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Chapter Text

Chapter 1- Lockdown

Captain’s Log, Stardate 2182.5

Enterprise is en route to a Federation colony near the Klingon border, to deliver medical and tactical supplies and administer medical check-ups to personnel. The voyage there will take almost a week, including four days of travel through a nebula belt which will require special precautions.

x-x-x

“Run this by me again,” Marie says.

“It’s basically a lockdown,” he tells her. “The radiation in the Kelownis Belt can’t be fully blocked by our shields, and it isn’t practical to modify the whole ship. So we’ll be reinforcing the hull in designated areas and moving the whole crew there. The bridge, Engineering, Sickbay, the crew lounge, the cargo bay…”

“For the whole four days.”

“Yes.”

“Each person assigned that one area, and staying there.”

“So it would appear.”

“I’m guessing you want me in the Sickbay group.”

He kisses her forehead and pulls her close. “I want you with me, but you’re in a grey area. You have been billeted here as part of your medical leave, so you aren’t part of my crew and Doctor M’Benga is technically your commanding officer. And he still has you on treatments. He wants you in Sickbay.”

She hates how whiny it sounds, but she says it anyway. “Without you.”

“Without me. I’m sorry, But with that said, I will be trying to spread out the command crew a little bit—both to prevent overcrowding, and just in case something goes wrong. So you’ll have Una, if that helps.”

“Is that also at Doctor M’Benga’s request?”

“She is still donating plasma every three days. It seemed to make the most sense. And hey, you like Una…”

She sighs. “I like you better. When are we starting this grand experiment?”

“As soon as our hull modifications are ready.”

x-x-x

They’ve spread out the staff not just from Command, but from Engineering and Medical too. In the Sickbay group, aside from herself and Doctor M’Benga, they have Una, Spock, Kirk and Pelia.

Una puts her bag down on one of the biobeds, “We kept the complement lighter in here,” she says. “In case we actually have to use Sickbay.”

“Is that likely?” Spock asks. “It was my understanding that the shield and hull modifications would fully protect the crew.”

“It will protect them from the most serious dangers," M’Benga says. “But there may be mild effects in some situations. Lanthanites, for instance, are particularly sensitive to radiation. That's why we put Pelia with the group in here.”

“I will thank you not to broadcast my medical details to the entire crew,” Pelia huffs.

“We’re a team,” Una says firmly. “For the next four days, we are stuck in here together. If anyone has any problems going into this, we need to know so that we can help each other.”

Marie bites her lip, but doesn’t say anything. She has some problems. And like Pelia, she isn’t happy about having to ‘broadcast’ them to the group.

x-x-x

There is a slight vibration when the ship hits warp, and they are underway.

“We’ve set up work terminals in iso room 2,” Una tells them. “We’ll keep our normal duty shift schedules. When you’re not on shift, your time is yours, but keep your comms traffic to a minimum. We’re trying to reserve as much power as we can for the shields.”

It seems everyone has something to do other than her. But M’Benga reaches over and smoothly leads her by the arm to a biobed. “And business as usual for us as well,” he says. “It’s time for your treatment, Captain.”

She scans the hive of activity around her with dismay. “Out here?”

He’s so gentle. “I know this is hard for you. Not your ship, not your crew, and without your usual support right now.”

“Like Pelia said. I’m not super-happy about having this broadcast to the crew.”

On cue, Una comes over, takes in the medical gear and frowns. “Doctor M’Benga. Is there anything I need to know about Marie’s situation?”

“Business as usual, like you said. I’m continuing with her treatment. I’ll need to monitor her carefully during the infusions. Some of the side effects can mimic what we might get with radiation sickness, so I will need to watch her vitals to make sure we’re not really seeing that.”

Una sighs. “I had been led to believe that our shield and hull modifications were a more complete solution than they seem to be.”

“For most of the crew, they will be. But her body is going through a lot right now. The treatments are helping, but it’s not an instant fix.”

