Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“And for you?” Caelus asks from behind the counter in the Party Car. “I have some serious skills now, so ask for whatever kind of drink you want.”

Dan Heng pauses, considers, as he always does. He looks at March, who is sipping a drink as pink as her hair and swinging her legs. She had asked for a drink that stirred up “whimsy.” Himeko chose “celebration,” and Welt, after much thought, had decided to ask for “growth.” They’re still exhausted from their final fight with the Harmonious Choir, and Caelus had offered to make drinks to settle them all down.

“I’d like ‘nostalgia,’” Dan Heng says. Himeko shoots him a sympathetic glance.

“Gotcha. Coming up.” Caelus performs some unorthodox wizardry, throwing dark blue and crimson red liquids into a shaker with some ice. He strains it into a small glass. “Huh. Not the color I expected.”

Shimmering silver liquid fills the glass. Dan Heng picks it up and sips; it has an interesting flavor, acerbic with a sparkling edge. It’s exactly what he wants right now.

“It’s bitter,” he says. “But good.”

Caelus looks like he’s deciding whether to say something funny or heartwarming. Before he has a chance, Himeko asks, “Thinking about the past?”

“Thinking about how I wish I could think about the past.” There’s nothing to think about if he can’t remember. He’s nostalgic for the idea of nostalgia, as he lacks the good memories along with the bad. Dan Feng’s life has loomed over him for as long as he can remember, but he knows so little about him. He can only access one percent of the puzzle, not enough to even frame the hole left by the missing pieces.

Not that he isn’t grateful for what he has now, or more precisely, who. He listens to March playfully teasing Caelus, chats with Pom-Pom about their next warp, then meanders over to the couch and joins Himeko and Welt in a philosophical discussion. Each of the members of the Astral Express are so precious to him, as are their journeys together. He knows that he has their unconditional support, and he aspires to support them in the same way. The night grows long, and he finds himself sipping a second drink of the same kind.

Still, when he goes to bed, the bitter aftertaste lingers on his tongue. Perhaps it is because he frequently dreams of being hunted. Of five, three must pay the price. Maybe asking for nostalgia was a mistake.

The next time he opens his eyes, he finds himself standing on the Luofu. His heartrate speeds up, and he sways on his feet. Where are his friends? How did he get here? The pennant banners have darker patterns than he remembers, and the style of dress is also slightly antiquated, but this is unmistakably the Luofu. He’s standing under the shadow of a large building that he does not recognize. He reaches up to feel his antlers with trepidation, realizing that he’s transformed into his Imbibitor Lunae form. What the fuck happened to him?

“There you are,” says an almost-familiar voice.

Dan Heng’s blood runs cold. He recognizes that voice, even if the timbre and tone is slightly different. Its owner’s appearance also differs slightly: Silvery hair instead of midnight blue, cleaner clothing, and he hasn’t tried to kill Dan Heng on sight. These details indicate this isn’t the Blade that he knows. Still, the predatory look in his eyes is familiar, and Dan Heng finds himself backing up into an alleyway on instinct.

“It’s not like you to be concerned about privacy,” says Blade, licking his bottom lip. “Did you have something special in mind?”

And before Dan Heng can move, suddenly Blade is kissing him. Blade’s hand cups the side of his face, and his lips move passionately against Dan Heng’s. Shocked, Dan Heng swallows and his mouth opens. This is the last thing he expected, and he freezes, his thoughts racing. Blade licks the seam of his lips, making Dan Heng stumble backwards—but there is Blade’s hand at his back, holding him up.

Blade’s hands roam lower, groping his ass. Dan Heng gasps into his mouth, a spark of uncontainable electricity floating up his spine. Blade presses him into the wall with the weight of his body. He can feel Blade’s mouth grinning against his, asking “What’s the matter?” as if he expects Dan Heng to be into this.

Breathless, Dan Heng’s mind is blank. He blinks and looks at Blade’s face, full of a different hunger than the one he’s used to, his lips parted.

Then a hand presses against his throat, hard, shoving him against the wall.

“You are not Dan Feng,” Blade growls. “Who are you?”

Dan Heng’s whole body is tingling. Whether it’s from the kiss or from being choked, he doesn’t know—but he ekes out, “You’ll need to make it easier for me to talk if you want answers.”

Blade’s eyes flash, and his hand loosens significantly. But he doesn’t let go. “You sound like him,” he says suspiciously. “You look like him. But you are not Dan Feng.”

Despite Dan Heng’s arousal and general confusion, he manages to see the irony in the situation. If the Blade he knows would accept that he is not Dan Feng, it would solve many of his problems.

Dan Heng tries to swallow. “Who are you?”

Blade’s face shifts from a mixture of suspicion and anger into one of confusion. “Who am I? No matter who you are, imposter, you should know who I am.” His voice drips with arrogance.

“I don’t know, so just tell me.”

