Chapter Text
The idea of a relationship never took hold of Sunoo’s attention, the unnecessary PDA, the arguments and the insecurity, it was all just unappealing to him. He couldn’t fathom why someone would want to be tied down like that, especially during their youth.
Most of the kids his age were already delusional enough to think a boyfriend at 17 is going to stay with them forever. In a way, it almost makes him sorrowful thinking about how they’re going to get their heart broken eventually.
Sure, he’d been in relationships before but Sunoo somehow, was never the only boy. Maybe he just picked bad men but even the nicest ones, they always double-dealed him and another pretty boy behind his back. Weak and vulnerable is all that Sunoo felt the moment he would admit his feelings are being played with. His heart would drop all the way down to his stomach and would like to swear to himself he’d never give anyone his trust again. Next thing you know, he’s being love bombed by another ‘straight boy’ and giving him all of his devotion and—
Sunoo’s thoughts were interrupted by his alarm blaring throughout his room on his Alexa.
“Alexa, stop alarm.” he spoke sounding drowsy.
Blinking his eyes open looking through his eyelashes at his boring grey walls and groaned a little. Being woken up to his god awful alarm at 5:30 was starting to take a toll on his mental health, the academy strictly speaking, started at 7:00 and it was only around a 5 minute walk to his classes.
He only woke up hours before he needed to just to get ready. His hair needed to look perfect, he needed to smell just like his favorite powdery cologne, his outfit needed to be throughly thought out and stylish but still looking effortless. Receiving compliments especially from people he’d never even met, meant more to him than his sleep.
Rolling out of bed, he proportionally weighted himself making sure he didn’t fall over due to his lack of sleep. He drifted over to his closet, still half asleep, looking for the perfect outfit.
In time, he picked out some baggy acid-wash jeans, a grey slightly oversized gap hoodie, and his Adidas campuses. A little basic, he thought to himself but he hoped that his hair being styled would make up for it. His hair was still moderately wavy from curling it in days gone by, he scrunched it up a little more even though he knew it didn’t do anything.
-
Once he’s confident that he looks perfect, Sunoo strides out his own room to see his mom in the kitchen preparing breakfast.
“Good morning sunnie , want some eggs?”
His mom looked incomparable to her usual messy shirt and bare face when Sunoo would leave for school. Bright red lipstick over lined her lips slightly and her eyelashes looked like they’d blow her away.
Sunoo gave her a look. The same look she’d always give him before hanging out with a boy. He wasn’t stupid I mean his parents were separated for almost 2 years now and she’s been on dates, but never so dressed up at 6:30 in the morning. Was she going to breakfast with someone? Does she think I’m gonna call him dad? Because I’m not, nobody can–
“Earth to sunnie?!”
His mom raised her voice a little playfully noticing he’d been daydreaming. He blinked firmly snapping himself back to reality as he gave his mom a forced smirk, he just didn’t want her worrying about him. She had enough going on and if he’s being honest, she deserves to have someone and be loved and if that means wearing an absurd amount of makeup at 6 in the morning, so be it.
“I’m okay mom, I’ll have something to eat at school.”.
He noticed the shift in his mom’s face but she got her disappointed expression off her face swiftly before he could say something.
“Alright sweetie, just remember I’m not gonna be home this weekend. Take good care of your sisters yeah?”.
Sunoo nodded as he swung his bag over his shoulder and jogged over and kissed his mom on the cheek, even though he was 17, kissing his mom never felt weird or childish. And although all of his friends would make fun of him for it, he loved his mom more than anyone else.
She gave him one last smile before he turned out the door and locked it up behind him. The creaking of the door and the cold breeze always gave him some sort of nostalgia. Not the kind that made you miss your childhood like smelling an old candle or reading a book your mom would read to you as a baby. no, this was the bitter kind. The kind Sunoo has tried to push down in his memories as much as he can.
His mom screaming and the sound of his dad breaking things blaring through the house, making his siblings listen to music so they wouldn’t have to hear everything. Of course, the sound of my mom leaving her own house when the mental and physical abuse got too much for her.
He always wished he could take all of her pain away and transfer it to himself. The worst part? He still worshiped his dad like his life depended on it. He wanted to hate him more than anything, wanted to punish him by never talking to him again for what he did to his mother.
Despite all that, his heart weakened when he saw his dad all alone in his new moldy apartment that his little sister swore got her sick every time they visited. No matter how hard he tried to hate him, he always felt empathy for him no matter how much he didn’t deserve it. And he sure as hell did not deserve it.
-
As sunoo walked down the dim street, the sun just barely rising shining on Sunoo’s platinum blonde hair. The sound of leaves crunching beneath him almost drove him crazy. The mornings were quiet, comfortable even, enough time for Sunoo to be alone with his mind until-
“Sunoo-yah!!”