“And outside of the…the treatments. Does she have…”

“She’ll probably sleep a lot. But I know they are keeping her supplied with a steady stream of reports to file when she isn’t. Don’t fret, Una. I have everything under control with her.”

“You know, I’m sitting right here,” she grumbles.

“Let’s finish up our scan and check on your vitals,” M’Benga says. “Then we’ll put you in an iso room so you can finish your infusion and get some rest.”

x-x-x

She wakes up some time later to dimmed lights, and Pelia.

“Doctor M’Benga…”

“He is taking advantage of the downtime to do some inventory,” Pelia says. “He told me to watch these monitors here and let him know if any of the numbers turn red.”

“Ah.”

“They haven’t,” Pelia offers. “Do you want me to ask you how you’re feeling? I feel like that’s what one of those guys would do, but I don’t think you need that right now.”

She doesn’t. And realizing that is a bit of a revelation. She pushes up on her elbows, sits up a little. There is some nausea, and a bit of achiness in her extremities, but she can handle it.

Doctor M’Benga comes in. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

She swears she sees Pelia give her a wink. “Fine. Okay. I think.”

He scans her briefly. “All right, looks good. You’re free to go.”

“Go where?”

“Now, come on. We’re making the best of it. You aren’t the only one who’s stuck in here. I heard something about dinner and a movie? I think there’s even popcorn.”

She can’t quite manage the dinner, not right after a treatment. But the popcorn is a treat, and she supposes it’s nice to be around people after weeks with just Chris and doctors. They all get into their sleep clothes and stake out a biobed. She finds herself drifting off…

…and then she wakes up again, and she’s in hell. Or at least, it looks that way. She feels instinctively that it’s some kind of liminal space, like the inside of a wormhole, but hot and red and streaked with eruptions of flamy lava. The air is smoky when she breathes it in, and she shudders and coughs as she tries to acclimate. The fire stings her eyes as it erupts around her, and she feels a squeeze around her chest as she struggles for air. The last thing she’s aware of before she blacks out again is the very alien presence, its form rippling in the heat of the vortex as it watches her…and laughs.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2- Radiation Sickness

She comes to, and she’s back in Sickbay. She’s still sputtering for air, and the monitor on her biobed is beeping alarmingly. She feels a hand on her arm.

“Hey, Marie. Easy, now. Easy…”

But she can’t breathe. She still feels the smoke in her throat and her chest is quaking with the effort. “M’Benga…help…”

“I’m here,” he says. “I’m here, easy now, you had a dream.”

But it wasn’t. She was somewhere, and there was something, and she still feels its presence in her lungs, in her chest, in her air…

“Lights,” M’Benga says. She feels his strong, steadying hands wrapping a mask around her face, and she tries to breathe.

“Fire,” she gasps out.

“What’s that now?”

“Fire. Big…fire. Hurts…”

“Just breathe for a minute, will you? Just lie back, and breathe. Come on.”

He still has his hand on her arm, and she sees Una come up behind him. She’s still in sleep clothes. It’s clear she’s woken everyone up.

“Doctor M’Benga, report, please. Is she alright?”

He’s running the scanner up and down, and still trying to hold her still. “I’m not sure. I thought…she does have sleep disturbances, when she’s on the treatments. But this is something else. She’s having trouble regulating her breathing. Her oxygen saturation has tanked. I can’t figure out what’s gone wrong.”

“Fire,” she says again. Her eyes are watering and her chest still feels like it’s in a vice. “So…much…fire…”

Una frowns. “Fire? Doctor M’Benga…”

Now, he frowns too. “I assumed she was talking about whatever she saw in the dream. Now, I’m wondering…”

He adjusts some sensors on the biobed, scans the readings. “This is concerning. Commander, I am seeing readings here that would be consistent with smoke inhalation. Which doesn’t make sense! But…”

He goes over to his workstation, then comes back with a canister, which he attaches to the mask. “I’m adding a bronchodilator to the oxygen mix. That should help her breathing return to normal. What I am not understanding is how this happened.”

