Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Only 37 minutes left in class. Sae furrowed his brow as he felt another cramp coming in his hand. The teacher was a old Vietnamese man, so not only did Sae have to translate the teachers accent but the man gave lectures at the speed of light. It was only his first week in the class and he already wanted to transfer out. Maybe it wasn't a bad idea, it's not like Sae was retaining any of this information. Their first test was just a couple days away and despite his long study sessions he still had no clue as to what was going on.

The only good thing was that he was able to secure three empty seats to surround him. This meant that he didn't have anyone sitting next to him or even really near him. And the golden seat was in the front so he could force himself to stay awake for the 9am class easier. The only bad thing was a boy sat directly behind him, loudly chewing gum every class. Sae couldn't believe that a grown, probably, twenty year old was still chewing gum like a middle schooler. But, he just tuned it out.

The professor paused, and he never did that. Sae looked up from his notebook to see the man looking at the entrance door with a snarl. He quickly turned his head to the big doors. His face quickly crumpled in the same manner as the professor upon seeing the man in the doorway.

Sae squinted his eyes looking at the muscular man. He had a hat that barely stayed on, same with his white tank top that dipped across his shoulder blades. His sweatpants were disheveled and slide down just far enough for the tan skin on his stomach to poke throw. 

His eyes were lidded and bold but messy eyeliner marked up his face. His hair was wet from the rain outside and seemed to stain his clothes just a bit. Sae sighed, the man did not seem like the type to be in this kind of class and he heavily doubted that he would pass.

"I have not seen you before in this class?" The professor spoke out. The man laughed, his white smile practically blinding Sae. 

"Honestly professor, I didn't even know I was enrolled until I got a notification about some 'missing assignment'!" He laughed loudly, the voice echoing through the classroom. The mans eyes flashed suddenly locked contact with Sae. 

Sae flinched, annoyed expression turning to confusion and shock. He looked around the room, trying to avoid the gaze but he could feel it piercing into him. 

The professor seemed to be grilling the man for not only coming late but also never coming to class. All the talk turned to white noise as Sae tried to advert his gaze. Sea creased his brows, feeling a weird sensation in his chest as he tried to breath. The whole interaction was so strange to him. 

The man then looked back up at the professor and interrupted the whole speech, "All good professor." 

He closed the door behind him and walked down the aisle. Eerily getting closer and closer to Sae's seating arrangement. Sae turned his head back around and looked down at his notebook, feeling a weird sense of nervousness in his stomach.

The professor sighed, rolling his eyes before returning to the lesson. 

Sae felt the man turn at his isle, coming closer and closer. Sae prayed that he would sit in one of the faraway seats but he didn't hear the sound of the man sitting down. He was 6 seats away and then 4. Then, he crossed the sacred boundary that Sae had set up.

He was 3 seats away, now only two. Finally the sound of a chair getting sat in, but it was the one right next to him. Out of every seat, of course its the one right there next to him. 

The man smelled like rain and the outside. And up close, Sae could see the extent to which the man had been in the rain. His white tank top was practically see through, the tan skin being highlighted along with his muscles. 

Sae sighed, clenching his teeth and praying that no conversation would be struck. 

The man flipped his head, the wet blonde hair throwing droplets water onto Sae's notebook. Sae looked up at the dude with an annoyed glare. Unfortunately, sparking conversation. 

He smiled, flashing the white pointy teeth again. "My bad. Got caught in the rain," he kept a low voice. Sae decided not to respond and just kept writing, disregarding the small wet spot on his paper. 

"I'm Shidou. You can call me Ryuusei though," he whispered over at Sae. "I have no intention of being in a situation where I would need to use your name, let alone your first name" Sae lidded an eye at the supposed Shidou. 

He laughed again, it wasn't as loud as the first time. It was like a soft chuckle. He licked his lips, "so rude.. is this how you always treat your friends?" 

Sae cocked his head and leaned forward, "Shouldn't you be paying attention to the class that you've been absent at for the past week?" Shidou gave him a crooked smile, slicking his teeth with his tongue. 

"maybe give me your number and you can send me all those notes I've missed..?" he leaned over, close enough to sae to try and make him sweat. 

"I don't just give out my number to everyone." Sae turned his head away from the tempting man, but Shidou just moved closer. He followed Sae's head, "you think I'm 'everyone'?" 

Sae exhaled through his nose, gripping onto his pen again. 

"you are." 

Shidou's grin widened, his eyes dragging across Sae's profile. He lightly bit his lip, letting a groan slip out his mouth. "You wound me, pretty boy." 

Sae tightened his hold on the pen until it almost snapped. He turned his head, lips parting just enough to deliver a scathing remark, but stopped when he caught Shidou’s gaze up close. His lashes were still wet, drops clinging to them, and his eyes looked unique with a bright pink framed by smudged black eyeliner.

Sae blinked once. Then he scoffed, masking the sudden flutter in his chest. "You really should be taking notes."

"I am," He held his chin up against the knuckles on his fist, "taking mental ones, of you." 

It felt almost mocking. Sae gave a sharp side eye and seethed his teeth. He finally returned his gaze to the professor, getting distracted for 5 minutes could be deadly. And the fact he let himself get distracted by something as weird and annoying as Shidou, killed him. 

For the next twenty minutes all Sae could focus on was the reflection in a nearby window. He watched as Shidou didn't write a single word on the blank notebook.  Instead, he drummed his fingers against the desk, occasionally leaning forward like he was reading Sae’s notes. Shidou had his chin propped on his hand, eyes fixed on him, not the board.

Sae sucked on his teeth, making a tick sound. He lowered his head to look down at his notes and then back u to the window. This time he was met by Shidou's eyes, he was already looking at him. Sae quickly adverted as he felt his breath get caught in his throat. 

"Caught ya," Shidou taunted him. 

"What are you talking about," Sae turned his head. Instantly regretting it as he didn't take into account how close Shidou was, practically reaching over into his personal space. 

"You think I didn't notice your eyes on me the past thirty minutes? Can't resist?" He spoke a little too loudly as the Professor cleared his throat and stared at the two. Shidou didn't move but Sae turned back around and sunk into his posture. 

He was silent for a second, Shidou's pupils still straggling on him.

"it's only been twenty minutes." 

"ah, so you admit it," Shidou leaned into his chair with a smile. He licked his lips and then wiped it with the back of his hand. 

"How am i supposed to ignore you shooting daggers at me while I'm trying to pay attention?" Sae whispered angrily. He crossed his legs and leaned against his propped up elbow. 

"Just trying to figure you out," Shidou seemed relaxed. Like this was just a normal day for him. But none of this was normal for Sae. He never talked to his classmates, only when assigned a project or forced to. The only "friends" he had were really just his brothers friends, and only a couple were his age. 

Something just didn't sit right about Shidou. He was too calm, too weird. The kind of person Sae should avoid. 

"Nothing to figure out."

"liar," Shidou giggled. He smiled harder when he saw Sae pause his writing. But, silence followed. Sae diffused the situation. In Sae's head, Shidou wouldn't even be back for the next class. 

He lifted an eyebrow as he saw Shidou finally pick up a pen and press it against his open, but blank, notebook. 

Moments later, a folded piece of paper was tossed across Sae's notebook. He stared at it and then lifted his head towards Shidou with an unamused look. He looked back down at the note, slowly unfolding it. 

The handwriting was messy and written like he was in a rush.

------------------

bet you wont text me 

- hot guy from class

------------------

Below the words was a phone number. 

As the professor dismissed everyone, Sae crumpled up the paper and threw it into his notebook. He closed the book, flattening the note. He ignored the snicker from Shidou, as if he won. 

Shidou loudly stretched and threw his stuff into his backpack. Sae peered into the bag and saw how disorganized it was, exactly how he expected Shidou to live his life. 

Shidou's stretch had a long drawn-out groan, like he wanted Sae to hear on purpose. But before Shidou could pry a reaction out of him, Sae leapt to his feet. 

He didn't look back. Shidou's stare was lingering on his back, he could practically feel the grin radiating off of him. He tightened his grip on the straps to his backpack and threw it over his shoulder. 

he slipped into the stream of students in the halls. The air was thick, heavy from everyone's breath. It was loud too. Everyone was meeting up with their friends, hugging, screaming, laughing. Sae wanted to get out. 

It didn't help that he was getting trailed by Shidou in the meantime. The smell of rain became more prominent as he got closer to the exit. 

When he opened the exit door, the sky was gray. It threatened more rain but for now there was fresh air and the sound of birds that polluted the outside. He turned around and Shidou was gone. He must've taken the hint. 

He felt a weight get lifted from his shoulders, but something stayed with him. 

To his left was the coffee shop. Sae had been going there for the past year and of course, his brother followed him to college and also goes there. Now, they just go whenever they can and get some studying done. 

A lot of students work there, some of Rin's classmates who have grown fond to him. And thanks to Sae's loyalty to the small shop, he also had befriended some waiters. 

He could see from the glass that Rin was already waiting at the table. 

Sae made his way to the table exhaled through his nose loudly. 

"Professor Tran bothering you still?" Rin looked up with one eyebrow raised. Sae nodded, knowing it wasn't the professor on his mind. Rin turned back to his laptop, typing away. 

There were only three waiters that Sae and Rin knew personally. Bachira, who had a bubbly and outgoing personality, Chigiri, who was rational but nosy, and Isagi, who was Rin's closest "friend". Isagi was just a normal kid, passionate about certain things and just kind. 

Bachira waved at their table, Sae liked to avoid him, but Rin reluctantly waved back. Wavering the boys attention. 

"Good afternoon to my favorite Itoshi Siblings!" The blonde tip haired boy smiled. He was so cheery it annoyed Sae. 

"I told you to stop referring to us like that." Rin snarled. 

Bachira ignored the comment and grinned at Sae, "The usual for you coming right up!" He walked away, giving a wave to Isagi who was working behind the counter. Isagi smiled at Rin and of course, neither of the brothers acknowledged it. 

Sae reached into his backpack and pulled out his notebook, along with his laptop. Before the put the book down, something slid out. Sae knew what it was just by the sound. 

The note. 

He moved quickly to grab but Rin already swiped it up, suspicious at how fast his brother moved to hide it. 

"What's this?" He looked confused. 

"Nothing. Give it here." Sae stuck out his hand, with a worried look. 

Rin was intrigued, and of course he didn't listen to his brother. He opened it and instantly his expression turned to repulsion. 

He threw his hand in the air, "bet you won't text me...?" he read it out in a monotonous tone, unimpressed. 

Sae's stomach dropped.

"Who the hell is writing you love notes??"

Rin lowered his eyes and read the next bit and this time was even more shocked, "Hot guy from class?!" He practically shouted. Sae snatched the note out of his hand and shoved it into his pocket, "Can you shut up??" 

Bachira slithered into their conversation, "Whose the lucky guy Sae!" he sang as he placed down the black coffee. 

"There is no lucky guy," Sae assured them. 

"Not what the note says!" Rin grit his teeth. Sae sighed, his heartbeat quickening. 

"Didn't know you were into guys Sae. Doesn't surprise me though." Chigiri spoke through his teeth as he walked by, clearly listening in on the whole thing. 

