Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The air is crisp and cool, the only warmth coming from the nearby campfire. Sand clings to his uniform, and he’s sure he’ll find more of it in his shoes and pockets tomorrow, especially with the way he’s sitting on the ground. Smoke twirls in the cold air, the source a cigarette loosely held between chapped lips. He takes a deep drag from it, lost in his thoughts.

The day wasn’t exactly eventful. At this point, encounters with enemy stand users were a regular. Even if Sun killed their camels and forced them to continue their travels by foot, it wasn’t exactly a hard battle. That idiot used a mirror and forgot about the rock in the landscape. He was easily beaten by a mere rock.

Deep in thought, Jotaro doesn’t hear the tent rustling behind him. Out steps none other than Kakyoin. It’s not until the boy sits down next to him that Jotaro notices his presence. His eyes briefly gaze at him, noticing the hint of tiredness around him, before they look towards the endless sand again. He takes a calm drag from the cigarette, keeping it in his mouth. His arms cross.

No word is uttered.

At least not from him.

“How’s night duty treating you?”

Of course it’s Kakyoin who first speaks up. If it weren’t him then the silence would drag on for as long as there’s sand around them. His voice is soft, tired, but not strained. The days have only been getting more and more tiring. It’s a surprise he doesn’t seem as exhausted as Jotaro expected.

“Just fine.”

He mumbles gruffly in response, taking the cigarette between the index and middle finger of his right hand. He was never a man of many words, and the current time might as well make him even more quiet – if that were possible. The smoke gets exhaled to the side and away from Kakyoin. That’s the most considerate he’ll ever be.

The redhead smiles and nods. His gaze travels up to the sky, hands stretched towards the fire, most likely to get some of the warmth it offers. It’s a bit chilly after all, and although Jotaro is good at hiding how the cold gets to him, even he can admit that it’s reasonable for his friend to want to warm up.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Kakyoin starts again, his eyes closing briefly. Jotaro didn’t ask, he was pondering if he should ask or not but didn’t. It’s like Kakyoin knew the question lingered in his mind. The longer they spend time together, the more it feels like the redhead seems to know him better. The thought of someone being able to understand his closed-off mind is almost… scary.

Jotaro doesn’t comment, and so Kakyoin continues. When he feels like letting something off his chest, then so be it. Jotaro won’t interrupt.

“It’s probably because of this journey. All these enemies have been messing with my sleep schedule for some time now. Though I guess this mission wasn’t going to be a stroll in the park when the lives of many are at risk.”

A hand goes up, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks at Jotaro, a soft and tired smile on his lips. There aren’t any dark rings under his eyes – yet. Jotaro notices his gaze and glances over, smoke slowly leaving through his nose.

“I bet you’d be able to sleep like a rock.”

Kakyoin inquires, his smile spreading. Jotaro finds himself somehow huffing in amusement, shaking his head and looking away again. He places the cig back between his lips. When he talks, his voice is muffled. Thankfully the crackling of the fire isn’t loud enough to swallow it.

“Probably.”

A short answer. One that Kakyoin is all too familiar with. He doesn’t mind. Never did. And so, he tilts his head up and looks at the sky. It’s a quiet night. Peaceful, unlike the prior days they had to fight through to continue their journey to Cairo. The silence didn’t get to settle entirely, for Kakyoin was back to talking before Jotaro could let out a third cloud of smoke.

“The stars are beautiful.”

Jotaro’s head almost instinctively quirks up, his hat making it a small challenge to gaze at the stars his friend pointed out. He’s right though.

“They are.”

“Ever thought about why they’re up there, so far away from us?”

Jotaro merely hums in response, his gaze dropping again. He’s asking one of these philosophical questions. Not that he’s annoyed, but Jotaro isn’t one to muse about such things. That’s probably the biggest difference between the two – aside from the obvious.

Kakyoin continues nonetheless, his eyes staying on the object of his attention.