“I think it’s obvious, Doctor. You said she was more susceptible to radiation sickness.”

“Yes, but I said that about Pelia also, and she is not showing symptoms.”

“Maybe a side effect of her treatments?”

Her breathing has recovered enough for her to shake her head. “No. Fire. So…much…fire…”

Doctor M’Benga tightens the mask around her face. “Marie, please, just relax, and breathe. There is no fire here. You are safe.”

But she isn’t. How can she make them understand? She still can sense the alien presence, and she knows it will be back for her. It’s not just radiation sickness, or the treatment. It’s not.

“I have to report this to the captain,” Una is saying. “We may have to make other arrangements for her. We can’t put her in cryostasis, just until we’re out of the nebula?”

“Unfortunately, we cannot. Captain Batel has an allergy to cryoserum.”

“Maybe there’s a way to reinforce the shielding, just around Sickbay? I don’t know. We do have Pelia down here. Maybe she and Spock can work something out on the engineering side. Do what you can, Joseph. I’ll speak to Chris.”

But the fire was real. If it wasn’t, why would she have symptoms of smoke inhalation? And if the fire is real? She’s sure the alien presence is real too.

x-x-x

He keeps her on the mask for two more hours. She suspects he would have gone longer, but she’s desperate to talk, and he finally tells her she can have a break, as long as she stays calm and doesn’t over-exert herself. She almost immediately regrets her decision. Her throat feels raw and it hurts to talk. But she has to explain it to him.

“It’s not radiation sickness.”

“All right,” he says. “Tell me what you think it is.”

“I don’t know what it is. But I saw something, and I don’t think it was a dream. It was like being in a wormhole, but it wasn’t energy, it was fire. And there was an alien presence.”

“Our minds see all sorts of things, when we’re in a crisis.”

“But I didn’t just see it. I felt it. And it hurt me! You said…you said it looked like smoke inhalation.”

“Or a symptom of radiation sickness.”

“Joseph, there is something here. I feel it.”

“All right. Let’s put the mask back on, okay? I can see that you’re hurting.”

“But…”

“I’ll talk to Una. We don’t want to take too much power from the shields right now, but maybe we can run a sensor sweep.”

She can tell he doesn’t believe her. But what can she do? She puts the mask back on, and breathes.

x-x-x

M’Benga comes in later with a medical wand and a huge grin. “I have a surprise for you.”

He presses some buttons on the monitor, and there is Chris. She sees the concern in his face, but he looks delighted to see her.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Chris! How is it, living on the bridge?”

“We had a poker night. La’an won.”

“Of course she did.”

“I heard what happened. Marie, are you ok?”

“It’s better. But Chris, it wasn’t a dream. There’s something going on.”

“What, exactly?”

She blows out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know. But I felt something, Chris. Something bad. An alien presence. It’s here, in the nebula. And maybe on the ship.”

“I hear you. I’m ordering Engineering to set up proximity detectors in each of the vital areas. They should alert us to any…disruptions…on the ship.”

“What about a sensor sweep?”

He hesitates. “I wanted to. But…”

“You’re the captain!”

“It’s not just about you. Una is concerned that if it’s radiation sickness, there are other vulnerable crew. The power usage would be better spent on shoring up the shields around Sickbay. That would protect not just you, but Pelia, or any other crew, also.”

“If it’s radiation sickness.”

“Yes.”

“And if it isn’t, and I’m right that something is here?”

“Then the proximity detectors…”

“Chris. It’s not radiation sickness.”

“I love you. We’ll see.”

x-x-x

She’s afraid to sleep again. She senses the alien presence hovering around the edges of her awareness, and she doesn’t want to see it. But when she picks at the dinner, a second night in a row, Doctor M’Benga comes in with the hypospray.