Sae threw his hands up in frustration, "It should surprise you because I'm not! End of conversation." He looked down at his notes, trying to push past everything that just happened. 

Bachira leaned over to Rin and tried to whisper, "Who wrote it?" 

Rin scoffed and pushed his protruding bangs out of the way, "If I knew I wouldn't be sitting here, I'd be beating the shit out of him." Bachira just laughed loudly, patting the angry mans back. 

He wiped his eyes of nonexistent tears from laughing, "Sure sure.. like you could beat up a sophomore!!!" Bachira continued his laughing fit. Sae couldn't hide the small curve to the ends of his lips as he imagined Rin trying to even lay a finger on Shidou. 

In between all the laughter, Sae accidently spoke.

"As if you could touch him, he'd destroy you" He scoffed with a smile but the laughter from the table suddenly came to a pause. 

Bachira slammed his hands on the table, leaning forward. His eyes had a glint, "Is he muscular?! If he's muscular he must be handsome!!!" 

Rin gagged at the thought of his brother with some tall muscular stud. Sae flinched his head back, not meaning for this to turn into a whole thing. 

Bachira was adamant on the subject, "Tell me Sae!! Was he a ten!" 

Sae held a hand up, "It doesn't matter, I'm not texting him or even proceeding anything of the sorts with him." 

The excited man just grinned like he was somehow satisfied with that, but Sae knew he had something up his sleeve. Rin frowned, "Yes let's stop talking about this absolute weirdo." Bachira turned to begin to walk away but he still had a grin plastered on his face, "So he IS a ten.." 

Sae sighed and looked back down at his notes. He stuck his hand in his pocket and grasped the piece of paper. His vision blurred as he was reminded of the rain that dripped off of Shidous' bangs, his wide and taunting smile, and those stupid pink eyes. 

He was taken out of his daydream with the feeling of Rin's judgmental glare. Sae raised a brow, "What?" 

Rin licked his teeth before responding, "You're obviously thinking about something." 

Sae shoved teh note further into his pocket, straightening his posture. 

"My class, Rin. Get your mind out of the gutter." 

Sae felt like a hypocritical liar. Rin just shook his head, "Whatever nii-chan.." There was a moment of silence. Sae used it to click away at his laptop, transferring his notes to be digital. He wasn't fast at typing so he preferred to write it out and then copy it into his online notes. Then he could also get a refresher of class.

But, his peace was quickly destroyed as Rin sucked on his lip, "...what's his name..?"  

Sae groaned, setting his elbow onto the table for support. He rolled his eyes to look at Rin, "he's not important, just some idiot in my class.." Sae tried to sound bored, "He's.. persistent." 

Rin leaned back in his chair, repeating Sae's words slowly.

"Persistent.. you mean creepy?" 

Sae hesitated, thinking about the way Shidou had grinned at him, like he was trying to get under Sae's skin, and he was winning. "No," he firmly stated, "Just annoying." 

Rin examined his brothers face, the stillness in his emotion, the way his eyebrows scrunched, and the twitch to his nose. 

"You don't look like you're just annoyed," he said while eyeing the growing pinkness to Sae's ears.  

Sae shot a glare, "Can we not just study?" 

Rin exhaled and raised his brows, nodding but not saying anything. He worsened his posture as he curved over his assignment. But finally, Sae could transfer his notes without any talk of Shidou, the name he would never let leave his lips.

-

Rin sighed, "2:50. Got to go." 

Sae didn't look up, just listened to the sounds of his brother packing up. He nodded, "American Lit?" Rin gave his silent approval. As quickly as he got there, Rin was gone. 

Bachira came by to wipe up Rin's area, picking up the mans empty cup of coffee. He knew not to bother Sae while he was working hard, but he was humming some popular pop song. It didn't annoy Sae, just something he noticed.

Then he noticed the worst thing he could've possibly seen. 

From his seat he could look out the window to the exit of the school corridors. And of course, there was Shidou. Laughing and smiling with a group of two other people. One had a bold green stripe in his hair and a beanie. The other had facial hair and a bipolar head of hair. 

Sae ducked behind his laptop, catching Bachiras' eye.

"uhh whatcha hiding from?" the boy gave a warm smile of genuine confusion. Sae didn't answer but just peered over the laptop. 

The bright hair, loud laugh, bag slung carelessly over one shoulder. His hands moved rapidly like he was explaining something. His gazed flicked over to the window, and landed directly on Sae. 

Sae's heart dropped and then began to beat loudly, louder than ever before. He quickly snatched the menu that laid on his table, making Bachira even more confused. 

"What are you doing?" He snickered a little. 

"Nothing," Sae muttered under his breath. "Just deciding if I want another coffee.." 

"You still have over half-" He was interrupted by the bell of the Cafe door opening. Bachira turned towards the door and said in sync with the other workers, "Welcome!-" 

"Yo, pretty boy!" Shidou's voice boomed across the Cafe. Sae sunk into his seat even more. He didn't respond, just waited until the tall man was towering over him. 

Sae sighed before fixing his posture, "Shidou." 

Bachira grinned like he had just put together the pieces. He smiled even harder when he saw Shidou bent over to pick up a small crumpled paper that was right below Sae's chair. 

It was crumpled but recognizable. 

"oh," Shidou grinned, "You kept this?" 

Sae blinked slowly, wishing he could just avoid the whole conversation. 

"It's trash, I have to throw it away." 

"Sure," Shidou leaned closer, placing one hand on the table. He whispered, just loud enough for Bachira to hear, "Then why's it not in the trash?" Bachira squealed to himself, skittering away to behind the counter to give them space. 

Sae felt his ears grow pink, he prayed that his hair covered it. He convinced himself it was just embarrassment, "It's on the floor isn't it?" 

Shidou turned so his back laid against the edge of the table. He looked forward as he played with the edges of the note. 

"You know.." a smile crept onto his face, "I think the paper just fell out of your pocket. Did you keep it there to keep it close to you?" 

Sae shook his head, annoyed with how the man could see through him. He tried to say something but couldn't, and he didn't know why. 

Shidou laughed to himself, turning his head to look down at the sat-down man. 

"Here I'll give it back, keep it close to you. That's what I want," He gave a slanted smile, lidding those eyes just like before. His hair was dry now and looked soft to the touch, it was a bright blonde with pink tips. It was crazy but weirdly intriguing. 

Sae's stare was cut off as Shidou leaned down, nearly grazing his nose with his own. Sae felt his throat dry up as he felt Shidou's rough fingers reach into his pocket. He softly placed the note back in there and stood from where he previously leaned, ever so calmly. 

He took a step away from the silent Sae as if he just did the most casual thing known to man. "I'll stop annoying you," He said in a low voice, like he was trying to convince himself.

Shidou smiled, "Bye pretty boy!" He waved aggressively as he walked backwards towards the door, like he was trying to see Sae for as long as possible. 

Sae collected himself, hand running to his pocket. His fingers pressed against the paper as he wondered why his life couldn't just be normal for the next three years of college. Bachira leaned over the counter with a grin, "Sooo-" 

"No." 

"I didn't even say anything yet!"

"You were about to." 

Bachira sighed in defeat, "I was just going to say how that was the most intimate thing I've seen in weeks and I hangout with Nagi and Reo constantly! You two are like.." He gestured to himself like he was trying to find the words. "..a dog and the pillow it humps!!!" 

Sae looked up with a disgusted look, "In no way is that a compliment." 

Bachira laughed loudly, "Kind of maybe!" He tilted his head.

Sae tapped his pen against the paper, "It's probably all a joke. He doesn't look gay."

Bachira dropped his jaw, "He's wearing eyeliner you dummy." 

Sae stayed quiet this time, looking down at his notes from earlier. On the right page, the notes were straightforward and organized, but the left page. The left page showcased how distracted Sae was, barely getting anything written, thoughts left on a cliffhanger. All because he couldn't stop looking at that weirdo in that stupid reflection. 

"It doesn't matter what he's into because he's obviously into you, y'know?" Bachira looked down at the counter, finally doing some work and beginning to clean it. 

Sae srolled his eyes, "Seems like he's into everyone."

“Yeah, but not everyone keeps his notes.”

Sae froze. He swallowed whatever spit he had in his mouth.

Bachira grinned, knowing that he had cornered Sae. “You could’ve thrown it out when you left class. You didn’t.” He sang the last point as if to try and irritate Sae further.

Sae shut his notebook with a sharp thud. “You done?”

“For now,” Bachira sang, turning back toward the espresso machine. “But if you start smiling at your phone later, I’ll know why.”

“I won’t.”

Bachira yelled out to Sae with a smile, "Sure!" He trailed the man leaving with his gaze. 

Chigiri turned from the register, "Really am not surprised that Sae is gay.." 

"I knew you were listening!" Bachira lightly punched the red haired on the shoulder with a laugh.

-

That night. The apartment was quiet. Not a noise behind Rin's shut door, he probably had his headphones in. 

Sae sat on his bed with his back against the headboard. His yellow lamp lit the dark room well. He draped one arm over his forehead, the phone in his hand glaring onto his pale face. 

He opened the same three apps over and over again, trying to satisfy his boredom. His brain wouldn't shut off, replaying images of Shidou grinning, looking at him with want, leaning into reach into his pocket. It all sent shivers down his spine, he assumed because it was so annoying. So distracting.

He called himself curious as his thumb trailed over to the search bar on social media. People like Shidou were loud, messy, hard to ignore, so he had to have some sort of social media trail. Sae just wanted to know. He wanted to confirm his ideas. 

He typed it quickly like he was scared of what he was typing: ryuuseishidou.

Predictable. Thousands of followers. Hundreds of shirtless photos. Captions that weren't coherent sentences.

Sae had confirmed his idea, exactly what he was looking for. But he kept scrolling. 

He couldn't help himself. Sae finally paused at a photo from earlier this week. It was the cover photo for a soccer post. 

Shidou was sweaty, his right foot pressing the soccer ball against the locker room floor. His jersey hung over his shoulder, shorts slightly dipped so the band of his boxers could be shown. His hair looked like how it was this morning. Wet but bright. This time, it was held back by a rubber band. His eyeliner was still strong, along with those bold pink eyes. His face showed off a stupid expression, him puckering his lips as if to say "phew"

Sae's eyes traced over the mans collarbone before trailing the muscles in the mans shoulder and neck. He found himself zooming in like a common fangirl. He caught himself and quickly locked his phone, throwing it to the side. 

He let out an annoying groan, pissed off that he let it get this far. He hand drifted over to the phone again but he quickly forced it away. If he kept this up he would never sleep. 

He turned to his side, facing the dresser that stood against the bed. There was his water, the lamp, and then the unfolded note. 

He reached to grab his water, taking a sip. All while staring at the note. He put the glass back and went to turn off the lamp, still staring at that damned note. 

In the dark, he looked at the ceiling. Thinking about that loud laugh, those dipped shorts, and again that annoying grin he gives when he knows he's made it into Sae's head. 

All the images slowly faded, the laughter playing throughout his head as he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

His arms stretched across the bedsheets. He turned to rest his head on the soft pillow with a groan. Shidou frowned, checking his phone again.

