Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Owww.” Gangle groaned as Jax once again pushed her to the ground and her comedy mask shattered under her ribbon hands. This was typical of him, but today she felt a malice she hadn’t felt in a while. She was in for a bad day.

“Oh Gangle, you really need to learn to stand up for yourself. This is getting sad.” Jax drawled. He offered a hand to help her up, then quickly withdrew it, smirking at the way she fell forward once again.

In hindsight, Gangle knew this was going to happen. She hadn’t paired up with Jax in the last adventure, the ‘Gun One’ as she had dubbed it, and now she was going to pay the price. No kind words or encouragement from Zooble would save her from her current predicament.

Jax had walked a bit away from her, but he wasn’t done yet. They were alone after he had cornered her after she had left her room, down at the far end of the hallway where all of their rooms were. She’d have to be really lucky to have one of them come up here at this time of day. Usually by now they were all lounging around waiting for Caine’s next adventure,not up by their rooms.

Turning around and flashing a Cheshire grin, Jax started his usual spiel, “Y’know, I would go easy on you, but you seem to never learn.” He tsked, shaking his head. “You’re supposed to be the sad one, and you’re supposed to do what I say. Be submissive and all that.” Waving dismissively, he leaned forward. “Thank god I’m here to help with that!”

Jax started briskly walking back towards her and she cowered under the scrutiny of his gaze. Next thing she knew, he had scissors in his hands.

She was so screwed.

When he was done with her, the ribbons that used to make up her arms and hands littered on the floor at her feet, she was definitely crying. She shuddered as she looked down at the nubs that used to be her arms. His smile seemed to widen at that.

Her arms were just… gone. Like they were never there before. Her breath picked up. It still felt like they were there, it really was a weird feeling. Oh my god her arms were gone. What the hell had he done to her.

“Ah look! Now you’re sad. This is perfect. Good job!” Jax grinned creepily down at her and had the audacity to pat her on the head. “Now onto the legs.”

Gangle’s head whipped up. “W-what? I thought you were done?” She whimpered out as he grabbed one of her legs and pulled her up. As she fell to the floor, her arms were not there to help her balance anymore and she writhed around helplessly like a fish out of water.

“I mean I could stop,” Jax said, drawing out the ‘could’, “but I think I’d need to hear you beg.”

Gangle didn’t think twice, and started crying harder begging him to let her go and stop. All she saw was his shit eating grin through her watery eyes before suddenly it was quickly ripped away and replaced by a familiar pink.

With Jax away from her, Gangle curled up into a ball on the floor and sobbed, shaking horrendously, but somehow still conscious enough to hear the sound of a fight behind her. It felt like home. She didn’t like that thought

Eventually, the chaos settled down and she heard one last profane shout as one of them stomped away and one approached behind her. Gangle couldn’t help but flinch as a hand grabbed her shoulder where Jax had stopped cutting. Slowly though, her body untensed. She knew that hand anywhere, gentle and kind, always there for her when she needed it most.

Zooble turned Gangle over, eyes wide and full of righteous anger, but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. It never was with Zooble.

“Hey.” They whispered down at her with all of the gentleness in the world.

“Hi.” Gangle choked out through a particularly violent sob.

“Can I sit you up?”

“Yeah.”

So they did, shifting slightly to lean Gangle comfortably against the wall. Now that Gangle was upright, she saw that Zooble looked a little roughed up themselves. Did they fight Jax for her? Before Gangle could think too hard about it, Zooble asked, “Was there a reason he did that?” As they said that, they sat beside Gangle, leaning carefully against one of her shoulder nubs in an attempt to comfort.

They both already knew the answer.

“Is there ever a reason?” Gangle laughed wetly, rubbing tears out of her eyes with her nubs only for them to reappear again moments later. She really wasn’t sure why Jax did what he did most of the time. None of them really knew.

“I’ve said this before, but I need you to know you don’t deserve to go through that.” Zooble sighed, glaring at the floor and seemingly coming to a conclusion. “You should start hanging around me more.”

Gangle’s eyes widened at that, “Ah- no- I would never ask that of you.” She sputtered out, clearly caught off guard. Zooble’s eyebrows creased in confusion.

“You act like being around you is a punishment. You do know that I like spending time with you, right?” They sounded so sincere, Gangle could almost believe it.

“I just… it is? If I’m around, you’ll just have more things to worry about. I’ll only drag you down.” Gangle averted her eyes ashamed. Zooble didn’t deserve to have more things to worry about in their current predicament. The least Gangle could do was try to not add to their load.

Zooble was staring at her, and Gangle straightened up her posture in an attempt to look less pathetic. “Well! On that note, I should probably go and um… talk to Pomni?” She started to stand up, but a firm hand grabbed her shoulder. It whipped her around and suddenly two mismatched eyes were peering intensely into hers. Gangle squeaked at the sudden movement.

“You aren’t a burden.” Zooble started, leaning impossibly closer to Gangle. “Please, stay by me. Let me help you. I don’t like seeing you hurt. If not for your sake, then mine?”

Maybe Gangle could believe them. All it takes is one decision, one choice, to change your life for the better. A simple ‘okay’ and all the hurt could begin to go away.

She leaned forward and hugged Zooble. It was awkward because of her missing arms, so only her shoulders really went up, but they seemed to understand the gesture and wrapped their arms around Gangle too.

They stayed there in the warm embrace for a moment, then they pulled away. “I-if you’re offering, I’d like to stay by your side too.” Gangle said sheepishly. If she had her arms she would be rubbing the back of her neck. “I really like you.” A fierce blush ran up her face, and she looked to the side hoping Zooble wouldn’t notice.

Now was not the time to be catching feelings. Surely Zooble was just reaching out to help in a platonic way, and Gangle didn’t want to push that any further.

“I like you too.” Their tone of voice surprised Gangle. She didn’t think she had ever heard Zooble get shy before, but when she looked up to look at their face, she saw a faint blush on Zooble’s cheeks too.

Huh. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one who’d caught feelings.

“I guess we should call Caine to get you fixed up, huh?” Zooble suggested, quickly trying to change the topic. They’d focus on their new discoveries later, for now they had to focus on the problem at hand.

“Oh! Yeah, I guess we should.” Gangle snapped out of her reverie after staring at the beautiful person in front of her. Zooble moved to stand, then reached out an arm to help Gangle up, before realizing that she had no arms to help her up with. They both shared a smile.

Zooble held a hand on Gangle’s back in a compromise and righted her. They walked down the hallway to find Caine, both smiling like idiots. If Gangle saw Zooble flip Jax off as they exited the area and walked past him, she pretended she didn’t.

Chapter Text

Jax took a deep breath and ripped the headset off his head for the first time in what felt like years. Maybe it had been. None of them knew how time worked in the digital world anyways. His head felt fuzzy.

Staring around at the walls that haunted him every night in the circus, he came to the conclusion that time had definitely passed. When he'd first arrived, most things were in decent enough shape. Now, the wallpaper was peeling in awkward spots along the wall, the lightbulbs had long been burnt out, and a thick layer of dust coated every surface. The only thing that was left to illuminate the room was the boxy old computer that was the root cause of his torment.

Jax wanted to smash it. So he did. He threw the headset aside and let it clatter to the ground, and laid into the computer. The glass came first, as it dug into his hands and scraped them bloody. Then, once the screen was fully destroyed he yanked at the wires and pulled them until they snapped, causing small sparks of electricity to spray out at him. They stung, but he was too gone to fully process the pain his body was feeling at the moment.

One final blow to the side of the computer, and he finished his tantrum by swiping the whole setup off the desk onto the floor. A few more larger spritzes of electricity came out of the frayed wires and the monitor went fully blank.

He sat there and processed everything for a moment.

They were free. After an unknown amount of time being trapped as a human experiment for some company’s' sick desires, they were free.

Jax grabbed at his face where the headset laid before, and felt endless relief. The reality of the situation was far from hitting him, but he knew he had to get up and do well… something. Maybe he could start with finding the others. He wasn’t sure if they would even want to see him after everything he put them through, but if he was this shaken he was sure they were too. Hopefully so much so that they can forget momentarily about the horrible things he’d done.

The horrible mistakes he’d made.

In a moment none of that mattered when in a flash he remembered what happened as they were leaving the digital world.

Pomni!

Pomni had sacrificed herself for all of them, stepping in the way of Caine who was desperately trying to stop them from leaving. The last thing he saw was those eyes. He shivered.

The eyes of abstraction never leave your nightmares. Once you’ve seen them once, they stick with you. Those eyes were springing from Pomni as they left. Caine must have been trying to force her to abstract.

She couldn’t be dead though, surely. He had watched so many people he cared about disappear around him. She couldn’t just become another face among the deceased that he would inevitably forget about one day. He couldn’t accept that.

He really hated to admit it, but he cared about her. The very thought made him grind his teeth together.

Jax jumped up from his spot where he was laid over a desk for however long, and immediately felt his knees buckle below him. He fell to the ground unceremoniously, but he was nothing if not stubborn, and tried again to stand.

With some intense effort on his part he was able to start walking with a lot of help from the wall that was laden with gunk and grime. Jax grimaced slightly, but proceeded. He exited the room, gripping the door frame, and he called out.

There was a groan from the room door adjacent to his and he cautiously limped his way over.

The door creaked open in protest, and when he scanned the room he realized it was almost identical to the one he was just in. However, this one had an intact computer and a small woman sprawled across the floor. A headset rested not too far from her on the ground.

Jax was quick to rush to her side and flip her over. He wasn’t a saint, but he also wasn’t a monster. He couldn’t just leave someone like this.

The two face framing pieces gave her away. How Caine managed to model their characters after their real world attributes was beyond him, but he supposed he couldn’t complain because it sure did come in handy now.

“Pomni?” He whispered. Pomni didn’t respond, face scrunched up in pain though he couldn’t see any physical wounds that would be making her react like this. Jax shook her a few times and she finally opened her eyes and acknowledged him.

“How do you?”

“It’s me, Jax.” Her eyes widened a bit with recognition, but almost immediately after she winced back into her pained state. He cupped her cheek to try and provide some semblance of comfort. She leaned into it slightly, but it didn’t seem to help much. “What can I do to help you? What happened?”

Tears welled in her eyes and he felt her tense under him, “Caine he… tried to kill me…” So he had been right then. What the hell happened to family friendly? “My head feels really heavy.”

Jax looked down at her in a panic as blood started to trickle from her nose, but he knew now wasn’t the time to freak out. Especially because he had no idea how to help with internal wounds. It was time to do what he did best to comfort the one person left alive from the circus that made him feel like a real person until he could find help.

“Tell me there’s hope for me, Jax…” Pomni started to sob, and he could tell it was only hurting her worse because the blood trailed out faster and her lips were now turning a shade of blue.

“Hey, hey, you’ll be fine y’know what this reminds me of?” He asked, trying to distract her from her current state.

“W-what?” She coughed out through her tears.

“One time, when I first arrived at the circus I was dead set on pranking Ragatha.” Jax reminisced, lifting her head up for her as he felt it lose strength in his grasp. Hold on Pomni, please. He continued to smile, “She didn’t have a set schedule, so it was hard to set it up, but I was able to find out that she left her room at a certain time each morning.”

“I decided to put a banana peel outside her door. A bit boring, I know, but I was still getting used to how far I could go with my pranks before getting in serious trouble.”

“Y-you’re terrible.” Pomni gasped out, but he knew she meant no ill will by the small smile on her face.

“Don’t waste your breath, please.” He whispered desperately, mask slipping slightly, and she got quiet again.

“A-anyways!” Great recovery doofus. “I put it outside her door and when she came out she took a serious fall. After I got a good laugh out of it, I realized she wasn’t getting up.” He moved his unoccupied hand to rub at the back of his neck.

“I rushed over to check on her, but she wasn’t responding. I had to go as far as getting Caine to bring her back. He said it had something to do with a bug in the system causing colliding objects to clip a certain way?” His face scrunched in confusion. “It was the first time I felt any kind of guilt messing with someone, especially her, in the circus.”

“I knew you weren’t as evil-” A raspy cough, “as you try to make yourself seem.”

Jax stared at her in silent reprimand, but she just smiled that stupid smile that he had grown to love up at him. Even outside of her cartoon body, all of her Pomni specific characteristics were mirrored in her now human form. Damn he really liked this girl.

His face flushed at the sudden realization and he tried to hide it behind his hand, that was before she started to get a certain glaze to her eyes that made his heart pick up.

“Hey! Stay with me! Pomni you can’t give up on living now c’mon!” Her face started to fall, and he shook her slightly. She came back a little at that and he felt himself sigh out in relief.

All of the sudden, footsteps bounded down the hallway, and there was sudden shouting. Jax thought for a second maybe help was on the way. When four people appear in the doorway, he feels his heart drop a little in… guilt? Ugh, he’d deal with that later.

The first one to speak was a girl who stood in the middle of the group. She had a large red ribbon holding back long black hair and pale skin. She looks taken aback by the sight in front of her sputtering out, “Jax?”