“Don’t they get cold up there? You know, I don’t think so. There are so many of them, I’m sure they keep themselves warm. They mustn’t worry about ever being alone. There will always be another star nearby.”

Hearing the slight change in tone, Jotaro realizes that this is taking on a more personal note. It’s not about stars – at least not only about them. There’s more to it; he can sense it. Maybe he’ll just ignore it though, be his usual self with that cold and indifferent exterior. But somehow, when he catches a glimpse of that solemn expression on his friend’s face, he speaks up.

“You don’t have to worry about being lonely either. You have us now.”

The sudden sound of Jotaro’s voice startles Kakyoin out of his own world. He blinks and looks over at him, watching the smoke twist and twirl from the cigarette instead of his face. For a moment, he’s a bit stunned.

Jotaro wasn’t one to say such things, heck, he expected him to just ignore his words and think of them as mindless. He expected a lot, but not this. Soon enough, he chuckles softly, shaking the initial confusion off.

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

The smile reaches his eyes, and as Jotaro takes it in, he feels… content. He made him smile and none other. Something about that feels like a small accomplishment. It’s ridiculous.

He grunts a small “you’re welcome” and tugs down his hat to hide his eyes underneath it. The cigarette finds its way to his mouth again, and the once occupied hand now rests on the sand. It’s cold. It doesn’t feel too nice. Then again, it would be weird if it did.

While getting lost listening to the campfire crackle quieter and the wind howl gently through the open landscape, Kakyoin looks at his friend in content silence. It’s odd, but he feels as though he caught a glimpse of Jotaro behind the tough exterior he usually has. Like there’s someone purposely hiding, peeking out at rare times.

Not thinking much, the redhead places his hand on top of the one resting on the ground. The movement makes Jotaro’s head turn sharply. His eyes widen briefly, but he tugs down his hat even quicker. Something is grumbled under the other’s breath, but he doesn’t pull away. It gives Kakyoin hope for something – that he can feel something aside from roughness. That there might even be something soft tucked away.

“Your hand’s cold.”

He whispers quietly, looking back up at the sky. Stars slowly dance around them. He tries to look casual about it, but inside Jotaro, there’s a turmoil of thoughts and feelings he never thought he’d think of or feel. His hat is pulled down fare enough for only his cigarette to be poking out, amber faintly glowing from the end that’s not held by his lips.

Kakyoin, on the other hand, is calm. Perhaps a bit too calm. Does it just look like it? No. He’s doing this so casually because it’s casual for him. Something he’d do around anyone he knows long enough. Then again, they don’t know each other for that long either. Jotaro shouldn’t think too much about it. It doesn’t mean anything.

…

Just that it does. It means more to Kakyoin than to Jotaro. At least that’s his view.

Kakyoin intertwines his fingers with Jotaro’s, his thumb stroking the side of his hand. It’s a gentle, almost tender touch on Jotaro’s calloused hand. Not that Kakyoin’s hand’s soft, but it feels nicer than Jotaro’s does.

“You know those are bad for you.”

Kakyoin’s voice break through the suddenly thick air, pointing towards the cigarette in his mouth. Jotaro sigh and shakes his head.

“Of course I do.”

His words come out more pressed than he intended to. It’s embarrassing enough that he pulls down his hat even more. At this point, his hair is almost on full display, messy black locks showing with some specks of sand in them. That sand is basically everywhere.

Cute.
Is what Kakyoin thinks at the sight. It’s definitely not an adjective normally associated with Jotaro, but for the redhead, it makes sense at this moment. It just fits, no matter what others might say. He knows he’s right, because how could the way he’s trying to hide his face not be cute?
Guess my friend has a softer side to him after all.

Kakyoin doesn’t press on the matter and simply looks at the campfire. It’s starting to die down, but the warmth he’s feeling right now stays. Maybe Jotaro is feeling it as well. It’s hard to tell, but he hasn’t pulled away yet, and that should mean something.

