Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I’m in bed, laying down, naked
He’s inside of me
I love him, kiss his mouth, prayin’ 
He can’t see what I see 

“Both boys are finally down for bed,” JJ sighed as she closed Henry’s bedroom door. “I thought he was supposed to be easier to put to bed after the terrible two’s, not during.”

JJ moved down the hallway and towards the couch, eyeing her forgotten glass of wine on the coffee table. It was no doubt warm now, poured long before Micheal had wandered out of his room begging for another bedtime story that inevitably turned into three before a lullaby finally got him to sleep. This had become routine, her life was wrapped in monotonous bedtime rituals she could perform with her eyes closed, complete with a husband who looked at her like she’d hung every star in the sky just for him.

And maybe years ago, she had. He had given her two children whom she adored and loved beyond comprehension, a beautiful life and stability that most women only dreamed of. But somewhere along the way between homework and toddler soccer games they had settled into something that had bored her beyond belief, even if it was everything she should be wanting.

JJ settled onto the couch next to him and wrapped the throw blanket around her legs. She reached for her wine glass and took a long, slow sip, feeling the now room temperature liquid make its way down her throat. Most people would call her crazy for drinking her once chilled wine warm, but she found something comforting in it. It completed her nightly routine, really, giving her enough of a buzz to find happiness in whatever else happened that night, even if it was nothing more than barely any conversation at all.

Will put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side and giving her a kiss on the temple, sweet and unassuming in his usual way. He rested his beer on his knee and turned his attention back to the TV that was playing some show he had been enjoying for the past few weeks. JJ hadn’t bothered to get into it. She snuggled in further, willing herself to sink into the life she had built, find peace in the choices she had made. She stared at the room around her: seashell white walls were adorned with pictures of her family, of her and all her boys smiling and happy, a few of her team, the people she considered family. One of Henry’s stray soccer cleats had been left by the coffee table, several of Micheal’s toys had been strewn across the room like they normally were. Messy, but nothing that she couldn’t quickly clean in tomorrow morning’s chaos. But for now, she sipped the wine, almost polishing off the glass but leaving just enough to down before she followed Will to bed.

Her eyes focused back on the photos they had around the TV. One of their wedding, one of her and Henry on the day he was born, a matching one of her and Micheal, and one of her and Emily. 

Emily

Em-uh-lee.

At least, that’s how JJ said it, dragging out every syllable just enough to make them all count. It was wrong to have the woman you’re underneath of more often than your own husband plastered on your mantel right next to him. Truth be told, she had pictures of Emily everywhere she could get away with it. Henry and Michael were her greatest joys, but she couldn’t help but picture just how different her life could be if Will never would have gotten her pregnant. 

She was still an attentive wife, kissed Will when he got home, helped him cook breakfast, laughed at all the right times, she even went down on him from time to time when he wasn’t expecting it. She did everything a good wife was supposed to do, but in the quiet in between moments her mind still wandered back to her nights with Emily. 

Next to her, Will finished off his beer and she took that as the sign to polish off her glass of wine. He stood and held out a hand to take the now empty glass, which she gladly gave him, and she watched him disappear off into the kitchen. She heard the dishwasher open as she stood, making her way to the archway. She leaned against it, watching Will move through their kitchen. She smiled while she watched him, just like a good wife would. He looked over at her, returning a similar smile.

“What are you smiling at?” he asked, voice quiet and syllables slurred together in his Cajun drawl.

“Oh, I don’t know, just my amazing husband,” she smiled, meeting his eyes.

“Oh really?” he asked, closing the distance between them.

“Really,” she said with a grin, clasping her hands behind her back as she looked up at him.

“Well I’m looking at my amazing wife,” he said, leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead.

“Hmm,” JJ hummed as she leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. It didn’t take much for the kiss to deepen and her arms to be wrapped around his neck. His arms wrapped around her body, squeezing her ass before moving up to grip her waist.

JJ pulled back to take a breath and Will took the opportunity to move to her neck planting hot, open-mouthed kisses and sucking at her sensitive spots. She suppressed a moan and grasped at Will’s hair, keeping him just where she wanted him. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt his teeth graze her skin, quietly gasping into his ear.

“I think we need to go to bed,” she mumbled, prompting Will to unlatch from her neck and kiss her lips again before leading her down the hallway to their bedroom.

Will gently pushed her up against the closed bedroom door, hands immediately finding her hips and kissing her again. The heat wasn’t there like it once had been, it was still subtle but nowhere as strong and JJ was sure she had to take some of the blame in that. But ten years of being with the same man has its wears.

He lifted her tank top over her head leaving her bare-chested, cool air quickly hardening soft, pink nipples. Will wasted no time giving her chest attention, swirling his tongue around her nipple while gently pinching the other, rolling it between his fingers. JJ let out soft moans at the movements, hips beginning to writhe against the door.

Will slipped his hand underneath the waistband of her sleep shorts, rubbing tight circles on her clit over her panties. JJ threw her head back, biting back a moan as Will continued his motions.

“Oh fuck…” she muttered. He released her nipple from his mouth with a pop before turning his attention to her other boob. She groaned, focusing on only the feeling of his hands on her, not that it was his hands making her feel this way. Focusing on the sensation meant that she could pretend it was someone else making her feel this way. She felt her panties be moved over to the side and a finger be pushed inside of her, and she muffled her moan by biting her lip.

She was sure this was his favorite part of their foreplay, when he was slowly but surely reducing her to a mess in his hands. For her it always served as a reminder to one of the best nights she had experienced with Emily. She had been rougher when she pushed JJ up against her bedroom door, had held her there and kept her begging for release. The way that Emily touched her made her feel like she was being claimed, possessed by someone she would die to have but could never keep. She came twice against Emily’s bedroom door that night. 

When Will removed his finger and moved her towards the bed, she knew what came next. She let herself be pushed onto the bed, watching as she pulled off his shirt. He crawled over her and kissed her, cupping her cheek with his hand. JJ moved her hand between them and into his boxers, stroking slowly his already hardened dick. It was harder for her to dissociate when she was touching him like this, but every now and again she could pretend to get lost in her memory of someone else.

Will moved his kisses from her mouth down the rest of her body, stopping to lavish attention to the most sensitive parts of her, nipping and licking her flushed skin. Her breathing was heavy as he teased her thighs, growing wetter by the second. She let her mind wander to Emily and the way that she would do this to her. 

She moaned when he licked from her entrance to her clit, tongue flicking across it methodically, drawing her closer to release. Will wouldn’t let her cum like this, he rarely ever ate her out to completion, but he would push her right to the edge and then back off  her, driving her insane. If she was honest, it was the best part of their foreplay. 

She felt the familiar pull low in her stomach building stronger with each lick, each flick of the tongue. Her fingers were threaded in Will’s hair while she babbled on encouragements through her moans, begging for him to keep going. 

“Will, I- Oh fuck, I’m so close,” she warned. 

Right on cue, he removed his face slick with her wetness, from between her thighs, moving on top of her. He kissed her and she could taste herself and she was reminded how she always tasted different on his tongue than she did on Emily’s. She much preferred herself after Emily had her way with her. 

Without pulling away from the kiss he ran the head of his cock through her folds, teasing, before pushing himself inside of JJ. She broke their kiss with a moan, hands finding the back of Will’s head to hold him close while he fucked into her. His pace was fast but not hard, how he had assumed JJ had liked it for all of these years. She moaned and whimpered into his ear as he kissed her neck, feeling herself clench around him. 

Without pulling away from the kiss he ran the head of his cock through her folds, teasing, before pushing himself inside of JJ. She broke their kiss with a moan, hands finding the back of Will’s head to hold him close while he fucked into her. His pace was fast but not hard, how he had assumed JJ had liked it for all of these years. She moaned and whimpered into his ear as he kissed her neck, feeling herself clench around him. 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot, JJ,” he groaned as he continued. 

“Please rub my pussy,” she begged, wrapping her legs around him, “Please, you fuck me so go— fuck, please, please,” she continued. 

His hand went between them and immediately found her clit, rubbing tight, quick circles around it. JJ moaned loudly as she continued to encourage him, begging in a way she typically reserved for Emily. 

“I’m gonna— gonna cum,” she moaned. 

“Cum for me, baby, come on, let go,” he groaned into her ear.

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming,” she babbled over and over as he continued. 

The pull got tighter and with one final thrust, she felt the coil break and she clenched harder around Will inside of her. Her orgasm tore through her as her thighs shuttered around her husband, drawing him in closer and he fucked her through it. 

“I’m almost there, babe,” he panted in her ear, “where do you want it?” 

“Stomach,” she gasped, still riding her high. 

He pulled out, leaving her feeling empty, and a few seconds later she fell the warmth of his cum across her stomach. She looked up at him, chest heaving and thoroughly fucked, and bit her lip as he emptied the last of himself on her. 

“Let me clean you up, Cher,” he muttered after a beat of silence, grabbing a few tissues from their bedside table and wiping her clean. He kissed her stomach gently before he put his boxers on and went to find her new pajamas for the night. 

She kept watching, running a hand through her hair as he dug through his drawer, presumably trying to find her one of her favorite t-shirts. He settled upon an old band shirt from one of the first shows they had gone to together and opened her drawer to grab her a new pair of underwear. He helped her sit up before he dressed her, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead before laying her back down and covering her with the comforter. He crawled in beside her, wrapping his arms around her and he pulled her in close. He peppered several kisses on the side of her head and neck, causing JJ to giggle as she rested her arm on top of his. 

“I love you, JJ,” he muttered.

“I love you, too, Will," she responded.

It was times like this that JJ could almost conjure up guilt. Her husband loved her and she loved him in some form of the word, but part of her always had one foot out the door in this marriage. She had since before they had even said their vows. The part of her that was still present was here for stability, for the comfort of knowing that if anything happened to her in the field that there would be very little disruption to their lives. What they had was good, it was something that people envied, and she couldn’t bring herself to give up what was good for something that felt right. For Emily. 

She went to sleep that night envisioning that the person who had just fucked her was Emily, that she was the one whose strong arms were wrapped around her now, giving her that feeling of safety she so deeply craved. She thought of just how many days it had been since she last had Emily’s head between her thighs, and she was counting down the hours until she would be there again. 

The next morning JJ woke to a cold bed and the smell of bacon being wafted through the house. Will always got up before her and started breakfast, leaving her to wake the boys and start their morning routines before sending them off to school. 

She got up and got dressed in leggings and a cropped t-shirt, waking up both boys as usual. She put on her tennis shoes, kissed Will goodbye, and headed out the door on her morning run. It was the forty-five minutes of the day she always had completely to herself, no worries of Will or the boys or Emily or an impending case. Just her, the sidewalk, and the focus of shaving another half-second off her pace everyday. It was peace. 