“No sedation,” she says. “Not tonight.”

“You need rest, Marie.”

“No! If it comes back, and I’m stuck there because you sedated me…”

“There is nowhere to be stuck. You need rest.”

“Do not sedate me!”

He puts down the hypospray. “All right, all right. But eat something. Please?”

She forces down half the dinner. It sits in her gut like a rock, but she’s shaking. “Please do not sedate me. Please.”

“All right. But you are getting a roommate. I’m putting Pelia in the iso room with you tonight.”

“But…”

“Just in case it IS radiation sickness,” he says. “She is vulnerable too. We’re putting up some insulation. Just enough to cover the iso room. For both of you.”

“But…”

“Get some sleep, Marie. We’ll see how things look in the morning.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 3- Roommates

Pelia seems happy with the arrangement. “You know, it’s been 200 years since my last slumber party,” she tells her. She proffers an armful of teddy bears. “Want one?”

She pulls the blanket closer and tries to get comfortable, as much as one can on a biobed.

“It’s fine. You’re not mad at me ,” Pelia says.

She rolls back over, considers this. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

She considers the pile of teddy bears. One of them is dressed in a little space suit which matches the colour of the silvery insulation they’ve taped up around the walls of the iso room.

“And for what it’s worth, I believe you,” Pelia says. “I don’t think you have radiation sickness.”

“No?”

“If you did, there would be throw-up. And probably burns on your skin. And on mine, mind you. Lanthanites are terrible with radiation.”

“So, if it isn’t the radiation…”

“Now, I didn’t say that either. I said it wasn’t sickness.”

“But…”

“Now, none of that. I am not a doctor, you know. So I am not limited by their theories about your body. And the problem is, that is too much of a wild card right now. Radiation sickness. Experimental treatments. They don’t know which end is up.”

“But you do?”

“Not yet, but I will.” Pelia holds up her tricorder, and it’s clear it’s been modified. She can’t even recognize what half of the attachments do, but it’s doubled in size and is blinking in a dozen different places.

“Whose idea do you think it was to put me in here with you?” Pelia grins. “But one thing he is right about. You really should try to get some sleep. Yes, sleep! Go to the scary alien land! I need data about what happens when you do!”

She feels oddly comforted by this. Who would have thought, her and Pelia?

x-x-x

It’s more gradual this time. She’s only just drifted off when she becomes slowly aware of a shift in the temperature. She’s hot, she’s really hot, but it isn’t a fever. She’s sweating through her clothes and feels a burning thirst, but when she swallows, her mouth fills with ash.

She’s in the bed, she’s in the biobed, but there is fire all around her, and tiny alien faces hopping up and down the shiny extra-insulated walls. They look like a cross between a spider and an axolotl, with cute little faces (but fangs!) and tentacles where their feet should be. One of them has landed in the nest of teddy bears and is jumping up and down with a wild scream. Another is sticking out its tongue at Pelia and making faces.

Marie closes her eyes, then opens then again. They have tiny phasers now, and are shooting down the insulation. She is choking on the smoky air, and she’s hot, so, so hot. She reaches for the blanket, trying to get it off, it’s hot, it’s much too hot, when one of the baby-size phasers hits her on the forearm. Her body erupts in pain, and she screams.

“Lights!” She hears M’Benga, and he’s fast, he’s been waiting for her. “Easy, Marie, calm down. Pelia, what happened?”

“A lot! But stabilize her first, will you. Take a breath, Captain Batel. It’s gone now, whatever it was.”

“She’s sweated through her clothes.”

“Yes, but it’s not a fever. The temperature changed in here, but only around her biobed.”

“Interesting.” He has the breathing mask on her again, and as he’s adjusting it, he notices her arm. “What happened here?” He turns over her forearm, notes the purple-ish, bubbling skin. “Is this a radiation burn?”

“If a radiation burn can be caused by a forced energy discharge.”

He frowns. “A forced energy discharge? Something…something shot her?”

