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Chapter Text

"Utterly disgusting!" sneered Minthara. "Simply distasteful."

Jen rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Thanks for your input, Minthy, but if you hate them so much, just ignore them."

"How? They start to take up every surface of the flat!"

"Come on, it's not that bad."

"It's an addiction," nodded Lae'zel.

Jen glared at her wife and hissed: "I thought you're on my side."

"Not when it comes to these abominations."

"They're fae-inspired creatures and very cute!"

"They make a mockery of the fae," retorted Minthara, their flatmate and the couple's long-term girlfriend. "And the fae should not be angered."

"The fae don't exists. They're a myth," sighed Jen, rolling her eyes again.

"Careful, or else your peepers will fall out of your head," teased Minthara, and Lae'zel snorted a very unsubtle laugh. Jen pouted, hugging her 7-Eleven and Walmart shopping bags closer.

"Leave me and my Spooky Season Limited Special Edition Labubus alone."

The two addressed women exchanged long-suffering looks. Jen's little hobby had started to turn into a problem. Minthara hadn't been wrong; Labubus were spread out everywhere across their home. For decoration, Jen said, but they all knew it was because no more dolls fit onto the shelves in her office. Neither Lae'zel nor Minthara understood the obsession with those ugly, plastic-faced monster dolls. They were the newest craze after Troll dolls, Furbies, Beanie Babies, Monchhichis, Sonny Angels, and whatnot. They weren't even cute nor useful! At least, Minthara's sex toy collection and Lae'zel weapon arsenal came in handy in everyday life. But Jen... she was a lost cause.

At home, the lawyer and the security guard had to endure the nurse's obnoxious squealing as she opened and unwrapped all the Labubus she got in those cash-grabbing surprise blind boxes.

"This entire shtick is such a scam," Minthara groused, pondering how she could sue the Chinese guy who'd created these furry, hyped-up sensations.

"Oh, my God!" shrieked Jen.

"What?" Lae'zel asked, instinctively flipping open her butterfly knife.

"I got the ultra rare, limited, special special edition!" Beaming, Jen held up an orange and purple striped Labubu with pumpkins as eyes and candy corn as teeth. "It's so cute!"

"It's ugly," deadpanned her wife, and Minthara nodded solemnly.

"You two are such killjoys," pouted Jen, turning her attention back to her many cardboard boxes, squeaky plastic wrappers, and dolls that could fill an entire garbage can and soon join other Labubu addicts' waste on a landfill.

"They'll be such cute décor for Halloween."

"Mhm," the other two grumbled in unison.

Later that night, they made good use of Minthara's slightly different toy collection. Jen moaned blissfully into Lae'zel's cunt while Minthara fucked her with her favourite strap-on. After Lae'zel squirted all over her wife's face and Jen came around the ribbed dildo, the three of them collapsed onto the spacious bed.

"Are you ready for more?" asked Minthara, kissing Jen's shoulder. "I'd like to try something new."

"Yeah, sure," smiled the addressed, eyes sparkling hornily. "What do you have in mind?"

Minthara's gaze flicked over and caught Lae'zel's. The two of them had discussed this over their third cup of coffee one morning and had decided to surprise their lover with the unconventional idea.

"We want to try fisting."

Jen snorted.

"Been there, done that. You were there, remember?"

"Yes, but we want to try fisting your pussy and ass at the same time," Minthara explained, bluntly. Jen's eyes widened for a second, then, she grinned.

"You two already talked about this. Naughty." Giggling, she kissed both of her lovers. "I'm up for it."

"Fantastic," purred Minthara.

She and Lae'zel strapped Jen into the sex swing that was hanging from the ceiling, putting her into the harness and using the straps to lift her legs up and to the side. Now, Jen was dangling in the air, legs spread, glistening cunt and plugged-up ass on display.

"Gorgeous", praised Lae'zel and kissed her wife. Meanwhile, Minthara grabbed the lube and settled on her knees behind her lover on the bed. She started moving the butt plug teasingly, turning and wiggling it until Jen was squirming and her pussy was dripping. With a pleased hum, Lae'zel licked the slick up and sucked on her wife's clit until she keened and thrashed in the contraption. Slowly, Lae'zel and Minthara inserted their fingers into Jen's cunt and ass respectively, stretching her enough to insert their fists. Jen moaned and cried out as she was so deliciously teased and filled.

"Ready for more?" asked Minthara, and when Jen breathed an enthusiastic "yes", she leaned forward to lick the rim, trying to wiggle her tongue inside. Lae'zel did the same in the front, but also flicked across the clit. Jen orgasmed with a blissful moan, squirting, and dreching the bed beneath, as she tensed and pulsed around her lovers' fists.

"You messy thing," chuckled Minthara and placed a kiss on the pale ass cheek in front of her.

"Keep going," panted Jen with her eyes blissfully closed.

So they did, working one finger after another into both her holes. Lae'zel was more successful than Minthara, and when her second fist popped through the ring of muscles, Jen came again, letting the praise wash over her and lull her in.

"Need more lube," muttered Minthara, crawled to the bedside table, and opened it. She was greeted by the sight of a grinning, white Labubu that was covered in a red heart pattern.

"Lady, have mercy!" groaned Minthara and angrily grabbed the lube and the fugly doll. "This nonsensical madness must stop!" She waved the Labubu around before slamming it onto the mattress and mashing its head in with her knee.

"That's last year's Valentine's Day Special!" cried Jen. "It's worth over 3'000gp on Ebay!"

"It should show you some love then," Minthara growled and shoved the obnoxious monstrosity up the blind box addict's ass. Jen squeaked and gasped in shock when the cool, smooth plastic face rubbed against her sensitive insides. The soft fur tickled as the Labubu was pushed deeper into her ass, followed by Minthara's hand. Suddenly, it hurt, an unbearable burning sensation, as if something had snapped, spreading through her ass.

"Shar!" wailed Jen, trying not to trash due to the pain. Immediately, everything stopped. Lae'zel slowly pulled her fists out of her cunt, causing Jen to come a third time. When the latter slumped in the sex swing, Minthara gently pulled out too, and the lube-soiled, slightly blood-dotted Labubu landed on the ejaculation-soaked sheets.

"What hurts?" Lae'zel demanded to know.

"My ass," whined Jen. "I think something tore."

"Shit." Carefully, Minthara tried to inspect the damage. "We get you down."

The addressed nodded weakly. The pain had killed the rest of her arousal and now, she was just tired and wanted to sleep. Her partners got her down and onto the bed. With careful fingers, Minthara checked Jen's abused ass.

"You're bleeding a bit, but it's not too bad. Lae, get a wet cloth and some salve."

The addressed gave a curt nod and kissed the top of her wife's head before rushing to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry," said Minthara. "I overestimated your ass' endurance."

At that, Jen snorted a laugh.

"You're such a dork," she replied softly. "I'll live."

Lae'zel returned, and she and Minthara fussed over Jen's precious anus until they were reassured a dozen times that she was okay and were shooed away. Thankfully, the tear wasn't so bad that it required a trip to the ER. That would have been embarrassing. Minthara cheered Jen up by telling her how one of her former BDSM sessions had gotten her masochistic sub into the hospital.

"And that's why I never leave a Whiskey bottle in the bedroom anymore," the blonde ended her tale proudly. Jen cried tears of laughter, the literal pain in her butt forgotten. Lae'zel, on the other hand, frowned deeply and asked: "Who even has a Whiskey bottle in their bedroom?"