In another life, she would walk through the door and be greeted with a kiss from Emily who would immediately drag her upstairs to the shower and fuck her against the glass. But she lived this life, the one where she walked inside the house to kiss her husband who greeted her with a smile, a kiss, and a plate of frittata and bacon that she would take to the table and eat with her kids. She would bathe in the domesticity of her morning routine with her boys before sending them off to school and taking her shower. She would get dressed, gravitating towards the colors Emily enjoyed best on her, and meet her husband back downstairs to discuss today’s after school schedule. It brought part of her comfort while it made the other part of her sick.

“You’re picking up Henry and Micheal from school and taking Henry to soccer practice, right?” she asked, stepping off the last stair of the staircase. 

“Yes, and tonight is your girl’s night with Emily, correct?” he asked.

“Yes sir,” she said with a slight tease, quickly closing the space between them, “Don't forget that I'm spending the night.”

“Sounds good, babe. Me and the boys will hold down the fort no problem.” 

“You always do, and that’s why I love you.” 

“Is that the only reason?” 

“Nope, I can think of a few,” she smiled, pulling him in by the lapel for a slow kiss before pulling away, “I have to go to work, babe, but I’ll see you soon. I’ll miss you.” 

“I’ll miss you, too, honey. Have fun tonight, I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

JJ grabbed her bag and her jacket and she was out the door, no looking back. There was only one thing on her mind, and that was the anticipation of seeing Emily tonight.

Chapter Text

When I close my eyes
You erase him
Wearing no disguise
You replace him

Work dragged on with paperwork and consults and watching Emily go back and forth between meetings all day. The stress of some of them showed on her face when she returned, other times you could barely tell that she had spent an hour listening to bureaucrats she couldn't stand. JJ worked through lunch, having been handed a consult from the Boston field office that made taking any time for herself impossible. By the end of the workday she was tired and ready to settle down on the couch with Emily and watch their shitty reality TV shows.

Right as four o'clock hit, Emily walked out of her office with her bags and down the stairs to meet JJ, who was just beginning to pack up her own things.

“You want me to pick up some food on the way over?” JJ asked as she shuffled around some papers. 

“I could go for some Chinese food if you’re up for it," Emily replied, adjusting her bag on her shoulder as she stopped at JJ's desk.

“Yeah, sounds perfect. Our usual spot?” 

“Yep. Here, let me give you my card so you can pay…” Emily said as she began to rummage around in her bag. 

“No, it’s fine Em I got it."

“Jay, it’s fine let me pay," Emily argued, still digging around for her wallet.

“Hey,” JJ said, taking a step closer and lowering her voice. The office was almost completely empty but they were still careful to avoid anything that could be mistaken as something more than years of close friendship. “Will knows I’m coming over for girls night. He’d probably be more suspicious if I didn’t buy something. You go grab more wine or something if you feel so guilty,” JJ smiled, beginning to tease. 

“Fine. Just know I hate when you buy dinner,” she said softly, closing her bag. 

“I know,” she replied, turning to head towards the elevator, “but you love me enough to deal with it,” she whispered as she passed Emily. 

There was that stupid love word again. It was one that got tossed around in her life a lot, mostly with Will, sometimes with Emily. When she was with Will love meant safety. It meant family, home, something soft and sweet. It was familiarity and an established routine. But with Emily it was different. Sometimes they said it to tease, but when they said it normally, when they were so wrapped up in one another and overwhelmed with what it was to be together, the words came spilling out like a prayer. Love with Emily meant something dangerous, something right, it set her on fire in ways that nothing else in her life ever had. She meant it in a way that she never could with anyone else, in a way she never had with Will. 

They rode the elevator in a peaceful silence, JJ’s body thrumming in anticipation of what was to come. Their standing girls night every Friday was routine, but sex with Emily was far from. It felt like Emily was trying something new with her every time, always safety pushing her limit and letting JJ explore her own sexuality in a way that made her feel safe and valued. They walked next to each other quietly, not feeling the need to talk, but their hands brushed every now and again. JJ swore she would give up almost anything just to hold Emily's hand in public. Emily knew she would never get that kind of commitment.

When they reached Emily's car, she gave a quick 'see you soon' and JJ just smiled, content to keep their interaction as inconspicuous as possible. She made the rest of the walk to her car in quiet yet eager anticipation, excited for another night with Emily.

JJ drove to pick up their dinner, listening to the low hum of the radio. She didn’t love to be alone with her thoughts when she was driving. They would get messy quickly, trapped in a world where she was constantly swinging between what she should want and what she needed. She didn’t regret becoming a mother, but part of her knew that if she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant she would just be Emily’s. That’s where her guilt about the whole situation came from: she almost regretted having her son. Not the stepping out on the vows she’d broken long before she made them. Just the thought of what would have been. 

When JJ arrived at Emily’s apartment it felt like a second nature. She greeted the doorman as she shifted the bags in her hands: one purse, one overnight bag, and one with a small feasts worth of Chinese food. She took the elevator to the fourth floor, walked down the hall until it turned left and followed it down two doors until she was at Emily’s. She grabbed the handle and pushed it open knowing it would be unlocked for her. Emily always left it that way when JJ was coning over. 

“Emmy, I’m back!” she called through the apartment, kicking the door closed with her foot as she made her way to the kitchen island. She set down her bags before returning to the entryway to kick off her shoes and place her keys in the bowl. By the time she had returned to the kitchen Emily was pulling a bottle of wine out of the fridge. 

“There you are,” she smiled, setting the wine down on the island. Emily had already changed into sweatpants and an old, oversized FBI issued t-shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, a few loose pieces framing her face. To JJ, she was most beautiful like this. She wasn’t put together or dressed up for anyone, she was simply just Emily, her Emily. No one else got to see her like this. 

Emily kissed her gentle and slow, a kiss that JJ sunk into. She loved when Emily kissed her like this, like their time together wasn’t finite. Like this kitchen was the one she was supposed to be kissed in, not the one she was kissed in this morning. 

Emily pulled away just enough to talk, “Are you ready for dinner?” 

JJ nodded, “Just let me go change, I’ll be right back.” JJ pressed a quick kiss to Emily’s lips and grabbed her purse and overnight bag, making her way down the hallway to Emily’s bedroom. 

She set her things on the chair in the corner of the room, one that she claimed as hers ages ago. She pulled out a lace bralette and matching thong, along with her fitted sweatpants and slightly cropped t-shirt. She knew she didn’t have to try to impress Emily, she had seen her through so many messy seasons of life and still chose to love her. But she enjoyed making the casual a little bit cuter, and she knew her in lace drove Emily crazy. She put her new outfit on and stopped to give herself a quick once-over in the mirror, something else that she knew was unnecessary. When she walked back down the hallway, Emily was already in the living room with their food on plates with JJ's glass of wine waiting for her. 

“Dinner is served, mon ange,” Emily smiled. She had been using that nickname with JJ since Paris, since their hands still fumbled across each other in the dark, before each curve and each dip became known like a second nature. It still brought a faint blush across her cheeks.

“Thank you, babe,” JJ said as she took her spot next to Emily on the couch. She picked up her plate of food and settled it on her lap. “Was work good today? I’m sorry I didn’t get to stop by your office, the Boston field office requested a consult and they kept me busy.” 

“Oh, it was fine, same old bureaucratic bullshit. But hey, any Friday we don’t get called in on a case is a great Friday in my book.” 

JJ chuckled as they ate their dinner, light conversation carrying on. This was the domestic bliss JJ was supposed to be enjoying with her husband, not Emily. But she sat there with a stupid, dopey smile painted across her face as time passed her by. In another world, they would have just put the boys to bed and tried to find a couple hours of time to dedicate to just one another. But this wasn’t another world, and Emily remained JJ’s closest kept secret. 

When they had finished dinner, JJ took their plates to the kitchen and rinsed them before placing them in the dishwasher while Emily refilled their wine. JJ followed Emily back to the couch, watching her perch herself the a corner before she settled herself between her legs. After handing JJ her wine, Emily used her free hand to pull the throw blanket off of the back of the couch and cover them before wrapping her arm around JJ’s waist and pulling her flush to her front. 

JJ hummed at the contact. She could feel Emily’s strap secured firmly under her sweatpants and underwear. Emily normally wore it when they were together knowing that sooner or later she would be buried inside of her. But for now, they just took this time to be together, to get lost in the fantasy that was each other. 

Sex used to be their main priority. JJ would barely get through the door before Emily’s hands were on her, dragging her towards the bedroom and fucking her until she forgot her own name. But as time drug on, the dynamic shifted. Yes, sex was still something they did as often as they could, but there were some nights when all they wanted to do was lay with each other. Watch movies, eat way too many snacks, pass out tangled in each other on the couch. Some of those nights were almost better than the sex if she was being honest. 

She felt Emily’s thumb begin to rub her hip absentmindedly, sipping her wine and getting lost in the show they had put on. JJ settled in with her head tucked just below Emily’s chin, soaking in the warmth of the woman around her. She felt the wine settling into her bones now, filling her head with that familiar static the way only red wine did. 

She felt Emily press a kiss to her head, holding her closer. She could feel the steady beat of her heart, hear her slow breaths as the wine settled into their systems. Emily emptied her wine glass, so JJ followed suit, setting the now empty glasses on the coffee table before leaning back into Emily. She felt her arms wrap around her again, peppering several kisses on her neck before returning to the quiet rhythm of their TV show and almost no talking. 

JJ’s arms settled on top of Emily’s, holding on just enough to anchor herself to this moment. Sometimes when they were here in the quiet anticipation of what was to come, JJ could feel her mind drifting back to what was happening at her own home. Had both boys gone down easily for bed? What had Will fed them for dinner? Did they fight bath time or did they love the excuse to play with their bath toys? Was Will watching TV on their couch now? Was he thinking about her? What she was doing? The secrets that her and Emily were sharing? Did he have any idea that she had been fucking her best friend for the past eight years? 

When she felt Emily’s finger tips brush lightly across the bottom of her stomach, those thoughts almost immediately dissipated. She felt heat pooling in her panties knowing what was to happen. This is how it often started, the small, teasing touches. Emily would worship her until she let the darker side of herself take over, and then she would absolutely ruin her. 

She felt a kiss be pressed right below her ear, another just below that. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt herself growing wetter by the second. The slow, gentle movements by Emily’s hand across her stomach continued. Time started slowing. 

“I missed you this week, baby,” Emily whispered, nipping at JJ’s ear. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” JJ muttered, knowing missed/ didn’t even begin to describe the way her body craved the other woman. 

“Did you let your husband fuck you this week?” she asked, slipping a hand under the hem of JJ’s cropped tee and gently grabbing her breast while her other arm held firmly to her waist. 