As the embers begin to glow more prominently, Kakyoin sighs. His hand squeezes his, and other than that, he quietly gazes at the stars. Jotaro continues to smoke in silence, his exhales barely audible.

Jotaro was right earlier, Kakyoin thinks, I’m not alone anymore.

He won’t be any time soon either.

Chapter Text

A lot has happened ever since that night. Not only have Jotaro and Kakyoin grown closer, but the Stands they’ve encountered ever since became more difficult to overcome. From Death 13 that could kill someone in their dream, all the way to the dangerous High Priestess. They even encountered a new companion, Iggy the dog. His company had things to be desired from, but he wasn’t as awful when you gave him some coffee-flavoured gum. But that’s all not important.

Shortly after encountering their supposed ally, an enemy decided to attack. Geb – the Stand of the blind N’Doul. His water-like Stand managed to hurt Kakyoin, of all people, and that right in the eyes. In no time, he was brought to the hospital. Even if he didn’t show it at the time, it gave Jotaro a shock.

He wasn’t allowed to stay long by his side in the hospital, needing to continue moving to reach Cairo in time. So, Jotaro begrudgingly went along with the others. His mind didn’t pay much attention to the fights that followed, circling mainly around Kakyoin and how he’s doing. He would never admit it, but he was worried more than ever about his friend.

Thoughts like “is he alright?”, “I hope he’s not in too much pain”, and “will he ever be able to see again?” plagued him day in day out. It’s hard to get some rest in the night when the person closest to you is suddenly gone. The calming presence next to him was no more, and he didn’t know how long it would take until they’d see each other again.

All these feelings weren’t familiar to him either. Not even in the slightest. He isn’t supposed to be this worried over someone. He’s supposed to be nearly apathetic, or at least too tough to care. But he isn’t. Not when it comes to Kakyoin.

In Cairo, things didn’t look too good themselves. Currently they’re stuck searching for Dio’s mansion in the large town. To top it all off, Iggy’s gone missing, and the one person they thought could help never returned to them. The most logical explanation for that, given their current situation, is an enemy Stand user that must’ve attacked their alley. There’s no use in dwelling on it though. Not when-

Iggy, missing his left front leg, comes limping towards the four from an alleyway. Concerned, Joseph takes the dog into his arms, leaving Polnareff and Avdol to wonder what had happened to him. Jotaro doesn’t look at the dog though, he keeps looking around. The reason? He heard footsteps. His back now turned towards the direction Iggy came; he begins to scan the rest of their surroundings.

“It appears Iggy had a run-in with the enemy. We saw a boy holding him. He was half dead. The doctors from the Speedwagon Foundation tended to his wounds. Just like…”

The men stood in shock, mouths gaped wide. Jotaro’s heart races.
It can’t be… He’s supposed to be…

“… my eyes.”

Not even a second passes when Jotaro rushes forward, arms wrapping around Kakyoin’s torso tightly. He trembles slightly, afraid that if he’ll let go now, Kakyoin might disappear – even if said fear isn’t very present on his face.

“Whoa- And here I tried to have a dramatic entrance.”

He pats Jotaro on the back, before he returns the hug with a smile. He wouldn’t be in his right mind if he were to push him off anyway.

“I missed you too, heh.”

A somewhat breathy chuckle leaves the redhead’s lips, only to be met by something muffled from Jotaro beyond understanding. There’s a clear change in his friend that Kakyoin can feel. Maybe because he feels it as well.

When spending all these nights at the hospital, unable to see, he was clinging to the memory of Jotaro’s face in hopes of never forgetting it in case of the worst-scenario. Thankfully, he can still see. He must wear sunglasses during the day now to go easy on his eyes, but aside from two, vertical scars, he’s fine.

“Shut up, you idiot.”

