Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

*POV: Heels*

“Three tickets for Stray Kids please.” I ask the man in the booth.

Sighing the man goes into the drawer and pulls out three small paper tickets.

“Here you go.” He says with a monotone voice and I grab them.

Holding them up to the sun I joyfully whisper “yessssss.”

My sparkling eyes water before my friend smacks me in the back.

“Bruh, I’ve never even heard of these people. I doubt you know what popular means.” My friend Ryan says.

“You’ll never understand.” I say with teary eyes before turning away.

“It’s ok, he’s a man some just don’t understand how monumental this is. Especially for you! It’s been like fifty years since you willingly went outside.” My friend from middle school Christy cried.

“Monumental like the Lemonade album.” I say with a fake British accent while carefully holding my air Grammy.

*Pov: Ryan*

Walking into the stadium you could hear the crowd cheering for some weird stray kittens or something.

Why do people even like these guys? Haven’t they heard of the great Tamatoa? That’s where the real talent is!

As I try to find the bathroom a random guy taps me on the shoulder.

“Hey cutie, what’s your name?” Comes from the breath of a drunk man as he hangs his arm on my shoulder.

“What my name is, is irrelevant. Get off me or I’ll make you.” I say a little bit heated.

“Chill dude. I just want your number and to buy you a drink.” Comes the stinky voice of a drunk man.

I try to remove him from me as another man walks up to us.

“Is this man bothering you?” A British voice asks.

I turn around and see Tom Holland. Wait… Tom Holland!

The drunk man puts a little bit more pressure on my neck and I blink three times.

“I’m not bothering him. Scram if you know what’s best for yuh kid.” The drunk said. We were making a scene and I was getting more and more anxious.

*POV: Heels*

“How do these newfangled inventions work?” I say as I struggle to comprehend such technical devices.

“My dude, itz a camera…” Christy laughs.

“Sureeeee but it’s impossible to use!” I cry.

Christy snatches the camera. “Boop.” She smiles as she presses a magical button that just suddenly appeared and the camera goes off.

“It’s magic!” I say as I stare at her.

“No, no. Don’t give me that look. I can see the gears in your head turning. Power down! Your brain will start to hurt if you think too much!” Christy warns between backing away.

“Witch! Witch!” I yell as I point at her.

“Oh my gawwwd. The button is on the bottom.” Christy shouts from the nearest stairs.

“You will not escape witch!!!” I scream. Running towards her.

*Add Break: Del Dumplings*

We now pause this program to talk about our sponsor: Dumplings!

Three little dumplings sitting in a bowl.

One falls out, she tumbles and rolls.

A dog comes by with a glimmer in his eyes.

With a knife and some hunger he cuts and dices.

Two horrified dumplings sitting in a bowl.

They huddle together before life would be no more.

Avery! Get the sake! They’re playing the add again!

This is why I should’ve stayed with mom!

*POV: Ryan*

“Do you mind if you put the knife down?” I ask calmly to the drunk holding me hostage.

“No can do kid but if you come quietly I have candy in my white van.” Tomas says with beer stinking my nose.

“Wait when did we learn the drunk guy’s name.” Asked Tom Hiddleston as he karate chops Tomas in the neck.

“The real question is when you got here… wait why are you here… wait why am I here?” I say with confusion over a great many things.

“It’s ok, there was no plot in the first place!” Says Tom Holland joyfully.

“Ah…”

*POV: Heels*

“Ahhhhhhh!” Screeches my victim as she tries to escape my vision.

“Gurl! Get a life.” Christy cries as she runs to the left at the corner and through a red door that says “Staff Only”.

Click.

“Get out here now Christy! I’ll give you till the count of-… Ryan? What are you doing here? Also who’re your new friends.” I say as I point to the direction of some weirdos.

Chapter Text

*POV: Christy*

As I walk through the room I see some unusual… and exceedingly peculiar… and altogether quite impossible to describe… art pieces.

A framed picture of Taylor Swift chewing on little babies to the left.

A giant statue of Lady Gaga from 2013 in the middle of the room.

Freddy Fazbear wearing a shirt with a cute pink turtle on the right… wait.

“Freddy Fazbear! How did you get here?!” I scream.

“Shhhhh.” Freddy Fazbear whispers with a pointer to my mouth. Then the finger moves to a dark corner.

“Who woke me up? Is it time to start the concert?” A very not sober black haired girl says struggling to talk on a very fancy bed. That froot looks familiar…

*POV: Ryan*

“And that’s how I met your dad.” I say with pride.

“I still can’t believe you were almost named Skywalker! That would have been crazy!” Tom Holland decrees as he slaps Tom Hiddleston’s knee.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Says this blonde girl. Who always made me doubt. Wait… wrong pop girl.

“O.M.G. It’s Billie Eyelash. I’m such a huge fan! I loved your song Espresso.” Heels says.

“Uhhhh… how much farther is the joke of getting the wrong music artist gonna last before the audience leaves?” Billie Eilish asks.

*POV: Christy*

“Lorde! I’m such a huge fannnnn! I love your song Royals!” Christy gleams.

“Always great to meet a fan.” Charli XCX laughs.

“How did you guys meet?” Christy questions with curiosity.

“We met on Omegle.” Charli says with drunk confidence.

“No it was club penguin.” Freddy Fazbear states.

“Are you sure? You aren’t pulling my leg are you?” Charli jokes.

“Yes… I think… I’m pretty sure.” Freddy Fazbear says starting to question if memory serves correct.

*Flashback when you met me*

“Why did you get a buzzcut?” Daniel Radcliffe asks a hairless Joe Locke.

“Why did you get your hair bleached?” Joe Locke retorts.

“What did that have to do with you guys meeting?” Billie whispered before getting shushed by everyone.

