Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kimi was, decidedly, fucked.

He was, first of all, drunk out of his mind, and second of all, on his best friends lap. Neither being a good situation for a man who had come to the recent realization of being a major fag. And the way Ollie had his arms wrapped around Kimi’s waist certainly was not helping.

The scent of his friend was overwhelming, although it probably didn’t help that his face was buried in the crook of his neck. He could feel himself getting wetter by the moment, and fuck he was praying that Ollie could not feel it in the slightest. He was silently hoping for his hands to drop lower, to explore a part of him that their… ‘friendship’, had not even threatened to push.

Kimi’s breath hitched as the brunette let a hand drop to his thigh, gently caressing his cold skin. He pulled his head out of the oh-so comfortable space, and stared into Ollie’s eyes.

“So I told the guy, you either fuck off or give me a fiver, and you know what he does?” If you asked the curly haired boy what the hell his boyfriend was talking about, he wouldn’t know where to begin. But the way his lips moved, the way his adam’s apple bobbed each time he swallowed, it made Kimi give in to the thoughts he was trying so desperately to bury.

He leaned in, and without much of a second thought, placed his lips to the older man’s. He wasn’t sure what he could have possibly been expecting, but in a moments notice a hand was in his hair and fingers were wrapped around his neck. He whined at the contact, nipping at Ollie’s lips, begging for an intrusion, a sound, anything.

He pulled back, staring at the man, hoping he hadn’t overstepped. And his drunken haze cleared just enough for him to be terrified at what had just happened. Because the man in front of him, the man with flushed lips who was prodding Kimi’s ass in a manner that he was begging himself to ignore, wasn’t Ollie at all.

Before he could push himself from the man’s lap, Charles was pulling him back in. His brain couldn’t figure out whether to give into the attention or beg and scream, so he froze. He let Charles move him however he so desired, and just sat. Silent.

He wasn’t quite sure when Charles had picked him up. Or when they had gone to his hotel room. But he did know that his ass was sore, his wrists were red, and good god did his head hurt.

He distantly heard the hotel shower turn on, and his brain caught up to the situation at hand. He needed to get out, and he needed to do it now. He forced himself up, noting his distinct lack of clothing. He spotted his hoodie across the room, forcing himself out of the bed and grabbing it, alongside his boxers. 

If he remembered correctly, all the teams were booked in the same hotel, most of them on the same floor. And thank any of the gods above for the fact that he had asked Ollie for his room number. He pushed himself forward, refusing to stay in this room any longer, but as he shut the door behind him, he was positive that the shower had turned off. 

Kimi turned around, noting the room number, 525. He looked to his left, the next room being 523. Before he could make sense of what he was doing, he was sprinting, only slowing down once he had passed room 509. The Italian’s legs were exhausted, and his body was screaming, but he needed familiarity. He need Ollie.

As he knocked on room 505, he begged his body and mind to cooperate, cursing himself at the sting in his eyes. The tears began to pour as the door slowly clicked open, and he couldn’t help but whimper.

He looked up from his feet, wiping at his tears with far more force than was reasonable, and he saw Ollie. Ollie who was worried, who looked… sad. It made Kimi cry just a bit harder.

“Kimi, Kimi,” Ollie wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him to his chest, “What’s wrong sweetheart? What happened? Are you alright?”

Kimi just buried himself in his friend’s chest, silently thanking Ollie as he closed the door behind them. He allowed the brunette to guide them toward the bed in the center of the room, sitting on the edge with as much calm as he could muster. He let his fingers grip the mattress through the sheets, anxiety thrumming from his body into the fabric. He focused on Ollie in his peripheral, noting the worry that coated his features.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me, Andrea.”

And fuck, Kimi hated how deeply he loved how his first name rolled off his friend’s tongue. He wanted nothing more than to lay against his chest, fall into a sense of serenity and safety. But the idea of laying on his back, allowing any part of him to be exposed in the quiet hotel room, it terrified him to his core.

