Chapter 1: Pipe Smoke And Peppermints
Chapter Text
The smallest of changes can have consequences of the greatest proportions. One footman's misstep, and the battle is turned; one horseshoe nail is missing, and the war is lost; one less drop of soy sauce, and a single sodium ion does not reach the brain. . .
. . .and a neuron does not fire when it should, and Hiruzen Sarutobi, third Hokage of Konoha, nods off at his desk after another long night of stress and worry; the kind of night where even his ‘retired’ ANBU assistant, at her desk outside his office, is subtly easing her stinging eyestrain with a concealed trickle of healing chakra from her fingertips.
The Sandaime blinked. Did I just. . .?
Yes. I did.
He drew a long breath in through his nose, then exhaled, his lips puffing out slightly. That was it, then. He'd fallen asleep while working twice now in less than six months.
There was no room for that kind of error when you were Kage. Years ago, when he'd taken up the position again, he'd set a standard for himself: two such losses of control in six months or less meant it was time to retire. He'd already fallen asleep when he hadn't meant to less than three months earlier. It didn't matter if his lapse tonight had more to do with his personal relief at the improvement in Naruto's fortunes than his larger concerns as Hokage of Konoha; the result was the same.
It was time to choose his second successor, and step down again.
Long past time, in honesty, he thought.
He rose from his seat and went to face the wide bank of windows behind his desk, clasping his hands in the small of his back. There was – of course – no sign in the village below of the furor among the leading clans at the night's events. Using his crystal scrying ball, he'd already seen most of it, including Iruka-sensei's decision to graduate Naruto, and had agreed with the instructor's choice. The boy had more than earned his hitai-ite. . .or rather, his final test.
The question before the Sandaime now was who would administer it. There was still only one serious candidate available for his own replacement, but it would take careful maneuvering to arrange the necessary acceptance of the responsibility on all sides. . .he smiled. Yes. That would do nicely. And he had a horrifically believable threat immediately available if his worse distraction balked.
“Suzume,” the Hokage said quietly. A sparrow-masked ANBU emerged from the shadows and knelt behind him, whispering “Hai, Hokage-sama.”
“Direct ANBU control to recall Maneki-neko, triple urgent, single speed.”
“Hai, Hokage-sama.” The ANBU faded silently into the shadows again.
The Hokage turned to his desk and picked up his still-smoldering pipe. “Time to debrief Iruka-sensei,” he told the rest of his personal guard detail, and left his office for the hospital.
# # #
Iruka smiled contentedly at the ceiling of his private room. It was a little forced, but still more genuine than not. Even in Konoha, med-nin treatment was a premium service, and under normal circumstances, it would have put a noticeable dent in his savings. Since Mizuki had turned traitor, however, and Iruka had caught him literally in the act, the costs for healing the wounds he'd taken while doing so were being covered by the village's Defense fund. And best of all, Naruto-kun had finally shown his real potential! All in all, it had been a good night. He'd grieve for Mizuki later. . .when his rage at his former friend's betrayal had subsided enough.
There was a tap at his door, the kind of light, brisk hospital knock that said This is just a courtesy warning; we're coming in whether you like it or not. Iruka composed himself, putting on his usual professionally mild expression. A moment later, it was jolted back off again, briefly replaced by surprise as the Hokage ambled in, hat and all.
“Hokage-sama! Please forgive my incapacity-” Iruka said.
“No, no,” the Sandaime interrupted him, smiling fondly. “Don't bother yourself over the courtesies, Iruka-sensei; you've served Konoha better than well tonight.”
Two of the Hokage's guard detail slipped through the door, the second closing it behind them as the first began placing security seals on the walls. Once the room was warded, they both disappeared into the shadows.
Seals? What's this now? Iruka thought as the Hokage came to his bedside, still smiling.