“I have readings. Want to see?”

She wants to jump up, wants to say I told you, but she still can’t talk, and if she’s honest, she needs the ventilator mask right now. Whatever those things are, the air they breathe is a fiery poison. She can’t go back there again. And she can’t let them come here.

x-x-x

When M’Benga comes back to check on her, he has Spock and Una with him. Una comes up beside her and puts a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry,” she says.

She takes a shaky breath. Her lungs still sound crackly and her head is pounding, but she isn’t hot anymore. “Ok. What did Pelia see?”

“A few things. There were some environmental changes. The temperature went up in here, but only around you. Whatever these aliens are, they seem to have anchored onto your biosignature somehow. Doctor M’Benga said you were in the middle of receiving a chimera infusion when we entered the nebula. It could be that’s why they stuck to you somehow.”

“And there are the energy discharges,” Spock adds. “Micro-fractures in the insulation around the iso room. They are consistent with the energy signature that caused the injury to your arm.”

Now that she’s feeling better, the fog is lifting, and she suddenly remembers. “I saw it! They had tiny little phaser-like weapons, and they were shooting down the insulation.”

“That’s good,” Una says. “It means they don’t like it, and it blocks them, a little.”

“Pelia also detected a phase variance. It was not anchored to you, specifically, but there were traces in the scans of the energy discharge,” Spock says. “We are modifying all of the proximity detectors throughout the ship to detect it. It may allow us to see where the creatures are.”

“In the meantime, we need to work out a way to protect you,” M’Benga says. “They seem to have a stronger hold on you when you sleep. We can’t entirely avoid that.”

He injects her with a hypospray. “I’m giving you a low-level stimulant,” he says. “Against my better judgement, as I know what your body has been through and I know it’s probably hungry for rest. But we need some time to work this out a little bit. Hang in there, okay?”

What choice does she have? It is what it is. She’s felt better, but she’s felt worse. And she doesn’t want to go back to the fire again. Anything would be better than going back there.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4- Heart to Heart

Within the hour, she’s a jittery mess. It’s like Pelia said, she’s been a wild card. The Gorn infection, the Illyrian blood, the chimera blossom, and now this. Her body needs a respite, for healing, for rest. But she can’t do it. She feels like she’s jumping out of her skin. She is too confined in here. She needs food, she needs rest, she needs exercise, she needs everything all at once. But there’s nowhere to go. Sleeping is harmful, but so is not sleeping.

The one who comes to bring her out of it is Una. “Hey,” she says. She pulls up a stool beside her, and offers her a plate. “Cookie? They’re from Chris.”

She wants the cookie, but doesn’t want the cookie. Her body is scrambling from all the contradictions.

“I figure you are probably going stir-crazy right now.”

“Something like that.”

“I feel like this is my fault. If I had authorized the sensor sweep…”

“You still wouldn’t have found it. You didn’t know about the phase variance.”

“But Pelia did.”

“She had a hunch. And a thousand years more experience.”

“True. But I feel I owe you an explanation. I’m a good commander. A very good one. You’ve seen my record.”

“Yes.”

“But there’s a reason I’m not a captain yet. And this is part of it. Growing up like I did, I learned to mask really, really well. To take the path of least resistance. Even if that meant hiding what I really thought, what I really felt. Ironically, it prepared even better for Starfleet. I remember all the regulations. I follow them perfectly. I do what all of my commanding officers want.”

“Yes. I can see how that would happen.”

“So when it comes to a situation like this one, a logical explanation versus the gut feeling of someone?” She sighs. “I don’t even trust my own gut feelings. How can I trust someone elses?”

“Pelia trusted it.”

“Like you said. She’s had more practice. And one day, I’ll have the practice too. And then I’ll be ready to be a captain. Forgive me?”

“Una, of course. You saved my life. I’ll never forget that.”

“Thank you. Now, be honest. How crap do you feel?”