He took a deep breath, adjusting himself to face Ollie head on, “I can’t…” He shook his head, letting his eyes drop to his fidgeting hands, “If I told you, you’d look at me… weird.”

Kimi hadn’t meant to be that blunt, but his words only processed as he heard the hurt sound that left the elder’s mouth. Looking into Ollie’s brown eyes, he felt a pain worse than processing what had happened the night prior.

“I trust you, Ollie,” he took the man’s hands in his own, refusing to break eye contact regardless of how bad he wanted to, “I just…”

Ollie sat up from where he was laying, “You don’t have to tell me anything, Andrea. But is there anything I can do for you?”

Kimi let his eyes drop to where their hands were intertwined, “Can you promise that when I tell you, you won’t,” the last word caught in his throat, forcing him to pause and look back up. His voice dropped in volume, the noise just barely above a whisper, “Promise not to leave me?”

He had been hoping for a nod, maybe a pinky swear, some stupid proclamation of Kimi being stuck with the older man. Instead, he was enveloped in warmth, arms thrown around his shoulders and pulled into a tight hug.

“I could never leave you, Andrea. And I swear, you do not need to tell me anything, but should you want to, I will sit and listen.”

Crying was not something Kimi ever enjoyed doing, but here, in his long-term crush’s arms, he let the tears fall. He let a sob force itself from his throat, and he gave in to every ounce of pain that wracked his body. He didn’t plan on telling Ollie yet, but the words began to fall from his mouth, like water from a broken dam.

“I was at the bar, and I thought you were there, and I was drunk, and I thought it was you, and I was sitting on someones lap, and I thought it was you, and I went in for a kiss, and I thought it was you, and I pulled back but it wasn’t you, and I couldn’t push myself away from him, and then I woke up and I was scared, and I hurt all over, and it hurts, and I’m so scared Ollie, I’m so scared of him, please don’t let him come back, please don’t let him do that again Ollie, please,” the words fell from his mouth, no thoughts available to stop them. The words fell as Ollie tightened his grip, as his heart rate increased, and as he gasped. 

As the words stopped, a hand began to card through his curls, gentle and grounding, “I’m not going anywhere baby, I’m not going anywhere. Can you tell me who did this?”

Kimi froze, his hands clenching Ollie’s shirt like his life depended on it. It took a few moments, but he was able to find words again, “Could I write it down?”

 Ollie, bless his heart, reached up the bed, grabbing his phone. When he handed it to Kimi, it was unlocked, and opened to a blank note. The younger’s hands shook as he pressed each of the 7 letters, forcing himself to hand the phone back to Ollie.

The taller man stared at his phone for several moments, moments that felt like hours, the silence filling the room with more noise than the worst of their races. He brought his eyes up, and stared into Kimi’s. His brown eyes stared past blue, and straight into his soul. Despite how badly he begged himself to look down, he was enchanted by the attention - there was no looming need for sex, for apologies, for sorrow, it was just the two of them.

Until Ollie stood, throwing his phone back on the bed. He slid on his sneakers, and moved toward the door. Kimi stood up, following him, curiosity coursing through him.

The elder placed his hand on the doorknob, before turning his head to stare at Kimi, “Room number?”

“What? Oh, uh, mine is-”

“No. His.”

“Ollie, what? Why- why would you need it?”

He took a deep breath, taking his hand off the door knob and placing both on Kimi’s shoulders, “Because I am going to kill him for ever fucking touching you to begin with.”

Kimi’s voice caught in his throat. His mind was torn: the man he loved was offering a way for him to stay safe from a monster for… forever. But Kimi didn’t think he could handle the idea of loving someone who has killed another. He brought his hands up, resting them on Ollie’s forearms, meeting his eyes.

