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2025-09-25
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Accidental baby trapping

Summary:

So, Shang Qinghua was in trouble.
Not the type fuck, I accidentally betrayed my king and now he's going to kill me. More than the type holy shit, I could be about to end the world.

It was not an exaggeration. The system was silent – maybe it was trying to get back online? Had it broken forever? Was he completely alone? – and he hadn't heard from him yet, but he didn't need that damn thing to know for sure how much he was in the shit.

The baby next to him woke up at that moment, demanding attention, and the poor cultivator hurried to take a bottle of lucky milk made by him and feed him.

Really, what were the chances that he would find and save his protagonist?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

 

 

 

 

So, Shang Qinghua was in trouble. 

Not the type fuck, I accidentally betrayed my king and now he's going to kill me. More than the type holy shit, I could be about to end the world.

It was not an exaggeration. The system was silent – maybe it was trying to get back online? Had it broken forever? Was he completely alone? – and he hadn't heard from him yet, but he didn't need that damn thing to know for sure how much he was in the shit.

The child next to him woke up at that moment, demanding attention, and the poor cultivator hurried to take a bottle of lucky milk made by him and feed him.

Really, what were the chances that he would find and save his protagonist? 

 

 

 

 

 

Like all the problems of Shang Qinghua's second life, it all started while he was on a mission for the sect. 

It was a fundamental mission to become chief disciple of An Ding Peak, and make shoes for the current one. It was necessary for his future career as a thigh hugger of Mobei-jun, and he did not intend to fail.

It was in a way fortunate: he did not find himself involved in the great war between the cultivators and the demon king, and probably his shidi would have died from his own incompetence.

 

(Not that he remembered the latter perfectly, and he wasn't sure if he should be the one to eliminate the unwelcome rival, but Shang Qinghua wasn't going to kill a random NPC, thank you very much.)

 

He was walking along a river, his feet hurting and a wolf's hunger, when he heard it. 

The cry of a baby.

"I'm hallucinating," he muttered to himself, "I really need to stop and eat something."

However, they were not hallucinations. The more he walked, the more the crying increased, until he came near a reed bed and found a basket.

He leaned over slightly, and almost had a heart attack.

There was a child in there! A real baby, not a strange hallucination due to lack of sleep or hunger! 

What was worse, the child had blankets in the colors of Huan Hua Palace! 

He wasn't stupid – whatever his best anti-fan said every time he released a new chapter – and he knew how to do the math.

The time was right, the place was the Luo River, and those colors, dammit.

He had just found Luo Binghe.

"Crap..." he exhaled, not knowing which God to curse. Probably just himself, "You shouldn't be here... No, actually, I probably shouldn't be here, but there was a really important mission and I didn't want to end up in the middle of a war with demons... And you're not understanding anything I said, are you?"

In fact, the newborn had not understood anything of what he had said, and continued to cry at the top of his lungs. 

Not that he blamed him, he too would cry like crazy if, at a few days old, he was tossed from one side to the other and had nothing hot on him and nothing to eat.

That was also his fault, but still... Hey, where were the fishermen? They should have fished baby Binghe and given him a name! Speaking of bad timing!

Or had he written that little Luo Binghe would not be found by fishermen until he had almost died of hypothermia? He couldn't have written something like that, could he?

But then, he had written hundreds, thousands of words not only of poor sex scenes, but also of others in which he made his protagonist suffer in order to temper him better and represent the ideal harem protagonist.

So yes, childhood hypothermia was a possibility.

"Look, I'm sorry for all the trouble I got you into... and for the ones you'll end up in the future and in the next hundreds of years... But hey, you'll have over three hundred wives and... yeah, I don't remember the exact number, but the readers paid to give you more wives, so I complied... crap, don't cry like that, in the end everything will be fine, you will take revenge on all those who have hurt you... except me, isn't it? I have absolutely nothing to do with it! Well in a way it's a bit my fault, but..."

He paused, feeling silly. What was he still doing there? He should have gone by now! 

The protagonist will be fine! The world was shaped especially for him. He could not die. 

Someone will surely come to save him and then the story will proceed as it should.

He had convinced himself of it when he was about to leave, until an intrusive thought stopped him.

And if that someone who had to save him from certain death was Shang Qinghua? 

It should not be possible. That was the task of the fishermen. It was difficult for him to be wrong. At least that was an inseparable plot point!