"I did. Obviously," deadpanned Minthara.

When the laughter had finally died done, the trio snuggled up under the covers.

"We could try again," Jen threw into the dark and quiet room. That earned her a chuckle.

"Naughty girl. – And what did we learn?"

"That I won't keep my Labubus in the bedroom anymore."

Jen giggled gleefully when Lae'zel and Minthara groaned in exasperation.

Chapter Text

Wyll regretted his decision to let Astarion and Gale teach him about gay sex. He was only allowed to watch, obviously – they were too devoted to and too possessive of each other to let anyone join them – but it was still unnerving. Tensely, Wyll clicked his pen and stared at the scene before him. They had ordered Mexican food for dinner, and Astarion was using the last quesadilla as a cocksleeve, jerking Gale off. The latter came with a grunt, spilling into the food, and his boyfriend licked his dick clean before taking a big bite of the cum-covered quesadilla. Wyll grimaced.

"Must you? That's so disgusting."

"Oh, darling. To be disgusting is the best part about sex," grinned Astarion and took another bite. "If you want to suck and take cock, you need to appreciate the taste of cum."

"Absolutely," grinned Gale, still basking in his afterglow.

Wyll looked at them sceptically. Rolling his eyes, Astarion said: "It's not a big deal. Have you never eaten your own cum after masturbating."

"No."

"What the hells, mate." The blond barked an incredulous laugh as if Wyll was the weirdo in the room, and moved over to him. "Here. Take a bite and get accustomed to it."

"Absolutely not," Wyll replied, shaking his head vehemently. Astarion sighed deeply as if he was dealing with a petulant child.

"Do you want to have gay sex? Yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Then take a bite and start eating cum."

Despite bristling at the words, Wyll took the quesadilla from Astarion and bit into it. He tried not to chew too much and swallow quickly, but he still tasted something weird. At least, it didn't cause him to gag.

"And?" Astarion asked, looking at him expectantly.

"It's... fine," Wyll shrugged, feeling a bit helpless and stupid. Gale huffed.

"That's my cum we're talking about."

He sounded miffed which surprised Wyll a bit.

"Don't take it personal, love. He's not a connoisseur like us," purred Astarion and stole a kiss from his boyfriend. "You taste great, and I could eat you all day long."

Gale blushed, but shoved his tongue deep into Astarion's mouth while squeezing his ass. Wyll thought said behaviour was a paradox. Bravely, he took another bite from the quesadilla. It truly wasn't too bad. If every man tasted like this, he might be alright after all, Wyll mused.

"Okay, summarise what you've learned so far," Gale told him while Astarion snuggled up in his lap. Wyll glanced at his notes.

"When receiving a blowjob, you should ask before starting to thrust and establish if you're allowed to come in their mouth or not. Never hold or shove your partner down, except if explicitly agreed upon on earlier. When giving a blowjob, you usually start with some teasing licks and kisses before taking them in your mouth. When you're a beginner, don't overestimate yourself and try to deepthroat. It's okay if you'll never able to do the latter, and if your partner gives you shit for it or tries to force you to deepthroat, call everything off. Use your hands for the parts you cannot reach. It's okay, if you don't want to swallow."

"Very good," praised Gale. "You're an excellent student. A+."

"Thanks."

Wyll blushed a little and tried very hard not to think about how Gale had sucked Astarion's cock five minutes ago and had been called a blowjob queen by his boyfriend. Obviously, he failed and he fidgeted in the armchair as his dick hardened.

"Great!" Astarion clapped his hands. "Are you ready for the next step?"

When Wyll nodded, he jumped up from his boyfriend's lap, kicked his boxer briefs aside, and braced himself against the couch, his ass on full display. Wyll watched with bated breath as Gale got on his knees behind Astarion and spread his cheeks apart.

"If you want to be on the receiving end of anal sex, you need to prepare your hole for it. This includes washing and stretching it. Astarion's already prepared, but if you need help, we'll show you have to use a douche later. For now, I'll make sure he can take me."

"I can always take you, love," Astarion teased, wiggling his behind. Gale chuckled and squeezed his cheeks.

"It can be a part of foreplay to stretch your partner. I, certainly, think it's hot and I love doing it. Instead of using your fingers or toys, you can also use your tongue. Then, it's called rimming. Start by licking around the hole, relaxing the muscle, before pushing your tongue inside." Gale demonstrated, causing Astarion to moan and arch his back. "Take your time to do this properly. It prevents injuries and painful experiences. Plus, it's a turn-on."

Wyll nodded and scribbled into his notebook.

Gale started to eat Astarion out with gusto, and involved his fingers and plenty of lube after a few minutes – all while explaining the necessary steps. Wyll hung onto every word, taking notes and trying to ignore his achingly hard dick. Which was almost impossible with the way Astarion moaned and Gale went to town.

Finally, the latter deemed the former ready and stood up.

"Always use a condom to prevent STDs. Every party involved should get tested and make sure they're clean, if you want to do it raw. Since Astarion and I are monogamous, we know we're both clean. Plus, we love the feeling of being filled."

Gale shoved off his underwear, coated his erection with some lube, took a hold of Astarion's hips, and pushed inside. Astarion's eyes fell close and his mouth open in a loud, blissful moan.

"Does it really feel good?" asked Wyll.

"Yes. So good. – Fuck me, love."

And Gale did, enthusiastically so. The couple's moans, pants, and grunts were rather erotic to listen to, and the sight was better than any porn. Wyll palmed his dick through his pants.

"Here," panted Astarion and threw a pillow towards him. "Fuck yourself with it."

"Uhm, really?"

"Yeah. Gale used this MyPillow Body Pillow to help his aching knees, but after the company sponsored conservative political activities, we only use it when fucking."

"It's our way of rebelling," explained Gale.

"By defiling their pillow with our cum," grinned Astarion.

"Oookay," said Wyll, confused. He pulled his pants and boxers down, placed the pillow between his legs, and started to rub against it.

"Just like that, darling," moaned Astarion.

Wyll wasn't sure if he'd addressed him or Gale, but he listened anyway. His hips sped up and he humped the body pillow with desperation. Gale wrapped his hand around Astarion's weeping cock.

"Give your partner a hand and try to hit his prostate to get him off," he explained as he did just so.

Astarion cried out in ecstasy, barely able to hold himself up on the couch' side. Gale fucked him faster and harder, the slap of their skins obscenely loud in the room. Wyll matched Gale's speed with his own thrusts, clutching the pillow, notebook forgotten.

"Fuck, Gale! I'm close! Fill me up!"

Astarion climaxed with a cry, spurting all over the couch. Gale fucked him through it and came with a grunt, spilling inside him. The sight tipped Wyll over the edge too and he came all over the pillow with one last thrust. Dazed, he watch Gale pull out and the cum running down Astarion's legs. They collapsed onto the filthy couch in a heap of sweaty skin and tangled limbs. They exchanged lazy kisses and started eating each other's cum. For some reason, gay sex involved way more cum than straight sex. Wyll was too fucked out to take more notes.

Chapter Text

"It's almost done," murmured Astarion. "And now, for the pièce de résistance..."

He extended his lace-covered arm and elegantly held two locks of hair – one brown and one silver – over the candle flame. The couple watched with bated breath as the fire greedily consumed the hair, blackening and curling them before reducing them to ashes.