“Please don’t,” and the sound was almost a whisper. Almost an admission of his guilt, guilt of something that was never his fault to begin with. “Could we just…” Kimi swallowed the lump in his throat, stepping closer to Ollie, wrapping his arms around his chest, “Can you just lay with me?”

He hated being vulnerable, more than anything, more than ever before. But he needed this. He needed Ollie. He needed something real, something he wanted, something he had a choice in.

Brown eyes glanced from blue, to the door, and back again, “Of course I can do that, Kimi.”

Kimi wasn’t protecting Charles, he just… wasn’t ready for the confrontation. For the Drama. For the press that would come out in relation to it. He didn’t care if half the internet thought that all the drivers were gay already, he couldn’t let them be proven right. At least, not before he got to love Ollie for a little while longer.

Chapter Text

Ollie hadn’t been meaning to doze off, Kimi knew that. But he felt much safer with him asleep than he would otherwise. He swore it had nothing to do with him, but he himself was barely convinced by that. He nuzzled into the older man’s chest the rose and fell gently, ignoring the passing thoughts.

Until there was a knock on the hotel room door.

“Oliver? Are you in there?” The Monegasque spoke from the other side of the door, and Kimi froze. His hands gripped Ollie’s shirt and curled into fists, incidentally causing him to wake up.

Ollie opened his eyes, noises of confusion escaping his mouth as he fully woke up. By the time the voice on the other side of the door registered, Kimi was shaking in his arms, tears threatening to fall once more. 

“Hey, hey, I’m here Andrea. I’m going to go… talk to him. I promise I will be right back,” his voice was soft, soothing to the Italian’s ears, and his shaking began to lessen. 

As Ollie stood up, Kimi let out a whimper, that he hoped the brunette didn’t hear. The door opened with a muted creak, and Kimi curled further into himself, hoping he could disappear.

“Hey, Charles. What’s up?” Ollie’s voice was calm, casual, but Kimi could see the stress and tension that traced his neck and back.

“Hey, good to see you. Just been wondering if you’ve seen Kimi around? I need to talk to,” Charles trailed off for a moment, clearing his throat, “I need to talk to him.”

“No, I haven’t seen him yet today. Need me to tell him anything if I see him?” 

“No, no, just send him my way if you could. Thanks-”

Kimi wasn’t sure when the first tear slipped, or when he forgot how to breathe, but the sob that escaped him was blatantly audible to both men.

“Who’s in there?” The Monegasque tried to look into the room, as Ollie looked back at the Italian curled in on himself.

“No one,” Ollie’s voice was firm, shutting the door on the too-curious man.

The british man didn’t notice the way that the door didn’t click shut, but Kimi did. As Ollie walked over to him, not sparing a glance backward, Kimi saw Charles’ curious eyes, scanning the room. The way they widened and then zoned in on the youngest in the room made him freeze, his breath coming in short gasps.

Ollie’s weight made the bed dip ever so slightly, his hands planting themselves on Kimi’s waist and his hair.

“I’m here Kimi, I’m here,” His voice was gentle, concern and care lacing his entire being.

Kimi appreciated his assurances, but all he could do was stare at Charles, who stood silent in the corner, staring. He had shut the door, ensuring both the internal and external locks were in use. The Italian wasn’t sure what he had planned, but the words that escaped his mouth made Kimi want to disappear from the room.

“You care about that tranny like she matters.”

The words were thick with venom, laced with faux care. Kimi felt Ollie’s response immediately - the hand on his waist gripped him tighter, the hand in his hair pressing deeper into his scalp.

Ollie sighed deeply, forcing himself up and off of the bed. It felt like years, as he moved towards Charles, pinning him in the corner of the room with his body.

“Charles,” Ollie pronounced the name with a sharp ‘Ch’, “Get the fuck out of this hotel room. Leave Kimi alone, respect him, or so help me god I will walk you into the pits of hell myself.”

“Oh come on-”

Ollie pushed his forearm into Charles’ throat, leaving him gasping for air, “You will leave, and you will respect him. And if you do neither of those things, I will hurt you and make the FIA watch.”