He heard a giddy voice belting his name from behind him only to turn around see Jungwon smiling ear to ear, jogging to catch up with him. Sunoo cracked a smile seeing how Jungwon looked like a dog when their owner comes home.
“You look like a crazy person wonie”
Sunoo crossed his arms as Jungwon caught up to him and ruffled up his hair a little teasing him. “God forbid a guy be excited about seeing his best friend”. Sassily rolling his eyes jungwon began walking beside Sunoo.
Not one of Sunoo’s best qualities, but he tended to tune out people when he was tired. Considering this, all he heard was Jungwon rambling on about something while Sunoo was in his own world.
-
Once they finally arrived at the school, like clockwork they sat in their bench. Was it necessarily theirs? No. Did they sit there whenever they had free periods no matter what for the past 3 years? Yes. Sunoo usually had a free period for his first block, unless he had lab. Sunoo put down his absurdly heavy bag, feeling a weight lifted off his back literally and metaphorically.
Jungwon clapped his hands together signaling that he had something on his mind.
“What’s wrong wonie?”
“Well, you know Jay hyung?”
He tried not to let his intrigued expression falter at the mention of Jays name. Jungwon over-thunk every single word Jay ever muttered to him even though it was painfully obvious how obsessed he was with Jungwon. He practically worshiped the ground he walked on, held the door open for him, admired him when he wasn’t looking.
Sunoo hoped for that kind of love one day.
“Well, he didn’t text me back last night and I just think he’s getting bored of me.”
“I don’t think Jay could ever get bored of you, have you seen how he looks at you?”. Jungwon let a smirk slip from his mouth knowing it’s true.
switching his expression back to upset he pouted his lips and looked at Sunoo, attempting to look sad over the situation.
“I think you just miss Jay hyung.”
Jungwon nodded.
“Why don’t we all plan something?”
His best friend looked around for a minute, almost like he was unsure if he wanted to. Sunoo pretended to look offended trying to uplift his mood. “What you don’t wanna hangout with me too Wonie??” His sad expression completely faded as he giggled which made sunoo laugh as well.
All of the sudden, a knock on the end of the plastic table startled them both, At the end of the table stood Heeseung and Jake.
“What’s up ladies!!” Jake said raising his voice naturally with his excitement.
“Yeah nice one, we’re all guys by the way dumbass” Heeseung hit his arm teasing him as he sat down sitting next to Jungwon putting his bag on the ground, Jake doing the same sitting next to Sunoo.
Jake turned his body to Sunoo and smiled a little downwards looking him up and down. Jake might’ve been the boldest flirt he knows, always flirting with everyone with no intention behind it.
“You look cute Sunoo yah!!”
He rolled his eyes a little at Jake’s empty compliment. “Thanks Hyung, you’re not my type though…sorry…” he spoke in a fake empathetic tone scrunching his nose a little to show he was being sarcastic which caused Jake to laugh, Sunoo following. Jake twisted his body back to face the rest of the group on the other side of the table.
“Please tell me you’re all free tonight it’s a Friday we have to do something.” His eyes looked like a puppy’s with the way he was pleading.
In unison they all said calmly “I’m free” and Jake sighed a little his expressions seeming almost animated with his excitement. “Thank god!! Wait, what about Hoon and Jay?”.
“I’ll text the group chat” Jungwon said, already taking out his phone out his back pocket to ask. “Wait – Sunoo yah! Your mom isn’t home tonight right?” He added pointing at Sunoo raising his eyebrows in realization. The group looked at Sunoo and waited for him for comfirm.
“Well, she doesn’t leave until 12 at night but you guys can come over after that unless we want to do something beforehand?”.
“I mean what’s there to really do around here?” Heeseung added.
Jake clapped his hands together twice and adjusted himself in his seat “theres a carnival tonight like 10 minutes away, sound fun???” He said raising his eyebrows hoping we’d agree.
Although the idea of going to some cheesy carnival and fucking around on the Ferris wheel didn’t sound like Sunoo’s perfect Friday night. It’d been so long since everyone had seen each other it sounded good enough. Also, he know jungwon desperately needed to have a conversation with Jay. And to be fair, it would be a way for Heeseung and Jake to start their childish romance and Sunghoon would probably bring his girlfriend.
In that moment, Sunoo had the realization that all of his friends were either falling in love or already head over heels. He thought he had atleast Jake or Heeseung left, until they started spending every minute together and giving each other the very obvious ‘look’. He knew it was only a matter of time before they confessed their obvious feelings for each other.
Although he’s always been silently aware of this, it hit him like a train in this moment.
“So is everyone in?”
Sunoo snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Jake smiling downwards as he nodded.
•
Throughout the day, the excitement of knowing he had confirmed plans with his closest friends ate him alive. He couldn’t wait to laugh over their stupid bickering and corny jokes.