"Sar taran saren talas enna e immeeira. Sar thiramin. Ai armiel telere maenen hir," they whispered in unison. Then, they picked up the wine glass together and helped each other to drink from it. Finally, they sealed the deal with a kiss and blew out the candle.

"Ta-da! We're married now," Astarion giggled.

"Yes, in spirit," Gale chuckled, unable to keep himself from correcting his boyfriend, who pouted at him.

"And here I thought you are the romantic."

"I am."

Gale proved it by kissing the top of Astarion's nose. "Come here, love. Let's finalise our marriage."

Without waiting for an answer, the professor pulled the lawyer in for a hungry kiss. Astarion immediately surrendered, opening his mouth, leaning into it, and wrapping his arms around Gale's neck.

"Mmh, love you," he sighed. "I want to worship every inch of you and I start right here."

Gale let out a startled squeak when Astarion shoved the tip of his tongue into his left nostril.

"What on Toril was that?!"

"Nostril worship?"

They burst into laughter.

"That felt weird," Gale said, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. "I'd prefer if you'd worship another part of me. Any other part, actually."

"Okay," grinned Astarion, shoved him backwards onto the carpet, pulled the purple sweatpants down, and swallowed Gale's flaccid cock down to the root in one go.

"God, you'll be the death of me," groaned Gale.

"Do you want to fuck or live, darling?" Astarion asked cheekily.

"Fuck. Definitely. You're worth dying for," the addressed answered, a tad too genuinely.

"God, you're a sap, but I love that about you."

Astarion took Gale's cock back in his mouth. He took pride in getting his boyfriend hard immediately and causing him to spill quickly. Gale groaned as if he was dying, riding out his high. Astarion finally pulled back, licking his lips obscenely, and freed his leaking dick.

"Come here. It's your turn," Gale told him sweetly, opened his mouth and lolled out his tongue. It did something funny to Astarion's insides.

"God, you're perfect, love," he whispered and kissed Gale's forehead before sliding his cock into the most talented mouth in Faerûn. Astarion fucked into it with abandon, moaning gutturally when he came, and Gale swallowed it all dutifully. Panting, Astarion rolled off of him and collapsed onto the carpet beside him.

"Love you," he slurred, sex-drunk.

"Love you too."

They exchanged sloppy, cum-flavoured kisses until they were hard once more.

Chapter Text

"Ow!" cried Astarion with his face buried in a pillow.

"Sorry," mumbled Karlach as she tried to spread the cottage cheese on his sunburnt back as gently as possible.

Apparently, the tadpole let him walk in the sun but did not save him from a sunburn. Understandably, Astarion was upset about it.

"A sunburnt vampire. What a joke!" he growled. "If this is the Gods' idea of humour, I'm willing to – Ooow! What the hells, Karlach!"

"I'm doing my best here, soldier, but it's looking really bad. Your skin's peeling off already."

"What?!" shrieked Astarion, panicked. "Is that supposed to happen, or am I slowly dying?"

"Nah. That's normal if a sunburn's really bad," Karlach assured him. "I don't speak from experience though. I cannot burn." Grinning, she flexed her biceps, her red skin glistening due to a sheen of sweat. "Perks of being a tiefling."

"Lucky you," grumbled Astarion. Then, he cocked her head. "What happened to your front teeth?"

"Oh, this?" Karlach stuck her tongue through the gap, immediately regretting it and winching. "They got knocked out during the fight. Those githyanki were tough."

"Yes. And on top of that, we almost got buried under rubble because our darling leader's greedy and wanted that stupid, glowing mace at all costs."

Karlach hummed in agreement and peeled a long strip of skin off Astarion's back. The latter grimaced.

"Ugh, disgusting."

"Chin up," the tiefling replied cheerfully before dabbing another glob of cottage cheese onto the awful sunburn.

"Why hasn't anyone healed your missing teeth yet?"

"Same reason they haven’t healed you; they're all out of magic juice."

"Of course."

"It's alright. Halsin promised to heal me tomorrow."

"That's good. At least, his brain hadn't been scrambled by a tadpole – yet."

At that, his self-assigned nurse guffawed.

Astarion wouldn't admit it aloud, but Karlach was the only one of the group he trusted enough to tend to his back. He felt safe with her, and thanks to Dammon's repairs, she could touch people again without scorching their skin off. Apropos scorched skin...

"How long do you think it'll take for it to heal naturally?" Astarion asked. Karlach shrugged.

"No clue, Fangs, especially since you're a vampire and can heal much faster than regular folks."

"But only if I have enough blood." Astarion sighed dramatically. "And I haven't had enough today."

"I'll catch a boar for you!" laughed Karlach. Astarion's eyes widened comically and he fluttered his lashes.

"Really, darling? I'd be forever grateful."

"Sure, Fangs," beamed the tiefling and accidently slapped him on the shoulder out of reflex. Astarion howled and cursed in three different languages. Karlach was impressed.

"Woops," she said, lamely and way too late. "I'll go hunting now. Be good."

"Never," hissed Astarion, his shoulder still throbbing with pain. Chuckling, the tiefling exited his tent.

To be honest, Astarion was a bit surprised when Karlach returned a few hours later with a deer. She helped Gale string it up on a nearby tree to let it bleed out and be skinned. It took a while longer until Karlach made her way to Astarion's tent with a bucket, the smell of the wizard's hearty stew in the air.

"Rise and shine! Din-din's here!"

"Never use that word again, darling."

"What word?"

"You know which one."

"No," grinned Karlach, and Astarion sighed deeply.

"You just want me to say it, don't you?"

"Nooo, never." Karlach's grin widened, and Astarion glared at her for good measure.

"Call it dinner or supper."

"Killjoy." Snickering, the tiefling set the bucket down next to Astarion's bedroll. "I don't know how much blood you need to heal all that damaged skin, so I brought you all of it. The sunburn's pretty awful."

"Well, we'll see, I guess," sighed Astarion and sat up with a groan. "Gods, that hurts. But I had worse."

"That's not as reassuring as you think it is," muttered Karlach, nudging the bucket closer to Astarion, who looked slightly off-put.

"Do you expect me to drink straight from the bucket?"

"Uhm, yeah."

"How barbaric."

"I say it's practical."

Astarion snorted, but didn't argue. Instead, he lifted the surprisingly heavy vessel and started chugging the hot blood.

"Gale told me to warm it up over the fire to make it tastier for you," Karlach explained helpfully. "I hope it's good."

Astarion couldn't answer verbally with his mouth full, but he made an appreciative noise. Apparently, that was enough, and Karlach sat back on her haunches, hands fidgeting in her lap as she curiously observed how Astarion drank the blood greedily and at record speed. The sight was rather hot, the tiefling had to admit to herself, and it caused her stomach to do excited, little flips. Suddenly, Astarion lowered the bucket, looked straight at her with half-hooded eyes, and licked his blood-stained lips clean. A pleasantly shiver ran down Karlach's spine as she watched.

"You’re enjoying this, aren't you?" purred Astarion, lowly. "Don't deny it, darling. I can hear your heartbeat and the blood rushing through your veins."

"Oh," the addressed whispered, swallowing thickly. "It's... hot. To watch you feed. I – uhm..."

"Karlach." Astarion smirked at her.

"Hm?"

"I can smell your arousal."

"Uhm..."

"You are awfully pent up, aren't you? When was the last time anyone touched you? Sexually, I mean?"