Nothing. 

"A watched pot never overfills.." He sighs, "or something like that." 

He sat up on his bed, throwing his arms in circles. The phone still not buzzing, even when he sneakily glances at it. He stood up and started to move some clothes around, apparently trying to tidy up his disgusting room. 

Shidou shared an apartment with his two best friends from college: Otoya and Karasu. They usually bothered him at around this time to go to some party, which was normally at Reo or Sendou's apartment or dorm. 

It's past 2 am now. Notifications poured into his phone, but not one from the person he actually wanted to talk too. The snapchats from girls, DMs from random guys, texts from friends trying to rope him into something stupid. All ignored. 

Shidou just wanted to know his name. 

His whole college career he's had so many meaningless girlfriends and annoying boyfriends, it was all easy for him. He felt like he could have anyone he wanted, so why was this so hard?

Memories of how he had slipped that note onto the mystery mans desk. The way his gorgeous eyes looked at the note and then back at him, how he didn't say no. It felt like something. 

There was a feeling that struck Shidou's chest when they first locked eyes. Like he had just stumbled upon a perfectly wrapped present, but not a Christmas one, that was just for Shidou to open. 

As a smile drove itself onto Shidou's face, he laughed loudly. He threw his body onto the bed with a giggle, unable to contain himself. 

He hugged his pillow, imagining it was that beautiful pink haired man from his stupid math class. 

Predictably, Otoya shoved himself into Shidou's room. He shot up, throwing the pillow across the room like he was guilty of something. 

Karasu walked in slowly, a confused look on his face. Otoya covered up his laughs, "You jerking it in here or something?!" The comment made his crow friend instantly smile. 

Shidou picked up another pillow and threw it at the duo, "NO. SHUT THE HELL UP." 

They threw their hands up as a try to accept defeat. Shidou cleared his throat, "What do you want?" 

Karasu's eyes glinted, "Party at Sendous place.. absolutely NO ditching!" The other man nodded a head of approval. But, Shidou just groaned.

"Not in a huge party mood dudes!" He dismissed them with a hand and turned back over to his phone. Otoya interrupted his movements, "It's lowkey!! Karasu said no ditching allowed!" 

"It's lowkey..?" Shidou paused his activity on his phone, which just consisted of him watching his messages app just in case. 

"suuuuper lowkey," Karasu ensured him. 

"Fine whatever, I'll get dressed now." 

The duo high-fived loudly and left the room laughing and giggling. Shidou shouted after them, "Be ready in ten or I'm not going!!!" 

He sighed as the door was shut. All these parties were the same. They just got drunk, fucked around, and passed out. But, he'd go. For his friends. 

Since it was lowkey, shidou didn't need to go all out and dress all fancy. He just wore a cropped red and black tee with black baggy jeans. The jeans were baggy enough to expose his toned stomach and underwear lining, shidou's favorite aspect with his outfits. He wore a studded belt to hold up the pants and thick black shoes.

He gelled back his hair in the bathroom mirror, hearing the loud screams and music that was being played in the living room. He rolled his eyes and popped out into the hallway, instantly smiling when he saw his friends standing before the doorway with a small speaker, doing some stupid dance.

 "Let's go idiots," The keys to his truck making a jingle noise. 

The two followed Shidou eagerly out the door like dogs, chanting and shouting like a bunch of highschoolers. 

Sendous apartment was only 10 minutes away from their own felt excruciatingly long as Otoya had a new girlfriend and was trying to give everyone dating advice. 

"-you seeing anyone Shidou?" Otoya wrapped his arm around the seats in front of him. The sudden question made Shidou miss his turn. 

His hands grew sweaty around the wheel, "Shit-" he muttered, turning at the next light. 

Otoya tapped Karasu on the shoulder from the backseat and gave him a confused look. He repeated the question, "Are you?" 

Shidou thought about the man of his dreams, and then how that same man of his dreams was ignoring the hell out of him. The flutter in his chest died as he turned onto Sendous street, "..Nah." 

The ninja smiled through the rearview mirror at the driver, "You should find someone at the party, we'll help! You haven't actually dated someone in so long."

Shidou groaned, "I thought this was a 'lowkey' party, who would I be meeting?" Otoya and Karasu exchanged guilty looks, "It's kind of maybe lowkey?" 

As they got closer to the mans house it was obvious that this was not a small gathering. People were walking, running, yelling from nearly 5 houses down. Cars lined the streets and music could be heard from the outside of the house. 

Shidou gripped the wheel, "Are you serious." 

The two gave an awkward smile to the grumpy guy and both began patting him on the back as they looked for a parking spot on the crowded street. Otoya was the first to comfort him, "Don't even stress dude. Imma find you a partner today and that will make everything okay"

It didn't calm Shidou's nerves as visions of that secret man flashed through his mind. He was gorgeous.

Not too long pink hair, and those eyes. He had six under lashes that drooped every time he blinked. His teal eyes were captivating, he could've spotted them from a mile away. He was clearly athletic and his shirt dipped just enough for Shidou to spot and stare at his collarbone and the muscle surrounding it.

His mind wandered at times just how hot the guy would be without a stupid shirt. If his stomach was just as toned as the rest of his body. If his v-line had a certain dip to it that pointed him to a golden prize. But, he quickly tried to diminish those dirty thoughts as he didn't even know the guys name.

His hope were lifted when he thought that maybe, just maybe, the man would be at this party.

"Maybe.." Shidou said with a small smile, a certain pink haired person in mind.

The two men both cheered in celebration. 

"That's the spirit, sexy!" Karasu uncomfortably noted as he grabbed Shidou's shoulder and help it tight. Shidou just shook his head, "Told you that you gotta stop saying that dude. It's weird" 

Karasu smiled and gave him another hard shake, "aw come on, you guys love it!!!" 

"We don't." The other two said at the same time. Otoya lifted Karasu's hand from Shidou's shoulder slowly, "It's weird buddy."

"Alright whatever.." Karasu slouched in his chair. Slowly letting a sly grin grow on his face, "Sexy!" 

Shidou put the car into park, "You're gonna be behind bars one day dude." Everyone got out and he locked the car. Karasu put his hands into his pockets, "And I'll be throwing the word sexy left and right in there"

The two just shook their heads and walked towards the booming house of doom. 

Shidou tried to treat the party as a way to get his mind off of the man who crossed through his brain every second. A way to forget about the fact that he was blowing his shot at the catch of the century. 

But, the party was proving to be a disappointment. 

Everything was just like always. They drank, talked around, and waited for the girls to come. Shidou's first shot diluted his brain of his classmate, which was a good sign. But every shot after that just enhanced it. He found himself sitting alone on the couch after just an hour. 

He stared at his phone, never feeling this way before. His heart constantly dropping with reminded embarrassment, red flushing to his cheeks and ears just at a single image of the man popping into his head. It was all horrible.

People had tried to approach him all night but he just didn't feel like socializing at all. 

Of course, his friends had to 'come to the rescue. 

"Man, what's up?! Why are you so down?" Aiku had one arm wrapped around Sendou and one arm jabbing Shidous side to try and wake him up. 

Shidou just exhaled through his nose, "Nothin. Think I'm gonna go home though" he sighed again, fixing his posture as if he was getting ready to stand up and leave. Aiku pushed the man back down with his arm, "Nah, not until you tell me what's up."

His body slammed back into the couch with a squeak from the old springs. Shidou rubbing his thumbs against the couch cushion, "Just not feeling it tonight" 

Aiku laughed, "Probably upset cause you haven't been approached by many girls, am'right?" The comment just made Shidou shake his head with a low laugh. He sunk into the chair.

Their conversation interrupted by a tall skinny girl with thin red hair. It was completely straightened but she had a side swoop to her bangs, covering her forehead but not her pierced eyebrow. 

Her body was covered in intricate tattoos, ones looked like they were a spur of the moment kind of thing and others  seemed to be connected to her heart. Her neck was covered with silver chains and necklaces. 

She walked forward, each step with her black boots making a loud noise against the wooden floors. 

"Experimental Art 2? With Professor Reins?" 

Shidou lifted his head with a sigh, "Yeah, what about it?" 

Sendou and Aiku winced. 

Aiku gave him a pat on the shoulder, dragging the pink haired man along with him. Before being forced away, Sendou leaned over to whisper in Shidous ear. 

"Don't be so sassy and maybe they'll like you."

Shidou just snarled and rolled his eyes. He had no interest in this girl whatsoever. 

She gave an awkward smile, "Well.. I'm in it too.. just looking to make a friend." She plopped down next to him on the couch. 

"Our class is only 15 people so might as well try, but kill me for asking." She let out a small laugh. Shidou didn't look her way, just kept his gaze forward at the wall.

She still tried anyways, "You want a drink?" 

He shook his head, "About to leave." He began to get up but she put her bejeweled hand onto his thigh softly, "One drink."

Silence.

She got up, walking towards the drink table to grab him one. She gave a crooked smile, "I'm Baylee. Nice to meet you, Shidou."  

Again no response. 

Before she could even leave, he went back to staring at his phone. Nothing. It was near 3:30AM now and he just wanted to go home and sleep off his misery. 

Soon later, Otoya and Karasu came to the couch. Karasu had some girls following him and Otoya held his new girlfriend, Anya, up close. Otoya sat down at a nearby chair, talking to some of the girls and waving over some of his guy friends. 

Karasu stood behind Shidous couch, leaning against the back of it. 

"Heard about the girl, ya fumbling?" 

This made Shidou laugh, "I'm not interested." 

The other gave a concerned look to Otoya, to which he immediately leaned into the conversation.

"Where is she?" 

"Getting drinks." 

"Going well?"

"Told you, not interested." 

Otoya leaned back, crossing his arms, "don't want to party, don't want a girlfriend.. You want me to find you a boyfriend or what?!" Shidou just let out a sigh, not out of annoyance. He was grateful that his friends were trying to cheer him up but something about his classmate intrigued him. He needed him. 

Baylee came back, two drinks in hand. One opened, clearly hers, and the other unopened. She hung the beer in front of his face, standing above him, clearly trying to taunt her tall figure. 

Shidou looked off to the side, accepting the drink. 

"Thanks," He gave a half hearted smile. 

The two friends gave each other that same concerned look. They brought up some foreign memory to try and get the real Shidou to slip out. Thankfully, they were able to draw Shidou into a flowing conversation. Baylee sitting closely next to him on the couch. 

It felt almost too close, but this is what every party was like. She lightly grazed her leg against his thigh as he explained another detail to a story. For a split second he gazed down at the contact with an accidental look of annoyance.

Of course, she didn't take the hint and moved closer. 

In response, Shidou put his arm around the couch, turning his body so they wouldn't be touching anymore. He continued to talk, but she took the movement as an invitation to move in and she placed both hands near Shidous lap, leaning in close. 

She smiled, staring at him like she was interested but not in the story. 

Baylee began to laugh at a joke he made, keeping the pitch of her voice high to try and make herself still seem attractive. It was grating. During the action, she lifted her arm to Shidous arm. 

Her head leaned against the back of the couch, her hair getting on Shidous other arm. Normally, he's lean into an opportunity like this. Feed into it. But tonight, it felt fake. 