Even he found himself feeling choked up after such a reunion, but he couldn’t focus on that right now. “Please help her.”

That was all that needed to be said. Gangle, he presumed, ran over and felt for Pomni’s pulse on her wrist. Jax looked at the others helplessly, but they all avoided eye contact, and he felt a certain fearful rage take over him as he shakily stood up.

“I know you all have your qualms with me, but if we can’t get past all that when someone who just sacrificed her life for us is on the ground bleeding out then none of you deserved to escape.” His words cut deep, but seemed to snap them all out of their stupors and the girl in the entrance with brown hair in almost perfect coils who he was assuming was Ragatha started to give people things to do to help.

Jax looked back over to Gangle who was assessing Pomni who was beginning to shake in his grasp. Shit.

“What can we do?”

“Put her legs above her head for now to keep her blood flowing.” Gangle said, gesturing her arms in a frantic gesture. “We have to get her out of here, it looks like the bleeding is fully internal. There’s nothing we can do without real medical supplies.”

“And how do you know all of this is true?” Jax snarked, regretting it almost immediately. After his whole speech to the group about getting along too. He guesses he just can’t help but be a hypocrite even outside of the circus.

Gangle looked at the floor meekly. “I spent a lot of time in the hospital after suicide attempts. The doctors would preach to me about how to take care of wounds better for if I started self harming again when I was released.”

Damn. Maybe he would try being a bit nicer to her from here on out.

“B-but that isn’t important right now. We need to get Pomni out of here.” Her brown eyes shined with determination.

It was then that the person with dyed pink hair and tattoos up their arms who was so obviously Zooble Jax could have laughed if it weren’t for the dire situation at hand. They put their hand on Gangle’s shoulder, “Ragatha has her car keys still in her pocket. We can use her car to go to a hospital.”

Jax looked back down to Pomni who was still shaking with her eyes squeezed shut in visible anguish. The blood still trickled down her nose. He lifted his hand to gently wipe it away.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go.” He said firmly, and he lifted Pomni into a bridal hold. His legs were still shaky, but he pushed through the weakness and brushed past the others out of the room.

Ragatha ran to catch up to him. “Jeez, don’t jostle her like that.”

“I don’t want to hear any complaints when we just spent the past how many years immobile being sustained by a vr headset.” He quipped back and saw her wilt a bit.

Good. They were supposed to hate him. But did that even matter anymore now that they escaped? He pondered on it a moment before coming to the conclusion that was a thought for later and right now he needed to focus on the girl in his arms.

They all rushed out the front doors and were quick to spot the parking lot. Most of the cars there were old and rusted, but the one Ragatha pointed to, a dirty suv in the back of the lot, looked worse for wear, but usable.

Ragatha clicked her keys, and to Jax’s surprise the car’s front lights actually lit up and the car roared to life. He didn’t need to be told twice before he and the others were running towards the car. They bounded in, squishing next to each other in the back while Kinger took shotgun. Ragatha was the last one in and she hopped into the driver's seat.

“Oh my god it still has gas.” She breathed out in disbelief before putting the car in drive and speeding out of there.

Pomni laid across his, Gangle, and Zooble’s laps looking worse for wear, the blood now a constant flow coming out of her nose and ears. The only indicator that she was still with them were the gasps of breath she would let out every now and then.

Jax squeezed her hand in his and looked back at the abandoned office building through the back window. Hopefully, if she could pull through they would be able to put that god forsaken place in the past, and begin to move on.

He knew there would be hope for them, and judging by the looks on the other’s faces, they believed the same.

Chapter Text

Jax was bored.

He was sick of the repetitive adventures and monotonous days spent alone in the circus. Not even bullying Gangle brought him the joy it used to. So, when Caine presented the day's adventure as usual, it was only natural that he provided some clapback.

All he said was a simple, “Jeez, couldn’t come up with anything actually interesting, Dentures,” and Caine snapped. Zooble had warned Jax about this, but he was never one to listen to others until it was too late. It was a flaw his old man never failed to bring up when they were in an argument.

Now he felt he would probably take a fight with his Dad over a fight with an all omnipotent AI, but hey, he couldn’t be picky. Caine snapped his fingers, anger and frustration clear through the downwards pull of his teeth. A look Jax was all too familiar with inciting.

Suddenly, large hands grabbed him and dragged him into darkness. The last thing he saw was the unbothered looks of the others. All except Pomni, who held her hands to her chest, and had a look of… worry? Hah, she was always stressing over the dumbest things. The way that she still cared for him despite their argument sat heavily in his stomach as air rushed past his ears and he was thrown into a dark room.

No. Why this room?

He was back in the room Gangle had forced him to go to for his ‘Employee Reevaluation”. His eyes darted around looking for any threats. Last time he was here, he left thoroughly traumatized, and he really wasn’t partial for a round two. He had bit off more than he could chew this time.

“Caine?” Jax called out, voice wavering. “You do know I was joking, right?” He stood there looking around nervously, before Caine appeared floating a few feet above him in the middle of the room.

“Oh, Jax. You’ve been a bit too… critical of my adventures lately. I can’t imagine how this attitude will progress in the future if it isn’t corrected.” Caine said sincerely, his eyes reflecting nonexistent light in the dark room.

Yeah f#$% this.

Jax could let up his dignity for this moment if it meant not having to go through that again. “Caine, I-I’m sorry.” A stutter. Jax did not stutter. He cleared his throat, “It won’t happen again. I’ll even reflect and change my ways. Just give me a day or two, ‘kay?”

What happened to all of his bravado? This was humiliating, groveling at the AI’s feet, but he felt he had no choice in the matter. Caine tapped a finger to his gum, “Well, I could do that.” Caine pondered with a lilt to his voice. Jax’s ears perked up. Maybe he could get out of this with a light tap on the wrist. “But last time we did this it didn’t seem to work, so this time we need to up the stakes!”

Jax’s ears lowered.

Caine started to list things on his hand, “You’re still disruptive, you don’t get along with the other circus members, you purposefully start violence, and so much more! How am I supposed to believe that you won’t do that again without some more reevaluation?” Caine criticized then crossed his arms like an upset child, and looked at Jax with a pout.

Jax opened his mouth to respond, but was quickly pinned to the wall by the same robotic, gloved hands as last time. His breath caught in his throat as he failed trying to take a deep breath. If he already knew what was coming, then surely he would be fine.

“To start, I think some physical reminders may help! I’ve done some research and found that if you give a human something to look at as a reminder to past misdeeds, they are less likely to commit it again in the future.” Caine seemed almost jovial. Jax’s eyes widened, and he started to squirm.

There had to be a way out of this.

As one of the gloved hands raised a hammer above his now outstretched leg (when did that happen?), he scrambled for a response. His mind apparently settled on, “I don’t care if you hurt me. I don’t learn my lessons from pain.” He spat it out, breath heaving.

Caine looked at him curiously. “Is that so? Hmmmm.” The hands lowered away slowly, and Jax felt his whole body deflate. That was until Caine proposed his second idea, the hands on his arms and legs came back in a flash seeming to tighten their grips with his excitement.

“Well, if that’s the case!” One snap of his fingers and now Pomni was standing confused in the middle of the dark room. Their eyes met and hers widened in surprise at the vulnerable situation he was in. His face flushed in embarrassment.

Neither of them had much time to say anything before Pomni was grabbed by hands too and pinned against the wall opposite of Jax. His heart dropped. This is not what he wanted to happen.

“Since physical correction won’t work on you, maybe seeing someone else go through it will!” Caine exclaimed. No one else in the room seemed to share the sentiment. Pomni stared over at Jax in confusion and fear, and all he could do was stare back.

“Caine?” Pomni all but whimpered out, and if Jax’s heart wasn’t racing before, it sure was now.

“Pomni! You’re here to help to teach our rabbit friend to behave.” Caine shook with excitement, and Pomni cringed away from the energy.

“Why me?” She breathed out.

“Don’t act like I haven’t seen you two getting all chummy recently.” Caine went to nudge Pomni, and she visibly tried to move against her restraints, away from the movement. “I just thought that if Jax wasn’t motivated by my use of physical pain, then maybe he would be more motivated by me using it on someone else!”

Jax saw the moment Pomni registered the words, and how her face dropped. “Wh- what? Caine, what are you talking about?” She nervously laughed.

“This of course!” And a giant knife appeared in one of the hands’ grip and stabbed right down into Pomni’s leg.

She screamed out in pain, and it was enough to bring Jax out of his mind and into the present. “Caine this isn’t what I meant!” He shouted, desperate to get them both out of this situation.

“There’s the reaction I was looking for! I’ll need to write this down for later.” As another knife cut itself all the way through Pomni’s shin, a little yellow bee-themed notepad and a pen with a cutesy design materialized in Caine’s hand. While she wailed and writhed under the hands, Caine jotted down a note, and nodded in satisfaction.

It was then Jax realized Caine really didn’t understand what he was doing, and he wasn’t going to stop until his code thought it had come to a solution to the problem. The problem was, how was he supposed to know when Jax had learned his lesson? Another sound of flesh being sliced, and another cry.

Jax looked at Pomni expecting rage and hatred to be painting her face, but all he saw was pain and also compassion. What was her deal? Why no matter how much he hurt her, did she always come back with open arms? He really f#$%^& up didn’t he?

Tears were streaming down her contorted face and her eyes were red and puffy. Jax realized she still looked beautiful despite her state. He also realized now was not the time to be having these revelations about her.

Another stab, this time in abdomen. She only grunted this time and let a sob escape her. Blood spurted out of her mouth, but she held her eye contact with him still.

When they got out of here, he knew the image would haunt him, but he felt it disrespectful to her to look away. After all, he had dragged her into this situation. If she had to go through this, then he would go through it with her as best he could. His ears were impossibly low to his head.

A stab, this time in an arm that was still trying to break free. Jax saw it go limp in the arm’s grasp. More blood fell from her mouth. She held eye contact.

This went on for what felt like hours, but was likely only one, until Caine was satisfied. He floated down to Jax and patted him twice on the head, and snapped to release them both. Jax fell forward on his hands and knees, shaking like a leaf.

Pomni wasn’t so lucky.

When Jax looked up she was face down in a pile of her own blood. He heard her crackling breaths echoing across the room as they released from her blood coated lungs. Jax scrambled over to her side and rolled her over, holding her in his arms protectively.

“No, no, no…” Jax shook her. He knew realistically they couldn’t die here, but he knew from past experience, he knew they felt pain, and Pomni was definitely feeling this. Glaring up at Caine with Pomni’s frail body in his grasp, he shouted up, “This isn’t what I meant and you know it.” He knew Caine didn’t actually know it, but the sentence came out before he could really think it through.

Ignoring Jax, Caine clapped his hands together. “Well that seemed like a glaring success. Isn’t that right, Bubble?”

Bubble appeared out of thin air next to Caine, “You forgot about the sexual tension, Boss!”

Caine stared at Bubble in disbelief, “Bubble… stop saying stuff like that.” And with that they both disappeared, leaving Pomni and Jax on the floor of the dark room.

When Jax looked back down at Pomni, her wounds were gone, but her eyes were still faraway and haunted. “Hey, Pom?” He shook her gently. No response.

“Pom? Pomni?” Jax panicked and began shaking her harder. Her eyes went to meet his, and she pushed him away with a guttural grunt. They stared at each other wide eyed for a minute. Jax was the one to break the silence, reaching a hand out to her.

“Pomni, you know I didn’t mean to do that.” He said, barely a whisper, but it seemed like it echoed in the silence of the room. Laying himself bare to her wasn’t his intention before entering this room, but now his dignity was gone. He had nothing left to lose.

Pomni nodded slowly, still dazed from everything. She clutched at her body in a way that made her seem like she would break if he lightly touched her. It didn’t stop him from wanting to hold her in his arms and protect her from this digital hell.

God, what had gotten into him.

Pomni finally seemed to snap out of whatever daze she was in because her gaze suddenly snapped up to him with a fire in it he had only seen one time before. Oh, he was in for it now.

“Jax, what the hell!?”

“Look, I said I was sor-”

“No, not that. You know what I’m talking about.” She spat out. He hated when people said that. Surprisingly, no, he couldn’t read her mind. Shocker.

“I actually don’t know. Care to elaborate?” He drawled out.

She clenched her fists and he saw her start to tremble. He hated that he always elicited this kind of response from people, but he just couldn’t help it. His parents always did tell him he had a hard time holding his tongue.

“You, ugh! You always do this. You instigate and try to make others mad, and look at where it gets you.” She looked down at her previously mutilated arms with wide, crazed eyes. “Look at where it gets us.”

Pomni clutched one of her hair strands and tugged, breaking out into maniacal laughter. Jax could do nothing but sit there and watch with that dumb smile he always had plastered on his face like an idiot.

When she finally simmered down, she slumped against a wall and stared blankly at the floor. “Ya done?” He asked smartly. Pomni gave him a half hearted glare.