"It's been..." She tried counting in her head, but was too distracted, "... a couple of years."

"Oh, darling," purred Astarion, scooting closer and wrapping his arms around her neck. "Let me help."

When their lips met, Karlach tasted blood. She didn't mind and let him explore her mouth. She couldn't help but giggle when Astarion tongued at the gap caused by her missing teeth.

"Hm, what else can that tooth gap do, apart from making you lisp?" snickered Astarion. Karlach stuck the tip of her forked tongue through it and wiggled it up and down.

"Oh, my," purred Astarion. "I'd love that tongue somewhere else."

Karlach suddenly felt hotter than usual and sighed happily when Astarion pulled her into another sloppy kiss. His deft fingers opened her leather trousers and snuck inside, playing with her curly pubes and rubbing against her entrance. Karlach couldn't hold back a guttural groan.

"Pent-up, aren't we, darling?"

"Mmh, yes. Very."

"Let me help?"

"Please."

Any further pleas were silenced by Astarion's lips on hers as he started finger-fucking her and thumbing her clit. Moaning, Karlach gyrated her hips, chasing her pleasure. His touch felt pleasantly cool against her overheated skin.

"You're so hot – in more than one sense. I love it," murmured Astarion, and Karlach fell apart on his clever fingers. With a pleased hum, the vampire spawn withdrew his hand and licked up her slick.

"Mmh, delicious," he purred, pupils blown. His reaction seemed genuine, Karlach thought, but nevertheless, she asked: "Are you comfortable doing this? And do you want to do more?"

"Yes," he answered simply. "Take your clothes off, darling."

The tiefling almost face-planted into the ground in her haste to undress. Astarion chuckled amused as he followed suit. They kissed again, and the vampire spawn rubbed the tip of his tongue back and forth against her exposed gum.

"Stop tonguing the tooth gap," giggled Karlach.

"Why?" Astarion smirked. "It's fun."

"For you."

"Oh, come on, darling. You like it too."

"Yeah," she admitted with a sigh. "I pretty much like anything slightly sexual right now."

"Then let's take advantage of that, shall we?"

Astarion used his vampiric strength to push her down onto his bedroll, and excitement sparked in Karlach's stomach.

"That's hot," she voices her thoughts. Astarion simply winked at her before crawling on top of her and sucking on a nipple. She whined, bucking her hips up.

"Patience, darling," Astarion smirked, running his tongue all the way up her sternum and neck to nibble on her earlobe.

"Fuck patience," growled Karlach. "I was – ah! – patient in all the years I was trapped in Avernus."

"You're right, of course," agreed Astarion. "Fuck patience." He kissed her deeply while massaging her breasts. "Are you ready to take me, darling?"

"Fuck yes!" grinned the addressed. Smirking, Astarion drew back and stroke his dick to show it off. Karlach licked her lips and wrapped her hand around his girth.

"Mmh... You'll feel so fucking good," she sighed.

"What flattery," replied Astarion. He knew he was of average size, but he also knew that technique was everything. He freed his dick from Karlach's grasp, interlaced their fingers, and sunk into her soft, wet cunt. The heat of it was almost his undoing and he paused after bottoming out.

"Gods... You're perfect."

Karlach's answering moan was his cue to start moving.

"Yes! Fuck yes!" she cried and hooked a leg around his buttocks to encourage him to thrust faster and harder, her tail thrashing wildly. Astarion had to close his eyes, not because of the desire to dissociate but due to how good it felt. He leaned down to claim Karlach's mouth once more, groaning at the way her forked tongue caressed his. Despite being a professional, Astarion's climax built faster than usual and it took him by surprise.

"I won't last," he panted. "I'm close already."

"'s alright," Karlach told him. "Come. Inside."

"Oh," gasped Astarion and spilled deep into her hot clutch. Moaning, the tiefling stilled her hips to feel everything, pulsing around him. For a moment, the vampire spawn rested on her broad chest, gasping for unnecessary breath. Karlach stroke his hair and gently scratched her sharp nails across his scalp. When his arms and legs no longer felt like jelly, Astarion kissed her sweetly before descending. Incredulous and wide-eyed, Karlach watched as he latched his mouth onto her cunt and started lapping up their combined juices, licking his own cum out of her with gusto.

"Oh! Oh, fuuuck!" groaned the tiefling, slamming her head back into the pillow and coming on Astarion's cool tongue. He kept licking her clean until she batted him away with an overstimulated whimper.

They rested next to each other, catching their breath and recharging. For a while, they were quiet and still – well, Karlach tried very hard to be, but sighed, hummed, and fidgeted nonstop – and for some reason, Astarion found it endearing. A thought had formed in his head, a very specific desire that overtook his entire brain. After mulling it over a couple of times, Astarion dared to voice it.

"Karlach, darling, would you be opposed to... to fuck my ass?"

"Opposed?" She barked a laugh. "I'd love to fuck you."

"That's settled then," grinned the vampire spawn and sat up. "Alright, where did I put... Hmm, I think over here."

On all fours, he made his way over to one of his bags to retrieve a vial of oil. The position provided Karlach with the perfect view of his exposed ass. Smirking, she rolled onto her knees.

"Hey, Fangs, do vampires poop?"

"What? No."

"Just checking."

"What fooo–" Astarion's question morphed into a startled moan when Karlach licked across his hole. "Oh, Gods!"

"Nope. Just me," she joked before sticking her forked tongue into his ass. Astarion whine, high-pitched, and pushed back against her, asking for more. Karlach complied, holding his cheeks apart while rimming him like her life depended on it. Astarion trembled due to the intensity. He hadn't felt this good in decades.

"Karlach," he whined. "Close."

Humming, she continued eating him out while sneaking a hand around to jerk him off. Astarion came with a loud, blissful moan. Karlach drew back with an obscene slurp and licked her palm clean.

"Mmh. Haven't tasted anyone else in years," she sighed, happily licking up the vampire spawn's cum.

Heavy-lidded, Astarion gazed at her, and with a start, he realised how fond he was of her.

"More?" he asked hopefully.

"Gladly," beamed Karlach. "If that's what you want."

"It is," answered Astarion, surprised that it was true. He handed her the oil and she patted her thick thighs invitingly.

"You can sit right here while I finger you."

Not letting that offer go to waste, Astarion crawled into her lap, wrapped his arms around her neck, and shoved his tongue into her mouth. They stopped long enough for Karlach to coat her fingers with the oil and rub at his entrance before kissing again. The first finger slipped in with ease, down to the knuckle. Astarion moaned at the feeling, revelling in it. Karlach could quickly add a second digit and thrust them in and out, searching for his prostate. She was rewarded with a loud whine and a full body shudder when she found it.

"Good?" she grinned.

"Fantastic," slurred Astarion, drooling a little.

Karlach finger-fucked him while his cock found friction against her belly. Astarion's third orgasm took a bit longer, but was no less intense. He bit down on her shoulder as he came apart on her fingers, spilling between their bellies. As he collapsed against her sturdy chest he murmured "sorry" and apologetically licked at the bite wound until it was healed. Karlach simply hummed, holding onto his ass cheeks to keep him in place and kneading them lightly. She wasn't into the entire biting thing, but she could forgive a faux pas.

After a moment, Astarion asked: "Do you have something to fuck me with?"

