Chapter Text
Sunflower
Birds chirped through the morning air, sunlight causing the shadows of leaves on the trees to dapple the road. The sounds of the citizens of Konoha began to gradually fill the air as shops opened, small children too energetic to sleep dragging their bleary-eyed mothers behind them towards nearby playgrounds, and elder men and women swept their front stoops despite them already looking rather pristine.
Sasuke appraised it all as he walked along the road, in no particular hurry or with a destination in mind. He rarely had time to himself in the village, and Kakashi had insisted that he take a short rest in-between missions to recuperate. “Take some time and really enjoy yourself,” the silver-haired man had said, his visible eye crinkling in a smile. Sasuke hadn’t responded other than a nod and left the Hokage’s office. He was unsure of just what to do with his time, but a walk around the village was a decent start to his day. He didn’t want to admit it, but a rest was probably a good idea–-he had received a rather nasty wound near his ribs on the right side of his torso during his last mission, and Sakura had given him a good earful when he had paid a visit to the hospital last night.
“Are you kidding me, Sasuke? I know you’re strong, but you really need to be careful. Take care of yourself! Naruto and I didn’t go through all of what we did to get you back just for you to get sick with sepsis!” The pink-haired medic, despite the exasperation in her words, had used gentle hands to heal the large gash, and Sasuke had immediately felt relief. When he had thanked her, he saw Sakura’s face soften a little. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to nag. We just…worry about you, is all. Old habits die hard, huh?” He had assured her he would be more careful, and left after a small wave.
He had been so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice a familiar presence close by. “Sasuke?”
He looked up and saw Hinata to his left, where her road met his out of the main thrum of Konoha’s markets. He saw her face break out into a smile, and though he didn’t return the smile he felt his shoulders relax as she hurried closer to him. “Sasuke! You’re home! Welcome back,” she greeted warmly. The corner of his mouth lifted into a small smile.
“Thanks,” he said, then noticed her carrying a couple small grocery bags. “A little early for shopping, isn’t it? Was it even open yet?” He started walking again, pleased that Hinata fell easily into step beside him.
“Of course it was!” Hinata laughed, “Or else I wouldn’t have these, right? I was up early this morning, and I needed to go shopping today anyway, so…” she trailed off.
Sasuke huffed in amusement. “I see. And now what are you going to do with the rest of your day?”
Hinata tilted her head, “Hmm…well, I don’t really know. Perhaps I’ll visit Kurenai-sensei and Mirai.” She looked up at him, “What about you? When did you get back?”
“Last night. I had to stop at the hospital-–”
“What?” Hinata gasped, stopping in her tracks. Sasuke did the same, though he didn’t meet her eyes and instead kept looking straight ahead. “Are you alright? Were you hurt bad?”
“I’m fine,” Sasuke sighed. “Sakura patched me up, good as new. And Kakashi gave me a break, said I need to take some time off and rest up. No need to worry,” he finally looked down at the Hyuga, and his heart stuttered slightly when he saw just how worried she was. He quickly closed his eyes and looked away before any heat could build in his face. He really didn’t want her to see how she could affect him. He could barely figure it out himself.
“Oh.” Hinata looked at her feet, as if thinking about something. “Well, good,” she said, looking up at him, beginning to walk again. “I know you like to be away on your missions, but…this could be good for you, I think.” He hummed in acknowledgement, then she continued, “Well, if you would like, I have some ingredients here to make us some breakfast!” She lifted up her grocery bags.
Sasuke lifted his eyebrow, “I thought you needed that for you and your family?”
Hinata giggled, “I have plenty! And besides, if I need more of something I can just get more!” Sasuke smiled slightly.
“Alright, then let’s go. You can use my kitchen, it barely sees any use.”
“You really should try to cook more for yourself, eating out all the time is bad for you,” Hinata admonished him lightly.
He shrugged, “I’m still trying to get used to having one arm, and cooking was never really a priority.” He glanced out of the corner of his eye to see Hinata looking horrified. “I’m kidding,” he added before she would start to spiral; he could already see the guilt cross her face at her remark.
“I’m sorry, that was really thoughtless of me to say–”
“Hinata.” His tone was low, and she looked up at him. “I’m just kidding,” he repeated, “it’s not a big deal. Come on, I’m hungry.” They looked at each other for a moment, not breaking eye contact as her eyes searched his to see if he really wasn’t offended. Eventually she gave a small nod, and when her shoulders relaxed Sasuke was satisfied enough to continue making his way to his house. When they arrived, he saw her eyes scan his yard.