“Hmm, hmm, Iruka-sensei. . .that said, perhaps not well enough, just yet. While I do agree with your decision to graduate Naruto, by doing so you've given me a bit of a conundrum with the team assignments. Since it's ultimately your fault, and therefore responsibility, as his sensei, I think it's only appropriate that you should solve it for me.”
Ohh. . .crap, Iruka thought. Despite his increasing dismay, he somehow managed to produce an obediently attentive look as the Hokage continued.
“We will of course be maintaining the Academy tradition of pairing the lowest and highest ranked students,” the Hokage said, “but now the intra-team dynamics I had anticipated no longer apply. . .which means I must reconsider the choice of the third member. While the Haruno girl would have been most appropriate for the original composition, I now find myself insufficiently informed to decide whether she should remain on Team 7 with both Naruto and Sasuke-kun, or be switched with another student. . .and if so, whom.
“Tell me, Iruka-sensei. . .what would you do in my position?”
Crap, double-crap, and bijuu-crap, Iruka thought, and then his brain caught up with the not-so-subtle hints in the Hokage's words and started working properly again. “I. . .Hokage-sama, as their sensei, I would. . .I recommend against placing Sakura-chan on Team 7. It would be. . .” he swallowed, steeling himself, then plowed forward, “it would result in fundamentally dysfunctional interactions for all three children. Naruto would continue to pursue Sakura-chan's affection and be rejected; Sakura-chan would continue to pursue Sasuke-kun's likewise, and Sasuke-kun, as a result, would withdraw even further from normal socialization. The team's emotional. . .circuitry. . .would remain unconnected, rendering its foundation unstable.”
The Hokage nodded once, then continued to stare down at him, letting the silence underscore the point that Iruka had yet to suggest a solution.
Iruka allowed his gaze to drift up to the ceiling again as he mentally sorted through the possibilities. Breaking up the next generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio didn't seem worth it; putting a Hyuuga together with an Uchiha was. . .not exactly taboo, but usually avoided, due to the potential rivalries. However, on the striking hand, the personalities in this case were. . .ah.
Iruka couldn't help it; a strangled snort of amusement escaped him at the thought. And the Haruno girl, with her low chakra reserves but incredible control and intelligence, under Konoha's Genjutsu Mistress? Yes. That would work; the interpersonal dynamics with both the sons of the Pride of Aburame and the Inuzuka Clan Leader were solidly promising. Even the politics were sensible; both the civilians and the nin-clans would be still be satisfied with the relative respects shown to all involved.
There really wasn't a better option.
Iruka turned his gaze back to his superior. “Hokage-sama, I would switch Hinata-chan and Sakura-chan's team assignments. Not only would the team’s foundation be superior, but. . .”
As he explained his reasoning, Iruka had the familiar feeling that the Hokage was already more than a few steps ahead of him. So why is he asking me? he wondered. There must be something else. . .what's underneath the underneath?
Later that night, after the Hokage had left, a possibility occurred to him: Wait, could it be!? If Hokage-sama's changing the team assignments. . .he wouldn't change that, too. . .would he?
No; he might. But who could replace that person? And more importantly. . .why?
# # #
Tenzo hunched over his braced forearms on the bar and stared blearily at the insect buzzing above the shot glass before him. It dived down at his drink three times, landed on the rim, and walked along it for a bit before rising again. A moment later it returned and repeated the pattern. He swatted at it half-heartedly until it got the message and buzzed away. He picked up his glass, eyed it with suspicion, shrugged, and downed the last mouthful of the cheap swill remaining with a slurp.
“'Nother,” he slurred at the bartender as he rose, then held up a finger, “. . .when I get back.”
The bartender nodded.
Tenzo slid off his barstool and shuffled down the hallway leading to the toilet. Once inside, he locked the door and straightened up. The recall order he'd just received through Tsuru-san's kikaichu meant he'd have to leave a Wood Clone behind to maintain his cover until his ANBU replacement arrived.