"Uhm..." Karlach let go of him and rummaged through her backpack that she'd deposited in his tent before applying the cottage cheese to his back. Apropos cottage cheese; that stuff was smeared everywhere now. They'd made a proper mess, but Karlach didn't care much about it at the moment – and neither did Astarion.

"I only have this," the tiefling said, holding up a square piece of wood. Astarion squinted at it.

"What the hells is this? One of Halsin's whittling projects? It looks like a missing peg of a wardrobe."

"Well, actually, it's a stake," Karlach admitted, bashfully. "And I was the one who made it. Not for you, of course, but Cazador."

A warm feeling spread through Astarion at those words. He adored her.

"Penetrate me with your stake, darling," he teased, put a hand over his heart and dramatically faked his death. It earned him a boisterous laugh.

"You're such an oaf, Fangs! Gods, I love you."

For a second, Karlach's eyes widened in shock at her confession, and Astarion thought she'd backpedal, or add something like "as a friend", but instead, a blush and a bashful smile spread across the tiefling's face and she told him: "I mean it."

"Oh." Astarion was stunned and sure that if his heart could beat, it would do so very fast right now. "I… I love you too."

It was said tentatively, almost in a whispers as if not to break a spell. These three words had tumbled from the vampire spawn's lips hundreds of times, but it had never meant anything – until now. The way Karlach's face lit up upon hearing them made Astarion feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips and on the bridge of his nose.

"Love ya," she said again. "Want to make you feel good too."

"You already did," replied Astarion, truthfully.

They rearranged their limbs and he ended up bent over her left thigh on all fours while Karlach kneeled with her legs spread apart. The tiefling ran a hand up the pale elf's spine – the cottage cheese was pretty much gone and smeared over everything at this point – and remarked: "You've healed nicely."

"Are the scars gone too?"

"No."

"Shame."

Karlach ran a soothing hand up his back again before applying a generous amount of oil on his crack and the stake-turned-sex toy. She placed the tip of it against Astarion's hole and asked: "Ready?"

When he nodded, Karlach slowly pushed the square peg into him, watching hornily how his ass spread around it and swallowed it. Astarion moaned, resting his head on his lower arms.

"Fuck me," he begged.

His eyes rolled back in his head as Karlach complied. She spread his cheeks apart with one hand while she thrusted the stake into him with the other, ramming it into his prostate dead-on. The vampire spawn mewled, panted, and drool onto his bedroll. It felt wonderful.

"Harder!" he cried, arching his back. "Deeper!"

Karlach watched in awe how expertly Astarion took each thrust and she almost lost her grip on the peg when she pushed it in too deeply.

"Next time, I'll do this properly and fuck you with a strap-on," she promised. Astarion groaned gutturally at the thought, his dick twitching and leaking as he rutted against Karlach's thigh. The ridges of her skin provided perfect stimulation (perks of bedding a tiefling).

"I need more," he whined. "Please!"

He sobbed in frustration when Karlach removed the stake. But he wasn't left empty for long. Astarion's eyes rolled back and his mouth fell open in a silent cry as Karlach pushed her spaded tail into him.

"Yes!" he groaned, blissfully. His partner hummed and started moving her tail, its widest edges catching on his rim each time it was withdrawn.

"Harder! I want to feel it in my throat!"

"Holy shit, Fangs," murmured Karlach, her cunt throbbing at the image. She pushed her tail deeper into him. And kept going. And going. Astarion keened at how full he felt, and when she started thrusting once more and the tail brush across his prostate, he climaxed with a wail.

"Don't stop, don't stop," he begged, gyrating his hips in tandem with Karlach's movements. Little mewls escaped his open mouth while his half-hard cock was drooling onto his partner's thigh. He was seized by a full body shudder and came dry. Carefully, Karlach eased her tail out of him despite his protesting whine. Impressed, she ran a finger around his gaping hole.

"You took me so well," she praised, peppering his freshly healed back with kisses.

"Mmh." Sighing contently, Astarion flipped over and gazed at her with eyes on half-mast. "You should check for splinters. Just to make sure."

"Of course. For science, eh?"

"Solely for science," grinned Astarion and spread his legs wider to accommodate her breadth. Karlach laughed, incredulous.

"How the hells are you still hard?"

"Combination of Elven stamina and vampiric perks, darling," the addressed answered, flippantly.

"Handy," chuckled Karlach and carefully slid two fingers into him, rubbing them against his inner walls.

"Any splinters here?" she asked, teasingly.

"No. You need to search further," grinned Astarion. Karlach brushed over his prostate, making him gasp.

"Yes, right there!"

The fingers exerted more pressure, rubbing up and down and in circles. Astarion moaned and squirmed at the touch.

"Yes, loads of splinters right here," giggled Karlach and wrapped her lips around his cock. The vampire spawn keened, bucking up into her mouth and touch, chasing his next orgasm frantically. He came undone quickly again, pulsing around her fingers and coming down her throat. Looking utterly content and slightly smug, Karlach withdrew her fingers and licked his dick clean.

"Come here, love," Astarion murmured, opening up his arms. Karlach lay down and embraced him.

"Mmh, that was amazing," she sighed and kissed his cheek. "I'd love to do this again with you."

"How about tomorrow?" asked Astarion while caressing her scarred arm.

"Sounds like a fantastic plan," she grinned.

"Oh, Gods no!" complained Wyll loudly, who's been sitting by the fire and had been one of the involuntary witnesses of their depraved carnal lust.

"Selûne, have mercy," whined Shadowheart.

"Mating's an important part of bonding," Lae'zel remarked, matter-of-factly.

"Lae'zel's right," noted Halsin. "They just did as nature intended."

"That's splendid, of course, but I'll still cast Silence next time," retorted Gale.

"You know how to cast Silence and didn't use it?" shrieked Shadowheart, and the wizard sputtered.

"I think they heard everything. Woops," snickered Karlach.

"Well, these tent walls aren't soundproof," chuckled Astarion.

"Yes! We heard everything!" caterwauled Wyll.

Astarion and Karlach started giggling like crazy and cuddled up while the rest of their ragtag group tried to get the sounds of their coupling out of their heads (and failed).

Chapter Text

Jen was determined to finish the 30-day Moonmaiden Body, Mind, and Soul Detox Course and to completely change her life and become her true self. After her turbulent childhood in a cult, escaping and surviving on the streets until she was able to keep her head above water with crappy, poorly paid jobs, she deserved to find her inner goddess and fully develop her potential.

"Let go of all the past pain in your life," came the soft voice of one of the instructors and founders of the course through her headphones. "With every inhale, you breathe in new and positive energy, and with every exhale, you breathe out all the old and negative energy. Feel your body, mind, and soul getting lighter with each breath cycle. It's okay to feel negative feelings such as anger, frustration, disappointment, anxiety, sadness, and resentment. Feel it one last time before letting it go forever. The goal isn't to forget your past, but to detach emotions from it. The memories can stay, but the attached negative feelings are released. You no longer need them. They no longer serve your purpose. Breathe in and out and let your thoughts and emotions flow naturally."

Jen followed today's meditation religiously, and when she was done, she removed her headphones, stretched out her arms and legs, stood up, and poured herself another cup of herbal tea. She drank it mindfully, focusing on the hot beverage with all her senses. Now, it was time for the daily cleansing enema to support her body's natural detox process. Jen went through the necessary steps of preparing everything for the procedure: covering her bed with a plastic sheet, mixing warm water with pH-balanced solution and filling the enema with it, and coating the nozzle with Vaseline. Then, she walked back to her bedroom. There, Jen lay down on the bed on her side, pulled up her legs, and carefully inserted the nozzle into her anus. She took a few deep, slow breaths before squeezing the bulb and injecting the liquid into her bowels. She continued her mindful breathing and tried to hold it all in for five minutes. Then, Jen waddled to the bathroom to explosively defecate and cleanse out her gut.