“I want to leave here, but I don’t. I want to sleep but I also want to be awake. I want the cookie.”

“But you don’t want the cookie?”

“Right. I’m just full of…uncomfortable. There’s not another way to describe it.”

“Well, I have some good news. M’Benga has an idea. He thinks we can modify the sonic shower to emit ionized phased particles which are on an opposite frequency to the ones we detected on you. It should have a similar effect on your body as the extra layer of insulation had on the iso room. It will repel the creatures. We hope.”

“Is it safe, to do that?”

“Safer than keeping you awake for two days straight. We won’t pass through the radiation belt for another 52 hours.”

“It’s not exactly a long-term solution, Una. We have to find them somehow and get them off the ship at some point.”

“We do. But in the meanwhile, you can sleep. Do me a favour, though, and eat the cookie first, ok? If you don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it from Chris.”

x-x-x

She’s still full of nervous energy. She leaves the iso room and goes out into Sickbay proper. It’s a hive of activity. Kirk has a console open, and when he sees her, he looks up at her with a grin.

“I have to thank you for this,” he says. “We’re all been getting a bit of cabin fever being cooped up in here. It’s good to have a project.”

“Yeah. I’m happy to help.”

“I mean, we’re sorry that you’re…you know. But it’s good to be doing some actual work down here. Pelia has deputized everyone except for you and M’Benga as assistant engineers.”

Spock pops out from underneath the console. “I will put it in testing mode. We should be ready soon.”

“How about the proximity sensors?” she asks.

“Pelia and Commander Chin-Riley are working on those,” Spock says. “And Captain, if you do have further contact with the alien presence…perhaps you would consider a mind meld. I may be able to communicate with them.”

He makes a final adjustment on his console. “There. When you are ready, you may use the sonic shower and then prepare for sleep.”

There is something about the brisk bluntness of a Vulcan. Perhaps this is why she survived under the command of Admiral Pasalk for so long. She uses the sonic shower, and she prepares for sleep. As he requested.

x-x-x

She sees them, almost as soon as she enters the dream state. She sees them, but she senses there is a barrier around them which keeps them just out of reach. It’s like water repelling oil. She sees it’s there, the flames, the ash, the entire alien habitat. And she senses them trying to get close, and she hears their squeals of frustration when they can’t do it. But they don’t breach the bubble, and the only effect she feels, other than annoyance, is a slight discomfort from the temperature. The fire doesn’t touch her, but it’s close, and she feels it.

She senses, after a time, another presence in the liminal space. She had given consent for Spock to attempt a mind meld if her vital signs showed any distress. She’s guessing Doctor M’Benga picked up on the rise in her temperature. He materializes beside her and moves to block her body from the flames. She is grateful for the drop in the heat. He gives her a small nod of greeting, then closes his eyes and reaches toward the inferno. She senses the aliens rile at his presence, but after a moment, even they feel his calm. He stands for a moment and communes with them. Then he turns, pats her on the arm and exits the link.

She wakes up in Sickbay feeling refreshed, for the first time in days.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5- Exit Plan

“They what?”

Captain Pike is on the comm link, and they’ve clearly interrupted another poker game.

“They’ve asked us to help them,” Spock is saying. He sees her, and nods. “You are awake. That is good. I will not need to explain again.”

“Explain what?”

“Spock was just telling me that he made contact with the aliens during a mind meld with you—which I did not know was happening, by the way—and they asked for help?”

“Apparently, they were passing through the nebula as we were, and they miscalculated their shield modifications. They became stuck. They wish to exit.”

“And they think we can help them do this?”

“They do. They exist in a parallel plane which is slightly out of phase with ours. They believe that if we can assist them in exiting the nebula, we can modify our transporters to return them to their proper space-time home.”

“And how will we do this?”