Someone in the area had been turning Konoha's intelligence agents for weeks now, but it wasn't his problem any longer. He'd do a final assessment at the safe house when he returned for his gear, but first came the clone. As he slowly formed the seals and released his chakra in an undetectable trickle, he began plotting out the logic matrix for his report. First off, they were still waiting for cross-confirmation that the bartender, their entry contact to the town, hadn't been turned. . .he froze.
The bartender, whose girlfriend had been dropping by at the end of the man's shift to meet him for the past few weeks. The girlfriend, who had been vetted by the previous agent on site presumably before that person had been turned.
But what if the girlfriend wasn't really the girlfriend after all?
Tenzo's mind raced through the deductive chains. It all fit. If the bartender had been turned first. . . .
His clone nodded and left the bathroom. Tenzo brought his hands together again, activating the Hiding in Surface jutsu, and disappeared into the floor.
# # #
A little less than two days later, exactly on schedule, Tenzo was back in Konoha and completing his private report to the Sandaime in the Hokage's office: “. . .which I have therefore presently labeled the Poisoned Tenketsu Seed jutsu, Hokage-sama.”
The Sandaime nodded. “Ingenious. . .the tiniest of doton justsu inserted into the victim's Gate of Life. Upon any internal usage or external input of chakra beyond the minimum necessary for survival, it shatters and dissolves, releasing a traceless cardiac poison.”
“Hai, Hokage-sama. The Iwa-nin were hiding in the girlfriend's apartment building, running the operation remotely. Tsuru-san's specially developed kikkaichu saved the lives of all eight dependents that were being used as hostages, and I expect to have the jutsu reverse-engineered by the end of the month.”
“Despite the rookie failure to not double-check all contacts within a day of arrival,” the Sandaime murmured, while Yamato repressed a wince, “well done, as always. I must reward you appropriately.”
Here it comes, Tenzo thought. The traditional reward for a successful mission – a worse, harder, nastier mission.
“ANBU Captain Tenzo!” barked Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure.
“Hai, Hokage-sama!” Tenzo stiffened to attention in response.
“Effective immediately, you are removed from ANBU duty! You are now assigned to the Department of Instruction as a Jounin-sensei, in charge of Team Seven! Here are your genin's dossiers! Your new code-name is. . .Yamato.”
Being the consummate professional that he was, Yamato-the-now merely bowed, even though his heart was overflowing with joy.
Yamato at last!
Wait, wait, what -- Jounin-sensei!?
# # #
It had taken some hustling, but Yamato was ready for his students by noon. He'd gathered his supplies and prepped his private training grounds. All that was left was the first briefing from the agent-in-place – no, his students' Academy-sensei, he corrected himself; this wasn't a mission. This was. . .not 'real life'; life didn't get much more real than ANBU service, but it was. . .public life. Genuine life; not a cover identity; not a covert operation. Social life.
He was about to have a. . .personal life. For the first time ever. It was an exciting and terrifying prospect. And now that it was here at last, he found that he had no idea where to start. So he did the first thing he usually did in such circumstances: ask himself what his senpai would do.
Unfortunately, in these particular circumstances, 'be late' wasn't much help.
Or. . .was it?
Yamato – Yamato! - smiled.
Chapter 2: Their Graduation
Chapter Text
Hinata Hyuuga watched the last genin team other than her own follow their jounin-sensei out of the classroom. She was still in shock. Naruto-san was her teammate -
- Naruto-san was her teammate.
- Naruto-san was her teammate.
- Naruto-san was her teammate!
'Ne, ne, Iruka-sensei, where's this Yamato guy?" Naruto asked eagerly, almost vibrating in place with excitement. "Is he super strong? What's he good at?"
"I don't know, Naruto-kun. I've never even heard of him," Iruka replied, smiling. "But when he does show up, treat him with respect, will you? You're an Academy graduate now. Please act like it. How you behave going forward will reflect on me, as your instructor. Anyways, I'm sure he'll be here soon enough, so you stay here! I have to go file this paperwork."