Jungwon and Sunoo walked home together after school, talking about what they’re gonna do at Sunoo’s house after the carnival. Many good ideas and many stupid ones, of course Jungwon suggested playing spin the bottle and Sunoo hit his shoulder calling him gross and they both busted out laughing.
They walked side by side until they got to Sunoo’s front door. Jungwon opened up the screen door before putting in his combination to his house. He trusted him enough to have it. the same disgusting creak of the door rang through his ears as he opened it.
They headed straight to Sunoo’s room and put down their bags next to his bed.
He didn’t exactly know what he was gonna wear but that’s exactly why his best friend was here to give him assistance.
“Alright so what’s our inspo? Cute? Fierce?” Jungwon said plopping down on his bed, taking off his dirty shoes before getting fully on knowing Sunoo hates when shoes are on his bed.
“You tell me wonie”
“Fierce it is then!”
Dressing ‘fierce’ as he described it didn’t exactly seem realistic considering his bright blonde hair, but he followed along. His best friend rose from the bed and padded his feet to his dresser opening the first drawer examining his clothes. Most of Sunoo’s clothes were very bright colors.
“Got anything darker..?” He said with a choked laugh.
“Bottom drawer I think”
And with that, he opened the bottom drawer, navy blue and black colors painted the drawers occasionally with a white top. He rummaged through the drawers until he found a pair of navy blue cargo pants, a little too big for him and threw them behind his head.
“Hey! Don’t throw that wonie!” He pouted a little as he picked up the pants jungwon threw a plain white t shirt behind him.
He stood up again closing the drawer and looked back at Sunoo who was crossing his arms, pretending to look upset with him.
“Oh come on, I’m gonna make you look so good even straight guys are gonna want you so hush.”
“Ugh, is that a threat?”
He burst out laughing before containing himself again to look around his room for accessories. He picked out a dainty chain that Sunoo bought on vacation a few years ago, a black tote bag, and tiny hoop earrings, handing the accessories to Sunoo instead of throwing them.
Sunoo gathered everything he picked out and started to get changed. They were at that point in their friendship where they didn’t bat an eye at the other getting changed in front of them. This was yet another reason he valued his friendship with Jungwon more than anything.
Once he was fully dressed, he felt strangely confident. The type of confidence he hadn’t felt in a while and he combed his fingers through his hair before telling Jungwon to look.
“Sunoo you look hot.”
“Shut up.”
“No, I’m the best stylist ever cause you look amazing.”
“Thanks weirdo. What’re you gonna wear”
Sunoo was flattered with his compliments that he didn’t notice his best friend had his hands behind his back which only meant one thing.
“You’re not stealing my clothes again wonie!!”
Jungwon sighed and pouted his lips like a kid putting his hands in front of him now, he picked out some of Sunoo’s best clothes.
“My chrome hearts hm? Really wonie?”
“It’s not my fault you have good style! Come on I promise I’ll give it back Sunoo-yah.”
“Fine. But I swear if I don’t get that back exactly the way you took it, we’re gonna have a problem sir.” Sunoo laughed to show him there was no seriousness in his words.
•
With Jake being their ride, they expected him to come at least a few minutes early but oh were they wrong. The carnival started around 7:30 and it was currently a hour after. Sunoo and jungwon of course, entertained themselves talking about drama in school or their favorite comfort shows but the occasional “call Jake again” slipped in as they became more impatient.
All of the sudden around 9 o’clock they heard a loud honk of a car blaring outside of Sunoo’s house.
“Finally!” They said in unison.
He picked up his bag jungwon picked out for him that he later filled up with his essentials, chapstick, his favorite perfume, and a pair blue light glasses knowing his eyes will get bothered with the colorful lights.
-
Sunoo got into the front seat of Jake’s beat up car and Jungwon got in the back slamming the door behind him.
“Where the fuck were you Jake??” Jungwon said sitting in the middle seat leaning forward slightly so he could yell at him. Knowing how he can get Sunoo hoped that Jake would have a liable excuse for being over 2 hours late for his sake.
“Calm down~ me and Heeseung we’re getting ready”
“For two hours?!” He rose his voice slightly.
“Hey don’t bite that hand that drives you everywhere Wonie”. Jake’s stupid joke made jungwon soften up a little and Sunoo giggled a little.
“Yeah I don’t think that’s how the saying goes Jake…”
They laughed and jungwon moved on from the conversation. Sunoo was just happy to be with everyone again and he couldn’t wait to see Sunghoon, Heeseung, and Jay It was never awkward between any of them.
The intro of ‘The Morning’ by The Weeknd started playing on his bass boosted speakers which caused Sunoo to look over at Jake and smile a little. This was Sunoo’s self proclaimed song. The lyrics made Sunoo a hopeless romantic or if you wanna get technical with it, a hopeless freak. It’s not that he would necessarily fantasize about those sort of things but he definitely thought about it every once in a while.