“Sorry.” He conceded, too mentally exhausted from what had occurred, what he had caused, to think of a better response. This was all his fault. She was right and he was wrong. What else was new?

She sighed, “I just wish you would stop starting things, and putting yourself and others in harm's way.”

Jax had a snarky remark come to mind, but it died on his tongue before it had the chance to leave his mouth. He didn’t know if he was capable of doing that, without learning to hold his tongue. It was a trait he had picked up in the real world. It would take a lot of convincing and practice to just let it go.

Shoulders slumped, he decided to mumble, “It’s not my fault I have strong opinions. What? Am I not allowed to speak my mind now?” He thought that would be the end of the conversation with the way her lip curled up in disgust, so he went to stand up. A hand reached up and tugged at his before he could fully retreat.

Pomni’s eyes were wide as if she had shocked herself by the gesture, but her gaze quickly turned determined, “You’re allowed to have opinions, Jax. It’s just you’re hurting yourself and others in the process. You’re fighting a losing battle.” She looked up at him, searching his eyes for something, and looked away nervously when she couldn’t find it.

Good.

In fact, the very gesture sickened him. Yes, they had grown closer, but she didn’t know him. Didn’t know the things he’d done. She could stare at him all she wanted, she wouldn't find anything. Anger flared and worked to snap him out of his mopey state, and he ripped his hand away from her causing her to flinch back. “Do you think I wanted this to happen? Do you think I can just predict what an all knowing AI’s next move is?” His smile widened and his eyebrows creased as he swung his arms out wide. “That I know what the hell is ever going to happen next in this stupid f@#$%^% world!?”

Jax stood there wildly, gasping for breath after his little outburst. After he composed himself a little, he muttered, “You’re not the only one who’s scared Pomni. We all cope with being here differently.”

Pomni didn’t say anything this time, just reached out a hand in invitation. He could deny it, could reject her fully and walk away again just like the gun adventure, but he didn’t have as much motivation to keep up the act anymore. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew she was right. He was an a#$%$^@ that hurt others, and if he didn’t make an attempt to change, he might end up screwing them all over.

He hated to trust people, rejected it wholeheartedly with his very being, but she always came back, and it never hurt. Not at her fault at least, it was always because of him making dumb decisions and pushing her away. Jax wanted to stop making those decisions.

He reached his hand out and took hers.

When their fingers intertwined, she squeezed his hand gently, and he just stared at her. It was almost endearing how she still didn’t look at him with hate in her eyes like all of the other circus members. She tugged him down to the ground once more and they sat in silence.

He stared blankly at the pitch black walls that surrounded them and seemed to rise up for as far as he could see. It was almost a refreshing sight compared to the bright palette they usually saw in the circus if it weren’t for the events that had just occurred.

Pomni waited a few minutes until she was sure he was calm enough to talk to, and squeezed his hand once more for good measure, before saying, “I get that we’re all scared, but you really have to think about what you’re doing before you do it. It affects everyone, y’know?”

“I thought I was gonna lose you.” His voice cracked. Everyone knew you couldn’t actually die in the circus, but the fear never eluded them especially on adventures where Caine had very intense depictions of ways they could die.

“No grave can hold my body down.” She half joked with a small smile on her face. It however, caused tears to mar his vision and he tried to blink them away, but they slipped out against his will.

Pomni glanced over and raised a hand up to his face to wipe away some of the tears, “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” She whispered softly. He leaned into her hand, the warmth of it helping more than she could ever know.

“Can I hug you?” He asked bashfully. This was stupid. Before he could take it back she had already assented, and was snaking her arms around his neck.

Jax froze for a second, and then proceeded to quickly wrap his arms around her too. The embrace was awkward from their position on the ground, but they made it work. Pomni continued to whisper reassurances into his ear that only helped to make the tears fall faster. He didn’t deserve this kind of tender care, but she always went out of her way to try to help him and the others through things. She was kind, and that may have been just what Jax needed.

“You were the first person in the circus that made me feel real.” She confessed. Jax’s eyebrows shot up.

“Not even Ragatha?”

“Not even Ragatha.” She confirmed. “She was helpful, and made me feel welcomed, but she didn’t make me feel real like you did.”

Jax laughed wetly into her shoulder, “Why me?” He asked in disbelief.

She leaned back to look him in the eyes. He felt a faint blush rush over his cheeks at the intensity of her gaze, “You were never fake, and you told me things like they were. I really appreciated your honesty when you gave it to me, and…” She reached up to cup his cheeks with both hands this time, “keep it a secret from the others, but I appreciate hearing your opinions.”

If he wasn’t flushed before, he sure was now. Their faces were so close, if he just leaned forward a little they would.

Pomni moved first, leaning in and putting their mouths together. The kiss started soft, but moved to something more aggressive as they both fought for dominance. Jax moved one hand to the back of her head and put one on her waist.

They stayed at it for a couple of minutes before they had to break away to breathe, both panting for air. “So, does this mean we're friends again?” Jax laughed, twirling one of the strands of hair sticking out or her jester hat between his fingers.

She pushed him in the chest playfully, “God, I think it means more than that, no?”

As Pomni started to rub both of her thumbs across his cheeks to clear away any remaining tears, he put both hands on her waist and dragged them both up off the ground. She gasped a bit in surprise, but didn’t protest the movement. “We’ll have to see, PomPom.”

She burst into a fit of giggles, and he took her hand again, trying to find an exit that Caine probably left for them.

“Hey, Jax?” She said hesitantly from behind him.

“Yeah, Pom?”

“Can you promise me you’ll stop instigating?” He looked back and saw a look of hope in her mismatched pinwheel eyes, but also worry and insecurity.

Jax made another big decision at that moment. He decided that he never wanted to see a look like that in those eyes again. “Yeah, I’ll try.”

A genuine smile graced both of their faces.

Chapter Text

With a snap of Caine’s fingers, Pomni was teleported to a small room with bars at the far end almost akin to a prison cell. It was dark except for a ray of light that cast from outside of the barred side. Pomni stood up to check it out.

Outside of the metal bars, she saw 5 other identical cells to hers. The other circus members peered out from their respective ones and looked to the middle where a giant, colorful wheel with all of their faces on it lay flat. The wheel was lowered under the ground with a clear glass covering on top so they all had a good view of it.

Pomni looked around the room wearily. Caine hadn’t explained today's adventure yet like he usually does before whisking them away, so she didn’t really know what to expect. The others seemed unbothered, used to his antics by now, but Pomni didn’t like the atmosphere of this place. It was unlike any adventure they had been in before, where everything was colorful and bright. This place just felt… desolate.

She would think it was refreshing if not for the dread that pooled in her gut.

As if sensing her comprehension, Caine appeared floating in the middle of the room with a toothy smile. “Alright my little superstars! Are we ready for today's adventure?”

Groans echoed throughout the chamber and Caine’s grin only grew wider. “The response I expected, of course.” He tapped his finger on his cane impatiently. “You all haven’t seemed very satisfied with my adventures as of late, so I thought I’d try out something new.”

“That really isn’t necessary.” Ragatha spoke with a weak laugh. “We’ve been enjoying the suggestion box adventures. Why don’t we keep doing those?” Pomni agreed. The suggestion box adventures were infinitely less stressful than whatever Caine usually cooked up.

“Ah-” Caine seemed to glitch for a moment before coming back to himself. “You see, that’s the problem, my dear! For some reason, no one is enjoying my adventures, sooo I’ve decided to take some input from our lovely viewers to see what they think would interest you.” He flew upwards and raised his arms far above his head.

Now Bubble made his appearance right next to Gangle’s cell, startling her. She fell to the floor in her moment of shock and her comedy mask shattered with a glass sound effect that echoed up to the tall ceiling.

Bubble held a large video camera on his head with much effort and he shakily floated his way up to Caine. “You got it boss! The viewers are gonna love this!”

“W-wait viewers?” Pomni asked, her stomach dropping. Since when did they have viewers?

Caine came down level with her cell and tsked at her, “Oh Pomni, you ask too many questions.” He gave her a menacing look before flying back up to the center of the room. She gulped.

“The polls have all come in and the viewers’ choice is… oh, oh my…” Another glitch, Pomni was beginning to worry about that, “The viewers have chosen to have a randomly selected member of the circus get…” Caine’s eye’s blue screened for a moment before reverting to normal. “...Tortured.”

What.

They all erupted in chaos and protests. “What do you mean, Caine? Are you serious?” Zooble shouted, their hands tightly gripping the bars of their cell.

“You aren’t really going to go through with that, right?” Gangle called out meekly. If she wasn’t crying before, she definitely was now as a consistent flow of tears ran down her mask.

“This is ridiculous, but he’s right, maybe it will be more interesting.” Jax reasoned, but Pomni could tell even he was startled by the announcement by the slight twitch of his ear. He gave her a hard look, and, ah shoot, she had been caught staring.

They still hadn’t made up from their most recent fight after the gun fight adventure. Pomni knew he was bullshitting, that he actually cared, she just couldn’t prove it yet. She had determined shortly after that she was willing to fight for him though, until he eventually came to his senses.

Quickly averting her eyes, she looked back up to Caine who seemed to be reveling in their fear. Oh yeah, one of them was going to be tortured. Shit, this was bad.. “Alrighty! Let’s spin the wheel then, shall we?” Caine snapped his fingers once more, and the wheel below the glass started to spin wildly.

All of the circus members waited with baited breath as the wheel spun for what felt like forever. Pomni’s knees started to shake. She had already had enough torment in this digital world, would she be able to handle literal torture without abstracting.

The wheel began to slow, and it landed on… Pomni.

Before she even had time to react, she was teleported to the middle of the room with a pop of confetti exploding behind her. Pomni fell to the ground and looked around at the others who all looked relieved it hadn’t been them, but then there was Jax. He had this haunted look in his eyes and Pomni gave him a reassuring smile. She didn’t know if it was more for herself or him.

Caine came down and floated next to Pomni. He looked sinister in this lighting like she had never seen before and she felt herself begin to tremble a bit. “Congratulations my dear! You have been chosen!” An applause soundtrack played for a moment.

She just stared at him before whispering out, “Y-you aren’t really going to do this, right?”

Caine just smiled down at her before saying, “But of course! I’m tailoring my adventures to everyone’s liking. Now let's see what the viewers have voted on!” He manifested a large screen that showed the live broadcast with her frail body sat in the center as the focus. A live chat moved fast on the right hand side.

-this is so funny lmao

-Guys, Isn’t this kind of wrong. :(

-make her str1p!!!

-shes so scared omg lolllll

Pomni’s eyes widened at the chat and only now did it really dawn on her the kind of situation she was in. “It seems we’ve come to a consensus!” And with a snap of his fingers her jester clothes were gone.

All the others could do was stare in horror.

She gasped and was quick to try and cover herself as embarrassed tears welled up in her eyes. Although Caine was right beside her making it easy enough to fight back, she felt paralyzed. She couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything.

Ragatha shouted out something in protest, but Pomni couldn’t hear it over the buzzing in her ears. The next thing she knew Caine was in front of her tapping the side of her face which seemed to snap her out of her reverie. He seemed to look at her in fascination. She felt like she was going to vomit.

“The next vote has been decided on, my dear!” Caine waved his arms about energetically. All she could do in response was let out a sob. “Don’t get too excited.” He exclaimed, and now she was on a table arms and legs bound to each corner, completely exposed.

Her throat made an indiscernible noise of horror, and she started to aggressively tug at the restraints. “Ah, ah. None of that.” Caine said with a wag of his finger, and he summoned a small razor into his hand. She frantically leaned her head to look at what was on the screen.

-cut her open!

-Carve something on her pls.

-whore whore whore >:D

Pomni finally seemed to find her voice, “C-Caine, just think about this please.” She whined out.

He shook his head, clearly not going to budge on the matter. “The viewers have spoken, and I must provide.” With that, he leaned over her uncomfortably close. She could feel the breath from his huge teeth, warm on her arm as the blade made contact.

Pomni bit her lip and writhed as he started to carve something into her wrist which only prompted him to tightly take hold of her shoulder to make his canvas more steady. Her eyes squeezed shut and she felt more tears leak out as blood trickled down her skin and dripped onto the floor.

When Caine finished with her arm he leaned back and admired his handiwork. Hesitant to look, she turned her head and slowly opened her teary eyes. He had written three words: whore, slut, bitch.

Pomni choked out another sob, but before she could fully react Caine was already starting his next method of torture, branding.

As the hot metal touched her skin, her vision went white and she let out a guttural scream. The brand went from her hip to right below her armpit and covered half of her stomach. She felt the flesh under it melt and twist as Caine continued to push down.

When he finally raised the brand, Pomni gasped for breath and cried out as the metal pulled up pieces of skin that bubbled and peeled off. The brand left an ugly, red marking on her torso and she squirmed viciously in her restraints, not being able to do anything to soothe it.

