Chapter 1: It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault...
Chapter Text
Yes, Crowley woke up screaming. Again.
He'd learned after the first time it happened, that he could never again let his own anguish rouse the angels in his care.
Aziraphale had been left traumatised that first time - stunned, wide-eyed, impossible to reach, terrified as Crowley had moved in to comfort him. Gabriel stood trembling, muscles taut, ready to defend against whatever intruder Crowley's screams had alerted him to.
It turns out, muscle memory is a thing, and even though their minds had been purged of the painful memories of Crowley's assaults, Crowley didn't know how to stop their bodies remembering.
Crowley believed it was specifically his screams that triggered this response in his angels. So he decided to draw a miracle around himself each time he readied himself for bed - one that would keep his screams silenced, his limbs still, and his angels safe. It worked.
He could do this. Couldn't he? He didn't have a choice, really... He quietly got out of bed without disturbing his angels, walked into the bathroom, closed the door, soundproofed the room, sat in a heap and wailed.
Crowley is fucked.
Chapter 2: If we forget, we're doomed to repeat it!
Summary:
They had tried. Tried healing through forgiveness. It wasn't long before they discovered dangerous repercussions to this approach.
Notes:
A fight, some cock, some feels.
Aziraphale, Gabriel, and Crowley fight it out, claws and all.
Chapter Text
Aziraphale froze, whimpered quietly, and Crowley stopped in his tracks.
"Angel, I can't do this, you're not ready. I'm not ready. We shouldn't have tried again so soon." Aziraphale burst into tears, full of apologies, as Crowley gently started pulling out of Aziraphale's tightly clenched hole.
Suddenly Gabriel burst into the bedroom in a rage. "Get the FUCK off him!" Crowley pulled out too fast, sprang to his feet, wings out. Aziraphale screamed in pain. Gabriel saw how hard Crowley's now exposed cock was, and flew at him.
Aziraphale was hurt - Crowley's sudden withdrawal had torn him (that damn fat head on his massive cock that would otherwise have given Aziraphale a thrill as it entered and/or pulled free from his hole, had ripped him as he pulled out).
Gabriel was trying to tear Crowley apart. Crowley was trying not to hurt the angel, but needed to get to Aziraphale and heal him.
"Gabe, stop! Please, I wanted him to!" Aziraphale cried out.
"I know what I saw Az! He was fucking raping you - you were crying!" Gabriel screamed back as he grabbed Crowley's cock and tried to twist it off. "Why couldn't you just fuck me instead, demon?! I could take it!"
Crowley passed out.
---
Crowley was floating. He felt warm. Safe. Loved. Calm. He'd know Aziraphale's healing warmth anywhere. Wait. Healing? What?
Oh, right. Gabriel had wrenched his cock off and Aziraphale was putting it back on. Fuck.
Crowley stilled, listening to the conversation between his angels...
"Sunshine, why did you want him to fuck you? I'm here, you could ask me. I'd never hurt you like he does." Gabriel sounds tired, hurt, and just done with everything.
"Gabe, my love, I want us all to be intimate together again. I miss how our physical love brings us closer together. I know, I know, I was silly and thought I was ready, but Gabe, I can't deal with these memories any more, I wanted new ones. Ones where I chose to be intimate again. Where I was the one who invited Crowley in, instead of just being made to take what he was forcing on me."
"Ok, ok, I get it. But Az..." Gabriel took a steadying breath, "Az, I don't know if I can ever see you go through that again. I watched him rape you, so many times. I couldn't stop him. I saw how your heart broke more each time he did it, and even though we rid our own memories after every rape, they kept coming back and I don't know why. If I knew how to get rid of those memories for both of us forever, I would do it in a heartbeat."
"But Gabe, if we wipe too many memories, what if the good ones go too? Like when I first realised I loved you? Our first kiss under that tree in the park. The times you laughed with me? The first time you made love to me? The first time I kissed Crowley? All I need is for the good memories to outweigh the bad - I'm not willing to risk erasing all the bad memories, if it means losing even one of the good ones."
"And besides," Aziraphale continues, "if we get rid of all the bad ones, what stops us repeating the same bullshit all over again?"
"I can do it," Crowley whispered. "I can remove the memories you don't want, and protect you. Permanently."
Chapter 3: My cock! That fucking hurt!
Summary:
Crowley fulfills his promise.
Gabriel is allowed to remember only one thing - to end Crowley if he ever hurts Aziraphale again.
Chapter Text
"Leave us, Sunshine," Gabriel growled, "I have things to discuss with the Demon."
Aziraphale tried to object, but Gabriel grabbed him hard. "Leave. Now." Aziraphale is shaking his head, trembling, frightened. Of Gabriel? Perhaps. Of what Gabriel will do to Crowley? Definitely. Crowley nodded to Aziraphale, "It's ok angel, Gabe has questions and I'd like to answer."