“Uh huh,” JJ nodded, “twice.” 

“Did you cum?” 

“Uh huh," JJ whined, attempting to roll her hips that were pined down by Emily's grasp.

“Did he fuck you as good as I do?” 

“No, never,” she sighed, feeling Emily pinch her nipple through the lace. 

“Did you wear lace for me tonight, pretty girl?” Emily asked, switching her motions to JJ's. other breast.

“Yes,” she sighed, "anything for you."

“Aww, my girl got all dressed up for me,” Emily said, sliding her hand that was underneath of her shirt back down and into the waistband of her shorts. She slipped her hand inside of her panties, fingers sliding through wetness and drawing a downright filthy sound from JJ’s lips. “You’re dripping, baby.” 

JJ’s hand found the back of Emily’s head, fingers threading through her hair and pulling her close. She whined, feeling Emily’s fingers tease her entrance while her thumb brushed against her clit, sending pleasure radiating through her body. Emily pulled her hand from her waistband, fingers glistening with JJ’s arousal. Instinctively, JJ opened her mouth and Emily stuck her fingers inside while JJ sucked and swirled her tongue around the digits. Emily groaned, something low and throaty, only encouraging JJ further.

Emily pulled her fingers away from JJ’s mouth, “Stand up, pretty girl. Take your clothes off, I want to see you.” 

JJ nodded and stood in front of Emily who shifted to keep JJ in front of her. JJ lifted her shirt above her head—slow, teasing. Emily watched her with hungry eyes, practically drooling when she saw pink nipples poking through the white lace. JJ’s breath caught and her pulse spiked when she saw the way that Emily watched her every movement, like a predator stalking its prey. Eight years of this and she was sure she would never get enough. She slid her joggers down, revealing tanned legs and her barely-there matching thong. Emily groaned as JJ slowly spun, showing off her outfit and toned body to the woman who was going to ruin her.

“Do you like it? I picked it out for you last week," she asked nervously, biting her lip out of habit.

“You look gorgeous, baby,” Emily said, gently grabbing JJ’s wrist and pulling her into her lap. 

“Thank you,” she mumbled, getting lost in Emily’s eyes. 

Emily kissed her, something slow and sweet and reverent. Her hands stayed firm on JJ’s hips while the blonde grasped her shoulders, melting into Emily’s touch. Her tongue swiped the bottom of JJ’s lips, and she instinctively parted to let her in. They stayed in that kiss for a minute, tongues dancing, taking their time to just be with one another before JJ would inevitably leave. JJ’s need for release got the better for her, and her hips canted against Emily before she could stop them. 

“Needy tonight, aren’t we?” Emily asked, pulling back from their kiss just far enough to see JJ’s kiss-swollen lips. 

JJ just nodded. She couldn’t bring herself to speak, mind so lost in Emily she swore she would walk into battle for her if she so much as asked in that moment. 

“Do you want to cum, Jay?” she asked, using a feather light touch to trace circles on her clit through the lace. JJ grip on Emily’s shoulders tightened, whimpering at the sensation between her thighs.

“Please,” she managed to get out. 

Emily moved her panties to the side and slid two fingers in as deep as she could, eyes closing at the sinful noise that the woman on top of her made. 

“If you want to cum, work for it,” she smirked, gently moving her thumb to JJ’s clit and stilling her fingers completely. 

“Em,” she whined, shifting her upper body forwards to wrap her arms around Emily’s neck. She rolled her hips, gasping and burying her face into Emily’s neck. She kept up her actions, speeding up, desperate for her release. Her breathing grew heavier, moans only broken by curses and Emily’s name as she clutched onto the woman. 

“Good girl, you’re doing so good baby,” Emily purred, placing her free hand on the small of JJ’s back. She helped to guide her movements with a barely-there touch, “You’re so close baby, come on, cum for me, baby girl,” she encouraged.

JJ knew she wasn't going to last long but she didn't think she would find her release this quickly. With a few more thrusts of her hips, JJ came with a quiet cry into Emily’s neck. Her thighs spasmed around Emily’s where they bracketed her and she felt herself clenching around her fingers as her wetness coated Emily’s palm. Her body was on fire and her mind went completely blank, losing itself in the feeling of Emily inside of her. 

Her hips slowed to a stop and Emily pulled her fingers out gently, wiping the wetness on her sweatpants. She ran her fingers through JJ’s hair, leaving gentle kisses on her shoulder. JJ knew this night was far from over, but it had been a while since her first orgasm took her out this much. 

“Can I taste you baby? Or do you need a second?” Emily asked, gently rubbing JJ's back.

“Need a second,” she muttered, breathing still labored. 

“Take your time, honey,” she said, gently stroking her back as she played with her hair. She placed a kiss on her cheek, feeling JJ’s breathing begin to even out. “You did good, you know that? You’re perfect.” 

JJ nuzzled further into Emily’s neck, hand gently playing with the baby hairs that she found there. She placed a few lazy kisses on the side of her neck, feeling herself even out into some sense of equilibrium. She was, after all, still completely under Emily’s spell. 

“Ready,” JJ murmured, pulling herself out of the crook of Emily’s neck to kiss her. Without disconnecting from the kiss, Emily gently flipped them and set JJ on the couch. She stayed flush with her pelvis, keeping JJ open, keeping her ready. Her panties were already ruined, and she had plenty of ideas about how to ruin her further the rest of the night. 

Emily moved her kisses to JJ’s cheek, then down to her neck and biting gently, enough to leave a mark but not enough to stay until the morning. JJ whimpered again, threading her fingers through her hair as she kissed her body. She knew if she tried to guide Emily she would be punished for her impatience, and she knew begging wouldn’t get her very far either. But still, she needed something and Emily was taking her sweet time getting to her final destination. 

“Please, Em, please I need you,” she begged. 

“I’m going to take my time with you, baby, be patient,” Emily mumbled against her skin. 

“Emily,” she whined, hips bucking into her. 

“Jennifer, I will give you what you need when you deserve it,” she said, making eye contact with her before continuing to worship her skin. 

JJ groaned, hips rolling into her searching for contact again, “Ple—“ she cut herself off with a desperate cry when Emily teeth bit her nipple, hard enough to sting but not to draw out JJ’s safe word. “Fuck, baby,” she whined, hands gripping the cushion and the back of Emily’s hair even harder. 

Emily looked up at JJ again, making sure she held eye contact. “You will take what I give when I give it to you, do you understand?” 

JJ nodded, “Yes,” she breathed, overwhelmed with pleasure. 

“Yes what?” 

“Yes ma’am, I’m sorry,” she continued, voice barely above a whisper as she focused on the sensation of Emily touching her. The next several minutes were torture as Emily drug out her foreplay, kissing, nipping, and licking every inch of her body except the places that JJ needed her the most. Her hips were writhing, trying to chase a friction they never found while she felt herself continue to clench around nothing. She was sure Emily would barely need to put in any effort to make her cum again at this point. 

Finally, she felt relief nearing when she felt Emily’s fingers hook into the side of her thong and slowly drag it down her legs, tossing it somewhere behind her. With strong hands she parted JJ’s thighs and drank in the sight of her absolutely soaking wet cunt. She moaned at the sight, settling down on the floor and pushing JJ’s thighs towards her chest. 

“Hold them, baby girl,” she commanded, and JJ didn’t dare disobey, not when she was this close to getting exactly what she wanted. 

Emily flattened her tongue, licking a stripe from her entrance to her clit before sucking harshly on the bundle of nerves. JJ moaned loudly, eyes slamming shut as the heat coiled low in her belly threatened to snap. 

“God, I fucking love your pussy,” Emily growled as she continued to devour JJ like she was the last meal she would ever be allowed to eat. JJ could barely keep her legs where Emily had told her too, grip faltering as Emily continued her crusade. She had been reduced to nothing but a bunch of limbs experiencing euphoria with Emily between her legs. 

“Can I cum? Pl— please, fuck, Emily, I’m so fucking close—“ 

Emily pushed two fingers in unexpectedly, burying them deep within JJ and causing her to make a sound that was almost inhuman. “Cum for me, pretty girl,” she demanded as she sucked on JJ’s clit, tongue circling it. 

JJ’s legs slipped from her grip and her thighs slammed shut around Emily’s face, squeezing unintentionally. She gripped the couch cushions until her knuckles turned white, face locked in a silent scream long after the sound had left her mouth. 

As she came down from her high, her legs loosened around Emily’s head and she eased her fingers out of JJ. She wiped the wetness on her chin with the back of her hand, placing soft kisses on the inside of JJ’s thighs as she continued to come down from her high. 

“You did so good, baby, you always take what I give so well,” Emily praised. JJ barely heard her, feeling absolutely boneless and unsure if she had another orgasm left in her for the next year, let alone the next thirty minutes. She nodded, trying her best to get out a ‘thank you,’ but the words never passed her lips.

“Need a second?” Emily asked. JJ nodded.

“Want me to carry you to bed?” She nodded again.

“Alright baby. Hold onto me, okay?” JJ nodded for a final time and Emily positioned herself to pick her up, sliding her hands underneath of her ass and lifting her from the couch. She carried her off to the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed, crawling in next to her and rubbing small patterns across her abdomen. She wasn’t done with JJ, and she knew that, but she also knew how not to push JJ past her limits, just to test them carefully. Emily truly worshiped the ground that JJ walked on, and it was evident in how she treated her both during and outside of sex. 

Emily placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder as she calmed down. “Give me a color, Jayje,” she said gently. 

“Yellow, almost ready,” she replied, knowing that she was dangerously close to overstimulation regardless of how long of a break she took. 

“Just tell me when you’re ready or if you want to stop. I still have plans for you, but if you’re done you’re done and you need to tell me, okay?” 

JJ nodded, finding Emily’s hand with her own and threading their fingers together. “Love you,” she mumbled, closing her eyes to fully settle the fire still residing in her body. 

Emily rubbed the back of JJ’s hand with her thumb, staring at the woman she had fallen madly in love with years ago. This wasn’t exactly how she pictured building a life with JJ, but she took what she could get, and JJ knew that. She gave her as much as she physically could. 

Some time passed in comfortable silence, Emily’s body still thrumming with want while JJ’s was buzzing with need again, knowing she didn’t have much left to give but eager to give it all to Emily regardless. 

“Green,” JJ said, turning her head to look at Emily. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, please Emily. I want to feel you inside me,” she said, squeezing her hand.

“What’s the safe word?” 

“Blackbird. Don’t worry, I’ll tap if I need to.” 

Emily nodded, “Alright baby girl. Get on on your hands and knees for me.” 

JJ bit her lip, moving into position for Emily. She was eager to please, eager to have another orgasm thrust upon her even if it would bring tears to her eyes. She was greedy, wanted all that Emily would give her for as long as she could have her. 