“It’s called world building!” The author of this terrible story writes.

“Are you Freddy Fazbear? I’ve always wanted to try one of your pizzas.” A slightly younger Charli XCX asks.

“Yes, I am. Do you want pepperoni with that or plain?” Mr. Fazbear asks.

“Plain please.” The Lady XCX states.

*Flashback over*

“Ahhh, good times.” Charli says as she lies back on her bed.

“So why are you guys here?” Christy asks.

“Right so…” Charli says trying to start a flashback.

“No. No. No. No flashback.” Christy denials her.

“Ok, fine!!! I’m supposed to be a surprise guest. We’re gonna perform our new remixes of U (originally with Tablo) and Party 4 U.” Charli says like she didn’t just drop a bunch of beans.

“Speaking of the show, I gotta go or I’ll miss Mountains!” Christy exclaims and runs into a red door.

“Thank you , see you on stage!” Christy quickly says, picking up herself from the floor and running out.

“That’s not… well I hope she doesn’t get into too much trouble.” Freddy Fazbear sighs turning to Charli.

*POV: Heels*

“And that’s why hot latinas are the best!” I shout.

“People are staring, you need to tone it down.” Ryan whispers quietly as he looks around.

“I wish the crew could have stayed with us.” I say crying.

“They all had to get to their seats and we do too. The show is about to start. I want to see RM!” Ryan continues to whisper.

“At least get the right group! RM is part of BTS, not Stray Kids!” I sigh in disgust.

“I knew that, I meant Young-Jae!” Ryan says trying to defend himself.

“Let’s just get to our seats…” I blink in disbelief.

*POV: Christy*

As I walk through the dark corridors I can’t see much so I feel around to find my direction. I stop when I feel some curtains.

“Hey, who are you?” I hear a man shout.

I turn around and see a familiar face but I can’t pinpoint where in the dark of the hall.

“Wait… you’re-“ I say before getting cut off.

“Felix, yeah but that’s not the question. Who are you?” Felix asks again sternly with his arms crossed.

“Oh, I’m Christy and got lost on my way to my seat! I think I made the wrong turn like 10 turns ago. Could you help me find my way out of here so I can get to it?” I say rather embarrassed.

“I don’t have time for this. You’ll want to turn left from that hallway and there’ll-“ Felix starts before getting cut off by the floor starting to tremble.

Chapter Text

*POV: Ryan*

“So glad we made it to our seats before the show started.” I say with exhaustion. I look at Heels and they look lost in thought. “Are you ok?”

“Where’s Christy?” Heels asks with a grimace.

“Uhhhh… I’m sure she’ll find her way back to us.” I whisper with limited confidence. Heels can just barely make out the words as the crowd gets louder as it gets closer to start time.

“I can’t believe I lost her. I’m such a bad friend.” Heels cries with their hands covering their face.

“Me too, me too.” I say as I hug them.

The sounds of drums explode and smoke climbs from the stage floor into the sky. We turn our heads to watch the lights dance and see the plate in the middle lift. Two bodies are visible.

“Wait is that-?” I question while squinting at her.

“Yep.” Heels cut me off with disbelief.

I couldn’t believe my eyes as I see Christy on stage with Felix.

“Christy, over here!” Heels shouts while waving at her.

*POV: Christy*

“Felix, I see my friends!” I yell at Felix over the noise of the crowd.

“I’ll have security escort you to them. Go that way!” Felix shouts pointing to the left.

“Ok, thank you!” I shout before walking in that direction and meeting with a security guard.

As the guard led me to my friends, I could hear Felix shout into the mic to hype up the crowd.

I thanked the guard and she left to go do security things.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry we left you alone.” Heels cries as they jump at me for a hug.

“We got a heart attack when we realized.” Ryan says softly.

“It’s ok, we got back to each other in the end!” I say try to brighten the mood.

As we cry together the show starts and as music blasts on I think about the crazy day I had. In between tracks we’d talk about what was going on while I was lost.

Apparently I missed Ryan getting saved by two Tom’s from assault.

*POV: Heels*

Watching the show I look at the crowd and notice all the people we met today.

“Before this last song, we’re gonna perform our new remix of U with the one and only Charli XCX.” Bang Chan yells.

Charli XCX walks onto the stage and says “We will also be performing a remix of Party 4 U. Put your hands up.” She points at the crowd and her finger lingers on our spot for just a split second longer than everyone else.

“Christy, did you meet Charli XCX?” I ask with excitement. She nods and before we could talk more the drums start up again and Stray Kids begin performing U.

The songs finish with style and as we get up to leave the speakers say one final thing. “If we could get Christy and her friends to backstage please?”

“We should go.” Christy yells and the three of us walk to a security guard who leads us to backstage.

*POV: Ryan*

“Hey girl!” Charli says while walking up to us.

“Hi Charli!” I hear Christy say joyfully. They then hug.

“I got you pizza.” Charli yells into a curtain. You can hear footsteps and Freddy Fazbear appears.

I take a step back out of shock.

“Freddy Fazbear?” I question before passing out.

*POV: Heels*

“Haha.” I laugh and gently kick the passed out Ryan.

“Can I get an autograph?” I ask Charli XCX with starry eyes.

“Of course babe!” Charli says and signs her name on my back.

“This is the best day ever!” I smile.

“What about us?” Han jokes while walking in.

“Yeah what about you?” I joke back.

*POV: Han*

“And that’s how I met your mother.” I say to Jeramy before closing the book.

“Ewwww.” Shouts Jeramy “I am so disgusted dad!”

“You can go to sleep now.” I say before giving Jeramy a goodnight kiss.

The End… Or Is It…?

No, it is. Goodnight everyone! Stop reading this on the toilet tho!