Kimi’s breath was evening out, but seeing Ollie protect him so fiercely, even after hearing information he would’ve rather hid far away, it made him cry. He felt loved, safe, cared for.

Charles’ eyes burned into Ollie’s, a silent battle between the two. The former shook his head, pushing away the younger man.

“I’ll leave you two to it, but don’t come crying to me when you realise how boring she is in bed.”

The words hung heavy in the air, before Ollie was shocking him out of the door. The slam that followed was definitely louder than he had intended it to be, but the way his eyes were scanning over Kimi’s body the moment they were alone, it was everything to him.

It took a few moments before Ollie moved back toward the bed, sitting on the edge with a hand on Kimi’s knee.

“Are you doing alright?”

Kimi looked from the older man’s hand, to his eyes, to the wall, and back again, “Yeah, I’m… alright. Just didn’t expect all of-” His words caught in his throat, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, “Didn’t expect him to do that.”

Ollie shifted, turning to face Kimi completely. His hands moved to engulf the youngers face, making sure he couldn’t ignore the words that were about to fall from his lips.

“I still think you’re handsome, Kimi. You are gorgeous, and kind, and who you are on a ‘biological’ level means as much to me as you want it to, okay?”

Kimi’s eyes went wide, and he was sure with how fast his heart was beating, Ollie could feel it.

Every word Kimi wanted to say got caught in his throat, a meek “what?” being the only thing to escape his mouth. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes, the events of the hour being too much for him to hold in for any longer.

Ollie chuckled, wrapping his arms around the younger, “You are a good person, Kimi. And this information changes nothing between us. I will be here to listen - but I’ll never make you talk to me, about anything.” 

When Ollie pulls back, his hand finds it’s way to Kimi’s cheek, wiping a stray tear away. All the Italian could do was nod, before rubbing the tears from his eyes with more forced than necessary.

“Would you like to-”

“I’m sorry, I can-”

The two spoke in sync, falling into giggles as they interrupted one another. Not wanting to cut the other off again, Kimi motioned for Ollie to speak.

“Would you want to go out to eat?”

Kimi’s early apology, threatening to leave his mouth again, died on his tongue. He stared into warm-brown eyes, feeling his throat go dry, and all he could do was nod. He so desperately wanted to lean in and kiss the man that sat in front of him, but as soon as the idea entered his mind, thoughts of the night prior flooded his vision.

He felt bile begin to rise in his throat, standing abruptly, “I’ll be right back.” Before Ollie could respond, he was practically inside the bathroom.

Kimi leaned over the toilet, with his head in his hands. He knew he was pulling at his hair with more forced than was reasonable, but he frankly couldn’t be bothered to worry about it - he needed the feeling to ground him.

Tears slipped from his eyes and into the toilet, vomit threatening to follow, the feeling of both causing Ollie’s presence to not even cross his mind. It wasn’t until a hand was rubbing circles into his back, and another gently prying his fingers from where they gripped chunks of his hair, that he was aware the man had followed him in. 

“It’s okay, Kimi. You’re okay, we’re okay,” the soft reassurances allowed Kimi’s muscles to relax the slightest degree, his body falling easily into Ollie’s chest. “Do you want to just order room service then?”

All the young man could do was stare upwards at the man that held him, soaking in the subconscious love that emanated off his body. He wished he could have stopped the sob that wracked through him, wished he could wake up from the nightmare his life had spun into, but the arms that tightened around him reminded him that this was all too real.

Ollie placed a gentle kiss to Kimi’s scalp, gently ‘shush’ing him, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Kimi nodded, letting Ollie set him against the bathtub, drawing his legs in to make himself smaller.

He felt so warm, so tired, so… over it. He just wanted to sleep, for a very long time. But for now, all he could get was a small nap, that he knew would leave his neck and back aching. Any other time, he would have been more concerned and conscious about the hushed phone call that Ollie was taking in the other room, but sleep was tugging him into the darkness of his own eyelids, and who was he to say no to such a kind offer?

