Chapter Text
POV: NEWT
“Newton, pass the pepper, please.”
Newt blinked and looked up at his mum, seated across the table from him. He’d completely zoned out during dinner, had been thinking about all the homework he still had left over to do. Newt shrugged at her, his little way to say “what?”, and she sighed and reached for the pepper herself.
Sorry, Newt signed. It was a simple sign to do - at home he used the British version, which was a closed fist, making circular motions around his heart three times. At school he used American, and his best friend Minho had managed to learn a few basics for Newt’s sake.
Newt knew “sorry” was the word he signed most. Probably closely followed by “no”, which was really just a shake of the head, “okay”, and shrugging. Everything else he could just write down, if whoever he was with could be bothered to wait.
He wasn’t mute or anything. Well, mostly. He could talk, in theory. His mouth worked fine. He had a tongue.
But words, in Newt’s experience, were dangerous. And when everyone started asking him how he was more often, after his parents divorce, and then after he broke his leg in a suicide attempt they had managed to cover up as an accident, Newt just decided to stop responding.
His mum didn’t really get it. She was constantly frustrated with him, saying “Just talk, Newton, it’s really not that hard. Tell me where the keys are, for fuck’s sake.”
That time, Newt had been trying to write that the car keys were on her bedside table.
She found them herself, before he finished writing.
His dad probably thought it was weird, but he loved Newt enough to not mention it. Newt only got to see him on Wednesdays and every other weekend, so he figured Dad just treasured the time they had together, and went along with it.
Sonya - Lizzy - got it. His sister got everything, she was just perfect that way.
She made more friends so Newt didn’t have to make any apart from Minho.
She got A-stars, so Newt could get away with his B- average and dodgy attendance record. She went to parties and always came home by curfew.
Newt only ever went to his job at the ice-cream place round the corner, and he somehow still managed to be home late every night.
Sonya was ambition, motivation, and perfection. Where Newt fell behind, she stepped up.
Sonya was smiles, flawless makeup, and flowers.
Sonya overcompensated.
She was Newt’s younger sister, but she always felt older.
Then there was Minho. Minho didn’t get it, but at least he tried. He always tried.
Anyway, they were all used to it by now. Newt rarely talked, and when he did, it was short-lived. That didn’t stop his parents hanging on his every word like he was a prophet or something.
“So, Sonya, when’s Harriet coming over today?”
Harriet was Sonya’s best friend. She was cool, and nice to Newt, and wore ratty converse with coloured beads, and had a weird obsession with whales. She was also a lesbian, but Sonya had neglected to mention that, because their mum wasn’t the best with that stuff.
Good thing she didn’t know about Newt, then. He knew the sign for “gay”, but if he ever told people, it seemed more like the kind of thing you should write down. Or even say, maybe. Maybe.
He could barely get words out normally. He didn’t think he’d ever get those words out.
“Errr, soon, I think.” Sonya checked her watch. “We’re working on this project for science class.”
“What’s it about?” Mum prodded.
Sonya had told them this yesterday, Newt wanted to say. It was about heart rate and the circulatory system. He kept his mouth shut.
“How exercise affects heart rate. It’s like, primary school stuff, really easy.” Sonya ran a hand through her blonde hair, the same shade as Newt’s.
“Well, that’s nice. Harriet’s a nice girl. Has she got herself a boyfriend yet?”
Newt shook his head. He felt anger tighten at his throat, but he shoved it down.
“No.” Sonya confirmed, shovelling pasta into her mouth. “She’s too cool for boys, mum.”
It was comforting, to see Sonya love Harriet so much, to keep her secret safe. It made Newt feel like one day he could tell Sonya his secret.
Well, he had two. The first was that he was gay.
The second was Thomas.