Shidou felt annoyed at every advance, and it was obvious. Karasu and Otoya got wrapped up in their own conversation, leaving the two to themselves. 

She was all noise: big laugh, loud perfume and jewelry, glitter catching the colored lights. She talked with her hands, leaned close, filled the silence well. She irked of confidence. 

Shidou tried to listen. But, his brain kept drifting. Back to the quiet rhythm of someone's voice that just drew him in, forced him to lean into the other. The soft scrape of a pen. The way rain slid down his jaw earlier, how he hadn't wasted time to wipe it off. 

Baylee leaned closer, to emphasize some point in her story. Shidou blinked, realizing he hadn't retained a single word. 

"-Yeah," He pushed it out automatically, not even knowing what he agreed to.

She giggled in a high pitch voice, definitely practiced. 

He wondered, suddenly, what that man's laugh would sound like.

"You're awfully quiet now," She says, tilting her head. 

"yup," was all he could spit out. 

"What, got someone else on your mind?" She giggled at the thought, but it came to a stop when Shidou didn't respond with a 'No' instantly. Instead, he hesitated. His frown turning into a smirk, "Wouldn't you like to know?" 

Shidou tried to get her to understand but she must've taken the tone as flirtatious as she leaned in to whisper in his ear. She spoke in a low voice, her lips practically touching Shidou's ears. 

"Wanna head upstairs?" 

He doesn't move, completely unfazed by the question. 

"Yeah, Imma get a rain check on that." He flashed a grin and pulled his arm back gently. He got up and left her there, watching as she gave a  forced smile of a irritation his way. 

He drifted through the crowd, beer in hand, pretending to mingle as his mind raced. He walked over to a group of first years he knew from the Soccer Club, "hey, you guys know a dude with short, pink hair.. always looks like he wants to kill you?" 

They all laughed, shaking their heads.

"What kind of description is that? That's like half the engineering majors!" A loud white haired boy laughed, the rest of the group following. S

Shidou snarled, moving on to the next person. He caught an older students sleeve, "Yo, you know a tall-ish guy? Cold eyes? Bold lashes? probably, MAYBE, smarter than me?" 

The older man snickered, "Everyone's smarter than you." He joked as he walked away. 

Shidou rolled his eyes, tapping his finger against his own arm. 

He walked over to a window, some kid stood there. Shidou recognized him from somewhere, but he couldn't quite figure it out. He had smooth cyan hair and wide eyes. 

Finally, after asking, the boy blinked at him.

"Oh, the older Itoshi brother?" 

Shidou froze, eyes snapping up. He felt his heart rate quicken just at the revelation. 

"You know him?" He answered too quick, too desperate. He knew it and he could tell the other knew it too from the look in his eyes. 

"uhh yeah," he shrugged. "I know his younger brother, Rin. He's a first year. But Sae, he's pretty quiet. Kinda intimidating." 

"Itoshi Sae.." The name slid out Shidou's mouth, clearly in his own world. The blue haired giggled, covering his mouth as he did so. He raised one eyebrow, "Sae Itoshi" he correct the other. 

Shidou just nodded, he grabbed the mans hand and gave it a long-lasting and uncomfortable kiss. 

"Thank you for this information, I will never forget your service." He even bowed. 

As Shidou scurried off the quiet first-year spoke up, "Names Hiori!" Shidou flashed him a wide grin, the biggest smile he had the whole night. 

He stopped by Karasu and Otoya before he left, quickly shoving past people. They tried to question him and Baylee and why he did what he did, but Shidou just ignored it all. His grin spread wide across his cheeks, "I gotta go home." 

The two sensed a difference in the way Shidou presented himself. He was his good old happy self again. They didn't know what caused this change, but were just happy that it happened. They just nodded, agreeing to let him leave and laying off him about the girl.

Shidou waved happily and aggressively as always, earning a small laugh from Karasu.

On his way to the door he dapped up Sendou and thanked him for the invite, giving the same handshake to Aiku, telling him to "Stay dope" 

Everyone sensed the change in presence, but nobody cared for the reason, just glad it was back. 

He called an Uber, leaving the car to Otoya, who was sober and trustworthy to Shidou. 

The rain had started to pick up again, soft and steady. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared down at his bright phone. Still nothing.

But now, his heart beat loudly as he thought of the name he finally had. 

It was enough for him to go off of. 

Shidou tossed himself into bed, exhausted. He had classes at 11AM tomorrow, so he didn't have to wake up that early but still had to get up. Which sucked. 

He ignored the sleepiness but the after affects of the party still rang through him. The music still thudding against the walls of his brain. The room have a bit more spin to it than he remembered. But, his head was somewhere else entirely. 

"Sae Itoshi," He whispered out loud, testing the sound of it. The name was clean, sharp, not fitting for someone who looked so soft and gorgeous.  

He said it again, this time with more emotion. It made him smile, and then made him laugh. He curled into a ball onto his bed, crumpling the sheets. He grinned, "I'm losing it." 

Shidou rolled onto his back, star fishing across the bed. He stared at the ceiling, but not for long. He was blinded by the brightness of his phone in the darkness. 

The phone buzzed every few minutes, people asking if he had left, if he was busy, if he wanted company. He didn't answer a single one. 

Instead, he opened Instagram. He typed the name into the search bar.

There it was. 

@_saeitoshi

the profile picture was a breathtaking photo of him at the balcony of some restaurant. He had a glass of champagne in his hand, raising it. The same stoic expression was given, it was perfect. 

Everything stood out to Shidou, his sharp jaw, his long nose, the way his eyes were standing out from the lighting. Never in Shidou's life has he ever wanted to touch another mans hair so bad. It look soft, almost edible.

His Adams apple peeking from his collar. He wore a white button up shirt, a little loose but in a good way. He looked elegant but relaxed, perfect. 

Shidou smiled until he saw that it was a private account. He groaned, wondering why his life can't just be perfect and always work out in his favor. 

He smiled, continuing to stare at the amazing capture of Sae. 

It wasn't enough, his brain was buzzing and restless. He sat up, running both hands through his hair. 

"Okay Ryuusei. You got a name, a face. Where to next?" 

He didn't even realize he was grinning as he pulled up the student portal. Just a few clicks later, and he was scrolling through the course listing for the mathematics department. 

He found their shared class and clicked on Sae's name. 

"Bingo." 

Tomorrow Sae had Advanced Macroeconomics at 9am. 

He leaned back, stretching. The grin widened. 

"Guess I gotta get up early tomorrow anyways."

On impulse, he stood up. Looking at himself in the mirror, he acknowledged the smudged makeup and disheveled clothes. His eyes were wild with a sort of passion, like he had a project that he could finally crack. 

"Alright," He pointed at himself. "You're not gonna freak him out. Just say hi. Be normal. Ask for those notes." He fell backward, back onto the bed. The bedsheets ruffled at the drop, bed squeaking. 

He continued speaking to himself. This time he practiced different situations with Sae.

"Hello, Itoshi."

"Looking gorgeous as always today."

"Were you tempted all night, Itoshi?"

"Did I pollute your dreams yet, cutie?" 

He laughed to himself, grabbing bundles of the sheets and holding it close to him. He dragged a pillow over his face. The glow of his phone peeked through the fabric, still no text.

"Come on, Itoshi." He mumbled against the sheets, "You're killing me." 

Chapter Text

He sat up fast, like he knew he did something wrong. Sae whipped his head around to his phone - 9:13.

For a solid seconds, his brain refused to register what that meant. Then it hit him. 

"oh, shit." 

He leapt out of the bed, blanket tangling around his legs. He kicked it off as his notebook from last night fell to the floor. It flipped open to the page he had been studying before bed. Sae grabbed it and threw it onto the dresser beside his bed.

On top of the dresser was the unfolded note, it made his stomach twist. 

He grabbed a random red collared shirt. It fell and folded just right above his black belt. The belt held up his grey jeans. He quickly slid on his Abibas shoes and headed for the door. 

His eyes were droopy from the little time he spent actually sleeping and not letting his mind race. Rin slammed the bathroom door behind him, the loud sound ringing in Sae's ear.

The younger brother muttered something about breakfast under his breath, but Sae was already halfway out the door. 

Sae had never been late to class before. Not once. He wasn't even the type to cut it close. Being late felt like walking into the wrong life. 

He plugged in his headphones and begun the 5 minute walk to his class, which felt way more painful and long then 5 minutes. 

By the time he was in the right building, he was already 19 minutes behind. His pulse thudded in his ears. He slowed near the hallway corner, trying to fix his hair and composure. The last thing he need was-

"Didn't peg you to be a 'fashionably late' kind of guy, pretty boy." 

Sae froze. 

leaning against the wall by the lecture doors, hood up, phone dangling from his hand like he had been waiting awhile. 

Shidou.

Sae's eyes narrowed, "What are- you've been waiting out here?" 

The tall man grinned, pushing off the wall like he saw an open opportunity. "Nah, just passing by. Right at the time of your first class of the day, at the same door. Wild coincidence, huh?" 

"Right," Sae adjusted the strap to his backpack, shifting to attempt to pass Shidou. But, he just stepped in front of him instantly.

"You're 21 minutes late now," Shidou glanced at the other's expensive watch. "Bad boy." 

Sae sighed through his nose. "You're one to talk. Have you been to a single class since the semester started." 

"I'd rather spend my time with beautiful guys like you." Shidou smirked, impressed with himself. Sae on the other hand, just tilted his head.

"I'm just another beautiful guy to write off in your book? No thanks." 

He began walking forward again, hand on the door knob. As Sae's hand turned with the knob, Shidou pressed his right hand onto the door.

The door groaned under Shidous palm as he leaned his weight against it, shutting it. The act drew attention to Shidou's toned arm and veiny hands, his sleeve riding up his shoulder. Sae's breath hitched, not from fear, but from the nearness.

Sae slowly lifted his head, "I don't have time for this." 

"You're already late," Shidou echoed, grin widening. "Might as well commit to the bit." 

Sae gave him a flat look, his hand lifting from the knob. He turned his body to lay against the shut door, locking eyes with the taller yet again. His teal pupils softening without notice. He had no idea how much he was affecting Shidou.

He cocked his head to the side, "commit?" 

"Skip it. One class. Already halfway there." 

"I've only missed 25 minutes of of a two-hour class. Not halfway." 

He tried to pretend like the mistake didn't matter but Sae Itoshi never made mistakes. Let alone enhance them. Every minute he stood there, talking for no reason to the one person he shouldn't, the more his hands grew sweaty. 

Shidou gave a flashy smile, like he knew Sae was going to say that. 

"I meant the fact your spending time out here talking to me. You got here with basically one foot out the door to begin with." 

The smaller felt a nervous feeling form in his stomach. He felt outsmarted, a little embarrassed. Or at least, that's what he labelled the flutter in his stomach as.

His voice got caught on itself a little as he spoke, "You think I'd skip a class because you said so?" 

This made Shidou laugh. His body folded over itself a bit. He playfully kicked Sae's shin, "Just one hour. One coffee. Then, you can go back to being the perfect student." 