Aziraphale reluctantly plods from the room, Crowley flinging a small miracle his way to heal the bruises Gabriel's grip had set in motion. The second he shuts the door, Gabriel picks Crowley up by the throat and slams him into the wall. "You fucking hurt him one more time, I will fucking end you."
Crowley snaps and appears across the room. "No argument here, Gabe, in fact, I'm relying on you to keep your word on that."
Gabriel doesn't turn to face Crowley. He lowers his head, drops his shoulders and starts sobbing. He almost whispers, "I know you're stronger than me. I can't stop you. I'm begging you - please don't hurt him. No more. No matter what happens, please, Crowley. I love him so much. I can't bear to see him hurt like that again." Gabriel falls to his knees, Crowley darting to catch him, now holding him in his arms.
Crowley embraces Gabriel gently, combing through his hair, holding him against his chest. "I think you'll find that today, Gabe, you caused his pain, not me." Of course, Gabriel knows he's right, but won't admit it. "Gabe, you need to be gentle with my angel too, can you promise me that?" Gabriel nods, tears making Crowley's shirt damp.
"I'm sorry Crowley, for calling you Demon. I was trying to make a show of strength for Az." Crowley knows this and forgives him on the spot. They continue talking, Gabriel asking how this is going to work, Crowley explaining the best he can. Gabriel lifts his face to Crowley by the end of the discussion and their lips meet. It wasn't planned, it just happened. Like the most natural thing in the world. The kiss is gentle, healing, an agreement, and far better than any handshake!.
Gabriel pulls away first. "I'm sorry for ripping your cock off, too." This catches Crowley by surprise and he can't stop the hysterical laughter now filling the room. "Yeah, Gabe, that fucking hurt!"
Aziraphale bursts into the room, not knowing if the laughter was joyous or maniacal. Turns out to be both. Aziraphale's worried face relaxes as he sees his two great loves embracing, with great big goofy grins on both of them. "I don't know if I can keep up with this rollercoaster of emotions - please tell me you two have actually made up?"
Crowley and Gabriel, still chuckling, both nod. "Thank you for healing my cock, Angel." The two of them burst into laughter again. Aziraphale didn't quite understand why reattaching Crowley's cock was the funniest thing right now, but trusted that the two beings in front of him did.
"Ok, Angel, please take a seat, let me explain." Crowley has managed to stop giggling long enough now to string a few words together. "And please let me say everything at once - I don't want to leave anything out."
"The best I can figure is that the two of you had used a miracle to just forget everything done to you each time I..." oh god, he didn't want to say it, but he owed it to them both to call it what it was. "...each time I... fuck... I'm so sorry... each time I raped you." He almost whispered that last part, holding up his hand when Aziraphale went to protest it. "Angel, it doesn't matter how it happened, you were raped, and I did it."
Crowley continued, "Right, so that's one way to forget. But it's also the reason it didn't work. Memories are things. They will always exist. So what you did was only hide them temporarily until something else happened to let them be remembered again. What we need to do is give the memories somewhere else to be entirely."
"Where?" Asked Aziraphale. Gabriel answered this one, "Inside Crowley's mind."
Chapter 4: Where's your head at, Crowley?
Summary:
Crowley puts his final offer in front of Aziraphale.
No argument.
This is how it's going to be.
Oh, and smut. Because why not?
Chapter Text
"Are you quite out of your godforsaken mind, Crowley?"
Ouch. That was accurate.
"Angel, it's the only way for me to heal you. The deeds are mine to deal with, not yours, and it's only fair that I come at Michael with everything to stop her from messing with me again."
Gabriel takes over. "Sunshine, please understand that I've already agreed to let Crowley take mine. I want them gone, but not forgotten. He'll be taking the pain from us, but using the memories to protect us."
"How do you only take the memories that matter?" Aziraphale questioned softly. "That's the tricky part," Crowley replied. "And I'm so sorry Angel, but you need to relive them in order for me to take them."
"You - you mean I have to let you... no, Crowley, please..." Aziraphale has gone white, trembling, whimpering "No... please don't make me... not again... please no... no... no..." like a twisted mantra.
Crowley realises too late. "Oh, fuck Angel, no! I'm sorry, no you don't have to do a thing other than remember clearly each incident you want me to remove! I need to see everything, I need you to walk me through each of your memories, but I won't ask you to do anything physically. Breathe, Angel, please... breathe." Crowley's heart breaks a little bit more. God, he'd give anything never to see that look on his love's face ever again, but he has work to do.
The room is spinning. Gabriel is there to hold Aziraphale so he doesn't fall, wrapping his magnificent wings around his Sunshine to hold him steady. "Thank you Gabe," Aziraphale whispers. Gabriel draws Aziraphale into a tender kiss, while Crowley's heart breaks again. Will Aziraphale ever look at him like that after today?