Jotaro grumbles, this time more audible, his face hidden by the other’s shoulder and voice muffled by the fabric of his uniform. If only he knew how worried I’ve been, Jotaro thought, trying his best not to squeeze his friend too tightly. The amount of relief he feels right now can’t be put into words. And here he thought he had to fight against Dio before getting to see him again, and that before he even got to-

Jotaro quickly stops that train of thought. It didn’t feel right to think about such a thing right now. At least that’s in his opinion. Kakyoin’s heart is aching ever so slightly when Jotaro pulls away and steps back after less than a minute. The others hug him and smile, but nothing gave him the same feeling as the tall teenager did.

After that happy reunion, the Crusaders decided to take a small break. It leaves enough time for Jotaro and Kakyoin to go to a café and enjoy a nice cup of coffee along a small dessert – it was Jotaro’s idea, given he’s been in Cairo for a bit longer now due to the search for Dio’s mansion.

Now sitting at a table, they’re both silent. Jotaro has to get used to the sight of Kakyoin’s purple eyes being covered by black sunglasses, hiding them. He observes the scars left on his face. His body tenses up slightly. Not even Jotaro himself had such obvious scars. It feels unfair to him.

Why did it have to be Kakyoin, of all people? Why did it have to be someone so close to his heart that the thought of a scar like that forever to be present on his face terrifies him? Even the mere idea of Kakyoin being significantly hurt makes him worry. He feels so ridiculous.

“Hey.”

As per usual, it’s Kakyoin’s voice that breaks the silence with its soft and calm tone. Jotaro snaps out of it, mouth dry all of a sudden. He gulps and sighs, attempting to calm his nerves.

He’s fine now. He’s right here, with me.

“Stop worrying so much about me. I’m fine. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

He offers Jotaro a smile and places a hand over his. The action alone is enough to make his heart skip a beat. It’s like butterflies made their way into his stomach. It makes him tug his hat down almost sheepishly.

“I’ll try…”

Is all he mumbles in response, keeping his hand under his. The warmth seeps through him the longer his hand stayed. He missed this. Ever since that one night at the campfire, he has missed Kakyoin’s touch. That softness and care in which he spoke and looked at him. Now he’s finally getting it again.

Is this how it’s supposed to be with a friend? Am I supposed to miss him this much? He thought restlessly, gaze dropping to the untouched dessert in front of him. He didn’t feel like eating something sweet, not right now. Kakyoin’s, on the other hand, is already eaten. A dish with cherries – his favourite fruit. Jotaro committed that information to memory since the day he first told him.

Kakyoin decides to talk some more. Be it about their current situation or about other, less important things. When they come from Kakyoin though, they’re never unimportant to Jotaro.

“We’ll face Dio soon, no? I’m sure our chances are high. We all have grown so much already, I’m sure with enough effort, we’ll beat him.”

It’s unclear if he’s trying to reassure himself, Jotaro, or if he just casually mentions this at the side. He continues before Jotaro can reply.

“It’s been pretty boring at the hospital. I couldn’t see for so long, I almost went insane.”

He chuckles, the hand clasped over Jotaro’s giving it a light squeeze.

“Most importantly though, I thought I’d never see you again… or anyone for that matter.”

He clears his throat, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. His calm exterior shows some cracks, but it doesn’t disappear completely. Jotaro, on the other hand, is a nervous wreck. The only thing keeping him from making it obvious is his hat – which he uses to hide his face, more specifically his eyes, with.

“I… was also worried about that happening.”

He quietly manages to say, though feeling like an idiot for just repeating Kakyoin’s words without adding anything to them. They’re not any less true, but Jotaro just feels like Kakyoin deserves more than something so simple. Which is something completely new for Jotaro, given his thing is to talk in short and compact sentences. And so, for once, he speaks up again.

“I was worried in general about you. As in, how you were doing and all that stuff.”

He clears his throat, hoping he didn’t sound too weird. His throat is still dry, even after drinking some coffee. If anything, the hot liquid might’ve worsened it. He can feel his palm sweating. There’s no logical explanation as to why Jotaro is like this right now.