Emily moved behind her, stripping off her t-shirt, sweatpants, and underwear, leaving her in nothing but her bra and the strap. She ran her fingers through JJ's folds, still dripping with arousal and cum as JJ gasped at the contact. 

“Pretty girl, you’re still absolutely soaked. You can’t get enough, can you?” 

“No, need you so bad,” she said, trying not to lose herself under Emily’s touch. 

“My perfect, needy girl,” Emily hummed before leaning forward and lapping up the wetness with her tongue. She pulled away and gathered her saliva in her mouth before spitting it on JJ’s pussy, eliciting a guttural moan from the other woman. 

Emily lined up behind her, dragging the head of the strap on through her folds, teasing. When she finally pushed the head in, JJ whimpered something filthy, and Emily wasted no time burying herself to the hilt inside of JJ’s warmth. JJ fell to her elbows and knew she was not going to last long like this. 

“Fuck, Emily, you feel so fucking good,” JJ moaned.

Emily hummed, grabbing a handful of JJ’s hair and yanking it back as the woman beneath her gasped. She started slow at first, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back into her. The sounds JJ made were obscene, begging for what she was already getting, voice growing more hoarse by the second. 

“Does your husband fuck you like this?” she asked, thrusting back into JJ who couldn’t form a sentence. “Answer me, Jennifer.” 

“No, no!” she squealed as Emily buried herself inside her, “You fuck me so good, Emily, please don’t stop, fuck,” she babbled on. 

“Do you think about me when he’s fucking you?” she growled, increasing her pace and causing JJ to fall forward even further, cheek pressed to the mattress. 

“Yes, oh my god, always y— oh my god, just you,” she continued, hands searching for the bed for something to grip. 

Emily continued to speed up to a punishing pace and JJ was practically screaming underneath of her, eyes rolling to the back of her head. She could feel herself quickly slipping to the place where she was completely brainless, literally fucked dumb on Emily’s dick. This is all she could think about when Will was having his way with her. 

“Can I cum? Please, please Emily let me cum,” she begged. 

“You can cum baby,” she moan, fucking JJ even harder. 

On command JJ’s release tore through her, lighting up every nerve ending and sending her near to tears. She was babbling something wholly unintelligible, and she was pretty sure she was drooling onto the mattress. Before she could process what was happening, Emily had pulled out, flipped her over, and thrusted the strap deep inside of her again. JJ grasped at the other woman’s back, pulling her close and definitely leaving scratch marks that were sure to sting in the morning. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she babbled on, overwhelmed with sensation. 

“You take me so good, you’re such a good girl baby,” Emily cooed, pace unrelenting. 

“I can’t, Em I can’t,” she cried. 

“Yes you can, baby. You can take it, be a good girl and take it.” 

“Too full,” she whimpered, legs wrapping around Emily’s waist, body betraying the words she had spoken. 

“Give me a color, baby,” she huffed, feeling her own release drawl closer.

Emily thrust into her again and she swore to God she could feel it in her throat. She was so close, there was really no point in stopping Emily now and she craved to be used in the way that Emily was using her. She was there for nothing but Emily’s pleasure. 

“Green, fuck, so green.” She felt tears stinging her eyes, body barely able to register where she ended and Emily began. She needed to find her release soon, but she wanted nothing more than Emily to follow her over that edge. 

“I’m close, cum in me, please, I want you to cum in me Emily,” she panted. 

“Hold on, baby, I’m almost there,” she said, prying one of JJ’s hands off of her and intertwining their fingers. She shoved it down to the mattress, using it to keep her balance and JJ squeezed it hard. Tears were falling down her cheeks now, leftover mascara likely running with them. God, she knew was ruined the first time she ended up in Emily’s bed but absolutely nothing could compare to the way that Emily had made her feel ever since. Will never really had a chance. 

“Please, please, please,” she babbled as Emily fucked her into the mattress. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum baby, cum with me,” she demanded.

With Emily’s permission, JJ flew over the edge and Emily followed right behind her, hips stuttering as they slowed, legs twitching as she tried to keep herself above JJ. The world went white and she swore she lost her hearing, floating to a place between intense pain and pleasure, feeling full and boneless and absolutely possessed by Emily Prentiss. She could live in this state for the rest of her life, not a care in the word. 

“I fucking love you, Jennifer,” Emily whispered, collapsing on top of the woman. 

“I fucking love you, too, Emily,” JJ whispered back, trying to find her bearings on this side of reality. 

The pair laid there, room filled with the sounds of their heavy breathing as they bathed in their post-sex high. Emily was still inside JJ, who had taken a bit longer to recover than usual. Emily placed a gentle kiss on her cheek when she felt her breathing return to something near normal. 

“I’m gonna pull out, okay?” Emily whispered. 

JJ nodded, still struggling to form something near a thought. She whimpered at the movement, feeling entirely too empty when Emily fully withdrew contact. She watched through half-lidded eyes as Emily rid herself of the strap and her bra before gently maneuvering the blankets around a boneless JJ, all but tucking her in underneath of them. Emily crawled in beside JJ, opening her arms as the other woman cuddled into her side, laying her head on Emily’s chest. Her arm found purchase across her bare stomach, pulling their bodies flush and doing all she could to will herself to become a part of Emily. 

Emily ran her fingers through golden blonde hair damp from sweat before lightly massaging JJ’s scalp. She heard the woman hum beneath her, this being her favorite part of their aftercare routine. Emily placed a kiss on her forehead, giving her another second to catch up to reality. 

“Shower in the morning, I’m assuming?” she asked gently. JJ just nodded, nuzzling further into Emily, though she couldn’t be any closer than she already was. 

“Okay, we need to do your check-in before you fall asleep. How are you feeling?” 

JJ paused for a second, really thinking about it. She tried to be as honest as possible with Emily after sex. “Eight. Really sensitive, and my hips are a little sore. But it was really good.” 

“Do you need lotion or me to rub your hips?” 

JJ shook her head, “No, they’ll be okay.” 

“Were you honest about your colors?” 

“Always.” 

“Is there anything I did that upset you or made you feel at all uncomfortable?” 

“No.” 

“Did you like the way I talked to you?” 

JJ nodded enthusiastically, “I love when you talk to me like that.” 

“Would you change anything from tonight?” 

“No.” 

“Is there something you want me to do more of?” 

“I really liked the way you talked to me tonight. Like, a lot. You were so possessive, in a way. It was really hot.” 

Emily smiled to herself, “Good to know. I’ll try to talk like that more often. Your check in is complete, honey. You can go to sleep after you give me a kiss.” 

JJ leaned up, gently kissing Emily. She got lost in it for a minute, letting it ease her soul before she fell asleep. This, here, really was her peace. She pulled away from the kiss just barely, enough to look Emily in her eyes, pupils still blown with lust. 

“You know I really do love you, right? I’m not just saying that to say it.” 

Emily nodded, “I know. And I love you, too, Jayje. More than I can ever put into words or grand gestures.” 

JJ nodded, “I know. I just…I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re not enough or that I’m just saying it because of the sex. You’re my person.” 

“And you’re mine.” 

JJ smiled, pressing another kiss to her lips before she snuggled back into Emily’s side for the night, content to be suspended in this version of reality. 

“Goodnight, mon ange. I love you, sleep well, I’ll see you when I make you breakfast,” she said, continuing to give JJ her scalp massage. 

“Goodnight, Emmy. I love you, too,” JJ murmured back, sleep already threatening to take her under. Here, in the warmth of Emily, nothing else really mattered. Not her husband, not her status as a mother, not the FBI or the unsolved cases on her desk, nor the fear of disappointing her parents for being who she was. Here, it was just her and Emily and for that she was thankful. Deep down, part of her hated the woman she had become. She could so easily step out of her marriage for Emily and play with fire, with the risk of people finding out about what it was they were doing. But she had never felt so right in her own skin, she wouldn’t ever consider not having this solace. Who was she to trade something so good, something she should want, for something that felt right even if it came with none of those comforts? She drifted off with that question plaguing her, but she knew that, deep down, it didn’t matter. Emily did. 

JJ woke first the next morning. The light that filtered in through the curtains painted the room in a light blue haze, one that Emily always joked reminded her of JJ’s eyes. She knew she was never joking. 

Emily was still asleep on her stomach, head facing JJ, one arm tucked underneath her while the other was loosely draped over JJ’s back. Her hair cascaded around her shoulders off to the side, messy in the way that the combination of sex and sleep always provided. The comforter had slipped down in the night, revealing to the chill of the morning the strong muscles of Emily’s back which had been decorated by JJ’s scratch marks. She always looked so at peace in the mornings before she woke, before the complications and the chaos and the heaviness of the job took over. 

JJ leaned forward to press a feather-light kiss to her forehead before she carefully crawled out of bed. She padded over to Emily’s dresser where she pulled out her favorite oversized t-shirt, one from Emily’s days at Georgetown that was just large enough to keep her covered but not enough to swallow her whole. Emily always made sure it was washed for her, JJ never had to ask. She went to the kitchen and carried on with her normal Saturday morning routine: starting coffee and cutting the fruit her and Emily would eat with the oatmeal Emily always made (JJ called her old for it, Emily said she just didn’t have good taste). 

Halfway through cutting an apple, she heard her phone buzz on the coffee table in the living room. She set the knife down and collected her clothes that had been haphazardly discarded last night on the way, and picked up the phone to see a message from Will. Her heart sank. She almost felt guilt. 

Will:Hey babe, I’m taking the boys out for the day, no need to hurry home. I’ll bring home take out tonight, we can have a movie night. We love you ❤️

Attached was a photo of Will and the boys, both of them snuggled up to him in bed having clearly woken him up early. Her heart melted at the sight of two boys who were almost identical to her smiling next to the man that would burn down the entire world for all three of them. 

She didn’t hear Emily come up behind her, but she felt arms wrap around her waist and she immediately felt at home, grounded back to her time with Emily. She kissed her neck, nipping lightly at her pulse point while she pulled her flush to her body.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” she mumbled into her neck, “Have I told you how sexy you look in my t-shirt?” 

“Good morning, Em,” she said quietly, leaning into the contact. It wasn’t her usual response, not with Emily and the night they had, anyways. 

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked, settling her chin on JJ’s shoulder. 

JJ sighed, “Will texted.” She felt Emily tense at the mention of his name. “He’s taking the boys out for the day and bringing home takeout tonight.” 

“I see,” Emily said, something close to bitterness in her voice. JJ knew bringing him up made this whole thing harder than it already was. The only time Will could be brought up was by Emily on her terms, and it never happened when they were fully clothed. 

“I’m sorry Em it’s just…sometimes I do feel bad. He’s a good father…a great one. It’s hard, you know?” 