He’d only ever kissed a guy before and he never felt the spark everyone raves about. This song made him think about that spark everyone talked about, it was very sensual even if it was secretly full of toxic masculinity and Jake knew that. Sunoo sang the lyrics softly under his breath, regardless of how unholy the lyrics were.
“You know Sunoo, if you put yourself out there more you could get laid easily.” Jake said in a soft voice but still audible over the music, his eyes still on the road.
Did Jake really just say he could get laid easily? “I’m sorry?” He looked over at him raising his eyebrows slightly to see if he heard him correctly.
“You heard me Sunoo. Clearly you’re horny.”
Sunoo’s jaw dropped at the way Jake said those kind of words so nonchalantly and he hit him lightly which made Jake look at him and smile a little. “I’m serious! Sunoo-yah, your favorite song is by The Weeknd!”
“He’s a good artist!”
“Yeah for sex addicts?”
And of course, Jungwon had to chime in.
“Sunoo-hyung you need some.” He felt himself cringing at the seriousness of his words.
“I’m not having this conversation right now!”
“If you say so”
-
It wasn’t awkward after that but it certainly felt awkward with the thoughts in Sunoo’s head. Was everyone gonna be hooking up at his house later and that’s why they said that? Well in all fairness Sunoo would probably end up blackout drunk by that time.
They pulled into the gravel parking lot of the carnival as Jake pulled into a good parking spot.
They got all got out of the car and began walking toward the entrance, the place looked like a mob. There was at-least 2,000 people there which was insane for how small of a town they lived in.
Jake paid for their tickets and they walked inside. The bright colors of the Ferris wheel illuminated through the sky, Sunoo swore he could practically see the insane amount of light pollution in the air.
The type of people at this sort of scene never seemed the friendliest but that didn’t kill Sunoo’s vibe right now. He was laughing with his friend trying to make their way through the crowd to look for their other group of friends that came in another car.
Eventually they found them and Heeseung ran up to Jake and kissed him. Sunghoon showed up with his girlfriend and Jay pretended to not be excited to see Jungwon but he could tell his eyes light up when he saw him. It was adorable seeing them fall in love in real time.
All of the sudden a black haired boy Head to toe in chrome hearts came up to jays side with his hands in his pockets.
His pants were extremely baggy and his black straight hair perfectly framed his face. He assumed the boy was maybe a year or two older than Sunoo. Fuck–the realization hit him that he’d been admiring this random boy he just met, Sunoo had to force himself to look away from the perfect boy.
“Oh guys! this is Riki, he’s my friend from dance.” Jay said and the boy did a shy wave. He sure didn’t look shy though.
Everyone politely said hi Riki and introduced themselves. Sunoo swore to himself that he’d never seen someone as captivating as Riki was. The way he smirked at Sunoo when Jay was introducing him made his stomach do backflips.
Jungwon was right, even straight boys looked at him weird. But he wasn’t complaining about it this time. Sunoo would rather die than use the corny phrase ‘love at first sight’ but he didn’t know how else to describe it.
“Nice to meet you guys, I’ve gotta meet up with some friends though.”
“Dickhead of course you do” Jay hit his arm a little poking fun at him and Riki let out a choked laugh. It was endearing almost.
“Yeah yeah, see you later Jay-hyung” and with that he walked away, and Sunoo couldn’t help but let his eyes follow his movements. As soon as he was sure he was gone he went up to Jay.
“Who the fuck was that??”
“Who Riki?”
“Who else?!” Sunoo said sarcastically and with a sense of urgency wanting to know if the boy he just gawked over was straight.
“I told you guys, he’s my friend from dance” Jay was obviously ignorant to what Sunoo was really looking to know about him so Jungwon intervened.
“I think Sunoo means ‘is he gay?’”
Jays face showed obvious realization before his expression went back straight.
“I’m not going to lie. Ni-ki might be the straightest guy I’ve ever met.” He guessed ‘Ni-ki’ was the nickname for the mysterious boy and before he could respond back Jay added on.
“Well, we actually never talk about that sort of thing so he could be? But he just seems so straight you know?”. Jay furrowed his brows a little speaking.
Sunoo nodded and noted to himself not to get attached or look at Riki again like that. That is if he ever saw him again.
-
The whole group decided to play some childish games like ring toss, wack a mole, and balloon pop. They seemed stupid but Jake’s competitive nature made everyone hyped up over those stupid games. The sound of noisy music from some of the rides buzzed through his ears and the smell of cheap weed and funnel cake itched his nose. Normally these sensations would make him overstimulated on a normal day but he was having an amazing time.
Although, It was painfully noticeable how separated the group was while walking. All split into twos and even Sunghoon’s girlfriend started seeming like she was apart of the group. She was a sweet girl.