… or at least not one he likes.

Kakyoin falls quiet. That same surprise he felt during that one night in the desert came back. He feels warm once it wears off, smiling at his friend. Maybe he’s imagining things, but it feels like Jotaro has changed. Enough for him to notice, at least.

He gives his hand a light squeeze, about to answer, but Jotaro startles him by talking again.

“It’s… weird, I know. Heck, you’re allowed to kick me if you find it stupid. But these past few days, I’ve been thinking. A lot. About you. More than I probably should. I mean, you’re just my friend, best friend even, but still. It’s odd.”

Jotaro chuckles nervously, gulping down the lump in his throat. At this point, his hat might as well fall off. The hand Kakyoin squeezed twitches slightly. He already started, so he might as well continue.

“And, you know, since you already mentioned the battle with Dio… I think it’s important that I say this. You never know what will happen in there. So, Kakyoin, I- “

The words catch in his throat as he feels fingers gently taking hold of his chin, coaxing it upward. Kakyoin’s hand leaves his and instead tips up his hat. Now his purple eyes look right into his. Jotaro’s teal ones are widened, he himself frozen in place.

I think I love you – it lingers on the tip of his tongue. He wants to say it, even if he was hesitant at first, now he just wants to let it out. To put what he feels into words as best as possible. But he doesn’t get the chance to, not when Kakyoin leans over the table and captures his lips in a kiss.

Earth stops spinning, thoughts coming to a halt. His body frozen in time, slowly melted the longer the redhead’s lips stay on his. The kiss would’ve been done in a few seconds, well, if it weren’t for Jotaro’s clumsy attempt to kiss him back. His actions are tentative yet carried a hint of certainty. That’s when he regained the ability to think.

This is right, he thinks to himself, closing his eyes tightly. Kakyoin, calm as ever, must suppress a chuckle. Whatever Jotaro is going through right now, he’s glad he can witness it happen. Perhaps he’s even happy being the cause of it all.

He always thought Jotaro might swing this way – especially with the number of girls he’s shouted at and cursed directly. And even though they continued to fawn over his looks, Kakyoin felt as though he’s hiding something underneath. Maybe it’s this? He doesn’t know. He also just wants to enjoy the moment as it is, commit the feeling of those chapped lips on his to memory.

Once the kiss does finish, his expression softens beyond anything Jotaro’s ever seen before. Kakyoin sits back down in his chair and then points to the untouched chocolate cake sitting in front of Jotaro.

“You going to eat that?”

He waits patiently for the dark-haired boy to utter a response, noticing how he still needs to process what just happened.

Jotaro clears his throat and shakes his head, pushing the plate towards him.

“N-no. You can have it.”

His gaze averts and Kakyoin happily begins to eat.

What just happened...? He glances at the redhead briefly, unable to do so for long. Then, his hand moves up, fingers brushing over his lips. He can still feel it linger, that soft and sweet feeling of his lips. It’s not gone.

Did he know what I was about to say? Was it some kind of answer to it? More of these questions cloud his mind. He’s blushing, even if he doesn’t realize it. Kakyoin can se it, but he decides not to comment on it. Jotaro is confused enough as it is.

As Jotaro sees his friend smile, probably enjoying the cake, he sighs. His shoulders, which he didn’t notice were tense, relax.

He doesn’t have to tell me what it meant. I could feel the answer already.
Kakyoin feels the same, that’s why he kissed me.
We don’t have to put a label on it yet.
First we fight Dio and then we can take care of whatever this is between us.
I’m happy either way.

And as the moment continues, both Jotaro and Kakyoin were content, a silent understanding between the two.

They’ll figure things out later. Now it’s about enjoying the moment while it lasts, defeat Dio, and see where things take them.

If only they knew their happiness wouldn’t last for long.

Chapter Text

I'm glad he's not here.