Along with the kick, Shidou moved in. Like a predator securing it's prey. With Sae's pause, Shidou knew he had won, it carried a weight with it. The first time Sae had let himself even consider stepping out of line since he had met the spontaneous entity.

"..One hour," He muttered finally. 

Shidou grinned like he won the lottery, "That's all the time I need, Itoshi" 

Sae's eyes widened with the surprising name drop. He never told him his name. 

"I never told you my name?" It wasn't an accusation, but genuine curiosity. The air felt denser, like he's pull something invisible between them. He wanted to say something. The word 'creepy' sat on the tip of his tongue.

But for some reason, under the original flicker of discomfort, the part of him that wanted to retreat back into precision, there was something else. Something foreign. His chest tightened.

Sae pumped himself off the wall and started walking towards the exit. Shidou excitingly followed, arms swinging like a happy child. 

"You should be more concerned that I know your schedule!" 

The other shook his head in disappointment. Not even in Shidou, in himself. The fact he's letting himself get distracted. 

"For your information, nobody calls me Itoshi. I have a younger brother." 

Shidou's eyes rolled, "Yeah, I heard about the little brat. Rin" His neck moved forward, mocking the name that rolled out of his mouth. A swift movement with his hand to further emphasize his point. 

"You are so creepy." Sae scrunched his face from disgust, but he couldn't hide the faint, traitorous curve of his mouth as Shidou led the way out of the building.

The exit door was held open dramatically by Shidou, of course. Bowing as Sae walked out with an empty expression. 

Shidou began talking, going on and on about something pointless. He knew how to make his presence known. But still, every thirty seconds Sae turned to see the state of the man behind him. Who was usually flashing that white smile. The smile that haunted Sae.

He was used to precision and perfection, to numbers and schedules. But Shidou's grin scrambled all of it like a power surge. It irritated him.

Shidou continued to ramble on and on, staring at Sae's back. He traced his along the outlines of the others body. Since Sae wasn't looking it was the perfect time to take in all of Sae.

He knew he was coming on strong, but what Sae didn't know, is that he want to come on 100 times stronger. 

From the corner, a coffee shop shone like golden treasure. Shidou grabbed Sae's arm, "Let's go here!"

He lightly held onto the surprisingly strong arm and guided Sae to the shop's door. The feeling of Shidou's fingers wrapped around his bicep make Sae unable to talk. His throat suddenly running dry.

"This looks decent," Shidou said, tugging him through the narrow door.

Sae didn't pull his arm away. He registered the touch in a quiet way, as if registering it meant losing. Up close, Shidou still had the faint smell of rain on him and whatever cologne he favored: warm, rustic, and too intimate for a stranger.

Inside, the air was filled with the smell of roasted coffee beans and something sweet. The noise from campus dulled, replaced by low conversations and the hiss of an espresso machine. Shidou scanned the place, as if Sae's mood depended on the variety of table he chose. 

Then, with a boyish grin, he led Sae to a bistro table with two small cushioned seats at each side by the window. 

By the time they were inside, Sae noticed how the mans grip softened. Like he was leading him anymore, he was holding on just to feel him. Sae wanted to move away, but he couldn't. The fingers radiated heat across his arm, eventually making it's way to Sae's chest.

It was so weird.

They sat down. Shidou not letting him go until they were both settles, fingers slacking to a casual rest.

Shidou caught his eyes, a deliberate gauge. Sae felt it as a question. Like an unspoken, 'Is this okay?' In response, Sae let his body relax. He crossed his right leg over his left, placing his arms onto the table.

Shidou couldn't sit still. The feint tapping of his foot against the floor didn't go unnoticed by Sae. A couple moments of awkward silence passed before Shidou stood up, too loud. The chair scraped against the ground in an unexpectedly grating way. 

He scrunched his face before giving Sae a hesitant smile, the other unamused. 

"I'll go get us drinks," he walked away towards the front counter. Sae watched his lips moved. He mouthed the words: black and latte, praying that Shidou knew him well enough to not order him a sugar-filled latte. 

When Shidou returned, so did the weird silence. It wasn't like Shidou to let nothing be said, even for a short period of time. The more Sae observed him, the more was brought to his attention. 

Shidou was rubbing his palms against his thighs, bouncing his leg, and his nose twitched every few seconds. Signs of nervousness. Sae didn't take him as the type to be nervous.

"I'm surprised you skipped your lecture"

finally, some noise. Sae folded his hands, "Why's that? You don't know me?" The response was so Sae-like. Cut to the point, questioning, and almost demanding. But all it did was make Shidou smile, not intimidate him. 

Shidou crossed his arms, leaning into the table. "You just seem like one of those perfect student types," His eyes narrowed like he was trying to read Sae's soul. "Top marks, early to class, never blinks during a lecture?" 

"Never blinks?" Sae raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean," He breathed out a laugh. "You've just got that- uh- vibe. like your GPA has its own fan club. You go home and actually revisit your notes!" 

Sae blinked, looking down at the table. "Not entirely true," he said this like it just slipped out. He didn't mean to indulge in the conversation but somehow Shidou's ramble forced a response.

Shidou grinned, like he caught the big fish. 

"No? Enlighten me." his eyes were bright with curiosity as he tilted his head. 

Sae hesitated. He thought of a story he normally didn't being up. Mostly because it didn't matter anymore, it was a waste of time. It reminded him that he can fail.

He studied the faint reflection in the window next to them. Shidou's sharp jawline was highlighted from the warm lighting. His nose, pointy; hair, messy. He could the mans knee still bouncing up and down. Maybe that's why it was so easy for him to share.

"In middle school," Sae paused, adding a sigh before he spoke again. "I almost failed my semester of geometry."

Shidou choked on his laugh, almost thinking the guy was joking. "Wait, seriously?" 

Sae nodded, turning his gaze from the mirror to the actual subject. "No matter how much I studied, or tried, I just didn't understand. It never clicked. I'd sit there and stare at the diagrams until my head hurt."

Again, Shidou was quiet. But this time, it was a comfortable pause. The corner of his mouth softened, his leg stilling under the table. 

"That's.. hard to imagine." 

"Yeah," Sae said while acknowledging the worker that was approaching them with their drinks. The work grabbed one glass on her tray, "One black coffee.." She waited. 

Shidou gave her a warm smile, pointing at Sae. "His." 

Sae stared at Shidou. 

As the drink was placed at his hands, all he could was look at the other. And of course, Shidou returned the stare with that flashy smile. The waiter left but Sae didn't notice. After a couple seconds, he caught himself and looked away.

Reminded of the sentence he left off on, he finished the thought. 

"yeah.. most people can't imagine." 

A beat passed. Giving Shidou time to scan him, leaning in , elbows propped on the table. His voice was low and teasing but weirdly gentle. "Even perfect people flunk every now and then."

Sae's lips curved, his white teeth showing. Technically a form of a smile. Shidou watched closely, the act making his own grin widen. Sae gave a sidelong glance, not noticing that he had let himself enjoy their time, "I didn't flunk."

"You're right, you said almost." Shidou nodded, correcting himself.

"Almost doesn't count."

Shidou's usual grin returned, uneven, and real. "I'll remember that, Professor."

The sound of glass being tapped brought Sae's attention to the mans fingers, which were drumming against the cup. The same rhythm to which he was drumming on his desk the other day in class.

Shidou started diving into another story about his night and how he "solved the case of of Sae Itoshi's name". It was the first time Sae didn't want to leave. 

Shidou's phone buzzed. He ignored it. His fingers tightening around the cup to hide the small tremor in his hand. When he finally looked up again, Sae was already watching him. 

For a second, Shidou forgot how to breath.

He continued the story, letting Sae chime in from time to time at the ridiculous aspects. The conversation ending with Sae resting his head against his fist, "That's so dedicated it's almost creepy." 

Shidou let out a loud laugh, readjusting his position in the cushioned chair. 

"It worked didn't it, got you to go out with me too." 

It sounded like Shidou was trying to dance around the word date. Sae didn't know to feel. His heart quickened, looking around for something to say. 

Sae, someone who thrived in silence; searching for a way to fill it.

"So," He avoided the pink eyes observing him. "Thought I'd inform of our upcoming test- in math." Shidou didn't say anything, so Sae kept going. Pouring into the silence, "You know.. Because you've missed so much class."

Shidou cocked his head, "So what, are you gonna give me intimate one on one private tutoring..?" He let his tongue run across his bottom row of teeth, in attempt of something.

"I guess I shouldn't have told you and let you walk into class on test day, completely clueless." Sae took a sip of his coffee, his content expression dropping to an unamused one.

Shidou's feet planted onto the floor, "Y'know what, I'll never apologize for shooting a shot."

"I'm not special enough for an apology?" He put the glass cup down, scrunching his eyebrows. He didn't actually want an apology, but for some reason he just wanted to test the other.

But the man in front of Sae just laughed, "I'd grovel at your feet if you let me."

The pink haired raised an eyebrow, refreshing his dry lips with saliva.

"Gross."

"Not what your hesitation told me," Shidou leaned back in his chair with a chuckle. Sae rolled his eyes, arm dropping to his side.

The light above them flickered, dim for just a second before buzzing back to life. Sae traced the rim of his cup, watching the way the liquid rippled. 

"You're ridiculous," he muttered.

"And yet," Shidou grinned, leaning forward just enough so that their knee brushed under the table. "Pretty boy just can't leave." 

Sae's lips parted to say something, but nothing came out. Because Shidou was right. He was still there, and he didn't even want to leave. The man sitting across from him annoyed him, ambushed him, stalked him, but somehow made him forget that he'd miss more than half of his class.

He straightened his back, clearing his throat. "You'll need more than charm if you want to pass next week's test." 

"Charm is all I can offer.." Shidou admitted with a cooked smile, "But if you're offering help..?" Their knees grazed again. As Shidou's knee swayed away, Saes unconsciously followed.

He shot him a look, "I didn't offer."

"Won't you?"

"Bold to assume."

"More like desperate," Shidou gave a pleading look, still flashing that bright smile. It looked almost genuine. "I think I'm addicted."

Sae blinked, clearly confused. "Addicted?" He echoed.

Shidou tilted his head, wondering if he should even say it. "Yeah. To failing, obviously." 

The way Sae's eyebrows scrunched and his eyes narrowed made Shidou's chest tighten with warmness. He could tell Sae fighting a smile, a tiny twitch in his cheek giving him away.

"I'll do it for money, I suppose."

"Like a prostitute?"

All Sae could do was stare, it was like the man had nothing going on in his head.

"No, like a tutor. One session."

Shidou immediately perked up, way too obvious with it. "Only one? No, no, no. Professor, look at me! Do you think one session will save me!! At least a hundred!"

Sae took the last sip out his cup, "If you're going to take this as a joke, I won't be your punchline." He pretended to be annoyed, pettily looking past Shidou. 

Shidou exhaled, giving him a reassuring laugh. "Five sessions." 

"Two."

"Three!" 

Sae bit his tongue, "Fine. Three."

Shidou stood first, muttering to himself, "And who said I was joking.." He stretched his arms overhead like he had just won a trophy, "Can't wait to see you a lot this week, huh?" 