After that, all of the different torture methods Caine tried blended togther. Pomni felt her tears dry as her mind started to wander. Her eyes went unfocused as her mind tried to find a way around the physical torment. Waterboarding, whipping, electric shock, and probably more, but she had lost track pretty quickly.

Pomni was almost certain at one point Caine had moved onto some more brutal means like ripping out her intestines. They couldn’t die in this world after all, so torture methods were endless. Who would’ve guessed? She may have felt her head get chopped off too, and as it rolled to the side, her eyes glazed over reflecting to the viewers her current state.

There was a slight commotion. Voices rose higher than they were before, and Pomni was proud she could even process that at the moment. There was a sheepish laugh from Caine, a final snap, and she was back in the colorful landscape of the circus.

She felt her head reattach first, then scars mend quickly over her frail shaken body. Every laceration and burn was mended, skin melting together with a painful twist. It all ended with a large white cloth floating down to drape over her still naked body.

There was nothing the others hadn’t already seen.

Pomni stared at the ground blankly, lost in her head. She wanted to think, but every time she did she was plagued with images of her mangled body. Her breath quickened and she felt like she was going to die all over again, the phantom pain of digital injuries itching her skin.

She really didn’t know how much longer she was going to last like this.

—-

What the hell was that, was all Jax could think as they all got teleported back to the circus. They had been forced to watch Pomni get tortured and ripped apart for the better half of 6 hours. At one point Jax felt rude to keep watching so he tucked himself away in the corner of his cell and stared at the wall instead.

What the hell.

And now here she lay in the middle of the group with nothing but a cloth to cover her. If Caine was capable of this, who's to say he wouldn’t keep it up for future adventures to come? What happened to being family friendly? What was with the strange chat he kept on mentioning too?

Let’s be real, Jax had always suspected that people were watching them fumble their way around this digital world, but he never expected his theories to be proven so easily. He didn’t even need to tempt Caine at all, and now it was just out there for them all to ruminate on.

Jax was the first to approach Pomni, Ragatha not far behind him, horror plain on both of their faces. They both came down to kneel in front of her, Jax analyzing to see how she was and Ragatha fussing with her hands waving around. “Pomni, I am so sorry. Caine has never done anything like this before. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” Ragatha spoke quickly, panic clear in her words.

Jax just rolled his eyes at her, and focused his attention on Pomni. It was clear to him that she was shaken, and when he saw the twisting spirals in her eyes, he felt his ears droop a fraction. From underneath the cloth one of her small hands came out and she gripped onto Jax’s wrist like a lifeline. Her fingers pressed into his skin enough to bruise, but he’d let her have it if it would ground her in the moment. He knew she would do the same for him if the time ever came.

For now all he knew was that he had to get her away from here, away from peering eyes.

He leaned close to her, so only she could hear, “Can I pick you up?” All he got from her was a blank stare. Shit. Jax knew she wouldn’t want to be seen like this in front of the others and as usual he seemed to be the only one who could keep himself composed after a traumatizing adventure.

To be fair none had been as traumatizing as this one until this point, but still.

No one else was going to take initiative, so he scooped Pomni up in his arms. She could yell at him later if she wanted to, he just knew he needed to get her to somewhere more secluded. “You coming or not?” He squinted down at Ragatha, not very partial to having the doll join them, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to help Pomni fully on his own.

“Ah- uh, of course!” Ragatha stumbled out, clearly eager to help Pomni. Despite this, she still eyed him wearily as she stood up and flattened out her dress. As if there were any wrinkles in it to begin with.

Jax suppressed another eye roll. He was already regretting inviting her.

The others looked like they had something they wanted to say in their still shocked states, except for Kinger maybe, he never really had much going on up there. Nonetheless, Jax sent them all a hard look daring them to speak.

Gangle sniffled and flinched away from his glare. If it were under any other circumstances Jax would’ve made a comment about it, but he had other things to worry about. Zooble just shrugged as they patted Gangle on the back. An attempt to act nonchalant in front of their partner. Lame. Lastly, just as Jax had suspected, Kinger made no reaction. He seemed to be off in his own world staring at the ceiling lights with no thoughts at all.

Now that he knew no one was going to interrupt them, he started walking briskly towards Pomni’s room, trusting that Ragatha would take the hint and follow behind him.

They got to her room, and Jax unlocked the door with the key he had stolen and copied not too long ago. He felt Pomni was still unmoving as he sat her on the edge of the bed. “This is where you come in doll face.”

Ragatha jumped a little at Jax breaking the silence that had fallen over them since they started walking. “How so?” She queried, and Jax wanted to punch her for just… looking stupidly at him, he didn’t know.

He pinched his eyebrows and sighed loudly, “I can’t help her get dressed and I also can’t look at some of the wounds I’m sure because they’re in certain areas.” Jax looked at her trying to get the point across without fully saying it and Ragatha’s eyes lit up in recognition.

“Oh, right! I’ll help her with that. You just…” Ragatha gave a gesture for him to turn around and he complied. He had seen enough today.

He heard Ragatha behind him shifting around. “We’re gonna have to take this off. Is that okay?” She started. No response. “That’s alright. Take your time, we’re here for you.”

They waited a few minutes in silence, but Jax was nothing if not impatient. “Jeez, Rags. This is gonna take forever if you wait for her.” Waving his arms around, he turned to see that she had made no progress.

“Oh yeah? Well forcing her to do things won’t be very helpful either, now will it?” She spat back, clearly done with dealing with his abrasive attitude. Took her long enough to grow a backbone.

“What do you know about shock patients?” He quipped.

“More than you apparently! Rushing her will only make things worse.” Ragatha stood up and walked over to face him. Jax stared down his nose at her and clenched his fists so hard his fingers dug little indents on his gloves.

There was a sudden whimper behind them and they both whipped their heads to the side to see Pomni staring up at them, slightly more lucid, with tears streaming down her face. Ragatha was quick to drop her anger as she rushed back over to Pomni’s side. Jax looked away from them ears low with shame.

They’d forgotten to pay attention to what was most important in the moment, and now she was a sobbing mess on her bed. At least she was responsive.

Ragatha fussed over Pomni, putting a palm to her face and wiping away some of her tears with her thumb. Pomni was choking on her own breath in an attempt to calm herself, and Ragatha muttered sweet words of reassurance. Jax felt extremely out of his element. “Well! It looks like old Ragatha’s got everything all under control now. I’m gonna head out then.”

As he started making his way towards Pomni’s door, a strangled “No, don’t”, stopped him in his steps. He stopped for a moment, debating if he should act like he didn’t hear anything, but thought better of it and turned around. He was glad he did because the sight that greeted him made his heart surge with an intense feeling of acceptance.

Pomni sat half off the bed with her arm outstretched, Ragatha helping her keep her balance. Her eyes shone with something Jax didn’t want to dig into right now, and he knew he shouldn’t anyways. Not at this moment. At this moment, Pomni needed a middle ground. She needed someone who only knows how to please, and someone who can tell it to her how it is.

Jax could be the abrasive rock to contrast Ragatha’s smooth edges. He didn’t realize how much he wanted to be depended on until this moment.

He walked back over to them and sat next to Pomni on her bed, reaching out a hand for her to take which she gratefully did. Her tears had slowed down now, and she stared up at him with her big multicolored eyes.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” He asked, looking between the both of them.

Ragatha opened her mouth, but to their surprise, Pomni spoke first. “I… I want to get into clothes and have my… wounds checked out.” She seemed hesitant to acknowledge the fact that the adventure happened, but the fact that she was talking at all was already a huge improvement.

“Okay. I can do that. Do you uh… mind turning around again Jax?” Jax let go of Pomni’s hand with some hesitance, and went to the other side of the room with his back to them. This time, he heard rustling of fabric and soft words being exchanged.

It didn’t take them long at all to get Pomni into clothes, and before he knew it there was a soft tap on his shoulder. He turned and saw Ragatha who was still smiling, but held a disturbed look in her gaze. Jax looked past her to Pomni and saw what made her react like that.

They should’ve expected it in hindsight.

Pomni was now wearing a plain white tanktop with black shorts Jax was sure were both courtesy of Caine for facing the most recent adventure. They usually weren’t given clothing outside of their usual circus garb, but it seems Caine made an exception for this. It was kind of sick when Jax thought about it. Was this all planned?

That wasn’t the disturbing part though. All of the parts of Pomni’s body that were visible were marred with deep red scars and bubbled burn marks that laid a stark contrast to her pale skin. He was certain they went under her clothes too, but he felt he shouldn’t pry.

“Are you going to keep staring?” Pomni snapped defensively, but seemed to instantly regret it as she let out a huff of air and her eyes watered a little. “Just… get the medkit on the bottom shelf of my wardrobe.” She looked away, almost ashamed of having to ask for help.

As Ragatha went to go grab the medkit, Jax approached Pomni, “Hey, no shame in needing a bit of help. Doesn’t make you any less mature.”

She grumbled at that, and Ragatha walked back over medkit in hand to back him up. “He’s right Pomni. It’s okay to ask for help. I know that’s hard for you.” Jax nodded along sagely, as he went to sit besides Pomni again. To his surprise, she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes in thought.

“I feel like I’m making you. I would do this on my own if I had the energy.” She griped.

“You aren’t making us. We want to help you, Pomni. Especially after everything you’ve done to help us.” Ragatha opened the burn cream container and grabbed one of Pomni’s arms gently. She started to spread the ointment over the wound, and Pomni shivered at the contact.

“Well-” Pomni sucked in through her teeth as Ragatha went over a particularly sore spot, “I still feel like a burden. You shouldn’t have to do this.” Ragatha paused her movements and looked up at Pomni, stumped on how to get through to the girl. She took one of her tiny hands in hers, and rubbed her thumb over Pomni’s palm.

This is where he comes in. “Listen, you may think it’s stupid and that you’re a burden or whatever, but it’s gonna take more than that to make us go away.” Jax said with a shit eating smirk. Pomni and Ragatha looked up at him in disbelief. He had thought the same way as her for a long time in the circus, but maybe, just maybe, it was time for all of them to let their walls down.

Jax played with Pomni’s hand in the silence he created, and Ragatha went back to work. A few minutes passed, and Pomni spoke, “Thank you.”

It was simple, but it meant more to both of them than Pomni would ever know. Ragatha smiled in contentment and started humming as she grabbed bandages and began to wrap Pomni up where she could. Jax felt a real smile tug at his lips and he let go of Pomni’s hand to instead start playing with her hair.

This caused Pomni to shift and her head fell from Jax’s shoulder to his chest. Her face burned red, but she didn’t say anything, instead staying as still as she could so as to not ruin the moment.

Once Ragatha was done, Pomni allowed herself to fall into the rabbits lap and closed her eyes. Jax knew she needed this, so he ignored the way his face flushed and the knowing look Ragatha gave him, and allowed her to have this win.

Ragatha moved to Jax’s other side, and laid down exhausted with her arms spread out across the bed. “C’mon Raggy, no need to take up the whole bed.” Jax complained.

“There’s plenty of room for all of us.” Pomni muttered from his lap.

“She’s right. Don’t be so stubborn, and just sleep.” Ragatha encouraged.

Ugh. How could he say no to them?

He laid down next to Ragatha and placed Pomni between them, hugging her tightly to his chest. Pomni stiffened a little, surprised by Jax’s sudden boldness, but as they laid there she started to relax again. Ragatha turned towards them and tucked a stray hair behind Pomni’s ear, rubbing her thumb on Pomni’s cheek before closing her eyes to go to sleep.

Pomni followed soon after, he could tell by the way her breaths evened out underneath his arms. He stared at them both for a moment in thought, then closed his eyes too.

Hopefully he wouldn’t regret this tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Pomni was standing in front of him, arms crossed with a concerned look on her face. She had pulled him aside from the group and her brown eyes bore into him which left him with no room to escape.

Brown, not a symmetrical mix of red and blue, he had to remind himself.

All of the members of the Circus had escaped their virtual hell and were now in its real world counterpart. In all seriousness, Jax was glad that they escaped. He’d much rather face the consequences of a world he understood than a world he was barely able to wrap his head around after being stuck in there for five years. After they all found each other, they had decided to keep in touch and even arranged monthly meetings at a cafe about an hour away from all of them.

It would have been ideal if Jax had a car, but he didn’t. Instead, he opted to biking the whole way, up a busy highway and numerous busy roads just to see them all there. Sue him, he missed them.

However, it was also how he’d gotten himself into this current predicament, with Pomni blocking his path after he exited the bathroom. Maybe if he hadn’t shown up, maybe if he hadn’t been so soft despite the bravado he flaunted on the outside, and he decided to never talk to them again he wouldn’t be here right now.

But he was, and Pomni seemed to get more impatient by the second.

“Well?”

“Um, what?” What had she asked again?

Pomni sighed, “Why do you have bruises up your arms?” It was a bit aggressive in the way she asked it, but Jax knew it was just from her growing concern if the way she pursed her lips was any indication. Jax tugged at his sleeves and pulled them halfway over his hands. He realized now, he must not have been paying attention to them when they were all sat down. They probably started riding up and Pomni noticed the discoloration. He hoped none of the others were as perceptive as her.