“You’re front yard is a little bare,” Hinata hummed as they made their way up the front walk, Sasuke fishing out his key from inside his cloak. “Maybe you could have a garden?”
“I was never good at gardening, never really got my mother’s knack for it,” he said as they stepped over the threshold. He turned on the lights in the main sitting room and the kitchen, unfastened his cloak and put it on the hook by his door and sat on his sofa. Hinata had immediately made her way into his kitchen, spotless from it’s lack of use, and deposited the groceries on the peninsula counter before turning to the cupboards and fishing out a couple of pots and pans.
“Well, if I have time, I could help you with it. If you want, of course,” she hurriedly added as the stove clicked to life. “I have a small garden at home, so I know a thing or two. But, please don't feel you have to agree! I wouldn’t want to intrude!”
He mulled it over quietly for a moment. He liked the idea of Hinata coming over to see him, to help him, even if it was for something he didn’t really care that much about. “You can do whatever you want,” he said after a bit. In the kitchen, Hinata smiled, knowing that this was his way of agreeing with her despite the callousness of the words.
A comfortable silence fell over them, aside from the hissing of the food being cooked. Sasuke leaned his head back onto the back of his sofa and closed his eyes, feeling at peace for the first time in months. His missions had been rather tense, constantly on edge from danger, either from enemy ninja or the Otsutsuki. Out in the woods, as he was away from civilization most of the time, and with injuries more often than not.
But now he was home. At first, he had been reluctant to call Konoha that. What was home, really? He had no real home since he was 12, when he had turned his back on them. Then, when he found out what his so-called-home had ultimately cost him, he had never hated this place more. And now here he was, looking forward to the idea of returning here when he could. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when that had changed for him–it had been as gradual as the tides.
He was happy he had Naruto and Sakura, and it didn’t hurt that the Hokage was his old sensei. They were his family, now. It took him far too long to admit it, but he cherished them dearly. Having those people in his life made it worth being here, even just a little. But within the last year-and-a-half or so, he had unexpectedly made a new friend–-Hinata.
He had never seen it coming, and he suspected she hadn’t either. When they were small children, their interactions were short but most likely fine–their families being the largest clans in Konoha gave them some opportunities to meet. He couldn’t quite recall those days. After his clan’s massacre, he had been so preoccupied with his plan to kill his brother and avenge his family that he barely paid attention to anyone that wasn’t his team. All he could remember then of Hinata specifically was that she had an obvious crush on Naruto, and he hadn’t cared enough to look beyond that. He couldn’t find in himself to care about anything besides revenge in those days.
And then suddenly, he found himself back on the side of his former classmates in the war against Obito and Madara. And he didn’t notice her much then either, but he saw a woman that was more confident, a leader who got what she needed done. Afterwards, once it was established he was no longer a threat and was thus granted his freedom, he had managed to come across her in the village a few times–-she no longer stuttered, still shy but a little more sure of her words. She had been a bit hesitant when speaking to him at first, but over time was able to be a little more comfortable saying hello when they chanced upon each other, still keeping a distance of pure acquaintanceship.
Then it all changed when he came across her one day, looking absolutely devastated. He had nearly kept walking, before remembering that he was making a concerted effort to change and actually be a good person, before approaching her. She had tried to–rather badly–hide the fact she had been crying, but Sasuke decided to do something he had never done before–-pry. He patiently listened as she told him about how she had seen Naruto and Sakura in town that day, holding hands, and she had just known they were finally together. Sasuke had known for some time the status of his former teammates, and was taken aback that it had not been more obvious, though he had chosen not to remark on it, instead he had put a hand on her shoulder as he listened. Hinata got her feelings out, and together they had sat until it was time to part ways. But something had changed that day, and gradually Hinata and he would exchange more friendly hellos, or making small talk that Sasuke realized didn't bore him. Eventually, she would invite him for tea, or they would talk about their missions, and Sasuke realized that they had become real friends.
“Sasuke? It’s ready,” Hinata called softly, and Sasuke opened his eyes. Hinata was putting the plates on the table, and he got up and made his way over as she took off the apron and hung it back up in the kitchen. He sat down in this chair and cocked an eyebrow at the dish in front of him.
“Omelette rice? Really?”
Hinata blushed as she took her seat. “I know it’s childish, but it’s a lot of food and you really should eat some more…besides, I know I said I went shopping this morning, but I didn’t get all that much, and you had eggs, so…” she trailed off, hands in her lap and head lowered, her hair falling in a curtain around her face in embarrassment.