“Pelia is working on that. She thinks they have to materialize on our plane first, and in Sickbay, since they have somehow attached themselves to the biosignature of Captain Batel. We can modify the phased ion stream we programmed into the sonic shower to attract, rather than repel. Once they are here, we can beam them out again, at the coordinates, and with the phase signature modifications that they provide.”

“Dare I ask, how many aliens might we be transporting?”

“Their crew complement was 24. Assuming they all survive the journey here.”

“Is there any danger to Captain Batel?”

“Unlikely. But Doctor M’Benga thinks we should wait until we are about to clear the nebula. He does not want to prolong Captain Batel’s contact with them. Captain, he did say as well that he will have to delay her treatment until this is resolved. He was giving her chimera infusions every second day. This will cause her to miss a dose. That may produce discomfort for her. And it may prolong her recovery time.”

“But is there an alternative? If these are sentient beings who have asked for our help, we can’t just leave them there.”

“I concur.” He turns to her. “Captain, they had a message for you also. They wish to apologize for the phaser burn to your arm. It was accidental. They were aiming for the insulation. It was interfering in their attempts to communicate with you.”

“Thank you,” she says.

“They meant you no harm. They were only trying to make contact with you. Now that they have done so, they will leave you alone. You will not be bothered in your sleep again.”

x-x-x

She isn’t happy about delaying the treatment, but she senses they have all been briefed about this and are trying to distract her. Una plies her with food—first, the cookie, then a smoothie, then some popcorn leftover from the movie night. Kirk asks her to pass him tools while he adjusts the solar shower. Even Pelia offers her a data PADD and a request to look at an ‘interesting engineering problem.’

The truth is, she just wants to hit something. She’s over-tired, but she’s also wired up, and has too much energy floating around in her. Sickbay is not a big enough place to burn it off. When Una asks her, for the millionth time, if she wants anything to eat, she finally snaps.

“Look, Una, it’s nothing personal. But if I don’t get a pair of boxing gloves, I’m going to lose my mind.”

Una blinks. “That’s all it is?”

How can she explain it? It’s stiflingly claustrophobic in here, but it’s more than that. It’s her body also. It’s the alien energies coursing through her blood, but still not fully a part of her. M’Benga is hopeful that this feeling will fade as she completes more treatments, that the chimera infusion will finally lock all the puzzle pieces together in a way that makes sense. In the meanwhile, she struggles with that here-but-not-here, right-but-not-right restlessness. And knowing that she could have had relief but is delaying it, it’s just magnifying her symptoms.

“All right,” Una says, putting down her tools. “Mental health break. For everyone. Kirk? Pelia? Spock? It’s workout time.”

Una proves to be a surprisingly capable instructor. She begins with a yoga warm-up, then guides them through a calisthenics routine. Pelia is the first to drop out, then Kirk. Una has hardly broken a sweat, and Marie still feels like she could go a hundred times harder.

Spock is more than capable, but he gets an alert on his PADD and stops. “I could continue,” he says. “But have chosen not to allocate further time.”

“No problem,” Una says. “Marie, stay with me. I’ve got you.”

But there is too much pent up. She’s like a top that’s been spun, and now has a hand on it—all of this energy, and nowhere for it to go…

Una puts up her arms. “Kickboxing. Come on…”

Her body is coiled and ready to spring. “No. Not enough.”

“Hit me then. I’m Illyrian, I can take it.”

She lunges. Una ducks, swivels, and lands a kick in her side. The pain excites her. She grunts, reaches with a jab. Una ducks again, and swings back around. “Try harder.”

She uppercuts. Una blocks her at the wrist and spins her around, then flips her. She lands on her back, hyperventilating, limbs shaking, body completely overwrought. She hears M’Benga come running, a scanner in hand.

“Okay,” Una says after a moment. “I’m authorizing use of the replicator. Get her a punching bag, Joseph. She needs to blow off some steam.”