Both cups were picked up a nearby worker. Sae nodded at him, then turned his attention back to Shidou. Standing and picking up his stuff, he sighed. "If you actually show up."

"Oh I will." Shidou's grin went from sinister to soft again, almost too serious for Sae's liking. "You couldn't stop me if you tried."

Sae turned away, immediately pretending he hadn't heard the that. "We'll see."

As they walked out the exit door, the cold air bit at his exposed skin. He tugged his collar higher, watching as Shidou walked in the opposite way. 

The man turned as he walked, waving aggressively as always. He beamed, "You better text me the times!!" Sae turned and walked the other way with a sigh, it was all some plot to get Sae to use that stupid note to text that stupid number.

It itched Sae how the man knew that he had kept the note and taken it home. He felt invisible. And as he shoved his hands in his pockets, he tried to bite back the discreet curve of Sae's lips.

-

As soon as Sae got home, he couldn't help but grab that annoying note. He held up his phone and grit his teeth while typing in the numbers. He just needed to be short and concise:

Ryuusei Shidou

Sae: This is Sae. Tomorrow at 5PM, rest of dates TBD.

He threw his phone on the ground, suddenly getting a fleeing feeling. Like he was worried, but he didn't know why. Sae's eyes darted around the room, looking for a reason and it all landed back to his phone. 

Sat on the edge of the bed, he watched the phone that laid on the floor. He waited, and waited. Until it finally buzzed. 

Sae reached to grab it as soon as he heard the noise but stopped himself, he didn't want to respond too quickly. He walked around his room for a couple seconds and then calmly picked up his phone, pretending to be cool and calm. 

Ryuusei Shidou

Sae: This is Sae. Tomorrow at 5PM, rest of dates TBD.

Shidou: hey pretty boy 

Shidou: woulda replied earlier but im in class rn

Shidou: rest of dates?! so these are dates!

Shidou: im happy to see u admit it

Shidou: sending lots of love one sec peof yrelling atme

It was almost too much to take in. He was some how so much more overstimulating over text. The grammar, the slang, the misspelled words that obviously indicated he had to text without looking while a Professor yelled at him?

He left the man on read, not feeling the need to explain the meaning of 'dates' at the minute. He stood up and looked in the mirror.

Earlier, Rin invited him to go get dinner with some of their colleagues. Sae was familiar with most but some he had not heard of. He looked presentable enough for some cheap diner. 

Throwing his phone on the bed, he went up front to study before leaving for the dinner.

The front door swung open, revealing Rin and Isagi bustling through the door.

"Move, asshole." Rin growled, pushing past Isagi who was already apologizing for some reason. 

"Ah, hi Sae!" Isagi waved at him to which he just reluctantly looked up from his laptop and nodded. 

The door shut behind them, Rin already rolling his eyes. "You keep rolling your eyes like that, they'll get stuck." Sae kept his eyes steady on his work.

"Thanks mom." The brood mocked back, rushing off to his room. Isagi giving a small awkward bow to Sae as he followed the boy. 

-

"Rin. Let's go." He shouted, closing the laptop.

It was dark out now, the dim street lamp visible from their apartment. He grabbed a jacket and leaned against the front door, waiting. Rin finally opened his bedroom door and came up front, Isagi running after him. 

"Sorry, we were watching a movie and it ran-"

Sae stopped listening and opened the door, he wasn't one to want to waste time. They walked to the restaurant, it was just some old place that's been open for the past 100 years. It wasn't expensive and it was close, all that mattered. 

As they walked along the dark street Isagi kept talking, giving details about his day. It wasn't annoying, just there. 

They stepped onto the curb of the shopping plaza, Rin making his way to the restaurants door. Sae looked inside and sae the usuals: Reo, Nagi, Bachira, Chigiri, and Kunigami.

Dinner went on as usual. Bachira being loud and Reo fueling all of it. They were a good group of friends, honestly Sae felt like he was intruding a bit. But, he didn't mind the company. 

This was until the messages started rolling in. Five per minute. Sae obviously took notice to the constant buzzing and placed his phone under the table. He secretly looked at it and he knew he had to be careful because he just had to sit next to Reo.

He sighed, reading all the shameless messages.

Ryuusei Shidou

Shidou: Can't want for tomorrow

Shidou: Wait**

Shidou: is outside snacks allowed in the cafe?

Shidou: im gonna bring them anyway

Shidou: thinking of you and your gorgeous face

Shidou: oh man you make my heart pump like never before!

Shidou: ill leave u alone for now, probably out prepping your beautiful face for tomorrow so you can seduce me or something

Sae pressed his lips together.

Ryuusei Shidou

Sae: Gross.

It was just one word, but of course it prompted 10 more messages to be sent. All flirty and disgusting as usual. 

"Oh Sae and his mystery hunk are absolutely electric!!" Bachira yelled, slamming both hands on the table. Everyone laughed, with caution of course, except for Sae and Rin.

"Excuse me?" Sae straightened his back, taking another bite of his food. He raised an eyebrow and everyone went silence. Bachira didn't pick up on this note, "The guy I met that was sooo into you!"

"It's like that." A quick response from Sae that told everyone the opposite. Rin glared up from his dish, "Is it that creep from your class?" 

The older Itoshi looked off to the side, his annoyed glare enough to kill someone. Chigiri gave a knowing grin, "Was it that buff guy that came to sit with Sae yesterday?! The loud blonde and pink one?!"

Kunigami smiled, "Not buffer than me though." To which, Chigiri coughed out a laugh. He pat the orange haired man's shoulder and reassured, "No not buffer than you, but getting there!" 

Reo held up a hand, "Just so not important right now. Who is this dude?" 

Sae sighed, "None of this is important."

"Wrong." Half the group replied. 

Isagi gave a warm smile, "Glad your making friends!" 

The phone buzzed again, Sae felt it. He didn't look. He wouldn't. But his fingers twitched under the table.

"I'm not a charity case."

"Yeah he's not a charity case shittysagi." Rin muttered. 

As conversation went on, Sae was just left with his thoughts. He grit his teeth, mind scattered. His brain hadn't been this orientally messy in ages. And now, its all jut Shidou. Shidous hair, eyes, smile, nose, jaw. The way all his outfits exposed his lower stomach and how toned he was. The way he grabbed his arm and swayed his knee against his own every few minutes.

It contaminated Sae. 

And now, it contaminated his phone too. It buzzed every few seconds. 

Reo suddenly choked on his drink.

"Holy shi- Chigiri, look," he hissed, elbowing the redhead hard enough to make him jolt.

He turned quickly, "What is it?- oh.." Chigiri leaned in, following Reo's finger to Sae's phone, which was lighting up nonstop.

Reo's eyes widened as one of the notifications flashed across the screen; something about "extra credit" and "hands-on lessons." His jaw dropped. "Oh my god," he whispered. 

Chigiri read the message out loud in a quiet whisper, "If I fail will you tie me to my desk and punish me.. with your.. ruler? Professor?!" 

The red head clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh, which only made Reo start shaking.

Sae looked up from his bowl, unimpressed. "What?"

"Nothing," Reo said too fast, tears in his eyes from holding back laughter. Chigiri added under his breath, "Definitely not your boyfriend sexting you during dinner."

Sae shot him a flat look. "Not my boyfriend."

Reo grinned, leaning back smugly. The phone lit up again. "-someone's sure trying hard for the position."

Rin let out a quiet scoff, pretending not to be interested, but even he glanced at the phone once.

When everyone split off after dinner, Bachira hung back. He caught Sae by the sleeve, prompting his brother to turn around as well. "I've never seen you even give someone the time of day," Bachira talked in a calm matter, he wasn't teasing anymore. 

Sae blinked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means," Bachira rocked on his heels with a grin, "You've looked at your phone more tonight than you've ever looked at any of us."

Sae's expression stayed straight, but the pause that followed said enough.

Bachira's grins widened, sharp and knowing. "Guess even perfect Itoshi has a weak spot."

The older brother exhaled slowly, pretending like his teeth weren't grating. "You're imagining things." 

"Sure!" Bachira sang, already skipping ahead of them. "Whatever helps you sleep at night!!" He waved at the two as he hurried to catch Isagi and Kunigami. 

Sae's phone buzzed again in his pocket

He didn't check it. Not right now, anyway.

His footsteps carried towards his apartment. Rin just stayed there, eyes tracing Sae's body with confusion. "You really like this dude?"

"Rin please, I've already heard this from everyone today. Don't make me repeat myself-"

"I know, I know. 'Don't make me repeat myself, I hate wasting time.' but I'm different from the rest of them. Tell me do you like him?"

The smallers eye's widened, surprised at the interruption. Usually when they fought, Rin would still respect him because he was his older brother after all and Rin looked up to him whole heartedly.

He paused, telling Rin all he needed to know. 

The words finally left his chest, "No. Rin you shouldn't worry. I can take care of myself, I'm your older brother. I protect you, not the other way around."

"I still don't like him. I don't want him texting you." He began to walk, fists tightening with every stride.

Sae rolled his eyes, following after his annoying brother. "What did I just say? I can take care of myself." He said it like reassurance, but ti came out tired. Like he didn't believe any of it.  If Rin made him repeat himself one more time, he truly would be done with the conversation. 

The walk back to the apartment was silent. The silence continuing as they unlocked the door. Sae shut the door behind them, watching as Rin rush off to bed. He didn't say anything, so neither did he. 

Sae was so annoyed that he didn't even touch his phone again, throwing it onto his dresser and turning in bed. But of course, like on a schedule, Shidou invaded his mind.

Chapter Text

Sae came to the cafe 10 minutes early. He set his stuff down at the same table they had the night before. The flickering more than usual but still keep it's yellow glow.

He rolled the sleeves to his white button up and reached for his pencil. In his notebook he wrote the date and the subject. He hesitated before writing to the side: 1st tutor session with demon.

Checking his watch, he sighed. It was 4:55. He didn't know why he expected Shidou to be early, but for some reason his heart felt like it was sinking. But then it changed to a fast paced beat as he saw a familiar pair of shoes.

"You're early."

"You're earlier," Shidou gave a telling smile. Just the fact that he was five whole minutes before schedule was telling. 

"Didn't expect it." Sae continued jotting down some problems in his notebook.

A thud rang through Sae's ears as Shidou dropped into the seat across from him. He dropped his backpack to the floor, "Maybe I'm just excited to learn.." He kicked one foot up to the seat so he could tie his shoe, "orrrrr.. I didn't wanna waste a second of my time alone with my professor."

Sae gave him a slow, unimpressed glace. "Not here to ageplay with you." 

Shidou laughed, putting his foot down. He pressed his face against his fist, "The light from the window makes you look even more gorgeous." 

The notebook was pushed across the table, turning to face Shidou's direction. Sae looked up, "Let's start with derivatives." 

-

With time, Sae got more and more frustrated. It's like Shidou had never touched a math expression in his life.

"Why did you take this class?" he grit his teeth after having to explain a coefficient to the man for the fourth time. 

Shidou just flashed that stupid smile, "to meet cute nerds like you." 

"And how many 'nerds' have you used that line on?" Sae raised an eyebrow, dropping his pencil. 

