Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything happened too fast.

Jinx saw the moment Isha made the decision. She saw her girl's eyes shift from wide and fearful to determined and resigned. Tears fell from those owlish, amber eyes, and Jinx couldn't stand to watch her baby cry. Most of all, she couldn't let her get hurt. She saw the blue glow of the crystals in Isha's pockets, and suddenly she was eleven again, trying to help her family. She'd lived through this story time and time again, and she knew how it ended. She had to rewrite the ending this time. She couldn't lose Isha.

Her body ached, deep cuts and bruises covering every inch of her body, but she mustered the strength to climb to her feet and run. They say people run the fastest when their lives depend on it, but she knew that was wrong. Her life didn't depend on it, in fact she knew that this would be the end of her story, but the end of her story meant that Isha's story got to continue and that was good enough for her.

Jinx regretted the day she touched those cursed, blue crystals. All they had done was take away everything she loved. She wouldn't let them take Isha, too.

In the blink of an eye, the crystals became the least of Jinx's worries. Vander— well, the beast that had been Vander only moments before— roared viciously as sharp Noxian spears soared through the air, slicing through his thick skin. She couldn't focus on Vander right now, though. Her eyes widened with horror as the Noxian general, Ambessa Medarda— a name she only knew from eavesdropping on Sevika's concerned ramblings about the martial law that had been imposed on the Undercity— approached Isha with her sharp, bladed chains in hand.

Jinx screamed. The sound tore from her throat like a banshee warning of death, a death she prayed would be her own or someone, anyone, else. She reached for that painful warmth that had surged through her veins since she woke up on that table in the doctor's lab. Most days, she hated the feeling, the inescapable pain and itch beneath her skin, but today, she was grateful for her mutations. With what little energy she had left, she summoned the shimmer that pulsed through her, and she ran.

Everything after that was a blur. She remembered the soft grunt Isha made as she was pushed to the ground, away from the pointed spears and sharp blades. Then, there was the sound of her own, strangled yelp as a firm hand wrapped around her braids, pulling her back and shoving her to the ground.

It was a losing fight. She was unarmed. Her gun had been tossed away when Vander knocked her to the ground, and her only focus had been getting to Isha. A heavy boot landed on her hands, and she heard the nauseating crunch of her bones shattering beneath the weight. For a moment, she couldn't feel anything, and then the pain slammed into her, making her vision blur and tearing a cry from her throat.

"Look what we have here," Ambessa said, her voice cold and cruel.

Jinx tried to swallow her tears, not wanting to let the woman have the satisfaction of seeing her break, but the terror washed over her with a new intensity as she heard Isha's quiet cry, and she watched as the girl ran toward them.

"No!" Jinx shrieked as she writhed, trying to get out from Ambessa's grip, doing whatever she could to keep her focus off the little girl and to get away from so she could protect Isha.

She looked to the side, and her heart sank as she made eye contact with Vi. Her sister looked awful. Her face was pale, and blood was seeping from her abdomen, staining the ground beneath her with drops of red. She was certain the only reason her sister was still standing was because of Caitlyn's support.

Vi's eyes widened with horror as she watched the situation. Once upon a time, she had promised to protect Powder, but all she had done was fail over and over again. This time, there was no saving her. She knew that. Jinx's eyes were full of fear, but not for herself. Vi follows her sister's gaze toward Isha, and she knew what she had to do.

As much as it shattered her, she couldn't save Powder from this. They were vastly outnumbered, and she was on the road to bleeding out of she wasn't careful. She couldn't save her sister, and she knew Jinx would never forgive her if she let Isha die, so there was only one option left.

Jinx watched Vi's eyes fill with tears, and her own tears finally spilled as she caught the small nod Vi gave her. She watched as Vi tore away from Caitlyn's side, using all of her strength to run toward Isha, and pull her back, wrapping her in a warm embrace that Jinx wished she could feel one last time. She had taken what little time she had with her sister for granted. She supposed hindsight was always clearer, but it didn't stop the ache of regret for all the time they had spent fighting each other.

