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A Polite Conversation

Summary:

Maul and Obi-Wan have a civil discussion...from a certain point of view.

Written for Fandom Empire Bingo 2025 - Prompt: Healthy
and Sweet and Short September 2025 - Prompt: Healthy
and /r/FanFiction's Trope Bingo 2025 - Prompt: Humor

Work Text:

“Well, you look remarkably healthy, all things considered,” Obi-Wan offered, after Maul had finished a long-winded rant about his living conditions over the past decade or so, interspersed with declarations of vengeance.

Maul seemed terribly unimpressed with Obi-Wan’s response. “You will not be so flippant when I have finished with you, Kenobi.”

Frankly, Obi-Wan thought that was uncalled for. He was being nothing if not civil, especially considering Maul had, in fact, murdered Qui-Gon and tried to subsequently murder Obi-Wan.

“Yes, yes, you want to break me, drag me into the darkness,” Obi-Wan said. “I’m afraid I’ll have to decline.”