The taller picked up the pencil, finishing another step to the problem. He looked up with a proud glare, "Just you. Honestly, I didn't even know I registered for the class. I don't remember doing it."

"Unfortunate for you." Sae read over the work, making sure Shidou was doing the right things.

"Very fortunate for me. Call it fate." Shidou was no longer looking at the equation. He just stared. Stared at Sae and the way his bangs fell when he leaned over. his concentrated face which consisted of scrunched eyebrows, sucking on the bottom of his lip, and the constant jitter to his eyes.

It was beautiful.

"Your fate will be horrid if you don't learn how to do these basic theorems." Sae tried to pretend like the pair of eyes on him weren't burning a hole through his chest. He tried to cover up the amount of mistakes he would make when Shidou would lean in closer. He tried to make the churning in his stomach go away.

Shidou laughed, finally looking back down at the problem. He scribbled some more, Sae watching quietly. 

It was nice. The atmosphere was warm and inviting. It wasn't too loud and the coffee was okay. It was a little hidden on campus so not many people come by. For some reason it made Shidou appear softer, his laugh more comforting than annoying.

And Sae. He was absolutely breathtaking to Shidou in all circumstances but crazily enough just him sitting there with his legs crossed, focusing, made him in all way more amazing. In Shidous eyes, Sae was the coolest and most ethereal person he had ever met or seen. 

They both just wanted to stay.

Shidou ran his fingers through his hair, catching Sae's attention. He curved his brows in a confused expression.

"Do you understand so far?" Sae cocked his head. 

"Mostly." He let his eyes off the paper and followed the buttons that lined Sae's shirt up to his face, and gave him his signature smile. 

-

Sae leaned over to look at the others work. He points, close enough for Shidou to smell his faint cologne, "You're missing a step." 

Shidou grinned, unable to help himself. "Didn't know math came with breathing exercises."

The shorter blinked, "Hm?" He propped up his elbow to fall on the table, resting his face against his fist. 

It was a mistake as Shidou leaned in, trying to get as close as possible. "You keep getting close like that and I suddenly forget how to breath."

There was a pause. Sae didn't respond, just widens his eyes and slowly sits back. His pen between his fingers. But there's a faint, almost imperceptible lift at the corner of his mouth.

The next thirty minutes, Shidou actually tried. He asked questions, focused, and got things wrong. But then, got things right. 

"That could make sense.." Shidou gave an awkward smile, looking at something the other had written.

"You clearly don't get it." Sae sighed. 

Shidou lifted a hand, still staring at the problem, and reassured Sae with a touch. He rested his hand on Sae's arm, "No, no. I get it." He blinked, looking up with a smile.

When Shidou lifted his hand, Sae felt goosebumps. It was unfamiliar, scary. He wanted to leave.

"Ah, yes.." Sae leaned back in his chair, "I'll give you some practice problems. Just tell me when you're done." Shidou frowned at the end of their hands-on teaching, but Sae was relieved. 

He was scared.

But as he stared at his computer screen, trying to work, he just couldn't. His mind was elsewhere. It was like his body wanted to flee but his brain couldn't bring itself to leave.

After just ten minutes Shidou was distracted. 

Sae felt those pink eyes staring through his soul. He reluctantly looked away from his laptop, "..What?" 

"You always this serious? Even off-duty?"

He shot him a confused glare, eyes narrowing. "Off-duty?" He repeated back. 

"When you're not all," He gestured his hands vaguely "smarty genius mode." 

Sae hesitates, eyes flickering away, "You think I'm this insanely smart person, but I'm not. Just calculated."

"Just cause you have to work for it, doesn't make you any less smart." 

There was a beat. 

"Mm."

Sae didn't know what to say. He felt so understood. It was weird. Understood by this crazy, spontaneous, and annoying guy. It irritated him deeply.

Shidou held the pencil eraser against his bottom lip, "You ever relax?"  

The light flickered, as did Sae's eyes. He looked away again, then down at his laptop. "Not really." He said it like it was the most natural thing ever, like it would be weird to relax. 

Shidou let the silence hang, tapping his pencil against the edge of the paper. Then he tilted his head, "That's kinda sad, pretty boy." 

"It's efficient." Sae even talked with efficiency as he typed on his laptop. 

"Sure, but seems a little robotic. Right?" 

"Robots don't make mistakes." Sae shot back, like he was perfectly content.

"But they don't burn out either." 

This made Sae stop, his fingers pausing. His gaze dropped to Shidou's page of math, "I don't burn out."

"You sure?" Shidou leaned closer, resting his forearms on the table. "Cause you always look like you're two seconds away from mass murder."

Sae blinked, startled, not because he was right or wrong, but because he noticed.

"You're overcompensated. Do you always analyze people this much?"

"Only the ones I like."

Sae's fingers stopped again. His face freezing. his pulse betraying him as his jaw subconsciously tightened. He scoffed, but it didn't come out as strong as he had intended.

"You don't even know me."

"Then let me."

When Sae looked up, His stomach flipped. Shidou wasn't teasing or smirking. Just waiting.

He looked in Shidou's direction too long, the weight of the words settling in the air and making it's way into Sae's chest before he looked away.

"You got this wrong." He adverted his attention to Shidou's second practice problem.

Shidou saw this as an opening, tilting his head down but lifting his eyes at Sae. "Can you explain it again, one last time. I forgot." 

The words that left the pink haired mans mouth slurred together in Shidou's head. He watched Sae's lips and how his bottom lip would get slightly caught on his top row of teeth every time he made a 'f' or 'v' sound. He let his tongue run across his top lip, turning into a small crooked smile. 

"Shidou."

He blinked.

"Ah, professor." The man flashed that seemingly innocent smile. But Sae wasn't dumb, he knew he was letting Shidou's mind wander.

"If you're not going to pay attention then what's the point?" He sighed, dropping the pencil back onto the notebook.

"My bad, I was just thinking about math stuff. I'm locked in now, promise." 

Sae exhaled, looking away for a moment. He muttered, "Math stuff my ass." But Shidou caught it, "Well if you're so clever, what do you think I was dreaming about?"

The smaller crossed his left leg over his right, looking up with a monotonous stare. "I'd rather not say. Knowing you, it's probably something inappropriate." This earned a loud laugh from Shidou, "Guess you know me too well."

Sae nodded and gestured for Shidou to keep working. But he just couldn't sit still. He reached for his pencil, already half-distracted. "So uhh, if I'm really bad at this does that mean you're gonna tutor me forever?"

This caught Sae's attention. "You can't just-"

"Say I wanna see you again? Sure I can." Shidou interrupted. He tapped the pencil against the empty glass cup with a grin. 

Sae's brain stumbled over the blunt honesty. He stared, caught between irritation and something else. Something he didn't want to name. 

His phone lit up, catching both of their attention. It was a text from his brother. Sae tilted his head, reading: 'Where are you?' He ignored it, looking forward at Shidou. Definitely couldn't tell Rin.

It buzzed again. 

'When will you be home?'

"Annoying little shit," Shidou grumbled. 

Sae's gaze shot up, making Shidou laugh.

"Sorry, Sorry!" The taller held his hands up defensively. Sae's phone already had it's black screen back on display, but Shidou reached forward and tapped it. "7:05. Time flies when you're in love."

The phone shut off again. Sae checked it to make sure with a confused face. "We were supposed to end thirty minutes ago." He exhaled through his nose. 

Shidou made a pouty face, "Might as well just get dinner.. Might as well.." he looked off to the distance, awaiting Sae's answer.

"No."

The light flickered again. Shidou whipped his head around, "Whaat, really?? I thought we were hitting it off!!" 

Sae began to pack his things, lightly closing his laptop.

Shidou leapt out of his chair, shoving all the items into his bag with a smile. He ran over to where Sae sat, offering a hand. 

But Sae ignored it and stood on his own, wrapping the backpacks straps around his shoulders. 

As they walked out the door, Sae took notice to the fact that Shidou was walking in the same direction. When just yesterday Shidou walked in the opposite direction to go home.

"Those extra thirty minutes really strengthened my huge brain." Shidou's breath visible in the cold air. The other just scoffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Don't play dumb, I know you got half those problems wrong on purpose." He just looked forward, the light from the streetlamps guiding him.

Shidou grinned, sidestepping so he's walking backwards in front of the other. "Maybe I did. You just look so hot when you're all teacher and frustrated. And when you're chewing on your pencil all focused and serious."

Sae looked to the side, avoiding everything Shidou. But this just made him lean in, voice dipping low. "Oh, come on. Don't act like you didn't like having me around."

He tripped over some pebble moving backwards and stumbled back to his feet. He ran to catch up with Sae, walking besides him now. Sae turned to glare, ready with a retort, but his mouth froze when he saw how close they were now. 

Shidou was staring at the ground, their shoulders brushed. Once, and then again when neither of them move away.

"Watch it," Sae muttered.

"Can't help it," the man shrugged, "You're just magnetic."

"Annoying." Sae's tone was thinner than usual, stretched over something tight in his chest. 

They reached the crosswalk, standing shoulder to shoulder while the red light blinked. It was close enough for Shidou to smell the faint citrus of Sae's cologne. He glanced down, making a small sound of approval to himself. 

"What?" The pink haired man turned, their arms brushing against each other.

"You smell good," Shidou casually added, eyes flicking back down to the floor.

The light before them flashed white, giving them the signal to walk. They fell into step together again, their reflections doubling in puddles along the sidewalk. 

Sae blinked, opening his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

Your cologne," Shidou repeated, "smells sexy and citrusy." 

He exhaled through his nose, hiding the way his ears burned at the compliment. "That's what you notice?"

Shidou grinned, absolutely shameless. "What? I appreciate the subtle ways you try to romance me."

"So being self aware is 'trying to romance' now?" Sae lifted his eyes, making close contact that made Shidou pause his breath.

"Tragic," His breath shaky, Sae told himself it was because of the cold and not because of Shidou's shortness of breath, "I'm easy to romance."

Sae shook his head, the exhale that left his mouth almost considered a laugh, "I'm not calling yourself 'easy' is the right way to go about that."

"But I am easy," He leaned forward with a teasing grin, "For you."

Sae bit the inside of his mouth, hiding the stupid curve in his lips that the stupid joke entailed. 

The world felt oddly still for the rush-hour street they were on. It was just their footsteps and the faint hum of the city wrapping around them. 

By the time they turned the next corner, Shidou's hand brushed his again. It lingered for a split second too long. But again, Sae didn't move. It felt almost unnatural to not move his hand away from the contact but still, he let it hang there.

"Dinner!" Shidou shot up, like he had almost forgotten why he was walking with Sae in the first place. "You owe me for being a dedicated student."

"You're not." Sae responded so fast it almost hurt Shidou's feelings.

"Still hungry though and there's a ramen place not far from here."

Sae glanced over him, absolutely unreadable. "Whatever. You're so weird."

"Yeah sure," Shidou says, smirking. "But I'm suuuper charming too."

The man doesn't speak again, his eyes watching a couple on the other side of the ride. The boyfriend held the girl close, she was wrapped up in his coat. He never paid attention to stupid stuff like that at that moment, they were highlighted. 