Emily let go of JJ, turning back and walking to the kitchen. She grabbed the container of oats out of the kitchen, setting it down with more force than necessary, causing JJ to flinch. “No, I don’t know.” 

“Em, please don’t be like this,” she said, setting her clothes on the couch before walking into the kitchen. 

“Be like what?” 

“Like this. Upset,” she said, gesturing to Emily who was moving around the kitchen with a force that only came up when she was upset. 

“I didn’t bring him up.” 

“Emily, I’m sorry. Hey, will you just stop for a second, please?” JJ asked, catching her wrist and stopping her furry of cooking.

“What, JJ?” 

She pulled Emily closer, wrapping her arms around her neck and looking her in the eyes. “Can we please just drop this and enjoy the extra time we have together? I don’t want to argue about him, I want to be here. With You.” 

Emily raised an eyebrow, tightening her hold on JJ’s waist, “Extra time?” 

JJ nodded, “Yes, extra time. I don't need to be home anytime soon. Just please, don’t think about him. Think about our breakfast, the fact that we can go spend a lazy morning in bed, the shower we’ll take later. We’ll have a good day.” 

Emily smirked, “Okay, deal. But I don’t want to hear you complaining about me making you tired, Jareau.” 

“I would never,” she smiled, kissing Emily gently. “I love you. But I never get the oatmeal right and I’m starting to get hungry, so I’m gonna keep cutting my fruit.” 

“And I’ll make the oatmeal you always undercook,” Emily said, lightly smacking JJ’s ass as she moved past her.

“Hey! Not always. I overcooked it once.” 

“And that was the day you got permanently banned from oatmeal duty.” 

JJ giggled as she picked up the knife, easily falling back into their normal Saturday morning rhythm. Emily’s kitchen was her sanctuary for a life she could never have. It was easy, it made her happy, and despite their argument she still looked forward to falling into Emily’s arms after they ate. She felt real love when it came to Emily, love that was messy and raw and almost undefinable. The kind of love she was supposed to feel for Will. 

When Emily finished the oatmeal, JJ portioned the fruit while Emily made their coffee. She made JJ’s as she always took it: 3 sugars and a splash of her favorite oat creamer she kept at Emily’s. It was the perfect contrast to how Emily made hers: no sugar, and a slightly heavy pour of that same creamer she swore she didn’t like. JJ pretended not to notice she stopped using milk years ago. 

They sat at the island talking about a little bit of everything, stealing kisses and bites of each other’s food. The kitchen was lively with their laughter, the smell of oatmeal hanging in the air long after the two had emptied their bowls. JJ played with the hem of Emily’s shirt that sat midway down her thigh, feeling Emily’s hand rubbing small circles on her own. 

“Can we go get back in bed pretty please?” JJ asked, pouting her lip and giving Emily her signature puppy dog eyes. 

“I guess, princess,” Emily said, giving her a soft kiss. 

JJ smiled as she got up, grabbing Emily’s hand and practically dragging her back to the bedroom. She hopped on her side of the bed, closely followed by Emily who immediately captured her lips in a heated kiss. What followed was a hot and heavy make-out session complete with wandering hands and the desire for more. When Emily’s mouth drifted from JJ’s down to her neck, JJ wasted no time begging for Emily to fuck her. Emily, in return, wasted no time pushing up the hem of JJ’s shirt and ruining her with her fingers. 

They spent the better part of an hour trading orgasms, shirts never fully making their way off of bodies. After she came for the last time, JJ curled up in the bed tucked into Emily’s side. Emily’s hand started to wander underneath of JJ’s shirt again, tracing patters as it moved. 

“Hey,” JJ giggled, “that’s enough, you fiend. Paws off.” 

“I have no idea what it is you’re talking about, Jennifer,” Emily muttered in the voice that always put JJ right under her spell as she shifted her body, pressing JJ into the mattress. 

“Emily,” she sighed, feeling her lips make contact with her neck, “I’ve already had three.” She lightly tried to pull Emily’s hand, which was now palming her boob, away from her, putting up no real protest. 

“What’s a fourth, then?” She replied, sucking on JJ’s pulse point, light enough to not leave a mark. 

She hummed at the contact, “If you want…to shower together later…then you should stop,” she managed between ragged breaths. 

Emily immediately froze, pulling back to look at JJ with a raised eyebrow. “You serious?” 

“Mostly…Keep your hands above the belt and we can keep this up until that shower happens.” 

Emily smirked, “Deal.” 

“I didn’t know it was physically possible to make out with someone for that long and still have the energy to shower together,” JJ said, braiding her hair while watching Emily towel off in the mirror. 

“It’s not my fault you make me feel like a horny teenage boy,” Emily said, pulling on fresh underwear. 

“Personally I love that you can’t keep your hands off of me,” she smiled, grabbing her clothes from her bag and dropping her towel. She felt Emily’s eyes on her body, taking in every inch. They had spent the better part of their morning completely wrapped up in one another, and Emily still had that look in her eye that was almost bloodthirsty. 

“God, JJ, can you blame me? Look at you…” 

“Easy, tiger. Five orgasms in one morning is a lot, I still have to go home and pretend like you didn’t just have me forgetting my own name.” 

“Fine, but I’m going to miss you. I’m not going to get to have you like this for another week,” Emily said. 

“I know, babe. But think, things have been calm this weekend, we’ll probably have a case by Tuesday. Then you get me all to yourself for another few days.” 

Emily sighed, “You’re right. I just wish I could have you all of the time. I feel like we’re just making up for lost time every time were together.” 

“I know and I’m sorry. Just know that I love you. And one day when the boys are grown, if you still want this, want me, we can give it a real shot. Give us a real shot.”  

Emily nodded and kissed JJ softly, “I love you too, Jay. I’m going to go grab your clothes from the living room for you, I’ll be right back.” 

JJ nodded and watched Emily go, barely catching the way that she wiped a tear from her eye when she left the room. This was when JJ felt the guilt. Not for her husband, but for Emily. Emily rarely slept with other people, had never entertained the idea of another girlfriend since her and JJ started this…whatever they were doing. Emily claimed to be fine with it, said that she was happy with JJ in any capacity that she could have her, but she knew that wasn’t the full truth. Anytime life outside of Emily’s apartment was mentioned, it affected her. Empty promises of one day never helped, and JJ couldn’t expect them to. 

When Emily walked back into the room there was something mischievous etched into her face, a smirk to complete the look. It looked as if she had completely forgotten about their interaction minutes prior. 

“Hey Jayje,” she said, “I have a fun little game for you to play.” 

“What is it?” JJ asked, raising eyebrow. 

“Ya know that cute little set you wore for me last night?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well, date night with Will is on Sunday night, right?”

“Yes…Emily, where is this going?” 

“I want you to wear it for him.” 

JJ blinked at her. “What?”

“I want you to wear it for him. Let him take it off you. And I want you to think about everything I did to you in it,” she smirked, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

JJ’s breath caught in her throat, watching Emily eye her like she was something to be possessed, to be claimed. While Will’s claim over JJ could be physical, Emily owned her silently. Emily claimed her mind, the way that only she could get JJ's body to react, the way she laid claim over even her interactions with her husband. JJ was obsessed with all of the different, subtle ways Emily found to possess her. 

She nodded, voice barely above a whisper, “Okay.” 

“I want to hear all about it next time were together,” she smirked, handing JJ back her clothes before kissing her like she was only hers.

Chapter Text

I wanna feel guilty
I wanna feel that it’s wrong
I wanna feel peace again
Wanna sing a different song

JJ’s nerves were on edge for date night as she got dressed. She was eager to obey Emily as she pulled on the white lace set that she had bought for her and looked in the mirror. The only thing she could think about was Emily’s hands, the way they couldn’t stay off of her long after the lingerie had been tossed to the floor. She wondered if Will would appreciate it even half as much as Emily did, if he would remove the pieces with the same admiration that she had or if he would just get them out of the way as quickly as possible. 

She let out a breath and turned back to her closet, sorting through the variety of clothes she had hanging. She settled on something simple: a black, loosely fitted dress that dipped in all the right places, one that Emily had once said made her look like ‘such a tease' even though she was almost fully covered. She paired it with a short pair of heels, just enough to be considered nice while not pushing her to the point of discomfort. She left her hair down after running the straightener through it a few times and went with a makeup look that made her appear effortless in all the right ways. She knew how to look the part of the perfect wife. 

Too bad all she would be thinking about was the way Emily felt when she was buried deep inside her pussy. 

Will walked into the bedroom as JJ grabbed her purse, smiling at his wife, “You look stunning, babe.” 

“Thank you. Did my mom leave with the boys?” she asked, turning to face him.

“Yep, she just left with them. Our reservations are in an hour at that new Italian place downtown. We can leave whenever you’re ready,” accent slurring his words as he put a hand on the small of her back.

“Then lets go,” she said, leaning up to kiss him before heading out of the bedroom. 

Will followed JJ out to the car and opened her door for her. She kissed him like a good wife does when her husband is kind. She got in the car and watched as Will shut her door and waked around to the driver’s side. As he drove, his hand stayed on her thigh as they carried on casual conversation. They talked about the boys, projects they needed to do around the house, and Will’s least favorite coworker’s shenanigans. It was nice, it was normal. It was nothing like the conversation she would be having with Emily. 

Dinner was much of the same, though there was a noticeable shift in tone to something much more flirty on both sides of the table. JJ tried to enjoy herself, to lean into the time she had here with Will. This was the man that she loved who gave her the life that she loved, the least she could do was pretend to be present and happy to be there with him. 

Still, all her mind could think about was what she was wearing underneath of her dress and who she really belonged to at the end of the day. 

“Hey babe, are you alright? You seem a little antsy tonight,” Will asked, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Yeah, I just missed you this weekend and I can’t wait to get home,” she smiled, finishing what was left of her pasta. 

It wasn’t a lie. In fact, it was the absolute truth, though she was excited to play Emily's game more than she was to spend any time with him.

“Jennifer Jareau, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he chuckled. 

She just smirked and raised her eyebrow, polishing off her glass of wine. 

Dinner had been finished, the bill had been paid, and JJ walked out of the restaurant with her hand in Will’s. The wine had settled itself as a flush in her cheeks, gently warming her body and buzzing quietly in her head. 

The drive home consisted of talk of wine and pasta and the importance of a good sauce, and a look in JJ’s eyes that could only be described as hunger. In fact, she was starving. She could feel the lace of her underwear clinging to sensitive skin, the tight press of her thighs against one another as she tried to push back her arousal. As Will slowed to a stop for a red light, he put a hand on JJ’s thigh and she swore on everything that they’d be lucky to make it to the bedroom. 

All she could remember was the way Emily’s hands felt as they touched her stomach, her hips, as they parted her thighs and held her still, open. The way her tongue felt when her head was between her thighs, the way her teeth felt as grazed her body. 