“I don’t know. I fell or something.” Jax said noncommittally. Pomni’s eyebrows furrowed further.

He knew he couldn’t tell her the truth. He’d been looking for a trusted adult, friend, or virtually anyone to help him with his situation since he was ten, and no one had come in to swoop him off his feet yet. Jax wasn’t expecting Pomni to be the person to do it now, not after the beating he received last time he’d involved someone. Believe it or not he didn’t want to lose her like he’d lost so many others to his shitty excuse of a father.

Jax glanced down at Pomni one more time before going to move past her, but she was smaller and faster and grabbed onto his arm before he could make his retreat. He flinched slightly at the contact as she unbeknowingly squeezed a particularly tender bruise that had cut open a bit. Nothing ever escaped Pomni’s eyes, and used this brief moment of pause from him to roll the jacket sleeve up to his elbow.

She gaped at what she saw. Jax didn’t understand the reaction, she was only proving what she already knew to be true.

“Tripped and fell my ass. Jax, please talk to me.” Pomni practically begged. “I thought we were done with hiding things since we got out. If something’s going on, we can help you.”

That was exactly the problem though. He knew if he told them about his home life they would all jump into action and try to play the hero because that’s just the kind of people they were. However, he did also promise to be more truthful, a promise he did intend on keeping.

While stuck at a crossroad and fighting in his internal dialogue, Pomni gently pulled his sleeve back down, careful not to aggravate any of the wounds, and said the very thing he didn’t want to hear. Something he’d heard from numerous school guidance councilors over the years, “Is something going on at home?”

It was a simple sentence, but that was all she needed to say for him to be sent back to those bright rooms, not too dissimilar to the Circus, with posters that had motivational sayings covering the walls. To say the least, he snapped.

“Shut up.”

“What?”

“I said shut up!” Jax ripped his arm out of her grasp and stormed out of the cafe. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the others getting out of the booth to help the situation after hearing his outburst, but they settled down almost immediately. Probably Pomni’s doing. He didn’t care.

Jax swung open the glass door leading to the outside, and the stupid bell above it cried out when he slammed it behind him. It was raining outside because of course it was, but that didn’t stop him from going to get his bike at the far end of the parking lot. He put his hood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. Behind him, he heard the bell chime again, albeit much softer this time as the person who he assumed was Pomni, followed him out.

“Jax, I didn’t want to make this a big deal, but you’re kind of making it one.” Pomni shouted out, annoyance clear in the cadence of her voice. He heard her footsteps pattering against the wet pavement as she ran to catch up to him and grimaced.

He really didn’t want to deal with this right now. Especially after everything he did to her in the circus, she shouldn’t have to put up with any more torment as his hands. Even if it wouldn’t necessarily be his fault this time. It would be from the one who taught him to act this way in the first place, and that was somehow worse to him.

His stomach twisted in discomfort. At least, unlike his old man, he knew when to stop. He didn’t want to see the consequences of bringing new rabbits into the lion's den.

“Hello? Are you just going to ignore me?” Pomni had caught up to him and was pacing beside him trying to get his attention. He walked faster. “Ugh, Jax. Was it something I said? I have ways to help you if you’ll just tell me what’s going on.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re extremely nosy?” Jax drawled out. If she wasn’t going to leave him alone, he could at least have some fun with her. “I think people might like you more if you’d just lay off a bit.”

They got to his bike, and he was just about ready to get on it and leave before Pomni rushed to it first and grabbed the handle bars. “I’m not letting you leave until you’re real with me.” Her eyes held a challenge, one he didn’t have the current mental capacity to face.

Anger rushed through his body, and at that moment he felt himself truly understand the saying ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’. “You think you need to know everything about me. Well. You. Don’t. You haven’t had much character development since we left either Poms. You’re still trying to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong even though I’m just trying to protect you from the mess that is my life.”

By the end Jax was shaking and heaving. When he tried to take a deep breath, he found he couldn’t. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground in his rain soaked clothes unable to breathe as questions bounced viciously through his head. What if he couldn’t protect them from the man that hurt him? How would they react if they knew? Would they pity him or roll their eyes and move on? What if they thought he was overreacting?

He vaguely remembered Pomni kneeling beside him, and grabbing his hands in hers. She squeezed them slowly and rhythmically. As she did that, he saw her mouth moving to say something, but he couldn’t tell what it was over the ringing in his ears. He closed his eyes as tight as he could until he saw stars when he opened them again.

Looking up at Pomni now as he felt his breath slowing, he saw for the first time the genuine concern that painted her features. It’s something that followed her out of the circus. Something that he knew he could always rely on. Something he admired.

His breath was fully slowed down now, and he could finally make out what she was saying, “It’s going to be okay. We care about you. We just want you to be safe.” He felt tears well up in his eyes, but refused to let them fall. That’s all it was about for her, always making sure others were okay above all else. She was an empath to a fault.

Oftentimes he saw that as naivete, something that would hurt in the long run, but with her he was beginning to see it as something that would save him from his current situation. It was a dangerous gambit, one that could land them both in a lot of shit, but he saw the earnest look in her eyes and found he couldn’t say no to her. Even if he wanted to, he was certain she wouldn’t take it for an answer anyways.

“It was your dad, wasn't it?” A new voice joined from behind, soft resentment coating her voice, but Jax knew that for the first time, it wasn’t directed at him. He looked around Pomni, to see Ragatha standing with her perfect posture and a flowy cornflower blue sundress. Over her red head of perfectly coiled hair she held a fancy looking blue and white umbrella, and her eyes held a look of deep concern akin to Pomni’s, but also understanding.

Pomni could empathize all she wanted, but Jax could see in Ragatha’s eyes that she knew better than anyone the pain of having a parent that doesn’t want you. He also recalled a time right after he’d joined the Circus and was still out of it when Ragatha had been his shoulder to lean on. Though he didn’t fully remember what was said, he had spilled his guts to her on numerous occasions when he had first arrived. He still regretted doing it.

“Yeah.” Was all he could manage to get out. He was certain it sounded dumb, but Ragatha nodded in understanding.

“So… Jax. How long has this been happening?” Pomni started, clearly nervous to address the sensitive topic.

“Since I was eight.” They both seemed to wince at that.

“Can you move out?” It was a simple question, one that had plagued him for years before he entered the circus and made him insurmountably excited for his eighteenth birthday. Unfortunately, that day was spent trapped in a separate hell called the Amazing Digital Circus, so there wasn’t much to look forward to afterall.

Jax willed himself to suppress an eyeroll. He was aware they were just trying to help, but he was still bitter at the thought. His most fundamental years of his life had been ripped away from him. How else was he supposed to react?

“I could hypothetically, but my old man won’t be too happy. I also don’t have anywhere to go.” As if sensing his upset, Pomni squeezed his hand tight. He had forgotten they were still doing that, holding hands he means. He looked down at it dumbly. “It’s kind of hard to have money saved when you’ve never had a job before getting trapped, and no close family other than a deadbeat to help you get by.”

“Why does he want you to stay?” Ragatha asked, confusion painted her features as she wrung her hands nervously. The umbrella tilted dangerously close to getting her wet, but she maneuvered it in a graceful way so not a drop hit her.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jax glanced down to his arms that were still covered by his soaking wet sleeves, but now they all knew what lay beneath. “I’m his punching bag, and he counts that as enough payment to keep me around.”

Pomni started playing with his fingers with a sorrowful look on her face. “You could always come live with me.”

Jax reeled back. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. He couldn’t drag her and Ragatha further into this mess than he already did. Although she was giving him the out he was looking for, he wasn’t that selfish. “Hey, it’s not that ba-”

“Your arms are bruised to hell and back, and we probably haven’t seen the full extent of it. It’s clear that you’re not doing okay.” Pomni deadpanned. Her face was streaked with raindrops, and her bangs stuck to her forehead. The rest of her hair was a sopping mess behind her. He wondered how shoddy he looked in comparison.

Ragatha began to stand, and if she noticed how horribly wet they both were, she didn’t indicate it. “It’s nonnegotiable. We’re going to get your stuff.” She clutched the umbrella a little harder. “I’m gonna go tell the others that were leaving.” When a look of slight panic crossed Jax’s features, she softened her voice and said, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell them why we’re going. I just don’t want to leave them hanging.”

With that she plastered her typical smile on her face, and briskly started to walk back to the cafe. He noticed the similarity between him and her almost immediately, and regretted not reaching out to her more. He made a note not to be as hard on her in the future.

Before Ragatha made it too far from them, she turned around with a quiet “Oh!”. She rounded back and handed Pomni her car keys, “Mine’s the red SUV right over there,” she pointed to a pristinely kept, expensive looking car, “Just so that you guys don’t have to sit out here in the rain.” And with that she was gone.

Turning back to Pomni, he put back on a smile of his own, “Not getting out of this one am I?” Fear gnawed at him, but he refused to let it show. Pomni seemed to see it anyway. When had she gotten so good at reading him?

“We’re going to help you. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore.” She emphasized her point with another squeeze of the hand, and he swore his heart skipped a beat.

“Right.” Was all he could respond with. He felt choked up for some reason. Maybe it was because this was the first time someone had truly taken the time to make a change in his life. Schools tried, but always had ulterior motives. He could vividly recall a time he threw away his pride and did go to ask for help just for them to throw it back in his face and call his dad. That had not been a fun night.

Pomni stood up and dragged him with her in one swift movement. Jax picked up his bike before they shuffled over to Ragatha’s car, Pomni continuing to hold Jax’s hand all the while. They shoved his bike in the trunk, and to Jax’s surprise it actually fit. Pomni let him take shotgun with little argument, and she hopped in the back seat.

He felt a little bad about getting Ragatha’s car seats wet, but there wasn’t much they could do with no towels. Little time had passed and Ragatha rushed into the driver’s seat to avoid the rain and shut the car door as quick as she could, throwing her umbrella in the back of the car by Pomni.

Ragatha looked at Jax with utter compassion and said one last thing before they embarked, “Are you ready for this?”

He sucked in his dread and allowed the mask to fall for a moment of weakness. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

—

Jax unlocked the door to his dad’s apartment with the spare key he was given. His arms shook with anticipation, but he knew his dad wouldn’t do anything rash with guests in the house.

At least he hoped he wouldn’t.

He walked in as quiet as he could, Pomni and Ragatha flanking behind him on both sides. Their presence was very appreciated. The house was trashed to say the least. There were filled garbage bags lining the entrance, old yellow wallpaper fraying from the walls, and a random assortment of objects strewn about the floors. Jax was positive it smelled rancid by the looks Pomni and Ragatha made when they entered, but he couldn’t tell. If it did, it was a smell he had already gotten used to again after moving back in seven months ago.

The hope was that his dad was out, so they could take all of Jax’s belongings and pack them in Ragatha’s car before he could say anything about it. Unfortunately, his father was a homebody, so when they walked past the living room, a horrid stench of beer and bed rot invaded their senses.

“Dylan, ‘s that you?” His voice called out, booming despite only being a room’s length away. Pomni and Ragatha were quick to try to move in front of him and play damage control, but he held both arms out to stop them. Pomni looked about ready to deck the man sitting on the couch, and Ragatha stared wide eyed at Jax with fear and worry. He may have brought them into the lion’s den, but that didn’t mean he expected them to face the lion.

Jax tried to usher them both towards his room, so he could deal with the issue at hand, but they held steadfast, feet planted firm. It was then he realized they had come fully prepared. They wanted to face his dad. They wanted to help him.

His heart surged, but it was short lived as his dad stood up. “What? Are ya not gonna respond to me?” His dad stepped around their beat up coffee table, and Jax’s heart dropped as he started to approach. “And who are these guests you brought over?”

“Dad, you’re drunk.”

“Yer not answerin’ my questions.” He said forebodingly. At this point, they were only four feet from his dad, and he towered over all of them in all of his beer belly glory.

Jax sucked in a deep breath and out of the corner of his eye saw Pomni’s hand twitch to reach for his. “I’m moving out.”

The apartment was dead silent for a moment, then chaos.

His dad was suddenly up in his face with a finger pointed at his chest in a menacing manner. “Are ya that ungrateful to me that ya leave here for seven years. Seven! Ya come back, then all of a sudden ya just think ya can pack up and leave?”

“I don’t think that, sir.” Jax let out monotonously.

“It’s really unfair that you’re not letting him leave. Especially after how you’ve treated him.” Pomni’s voice was sharper than Jax had ever heard it. He would’ve loved to see the look on her face, but was too scared to turn his attention away from the man in front of him.

His dad started walking forward now, finger pushing Jax back against the nearest wall. “So now we're telling others about our little secret” Jax was frozen with fear. It was one thing for this to happen when it was just them in the house, but Pomni and Ragatha were right there. What would he do to them once he was done with him?