Instead of a loving, protective embrace, Jinx was cruelly yanked to her feet by her injured hand. Pain tore through her, making her dizzy, but she swallowed her scream. She wouldn't give Ambessa the satisfaction of seeing her weak.

Distantly, she heard Ambessa's mocking voice, but she processed none of what was said. She supposed that was probably for the best. The less she knew about what was going to happen the better, probably. As much as she pretended to be strong and fearless, she was far from it. She had always been weak and afraid of pain. Death wasn't what scared her, the torture before her heart finally gave out was what made her intestines twist with panic.

She didn't have time to process what was happening. One moment, she was being held up by Ambessa, and the next she felt the cold, sharp sting of metal slicing through her flesh as the chains and blades tore through her body. Just like with her hand, for a moment, there was no pain, just the heavy numbness of shock. Then, the pain set in and she felt everything.

The blades ripped through her stomach and back, tearing through her muscles. The worst of it was the moment the blade cut through her spinal cord. She didn't think the pain could possibly get any worse, but it did, and the it all stopped.

Jinx fell forward, her legs giving out as she lost all feeling and control of her lower body. In a way, it was a relief. The worst of the pain ended as her body was rendered unable to send anymore signals to her brain. She knew she was going to die, so as terrifying as it would otherwise be to know that she was paralyzed, she was grateful for the temporary relief in her last moments.

The chains were roughly yanked away from her body, sending her blood splattering across the ground. Her arms and chest still burned with pain and she could feel the blood dripping from nearly every inch of her body, but none of it mattered.

Her vision blurred in and out of focus, coming and going with her conciousness. She wasn't sure when the Noxians left, but they had. She supposed leaving her to slowly die was more enticing to their cruel nature than putting her out of her misery quickly.

A small, panicked cry and the feeling of little hands clutching tightly to her own hand forced Jinx back into some semblance of reality. Her vision cleared enough to make out Isha's form hovering over her, tears freely falling from her cheeks, and above her was Vi.

"Guess I got what I deserve, right, sis?" Jinx forced the words out, trying to sound humorous, but she only sounded pained. She choked on her words and coughed, the taste of iron filling her mouth as warm blood splattered across her lips.

Vi violently shook her head, denying Jinx's words, though she couldn't seem to find her own voice. Everything was falling apart again. Vander was gone again, and this time she was losing Powder for good. Her first instinct was to grab Jinx and search for anyone that had any semblance of medical knowledge, but she knew that would be nothing more than desperation. Jinx's body had been so mangled by the chains, not even shimmer or Piltover's best doctor could put her back together. Tears fell down Vi's face as she came to terms with the harsh reality. This was goodbye.

Jinx saw Isha and Vi's tears and her gut lurched. She didn't deserve their devastation. She had been nothing but a curse and burden to them, but now, they would finally be free of her.

"Don't cry," Jinx choked as she weakly reached up to stroke Isha's cheek.

Don't cry. You're perfect.

The familiar words echoed in her mind. She wondered if this was how Silco felt when he died. The pain of her wounds was nothing compared to the pain of witnessing Isha and Vi's grief.

"You— you're gonna be fine. Cait can get you into a Piltie hospital. We're gonna find a way to save you," Vi rambled, finally finding her voice. She knew her words were a lie, but she had to make herself believe it. It was easier to believe in a lie than accept the reality of her baby sister's death. She couldn't handle it. If Jinx was gone, she'd be alone. All of her family would be gone. Nobody else would ever fondly remember the smell of axle grease or whiskey— smells that she had learned to associate with both of her homes. Nobody would be there to sing along to their mother's lullaby. She would carry the memories of all the people she had loved alone with nobody to share that grief with. It was a thought that made Vi wish she could plunge one of the dozens of abandoned spears into her own chest to join Jinx in death.