Jake was the one attempting to include Sunoo the most he could, he’d tell Heeseung to stop walking for a second so they could walk next to him. He was like a puppy, gets along with everyone and brightens his mood just with a smile. “Sunoo-yah you wanna go on the drop tower?” Jake leaned forward looking back Heeseung to look at him as they approached the ride.
“Oh.. I’m not good with rides.” He said looking up at the height of the tower.
“The drop tower? It’s barely a ride!” Jay said overhearing their conversation. “Come on we’re all going on!”.
“I’ll just wait on the bench okay?”
Jake pouted his lips a little.
-
He sat on the bench watching everyone pass by, most people laughing and pointing at different rides they wanted to go on.
Sunoo noticed the empty space next to him filled in by a slight weight shift causing Sunoo to naturally look over.
Of course. Riki.
Not that it was the worst thing in the world, he seemed very nice and Sunoo wouldn’t mind becoming friends with him or nonetheless being aquatinted with each other. Jay seemed to be fond of him so maybe this stupid love at first sight crush would fade when he got to know him
“You’re Sunoo right?”
That’s when he realized he’s been staring at Riki for far too long. Great, just embarrass yourself more why don’t you Kim Sunoo.
He nodded giving him a little smile “Riki right?”
“Mhm, but you can call me Ni-ki if you’d like.”
God, his voice is so attractive.
“So where’s Jay hyung?”
“Ah, he’s in line for the ride with everyone else”
It might’ve been his overthinking but Riki was very good at eye contact. He looked at Sunoo while he talked and didn’t awkwardly look away when he met his gaze.
“Too scared to go on the ride hm?” He teased him slightly as the corner of his lips curved slightly. Is he teasing him? Sunoo thought to himself. “well, you’re not on the ride either Riki so are you scared?” Sunoo laughed playfully as he spoke.
Riki scoffed a little playfully and let his lips curve slightly. “Not scared of anything Sunoo”. Giving him a smug look. He nodded in response obviously not believing him. The silence between them felt like hours he looked back at the ride to see if they were even on yet. He couldn’t tell.
“So what’s going on with Jay and Jungwon?”
He’s continuing the conversation? I mean even though it’s about someone else, he’s still trying to make conversation, right? Sunoo washed those thoughts from his mind as soon as he thought them.
“Promise not to snitch?” He said turning his body to face the boy putting his leg up on the seat. He held out his pinky hoping Riki wouldn’t be weirded out by the minor physical connection.
To his surprise, Riki interlocked his pinky finger with Sunoo’s he could feel the cold metal from his bulky Chrome Hearts rings.
“Pinky promise.”
He may have been the biggest virgin ever but, that felt like the most intimate thing Sunoo’s experienced. Pinky promises? Is he kidding?
“Jungwon is hopelessly in love with Jay.”
Riki seemed trustworthy.
“Well, tell Jungwon his feelings are definitely mutual.” He said nonchalantly but still slightly smiling at him. Widening his eyes a little he tried to speak before he got rudely interrupted by an overly loud Jay.
He was laughing and just screaming random sentences to jungwon, obviously full of adrenaline from the ride.
“Sunoo-yah! You missed out!”
Riki looked up seeing them all there he silently hoped that nobody would mention how close they were sitting next to each other. He hadn’t even realized it until now. He was just so engrossed in their conversation.
“Oh–Riki”
The look Jay gave both of them made sunoo realize he got the wrong idea. He stared at both of them like he was just interrupting something. “Please don’t ruin this” he repeated in his head.
Riki didn’t seem homophobic? I mean, in all fairness he was talking so casually about Jay and Jungwon having feelings for each other. Was that because he was used to it because of Jay or, he was gay himself?
Either way, it didn’t matter.
“Surprised you didn’t puke on the ride” Riki laughed a little standing up from the bench. He mimicked his movements and sat up as well.
“Hey! That was 5th grade! So you two getting along?”
Before sunoo could try to refute his words, he felt Riki’s arm around him. A million thoughts swirled through Sunoo’s mind, going too fast for him to process it.
“Yeah Sunoo’s pretty cool.”
Out of the corner of his eye he could see all of his friends standing to the side trying to hide their half dropped jaws. For a second, he forgot not everyone knows he’s gay and this was probably just a brotherly moment to Riki.
Not to Sunoo.
“Hey Riki why don’t you come to Sunoo’s after?” Jake chimed in.
“Could’ve asked me first? But yeah you should come Riki.” With his arm still around him, he looked up at him as he spoke. Their height difference wasn’t too drastic but Riki was at-least a head taller than him.
“Sound’s good. Still giving me a ride Jay?”
“About that…” Jays word traveled off as he looked at Jungwon.
“Sorry, I asked Jay hyung if I could ride back with him.”