For a moment, he was six years old, and his mother put a plate of omelette rice in front of him. Sasuke exhaled through his nose and smiled a little. “It’s fine. Thank you.”
Hinata looked up through her lashes, then straightened in relief at him taking his chopsticks and breaking the egg. “I’m glad. I hope you like it.”
They ate in silence, the sound of their chopsticks clinking on the plates. This was one of the things Sasuke liked about being friends with Hinata: the silences. Neither of them were talkers, and he was already so used to the quiet being filled by Naruto and sometimes Sakura that he hadn’t realized just how much he missed it. But Hinata was like him–contemplative, careful with her words, never speaking unless she really wanted to. At first, she did try to fill it, mistaking it for awkwardness and trying to overcompensate by babbling, but over time she had also relaxed and allowed their silences to become comfortable.
Sasuke couldn’t help but glance at her while he ate. He felt the heat in his chest bloom as he studied her: the way she tucked her hair behind her ear before taking a bite, the delicate way she dabbed at her face with a napkin, her small smile on her lips as she appreciated the taste of her food. Sasuke didn’t quite know how it happened, but he had begun to feel this heat, this need to be around her whenever he did see her not too long ago. He felt an irresistable draw to Hinata, and he supposed that this must have been what it was like for Sakura when they were children. He wanted to be with her, but he was acutely aware of the fact she had just recently gotten over her longtime crush on his best friend, so he settled for what he had now. Their newfound friendship.
He was also, truth be told, a little scared. He had never felt this way about anyone before, and this was a totally new area for him. He had just begun to feel a semblance of normalcy, to be a regular person living life again, that he wanted to avoid upsetting that new, fragile balance. So, he had decided to remain silent on it, and just…feel what he felt. Even if being near her was simultaneously intoxicating and torturous. He would be fine.
“Sasuke?” He was drawn out of his thoughts and looked at Hinata, her head tilted as her brow pinched with worry. “Are you alright?”
He leaned back in his chair, “Just thinking.”
“What about?”
“About this garden you really want me to have,” he lied easily. “What would you plant?”
She lifted a finger to her chin as she thought, “Hmm…well, a vegetable garden is a good idea. You can grow your own for your meals, and vegetables are a more hardy type of thing to grow than flowers, usually. Besides, you don’t really seem the type to enjoy flowers, vegetables are more practical.” A small grin spread on her face, and Sasuke ignored the thumping in his chest. “A good place to start would be cucumbers and zucchini, and carrots! Maybe some peas…what would you like to grow?”
“I don’t care really, this is your project,” Sasuke said, taking a sip of his tea.
Hinata frowned, “But this would be your garden! You should make sure that things you like are in it, too!”
Sasuke placed his cup back on the table, and tapped his fingers next to it in thought. “Hm…tomatoes.” His chest fluttered as he saw her light up. What was she doing to him?
“Tomatoes are a great choice!” She clapped her hands together, clearly excited at the prospect. Sasuke shook his head. How she could be excited at something like this, he’d never understand.
After a moment, Sasuke spoke up. “So, what would happen to it while I’m gone from the village?” At this, Hinata visibly deflated.
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that,” she murmured. Sasuke frowned, dismayed that he had made her upset.
“You could come tend to it when I’m not here, if you want,” he suggested, purposefully grabbing his tea and taking another sip to avoid looking at her. “You’d know what to do to keep them alive, better than me anyway.”
She glanced up at him. “Really?” When he nodded, she looked at her empty plate. “Well, I would hate to see them wither away. As long as you're alright with it…”
“I just offered, didn’t I?” He said, not unkindly.
Hinata looked back up at him and smiled, though he noticed that it didn’t quite reach her eyes this time, “You’re right. I’ll look after them for you, then.”
He nodded, then another silence fell over them as she looked back at the table, her hands clasped in her lap. This time, it was uneasy, full of something Sasuke couldn’t quite place. He put his cup back on the table and leaned forward on his arm, “What is it?”
Hinata didn’t answer him, instead looking out the window to her left. The trees beyond the fence swayed in the breeze, the sun causing the water in the nearby creek to sparkle. The minutes ticked by with no answer, but Sasuke held himself back from prodding. He had begun to think that he wouldn’t get anything from her, and leaned back in his seat. He started slightly when she finally spoke.
“Can I tell you something?” she asked, her voice small, afraid. Sasuke cocked a brow, curious.
“Sure.”
She was silent for another long few minutes. Sasuke patiently waited, knowing at this point that Hinata was going to take her time. “I…don’t like it when you go on your missions,” she finally confessed, pink dusting her cheeks.