"You got it, Iruka-sensei!"
Hinata slowly brought herself under control. It seemed a little. . .odd, that their sensei wasn't here yet. All the others had been on time, and while she disliked using it, she was far from unaware of her social status, let alone that of Uchiha-san. Their class was full of the other leading clans' heirs, too, so for a sole unknown Jounin to not be there on schedule to pick them up at assignment was definitely a bit off.
She pressed her fingers together, with her head tilted down, eyeing the clock on the wall from under her bangs. Should she. . .say something? Or wait? For how long? She looked at her fingers again. Maybe. . .fifteen minutes? It had almost been five already. . . .
She looked up again to see Naruto's grinning face right in front of her! Staring!
She eeep!ed and jerked backwards.
"Secret!" she blurted.
"Eh? What's a secret, Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked. "Oh wait! Our new sensei? Do you know about him?"
"N-no," Hinata stuttered, flushing. "My. . .my father. I mean, um, Y-Yamato-sensei, not my father, is late, which is a little strange? And, and, s-sometimes my father lays. . ." traps ". . .tests for me, I, that is, secret tests? That I don't know about until, until afterwards?"
Below them, to the left, Uchiha-san turned to stare at her, his eyes narrowed.
"You think he's here already? Or observing us remotely somehow?" the black-haired boy asked.
She shrank back from his piercing gaze. ". . . maybe?" she said faintly.
"Cool!" Naruto-kun said. "How do we find him?"
Uchiha-san's expression shifted slightly, just enough to clearly say, Well, get on with it, then. Hinata nodded unconsciously and began forming the hand signs. They weren't technically necessary, but they made her Byakugan activation much easier.
"Oooh ooh whatcha doing, Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked.
"Dobe!" Uchiha-san barked. "Don't interrupt her! She's using her family's dojutsu to look for this Yamato person. Get out of her face already."
"Don't tell me what to do, teme!" Naruto shouted back.
"Byakugan!" Hinata said, completing the process. She scanned the nearby area. . .there was Iruka-sensei in the teachers' office, along with Kuna-sensei and Maboto-sensei from the other classes. . .clerks above them and to the side in the Hokage tower, and the blurry, fuzzy walls that were its secure rooms, sealed with concealment and privacy barriers.
She could recognize all the jounin-level shinobi within her range; none of them were likely to be their new sensei. She deactivated her dojutsu and shook her head.
"I, I don't see anybody whom he could be. Or watching us. I'm s-sorry," she apologized.
"Hn," Uchiha-san, turning to stare at the blackboard again, with his chin propped on his folded hands.
"Sorry for what?" Naruto-kun asked "So you can't see the guy, so what? Maybe he's just hiding really, really good. Or in disguise! Or both!"
Uchiha-san scoffed without even turning to look. "Nobody hides from the Byakugan, moron," he said. "It sees through almost everything -"
"I'm not a moron, you're the moron!" Naruto-chan interrupted
"- earth, stone, metal, and genjutsu included," Uchiha-san rolled on, ignoring him, "and it can even identify people by their chakra networks. It's called the All-Seeing Eye for reasons. . .moron."
"I'll moron you, ya double moron!"
"Shut up, Uzumaki. Even though she didn't see anyone watching us, I think Hyuuga-san might still be right. Unlike you, the two of us are important enough that no competent Jounin would be late like this, or not without sending a message -"
"You are not more important than I am! I'm gonna be Hokage!"
"- only in your dreams, loser -"
"You just wait and see, Sasu-jerk-e! I'm gonna be Hokage someday, and then I'll order you around! And make it stick, dattebayo! Yeah, I'll make you do my laundry missions!"
Uchiha-san pfehhed in dismissal, and continued, "What matters right now, dobe, is figuring out where our Jounin-sensei is. Or would you rather keep sitting here and wasting time? Not that you could help, even if you were trying."
"Oh, it's on, teme! I can totally find our sensei faster that you can!"