As Aziraphale recovers, they continue discussing, and Aziraphale finally says, "Crowley, promise me this won't hurt you." Crowley holds Aziraphale's hand, "I promise, Angel."
Crowley lied. He's a demon. It's what they do.
Aziraphale nods, and Crowley starts by placing his beloved Angel on the bed. Laying down next to him, Crowley cradles Aziraphale's face in one hand, using that connection to access Aziraphale's memories. "Sleep now, Angel, it will work better if you're not awake for this."
But Aziraphale gazes into Crowley's eyes. "I love you, Crowley, please remember that." Crowley kisses Aziraphale gently, his lips parting slightly to take Aziraphale's in. His clever tongue tracing Aziraphale's lips until they open and let him in. Crowley dives in and devours his angel, Aziraphale whimpers and moans softly into Crowley's mouth, reaching up to run a hand through Crowley's hair. "Please, Crowley, please make love to me." Crowley's cock sprang to life, instantly hard. Crowley's mind helpfully states that it's good to know it still works properly. Oh hell, just when Crowley thought he had control of himself...
Crowley lifts away from Aziraphale's lips. "Gabe, I might need your help here."
"On it!" says Gabriel, and leaps onto the bed, landing on Aziraphale's other side, making Aziraphale giggle.
"Angel, Gabe will take care of preparing you for my cock, won't you, Gabe?" The angel nods, fingers automatically slick with lube. Aziraphale turns toward Crowley and rests a leg over his hip. Gabriel gently finds and rests his fingers on Aziraphale's hole and traces slowly around, pressing softly against the muscle, feeling it relax. Aziraphale sighs into Crowley's mouth, letting a little whine escape him. Crowley hums against Aziraphale's lips and leans in for a deeper kiss.
Crowley slides his thigh higher between Aziraphale's legs and grinds his hardened cock against his hip. Aziraphale is a writhing mess immediately, and Gabe's finger dips inside his hole effortlessley. "Oh my good angel," Gabriel whispers into Aziraphale's ear, "taking my finger so easily. Shall I add another now?"
"Yesss please..." Aziraphale whispers against Crowley's lips. Gabriel presses another finger in, slowly moving his hand forward, letting his fingers find that smallest of spots inside his lover that makes him... "...oh yes, Sunshine, arch your back just like that, feel how much we love you." Aziraphale moans loudly, groans just enough to let Crowley know he's lost in sensations too blissful to question.
Gabriel continues to gently finger his angel, kissing from his shoulder up his neck, and growling in his ear. Aziraphale's body responds instantly. Between Crowley's cock grinding on him, Crowley's lips devouring his own, and Gabriel's talented fingers and tongue, he's ready. "Crowley," he breathes, "please take me now." "Nnngghhh," Crowley growls into Aziraphale's mouth, snaps all their clothes away, and Gabriel removes his fingers from Aziraphale's hole. Crowley lays his angel on his back, lifts his knees outwards, presses his giant cock head against Aziraphale's hole, and gently leans into it.
Aziraphale makes sounds Crowley has never heard from him before. Deep moans, almost guttural growling. Gabriel has taken his own cock in hand and is stroking himself in time with Crowley's thrusts into Aziraphale. Crowley is gently pushing inside his love, a little at a time, until he finally bottoms out, balls pressed hard against Aziraphale's skin.
Another groan from Aziraphale, as Crowley withdraws, and slides back in again. Again, long, slow, gentle movements, in, out, in, out, oh god but Crowley can feel Aziraphale's hole clenching involuntarily as he pulls out only until his cock head catches on Aziraphale's rim, then he sinks back into his warm, wet, tight heat.
Crowley's pace increases until he's got a perfect rhythm going. Aziraphale's groans and gasps delight Crowley. All of a sudden, Aziraphale throws his head back in pleasure as he cums surprisingly forcefully, all over his belly and chest, his clenching hole forcing Crowley's orgasm out of him without warning, the sight of which then drives Gabriel over the edge, and he cums hard, spraying Crowley and Aziraphale, as Crowley's cock throbs and pulses his hot cum deep inside Aziraphale.
Well, that was a thing.
Chapter 5: Liminal space
Summary:
Crowley takes Aziraphale's memories and learns first hand what it means to be raped.
Gabriel saves Crowley.
Aziraphale is healed.
Notes:
Ooh this one gets rough - Crowley gets schooled and just can't - take care
Chapter Text
Aziraphale is ready. He drifts off, finding himself in the sky garden high above London streets. Interesting that this should be his mental default. Clean, white, unblemished, like heaven. But with an abundance of plants. Crowley smugly realises this is his influence.
"Oh, don't look so pleased with yourself," mumbles Aziraphale. Crowley giggles. Proper giggles. Aziraphale smiles warmly.
"Gabe is keeping an eye on us, our bodies, we're safe, Angel." Crowley reaches for Aziraphale's hands. "What do I do?" Aziraphale lets Crowley take his hands in his.