She knew she couldn't, though. Jinx would never forgive her for leaving Isha alone. In losing one little sister, she had gained another, and now, it was her responsibility to make sure she didn't fail Aisha the way she had failed Jinx.

Jinx smiled sadly at Vi, not bothering to respond. They both knew the truth.

"Take care of her, okay?" Jinx whispered, her voice a strained rasp. It was getting harder and harder to form her fleeting thoughts into words. She knew the end was near, but she needed to know that Isha and Vi would be okay. She couldn't let go without knowing that, or at least getting some false reassurance.

"I promise," Vi answered, her tears dripping onto Jinx's face. Vi reached down and grabbed her sister's hand, and she gently lifted Jinx into her arms, ignoring the searing pain in her abdomen. She knew she had her own injuries to deal with, but with proper care, she would heal and survive without an issue. Jinx was fading fast, though, and Vi couldn't waste another second being apart from her sister.

Jinx shuddered, and she felt bile and blood rise up her throat and spill from her mouth. Everything hurt, and she was so unbearably cold. She couldn't remember feeling cold since long before her shimmer surgery, but now, she trembled as the heat faded from her body, and her lips turned blue.

Some people say death is cruel and violent, and others say it's peaceful, a little like falling asleep. Jinx thought it was a little bit of both. Initially, it was cruel and painful, and she longed for it to end, but in its last stages, death was sweet and gentle.

She couldn't feel much, but she knew Isha and Vi were still hanging onto her as if their hands alone would be enough to keep her soul from slipping away from her body. In the end, though, it was never going to be enough. Her eyes fell closed, and the darkness that she normally feared embraced her like a parent comforting their child.

Her breath stopped first. With a final wheezing gasp, her chest went still, and distantly she heard the sound of screaming, but it felt too far away for her to be concerned. Then, her heart stopped. The steady beat that had kept the rhythm of her life finally ended, and she slipped away into the emptiness, leaving Vi and Isha alone in the middle of the war torn commune. While they were left to drown in their grief, Jinx finally found the sweet gift of peace.

Chapter Text

Wide eyes peered up at the intricately painted wall. The faces of all her ghosts stared back, their sweet, innocent smiles morphing into something sinister as she approached. Jinx knew it wasn't real. It was just a memorial for the people lost throughout the years, but she carried the heavy guilt of knowing that she was the reason most of those people were on the wall.

Her brothers, Vander, Vi, dozens of Firelights she didn't recognize because they had been hidden behind masks when she put a bullet through their head, all of them stared down at her with gazes full of judgement.

One of the Firelights did catch her eye. She remembered hot, purple flames and the buzzing numbness in her head as she pulled the trigger on the girl that looked so much like, but wasn't, her sister. Had she pulled the trigger because she wasn't Vi or because of the resentment she had let fester for years? She would never really be sure. Truthfully, aside from the all consuming panic, she hadn't felt much of anything at all when she pulled the trigger. She rarely did anymore. Sometimes it was hard to remember that the body falling to the ground in front of her had held a soul and been a person full of life, love, and tragedy only seconds before.

She remembered the way Ekko had howled in grief and snarled as he recklessly lunged toward her, not caring whether or not he got hit by her bullets. All she had done was take, take, take from him, and yet he had been there to stop her and pull the bomb from her hands. He had carried her to the sanctuary he called home because her legs were too weak to hold herself upright. He had offered her food, warm clothes, even his own bed. She deserved none of it. He should've just let her pull the pin.

The longer she stood in front of the mural, the more she lost sense of what was real and what was a cruel trick of her mind. Voices seemed to surround her, taunting her from every angle she turned. Her breath quickened, catching in her chest as she caught glimpses of angry corpses reaching for her, hoping to drag her down with them.

Jinx fell to her knees as piercing pain shot through her head. For so long, her head had been quiet. Only the occasional ghost would whisper to her or taunt her, but now, the dam had shattered, and she was tormented with reminders of all her fears and mistakes.

She jinxes every job.

You're weak.