Chapter Text

“-just think that… I don’t know- we need to do something. It’s- what’s happened is insane and I need to just… I need to punch him. I need to do more than punch him, but-”

Ollie sighed, a hand carding through Kimi’s hair. He wasn’t sure when he had been moved back to the hotel bed, but he was grateful. The conversation the older man was having above him was enough to keep him awake, but not enough to make him want to adjust. He would take the affection and insight to Ollie’s thought process while he could get away with it.

“Yeah, alright. When do you think you’ll get here?”

Kimi strained to hear the response, or hell even just the voice, from the other side of the phone, to no avail.

“Alright, see you then, Max.”

Kimi wasn’t sure what to feel about that; he wasn’t sure how to feel about Ollie (presumably) discussing his situation with Max, or how to feel about Max coming and seeing how he was in his current state. It was passed the point of him being able to object, so he’d just have to get through it.

Ollie shifted, placing his phone down on the bedside table, mumbling to himself, “It’ll be okay Andrea. You’ll be okay. I’m here for you, darling.”

Kimi couldn’t help but preen at the reassurances, whether or not Ollie knew he was awake yet. He knew the older couldn’t be in love with him, but the simple promises made his heart soar. The use of his first name didn’t do anything to ease his racing heart either.

Before Kimi could let himself fall back into the arms of sleep, Ollie was replacing his warmth with a pillow, to answer the knocking at the door.

“Max! Were you nearby then? Come in, come in.”

Kimi forced himself to open his eyes proper, rubbing the sleep that still remained out of them. Ollie was back by his side within moments, ruffling his hair gently.

“Feeling better, Kimi?” The gentle concern lingered in the man’s eyes, only fleeting once the younger managed a simple nod.

“Max is here, I uh… I figured-”

Max put a hand on Ollie’s shoulder, motioning for him to stop talking for a moment. Kimi forced himself to sit up, pulling the pillow he was lying on into his lap.

“Ollie called me and gave me a run down of what’s happened,” Max’s Dutch accent seeped into every word that left his mouth, and Kimi elected to blame any bluntness that was bound to enter the room on the man’s nationality, “And he asked if I could come over and help any.”

Kimi let his eyes swing from Ollie, to Max, and back again, barely managing to force the only question he had out of his mouth, “Did you tell him that I’m…” He looked down at his body, not wanting to let the word linger should he have been kind enough not to.

Ollie’s breath hitched, and when Kimi looked up at him he could see the guilt in his eyes.

“I did, and I’m so sorry, Kimi. I just-”

Ollie stopped talking when Max elbowed him gently in the side, clearing his throat to make the youngest in the room look at him, “He did, and while he should have asked you first, which it is clear now that he did not,” Max gave a pointed glare to Ollie, “There are worse people he could have told. I wouldn’t want people just sharing the fact that I’m trans either, but I’m here to help however you’ll let me.”

The words settled over the room, realization hitting Kimi like a truck.

Did Max Verstappen just say he’s trans.

“What?” 

Kimi hadn’t meant to say anything, the word slipping past his lips like a plea. He was silently begging Max to not be making a joke out of him, but he knew Max was better than that. Right?

Max chuckled, placing a hand on Kimi’s shoulder, “Yeah, that seems like a fair reaction. To be fair, the only person on grid I’ve explicitly told before now is Daniel so,” He trailed off, an awkward silence beginning to settle over the room.

The three shared a couple of awkward glances, until Ollie cleared his throat.

“So… Leclerc…” He brought his eyes to meet Kimi’s, anger and concern flicking through him.

“Yeah. Him.”

Kimi’s eyes went wide, the anger emanating off the older driver in such close proximity to the younger being a foreign sight to him.