"Trust me." And Aziraphale does.
A jolt runs through Aziraphale. Almost a smiting, but without pain. Aziraphale can feel Crowley combing through his mind, their history together, this could take some time. Crowley wants to be thorough, searching for the very first time his angel was violated. "Stop, please stop." The tender pleas drawing Crowley toward the memory.
Aziraphale grips Crowley's hands tightly, whimpering so quietly, he trembles. "Angel, it's a memory now, it can't cause you any injury. You're safe. I'm here to take this one."
Aziraphale cries out. It hits Crowley all at once.
Pain. Sorrow. PAIN. Fuck. Crowley can feel everything from this memory. He opens his eyes and comes face to face with, well, himself. FUCK! Dead eyes, a twisted grimace on his face, he can feel his cock thrusting in too far, too fast, but he feels it as Aziraphale did. Held in place. Forced to take his cock unwillingly. Nobody to help. Oh god please no more! FUUUUUUUUCK!
"Crowley, CROWLEY! WAKE UP!" Gasping, Crowley fights his way back to conciousness to find Gabriel's worried face above him. "Holy fuck. Gabe, I'm so sorry. So so sorry. Fuck. FUCK! I never wanted to rape you, or Aziraphale - fucking bitch poisoned me. Fuck!" Crowley can hardly move, but has to vomit - Gabe miracles away the need to puke, and holds Crowley to his chest.
Crowley howls - the pain is too much. "This is what Aziraphale has been carrying around? This is what it was like for you?" Gabriel said, "It got easier over time, but yeah."
Crowley's sobs continued, almost screaming, "I only saw one incidence. ONE RAPE! How the fuck have you two managed with however many times this happened?"
"We had each other," Gabriel confided. "Then we forgot."
Oh god, how was Crowley meant to endure? He had so many more to relieve Aziraphale from.
Aziraphale woke up, blinking, feeling kinda better. "I don't know what you did, my love, but I feel amazing! Thank you!"
Crowley hid his face and said, "Sure thing Angel, let's get stuck into it again." He could do this.
"Gabe," he whispered, "I think I'm bleeding, and my wrists hurt. If this happens with every memory, it's gonna take forever for me to get through these and recuperate between memories. Can you please just send me healing energy non-stop? Don't wait for me to wake up. I'm gonna try doing the whole lot all at once, because if I wake up after the next one, I can't guarantee I'm strong enough to go under again."
Gabriel understood. Nodded. It was the reason he was screaming for Crowley to wake up. He got the miracle ready, and Crowley went back to Aziraphale's liminal space.
Pain. Sorrow. PAIN. Fuck. Again and again. Rape after rape. Always the same look on his face. Always the same pain, sometimes different surroundings, mostly in the bookshop. God, how was he ever gonna be able to look at his own reflection after this?
Feeling everything Aziraphale felt, every thrust, every tear, Gabriel was doing his best to mend Crowley, but was having trouble keeping up. Crowley loved him dearly for it.
Finally, he had finished picking the last rape from Aziraphale's mind. He flicked another miracle at Aziraphale to make sure he stayed sleeping until Crowley was fully healed.
When Crowley opened his eyes again, Gabriel was holding him, had his wings wrapped around him, and Crowley started to sob. Absolute gut-wrenching sobs. He aplologised for every action, every word that may have hurt Gabriel. Gabriel just held him until he slowed down.
Aziraphale started stirring, so Crowley quickly mentally packed all Aziraphale's memories into a folder stuffed right in the back of his mind labelled "Fuck You Michael" and threw up a quick miracle to tidy himself.
"Hiya, Angel!" Crowley greeted Aziraphale. "How do you feel?"
"Crowley, my dear, I feel fantastic. Thank you for asking. Gabriel, shall we have tea?
The transformation was immediate and wonderfully obvious. Aziraphale looked less troubled, he naturally seemed younger, when he rose to cross the room where Gabriel and Crowley were, he took confident, long strides, without fiddling with his ring, or waistcoat.
Aziraphale swept Crowley up into a steamy kiss with a flourish, then did the same with Gabriel.
"How are my two favourite beings today???"
"Perfectly tickety-boo, Angel," Crowley lied again.
Chapter 6: Carpe diem, Crowley
Summary:
Aziraphale is confident and beautiful and sweet and sexy.
Gabriel's turn has arrived and Crowley is nervous.
Chapter Text
Aziraphale had aboslutely no memory of the times he'd been abused. He was no longer troubled by sleepless nights, and had a glow to him that mesmerised Crowley and Gabriel.
"Gabe, we have to do you now," Crowley whispered. "We can't wait any longer. I can't wait any longer."
Gabriel suddenly wept, stopping time. "Crowley, what if my feelings change for him? What if the reason I fell in love was because we were bonded in trauma? What if I lose that love for him?"