Sasuke didn’t know what to say. He didn’t expect this from her, not really. He had always compartmentalized his departures as separate from everything and everyone from the village, save Kakashi, Naruto and Shikamaru, being as they were the ones that assigned them. He hadn’t really given a second thought to what anyone else might feel, he had honestly always figured people didn’t really care or notice when he was gone; he was well aware of most of the villager’s lingering feelings of distrust toward him even after two years. He was an ex-criminal, after all.
When he didn’t answer, Hinata looked back at her lap and twisted the hem of her sweater nervously. “I know they’re very important, being that Kakashi-sama assigns them to you personally. And I know what it means to you, to be able to travel the world, and to fulfill these important tasks, but…but you’re gone for so long, and…” she trailed off.
Sasuke felt his heart leap up into his throat. Did Hinata…? No, he would not, dared not, hope. He swallowed, before responding in an even voice, “I always come back, though. I’ve only ever been gone for a couple months at most.”
Hinata finally glanced up, her eyes meeting his. There was something in them, her eyes almost…pleading him to understand something, though what, he couldn’t know. “I know, but…when you’re gone, I start to miss you.”
At these words, his heart began to thrum so loud in his chest that he swore she’d be able to hear it. I miss you too, he wanted to tell her, so badly, but he held his tongue. He didn’t know what was happening, and he didn’t want to be the one that broke…whatever this was.
“I’ll be out with our friends and I’ll think of what you might say, or how you’d react to something they've said. I’ll notice a book in the library and think about how I’ll need to tell you about it because I think you might find it interesting,” Hinata continued, her voice still small. “And I worry. I worry about how you might get really hurt, or worse…” she didn’t seem able to finish the thought, but he understood.
Sasuke stood up and walked over to stand facing the window, looking outside. He couldn’t face her now, he couldn’t trust his own expression. He was afraid she’d see the extent of his true feelings despite himself. She was very perceptive, he had learned. “I don’t mean for you to worry. I just…need to do this. Not just for Naruto, or the village, but for myself. I need to atone for what I’ve done,” he explained eventually, slowly.
Silence followed again, but Sasuke dared not look. He heard the scraping of a chair and felt her presence as she stood next to him at the window, holding her arms to herself. Neither looked at the other, but out the window at the world beyond.
“Sasuke, I…I owe you an apology,” she said quietly. He gave her a sideways glance.
“Why?”
“When you left the village, I saw what it did to Naruto, and to Sakura. It tore them apart, and all I could do was watch helplessly as these people I cared about fell apart. And…I hated you for it,” she murmured, holding her arms tighter. He pursed his lips together, a sting in his chest, but said nothing. “But I know how much you meant to them, Naruto especially, and I wanted to be able to help bring you back when I could. But eventually, after you…made it clear you didn’t want to come back,” she said this carefully, though Sasuke inwardly cringed as he knew she meant when you tried to kill Sakura and Naruto, “The rest of us had decided that we needed to take you down, no matter the cost.”
“You wanted to kill me.”
“Yes,” she whispered after a moment, and he noticed her nails digging into the skin of her upper arms. “But it was only because we thought you were truly dangerous to the village.”
Sasuke sighed, “You all were right though. I wanted to destroy Konoha, everyone in it, for taking my family away from me. Killing me was the best chance of making sure it wasn’t going to happen.”
Hinata looked at him, her eyes full of pain, “But that wasn’t right of us! We didn’t know what you were going through, how could we just decide on our own to…to do something so…” her voice cracked, full of emotion but the tears in her eyes refused to fall. Sasuke still fixed his gaze straight ahead.
“You’re right, you didn’t know. And you were doing your job as shinobi, by trying to protect this village and it’s citizens. You didn’t know what happened, but it’s not like I was explaining myself.” He finally turned his body to face her, meeting her gaze fully. He saw her eyes flick back and forth between his own, searching. “What Danzo had decided was unforgivable. But what I did, my decision to destroy all of Konoha for a couple of people’s orders? That was my choice. I could have decided to be done with it all after I took out Danzo, but instead I chose to continue my hate. I was no better.”
Hinata bit her lower lip, though her gaze never faltered. “But you decided to save us anyway.”
Sasuke closed his eyes, “Yes, though that took some more thought. After I got the full story with Orochimaru’s help, I came to the decision to protect the village instead. But that doesn’t change what I’ve done before that.”