-

The ramen place was tucked between a laundromat and a bookstore, the kind of spot that was lined with low conversation and flickering neon signs. Sae hesitated, scanning the inside like he was calculating how much time this would take out of his schedule.

Shidou nudged his arm slightly, stepping forward to take the door. "Relax genius. They have five star reviews. One dude said the broth changed the trajectory of his life!"

"I highly doubt that."

"You wouldn't know, you negative nancy!" He opened the door and gestured for Sae to enter. He reluctantly walked inside as the waiter sat them at the ramen bar. 

"God this place smells like heaven." Shidou did a sharp inhale. And of course, Sae just had to try and ruin the mood.

"Because you're hungry."

Shidou grinned, "Maybe I just like the company."

The words hung there. It was unintentional but it came across as a little too sincere. Sae doesn't respond but his chopsticks shift in his hand. 

Their bowls arrive and Sae had to admit that the steam curled off the soup like it was alive. Sae ate quietly, movements exact and unhurried. Meanwhile, Shidou was slurping like a kid, obviously burning his tongue but he still tried to play it off.

"You eat like you're dissecting the meal," Shidou said with a mouthful, "Precision.. oh- like it's being graded! I'm really leaning into this teacher-student thing we got going on" He took another loud slurp. 

Sae rolled his eyes, "You make everything sound like a competition."

"Only cause I know you'd beat me."

It caught him off guard. Sae blinked, lowering his chopsticks slightly. His instinct is to question or correct, but Shidou's already smiling with his eyes soft when they should be teasing.

They kept eating, Shidou going on and on about his roommates, late-night karaoke, different parties he had been invited to and crashed. The way Shidou explained things, it was exciting. It made you feel almost jealous that you weren't there. 

It gave Sae something to focus on other than eating, and it was just strangely nice.

But of course something unplanned always had to happen.

Shidou's knee moved, laid against Sae's leg. Suddenly, all of Sae's focus went to the small circle of contact between them. Shidou let out a loud laugh at some climax to the story, it caused him to scooch closer. Their arms were now touching. 

It was like Shidou was trying to see how much he could touch Sae without him moving away. 

The steam kissed Shidou's skin pink. His teeth still so flashy and white. He took another mouth full of ramen, while explaining something unimportant.

"Even while slurping on ramen you are just so amazing."

It caught him off guard, along with the closeness and contact. The way Shidou looked at him, with sincerity and full pupils. It was like the words actually had meaning. And that scared Sae even more.

"You're not supposed to flirt with your tutor."

Shidou smiled, his palm leaned against his cheeks. It felt almost as if Sae wanted to play into it. "I guess that's a rule I'll have to break. Punish me?" He smiled awkwardly on purpose but then diluted it with a laugh, "You're not exactly telling me to stop."

Sae sighed, but it accidently came out more like a laugh. 

"There it is."

"There what is?"

Shidou leaned in, beaming. "A smile. I thought you might be like physically incapable either by tragic accident or tragic memory." He looked down at the bowl and then back at Sae, who had an unreadable expression. But Shidou loved every second of it. 

Sae felt his phone buzz again. Assuming it was his brother he set the phone face down on the table. 

For awhile they continue this pattern. They're both eating, Shidou talking and Sae listening. The noise of the shop fills the spaces words don't reach.

Sae found himself watching and analyzing Shidou. He was so bright and chaotic, there was something about him that felt real in a way that most people weren't.

He continued slurping the bowl as Sae set his chopsticks down. It was like Shidou was trying to savor the last drops of broth just for a chance to stay a little long. 

But Sae's voice cut through, "You're dragging it out again."

Shidou froze, mid-sip. "Hm?"

"You've been done for the past five minutes."

He swallows, smiling like he had been caught carjacking. "I'm just trying to take in this amazing atmosphere!"

Sae gave him a long, knowing, look. Then, he spoke quieter, as if he had considered not speaking up. "You could have just said you didn't want to leave."

That stopped him. Shidou's lips parted into a smile. He studied Sae's profile, the way the light hit his under lashes, the faint pink that rest on his cheeks and ears, to which Shidou prayed was blush but knew it was from the warm environment.

"Hm," He finally spit out, "Guess I don't."

They don't rush out. When they finally leave it's because the shop keeper started to sweep and bus the tables. The night air was cold, heavy with the smell of rain from yesterday. 

Shidou's shoulder brushes his again, deliberate this time, just waiting for Sae to move away. And he didn't.

Their steps synced, the silence feeling full. Shidous grin was weirdly soft and small, "So was ramen a good choice or what?"

Sae hums, "It was fine, the owner was nice"

"Just fine.. hm.." Shidou huffed, hands shoved in his pockets. "Guess we'll have to do better next time."

Sae looked up at the dark sky, "There won't be a next time. I'm supposed to be tutoring you, remember?" Shidou chuckled, "I have such a strict professor." he jokes.

Sae didn't reply, but his expression lingers in that impossible space between stern and slightly not annoyed. And when Shidou glanced over, the expression answered everything for him.

The city was way quieter now. It was around 9:30. The streetlamps now buzzed, glazing the wet pavement gold. 

Shidou's energy seemed low now, like he was forcing himself to walk slow and match Sae's calm. But it was comforting.

They stopped at a crosswalk, walking in the direction of Sae's apartment. His mind wandered as to where they would split or when. He wondered if Shidou go as far as to walk him to his door, and that horrified him. In case Rin was still conscious, to which he would most likely be angry.

The red light flashed and Shidou's hand swung forward, of course brushing against Sae's. It was quick, barely a touch. But still Sae feels a strange spark, one that burned more than the city's glow.

It was strange how when they were near each Sae felt almost gravitated towards Shidou. And he didn't want to be. He wondered if this was normal. Like if when becoming friends you feel this lured by the other.

The light flashed white. As sae stepped off the curb to the road he tripped over it on accident. Not enough to fall down but enough to make him stumble. But Shidou's hand was immediately there. One hand firmly wrapped around Sae's arm and then the other catching his waist.

When Sae was steadied, Shidou released the hand on his waist. But the hand nearing his arm was still ghosting over him. 

"Are you always this handsy?" Sae looked at him. 

Shidou's hand still lingered there, the heat rushing through Sae to his ears and face. He was grateful for the dark lighting.  

"Only when my pretty boy is about to faceplant."

"Convenient excuse." Sae's face bit the inside of his mouth, jaw clenching. 

"Effective though." Shidou muttered under his breath.

They continued to walk through the dark, Shidou decided a good topic of conversation was to critique the random customers outfits that he had remembered from the ramen shop. They were just one block away from Sae's apartment. 

"Wolf shirt?! It's not 2016-"

"This is my street, my apartment is right there." Sae pointed down the dark street. 

Shidou rocked on the balls and heels of his feet, "Weeelll.. Why don't I just walk you to your apartment to be sure."

"Be sure of what?"

"..Kidnapping..?"

"I'm twenty years old." 

Shidou grabbed him by the shoulder and began walking down the poorly lit street, "If you ask me that's a prime age for kidnapping. Tons of twenty year old's get kidnapped!"

Sae just walked along, letting out his usual sigh. "Name one."

"How would I know, They're all kidnapped and in a dark room somewhere.." He looked around dramatically as if to try and protect Sae.

Sae just let out another exhale that came across more as a laugh. 

They walked up the stairs to get to his apartment door, going to number 103. They stopped outside the door, Shidou leaning against the wall. "Siigh, guess it's time for you to go.." 

Sae ignored the dramatic and attention seeking audible sigh, he hesitated in front of the door, "our next study session is two days from now, I will text you the time later or tell you in class tomorrow."

"Class tomorrow?! We do??" Shidou straightened his back, crossing his arms with a surprised look.

"Every Monday and Wednesday.." Sae searched for his keys in his pocket.

"Wait so the test is 6 days from now..?"

The man nodded.

"In that case," Shidou turned against the wall, now facing the other. "I need you to come to this small very small hangout on Friday night, no questions asked."

"Are you trying to trick me into going to a party with you?" Sae tilted his head towards Shidou, who folded almost instantly under the tiniest amount of pressure.

"Okay fine. Dammit. I want you to go to a party with me."

Sae returned his attention to the door. Unlocking it. With no answer, Shidou resorted to begging. "..Please?? Please, please..?" 

"I'll think about it." Sae turned the knob, "Goodbye Shidou."

There was a warmness in the cold air.

"Goodnight Sae." Shidou smile, his lashes glistening from the light near the door. His face golden. It was to Sae's surprise that the man did not ruin the moment with a stupid nickname. 

Shidou stayed leaned there until the click of the lock was heard from the other side. 

As soon as Sae retreated into his own home, his mind still kept racing with thoughts of Shidou. The electricity between them as their knees touched under the counter, different lines from Shidou echoed in his head.

The apartment was dim except for the glow from the TV Rin had left on. His younger brother was sitting on the couch, legs propped up and touching his stomach, hoodie covering his hair. 

"You're really late." Rin said without looking away. 

Sae took his shoe off, clearing his throat. "Had tutoring."

Rin finally turned his head, "With who?"

"Someone from my class." He put his stuff down on the table, feeling the weight of the kind of lie on his chest.

Rin's gaze sharpened, like he caught something when Sae's voice dipped. "Is it that creep?" Sae inhaled through his nose, "That's not his name, but sure."

"You never said you were tutoring him."

Sae ignored the implication and moved to the kitchen, getting a glass of water. "You don't have to know everything I do."

"I do when your tutoring sessions are running until 10 at night." Rin's tone was quiet but the words landed heavy. Sae filled the glass up with water. Not responding. 

Rin continued, "Did you sprint home or something?"

It caught him off guard. Sae turned, his pulse jumping. "What?" 

Rin tilted his head, reminding Sae of how he would watch and study game footage. "Your face.. and ears, red."

Sae's throat went dry. "You're imagining things."

Rin just narrowed his eyes, "You smell like cigarettes too. And ramen."

Sae froze, his brain scrambling. He tried to label it as innocent, "Went for food after. He smokes, that's all."

"Name?"

Sae hesitated, and Rin saw it instantly. He leaned forward, "Really not gonna tell me?"

The older brother just headed towards his room, "Doesn't matter."

Rin shout after him, "That creep isn't worth it."

"Goodnight, Rin" he just retreat to his room. It felt like something that didn't belong not only followed him home but made it's way inside.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket around 5 times, he didn't even have to check who it was. He knew it was Shidou.

He could already picture the lewd thoughts Shidou was painting in their private messages.

When the door to his room finally closed behind him, his hands moved by themself, grabbing the phone. 

It buzzed again.

Shidou Ryuusei

Shidou: seemed like you had a fun night

Shidou: I knwo I did 

Shidou: Wish i couldve come inside tho because then we could go to ur room Specifically to the bed and yk

Shidou: You get it probs

Shidou: Please come to the party I want to see you

Shidou: wish I could see you now...

Sae stared at the messages, thumb hovering for a second too long before shutting off the screen.

For the first time in years, he couldn't decide if he wanted to run away from someone or toward them. Sae knew the safe and the risky option but for some reason it was still hard to choose. 

He just couldn't help but let the edges of his mouth curve as he took one last glance at his phone.