Gabriel's sad eyes met Crowley's warm ones. Gabriel settled a little, the panic subsiding. "Gabe, I'm only removing the hurtful memories, memories which you've already shown me, right?" Gabriel nodded. "Right then, the beautiful times with us all together will remain, don't worry."
Gabriel nodded again, thoughtfully, and Crowley reached for Gabriel's hands. "Gabe, let's go to bed for this part. Time will have to start again soon, and I don't want him seeing what's coming."
They lay together on the bed. Crowley rests his hand on Gabriel's cheek, intending to start, when Gabriel pulls him into a soft kiss. Oh Crowley has missed this. "Gabe," he sighs. Gabriel opens his eyes and gazes into Crowley's golden orbs. "I love you Crowley, no matter how today turns out, please know this." Crowley leans in and kisses Gabriel again, deeply, caressing his skin, his hand moving lower along Gabriel's body. "I love you too, Gabe." Then he snaps, and they both sleep.
"Hmm, where are we, Gabe?" Gabriel looked around - they stood on golden sands, with small waves rolling onto the beach. The sun is low in the sky and there are four deck chairs nearby. "This is where I wanted you, Az, and me to spend time after everything settles. Second coming, whatever."
"Who is the fourth chair for?" Crowley asked. "God," says Gabriel quietly. "I still set a place for her at our table."
Crowley thought it a splendid idea - if she ever did join them, he had things to say.
He reached for Gabriel's hands, took them, held them gently, and let the same jolt he sent Aziraphale, right into Gabriel. Gabriel threw his head back and let loose a silent scream.
It was easier this time, much easier than with Aziraphale. Gabriel had already shown Crowley the images of past assaults, he'd already experienced them, so all Crowley needed now was to find each one and take it. There were a couple of others, with Gabriel suffering at the hands (and cocks) of demons that Crowley recognised. Bastards! Crowley grabbed these too, but none were so graphic as with Aziraphale.
Before he finished, he held Gabriel's hands and said "Do you know why we're here, Gabe?" "No, my love," Gabriel smiled, "but I'd really like to have your cock inside me soon!" Crowley chuckled.
"One more thing, Gabe, please keep this memory safe - Michael hurt me. She did things to me I can't explain. I'm safe now, you're safe, Aziraphale is safe, but if you see her, please protect Aziraphale. Protect yourself. Protect me only if it doesn't put you both in danger. I don't want her to hurt me again, but you and Aziraphale are the priority."
Gabriel nodded just once, caressed Crowley's cheek, pulled him in for a kiss, and that's how they both awoke on the bed.
Crowley groaned, fuck he hurt - he nearly asked Gabriel to heal him, but he managed a miracle himself. All going well, he should be in tip top shape. Ew, he's thinking like his Angel now - Crowley giggles, and drags his arse off the bed.
Gabriel reaches out to hold his hand - "I will keep you safe, Crowley. I'll keep Aziraphale safe too. One day you will tell me why?"
"Yes, Gabe," Crowley lied, "I'll tell you everything."
Chapter 7: Bliss, for now
Summary:
Just for a little while, everything was perfect.
Crowley watches his angels in the throes of passion, while he sips on the whiskey he'd poured for the three of them.
It was a beautiful thing, watching his two great loves devour each other - taking turns moving inside each other, kissing gently but deeply, truly making love.
Crowley is trying to feel worthy of joining them, but wistfully feels unworthy. He doesn't want to spoil their experience, so he watches, sips, swallows, takes his cock in hand, and strokes himself to their rhythm for a change.
He wants ...
Notes:
A little bit of smut, a little bit of feels, a touch of angst.
Ok, I admit it, maybe a smidge more than a little smut.
Chapter Text
"...Aziraphale..." Gabriel sighs his love's name as Aziraphale works his cock expertly into his throat.
Crowley hums in approval, sipping his whiskey, hand on his own cock, stroking it, matching Aziraphale's movements. Aziraphale works from root to tip and back again, slowly, deliberately, carefully. He hums along the length of Gabriel's cock, driving him mad with want.
"..ahhhh... Sunshine, you're perfect like this. My beautiful angel. ...mmmm..." Gabriel gasps, "...OHHHhhhfuckyespleasedothatthingwithyourtongueagain...."
Not only does Aziraphale do that sweet thing with his tongue again, he gently slides his fingers across Gabriel's hole, lube miraculously easing the way. Gabriel shudders, "Az, yes... please... oh sweet mercy..." Aziraphale is only massaging Gabriel's rim, but Gabriel is clearly ready to cum, so Aziraphale picks up the pace, bobbing on his sizeable shaft, letting a finger dip into Gabriel, who moans deeply. Aziraphale finds what he's looking for, and gently lets his fingers run tiny circles over it, just how Gabriel loved it.