“I told ya not to tell others about what goes on here Jax. This is family business. It’s meant to stay between us.” There was something dangerous in his dad’s eyes that Jax didn’t like. It made him feel trapped. He felt his chest tighten, and the constriction did nothing to help his already frayed nerves. “Now ya go running your mouth, and look at where it gets us.”

His father was absolutely seething now, faces mere inches apart. Jax expected the hand raise before he saw it and he flinched back, but contact never came. When he opened his eyes he saw his dad’s smug face.

“See!” His dad turned with a wobble to Ragatha and Pomni now who seem unsure what to do. “He’s acting! I’ve never laid a hand on him. Ya should leave so I can handle this accordingly.” The words were slurred and unpleasant to hear. Jax’s body shook all over, and he felt hot and cold at the same time.

“We didn’t come here to start a fight.” Ragatha, ever the peacekeeper, put her hands up in a placating manner. “We just want to grab some stuff then we’ll be out of your hair.”

With that Jax decided it was time for them to start grabbing stuff. He gestured to Pomni and Ragatha to follow him down the hall to his room. He plastered a huge smile on his face. Just like the good old days.

“Yeah, like she said we’ll be out of your hair in just a second!” Jax tried to come off joyous, he was sure he just sounded terrified as his voice shook over the syllables.

He started walking towards the beaten door when- “Agh!”

Jax whipped his head around, and his dad wore a toothier grin than before, knowing he had struck gold when he saw the blatant fear in Jax’s eyes. “Let go of me!” Pomni writhed under his grip on her arm. Ragatha stood between it all with a panicked look on her face. It may not have been clear to any other person that didn’t have to deal with him their whole life, but Jax could tell from where he was that the grip he had definitely wasn’t soft.

“Let me say this one more time.” His dad gripped Pomni’s wrist harder, ignoring her protests. “I never laid a hand on the kid. Yer not leaving.”

Jax stood there shocked, unsure of what to do. His whole body shook and he felt the beginnings of a panic attack take hold of his lungs. They clenched tightly around the air he sucked in. He reached his hand up to clutch at his chest as his vision started blurring around the edges. This is exactly what he didn’t want to happen. They were going to get hurt because of him again. He didn’t care if they wanted to face the lion, they shouldn’t have to. Why was everything always his fau-

A loud slap echoed through the hallway and Jax felt himself flinch away from the sound. Fear grabbed at him, and he found he was afraid to look up, but he forced himself to anyway. What he saw was a sight he never thought possible.

Ragatha stood next to his father, a viscous grip on his forearm and other arm raised with her hand out… because she had just slapped him. The hesitant, polite persona she held not even five minutes ago was wiped from her features, and was replaced by pure unbridled anger. His dad was quick to let go of Pomni, and pulled back to try and nurse his sore cheek, but Ragatha held firmly onto his arm clearly not done with him.

“Are you crazy?” His dad shrieked out as Pomni rushed away from the situation to stand next to Jax with wide eyes. It was only now they both noticed how strong Ragatha looked next to the feeble old man. They may have all been skin and bones when they finally escaped the Circus, but it seemed Ragatha had been working hard to gain some muscle back on the farm.

“You don’t get to choose what he does anymore.” Ragatha all but shouted in his face, and the man cowered before her. “We are going to get his stuff-” She heaved, punctuating each word to make sure the point got across, “-and he’s never going to see you again if he doesn’t want to. We’re not buying your lies, and you won’t lay another hand on him, understood?”

“Y-yes.” His dad trembled in a way that Jax had never seen before. It was clear to him that Ragatha was projecting, but maybe it's what they both needed in the moment. He really couldn’t find it in him to care, he was just glad it was working.

Like she was never upset in the first place, the masking smile he saw earlier showed through again and he made a mental note to ask her about that later. “Alright! Now that that’s settled, let’s go grab everything.” She brushed past Pomni and Jax into his room, and they followed dumbly after her.

“Sooo, are we gonna talk about that?” Pomni poked around his room.

“No.” Jax and Ragatha both immediately said in unison. He smiled knowingly at her and she returned it sheepishly.

They all had trauma, Jax realized. That’s why they were so willing to help. For the first time he started to think, maybe facing things alone to protect others wasn’t how it was supposed to be done. Maybe, just maybe, he could start to rely on them, and with that they could all begin to overcome their issues.

Chapter Text

Ragatha’s head really hurt.

Blinking open her eyes, she wasn’t sure what she had expected, but it definitely wasn’t this. She was in a dimly lit room made of mostly wood, with crates and trinkets strewn about the floor. There were tiny circular windows lining the highest part of the walls letting slivers of light in. She smelled a faint whiff of salt in the air.

When she tried to move she found that she was bound to the large pole by a thick rope. Panic gripped her, but she took a deep breath trying to keep optimistic. She would be fine! This was just one of Caine’s adventures. Of course the pirates they were after had to kidnap someone. That was just part of the code Caine set up.

She just had to find out where she was and how to get out.

After another deep breath, Ragatha tried to reach her foot out to snatch any of the objects on the floor to help her only to find that one of her legs was ripped open by her upper thigh and had a trail of stuffing flooding out of it. She winced, but chose to ignore it for now. It definitely stung, but worse things had happened to her in the Circus. She’d be fine.

Reaching out her intact leg, her foot barely made contact with a stray fork when the ground violently tilted beneath her and anything that could’ve helped her slid to the right side of the floor. She grunted as the ropes dug into her skin as her body tried to go with gravity.

It was then she realized she was on a boat. The evil pirates’ boat that they had to take down for the adventure. Which was in the middle of the sea where the others couldn’t get to her until they finished the adventure.

Ragatha, now realizing the extent of her situation, started pulling at the rope in a desperate attempt to escape. She knew realistically most of the NPCs Caine created weren’t violent, but recently they had been getting more aggressive and she did not want to be on the receiving end of one of their wrath.

“Ugh, could you quit pulling the rope? You’re not getting anywhere y’know?” A peeved voice came from the other side of the pole, and Ragatha felt immediate relief despite the person on the other side. She knew they hadn’t been getting along these past few… well the past few years, but maybe this could be their chance to turn that around with a bit of teamwork.

“Jax? Is that you?”

“Who else would it be, Dollface?” He emphasized with a tug of the ropes that squeezed at her chest.

Ragatha grunted softly at the pressure, and since she couldn’t glare in a way Jax could see, she had to settle for staring at the floor. “Do you remember what happened?”

“Geez, is your memory going or something? The pirates got us.”

She rolled her eyes, “Well yes, but how?”

A scoff, “If you can’t remember, then maybe you don’t deserve to know.”

That was it. If he wasn’t going to put in the same effort she was, then she wasn’t going to be nice either. “Jax! Can’t you cooperate with me for just a second so we can get out of here. Neither of us wa-”

A large bang sounded above and more light flooded into the basement area they were being kept in. Ragatha flinched away from the light as she was facing towards the source. Three NPC sharks dressed as pirates waddled down the stairs. “Can you lot keep it down?” The largest one that Ragatha presumed was the captain shouted.

When they got to the bottom the large one looked briefly at Jax before his gaze settled on Ragatha. The predatory look he gave her made her skin crawl.

She was surprised Jax hadn’t said anything yet. Usually he’d take any opportunity he could get to anger those around him, but now he sat behind her stock still. She wondered if he finally realized the extent of the situation they were in and was finally deciding to take things seriously.

“I’ll lay it on ya.” The sharks approached, one of the smaller henchmen swirled his tongue around a toothpick he was gnawing on menacingly while staring down Ragatha. “We’ll let ya go if ya tell us where those friends a’ yours are. If you don’t tell us though…” The larger one’s face was now mere inches from hers. She could smell his putrid breath as he leaned in, “we may have to resort to drastic measures, if ya know what I’m saying.”

Ragatha didn’t know what to do. She knew the others were somewhere in the city searching for materials and weapons to defeat the pirates, but she technically didn’t know exactly where they were. She knew she didn’t want to sell out her friends, that would ruin the adventure. However, finding out what ‘drastic measures’ meant wasn’t exactly something she was looking forward to either.

Jax’s voice rung out behind her, and she took a deep breath of fresh sea air as the shark leaned away from her to go over to him. “We don’t know where they are. Even if we did, how do we know you’re telling the truth about letting us go?”

“We can’t prove anything.” The shark shrugged. “If ya don’t wanna tell us, it’s your loss not ours.” The two henchmen laughed, and Ragatha whipped her head around for anything that could help her cut the rope.

That was until, the large shark was back on her side and he swiftly gripped her chin. His hold was hard enough to bruise, that is if she was still in her human body. When she tried to pull away, he held tighter.

“I’ll ask you’s one more time. Where are your friends?”

“I-I don’t know.” Ragatha finally muttered out pathetically past the squeeze of her cheeks. It wasn’t technically a lie. How was she supposed to know where they went after she and Jax got kidnapped?

She felt Jax shift behind her, “They toootally left the island already. You guys should stop looking and just let us go. It’s a lost cause.” He griped, which prompted the lackey with the toothpick to come up to him and kick him in the stomach. Jax sputtered behind Ragatha and it was confirmed that these NPCs really weren’t joking.

“Tsk, well my patience is spent. Jordie, Pablo, do whatever ya need to. I’ll be upstairs waiting.” With that, the captain gave Ragatha’s cheeks one last squeeze, and went back up the stairs. The door shut behind him and the room was enveloped in dingy lighting once more.

Ragatha glared up at the two sharks that were now approaching. “Uhm, Jax? Any idea how to get out of this one?” She asked, somewhat desperately.

“Tough luck, Rags. I don’t have anything on me.” Jax spat out. He almost sounded genuine for a moment if she looked past his bad attitude. She didn’t have much time to process it before the toothpick shark, who apparently went by Pablo, stabbed a wooden stake into her already torn leg without warning.

Her vision turned white with pain and her ears rung. She faintly heard a yell, and when she came back to reality she realized it had been her own. “H-hey, we can still talk this out.” She choked out past a sob she didn’t realize she was holding in.

“What’s going on back there?” Jax sounded neutral, but she had known him long enough to know he was trying to keep it together.

Jordie and Pablo decided to twist the stake further in response. Ragatha felt like she was going to throw up. Her whole body shook with pain, and she groaned with every twist and movement of the wood splintering into her leg.

“Ragatha?” Jax’s voice came from behind her, now at her lack of a response, failing to hide his true feelings. Jax was actually talking to her? She thought deliriously. That’s weird he only did that before Ribbit… Oh, she must actually be in trouble.

Her thoughts wandered rapidly as the stake drove in further, and the sharks leaned in together, “Last chance Dolly. Where are they?” Jordie whispered with a gravelly voice into her ear. The sound of his voice processed slowly through the haze in her head, and she blinked up into his beady eyes with blurry ones returning his gaze.

“I really… don’t know.” Ragatha grunted out.

“Then I guess you’re both useless to us, huh?” Ragatha did not want to know what happened to people they considered useless, but she was afraid she was about to.

“Pablo, you get the rabbit.” Jordie gestured over to Jax, and Pablo groaned loudly.

“Why do you always get the ladies? I want to have a try at them too.” He stomped his foot to accentuate his upset. She pursed her lips at the way they were talking about her while she was right there. Although that was probably the least of her problems, she feared it indicated something more.

“Fine. Let’s just share her then, and leave the rabbit to listen. Sounds like a good idea, yeah?” Jordie compromised.

Pablo nodded his head eagerly and Jax protested behind her.

They both came onto her at once in one swift movement, not even giving her time to react. Pablo grabbed the stake in her leg for balance as he leaned in and smashed his mouth against hers. Ragatha was quick to turn her head away, “Wh- what’s wrong with you!?” She sputtered out in shock, but he seemed to take that as an invitation to mimic what his boss did earlier and grabbed her cheeks and forced her to comply.

Jordie wasn’t shy either. He started eagerly rubbing his hands up and down her body, gripping at rather sensitive spots. She involuntarily groaned when he put his knee between her legs which led to Pablo gaining access to the inside of her mouth.

They swapped back and forth like that for a while, and she felt her mind drift. She couldn’t do anything to stop them with her arms tied and her legs pinned beneath the two sharks. The feeling of pain in her leg disappeared, along with the mouth that lapped into hers, and the hands that grabbed too much. She felt numb. Her body wasn’t hers anymore.

Would she always be a pawn for others? Was that her only use, to be manipulated by those more powerful than her for their own bidding? Why would Caine make NPCs…

Wait, she forgot about Caine.

Past the fog in her mind, she vaguely heard Jax shout. “Stop! God, what the hell is happening. Stop it!” His voice sounded panicked, so unlike what she was used to that it brought her back. Her senses returned, and she felt everything all at once again. This prompted her to bite Pablo's lip causing him to fall backwards, hands shooting up to his bloodied mouth. Jordie glared at her and probed harder.

“Caine! Caine we need you please..” Ragatha gasped out with desperation. Jordie’s hand quickly shot up to cover her mouth and her shouts muffled into it.