Will pulled into their driveway and it took everything JJ had in her to not jump on top of him right there. She got out of the car making her way to the door on slightly unsteady legs. Will was several steps behind her, close enough to be known yet far enough away to keep her heartbeat hammering in her chest. She unlocked the front door, dropping her keys in the bowl and toeing off her heels by the door. She heard Will behind her, closing the door, locking it, slipping out of his own shoes and setting his keys in the bowl. 

The second she heard them clink against the glass, she was on him. The kiss was heated and hurried, leaving no room for protest or slowing things down. Will put his hands on her waist, firm and grounding, and pulled her in flush with his body. She could feel him hardening against her, and she wasted no time sliding a hand between them and stroking him through his pants. 

“God, JJ, what’s gotten into you?” he mumbled against her mouth before moving his efforts to her neck. 

She sighed, making quick work of his belt buckle, “Does it really matter?” 

Will kissed her again and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, belt pressing cold metal to her thighs, prongs leaving imprints with the little bit of pain she so desperately craved. 

Will led them to the bedroom, mouth connected to JJ’s the whole time, careful not to trip on toys scattered throughout the living room. He kicked their bedroom door closed, tossing JJ on the bed. She yelped as her frame hit the mattress, looking up at Will as he took off his belt, making a show of it. JJ bit her lip as she watched him take off his shirt, then unzip and unbutton his pants. He pushed down his pants and underwear, cock standing at attention the second it was exposed. JJ immediately pulled off her dress, tossing it somewhere in the bedroom, leaving her in the white lace originally bought for Emily. 

Will said nothing, just drank in the sight of her as he moved closer. JJ wanted more from him, wanted him to call her pretty and get that look like Emily did when she had laid eyes on the outfit, but he said nothing. She wanted to watch him fight the urge to rip it off of her while drooling all over himself over how she looked in it.

Instead, Will looked her over like she was his, almost the exact same way that Emily gazed upon her. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra, gently pulling it off of her before pushing her back into the bed much more harshly. He kissed his way down her body starting with her chest and ending near her thighs, leaving several hickeys as he made his way down. It was clear he enjoyed the little gasps and whimpers leaving his wife, and JJ did not hesitate to make her pleasure known. 

He finally hooked his fingers in the sides of her panties, roughly pulling them down her legs before discarding them behind him. He still hadn’t said anything about how she had looked in the set, one that was so clearly different than what she normally wore on date night. And that annoyed JJ, she had so clearly put in more effort than normal and he just ignored it. 

He parted her legs just like Emily had a few nights before, settling down on his knees and gazing upon her glistening cunt. 

“Jesus, JJ, you’re soaked,” he said, voice low and accent blurring his words. 

She just nodded, one hand threading through his hair as the other gripped the comforter next to her in anticipation. 

He ran his tongue through wet folds, gentle at first, then applying more pressure on his second pass. JJ groaned, low and desperate, hips seeking out more contact almost immediately. Will went to work as he always did, focusing his efforts on her clit while two fingers curled inside of her in the most devastating spots. 

She had been so worked up at the thought of Emily that it didn’t take long for the heat pooling in her lower belly to quickly become too much, threatening to break much faster than usual. On a normal night, she’d tell Will she was close and she’d let him pull away, leaving her all hot and bothered for the next act. But tonight she pressed his face closer, bucked her hips harder, and chased the high that was so quickly approaching her. 

Before she knew it her orgasm slammed into her and she came with a strangled cry, thighs trembling around Will’s face as she held him exactly where she wanted him. She swore all she could see was stars, and she knew Will felt the wetness coat his face, knew that she had been greedy with her own orgasm. But he also knew that she hadn’t came that hard with him in months. 

When JJ finally came down from her high and released Will from her clutches, he stood and looked down at his breathless wife, skin flushed with a fine sheen of sweat. JJ noticed as his eyes devoured her, and she sure didn’t mind it. 

“Do you need a break, babe? Are you okay?” he asked, raising and eyebrow.

She nodded before flipping herself over, settling on her hands and knees. All she could think about was the way that Emily filled her, the way she fucked her, the way she had forgotten her own name and any words that weren’t ‘more’ and ‘fuck’ and ‘yes please.’ She couldn’t help but be filled with a need that Will couldn’t fulfill, and she needed to look at something that wasn’t the man she married so she could take herself right back to Friday night in Emily’s bed. 

“Don’t stop fucking me,” she demanded, looking back at Will who genuinely seemed shocked at her actions, but didn’t hesitate to push his cock inside of her. She groaned at the feeling as Will began thrusting, picturing it was Emily behind her. He grabbed her hips, setting a pace that should’ve taken her breath away if Emily hadn’t completely ruined her. 

“Fuck me harder,” she whined, letting her head drop forwards. Will obeyed, grunting as he fucked harder, deeper, grabbing a fistful of her hair. 

JJ moaned loud, switching between some variation of “yes, yes yes,” and “oh fuck” as she got lost in the image of Emily filling her from behind. She was more turned on in that moment than she had been from her husband in years, and she wasn’t about to feel guilty when she was on the brink of one of the best orgasms she had ever had with him inside of her. 

“Don’t, fuck— don’t fucking stop,” she commanded between breaths and rugged moans, feeling herself clench even harder around Will inside of her. 

With a few more thrusts JJ was cumming with nothing short of a scream, falling forward into the mattress as Will fucked her through it. She could practically feel him twitching inside of her, nearing his own release. 

“Cum in me,” she moaned, nearly tearing the bedsheets off the corner with how hard she was gripping them, “I want to feel you cum in me.” 

Seconds later, JJ felt warm liquid filling her as Will pulled her hips flush against him, completely emptying himself inside of her before pulling out. JJ was dazed, sure she had never been fucked so well by her husband, and slowly eased herself down onto the bed. She knew that if she didn’t make it to the shower soon, she was going to absolutely ruin the bedding beneath her. 

“Jesus, JJ,” Will said, flopping onto the bed next to her, “What got into you tonight?” he asked, completely taken with the way JJ had begged, wanted it rough, and practically commanded him to fuck her in exactly the way she wanted to be. The way Emily would’ve fucked her. 

She shrugged as a mischievous grin plastered itself on her face as she looked her husband up and down, “Sometimes a girl just has needs.” 

“Well, if you ever need like that again, please let me know. That was some of the best sex we’ve ever had.” 

“Will do, babe. I am going to go shower, don’t feel like you have to wait up for me,” she said standing up. Her legs felt like jello, but she needed to put some distance between them immediately. “I love you,” she smiled back at him, careful to keep her voice steady as she walked to the bathroom. 

“Alright, babe. I love you, too.”

Truthfully, the comment about this being the “best sex they’d ever had” sent a pang through her chest that she couldn’t face while laying next to him. He was right, this had quite possibly been the best sex they had ever had. But it was just like the sex she had with Emily, and she had just directed her husband of years on just how to fuck her like the woman she was in love with did every Friday night for nearly twice as long as their marriage had been. And the worst part of it all was that, compared to the sex she had with Emily, this night wouldn’t have even ranked in her top five.

She started the shower as felt the slow, telltale drip of a night spent with her husband making its way down her thigh. She quickly grabbed a fresh towel before she got into the shower, letting the hot water roll over her skin, washing away the remnants of date night. With it she sent her feelings of almost guilt, knowing that there was no room for those emotions if she was going to keep up this thing with Emily. 

She wanted to dedicate herself to her, she really did, but two kids and a husband complicated that. She wanted to have a domestic life with Emily, raise her boys, and maybe even adopt a child of their own that they could raise, no strings attached to Will. But her second pregnancy had complicated things further, added years to the hypothetical timeline of the end of her marriage, and she really had no clue how she would go about telling her sons that Aunt Emmy and Mommy were dating. She was sure that would have thrown them for a loop and be almost impossible for them to really understand, especially poor Micheal who had finally learned to pronounce the ‘E’ in ‘Emmy’ correctly. 

She packed up all her feelings and packed them away in a box in the back of her mind, labeled with the words ‘Do Not Open.’ She was a good wife, she had to tell herself that she was, anyways. It was the only way to get through mundane weeks until the weekend hit again. 

She turned off the shower, got out, and dried herself off before wrapping the towel carefully around herself. When she walked back out into the bedroom, she noticed that Will had cleaned up their mess of discarded clothes before he had dozed off, now with more clothing, she was sure. She had pulled out a t-shirt from Will’s drawer and thrown on a basic pair of black panties, ones she was sure would have gotten the same amount of appreciation from her husband as the lace set she wore did. Yep, she was still annoyed about that. As if she hadn’t bought them for someone else completely. 

She hung the towel on the hook in the bathroom before she crawled in bed next to her sleeping husband. Here, alone in the dark, she could picture a life entirely outside of the one she had. The one free of complicated feelings had she just been honest with what she wanted a decade ago, if FBI policy hadn’t scared her, if the concept of embracing the sexuality she had ignored since that one woman in college hadn’t terrified her. Here, in the dark, she could imagine Jennifer Jareau as someone she truly respected, as someone who didn’t occasionally disgust her with the two separate lives she was living. Maybe someday she could settle into the life she wanted, the one she often imagined. But for now, she’d settle into the dark next to the man that loved her like she was the only person in the room. A room that would never be empty of Emily. 

The next morning went the same was it always did. Wake up, get the boys up, go for a run, come back, eat breakfast, make sure the boys get on the bus, go to work. It was easy, and it made sure she didn’t have much time to think about Will or Emily. That was the way she preferred it. 

On the elevator up to the BAU, she tried to center herself. Work wasn’t the time for Emily or for Will. Here, there was only space for the victims and consults and mindless cups of coffee to keep her mind just buzzed enough. She released a breath as she stepped off of the elevator and into the chaos that was the office at 8:15 in the morning. It was the perfect distraction. 

She sat her bag down on her desk and sat in the chair. This was easy, familiar, and could keep her mind off of the fact that last night she was getting fucked by her husband in the same way that another woman fucked her. The woman whose office above hers. She typed in her password, settling into the day, and the blue FBI screen filled the monitor. 

She got to work, filling out reports and replying to emails like she wasn’t trying her best to hold it all together. She glanced down to the time: 8:53am. Emily was due back from her morning debrief anytime now, and she would inevitably walk past JJ’s desk and send her into a spiral. But she was determined to make sure that didn’t happen today. 

She heard her before she saw her, could feel her presence in the room. The footsteps were soft at first, growing louder with each step. Then she was next to her desk, looking down at her, pulling her in in a way that no one else could really see. 

“Good morning, Jayje. Hope the paperwork isn’t too much today,” Emily said with a gentle smile. 

“Good morning, Em. Just finishing up a report from the last case and assisting on a few consults. Nothing too awful,” she smiled back. 