Gabriel's breath stops, he's arching his back in slow motion, a sound building within him. Aziraphale slows his pace again (because he can be a bit of a bastard), moving, sucking, slurping, swallowing, stroking Gabriel's prostate, all maddeningly slowly. Crowley's almost there. He can feel his orgasm building... just a little more, my angel, he thinks...
Suddenly Gabriel lets loose a holler that comes from deep inside, cumming hard down Aziraphale's throat, cock pulsing with what feels like gallons of cum. Aziraphale dutifully swallowing everything coming out of Gabriel's cock, humming, moaning, gulping every drop until Gabriel's cock stops flooding his mouth and throat. Gabriel drops to the bed, sweaty, puffed, trying desperately to catch his breath.
"Oh god Az, you are spectacular!" Aziraphale giggles, "Thank you, my love."
Crowley, his hand still on his cock, stroking it, calls to Aziraphale, "Angel, if you're still parched, I may have a little something extra to quench your thirst." Aziraphale looks up, gazes lustfully at Crowley's shaft, and makes his way over to kneel at Crowley's feet. "Of course, my love."
Aziraphale opens his mouth, ready to receive Crowley's essence, his cum, his semen, his praise, his cock, anything to please the being gazing back at him with such love in his eyes. "Such a good angel, ready to take me, please may I unload on your tongue?" Crowley is working his cock faster. "Yes please Crowley, please let me taste you."
Oh god, that did it - Crowley held his angel's throat, tilting his chin just right, working his cock above Aziraphale's waiting, wet mouth, beautiful tongue, with his gorgeous eyes looking up at him with such trust.... "Ohhhhh ffuuuuuuuck..." Crowley's cock erupts and his cum starts flowing over Aziraphale's tongue, down into his throat. Aziraphale swallows as much as he can, but a few drops fall on to Crowleys hand. When Crowley's cock finally stops pulsing, Aziraphale brings his hands up to hold the hand that has cum spilled on it, and licks it clean, while staring Crowley in the eyes. "Oh Angel, you really are perfect," Crowley sighs, "Fuck I want this forever."
Aziraphale stands, leading Crowley toward the bed, where Gabriel is waiting. They lay down, Crowley in the middle, with his angels either side, their limbs tangled. "I love you both so much," Crowley sighs. Gabriel and Aziraphale declare their love to each other and Crowley, then settle and drift off to sleep.
Safe, loved, warm, and ... oh wait... the screaming.
Crowley's screaming.
"No no no no please... please stop... please...!"
Chapter 8: Crowley's anguish
Summary:
And so it begins. Crowley's mind starts breaking under the weight of holding their memories.
He can't hide it from his angels, yet, but will learn to, as the coming weeks were to prove difficult for Crowley.
But there is comfort. And hope. And kisses.
Notes:
Rape flashbacks for this one - see the tags - take care
Chapter Text
Aziraphale, shaking, terrified. Gabriel poised, ready to fight to protect his angel. Neither knowing why their bodies are reacting this way, when they should be comforting Crowley instead.
Crowley is on the floor, clutching his arms tightly around his body, pleading for something or someone to stop "...nnnnnnoooooo please stop... please stop... please stop... stop... stop... please" All he can see in his mind's eye is his own face, feel his own cock violating his body.
Eventually Crowley shrieks, "NOOOOooooooo!"
The memories Crowley took from Aziraphale and Gabriel did not stay neatly in the folder named "Fuck You Michael", he was reliving them. His body started bleeding as the violation continued, his arms and neck starting to show bites and bruises as if strong hands were restraining him, his wings burst forth and he wrapped himself in them.
And still, Gabriel stood firm, ready to protect Aziraphale.
It was only when Gabriel determined there was no threat to his angel, that he finally moved to comfort Crowley. Without even knowing it, Gabriel was doing exactly what Crowley had told him to - first protect himself and Aziraphale above all else.
"Crowley, love, I don't know what's happening, but you're hurt. Can I heal you? Can I hold you?" Gabriel kneels down, holds Crowley's hand, and readies a miracle. Crowley nods slightly, groaning in pain, and Gabriel sends his healing miracle into Crowley's body. That small gasp tells Crowley that Gabriel knows absolutely the kinds of injuries he's healing, but thank someone he didn't say anything out loud in front of Aziraphale. Fuck. That's gonna be a tricky conversation later.
Crowley actually starts feeling better, the memories have faded, the pain of being raped so viciously (even if only via Aziraphale's memory) is subsiding, and if it weren't so fucking horrible, he'd have a laugh about having finally followed Hastur's instruction to go fuck himself.
They all settled in bed again, Gabriel holding Crowley tightly to himself, a few tears spilling down Gabriel's face, Aziraphale starfishing beside the two of them, fast asleep. Gabriel softly says, "Crowley, your injuries, it's like you've been violated in the most intimate way. Please, is there anything else I can do? Someone I can beat to death for you?"
