he sat, spreading his legs with a creak.

“Sportsy!” Dave exclaims as Jack roughly kisses his neck.

“G-d, I wanted to do this for so long.” Jack groans softly, rolling his hips forward so that his crotch rubbed against Dave’s.

“S-Slow down! I—! woah!” Dave sputters, biting his lip.

“Sorry.” Jack immediately apologizes, stopping in his tracks.

“G-d…I— Sportsy, we haven’t even discussed a safe word, chill out,” Dave sighs shakily, clearly aroused now.

“Right, right. Got ahead of myself,” Jack puts a hand on his head. “What should it be?”

Dave thinks for a moment.

“Eggplant,” he says with a smile.

Jack scoffs with a smirk.

“Sure, Dave,” he says.

“Now, where were we?” Dave asks, putting his hands on Jack’s chest.

Jack starts grinding against Dave, him gasping softly.

“S-Sportsy, did you get work done? I-I seem to recall you having a—”

“Well, it’s more than a clit now,” Jack replies, locking eyes with Dave.

“Wow, technology has advanced since I was in there!” Dave exclaims, rolling his own hips forward with a soft moan.

“Sure has, Dave…” Jack starts unbuttoning his shirt, practically ripping off his jacket.

Dave takes advantage of the situation and gets a handful of Jack’s chest, Jack grunting softly as he does.

“Even better.” Dave grins, noting the scars underneath them.

“Yeah?” Jack asks with a grin. “You like Daddy’s new chest?”

“If you’re Daddy, am I Mommy?” Dave asks.

“Uh— yeah, sure,” Jack responds, a little shocked.

“Yes…” Dave smiles.

Jack clears his throat.

“Does Mommy like Daddy’s new chest?”

“Ohh yes!” Dave chuckles enthusiastically, biting his lip as he runs his hands over his pecs.

“Yeah?” Jack grins, watching Dave literally drool over it.

Jack feels something poke against his own forming erection as Dave kisses his pecs, caressing him a bit as he does.

“Mommy reaaally likes them,” Dave purrs.

“Oh, I can tell he does!” Jack chuckles softly, undoing his belt, standing. “Now be a good girl and get on your knees.”

Dave gasps as he blushes, squeezing his thighs together. He’d never felt so aroused in his life.

“Oh, Daddy! Keep doing that!” he exclaims, obeying the command.

Jack is genuinely shocked for a moment. He said that as a joke. But, hey, this wasn’t the strangest thing Dave was into.

“If you keep being a good girl, I’ll call you whatever you’d like,” Jack grins, “Now open wide.”

Dave squeals softly, opening his mouth wide.

Jack gently grabs the back of Dave’s head, pushing his cock into his mouth.

“If you need to stop, hit my leg twice,” Jack says.

Dave nods slightly, closing his eyes as he begins to suck softly on him.

“Ohh fuck—” Jack gasps quietly.

Dave chuckles, looking up at the tangerine man.

Jack’s looking right back at him, covering his mouth as he clenches his eyes shut for a moment.

“G-Good girl…” he moans, his grip on Dave’s head getting tighter.

Dave moans softly, body trembling for a moment.

Why the hell did those two words do so much for him? On that note, why did “Mommy”? G-d, this was the wrong time to be questioning this, you have him right where you always wanted him, enjoy it.

Jack keeps Dave there for a while, huffing out praise and obscenities. Probably the best action he’s taken out of spite!

“Fuck me, Mommy…ohh…” Jack groans as Dave increases his speed.

Dave resists the growing urge to jerk off, waiting until Jack gave the okay to do so. It was almost unbearable. He rests a hand on his cock just to relieve some of the tension. Fuck. Shit.

Jack takes notice of this rather quickly, responding with a

“Go on,”

Dave unzips his fly, quickly rubbing his hand against himself.

“That’s it…yeahh…” Jack bites his lip, watching Dave’s hand.

Dave continues to suck and lick to his best ability, jerking off as Jack stares intently at it.

“Good girl…yeah…” Jack gasps, pushing himself deeper into Dave’s mouth.

“Fhhh…” Dave moans, adjusting his hips as he picks up speed on himself.

“Ohh fuck, that’s my g-girl…ohh…” Jack whines, gently rocking his hips into his mouth.

Dave exclaims, precum dripping from his tip quickly.

“Is Mommy enjoying himselfhh?” Jack gasps, followed by an enthusiastic nod from Dave.

“Good…can Daddy try something?”

Another nod.

Jack pauses. He really hopes this isn’t overstepping.

“Mommy’s gonna take all of this, or she won’t be able to cum,”

Dave gasps loudly, body jerking as he holds his tip, preventing himself from ejaculating.

“Ohh yeahhh…” Jack tenses, speeding up, getting closer.

Dave’s whiny. He’s loud. He’s everything Jack needed him to be right now. Or her. Jack didn’t know if it was just a kink or what at this point. Not gonna press that further unless Dave brought that up though.

“I’m gonna c-cuhm…” Jack warns with a whimper.

Dave looks Jack in the eyes as he gives his cock several quick sucks, feeling his hand tight against his neck.

“AH!” Jack yelps, whining as his vision blurs.

Dave feels liquid drip into him as Jack thrusts into his mouth, gasping and squeezing his thighs together.

“That’s my…good girl…” Jack gasps, eventually pulling out of Dave.

“Oh, my G-d, Daddy, please let me cum…” Dave gasps sharply, his voice a bit scratchy.

“Hmm…” Jack puts his hand on his chin thoughtfully.

He then kneels down to Dave’s eye level, lifting his chin up.

“If she’d like. She’s been such a goood girll…” Jack purrs.

And it’s almost immediate.

Dave moans loudly, almost violently, as he ejaculates over his hand.

“Ah…ah…fffuck.” Dave gasps. “Sportsy, I…I think I’m…”

Jack looks at Dave attentively.

“I think I might be a woman.”