“Good. Well, I’ll be in my office if you need anything. Will you send Tara into my office when she gets here? I have a few questions about her field report from the last case.” 

“Of course,” JJ said, still smiling. 

Emily just nodded and headed up the stairs to her office. 

God, how was JJ supposed to focus when just the sight of her boss brought back memories of the weekend she had spent with her and then her own husband? She had other things to focus on, lives to protect, but every so often her mind couldn’t help but drift back to the way she felt when Emily was buried inside of her, the way she felt when she was pretending that it was Emily filling her instead of her husband. 

She had made up her mind somewhere between Emily’s arrival and lunch that she needed to have Emily inside of her before she saw Will again. She had sworn she had never been this horny in her entire life, and she knew that he would do nothing to fix how she had been feeling every time she looked at Emily. 

She submitted a report and looked in the corner of her screen to see the time: 11:42am. Perfect time to bring Emily her lunch and tell her just how badly she needs to see her after work. She stood from her desk and stretched, arms over her head causing her shirt to ride up and show the littlest sliver of skin. If Emily was looking, she noticed. And if she noticed, JJ knew she’d be going crazy over it. 

“I’m going to head to the cafe downstairs and grab lunch, do you want anything?” JJ asked, looking over at Tara who had been buried in case reports ever since she walked in. 

Tara looked up, pushing her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, “Can you grab me a latte? Plain is fine, I just need the caffeine.” 

“Of course. Where are Luke and Garcia?” 

“They’re both out getting lunch together,” Tara said, giving JJ a knowing look. 

JJ rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips, “Those two need to hurry up and make things official already. I cannot keep pretending that they aren’t going on dates during office hours.” 

“I know, it’s like they think were blind or something!” 

“You know, I might believe them if they didn’t look at each other like that all the time.” 

“What do you mean, like that?” 

“Don’t play dumb Lewis, the same way you look at that cute little DOJ lawyer when she walks in, like you’ve seen her naked and can’t wait to see it again. What’s her name? Rebecca?” she teased.

Even through the tan of her skin, JJ could see Tara’s cheeks flush, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Jareau.” 

“Sure ya don’t,” JJ smirked, grabbing her wallet from her purse. “I’ll be back in a few.” 

Tara just nodded, busying herself with her paperwork to brush past her embarrassment of being caught by JJ. JJ had been all too familiar with the look herself, it was the one she had for months after they had first slept together. She didn’t even realize it until Emily had pulled her into a supply closet and told her to ‘stop eye-fucking her’ in the middle of the bullpen before it got them into real trouble. 

It took JJ another two weeks to get her gaze under control. 

When JJ reached the line in the cafe, she ordered three drinks: one Americano iced with a splash of cream, one iced vanilla oat milk latte, and one plain hot latte. She then ordered a chicken cesar salad for herself and a turkey avocado sandwich for Emily. 

While she waited, she contemplated what it was she was really about to do. She was bringing a sandwich as a bribe and begging to come over, to be used, to feel something with Emily that she should feel with her husband. JJ was about to break one of the few rules they actually had: no mentions of their affair at work, behind closed doors or otherwise. She knew she would be getting in some kind of trouble, but she didn’t care. Getting in Emily’s bed was the only thing she cared about right now. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her name called across the cafe. She picked up the bag of food and the tray of drinks with a smile, thanking the young woman who had handed them to her before she made her way back up the semi-crowded elevator. It was always almost too busy at this time of day. 

She set Tara’s latte down on her desk, offering a sympathetic smile at her as she seemed to become increasingly annoyed with the person on the other end of the phone. She then made her way to Emily’s office, knocking lightly before entering. 

“I come bearing lunch,” she said, kicking the door closed behind her. 

Emily looked up at her, eying her suspiciously. JJ usually didn’t bring Emily cafe lunch when they both knew they both knew she had left two perfectly good packed lunches abandoned in the fridge. 

JJ’s breath hitched at the way Emily looked at her, and she felt the want only growing stronger. She would be glad to be bent over her desk right now, HR rules and regulations be damned. But instead of dropping her clothing right there, she carefully crossed the room and closed the blinds, feeling Emily’s eyes track her the entire time. 

“Hmm…cafe lunch, my coffee order, and closing the blinds? What has gone wrong out there?” Emily asked. 

“Oh, nothing, actually. Things are running smoothly,” she said, settling on Emily’s side of her desk, just off center. They were definitely closer than they should be. 

Emily raised an eyebrow, looking over the blonde who was perched a little too comfortably on the edge of her desk. “What do you want, Jennifer?” she asked, voice dropping to the octave she only used when they were alone. It sent a rush of warmth right through the other woman. 

JJ took a deep breath, "I want to come over tonight.” 

“On a Monday?”

JJ nodded. 

“What about your husband?” 

“I’ll tell him there was an error in the system, some reports were logged incorrectly and you need my help to fix them. He won’t suspect anything, just that we changed from the office to your home office where we can have a glass of wine while we sort through everything.” 

Emily smirked, “He wasn’t enough for you last night, was he?” she asked, standing in front of JJ. 

JJ shook her head. 

Emily drug her eyes over JJ’s body slowly and she took in a breath. Emily was watching her like she way prey, and it took every bit of JJ’s restraint to not kiss her where she stood. She shifted on the desk, legs parting just slightly as she felt her panties cling to her center. 

“You’re wet aren’t you?” 

JJ said nothing. She couldn’t. 

She felt hands, gentle yet firm, rucking up the end of her skirt, settling it just underneath of her hip bones before two fingers ran themselves over the damp underwear at her center and over her clit. She bit her lip to suppress the moan that nearly escaped. 

“Jesus Christ, Jennifer. It’s barely even noon and you’ve already soaked through your panties?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you, Emily…” 

“Do you know how much trouble you’re going to be in for making me do this at work?” She asked, pushing up her sleeves. JJ just nodded again, gripping the edge of the desk even harder. 

“I better not hear a sound out of you. If I hear anything, I stop and you go right back to your desk, do you understand me?” 

“Yes ma’am,” JJ said, voice breathy. 

“Good,” she said, stepping between JJ’s thighs, fingers retracing a similar path through her lace-clad center. She leaned closer to JJ’s ear, lowering her voice. “When you leave tonight, go straight to my apartment,” she said, slipping her hand inside the lace to tease the younger woman’s clit. JJ’s legs twitched involuntarily. “Get in the bed in just your panties, and you wait for me. I’ll deal with you when I get home. Do you understand?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Emily placed a kiss just below her ear before she whispered “Good girl,” sliding two fingers inside of JJ. She gasped, pulling Emily closer by the back of her neck. “Be quiet,” Emily commanded, pushing them deeper inside of her. 

JJ nodded, leaning her head on Emily’s shoulder as her fingers moved inside of her. All she could focus on was the feeling of Emily’s fingers curling in on the right spots, her thumb bumping her clit at all of the right times. She was seconds from exploding, her heavy breathing and almost-whimpers only spurring Emily on. Her hand that was gripping the desk flew to Emily’s arm, trying to communicate that she was seconds away from her orgasm without crying out. 

Emily knew JJ was close to shattering on her fingers, she just doubled down on her efforts and used her free hand to steady one of JJ’s thighs, keeping her open. Within seconds, JJ’s was muffling herself in Emily’s shoulder as she came, thighs shaking as she coated her fingers and her own panties in her wetness. Emily pulled out her fingers, licking them clean before kissing JJ gently on the forehead as she came down from her high. 

“Go sit down and eat, babe, I’ll clean this up.” 

It astounded JJ, really, that Emily could have complete and total control over her, tell her exactly what to do, and then be so gentle immediately on the other side of it. Especially since she had broken more than one rule. 

She hadn’t been able to think of anything else but Emily's fingers all day. They had never crossed that line in the office before, especially not when anyone could walk in at any minute. Emily was clinical about it, no risk of smudged lipstick, running mascara, or messy hair. Just a flushed JJ, sitting in a chair and eating her salad. It was hot and if she was honest, she would have let Emily do more to her right there, but then she remembered everything they were risking for this to work out. One coworker finding out could lead to suspensions, transfers, and divorces that she just couldn’t deal with.

Her body was still buzzing as the day was winding to a close. She checked the time: 4:37pm. She would be leaving for Emily’s soon and she still needed to call Will and tell him that she would be home late tonight. She stood and made her way to an empty interrogation room for some privacy. She took out her phone and opened his contact, staring at the picture of him and the boys that he had sent just the other day. She felt bad for leaving them, but they were more independent now, needed less from her. And it was just going to be a few hours, she planned to be home for bedtime. She dialed Will's number and held the phone up to her ear, waiting for him to pick up. 

“Hello?” he answered in that familiar southern drawl. 

“Hey babe, how are you and the boys?” she asked. 

“We're doing good, Micheal just went down for his after school nap and Henry is snacking on some apples and watching some cartoons. What’s goin’ on with you?” 

JJ sighed, really playing up her part of the stressed FBI agent, “Well there was some kind of glitch in the system. Some reports got partially deleted and Garcia couldn’t recover all of them. Emily and I are sorting through them and re-doing what we can, but it’s going to take a while. We’re gonna head to her place soon to finish them up, but I should be home before 8:00. Is that okay?” 

He paused for a second, and she was unsure if he was going to say yes or not, which was strange. He almost always just went along with what she had asked, especially when it came to work and emergency situations.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Can you please make sure you’re home by 8? The boys miss you," he said, seeming slightly annoyed.

“Yeah babe, I promise. Just a glass of wine while we try to finish these up and then I’ll be home, okay?” she said, trying her best to convey something near sincerity.

“Alright," he sighed.

“Okay, well I’ll see you at home. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

She hung up, letting out the breath she had been holding, pushing away those lingering feelings of nervousness and almost-guilt. Will didn’t know, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t. Her and Emily had been close since before her and Will had started dating, girl’s nights together were normal, working late together was normal. As far as he knew JJ was straight and wanted Will more than anything. And well, he wasn’t completely wrong. Just mostly. 

She walked back to her desk and quietly packed up her things, the evening buzz of the bullpen lulling itself to a quiet hum for the night. There were only three people left: her, Luke, and Emily. The fairly usual suspects. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t gone home to Roxy yet, it’s late even for you,” JJ said, slipping a file into her bag before grabbing her jacket. 

“Yeah, I’m just trying to finish up this report. It took the Charlotte office forever to send over the final supplementals I needed, so I’m just now getting to finish up my report,” Luke sighed.  

JJ nodded, knowing the feeling of being delayed because of another agent’s lack of urgency, “I see. Well, don’t stay too late,” she said, patting his shoulder as she walked by. 

“Same could be said for you, Jareau. Tell the boys and Will I said hi.” 