Yet, there were no other boats in sight. There was only him and Luo Binghe, who cried desperately for a minimum of comfort. 

Shang Qinghua should have left. He tried to ask the System, but that bastard fell silent. There was no sign of life, except for a suspicious beep, like a phone disconnected and waiting for a technician to fix it.

Shang Qinghua had to make a decision.

He knew what he had to do. He had written it! 

Unfortunately for him, he was a spineless man with a too soft heart.

Shang Qinghua took the baby.

 

 

 

"You're lucky, boy," Shang Qinghua sighed, as Luo Binghe drank greedily from his bottle, "If the System had told me to leave you there, I would have done it. No doubt, no problem of conscience. I would have gone straight on my way, without turning around. “

Luo Binghe ignored him, continuing to drink, and the cultivator sighed. Well, now what should he have done?

Because of the war, he had found no one waiting for him when he returned to the sect, the few remaining shidis had been too busy to pay attention to him, so he had been able to slip into his room without anyone stopping him and asking him questions.

Questions like hey, since when have you had a baby?

Yes, it would have been complicated to explain. 

This left him with a tough nut to crack. Certainly, he could not keep the protagonist. It wasn't in the plot! 

Also, what about the poor washerwoman? The poor woman would have died alone, without having the love of her adopted son nearby, exploited until the last day by her petty masters.

Shang Qinghua had already given her an ungrateful fate. That he at least had the consolation of a child to raise!

"I could take you to her," he muttered, unconsciously rocking the brat, "Of course, maybe I should wait a bit, since I have things to do and even she is not exactly in a position to take care of a newborn baby... but he would love you! Fuck, how much he would love you. All your life, you will be looking for a woman who loves you as she loved you... Not that you'll succeed, and maybe seeking affection with MILFs isn't exactly the best idea emotionally... but you will be fine. I think..."

He was so lost in his ramblings that he did not notice the familiar sound of a portal opening until it was too late.

"Qinghua..."

The cultivator stiffened and turned around. He and Mobei-jun stared at each other. The scene could have been comical if it hadn't been for the fact that his king was injured and probably, and Shang Qinghua had a child with him, who surely couldn't stand the beatings of a Demon Lord as well as he could.

"My king..." He began to stutter, as panic made its way through him.

Mobei-jun sniffled out, and said, "Human, but not human. Demon, but not demon. Qinghua, that child is half a demon."

Obviously he would have realized it. It was the first thing he would say to Luo Binghe when they met, many years from now. 

Not now!

"He is..." he confirmed. What was the point of lying? Mobei-jun already knew, "But he's not ready to fight you! He is still young, he is not strong and..."

He thought he would faint at how fast the demon moved, and he was close to them. Mobei put his hands on his shoulders, without squeezing tightly, a concentrated look that almost frightened him. 

It's not fair that he looks so sexy even now, the cultivator cried internally. Really, what had he done wrong in his past life by being regularly beaten up by his ideal man and being considered less than garbage?

Ah yes, he had written a trashy novel where 90% of the male characters died and the women became wives of the protagonist without much to add to the story.

Surely he had been cursed by all his anti-fans many, many times to end up like this.

"I take my responsibilities."

Shang Qinghua gasped, "What?"

"Our courtship did not proceed as I intended," the demon continued and waited, what courtship, what was he talking about?, "I did not mean to dishonor you before the wedding. I take my responsibilities with you and our son. Our blood must have mixed during our courtship, and I didn't notice. Even though it was accidental, I won't shy away from my responsibilities."

Holy crap. Son? Mobei-jun, a man can't get pregnant! And yes, that's a half-demon, but even when sealed, it's clear to anyone that he's not a half-demon of the ice! 

"Wait, that's not the case..."

His sentence, however, was covered by a cheerful trill.

An inscription of the System appeared in front of him. The bastard was back.

 

CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!

Important things need to be repeated three times! You started a new event.

CANON DIVERGENCE: A BIG, HAPPY FAMILY.

We have already taken your points to make the event operational, we wish you the best!

 

Shang Qinghua paled, if possible, even more. And he actually fainted when he actually saw how many points the System had taken away from him for an update that he had not approved! 

His poor points!

 

 

 

Notes:

Mobei-jun to Luo Binghe:" Your mother is a bit dramatic, but he will be fine."

Mobei-jun knows that's not how babies are made, but since his courtship is going so slowly, he's decided to gaslight the fuck out of Shang Qinghua's mind. So, who's baby-trapping who here?