Crowley chuckled, "Thanks Gabe, but no, it happened a long time ago," which technically wasn't a lie. "I'm grateful you helped me - I really needed a friend right then and you..." Crowley choked back a sob, "...god, you... Gabe, I'm just thankful you did what you did..." Crowley sobs quietly for a few moments, Gabriel wraps his arms around his Crowley, and kisses his neck softly.
Crowley resolved right then to wrap himself in a miracle before going to bed with his angels. One that would stop him interrupting his angels' sleep.
Which was a good thing as he would soon start reliving them every night.
For now, he cast a small miracle to fade this evening's episode from Gabriel's mind.
Collecting his thoughts, shoving those same memories back into the folder for Michael, Crowley fell back to sleep.
Chapter 9: Gabriel, what have you done?
Summary:
Crowley's exhausted, Gabriel is concerned, he does a thing.
Notes:
No violence, just gentle conversation in this chapter. All will soon be well.
Chapter Text
Gabriel knew something was desperately wrong with Crowley, but he couldn't remember, and Crowley wouldn't talk. He just kept saying, "I'm ok Gabe, really."
Bullshit. Gabriel knew what caused Crowley's injuries, but never saw it happen. Only saw the aftermath when he unfurled Crowley's wings from his body, and Gabriel could see the violations that had taken place.
Crowley would leave the bed early each morning, Gabriel would find him passed out on the floor of the bathroom, or huddled in a corner of the bedroom, or even one time he was curled up under the bed.
Gabriel didn't want to worry his Sunshine over what he believed was happening, so he'd heal Crowley (with his permission) and hold him until he was able to walk on his own.
Gabriel's heart broke more each time he found Crowley.
Finally, he felt he had no choice...
Crowley opened his eyes. He was on Gabriel's beach. The sun still low in the sky, warm breeze, gentle waves lapping at the golden sand. Could be worse.
Sitting in one of the deck chairs was Gabriel himself, drink in hand (one of those drinks with the little frou-frou umbrellas in it).
Taking a sip, Gabriel spoke.
"Crowley, I can't keep helping you. Someone is hurting you, and it breaks my heart that it keeps happening. I want to protect you, but you won't let me."
Crowley opened his mouth to speak, but find he could not. The panic in his eyes prompted Gabriel to sooth him.
"Please relax. Breathe. I needed to call for reinforcements. I can't stay while they help you, that's part of the deal, but please, please allow someone to help you, if not me. You are safe, there is no danger here, and you will be returned to me, whole."
Gabriel gets up, walks over to Crowley, rests a hand on his love's cheek and looks down with sad eyes... "I love you so much it hurts. Please forgive me for what I've done. I had nowhere else to turn."
Crowley's panic is rising again, like wtf has Gabriel done? "I won't remember this discussion, my love, that's also part of the deal. I won't even remember what brought us here today. What I will remember is that you are mine, you and Aziraphale both. And I am yours. Please forgive me."
Gabriel turns and leaves, large tears rolling down his cheeks. Crowley tries to stand but is paralysed. Tries to reach out to Gabriel, but cannot move his arms. Tries to call after Gabriel, but is mute. Crowley is terrified as he loses sight of Gabriel and is left on this perfect beach, with his own drink, and God sitting in the chair Gabriel vacated.
What? God?
Oh shit.
Chapter 10: Could this be the end?
Summary:
Crowley surrenders - there is hope!
Oh, and smut. Let there be smut!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Aziraphale holds Gabriel close. "Is there anything you need, my love?" Gabriel mumbles, "nnnmmm-mmmffnnnghh.."
"Really, dear," Aziraphale scolds playfully, "Talking with your mouth full?"
Gabriel pulls off Aziraphale's cock with a pop, laughs hard. "Sunshine, you're hilarious! I mean, I have a gorgeous angel lying naked in front of me, and I do have a scorching need for his beautifully sculpted cock to be deep inside my throat, but that's all."
They collapse into giggles and kisses, until Gabriel's mouth wanders down, kissing along Aziraphale's jaw, to his scrumptious neck, down over his chest, where Gabriel grips Aziraphale's left nipple between his teeth... "Ah Gabe, fuck yes... mmm ohhhh!" Gabriel continues his way down over Aziraphale's belly, kissing, sucking, leaving bruises along the way, until he reaches Aziraphale's cock again. Making that delicious length disappear into his throat has become a favourite hobby of Gabriel's, and Aziraphale loves it. Gabriel takes Aziraphale's entire length in one movement. "Oh my love," Aziraphale gasps, and Gabriel gets to work.
"Gabe... ooohhhfuck... your ...mmmmmyyyangel... fucking... divine mouth ...f-fffuuuck... hnngh oh shit Gabe, your m-mouth isssss exquisite, please don't stop... don't stop... please..."
Aziraphale moans, deep rumbling growls and grunts are pulled from within him.