The cold water soaks his clothes, his hair damp from it, an almost freezing waterfall pouring relentlessly onto his weakened form. His purple eyes continue to study the enemy, trying to make sense of how he ended up like this. 

It happened quickly. Too quickly. He didn't even get to blink when the attack hurled him into the water tank, causing a massive hole to tear through the metal. Does his Stand make him extraordinarily quick? No, it must be something else. If it were mere speed, then his eyelids wouldn't have frozen in place like they did. 

He looks around, albeit a bit scatterbrained, searching for clues or something that might tell what his ability is. 

Kakyoin is driven by sheer adrenaline and... a form of protectiveness. If he doesn't find out what this deadly Stand Power is, then Jotaro will he hit just like him. He'd never let that happen. Before that he'll throw himself at Dio again and do everything he can to buy some time for the boy he loves.

Then, a slither of hope, of a chance falls into his amethyst-like eyes; the clocktower. Who would've guessed that something so mundane would make such a great difference in this battle? There's no time to think about the bizzareness of the moment though. He needs to tell Joseph quickly before-

Ow.

His shoulders slump forward, body pushed slightly down by the water. All of a sudden, his chest begins to heathe - or he just took notice of how heavily he's been breathing. Everything is aching and a great pain is pulsating from his stomach. His gaze drops, the reality of the moment sinking in. 

He's greeted with cold water coloured in a warm crimson. If it wouldn't be a hole, the wound would gape right now. But it feels numb instead. His toes, his legs, his fingers and arms, everything slowly but surely grows number with each pump of blood that's being lost on the ground below.

It's now when he starts to register Joseph's voice from a rooftop nearby. He sounds worried. 

Maybe I should be worried, he thinks while blankly staring at the blood he's losing. Then, he shakes his head.

No, you can't let your emotions get the better of you, Kakyoin, not now. Not until Mr. Joestar knows what you found out. With these thoughts in mind, he gathers what little strength he can find to give a hint, a sign to the concerned man.

Dio stands near the clocktower, grinning menacingly as he sizes up Joseph like a hunter does its prey. That's all they are to the vampire; prey. But suddenly, his eyes widen and he dodges what he thought to be an attack. His blood-red eyes dart to Kakyoin, a hand stretched out in his direction.

He missed? Dio thinks to himself, though seeing just how little life is left in him makes the vampire feel content. His attention goes back to Joseph, paying the redhead no more mind. 

The thing is, Kakyoin's Emerald Splash didn't miss. He hit his target; the arrow for the minutes on the clock of the tower. To his luck, Joseph sees it. The gears turn in his head, and knowing he's a smart man, relief creeps into Kakyoin's skin, almost as warm as the blood he's losing. 

His thoughts begin to drift elsewhere, knowing he successfully did what he had to do. The next moments feel like a dream of sorts; pictures of his childhood flashing before him like a movie. What he sees would normally leave his heart aching.

He's alone in school. The kids could be cruel, whispering things behind his back at times. Their politeness felt forced, but Kakyoin never really cared. Hierophant Green manifested early at his side, and ever since Kakyoin felt like he didn't belong to those children around him. 

Why bother getting to know someone if they will never fully know you? He used to tell himself when yet another one of his peers didn't see the green Stand float watchfully beside him.

These memories specifically cause Kakyoin to smile weakly. Really, it's his fault for not having any friends growing up. His opinion on the matter didn't change though, because he found someone worth opening up to. Someone with a Stand like his. He has found someone who's worth getting to know, worth remembering what they like and worth understanding their silence when others couldn't. He found Jotaro.

It's a shame he never got to say the three words he should've told him when they were at the café, or at the doorstep to the front door of the mansion. He thought there would be a better time to say them, after winning the battle. But frankly, there's a lot he could've done prior to this but didn't. Maybe it's for the better, keeping the current situation in mind. 