“Aye! No worries you can ride with Sunoo and Me pretty boy!” Jake said coming in between Sunoo and Riki, breaking his arm off his shoulder. Emptiness on his shoulder made him feel slightly lonely.
“If it’s not a bother–“
“You kidding? You’re one of us Riki-yah”
“Hey don’t take my best friend” Jay said wanting to be included.
•
A little while later after going on the Ferris wheel and some boring rides that Sunoo could handle which of course, his friends made it the best experience despite how childish they were.
The dark night sky now shimmered with stars, hard to see still from the smoke and lights all around.
It wasn’t long before everyone unanimously agreed to start heading back to Sunoo’s house. He agreed enthusiastically, being in their small group rather than in public with thousands of people sounded way more appealing to him.
Walking back to the car he took a deep breath and let himself hear the teenagers behind him laughing and having fun.
“Is Heeseung gonna ride with us?” Sunoo questioned Jake.
“Well duh, try not to get sick of us sunnie!” He said as they reached the car and he clicked his car keys twice unlocking the front and back doors.
They said they’re goodbyes to the rest of the group until they’d see them in around 30 minutes if traffic was being nice to them tonight. Sunoo got in the car behind the passenger seat and Riki got in on the other side of him. He buckled up his seatbelt. Normally, he wouldn’t but Jake wasn’t always the most reliable driver.
“Is that your nickname?” Riki said quietly addressing Sunoo.
“Is what?”
“Sunnie?”
“Oh yeah it’s stupid.”
“I think it’s sweet.”
The hottest man he’s ever laid his eyes on was calling his stupid nickname his mom gave him that eventually his friends picked up, sweet? Although, it made him feel a little better about his childish nickname.
•
Sunoo looked out the window as they drove down the dark backroads silently rating all of the rich houses in the neighborhood with Riki. when all of the sudden ‘The Party & The After Party’ by The Weeknd started playing on the radio.
“Nope. Turn it off Jake.” He demanded.
The Weeknd? Really? And considering their earlier uncomfortable conversation, he knew exactly what he was trying to do and Sunoo wasn’t going to let it slide.
“No thanks. I thought you love this song Sunoo-yah?”
“I don’t think Riki wants to listen to this.”
Sure, putting the blame on him was easier.
“Actually I like this song.”
What?
Great. Of course just Sunoo’s luck. The song was fucking amazing, but the lyrics and the sensual beat of this stupid song Sunoo loved made this moment in a car with 3 other guys feel unnecessarily intimate.
“Heeseung hyung can you please turn this off.” Sunoo pleaded hoping he would feel bad for him.
Heeseung just chuckled a little “Hey you heard Jake.” That little comment caused Jake to begin flirting with him of course, he just tuned them out used to their gross flirting.
“You like The Weeknd hm?”
Sunoo wanted to crawl in his skin so he wouldn’t have to say it.
“Yeah, I mean I think he’s a good singer.”
“Yeah?”
Sunoo felt his heartbeat start to speed up, was he flirting? To the naked eye a simple ‘yeah?’ was just simple conversation but the way he lowered his voice before he said it. No straight man does that, right?
Sunoo just nodded.
Riki nodded back and leaned back spreading his legs more with the leftover room in his seat.
Throughout the car ride, they talked like they had known each other for years. Considering they were gonna be in the car for another 40 or so minutes he made conversation back. Sunoo got nervous occasionally and would just nod, but Riki continued the conversation.
Asking about what school he goes to, more about his music taste, his birthday, stupid memories with friends and then he said something that made Sunoo’s heart stop.
“Are you nervous Sunoo?”
Sunoo turned his head to look at Riki only to see that he was already looking at him. It felt like something out of a movie, especially with the music playing in the background while Heeseung and Jake talked.
God how he wished he’d turn down that music.
“A little” he said making eye contact with him.
Sunoo’s eyes wandered to Riki’s lips, then the darkened freckle on his chin and under his eye. Guessing he noticed and he smiled a little ever so slightly revealing his sparkling white teeth.
Sunoo was looking at him with rose colored glasses and he didn’t wanna look at him any other way. Nobody could pull Sunoo away from the boy’s captivating looks.
In attempt to avoid the awkward silence Sunoo just opened his mouth and tried to keep the conversation going.
“Oh–you have your helix pierced?”
Riki nodded and tucked a piece of his shiny dark hair behind his ear to show Sunoo the metal hoop in his ear.
“That’s so cool, did it hurt?”
“Actually, it wasn’t that bad compared to other piercings I’ve had.”
Sunoo tilted his head a little in confusion, it looked like he only had his helix and his first hole on his ear pierced.
“Ah sorry, I had an eyebrow piercing a while ago. Now that hurt like hell.” He laughed a little.
At the mention of an eyebrow piercing sunoo naturally looked at his eyebrows and god even they were perfect. But there was a tiny scar at the arch of his brow, assuming that’s where he had it pierced.