Gabriel has Aziraphale's entire length inside him, chin against his balls. Gabriel's clever tongue makes its way out to lovingly lick and caress his angel's balls, then he swallows against Aziraphale's shaft... Lick, swallow, lick, swallow, oh god Aziraphale's never felt anything like it.
"Ohmyfuck... Gabe... I love you... Oh fuck fffffuuuuck mmmm... huh... Oh god Gabe, I'm gonna... I'm gonna cummmm..."
Holy shit, does he what! He grips the bedsheets with both fists, grunts, his hips lifting off the bed, then explodes, screaming "FFFUUUUUUUCK!"
Aziraphale's hot creamy cum surges repeatedly into Gabriel's throat, he swallows, again, and again, wow his Sunshine has a lot to give!
"Oh god, Gabe, you are fucking amazing!" Aziraphale is out of breath, completely sapped of strength, and sighs. Gabriel slowly lifts himself from Aziraphale's cock, sucking the last of his cum on the way. "Mmmm Az.... fuck it's so hot when you swear." They both dissolve into giggles and when Aziraphale offers to return the favour, Gabriel shakes his head softly, "It's ok Az, I, uh, I'm good." Aziraphale's puzzled look changes to surprise on seeing the mess Gabriel made of himself.
"You came just from expertly sucking my brains out through my cock?"
Gabriel laughed, "Yeah, Crowley was right about the noises you make - enough to rouse and satisfy the mightiest of beasts!"
They laugh together. It feels wonderful. Only Crowley is missing.
"Where is Crowley, anyway?" Aziraphale asks. "Beats me Az, but I have a feeling he'll be with us soon."
"Mother..." Crowley's voice is back, he can move again, but chooses not to.
"My dear one." He can feel the warmth in her voice, reaching down into him, soothing old hurts, exploring his deepest secrets.
"Wait, please, just give me a minute... please?" Crowley's tears run freely in her presence.
She stops, waits, she smiles and says, "Any other demon's first question to me would be to ask why they were cast out, what had they done to deserve being cut off from heaven, it's not fair, why, why why."
She pauses, "But you, my starmaker, the first question on the tip of your tongue is how to protect two of my unfallen children."
"Yes, mother, please. I've tried. I've failed. I've hurt them horribly. I didn't mean to. I never wanted to. I swear. I broke their hearts. I broke their bodies. It was me. I can't unsee it now. Mother, please, how can I keep them safe... from me?" Crowley's shame, fear, and desperation are suddenly lifted from him.
"My dearest one, you needn't carry responsibility for these things that were forced upon you any longer. You've acted admirably on my behalf until I was able to meet with you today. I'm here to carry the burden for you, as you have so wonderfully done for Aziraphale and Gabriel."
"...mother... please..."
"Yes, little one, I'll make it so you remember these things took place, but only as if the events were told to you, not shown, nor experienced by you."
Without saying a word, the memories flow out. ALL the memories. Everything gone. Siphoned off for assessment before being fed back to him in waves. Those memories that made him who he is, millennia of memories flowing back into him in mere seconds.
Minus the folder holding the worst (well, most of the worst) memories.
Crowley breathes.
"Mother, what happens now?"
"You live."
Crowley sighs in relief. "Thank you..."
"Fear not, dear one, you will be safe from now on. Aziraphale, too. And Gabriel. You have done remarkable things, and you will continue to do so. I will handle Michael, and those two Demons who hurt our sweet Gabriel, let me take care of this for you."
She smiles at Crowley. He feels loved. He suddenly blanches. "I uh, mother, I'm sorry if ... um if you saw ... um..."
"Saw the love between the three of you?" Oh he blushed... "Think nothing of it, dear one, your love is pure, genuine, uncharacteristically so for one who is fallen, but you were always the exception. Always exceptional." She smiled at him.
Crowley's heart was light, getting lighter, he felt joy, love from his mother, his vision whiting out to hear her voice fading, "You'll remember our discussion, my dear, and if you need to speak again, simply come to this beautiful beach, and pray."
Crowley stands in the doorway, taking a steadying gulp of whiskey from one glass, while balancing two others in his other hand, eyes hungrily taking in the sight before him: His two angels enwined on the patio sofa, kissing, writhing against each other, sighing, moaning, making his cock impossibly hard.
"Hey you two, room for one more?"
Two sets of beautiful eyes look up to him, two beautiful smiles beaming at him, two bursts of love directed at him (that's new, he muses, he hasn't felt it quite like that before), and they both motion for him to join them.
The love they make that afternoon seals it for the three of them. They are one, stronger together, blissfully happy, and untroubled.
Notes:
If you have taken this full journey, thank you - take care, and remember to always let the light in, no matter how small a difference you think it will make.
xxx
BeautifulNebula on Chapter 9 Sat 11 Oct 2025 04:26PM UTC
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MissMelony on Chapter 9 Sun 12 Oct 2025 02:07AM UTC
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