“But you’re trying now, and that’s what really matters,” she insisted, taking a step closer. “It’s been two years since you’ve been accepted back, you’ve done countless missions and helped so many. Don’t you see? You’ve done more than atone already,” Hinata brought her hands up to her chest. “It’s not all your fault, Sasuke. You’re not evil, you’re just human.”
Sasuke stared her for a long while. He felt his heart constrict, and he clenched his hand at his side to prevent himself from reaching out to her, to touch her. “Why do you think that?” he asked, his voice slightly raspy.
“Because although we might not have been friends for all that long, I can still see you. You’ve always been kind, even if your words can be a bit too blunt. You’ve always thought about others and what they think, even if you don’t show it. You’ve just always been lonely.” His eyebrows shot up at just how true her words hit. His breath stuck in his throat as she took a step forward, her hands coming up to cup the sides of his face ever so gently. His eyes locked on hers, searching. “But you don’t have to be.”
Time froze, the only thing in his mind was just how soft her hands really were. There was no hiding it now, she could easily tell how his blush flamed his cheeks, the heat undeniable. She could surely hear the drumming of his heart, though she made no move to back away. Slowly, he raised his hand to her own on his face, and he grasped her hand in his. Still, she made no move other than the flicker of her eyes. His breath was long gone from his lungs. He swallowed hard, trying to find his voice.
“What if I don’t know how?” he asked eventually, his voice low. He heard her take a small breath, but still they remained frozen. His brain couldn’t grasp a single thought to clutch onto, to ground him. He felt like he was floating and sinking all at once. Was this really, truly happening?
“I won’t let you,” she promised, her face gracing a smile. Slowly, as if afraid to scare her with any movements, he leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, as he gingerly brought her hand that he still gripped down between them. She brought her other hand down and slid it in his beside her other so that now he was holding both. They remained that way for a long moment.
“Are you sure about this?” He asked quietly, “about me?”
Hinata hummed, “I am. I’m not sure when it happened, but being around you...makes me happy. But, are you sure about me? I’m nothing special.” Her eyelashes fluttered, her face drawing inward slightly.
“Listen,” he said, his voice having just enough conviction that it made Hinata look up immediately, “I haven’t made many connections since I’ve regained my freedom. I have only our old classmates, and some of our teachers. But of all of them, Hinata, you are the most important. Even more than Naruto.” Hinata gasped, and Sasuke raised his hand to rest it on her cheek this time, “I don’t know when it happened either, but…you’ve been special to me for a long time. And I don’t say this lightly.”
Hinata looked up at him, and he thought he saw her eyes sparkle in the sunlight. “Thank you,” she breathed. He dropped his hand and took a step back, shrugging.
“It’s just the truth. Nothing more.”
Hinata gave a nervous giggle, “Of course. Oh! I need to clear the table!” She quickly ran over and began stacking their plates in a blushing mess and brought them to the sink to begin washing all the dishes. Wordlessly, Sasuke helped her with the smaller dishes she had forgotten, before leaning on the counter beside her. They fell into a rhythm where Sasuke would do his best to dry the dishes she finished washing before putting them away. Before long, the kitchen was spotless once more, and the two of them made their way to the front where Sasuke was going to see her off.
“Thanks again for the food,” Sasuke said, leaning against the doorway as Hinata slid her sandals on.
“It was no trouble,” Hinata smiled up at him, then asked “When are you going on your next mission?”
He shrugged one shoulder, “Not sure exactly. Like I said, Kakashi wanted me to have a break, though if something comes up I may have to go again.”
Hinata looked crestfallen, “Oh, of course.” She glanced back up at him, shyly. “Would you, um…would you at least say goodbye before you leave?”
Sasuke chuckled, a rare sound from him. “I can do that,” he said, his eyes glinting with amusement. He chuckled again as she blushed deeper. She really was cute. “Besides, how else would you know you need to come watch my garden?” he teased.
Hinata gaped at him, before puffing her cheeks slightly in mock indignation. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, maybe I won’t!”
Sasuke smiled as he shook his head, “I’m kidding. Whenever I have to go again, you’ll be the first to know,” he promised.
Hinata smiled then, satisfied. “Okay. I’m off then, but I’ll see you soon?”
“Tomorrow,” Sasuke affirmed.
She beamed at him then, “Great! Have a lovely rest of your day, Sasuke. Get some rest!” And without warning, she stretched on her tiptoes and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before scurrying out of his front door. Sasuke looked at the closed door for a minute, hand on his cheek, before smiling softly and turning to go to his bedroom. Maybe a nap was a good idea, he had an exhausting but productive morning.