You couldn't save her.

You're a monster.

No more hiding.

They never loved you.

You're gonna die alone.

She fought the urge to scream as she covered her ears, her sharp nails digging into her scalp. She needed it to stop. She knew she was a curse. She knew that she ruined everything. She knew she was the reason that almost. everyone she loved was dead. She didn't need the reminders, and yet she couldn't escape.

Tears streamed down her face, dampening the dirt beneath her as they dripped. It felt like all the clawed, bony fingers of the people she had killed were reaching through the dirt to suffocate her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to get enough air into her lungs. Each futile breath seemed to leave her more starved of oxygen, and her head felt light as the world began to spin around her.

She wondered if ghosts had the power to kill someone. It certainly felt like they were about to kill her.

Blood slipped down her thighs, and she assumed it was a wound from the demons clawing their way to her, but as she stared down at her own blood-stained fingers, she realized that it was her own doing. It made sense, didn't it. She always had been the monster.

As kids, Vi would make up stories of grotesque monsters and pretend to chase her around. At the time, some of tv stories had spooked her. Little did she know, she would grow up to become the monster. She was the one people feared. Aside from the mural, she had seen the wary looks the Firelights had been giving her since the moment Ekko brought her through that massive pipe. She didn't belong there. She wasn't sure where she belonged, if anywhere, but she knew she couldn't stay with the Firelights. All she would do is get them hurt and ruin things for Ekko.

Her mind spun with panic, and she tried to climb to her feet, a decision she quickly regretted. Jinx's head spun, and she quickly crumbled to the ground, her head hitting hard against the wooden platform in front of the mural.

Her head throbbed with pain, but in a way, it was nice. The voices faded, replaced by static and dark spots filling her vision. Her chest was still pulled too tight, making it impossible to breathe, but there was a small sliver of relief.

Jinx shuddered and her vision went dark as she slipped into the comfort of unconsciousness.

Ekko heard her whimpers from across the sanctuary. She had only been there for a few hours and he was still working out the logistics of having her there as well as his sudden return from the dead. He had been talking to Scar about housing, though that wasn't much of a concern since he had already made up his mind that she would be staying with him, when he heard the soft cries.

He darted away from Scar without an explanation other than her name muttered under his breath. He silently cursed himself for leaving her alone. He should've known better than to leave her alone after everything.

His heart pounded in his chest as he dreaded the worst, expecting to find her charred corpse sprawled in the dirt. The memories of all the times she succeeded in pulling the pin played on loop in his mind. Over and over he watched her body be ripped to shreds from the power of the grenade. He couldn't watch her die again.

When he saw her sprawled in the dirt, her face pale and her eyes closed, his only source of relief was that she was free of any serious external injuries. He took note of the scratch marks thin lines of blood along her thighs, but he figured that for now, it was nothing to worry about. There were much bigger problems at hand.

Immediately, he dropped to the ground and pressed his fingers along her neck, desperately searching for a pulse.

Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead.

The moment the steady thump shifted beneath his fingers, he released a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding. She was unconscious, but she was alive. That was what mattered. She was still alive.

He scooped her into his arms, letting her head loll and rest against his chest as he carried her back to the treehouse he called home. Her breath was shallow, but it was slowly steadying as her body was finally allowed a moment of calm. How long had she been dealing with panic attacks that intense?

He should've told her about the mural. It didn't occur to him just how triggering a wall of all the people she had played a role in killing would be for her. He should've known the impact it would have on her mind.

When he finally stepped into the small space of his home, he gently laid her on the couch, allowing her the time to rest. There was a lot they needed to talk about when she woke up, but for now, she needed to rest. Thankfully, this time at least, they still had tomorrow to look forward to.

Ekko laced his fingers with Jinx's and watched the steadying rise and fall of her chest. There was no telling how much longer they would have moments like this with the war looming over their head, but he intended to make the most of his brief time with her, even if it meant just holding her hand as she slept off the trauma of a panic attack.