She repeated the process two more times until the ejected fluid came out clean. Jen wiped her butt and was proud of herself for regulating her body's acid–base homeostasis. Despite being only halfway through her detox and self-discovery course, she already felt much better than when she'd started. After the fastening time, an alkaline diet would follow which should be continued even after finishing the course. Jen was in high spirits.

Said high spirits were tainted a tad when she left the bathroom and encountered Minthara, her flatmate, in the corridor.

"Still on your overprized health trip with a placebo effect?" jibed Minthara. Jen huffed.

"It's not a placebo effect if it works."

"That's exactly what it is."

"Ugh! Leave me alone with your negativity! I don't need your toxic energy around me."

Jen stomped back to her room, taking deep cleansing breaths to get rid of her irritation.

"Instead of listening to some lifestyle guru influencers who swindle you out of your money, you should see a therapist," Minthara told her.

"Get out of my room!" hissed Jen, her temper flaring up against her will. She'd done so well at feeling content before her flatmate brought out her ugly character flaw. Jen was disappointed in herself for getting riled up. That's not what a goddess does.

Her eye twitched when Minthara pointedly stayed rooted on the spot, arms folded in front of her chest, and a look of pity on her pretty face.

"It is of no use to search for your 'inner goddess' if you are still consumed by religious guilt."

"I'm not –"

"You're ashamed of feeling negative emotions and undressing, Jenny. You want your body to be a temple, but you are ashamed to decorate it and show it off. You want to be above everything, yet you still see natural things like sex as something disgusting and filthy. You rushed headfirst from one devotion to another. Now, it's just spiritual instead of religious, and you no longer worship God but some charlatans. Instead of following the rules of the Bible, you follow the guidance of wannabe gurus. But in essence, it's the same thing."

"It's not!" yelled Jen, clenching her fists as angry tears started pricking her eyes. "It's not the same."

Minthara cocked her head to the side and enquired: "Is it not?"

"You don't get it," muttered Jen. "I - I want to feel good about myself for once. I have so many unpleasant, undesirable feelings that I need to get rid of in order to become the person I want to be."

"Oh, Jenny," sighed Minthara. "That's not how it works. What you feel is justified, and it doesn't make you a bad or inferior person. You went through some shit and you're allowed to be angry about it."

"But anger's such an bad emotion," Jen retorted, feeling ashamed. "I want to be better than this."

Minthara sighed, rubbing her forehead, before answering: "No emotion is bad, no matter what the Bible or those influencers say. All emotions are part of being human and serve a purpose. The things we feel exist to draw our attention to something. The only thing you're allowed to feel guilty about is how you react to them – if at all."

Jen mulled it over, but couldn't fully agree with her flatmate. Minthara seemed to sense it though.

"Strip," she demanded.

"What?" Jen held her bathrobe closed. "No!"

"Strip, Jenny. Don't be ashamed of being in your birthday suit."

"I'm not undressing while you're here."

"Why not?"

"It's immodest."

"Really? Wouldn't you undress in front of your boyfriend either?"

"That's different."

"Is it?"

"Of course!"

"I don't believe you."

"Pardon?"

"I don't believe you wouldn't be embarrassed to undress in front of a potential boyfriend."

"That's none of your business."

"You're too ashamed to be naked because you were taught that it is. Did you never ask yourself why that's the case? If God didn't want us to be naked, why aren't we covered in fur, or born with clothes on?"

"You're ridiculous!"

"Am I?" Minthara smirked. "I don't think I'm the ridiculous one here." She stepped closer to Jen. "Undress for me."

There was something in the air as they stared at each other, and Jen felt a shiver run down her spine. She swallowed thickly before opening the bathrobe and letting it fall to the floor.

"Beautiful," murmured Minthara, gently touching Jen's collarbone. "Don't hide your perfect body under oversized clothes. Show off your temple with pride. Decorate it and let people worship it."

The addressed opened her mouth but no words came out. She didn't know what to say. Minthara's hand trailing along her arms and flanks felt nice, and Jen got goosebumps. She gasped when her flatmate lapped at a pebbled nipple – and then gently sucked at the other. Jen whimpered at the unfamiliar feeling, lifting her arms to hold onto Minthara, who shot her a knowing look.

"Beautiful," he latter repeated, kissing Jen's neck. "Lay down for me."

Jen nodded, mouth running dry, as she moved towards her bed. Minthara rushed out of the room, and for a moment, Jen feared it all had been some kind of sick joke. She trembled a bit, suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of shame. She shouldn't fool around with another woman. It was wrong and unnatural, plus, she should wait until marriage before engaging in anything sexual. It wasn't too late to say no and preserve her virginity. Jen took a deep breath and shook her head with a huff. No. She had promised herself to no longer follow constrictive rules that made her feel bad about herself. Jen wanted to experience whatever Minthara planned to do. And being with a woman was less scary than being with a man, she had to admit to herself.

Minthara returned, holding multiple items in her hands, but Jen was too distracted by her own thoughts to register them. Minthara sat down on the bed next to Jen and asked: "Are you ready? I want to make you feel good."

"Yes," breathed Jen, nodding eagerly. Something akin to relief crossed Minthara's face before she kissed Jen's cheek. Then, she stood and stripped, and Jen finally got a good look at her flatmate's naked body. It was pretty, lean, and the skin looked so soft. Jen's fingers twitched with the strong urge to touch Minthara. The latter seemed so comfortable in her body and her nakedness.

"Lay down and roll onto your side, Jenny. I'll make you feel so good you'll forget your God and gurus."

The addressed's breath hitched as she complied, her heart hammering in her chest, her legs trembling, and arousal churning in her stomach. She wanted this so badly. Whatever 'this' entailed.

Minthara brushed a hand along Jen's hips and thigh, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. Jen gasped when the nozzle of her enema was inserted into her ass.

"I'm already clean," she murmured.

"I know," chuckled Minthara, "but I know how much you like the feeling of it."

Jen flushed with embarrassment and shame. She knew she was not quite right in the head (the community she grew up in had told her often enough), but having Minthara point it out was almost too much to bear. Holding back tears, Jen hid her face in the pillow, wishing to disappear.

"None of that, Jenny," Minthara told her. "Don't be ashamed. I like that you're a bit freaky."

Surprised, the addressed turned her head around and saw her flatmate's blown pupils and bitten lips. Oh. Minthara was turned on by this. Before Jen could say anything, she received another kiss on the cheek. Then, Minthara started moving the nozzle in and out of Jen's hole and rubbing two fingers over her clit. Jen couldn't hold back a loud moan, her cunt throbbing with arousal and her ass wantonly clenching around the intrusion.

"That's it," purred Minthara. "Relax and enjoy it. You're so beautiful. I'm so lucky to see you like this, because I know how many people would love to be in my position." She changed the pace, pushing the nozzle deeper with each thrust. "Imagine it to be a little cock that's fucking you. A cocklet driving deep into your ass while its owner whispers their devotion into your ear." Minthara started rolling her hips into Jen's backside, making her groan at the mental image. "The cocklet fucks you deep and good before –" She squeezed the bulb and lukewarm water flooding Jen's hole, "– spilling into you."