“I am none other than Yingxing, the greatest craftsman on the Xianzhou Alliance, Furnace Master as awarded by the Artisanship Commission, and member of the esteemed High Cloud Quintet.” His eyebrows come together. “Dan Feng? Is that really you? Did something happen?”

Reality shifts around Dan Heng. The High Cloud Quintet. The older style of clothing. Not Blade, but Yingxing.

“I think that I may have time traveled.”

Yingxing—not Blade—steps back, letting his hand fall. Dan Heng sinks to the ground, coughing, his hand massaging his throat. “I suppose no one else has the power to emulate the High Elder… Very well. You must be him. But you really don’t know me?”

“I don’t.”

Yingxing huffs and crosses his arms. “I’m sorry. I didn’t imagine the first time you met me would be me assaulting you. Why did you never tell me that you met me when you were younger?”

That would be a reasonable question to ask if Dan Heng were really from the past. He can’t blame Yingxing for jumping to that conclusion, nor does he want to correct him. “I’m sorry?”

“It’s not your fault. It’s Dan Feng’s fault, that jerk—I mean, your future self. He probably thinks it’s funny. You didn’t do anything wrong. Here.” And he offers Dan Heng a hand, pulling him up.

A voice calls into the alley. “Imbibitor Lunae!” A few Vidyadara soldiers huddle in the alley. “We’ve been looking for you all day. You’ve been summoned to Scalegorge Waterscape.”

Everyone looks at him. “I—what for?”

“We have an urgent council meeting to determine our safety protocols following the last attack. Your presence is requested.”

Yingxing presses a hand to his forehead and laughs. It sounds like Blade with the malice removed. “You fools. You don’t need Imbibitor Lunae at all. Stop bothering him with your imbecilic bureaucracy.”

“Imbititor Lunae can speak for himself—”

“Can you see that he’s too insulted by your constant summons to enlighten you with a response? Leave us alone.”

Dan Heng overhears them angling some choice language at the High Cloud Quintet as they leave. He looks up at Yingxing, feeling oddly grateful.

Yingxing turns to him with a serious face. “Fuck, what a mess. You got here at the worst time. Wait. Are you certain you time traveled? What if you have amnesia?”

“I don’t think—”

“Show me your arm.” He points, and Dan Heng rolls up his sleeve. Yingxing’s face falls. “Time travel, then.”

“What’s wrong with my arm?”

“Hmm?” Yingxing looks like he’s about to say something, then he shakes his head. “I probably shouldn’t tell you. I don’t understand time travel, but even I know it sounds dangerous to tell you too much about your own future.”

“Okay.” Dan Heng’s thoughts are spinning more than ever. “Why were those soldiers looking for me? What happened?”

Pain creases Yingxing’s face. “We fought a difficult battle. That’s why they wanted you. But I wasn’t lying when I said they don’t really need you—and it’s normal for you to blow them off. You’ve been avoiding them all week.”

Dan Heng wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

Yingxing says, “Sorry. He—future you, told me that he wanted to let off some steam, and I should meet him here for our usual thing.”

“Our usual thing?”

Yingxing raises an eyebrow. “Guess. But I won’t try anything again. I feel bad about that.”

That should quell Dan Heng’s nerves, but it doesn’t. Logically, he can accept that Dan Feng had an intimate relationship with Yingxing, even if it makes no sense. Yingxing is not Blade. Not yet. Just as Dan Heng is not Dan Feng. But his instincts are on high alert, primed by years of conditioning to expect violent behavior from someone who looks like Yingxing. Is this what Blade feels when he sees Dan Heng? The recognition along with the dissonance?

He should really get away from this man as soon as possible. “Thanks for your help. But I need to go.”

“Wait,” Yingxing says, reaching out towards him. But he doesn't touch Dan Heng, just leaves his hand outstretched. His uninjured, bare hand. “It’s not going to be safe for you. I know you best, and there’s no one better than me. Let me take you around.”

Dan Heng responds with a cold voice. “I’ll be fine on my own.”

Yingxing’s hand drops to his side. He laughs. “Dan Feng, you’ve always been like this, haven’t you?” Before Dan Heng can ascertain what he means, Yingxing flaps his arm to the side, already walking away first. “I live in Aurum Alley, across from the teahouse. Come find me when you give up.”

Chapter Text

There’s one thing Blade—no, Yingxing—said that Dan Heng can get behind. Which is that talking about the future is dangerous. The most dangerous part is that they’re not talking about the same time: Yingxing is thinking about Dan Feng’s past, while Dan Heng is thinking about his own future, as well as what he knows about Dan Feng and Yingxing’s fates. Not just them, but Jing Yuan and Jingliu, too. If Yingxing knew the future that awaited him at Dan Feng’s hands, would he be so kind? Or would he kill Dan Heng while he had the chance, just like Blade?