“Holy shit– I think I’d rather die than sounds painful.”
Riki laughed “Yeah well I looked cool for a while so it was worth it”
“I think you look cool still.”
Sunoo mentally bit his lip hoping and praying Ni-ki would match his energy.
“Thanks Sunoo.”
The way he spoke was soft, almost gentle. It comforted him in a way that didn’t made him as nervous anymore despite how attractive the boy still was.
•
By the time they reached Sunoo’s house there was already 2 cars in his driveway. Luckily his sister left hours ago to hangout with one of her friends so he wouldn’t have to worry about keeping her away from his friends. They liked to tease her a little.
The first car belonged to Jay who rode with Jungwon and the second car belonged to Sunghoon who rode with his girlfriend, Aria.
They walked into the house and Sunoo could’ve sworn they’ve been there for hours. Loud music and laughing filled Sunoo’s living room as they all sat down on his sofa.
“About time!!” Aria said standing up from the sofa to give Sunoo a hug. She was very much a hug person and he learned to deal with it because of how sweet she was.
Riki stood comfortably behind Sunoo and said hi to everybody before sitting down in the empty space in between Sunoo and Jay. Heeseung and Jake following sitting across the couch from them. Sunoo’s sofa was more than enough room for everyone. His mom called it a ‘conversation pit’ though he’s not sure if she made that up or if that’s actually the name of the sofa.
“So when are we drinking?” Jake said enthusiastically looking around at everyone for approval.
“Hold on– you guys didn’t say anything about drinking?” Sunoo said looking at Jake now.
“No pressure Sunoo.” Jay said leaning forward looking past Ni-Ki to comfort Sunoo.
“No– I mean it’s okay. As long as Jungwon promises to control himself.”
Jungwon pretended to look offended and raised his voice girlishly “I can control myself sunnie!!” To which Jay laughed a little.
-
After they finished with their funny bickering, everyone began walking down the stairs to Sunoo’s basement. His mom installed a bar a few years back which is perfect for this moment.
“Your house is really nice Sunoo” he heard from behind him walking down the stairs but he could tell it was Riki who said it.
“Perks of having divorced parents I guess” he said giggling away the uncomfortable subject which Riki laughed a little at as-well.
Once they were finally in the basement Sunoo adjusted the lights to be bright enough to see where you’re walking but not bright enough to hurt your eyes. He thought it was the perfect ratio. If you walked into a real bar and compared it to the one in Sunoo’s room, it wasn’t much different at all.
Everyone sat down at the tall bar stools and Jay went behind the bar. “Since I’m the oldest–“
“Actually I’m the oldest” Heeseung added sassily.
“By like a few months and I’m mentally older! Like I was saying, I’ll make your drinks so you guys don’t get alcohol poisoning. Sound good?”
Knowing Jay was probably the most responsible out of all of them, they all agreed in unison.
After everyone had at-least a few sips or more into their system, they began playing stupid games.
Sunoo and Jungwon played their favorite just dance song ‘Girlfriend’ by Avril Lavigne. Sunoo usually got shy dancing in front of other people but after he had at-least one drink in him, he didn’t care anymore and just had fun with his best friend.
He played pool with Riki, Aria, and Sunghoon. Although he never played before Riki wanted to be on his team and taught him the basics. He was extremely patient with him even though he made their team lose.
Upbeat music played in the back but it couldn’t mask the sound of everyone laughing and having fun.
There wasn’t a moment of awkwardness. Especially not between him and Riki which he valued a lot considering they just met and they just clicked.
Talking with him just made sense.
-
Jay made drinks exactly how sunoo liked, able to taste the alcohol just barely but there was enough in one drink to make you drunk. After having about 3 drinks sunoo felt his face getting hot and his ears flushed red.
Jake of course, was in charge of the playlist and was playing “Novacane” by Frank ocean.
After a while everyone spread out a little leaving Sunoo and Riki together while Jungwon and Jay were making out behind the bar. “Are they serious?” Riki laughed a little adjusting himself on his seat at the bar which caused Sunoo to laugh, mainly at the fact everything was halarious when he’s tipsy.
Riki only had one drink and he was still nursing it in his hand.
Suddenly Riki looked so attractive. Sure, he was attractive before but now Sunoo just wanted to kiss him and didn’t care about the consequences or if Riki turned him down. If he was sober, he’d probably never recover from the embarrassment.
Riki got up to go to the bathroom so Sunoo made himself his fourth drink considering Jay was a little busy with his tongue down Jungwon’s throat. He already knew they were going to have an insane debrief after this.
He added 90% vodka and 10% coke. Already a horrible ratio but the alcohol just seemed to slip down his throat without burning by now.