Jen cried out as she was filled to the brim, squirting over Minthara's fingers in the process. Her guilt-ridden mind went blank and euphoria spread throughout her entire body, making her feel warm and heavy. Jen sighed happily when Minthara kiss her shoulder again. The nozzle was removed and she was rolled onto her back, her glistening cunt on full display. Jen didn't feel ashamed anymore. Minthara bent down and lapped at her cunt, tracing her labia before sucking on the clit. Jen moaned and bucked her hips up as she was eaten out so enthusiastically. Her toes curled, her belly clenched, and her clit pulsed. Jen orgasmed a second time, ejaculating all over Minthara's face. In the process, she accidently squeezed the enema fluid out of her ass, and it gushed all over the waterproof bedspread. Before Jen could feel embarrassed about it, Minthara said: "You're perfect. So beautiful."

With a groan, she sucked on Jen's cunt, licking up some more fluids. Jen wiggled a bit, suddenly aware of the huge wet spot she was lying on. Minthara seemed to get the message and pushed the soaked blanket off the bed. Then, she grabbed the tuning fork that she had brought along and tapped it against her palm. A soft sound rang out, filling the quiet room with a gentle serenity. Minthara held the stem of the tuning fork against Jen's nipple, letting her feel the vibration. Jen gasped as the hum went from her nipple straight to her belly. Minthara smirked knowingly and repeated the process on the other side, circling the vibrating tuning fork around the areola. Jen whined lowly, involuntarily spreading her legs wider. Minthara licked across both her nipples and placed a kiss at her sternum. Then, she activated the tuning fork again and placed it on Jen's pubic mound. Jen's eyes rolled back in her head, feeling her cunt constrict around nothing. She cried out in bliss when Minthara inserted the vibrating stem into her cunt, stimulating her g-spot. Jen was close to another orgasm. Minthara pulled out the improvised sex toy and held it out to Jen.

"Lick it clean and taste yourself, Jenny. It's the best way to get in tune with yourself."

Jen giggled at the silly pun – Minthara snickered too – and lapped up her own slick, revelling in the taste. Everyone of her former community would be appalled, but she didn't care. While liking the stem of the tuning fork like an ice lolly, Jen curiously observed how Minthara fastened a harness around her hips and coated the strap-on dildo in lube.

"Turn around."

Jen knew what would follow (she had watched some porn despite feeling guilty about it, but she'd been too curious to leave it be) and settled on all fours. With gentle hands, Minthara guided her down onto her elbows, encouraging her to arch her back and show off her ass in the process. She placed a kiss on Jen's left butt cheek, straightened up, and slowly pushed the dildo into her. Jen gasped at the unfamiliar feeling and tensed a bit when there was a quick, sharp pain that vanished after a few seconds.

"You're doing so well, Jenny," praised Minthara, caressing her thighs, and the addressed relaxed.

When she'd bottomed out, she asked: "How does it feel to be so full of my cock?"

"Good," groaned Jen. "So good."

"I'm going to fuck you until you see stars," promised Minthara. "And you know what's the best thing about it? We can fuck as much as we want and none of us will get pregnant."

Minthara pulled out before thrusting back in, setting a slow but deep pace. Jen grasped at the bedsheets and moaned unbashfully, happily awaiting another orgasm. She moaned loudly when Minthara pressed a little egg-shaped vibrator against her clit, offering her additional stimulation. Minthara slid it back a little, holding it down where they were connected, sending vibrations down the dildo and deep into Jen's cunt.

"More," groaned Jen. "Please, Mint, more."

The addressed complied, fucking her faster and harder.

"Yes!" cried Jen, blissfully. "Yes!"

"Isn't it beautiful how much we learn about ourselves during sex?" mused Minthara. "By discovering your kinks and preferences, you’ll learn more about your true self than you would through a detox." She sounded a bit breathless as she kept pistoning her hips. "For example, I can see how much you like being fucked. I can also tell that you'd like anal by the way your asshole's winking at me." She trailed a finger across the rim, making Jen whimper. "One day, I'll take my time with you, prepare your hole thoroughly, and will fuck your tight, little ass. But for now, I have a solution."

With these words, Minthara slowly pushed the little egg-shaped vibrator against Jen's anus, letting it be swallowed slowly. Jen cried out, overwhelmed by the amazing sensation. She'd never felt so loved and taken care of before. It brought tears to her eyes, she felt so good and didn't want it to end. But her body thought otherwise. Jen climaxed a third time, trembling like a sapling in a storm. Her legs gave out and the only thing keeping her buttocks up was Minthara's strong grip on her thighs. Her flatmate switched off the vibrator and removed it, as well as the dildo. Minthara gently lowered Jen's hips down before stripping off the harness, laying down, and wrapping an arm around her. Jen was blissfully fucked out, feeling neither shame nor worries, and traced random shapes along Minthara's stomach.

"How are you?" her flatmate asked.

"Great," answered Jen, truthfully. "I don't think I've ever felt so good before."

"Do you feel closer to your true self?"

"I – I think so. Maybe."

"You know," Minthara turned her head to look at Jen, "if you want to experience enlightenment once more, you can just ask me to fuck you again. We can explore every single kink and sex position in existence to find out what you like."

Jen hummed, cuddling closer and experimentally sliding a leg across Minthara's thigh. It felt fantastic and peaceful. There was only one thing worrying her.

"Mint..."

"Hm?"

"Can we – Are we –" Jen bit her lip. "Are we girlfriends now?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I..." Anxiously, Jen but her lip again, scared of rejection. Minthara caressed her shoulder in a soothing motion and said: "We can be girlfriends if that's what you want."

"Really?" Jen look at her with big, pleading eyes. "I - I really want to."

"Then that's settled," spoke Minthara. "We're officially in a relationship now. Happy?"

"Very," smiled Jen. Minthara smiled back before she leaned over to kiss her. A real kiss. On the lips and all. Jen threw an arm around Minthara's neck, sighing happily. When her flatmate-turned-girlfriend gently pried open her mouth and slipped her tongue inside, Jen felt dizzy with happiness and arousal. She hadn't known that kissing could feel so good. She already knew she'd never tire of kissing Minthara.

When they finally parted, they were both panting. They cuddled closer, covering themselves with a blanket and basked in the afterglow.

"Can we have sex again later?" asked Jen, sleepily.

"Yes, as much as you want," chuckled Minthara, pressing a kiss to Jen's head. With a happy, little hum, Jen slipped into a restful sleep, dreaming about being fucked with the enema again.

Chapter Text

The Stormshore Tabernacle was full to bursting and, as so often, Astarion and Gale had retreated to the balcony to escape the stern looks of the pious church members. Minister Humbletoes droned on about the importance of marriage and childrearing, but the young men didn't listen. They'd lost their faith in God the moment they'd realised they were queer. They had found solace in each other and explored their sexuality together. They were secretly dating for the past three years, but couldn't tell a soul about it. They were too scared of the hateful and probably violent reactions of the townspeople. That's what they got for being born queer in the most conservative part of the country.

Minister Humbletoes was in the middle of indoctrinating the church members with the belief that everyone was born with inherited sin, and the only way to redeem oneself was by being devoted to God at all costs, when Astarion nudged Gale with his foot and cheekily showed off what was beneath his church-appropriate, straight-legged, black dress pants. Gale immediately started salivating. His boyfriend was wearing light blue lace panties. A huge middle finger to the stereotypical gender roles and norms that were preached in this very building.