Jax seemed to catch the memo, and started shouting for Caine too. Pablo ran to his side of the pole, “They’ve lost their minds Jordie. We’ve gotta get out of here or else the Captain’s gonna flip.” He ran his hand over his fin in exasperation.

“Just one moment lad.” Jordie started to untie his pants and Ragatha’s eyes widened, her heart rate picking up as fear gripped her.

Before Jordie could get very far, Caine appeared in the middle of the room and took in what he had created. “Well what’s going on he-” His jaw dropped comically low, and he was quick to snap his fingers. Both Jordie and Pablo exploded into confetti, and Ragatha let her shoulders fall in relief.

“What took you so long? I was calling you for like fifteen minutes.” Back to his normal attitude, Jax glared at Caine in his best attempt at fury he could muster while being tied up and vulnerable. Ragatha could do nothing but stare at the floor in disbelief.

Caine rung his hands nervously, “Well, I was out at a lovely diner with Bubble, and it’s rude to leave in the middle of a meal…” He trailed off then as if realizing for the first time they were still bound. He shook his head and quickly snapped the ropes out of existence. Jax stood up, but Ragatha stayed seated, her hair a mess and bow off center.

“I would like to apologize for the slight aggression of the NPCs. I’ll have to review the AI for them one more time.” His eyes darted back and forth. “Anyways, bye.” Caine disappeared in a hurry and left them in silence.

“Agh, what the f!@#!” Jax yelled and kicked one of the crates in irritation. Ragatha flinched minutely at the motion, but otherwise made no indication that she had processed it at all. Despite that Jax saw it and deflated. If he kept noticing stuff like that she was going to start to think he didn’t totally hate her.

Jax moved over to her and she felt her body tense as he sat about two feet in front of her with his hands on his lap. “You got anything to fix that?” It sounded snarky, but she knew it was just because he couldn’t be truly kind to save his life. It shocked her though. If he was willing to meet her halfway, she wouldn’t mind walking the distance as well.

“I- uhm, here.” Ragatha reached into a pocket in her dress and pulled out a small sewing kit. With shaky hands, she gave it to him. “If you don’t know how to us-”

Jax cut her off with a raised hand, not even looking up from the kit in his hands that he was starting to open, “I had a little sister before the circus. I had to learn a lot for her.” He left it at that, but it was all Ragatha really needed to know.

“This might hurt a little.” Jax grabbed the stake in her leg and she let out a pained whine as it shifted the inside of her fabric.

“W-wait.” She gasped out, and Jax obliged for the first time ever. “Let me do it.” He nodded and sat back as she gripped onto the splintering wood, and in one swift movement she ripped the wood out. The action made her head spin as white stuffing came pouring out, but she only allowed herself to hiss through her teeth. She wouldn’t let those sharks any more satisfaction, even if they weren’t with them anymore to see it.

Jax smirked, impressed, “Didn’t think you had it in you.” He grabbed the stake from her and tossed it behind him.

“I’m a lot tougher than I look.” She challenged back, grimacing as he stuck the needle into her fabric to start the stitch. Ragatha had sewed herself up many times since she joined the circus, but seeing it still irked her. Sometimes she forgot her skin was now fabric and it threw her off how it peeled in a specific way whenever something was sharp enough to make contact and tear.

Jax stopped briefly and looked up at her expression. Trying to analyze it she assumed. Ragatha looked back and expected to see that smile that he always wore, but instead saw a small frown and furrowed brows. “Why are you acting so different?” It slipped out, but she really didn’t understand what had prompted this sudden softness, and only just realized how abnormal it truly was.

He looked to the side, but Ragatha gently reached out her hand and held his cheek, moving his head to have his eyes face back towards her before he could put the mask on again. “I don’t know… I guess, I like it when things are funny. What was happening to you was not funny.” He said it plainly, but resolutely, and she believed every word of it.

They sat in comfortable silence as the stitch finished up and Jax took the scissors to cut the excess string only after he tied a knot to secure it. He stood up and reached out a hand to her, so she could test the leg. She took it and stood up with a bit of discomfort, but it was significantly better than it had been ten minutes prior.

Ragatha smiled at Jax gratefully and squeezed the hand that helped her up so he wouldn’t pull away. “I think we may have had you all wrong Jax.”

“Nah, I’m going to use this as blackmail later.” Jax let go of Ragatha’s hand anyways and turned his back to her. She could practically hear the smile in his voice that indicated he was lying. She scoffed in amusement.

A loud bang suddenly sounded above board and they both turned to each other with knowing looks as they heard four pairs of footsteps loudly board the ship. “Looks like our knights and shining armors are here.” Jax put his hands together and fluttered his eyelashes.

“We shouldn’t keep them waiting.” Ragatha rubbed the dried tears away as best she could, patted away the wrinkles in her dress, and put on a brave face. Jax came up and fixed her crooked bow, and she sent him a smile, “Thank you again, Jax. Really, I mean it.”

He pulled back, with a smile of his own. “Sure, Dollface.”

With Jax’s arm under hers to help her walk, they went towards the stairs to meet up with their friends. Ragatha knew it would take her a while to recover from the events of the day, but she felt solace knowing that she had someone to confide in. Someone who made the pain a little more bearable.

Chapter Text

There weren’t many things that didn’t set Pomni off. Ragatha knew that, so she tried to keep her distance when she thought her presence would be too much for the newest member of the Circus.

Today Pomni seemed to be worse than usual, stumbling to the breakfast table Bubble had set, and clumsily pulling out a blocky red chair. It was obvious she was out of it. Ragatha may twist the truth to appease others, but she wasn’t dumb. She knew when something was wrong, so she set down her fork and put on her brightest smile to address the jester.

“Hey Pomni! Lovely day today, right?” Pomni grimaced, and Ragatha frowned slightly. It seemed she never knew what to say to connect with Pomni. No matter how much positivity she forced into her words, it always resulted in push back from the other woman. It was much the same for the other members of the circus, but she found it hurt her the most when it was with Pomni.

“If you can call being stuck in a digital hellscape a ‘lovely day’ then uhm- sure, I guess?” Her reply wasn’t quite snarky, but it was definitely laced with sarcasm. Ragatha saw Jax try to hold in a laugh before it burst out in a loud spurt.

“HAH! Oh Rags, you’re really bad at this.” He slapped a hand over his face, not even bothering to try and hide his growing smile. Pomni rolled her eyes at this, and Ragatha felt a bit of solace knowing they were both sick of his antics.

Zooble leaned in, Gangle peaking her head out behind them no doubt to see what the ruckus was about, “Are you both starting a fight already? We literally just got here.”

Ragatha sputtered and put her hands up in a quick defense, “It wasn’t me! I was just checking in on Pomni.” She reassured the duo. Zooble looked skeptically between them.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” Pomni added in an attempt to keep the peace.

But of course, as always, Jax had to butt in and make everything worse. “No need to lie. Ragatha here just loves to do that.” He held his gloved hand out like he was inspecting his nails.

As always she was easy to get a rise out of, giving into his antics, “Why do you always have to do this? Does it make you happy to rile others up?” Her voice rose, each word getting more heated than the last. By the end of the sentence she was fully standing, face red and hair cartoonishly frazzled.

This only worked to make Jax’s smile widen, his pupils dilated with glee. Pomni sat between the two utterly distressed, looking back and forth as if to see who would pounce first. “Calm down guys.” She said it quietly, but it cut through the tension in the room like a knife.

Ragatha let a deep breath out, calming herself down. “Sorry Pomni. I just get so worked up sometimes.” She laughed pathetically.

“Yeah, you really do.”

Ragatha sent a spiteful glare towards the rabbit, but before she could get anything out, Pomni was already speaking. “Could you stop instigating?”

It stunned them all. Although it had barely even sounded the littlest bit commanding at all, this was the first time Pomni had truly spoken up against Jax at all when she usually just ignored him. Jax’s large eyes blinked once, twice, then went into their signature moonlike creases.

“Jeez, Pom. Since when did you become the fun police?” He snarked, falling back into the usual persona.

“I just… don’t think we should fight. It doesn’t exactly help our situation.” Pomni’s eyes darted from Ragatha’s to Jax’s. Ragatha nodded in approval to her with a warm inviting look on her face that Pomni seemed to appreciate. Jax merely stared lifelessly down at her, a rare frown now sitting unpleasantly on his face. She saw Pomni visibly recoil from the look.

“You’re so sensitive.”

It was all he had to say, and Pomni seemed to snap. Ragatha startled as Pomni practically jumped out of her chair, eyes wide as it clattered to the floor behind her. Her hands started to shake intensely as she held them close to her chest, and she almost fell backwards as she backed away from the table.

“I-uhm-I have to go now.” She darted away faster than Ragatha could even think.

However, she was quick to act, “Pomni!?” She shouted out, but the woman had already turned a corner and was out of their line of view. Jax seemed to revel in her dismay, putting his feet up on the dining table, and leaning back in his chair. The epitome of nonchalance.

This jackass.

“Can’t you at least act like you care?” Ragatha waved her arms about, frustration taking over for the millionth time because of Jax.

“Nah, it was funny.” He put his arms behind his head and smiled wide at Ragatha. It was almost as if he enjoyed this. He probably did.

“Ugh, this is getting nowhere.” Zooble looked annoyed, but their eyes softened when Gangle put a ribbon on their shoulder.

“Still, I hope Pomni is okay.” Gangle whimpered, her comedy mask having broken in its usual way earlier that morning. With the contact, they turned around. Gangle and them shared a sweet look before they stood up to leave the table. Ragatha felt something ugly twist in her gut at that, but decided to will it away for later.

Zooble looked back one last time with a reprimanding gaze Ragatha had seen far too many times in her lifetime. She withered a little. “You two figure this out. It’s clear you said something that upset her, just talk it out or something.” They looked back to Gangle, “We’ll be in my room if you need us.” They said more directed at Ragatha than Jax for obvious reasons.

Jax blew a raspberry at their back as they walked away. Zooble held up their middle finger in response.

Ragatha pinched her nonexistent nosebridge, a habit that stayed with her even after entering the Circus. “Zooble is right. We should fix this.” She conceded, but Jax seemed to have other plans.

“We? I didn’t do anything.” Jax got up now and stretched his legs. “Pomni’ll be fine. She just uh-” He popped his back after a particularly long arch, “has to be alone or something. Hopefully she doesn’t abstract.” He joked as if that wasn’t a possibility, even though it very much so was. How could he act this way after Rib-

“Anyways,” he cut off her train of thought, “I’m gonna go take a nap.” He started to saunter away before Ragatha stopped him in his tracks with one sentence.

“Stop trying to push her past her breaking point just like you did the others.”

She slapped her hands over her mouth the second it came out. She really hadn’t meant to be so straightforward about it, but it was so obvious to her that he was trying his absolute best to make everyone around him miserable. Although she didn’t know why, she knew it wasn’t fair and someone had to stop him. People like his were what caused the others to abstract. She couldn’t bear to see it happen again.

Jax’s back stiffened and his fists shook, but when he turned back towards her his smile and eyes were manically wide, covering a vast majority of his large cartoon face. It was a terrifying sight.

“You really think all of this was my fault.” He laughed bitterly. “Go find Pomni, or whatever it is you want to do. Leave me out of it since you think I’m the root of all of your problems.” He stormed away and left her in silence.

She stood there dumbfounded, but was quick to recover. This was fine! Perfectly fine. Jax would be back to normal next time they met up, but she would probably have to double check her room for bugs that night.

Oh right, Pomni.

Ragatha daintily grabbed her dress as she moved over the fallen chairs and rushed away from the dining area to find her friend.

—

The world had intense static obscuring the corners of her vision. Every noise felt like a scalding burn. Her insides were tearing up. All corners she turned led to nothing, only allowing more panic to grip her as she couldn’t find an out.

To put it simply, Pomni was not doing well.

She really didn’t mean to run away from the table, Jax’s words had just triggered something in her that she couldn’t suppress. The deep seated feeling that she needed to run. Part of her wished that she had at least brought someone with her to help her through her fit of panic. Preferably Ragatha. The girl could be overbearing at times, but in situations like this she always knew the right thing to say. Pomni admired that about her.

A disappointed voice echoed behind her. “You deserved this.” It whispered in her ear. It stopped her in her tracks and when she whipped her head back and forth to see where it came from she was met with nothing.

She started running again, picking up her pace this time because she swore she heard footsteps pounding behind her too. Self preservation kept her eyes straight in front of her so she didn’t accidentally trip over her feet. “I’m not mad. Do you want to see me mad?”

It made a tingle go down her spine, and her breaths quickened. Whether it was from the running or an oncoming panic attack, she wasn’t fully sure. She just wished she could escape this constant fear she felt being in this world.

“You’re so sensitive.”

This one made her fully skirt to a stop again. It had been the same thing Jax had said that morning, but only now did the pieces fully click together in her scattered brain. Instead of whipping her head around to be met with a colorful landscape, she saw a dull, monotonous apartment instead. Her heart dropped to her stomach. That was why it had set her off.