“I will,” she smiled, walking through the glass doors towards the elevator. 

Her arousal hadn’t subsided after she left Emily’s office earlier that day, if anything it only intensified. She had sat and watched Emily bring her water, give her a gentle kiss on the forehead, and clean up any trace that JJ had left on her desk. She ate her lunch with quiet conversation about the boys and her weekend and in another world this was perfect. In another world this was out in the open and she could walk out of Emily’s office to Tara and Luke teasing her while she swore that nothing happened as her cheeks turned pink and a bruise the shape of Emily’s mouth bloomed beneath her collar bone. 

But this wasn’t that life and her fantasy had been shattered by a knock on the door by another agent looking for something from Emily again. 

When she pulled into the parking lot of Emily’s apartment building, she could feel the anticipation taking over her body even further. She greeted the door man like usual, chose to take the stairs instead of the elevator this time, and used the spare key that Emily had given her ages ago to let herself in. 

She had closed the door behind her gently and turned the bottom lock, setting her purse down on the table next to the front door. Her breath caught at the domesticity of it all. They had done this before when Emily got pulled into a last minute meeting or stopped to grab their food on their way back to her place. But for some reason, today felt different. She had crossed a line that she could not come back from, and that terrified her. But maybe something about it also felt right.

She took in the apartment in front of her that, at times, felt more like home than her own place did. It was filled with memories of them in such a quiet way it was almost startling. The bowl on the kitchen island that held Emily's fruit was one JJ had bought her when she had arrived back from Paris, one that was a horrible color with an awful pattern that JJ had insisted “was Paris in the worst way” and Emily had incorporated it into every apartment she had lived in since. Pictures from all of their special events as a team were scattered throughout the place, almost always accompanied by a memory of the two stealing a moment away for themselves to slip away and let hands wander places they shouldn’t. Then there was the throw blankets that Emily had bought with JJ in mind, making sure they were soft and fluffy and something they both could get lost under during heated moments on the couch. Their lives bled together here in devastating ways they couldn’t in any other space. 

If she closed her eyes, she could almost see it. The life they were supposed to be lost in. The one that had been lost to time and stubbornness and a marriage she wasn’t sure she ever believed in. Here, they shared the messy parts, tucked away where no one could see them. 

She wasted time by grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, setting them on the bathroom counter. She grabbed a towel and a wash cloth, settling them next to her clothes, and pulled her few bathroom products from underneath of the sink. She walked back to the kitchen and grabbed two water bottles and headed back to the bedroom, setting one on each bedside table. She then stripped to nothing but her underwear, folding her clothes and placing them on the bedside table closest to the door. She settled down on the bed, head in the pillows, the chill of Emily’s apartment settling around her and coating her body in goosebumps. 

She was half-tempted to tuck herself under the blanket and keep warm until Emily got there. But that is not what Emily would want, she would want to walk in and see JJ covered in goosebumps, nipples hard and skin flushed in anticipation. She’d want her ready, not hidden. 

She checked the time on her phone, and by the looks of it she still had ten minutes until Emily got home. Her body was still wound tight from her encounter in Emily’s office and dying for any touch to give her some relief. She would hear the door open, right? There wasn’t much risk to keeping herself ready for the next few minutes until Emily was there to take care of her…

She slipped a hand underneath the waistband of her panties, sighing when her fingers brushed over her over-sensitive clit. Her strokes were light and languid, teasing just enough to be more than nothing, but no where near enough to risk her climax. Her fingers dipped to her entrance, coating them in wetness before moving back up to continue stroking her clit. Her hand gripped the sheets lightly, occasionally letting out a sigh or a low groan while she worked herself up. 

She didn’t hear the front door open, Emily’s keys be set in the bowl, the boots being kicked off, nor the footsteps that came down the hall. Emily stood in the doorway for a second, taking in the image of JJ touching herself to what was no doubt the thought of what she would do to her. She smirked, hungry to have her crying out her name. 

“Jennifer, what on earth do you think you’re doing?” she asked, putting on a tuff, no-nonsense front.

Her eyes shot open and her head snapped to the side, staring at Emily in shock. Her face flushed a deep red, as she bit her lip, trying to think of any excuse she could. 

“Are you really that desperate that you couldn’t wait until I got here to take care of you?” she asked, voice low, almost predatory. She shrugged off her jacket, tossing it on the chair in the corner and walked up to JJ, who was still laying there frozen in the same position she had been. 

Emily wrapped her hand around JJ’s wrist, pulling it out from her panties and lifting her fingers to her mouth. She looked down at JJ whose lips were slightly parted and was staring up at her, eyes half-lidded, just waiting to see what Emily had in store for her. Emily took her fingers into her mouth, sucking the digits clean while maintaining eye contact. JJ moaned, feeling herself growing wetter by the second. 

When Emily finally released JJ’s fingers with a pop, she looked down at JJ, she smirked at just how gone she already was, and she hadn’t even touched her yet. “You’re such a desperate slut for me aren't you?” 

“Yes, Emily I need you…” JJ said in a breathy tone.

“Tell me about yesterday. What was so bad that you’re dripping for me today?” she asked, grip still tight around JJ's wrist.

“I put it on under the black dress I wore with you once, and he took me to dinner. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all night. When we finally got home I made sure he did things that you do, but he didn’t say anything about what I was wearing. He didn’t care. It was good, but it wasn’t you." JJ felt like she was whining, begging, even, to have Emily again and she hadn't even asked for her.

“Did you cum?” 

She nodded, “Twice.” 

Emily studied JJ, watching the way her chest was heaving, the way she was practically melting under her gaze. She dropped her wrist and grabbed her chin, thumb playing at her bottom lip as she moved closer, looking JJ deep into blue eyes that were glassy with want. 

“You belong to me, Jennifer. He will never touch you like I do, no matter how hard you try to make him satisfy you. You’re mine. Do you understand that?”JJ nodded again, watching Emily with an intensity she wasn’t aware she had. 

“Use your words, pretty girl.” 

“Yes ma’am,” she whimpered.  

“Good girl. I should send you home a desperate mess for him since I caught you touching yourself without permission. But I have to admit, watching you lay here and be so needy, it gets to me. So I am going to take what I need from you and if you get off, that’s great. But if not, you have to go home and beg your husband to make you feel half as good as I do. Do you understand?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Emily undressed herself slowly, watching JJ’s body buzz with want. She opened the drawer, grabbed the strap, and carefully affixed it to her hips. She walked back over to JJ, hooked her fingers into the side of her panties, and pulled them down harshly. JJ gasped, watching every movement Emily made. 

“Hands and knees,” Emily commanded, and JJ was quick to obey, scrambling to turn over. She felt hands run up the back of her thighs, fingers brushing over the wetness at her center. God, she couldn’t wait to have Emily inside of her. She felt the other woman's tongue lap at her wetness and her entire body trembled, eliciting a desperate cry from her throat. 

“Arms behind your back, baby girl,” Emily cooed, watching as JJ sank down, pressing her cheek to the mattress after she crossed her arms behind her back. Emily pinned them there before lining up with JJ, coating the head of her strap in JJ’s arousal before slowly burying herself inside of the woman beneath her. JJ’s face twisted into a silent cry as she felt herself be filled by Emily, completely powerless to the other woman who had her pinned down. 

“Fuck, Jen, you feel so fucking good,” Emily moaned, quickly setting a brutal pace. JJ was already shuddering beneath her, moaning as Emily’s cock hit all the right places deep within her. She had been thinking about being used by her all day, and now she felt greedy, felt herself tightening around Emily, wanting more of her. 

“Emily…” JJ whimpered. 

“What baby? What do you want? Use your words, pretty girl,” Emily panted.

“Harder, please harder,” she begged.  

“Good girl. My little slut wants fucked harder? God, you’re perfect,” she said, pounding into JJ harder than she was before. That sent her tumbling into her first orgasm, coating her and Emily’s thighs in her cum as Emily kept up her relentless pace. JJ was practically screaming now, feeling impossibly full as she felt herself slipping into her mindless head space as Emily continued to fuck her through her climax. 

“That’s right baby, let the neighbors know what a little slut you are. Let them hear that you’re all mine, that I’m the only one who gets you off like this,” Emily groaned.  

She reached around with her free hand to rub quick, clumsy circles across JJ’s clit. She knew she would send her into overstimulation quickly, that she’d be thrown straight into another orgasm, but she didn’t care. JJ was hers, and she needed to remember what she missed out on every time she crawled back home to Will. 

“Emily! Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she babbled, and as her second orgasm crashed over her, waves of pleasure pushing her further into the space where she could do nothing but feel. 

Emily still didn’t stop, nearing her own release. Her pace never wavered, and JJ was sure she was going to black out before Emily was finished with her. 

“I can’t—  fuck, Em I can’t.” 

Emily moved her hand from her clit to her chest, pulling JJ up and flush against her front, pinning JJ’s arms between them while she continued fucking her. Her hand on her chest wrapped gently around her throat, hard enough to be felt but not obstruct her breathing, while the other splayed across her stomach to keep her steady. 

“Yes you can baby, just one more. You can give me one more, you’re mine aren’t you? Let me hear you say it pretty girl,” she growled into her ear.  

“I’m yours, all yours, oh fuck,” she whined, hands splaying across Emily’s stomach behind her. 

“Good girl. Give me a color.” 

Before JJ could answer she was hit with her third orgasm and rendered speechless, body shaking in Emily’s arms. Emily followed shortly after, hips stuttering and slowing as they rode out the wave together. When JJ’s body finally calmed, she gently laid her down on the bed and took off the strap, peppering every inch of skin she could access in delicate kisses. 

“You did so good, honey. You’re absolutely perfect,” she murmured between kissed.

JJ hummed, reaching out to Emily and pulling her down on the bed, cuddling up close. They drew patterns on each other’s skin with their fingers as their bodies returned to equilibrium, knowing that their time together was quickly coming to a close. 

“We need to do your check in before you shower, Jayje.” She nodded. “How are you feeling?” 

“A seven. I’m so sensitive.” 

“Do you need me to do anything extra for you?” JJ shook her head. 

“Did anything make you upset or uncomfortable?” 

“No.” 

“Did you like how I talked to you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Is there something you want me to do more of?”

“Mixing praise and degradation was really nice…I know you don’t normally degrade me, but in this situation it was really hot. I’d like that if anything like this happens again,” JJ said, feeling a faint blush spread across her cheeks.  

Emily nodded, leaning down to gently kiss her. 

“Alright baby. Do you want me to shower with you?” 

“No, I’ll be okay. Thank you though.” 

After she gathered herself, she kissed Emily again gently and disappeared into the bathroom. The guilt crept up again as she shut Emily out again and prepared herself to go be the perfect wife to a man she wasn't sure she really loved.