"Star," whispered Gale, in awe. "It's beautiful."

"And hot," added the addressed with a pout. Gale smiled.

"And hot," he agreed and pulled his boyfriend into a kiss. Up here, they were successfully hidden from judgemental eyes and ears. With a happy hum, Astarion straddled Gale's thighs and started rubbing up against him.

Minister Humbletoes had moved on to talk about the sin of homosexuality and how it was a committed abomination.

"Overcome the Devil when he tempts you to the sin of Uncleanness and Wrongness. It's against the Lord's will."

Gale involuntarily tensed, a bolt of fear running through him. Astarion, of course, noticed and started rubbing soothing circles into his shoulders. Mystra, Gale's former mentor, had done a number on him, letting him believe he'd never be enough. But to Astarion, Gale was more than enough; he was everything.

"Just look at me, love, and forget all your worries for a while," he murmured, placing a soft kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. Gale sighed, trying to relax, and held onto Astarion's waist as they continued making out.

Elder Cazador released Minister Humbletoes from his duties and started over-analysing the story of Adam and Eve and the latter's sin for the umpteenth time with a PowerPoint presentation. Now, it was Astarion's turn to tense as he heard his foster father's cold, clipped voice echo through the church. Gale mirrored Astarion's prior words back to him: "Just look at me, love, and forget all your worries for a while."

Smiling, Astarion immediately softened and melted into the touch and passionate kiss.

"I have another surprise for you," Astarion whispered into Gale's ear. He stood up, unbuckled his trousers, let them pool around his ankles, turned around, braced himself against the balcony's railing, and showed off the ruby-red plug nestled between his ass checks, its colour cheekily peeking and glinting through the thin lace of the panties. Gale's eyes widened and he reverently caressed his boyfriend's buttocks.

"You're the only altar I'm kneeling for," he spoke. "You're the only divine being I'm worshipping."

Gale ran his room temperature hands across Astarion's lower back, buttocks, and thighs, following the random path with a trail of kisses. Astarion sighed contently, his eyes gazing unfocused at the colourful gothic-style windows which depicted the archangels. The warm, slightly dusty air of the room caressed Astarion's exposed skin, making his dick twitch in its lacy constriction. Slowly, Gale pulled the panties down and tapped a nail against the butt plug. Astarion bit his lip as the vibration of the motion went straight to his dick. Gale wiggled the plug around gently and then pulled it out before starting to fuck Astarion with it. The latter tried his best to keep his voice down while the toy was hammering against his prostate. He arched into it, thrusting back on the plug in the hope of feeling it deeper.

"Close," he gasped, seconds before coming. To his utter frustration, Gale stopped.

"I don't want you to come yet," said the latter, smirking.

"You're such a tease," groaned Astarion while his dick leaked onto the floor. Gale chuckled lowly and kissed his sweaty neck.

"Patience," he murmured.

Astarion huffed, but complied. When he wasn't teetering on the edge anymore, Gale eased the plug out of his ass, caressing the slightly puffy hole.

"May I –"

"Absolutely. I want you to fuck me right here right now under the judging eyes of the Lord," Astarion told him, wiggling his ass. Thankfully, Gale thought with his dick instead of his brain for once, freed his erection, and sunk into the offered hole in one go. They groaned in unison. No matter how often they did it, sex never got boring and always felt like heaven on earth. Astarion braced his underarms against the stone railing, arched his back enticingly, and purred: "Give it to me like you mean it."

"As you wish, my love," Gale murmured into his ear and started thrusting hard and fast. Despite his eyes rolling back in his head and falling close in utter bliss, Astarion grinned. While his foster father spat vitriol about the LGBTQIA+ community, he was fucked silly by his beautiful, caring, loving, devoted, smart boyfriend.

"I love you," panted Gale and wrapped his hand around Astarion's neglected dick.

"I love you too," sighed Astarion.

Gale kept up a fast, steady pace, stimulating his boyfriend's prostate expertly and revelling in the hot, tight clutch of his beloved's body.

"Run away with me," panted Astarion. "Let's throw all our stuff in your car and drive as far away as we can. Let's settle somewhere serene and safe where we can be ourselves without fear of rejection and bodily harm. Let's buy a small cottage in the woods, get married, and fuck to our heart's content. Let's be together forever."

"Yes," whispered Gale as his hand sped up around Astarion's cock. "Marry me, Star."

The addressed's eyes rolled back in his head and he came with a rather loud, blissful moan as his ass tried to milk Gale dry. His cum spurted over the railing of the balcony and splattered onto some puritans below. Gale's groan when he spilled into his boyfriend, blended into the hysteric screaming from below. Panting, Astarion leaned heavily onto the balcony's railing and burst into manic laughter when he realised whom he'd defiled: Mystra.

He was still laughing when Gale took his hand and started running. They left the church behind, as well as the uproar of its pearl-clutching members.

Astarion and Gale started driving northwards two hours later, singing along the radio, sharing shitty snacks, and looking forward to start a new life together.

Chapter Text

There's nothing better than an electronic bidet, mused Alfira as she was sitting on her girlfriend's toilet and using said handy-dandy gadget. When the flow of water stopped and the nozzle retreated, she used exactly one wet wipe to make sure everything was squeaky clean and dry. Humming happily, Alfira pulled up her panties, put the toilet lid down, and flushed. Then, she washed her hands and fixed her bed hair. That's when she spotted the thick spider lurking in the corner. With a high-pitched scream of disgust, Alfira fled the bathroom.

"Is something on fire again?" asked Lakrissa, grumpily rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"There's a spider!" squeaked Alfira. "Please get rid of it! Please!"

"Yeah, yeah," yawned her girlfriend and sauntered into the bathroom. She snorted a laugh when she saw the culprit of Alfira's panic.

"The way you shrieked, I thought the spider was as big as a hamster. I could hit it with the flat of my hand and it would be dead in an instant."

"It just has far too many legs," Alfira defended herself. Lakrissa snorted again and rolled up the latest music magazine that was lying on the windowsill.

"You don't have to kill it," said Alfira bravely. "You can just throw it out of the window."

"So that you can scream again in fifteen minutes when it crawls back through the balcony door? Nah, it's not worth the risk."

Lakrissa hit the creepy-crawly once with pinpoint accuracy and vigour, killing it with casual efficiency. Alfira was impressed.

"My heroine," she said.

"Always at your service, milady," grinned Lakrissa and bowed, causing her girlfriend to giggle. She crowded Alfira against the sink, trapping her between her arms, and kissed her.

"I think I deserve a reward, don't you think?" she murmured. Instead of answering, Alfira pulled Lakrissa's boxer shorts down and slipped two of her fingers into her cunt, thrusting and curling them against her G-spot.

"Mmh, just like that," moaned Lakrissa. Due to their position and angle, she could only roll her hips shallowly, bit it was enough. She quickly came on her girlfriend's fingers, pulsing around them. Alfira kissed her sweetly and ask: "How did you like your reward?"

"I don't think that was adequate enough," teased Lakrissa. "I want more. For example, sit on your face."

"Yeah, I want that too," groaned Alfira, biting her lip in anticipation. They practically ran to the bedroom where Lakrissa rode Alfira's face until she drenched it thoroughly.