"How?"
Naruto opened his mouth and then his face went blank. "I. . ." he said, trailing off. Hinata's heart went out to him. I believe in you, Naruto-kun! she thought.
Uchiha-san smirked at him. "Well? Go on, dobe, how?"
"I'll. . .I'll ask the Old Man! Yeah! Haha! Take that, teme!"
"Without leaving the room? Or are you going to disobey Iruka-sensei? Maybe not even be here, if this Yamato shows up in the meantime?"
"I'll. . ." Naruto-kun trailed off again, but then his face creased in a broad, foxy grin, and his eyes slitted. "Oh, right. Heheheheh! Prepare to be amazed, teme!"
Uchiha-san pfehhed again, as Naruto-kun bounded down to the bottom level of the classroom, turned to face them both, and crossed his index fingers in a plus symbol.
"Behold! In awe! My totally awesome true power! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
Chakra smoke billowed up around him, fading to reveal a half-dozen clones, with folded arms and superior looks on their faces. Uchiha-san straightened up slightly.
"Shadow clones? What new idiocy are you -"
"Okay!" Naruto-kun overrode him. "You, you, and you! Get upstairs and ask the Old Man about our sensei, two of you be distractions if needed! You! Go prank Iruka-sensei, pretend you're -
"- not a clone, I got it!" the clone answered.
"Right!"
"What about us?" the last two asked.
Naruto-kun turned to look at Uchiha-san. His grin changed from foxy to feral.
"GET HIM!"
All seven Naruto-kuns crouched to leap, either away or towards Uchiha-san, and then suddenly six exploded into more chakra smoke with a whistling flute-like sound. When it cleared, Naruto-kun was hanging by his jumpsuit's collar and underarms, the back of his jacket twisted up in the grip of a tall, almond-eyed shinobi in a Jounin uniform, wearing a non-standard hitae-ite with cheek and jaw bars.
"Aaand we'll call it there, I think," the newcomer said. "Not too badly done, all of you; I'm almost impressed."
"Hey, lemme go!" Naruto-kun shouted. The Jounin gave him a little shake, then dropped him on his butt.
"Ow! Rude! What was that for? Who the heck are you?"
"I'm your new Jounin-sensei Yamato, obviously. Yes, Hinata-chan -" he smiled at her approvingly "- you were correct. Now, all of you; stand up and grab your things. We're going to see Hokage-sama, right away. Hup hup, genin; get moving!"
"Why are we going to see the Old Man?" Naruto-kun asked, running over to his former seat.
"That. . is a surprise. You'll like it, though; I guarantee that," Yamato replied.
Uchiha-san ambled down the steps towards the tall man, his hands in his pockets to underscore his display of independent attitude.
"So. Was it remote viewing? Or did you evade the Byakugan somehow?" he asked.
Yamato-sensei shook his head. "Not here. We'll be going somewhere secure after we meet with Hokage-sama. I'll tell you then."
# # #
"Yes, Yamato-sensei?" the Sandaime asked. Team 7 were lined up in his office to their new sensei's right – Naruto first, grinning with his hands cockily linked behind his head, then Hinata, smiling a little with her fingers pressed together and her eyes occasionally darting up towards the older man. And last, Sasuke, hands disrespectfully in his pockets before his Hokage, but at least looking more interested and involved than his usual blank, unapproachable facade.
"Reporting early passage of Team 7's Jounin-sensei final acceptance test, Hokage-sama," Yamato said, from behind Hinata.
"Wait, our what!?" Naruto screeched, and Yamato hammered a fist onto the boy's head.
"Silence! Do not interrupt!" he bellowed. Naruto crouched down, moaning in pain. Hinata twitched towards him, then recovered herself and came back to something like proper attention.
Sasuke smirked.
"This seems a bit precipitous, Yamato-sensei," the Sandaime said.