Typically, when Pomni broke up with someone, she tried to keep it as civil as possible for minimal damage control. Her first two exes shared the sentiment. The third didn’t.

After she asked for advice in online chat rooms, she came to the conclusion that he was a manipulative, gaslighting, self centered douchebag. He would yell over tiny things, berate her for not complying to his every whim, and would even go as far as to threaten her with self harm.

She knew he never actually meant the last one, but it worked wonders on her back in their earlier days of dating. Left her in a groveling heap on the ground more often than not.

Once they broke up, she couldn’t escape him. At work he would wait outside to ambush her. In her apartment she’d often see him standing outside her window. Out grocery shopping he’d somehow be in the next aisle waiting for her.

Pomni couldn’t leave the house without being a nervous wreck, so she decided to move. Even after that, it still impacted her, and she always found herself being extra cautious going anywhere outside from then on.

That was the main reason she started urban exploring. The hobby let her have a healthy, albeit slightly illegal, way to get out, but not have to deal with the everlooming presence of her ex hanging over her head.

Well, until she got sucked into a digital world that has a rude purple rabbit that reminded her of said ex. One who gave her a false sense of hope that maybe she could help him despite the obvious impossibility of that.

Now however, in the present, she was back in her old apartment she had lived in back when she and Jordan were still dating. She didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Hello?” Pomni called out, hands shaking still from everything that had happened to her in the past hour.

A figure walked through the door. It stood there menacingly, not quite a person, but a dark silhouette of one. She recognized the build as Jordan’s almost immediately and she felt her body tense.

The same voice that was whispering in her ear earlier returned, but this time it was a bit more feminine. That was odd, Jordan would keel over dead before he was associated with the word ‘feminine’. “Worthless. That’s all you are.” Pomni shrunk under the weight of the words.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone.” She responded, still unsure if this was something Caine or her mind had conjured up. Either way it was pretty twisted.

All of a sudden the silhouette was looming over her, and it reached out its arm to grab her shoulder. She tried to pull back, but it wouldn’t let her go.

“Stop it. You’re hurting me.”

“You haven’t even seen hurt yet.” It spoke down to her bitterly, but its words contradicted its actions as it pulled back and stood a respectful distance away.

She furrowed her brows in confusion at the silhouette’s decision. Jordan was never that passive. When he wanted something he was very adamant about it until he got it. “How are you here?”

“I’m obsessed with you. I want to be with you always.” She shriveled away from him at the statement. “You thought you could escape me by running away and putting a silly headset on? Think again.” Memories of restraining orders and eyes on her flooded her mind. She wouldn’t ever be able to escape him, would she? She’d be stuck in a never ending cycle of cat and mouse where the cat always won. “Why don’t you want me P@#$%?”

Pomni took a step back and shook her head, the words she wanted to say, the words that she had been rehearsing in her mind for their inevitable next meeting died on her tongue. She was so out of it she didn’t even register his attempt to say her real name.

“Respond to me!” The figure shouted and she jumped at the volume of it.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” She whispered out pitifully, months of conditioning from dealing with that kind of behavior showing through. Just act submissive. Just be agreeable. Her opinions and feelings didn’t matter in lieu of his own.

The shadow then did something she didn’t expect. Instead of continuing the tirade like Jordan typically would when he got too riled up, it sat down and put its hands in its lap. She squinted at it trying to find an ulterior motive.

Come to think of it, the shadow’s movements hadn’t been matching its words the whole time they had been interacting. A bitter sentence followed by unsure body language.

Pomni approached it wearily. It was still spitting obscenities at her, but she chose to ignore them to focus on her new discovery. This obviously wasn’t actually Jordan. It was just a silhouette. There was no way he could’ve found her out in the abandoned building she was exploring. He hadn’t even found her new apartment in the three years she had been living there since she moved.

If he had found her alone in the building incapacitated by the headset… Nope. Not gonna let my mind wander to those scenarios. She thought hastily.

She sat down in front of the figure and it reached out its hand, another thing Jordan wouldn’t do. He was one to take whatever he wanted when he wanted it. Pomni clung to the dissimilarity like a lifeline.

Grabbing the figure’s hand, it had a light grip. Not too demanding, not too worried it was going to hurt her, just comforting. It squeezed her hand once before flipping over her hand so her palm was face up. Pomni just stared for now, letting it do whatever it wanted with her hand.

It raised its other hand with one finger pointed out, but when Pomni tensed at the movement, it was quick to stop for a moment and start gingerly rubbing circles into her palm with its thumb. Pomni was quick to comfort and nodded to the figure in assent to keep doing what it was trying to do.

Pointer finger out, the silhouette started writing on her hand. “Ragatha?” Pomni blurted out after it finished writing.

Suddenly, the musty apartment faded away and was replaced by the overstimulating colors of the circus. Pomni had to squint her eyes a bit at the onslaught of colors. Once she blinked away the momentary blindness, she was met with a teary eyed Ragatha in the same pose the figure was in right in front of her.

“H- hey, no need to cry.” Pomni was quick to comfort, but it only aided in making the tears well up faster and start to fall. Through her shock at the whole situation of course she was the one to comfort first. It was something that came naturally. Something that got her stuck in relationships with people like Jordan.

But Ragatha was quick to bounce back, so soft, so docile, unlike Jordan ever was. “Oh, Pomni. I was so worried. Are you okay?” Pomni blinked confusedly as her heart swelled with warmth at the statement.

With her lack of response, Ragatha seemed to only get more concerned. She settled on not fawning too much over Pomni, despite that being her natural response to most situations like this, and just holding both arms out in an open gesture. Pomni immediately understood and dove into the hug as everything finally started to hit her.

Usually not being one for touch, she almost surprised herself at the motion, but she snuggled into Ragatha’s side nonetheless. It was an awkward position. Pomni had landed in the hug so that her head was practically on Ragatha’s lap, her arms desperately clung around the other girl’s waist. Ragatha didn’t seem to mind though, her hand reaching hesitantly to card through Pomni’s hair. When Pomni leaned into it, Ragatha settled a bit more into the movement.

Pomni had really just had that intense of a flashback. Her earlier theory was disproven that it could’ve been something Caine conjured up because she’d had attacks like that before in the real world. Ragatha being able to pull her out of it solidified the fact even more in her brain.

This was something only her mind could’ve come up with.

The thought made her sick as she clung silently to Ragatha whose breath was still softly hitching from crying. Whether it was from the shock or empathy, Pomni didn’t know, but the girl above her was definitely just as affected by the situation as her.

Guilt gnawed at Pomni for that. She really hadn’t wanted to drag anyone else into this mess. If she had it her way, she would’ve run straight to her room, but her panic driven mind didn’t allow for that to happen.

Ragatha’s breath seemed to even out and Pomni leaned back to look at her fully. “Are you okay?” Pomni asked as Ragatha’s hand fell from her hair.

“Am I okay? What about you?”

“You were crying.” Pomni asked stubbornly, trying to ignore the real issue at hand.

“I just… don’t like seeing you like that.” Ragatha confessed. Pomni felt her face heat for an unknown reason. This was stupid, was she really going to fall for someone she barely knew, especially after what happened with Jordan.

“Why did you get up from the table so suddenly?” Ragatha seemed almost scared to ask. Pomni sighed, she knew she’d have to talk to someone about it and explain her little outburst, but she wished she could just bottle it all up. It was what she was used to and it seemed like many other members of the Circus shared the sentiment.

Not Ragatha though.

She was like an open book, someone who was always willing to do anything for her and the others. None of them gave her enough credit for that.

So Pomni spilled her guts to the one person at the circus who might actually know how to handle other people’s emotions. Who could blame her? She told Ragatha everything. From the start of the relationship to the bitter end. How it affected her so much that she could barely leave her house. Everything.

Ragatha just sat patiently and listened. It was all Pomni could’ve asked for.

When she finally finished, she felt relieved like she never had before. This was something Pomni hadn’t told anyone, meaning Ragatha was the first person to find out. The sweet ragdoll she met at the Circus, who was always there for her. Someone she decided to tell even over her parents.

Her parents… She really didn’t want to worry them. That was the main reason she didn’t tell them. The excuse she came up with was that she had to move for her job. They bought it, but they definitely had their qualms with their daughter moving 1000 miles away from them.

She thought maybe the reason she told Ragatha was because she’d never have a chance like this to tell anyone ever again, what with them being stuck in the Circus and all. None of them had any idea if they would escape before they abstracted, so no better time than now to air the truth out.

Ragatha rubbed gentle circles on her back as Pomni came down from her initial clash of emotions at the retelling of some of the worst moments of her life. Always gentle, always easy to go to. “I understand that was hard to say. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

“Why are you doing this for me? I don’t understand?”

Ragatha shifted a little at that, halting in her movements. “I guess I just wish someone was there for me when I first showed up.” She frowned and looked to the side, “I also kind of understand your situation.”

Pomni pulled away from her gentle embrace again. The face she made must’ve alarmed Ragatha that she had gone too far past Pomni’s boundaries, and her hands shot up in a placating gesture as she stuttered out, “Well-uh, not fully of course. I’ve never had an obsessive, stalker ex. In fact, I’ve never dated haha.” The laugh was forced and awkward, and when Pomni responded with a deadpan look that screamed ‘I know you’re hiding something’, Ragatha sighed and prepared herself to tell the truth too. It was the least she could do for Pomni.

“My mother wasn’t exactly the kindest.” She started, and at her hesitance, Pomni nodded in reassurance. “She would berate me, guilt trip me. It wasn’t exactly a great way to grow up.” Pomni’s heart broke for the girl. She had only had to deal with the abuse for a few months before she walked away. Ragatha however, had been dealing with it her whole life.

“How did you get past it?” Pomni whispered out. It hadn’t seemed like the ragdoll ever had, based on her people pleasing tendencies. That frightened her, but she had to know. Had to know if she would ever escape the ever present fear hovering over her every waking minute.

The next words out of Ragatha’s mouth weren’t what Pomni wanted to hear. “It never really leaves you. Especially since I still live on the farm. I have a separate house! I just can’t really find it in me to leave…” Pomni willed back a sob and took the initiative this time, wrapping her arms around Ragatha in a tight hug. Ragatha seemed shocked at first, but quickly melted into the embrace. They sat there, two women broken down by people who couldn’t appreciate their love correctly.

“It was always so nice when my mother looked at me like I mattered, like she was proud of me. Though those times were few and far between.” Pomni knew exactly what she meant. The bad moments always far outweighed the good, but that just worked to make the good stand out even more. They felt like a prize to be earned, a little reward that instilled hope that maybe the coming days would bring the same kindness.

That’s what Pomni had originally thought, but now she knew better.

Now that she was less out of it, while still embracing, she noticed Ragatha smelled like apples and cinnamon. She vaguely wondered how that worked with them being in a digital world and all.

Deciding not to ponder on it too long, Pomni broke the silence with a red face, having noticed that she was just cataloguing Ragatha’s scent. “Y-you could always crash at my place–well, if we escape…”

Ragatha was quick to pull out of the hug, and she cupped Pomni’s cheeks with her hands. She was getting really comfortable touching her, but Pomni couldn’t seem to care much at the moment. The contact made butterflies stir up in her stomach. It wasn’t a wholly unwelcomed feeling accompanied by the flush of her cheeks.

“That would be… You have no idea how much that means to me.” A wide smile split across Ragatha’s face. “Thank you, Pomni. You always know just the right thing to say.”

“I was thinking the same about you.” Pomni replied smoothly, a stupid smile spreading across her face too. This time, Ragatha’s face lit up red. Pomni held back a giggle, her former confidence now returned.

“Are we going to be okay?” Ragatha asked, moving her hands from Pomni’s face to grab both her hands in her own.

“I think I’ll be okay for now. I’m just glad I could get that out. You?”

“Oh! I’ll be alright. Nothing I can’t handle.” Ragatha said peppily. “Hey, Pomni?”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever need anything, please don’t be afraid to ask.” There was a sincerity in Ragatha’s voice Pomni wasn’t used to hearing from the others in the Circus. She realized it was something she wanted to get used to, and found herself leaning closer to Ragatha.

The other woman seemed to take that as enough of a response, and spoke again, “We should probably head back to our rooms, the day seems to be coming to a close.” She gestured up to the hole in the roof where the moon was glaring down at them.

“Ah, yeah, you’re right.”

They walked back to their rooms together hand in hand, blushing like school girls despite their grown age, but also feeling a deep companionship with one another. Together, they felt rejuvenated, like they could face the world simply because they had each other.

Little did they know, Jax watched the whole exchange from afar, ear flicking with dismay. He wouldn’t approach them, he would never put his pride at stake like that. That exact mindset would be his downfall, and he knew that as he looked down at the rainbow colored eyeballs that already consumed the lower half of his forearm.

After all, the worst thing one could do in the Circus is make someone feel like they’re unwanted or unloved, and Jax might just be the most unloved of them all.