Chapter Text

Epilogue- Recovery

She comes out of the iso room two hours later, red-faced, drenched in sweat, and absolutely starving. She wants food. She wants sex, but that’s clearly not going to happen down here. She’s finally spent, but she still feels wound up. Fortunately, this is not M’Benga’s first rodeo with her, and with the mood swings that come with the treatments.

“Scale of 1 to 10,” he says when he sees her. “How uncomfortable are you?”

“Define uncomfortable.”

He puts a plate of food in front of her without being asked. “You know what I mean. You should have had another infusion this morning. You didn’t. And now you’ve spent the better part of the day in physical combat, first with Una, then with yourself.”

The food is going in as fast as she can manage it. She doesn’t want to talk.

“And yet,” he says. He slides the nearly empty plate out of her way and replaces it with a smoothie. “You still look like you’re going to jump out of your skin.”

“Yeah. So, ETA? On the next treatment?”

“We should clear the nebula sometime tomorrow afternoon. When we are assured we have the alien hitchhikers safely off the ship, we can resume the chimera infusions.

She’s still hungry, but she knows it’s not for food. It’s like her body is full of cracks, and the infusions are the plaster that’s going to smooth them out. She can almost feel the hum in her blood when it hits. This is withdrawal. And that explains why she’s so jumpy.

“I can sedate you if you’d like,” he offers.

It may come to that. But sedation makes her jumpy in a different way. There is too much going on in her body. She doesn’t want to add more to the cocktail unless she has to.

“Or perhaps a hypnosis session?”

No. Spock has spent enough time in her head for now.

“So, what can we do for you, Marie?”

But there’s nothing. She miserably dresses in her sleep clothes and tries to settle in for the Movie Night. But she can’t sit still, and all the fidgeting is making them nervous.

“Fine, sedate me,” she says.

“Now, none of that,” Pelia says. “Not yet, anyway. Come with me, Captain. It’s time for us to excuse ourselves.”

She narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Why?”

“Let’s just say I know some meditation techniques that even the Vulcans haven’t learned.”

x-x-x

It’s more of a massage technique than a meditation one. Like a Vulcan nerve pinch, but in other areas.

“I will ask for consent,” Pelia begins.

“Yes. Anything.”

“That’s what I thought you’d say. But still. It’s better not to look. Lie down. Close your eyes. And don’t worry about repressing your jumpiness for me! Bring it all out, so I can see what we’re dealing with here.”

She feels it all over her body. A pinch, then a relaxing. Then another pinch. Pelia is somehow following the energy currents as they pop.

“I’m going to ask for consent one more time,” Pelia says after a few minutes. “I’ll be discreet. But this won’t fix unless I do some things.”

She’s melting into the table. It’s blissful. She doesn’t care. “Anything,” she tells Pelia. “Anything you want.”

“It’s what you need,” Pelia says. Then she does three quick pinches, across her stomach. Three pinches in opposite corners, forming the points of a triangle. She feels a warmth spread across her lower body. Her limbs feel numb. The heat is filling the spaces where something else might have gone, and she’s so, so sleepy. She feels like she’s just spent three hours going hard in the gym and then another three going hard in a very different way.

She doesn’t know how Pelia did this without even touching her there, but she needs the sleep so badly that she doesn’t question it. The last thing she’s aware before she fades out is Pelia, wrapping the blanket around her and turning out the light.

x-x-x

In the morning, they bring over the aliens. She sleeps through it, sleeps through Kirk and Spock flooding the other iso room with phased ions, sleeps through, the safe arrival of the 24 axolotl-esque aliens, sleeps through their relatively peaceful containment in the iso room beside hers. She sleeps, but she dreams. Their home planet is a happy one, full of peaceful brooks and happy little forests. There is no fire there. The last thing she sees, before she wakes up, is them, safe in their forest village, waving goodbye to her.

She’s restless when she wakes up again, but Doctor M’Benga tells her they have safely cleared the nebula. The lockdown is over, and they have been sprung. Except for her, of course. She has to have her treatment.

-end-