"My standard would have been a sufficient amount of teamwork at a minimum, sir, and I observed not only that but intermediate Genin-level analysis and initiative as well. I see little point in testing them further; I would like to move forward immediately," Yamato explained.
"Hrmmm," the Sandaime said, drawing it out. Yamato had very deliberately not looked at the clock since entering, but they both knew it was ticking away, and that the Sandaime's delay was blatant teasing.
"Very well," he finally sighed, with less than half a minute left. "I accept the formation of Konoha Genin Team 7, year 120, under Jounin-sensei Yamato."
Yamato positively beamed at him, almost as if his soul had been switched on like a spotlight. "Thank you very much, Hokage-sama!" he said, bowing deeply. Then he turned to his Genin. "Congratulations, you three! You have just set a new peacetime record for fastest acceptance as a graduating Genin team - under fifteen minutes. Thank your leader!"
Sasuke was still smirking, but he had taken his hands out of his pockets and made a proper bow alongside Hinata. "Arigato, Hokage-sama," they chorused. Naruto, of course - still rubbing his head – instead said "Thanks, old man! Heh-heh, we're just that awesome!"
"For their initial assessment, Hokage-sama, I would like to begin by simulating an overt breach with heavy carry against TG 43," Yamato continued. He looked down at his genin. "Pay attention to this, you three: I'm asking Hokage-sama about that explicitly because your training starts now, and one of my responsibilities in that area is officer command training.
"Two of you are on-track for Clan leadership and the third is aiming for the Big Hat. Among the fundamentals I'm supposed to teach you in that area is distinguishing between legal and illegal orders. If I were to just hurry you downstairs and throw you at this task, I would have failed in that duty. That is because even just a simulated assault on an internal high-security location is a highly suspicious order, and as genin on-track for command, you would be expected to doubt it, at the very least privately. And therefore," he finished, "I identify our next actions to Hokage-sama so that he may confirm their legality and set the proper precedent going forward."
"Well-put, Jounin-sensei," the Sandaime said. "To be explicit: your sensei has long held primary authority over the facility in question by my direct order, and has my complete confidence. You may trust him as you trust me."
"You honor me beyond my merits, Hokage-sama," Yamato said, bowing deeply. "With your permission?" he asked.
The Sandaime nodded. "Dismissed," he said.
# # #
"Follow me and stay quiet, and I mean stay quiet, Naruto-kun," Yamato told them in the Hokage's office waiting area. "No questions, no comments, nothing until I say so. Understand?" He cut his eyes over towards Sasuke-kun. Wait for it. . . .
"You got it, Yamato-sensITAAIII," Naruto chirped, then howled as Yamato's Fist of Loving Discipline hammered his head again.
Sasuke-kun's gaze met his own, then turned away, the boy pressing his lips flat to hide his amusement.
"What part of Stay quiet, nothing until I say so did you not understand, Genin?"
"But you askeITAAIII!" Yamato put him in a headlock and began scrubbing his knuckles through the blonde's hair. "Itai itai itai!"
Yamato released him, going down on one knee to look him straight on. He picked up one of Naruto's hands and put its palm across the boy's mouth.
"Naruto, your Genin training has already begun. From here, we're going directly to a highly secure location, and your behavior from this point onwards will reflect not just on me, as your Sensei, but on your teammates as well. Do not give my colleagues reason to think less of any of us. The best professionalism you can show right now is silent obedience. Nod if you understand."
Naruto nodded, his eyes wide.
"I know you're a bundle of excitable energy, kiddo. We - not just I, we - need you to discipline that energy and channel it properly. I want you to focus on following Hinata-chan's example from earlier, when she took my lateness so seriously – observe first, analyze second, decide third. Nod-"
Naruto nodded before he could finish asking again.
"Good. And just because I made things explicit for you all in front of Hokage-sama about one matter does not mean I won't use deception and trickery when training you otherwise. Questions don't require verbal -"
Naruto nodded furiously.
"Very good. Now, all of you follow me."