I hope he won't miss me too much... What am I even thinking, he's Jotaro. The most he'll do is she'd a tear or two. That's for the better anyway. I want him to he happy and not to mourn at my grave, if he'll even find the time to visit, that is. 

... I don't love him any less, even if my assumptions will be right. For him, I'll die with a smile.

And with that last thought in his mind, his eyelids grow heavy until his once vibrant, purple eyes close. His chest stops its frantic rising and falling, a once lonely heart finally coming to peace due to the friends he made during those 50 days away from him. 

...

Joseph watches Kakyoin's body fall limply to the ground. Someone will have to thell the kid's parents.

The rain pours heavily, but there's no umbrella in sight. It makes sense, no one would be here right now; it's cold and the ground is muddy. There are better days to visit.

... But not for Jotaro.

He prefers this, being soaked to the bones by the cold droplets of water falling from heavy clouds, as if making himself sick would change anything anything. As if it could bring back him. But nothing will. No matter how much his heart hurts, how often he cries himself to sleep, or how many times he visits his grave to being flower - lavender, his favourite and he colour closest to his eyes. Or at least closest to how they used to be. Now they'll never open again. 

Jotaro promised his dead friend he wouldn't cry. So, he doesn't, staring at the words engraved on the stone below. 

Here rests

Kakyoin Noriaki

(Number - number)

His parents already visited today, roses neatly placed in a vase. They make the lavenders on the wet stoke feel out of place, but he doesn't care. He knows Kakyoin wouldn't really either. 

The rain hits everything without mercy, but Jotaro just stands there. Slowly, the movement almost hesitant, he crouched down. He takes a cigarette from his left pocket and attempts to light it.

Water drops drum on his hat and roll down the edge of it, metal softly clicking in a desperate attempt to make a flame. 

Klick.

No fire. He tries again.

Klick.

Another try, maybe?

Klick.

Again. 

Klick.

Again.

Klick.

Klick.

Klick. 

Klick.

Klick.

...

The lighter hits the gravestone on the right with a loud, frustrated clatter. Tears stream down his face, ugly sods he's been holding back for weeks escaping him. His whole body shakes, he'd blame it on the cold, but it's clear that it's from pain. 

He's in pain.

A lot of pain.

The wet cigarette falls from his lips, hands rising to wipe away the endless amount of tears. They won't stop any time soon, but damn it, he'll try anything to keep the promise he made. It's of no use. He already failed to hide his misery just like he failed to save the one he loved.

...

"I would give up forever to see you again, to touch and talk to you. You were the closest to heaven that I'd ever be and I don't want to go home right now, not without you, no."

"... I just don't want to miss you for another night."

His voice, once deep and indifferent, the calm in a storm, croaks out, occasionally interrupted by a loud sob. It's hard to talk at all, the lump that's on his throat has been torturing for a few days now, but he pushes the words out nonetheless. It's been getting hard to hold it in, everyone coming out of the box like a bubbling soda from a bottle shaken too often before it got opened. 

One hand pulls down his hat - as if that'll hide anything - the other gripping the wet fabric of his shirt. His heart clenched like his fists do during his breakdown. Everything around him continues, the grey sky eerily looming over his grieving self, as though Kakyoin's death wasn't significant.

But it was.

To Jotaro, it feels like his heart is being torn out of his chest and crushed into millions of pieces. The teen couldn't help falling in love with him. 

The world is safe now, but to what cost? 

He would continue to sit on the ground in front of Kakyoin's grave for longer. He would question his own actions, yearn for his return and say all the things he should've said before his death. And when the time would have come to leave, cheeks puffy, teal eyes and nose red with snot that he would lick from his lips, he would mutter a broken 

"I love you", 

picking up the cigarette and lighter afterwards.

His life would then continue, but not without at least one daily thought directed to his lost lover. He would leave a cherry on his grave - they were his favourite fruit - at each visit, even if the birds would end up eating it. He would've moved on eventually.

...

He would have, if he sticked around for longer.