-
“Isn’t that your fourth drink hm?” Riki said walking up to stand beside Sunoo’s stool he was sitting at, leaning against the tabletop.
“What about it Riki?” Sunoo said slurring his words slightly as he looked up at the taller boy. He raised his eyebrows a little almost trying to tempt Riki. Of course that sounded ridiculous considering he was more than likely straight, but with Sunoo not being in his right mind, It sounded perfect.
Not exactly sure why he was tempting him I mean he wanted to at-least be friends with Riki and that could ruin everything. But again, almost four drinks in, nothing mattered now.
“What’s in that drink sunnie?” The nickname Sunoo hated since he was kid rolled off his tongue so well it was now easily his favorite.
Sunoo swiveled his chair a little to face the standing boy and he handed his drink to him “Try it!”
“Not drugging me right?” He grimaced a little at the boy looking up at him.
“Promise.”
He put the cup to his lips at the exact same spot Sunoo put his lips. It felt natural and the fact Riki wasn’t grossed out about offering to share his drink made him feel more comfortable.
As soon as the alcohol touched his tongue he made a sour face and handed his drink back.
“What’s wrong?”
“Sunoo did you make that drink or did Jay?”
“Well Jays a little bit busy so I may have” he gestured over to Jungwon and Jay still making out. His motions became more animated along with his expressions as he became increasingly intoxicated.
“It’s straight vodka.”
Sunoo just giggled.
“Alright, give me the drink.”
“No?”
“Sunoo. 3 drinks was already more than enough come on.” He said as he held out his hand for his drink.
The sound of them going back and forth makes Jungwon break away from Jays kiss and look at Sunoo.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing wonie don’t worry” Sunoo’s mouth watered as he slurred his words.
Jay stepped forward and handled Sunoo’s drink off the tabletop and sniffed it. It was impossible to smell anything other than straight vodka. “Alright Sunoo that’s enough.”
In attempts to protest he stands up, his knees almost giving out as soon as he hit the floor. Hitting the ground made him realize how drunk he was at this point and he wobbled trying to balance himself. Before he could do it himself, Riki put his hands gently but firm enough to keep him straight on his waist steadying him “Easy Sunoo.” He said in a soft voice.
“Sit back down okay?”
Sunoo sat back down in the bar stool without hesitation.
Riki went behind the bar and opened the fridge pulling out a cold bottle of water and came back to Sunoo. Handing him the water, he took it from his hand letting his finger rest on the other boys for a little too long.
His fingers were too weak from the alcohol getting to him, struggling to open the cap.
“Need help?”
He nodded.
Riki undid the cap enough so he could just pull it off.
“Can you drink it by yourself?”
He shook his head.
“Alright, lift up ur chin for me and we’ll do small sips okay?”.
Sunoo looked up at him. Was he really going to help him drink his water? For a second, he forgot who he was with. A man he met tonight, Jays best friend, a straight guy. None of these things were exactly boyfriend material.
His actions completely contradicted everything.
Maybe he was like this with everyone, Sunoo was drunk and he was just trying to be a good person. Right? The voice in the back of his head told him ‘he likes you’ but he barely knew Riki.
He wants to know him more but right now, he has no idea what his personality is like. Would he actually do this for anyone else or just sunoo? Only time would tell and whether they turned out to be friends or something more, he would be content with it.
But it wouldn’t be the kind of friendship he has with Jungwon. Apart of him would always think Riki was the most attractive man he’s ever seen but again, maybe that would change?
Nonetheless, he lifted up his chin and Riki put his pointer finger under his chin, just in case.
“Open up.” He said and Sunoo complied parting his lips just enough.
The cold liquid went down his throat in small acronyms at a perfect speed for Sunoo’s inability to do it himself. The refreshing water distracted him from the way Riki was intently staring at his mouth as he poured the water.
Overthinking was going to be the death of him.
“Mhm, good boy. You should head to bed okay?”
Sunoo felt like a 13 year old girl texting her crush on Snapchat for the first time. He felt his stomach turn with butterflies, he wanted to run around and scream. He wanted to hear Riki call him that again.
So many emotions washed over him with just two words. How did he already have that effect on him?
‘Good boy’ was he serious?
Suddenly his lovestruck mindset turned into anger.
He wanted to call him a fucking queer baiter, wanted to call him out for the way he was acting. But what if he wasn’t just ‘baiting’?
“Why’d you say that Riki.” He said under his breath but loud enough that he could hear him. He wanted him to hear.
“Say what?” He looked clueless.
“You just said ‘good boy’.”
“Oh. Are you..?”
Sunoo nodded.
The way he didn’t even say the word ‘Gay’ made his stomach turn. Sunoo’s vision fogged up, he felt himself about to blackout.
Riki still had his pointer finger underneath his chin, he moved his thumb to Sunoo’s chin and turned his head to face him. His heart started to race.
Riki leaned in.