“Kimi, I want to tell you that Ollie did not tell me much. He told me that that bastard hurt you, and that he outed you. And that itself, no matter what else may have happened, is unfair of him. He took advantage of you, and you deserve better than whatever he did to you behind closed doors,” Kimi felt like he was going to cry, but Max continued, his eyes burrowing into the younger’s, “I will keep you safe Kimi. If he so much as speaks to you again, I will not hesitate to hurt him. Any appreciation, or hell, love, I felt for him before now, is gone. Do you understand me? I will stand by you Kimi. It is up to you how public or private you want this, but I will stand behind you regardless of what your decision may be.”

The reassurances that came from Max, the promises, the confessions - it was too much. It made Kimi’s heart hurt, knowing how much the older driver cared about him. Tears began to slip down his face, and he let himself fall into Ollie’s waiting arms.

“You’re a good person, Andrea. You’re good, and you’re perfect, and he cannot ruin that, I promise, Andrea,” Ollie mumbled the swears into his curls, arms wrapping impossibly tighter around the younger man.

“This is lovely to watch, but I do have to ask you a very important question, Kimi.”

The young Italian forced his eyes open, looking at the Dutchman across from him.

“I do not need details, save for one if your answer is yes. But I must ask, for your safety; did he sexually assault you?” Max’s voice was serious, but regretful as the question left his mouth.

Kimi froze, the moment those two words were spoken. He knew what the answer was, but he wanted to pretend that that’s not what it was. He wanted to pretend that it was the alcohol, but he knew that was a lie. He knew that Charles was perfectly sober, it was one of the few things he remembered the man saying when he woke up. So, instead of answering, he just let his hands grip Ollie’s shirt, and thanked every past interaction the two have had before as he nodded for the younger.

Max sighed, emotions swirling behind his eyes. He looked between Kimi and Ollie as he prepared to ask his second question, “Is there any concern that you could have gotten pregnant?”

The world froze for Kimi. He was taken back to the night prior, and fought so hard to be able to answer Max’s questions. He fell into the bed a few rooms over, the bed that now lived inside his mind, and begged himself to remember. He begged his brain to tell him how he was used, how he was hurt, but every memory he had was the same: Charles degrading and dehumanizing him, the bed creaking, and pain. So. Much. Pain. The arms around him squeezed him tighter, forcing him up from the sea of memories. He was lucid enough now to realize he was shaking, and the tears from before were far more intense now. Sobs wracked his body as he tried to get the words out.

“I don’t-” his words were interrupted by hiccups and sobs, fear flooding his entire being, “I don’t know- He- He touched me but I… I don’t know where, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m…” 

A sob tore itself from his throat, as his brain fought between hiding deeper inside Ollie’s chest and throwing himself to the floor, and hiding from the world. The man that held him brushed a hand through the shaking man’s hair, a simple gesture that made Kimi feel safer than he’d like to admit. 

Max cleared his throat before speaking again, his voice impossibly gentle, “That’s okay, Kimi. You don’t have to know; and you don’t have to try to make yourself remember. If you’d like, and if you feel it’s necessary, I could, or have someone else, get you a day after pill?”

The words were calm, cautious almost, and Kimi appreciated it, he really did. But the idea of anyone outside of this room knowing what had happened terrified him.

“Of course, no one would have to know. I could say it was a hookup or something, whatever would help you feel better about it all.”

Oh.

Of course Max would offer to cover it up. Kimi let himself nod, whilst burying himself into Ollie’s chest.

“Please.”

The word was filled with so much desperation and fear, but Kimi ignored how he sounded. All he felt obligated to focus on now was how Ollie’s hand felt in his hair, and how his heart rate slowed, attempting to matching the Brit’s. He felt safer, now. Anxiety ate away at him, but for now he let himself be consumed by the love, that he was so sure was platonic, emanating from his best friend.

“I’ll be back soon then. If anything happens while I’m gone, you both hae my number. Do not hesitate to call me, no matter how big or small the situation may seem in the moment,” Max placed one hand on Kimi’s shoulder for just a moment, before ruffling Ollie’s hair. The door clicked softly behind him, leaving the two young adults in the quiet room.

Ollie continued to let his hand run through Kimi’s curls, scratching at his scalp every so often. But when Kimi let out a quiet gasp as Ollie’s nails scratched behind his ear, his engagement in the subconscious action grew.

“Did you just- are you- are you okay, Andrea?” The words were rushed, and Ollie’s hand were on Kimi’s cheeks before he could will himself to disappear into the bed. Ollie gently forced the younger to sit up across from him, staring intently at the man.

He looked at Ollie, and he was sure his pupils were massive, “I’m okay, just… y’know…”

Brown eyes raked over the Italian’s face, searching for an unspoken answer, “Was that- are you hurt? Or was it like- did that feel-”

Kimi let out an awkward chuckle, enjoying Ollie’s mild panicking, “I’m okay, Ollie, it felt…” He froze, not knowing how to phrase his words in a manner that conveyed pure platonic love, “It felt… mhm!”

Ollie raised an eyebrow before letting a hand wander behind Kimi’s ear, scratching gently. As he did so, Kimi felt his face heat up, a gasp escaping his lips before he could slap a palm over his mouth.

The Brit’s eyes lit up, as though he had just found a pot of treasure, “Oh my god! Oh my god, Andrea! You’re like- you’re like… this is like when- when you scratch a dog’s head and then they really like it! Oh my god Andrea! You are adorable, oh my god,” Ollie rambled, words falling freely from his lips as one hand scratched behind Kimi’s ear and the other scratched at the back of his scalp.

The feeling made him feel so safe, so calm, it was almost as though he could feel the stress and fear leaving his body. He leaned into the touch, allowing Ollie to gape in awe at the putty in his hands. 

“Oh my god Andrea, you are so handsome and cute, oh my god, I love y-”

The hands in Kimi’s hair stilled, but Kimi swore he could feel tremors in them. It wasn’t until they were retreating and Ollie was apologizing that Kimi processed what he had said.

He looked up at the man who was now standing against the wall, hand curled tight to his chest, “I am so sorry Kimi, I shouldn’t’ve said that, especially not with all that’s going on, I am so sorry.”

Kimi tuned the elder out as he stood, practically already invading the other’s space. He gently took Ollie’s hands in his, placing them to his cheeks so that his best friend could feel the blush spreading across his body.

“I love you too, Ollie. I just- I didn’t know you felt that way,” A smile grew across the Italian’s face, as he watched the gears turn in Ollie’s head, a smile of his own quickly growing.

Ollie pulled Kimi closer to his chest, looking down at the man, “You are more than welcome to say no, please say no if you are even momentarily unsure, but… may I kiss you, Andrea?”

Kimi froze for just a moment, before spilling the feelings roaming in his chest to the man that held him ever so tenderly, “I would love if you kissed me but… I just- I know you’re you, and my heart knows you’re you, but I’m terrified that the moment we kiss and my eyes close, my brain will forget that fact.” Kimi let his eyes drop from Ollie’s to the man’s chest, only raising when the taller man hooked a finger under Kimi’s chin.

“Then we can both keep our eyes open, if that would make you feel more comfortable.”

Kimi swore his jaw dropped, as his heart soared higher than the clouds. He hadn’t processed any other option, but Ollie seemed so sure, so focused on keeping Kimi comfortable that he couldn’t help but melt.

“I would love to kiss you, with my eyes open, Ollie,” Kimi let the words tumble from his lips, leaning forward and pushing himself onto his toes.

Ollie caught Kimi’s lips in his own, and as they made eye contact, Kimi couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. As they broke apart, from the short kiss that felt like it could’ve lasted forever, they spoke in sync.

“I love you, Andrea.”

“I love you, Ollie.”