Dan Heng can't let that happen, even if he has to keep lying. Above all, his priority is safely returning to the Astral Express.

So Dan Heng goes to the Alchemy Commission. Even back in this age, they have countless research materials stored in their libraries and archives. It’s a long shot, but he has no information on how or why he arrived here. There lies the only hope for his predicament.

He meets resistance immediately, stopped at the front gate by the Cloud Knights. He attempts to argue his way in, but the guards here on the front line appear to be sticklers for the rules.

He lifts his head and uses a disdainful tone, imitating his imaginary version of Dan Feng. “Are you really questioning the authority and intentions of the High Elder of the Vidyadhara?”

“N-no, High Elder! It is just that we did not receive notification of your visit,” one of them says doubtfully.

“All guards have been instructed not to let anyone pass in the aftermath of the recent battle, unless proper clearance has been attained.” A more resolute guard says, frowning at him.

Dan Heng improvises. “I have a meeting with the Arbiter General about said battle.”

The guard frowns more deeply. “The Arbiter General is in a meeting, and he cannot be disturbed.”

“If you could simply pass a message to Jing Yuan, I am sure that he would welcome me in.”

The guards look at each other. “Jing Yuan? But he isn't here today.”

Dan Heng immediately realizes his mistake. He assumed that Jing Yuan took the position during the golden age of the High Cloud Quintet, but it appears that he has not yet ascended. He sighs and turns his back on the guards, scrambling for what approach to try next.

Just who should he see strolling up the steps but Yingxing, sporting a cocky grin. Dan Heng closes his eyes for a moment, trying to reconcile this image with that of Blade running at him with full speed, sword drawn.

“Afternoon. Is there a problem here?”

The guards bow, just like they did for Dan Heng. “Master Yingxing. Imbibitor Lunae wishes to enter the Alchemy Commission, but we have been instructed not to let anyone pass.”

Yingxing puts a hand on his hip. “Imbibitor Lunae just needs to access the library. That shouldn’t be a problem, should it?”

Dan Heng looks at him suspiciously. Yingxing doesn’t have the ability to read minds, does he?

The guards check with each other. “If it’s just the library…” says the less confident guard. “It won’t interfere with the meeting.”

The stern guard nods. “We’ll notify the Cloud Knights near the library pavilion to await your arrival.”

Yingxing gestures. “Dan Feng. Allow me to accompany you.” He gently steers Dan Heng away from the steps, taking him the long way around the building.

Once they’re alone, Dan Heng drops his professional facade. “I thought you would wait for me to find you in Aurum Alley.” Not that he was ever going to go there.

“And I thought you were less stubborn than this. Clearly you’ve mellowed with age.”

Dan Heng has heard over and over again that Dan Feng was incredibly proud. He doesn’t think of himself that way, so he doesn’t say anything.

Yingxing’s lips curve upwards, perhaps reminiscing. Yesterday, that mouth had touched Dan Heng’s. “What were you trying to do here?”

Dan Heng can’t come up with a plausible lie quickly enough, so he narrows his eyes and says, “I was trying to visit the library.”

Yingxing shoots him another cocky smile. “See? Some things never change. You still go there all the time. We have a side entrance now, so it doesn’t disturb the members of the Alchemy Commission who are working.”

This should probably sound impressive to him, so Dan Heng nods. But in his future, the library and archives are located in a large renovated basement of the Alchemy Commission, not the small side room that Yingxing leads him into after they pass the pavilion guards. In his time, appointments are needed with sufficient lead time, and all visitors must enter through the front door of the pavilion. He wonders when they relocated and why the policies changed.

More surprising still is learning that Dan Feng also visited regularly. It had already shocked him when he learned that Dan Feng had been a healer as well as a formidable warrior; now to learn that he was also a researcher, just like Dan Heng, makes him uneasy. He doesn’t want to have anything in common with Dan Feng. He does his best not to let anything show on his face.

Yingxing explains once they’re inside. “You know, it’s a funny coincidence. He told me that we needed to come here for the project that we’re working on. I wonder if you could find the information that he was looking for.”

Dan Heng barely hears him. He’s looking around the library, if it can be called that. It’s filled to the brim with books, papers, and miscellaneous objects. Not in a good way. Some stacks nearly reach the ceiling, held in place by neighboring stacks. Bundles of papers are stashed in baskets on the floor. At a quick glance, nothing is in any kind of discernable order, not even the books on the shelves.

“This place is a mess.”

Yingxing looks into the distance, his expression fond. “Not surprised you’d say that. You talk about organizing it a lot.”

“Why haven't I?” Dan Heng asks before he can stop himself.

“You don’t have time. Between High Elder matters, the Quintet, the Alliance…”

Until recently, Dan Heng had never felt anything but hatred for Dan Feng. Recent events on the Luofu had shifted him, made him curious. Hearing this, he feels an unwelcome sense of sympathy.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t tell you that.”

“No, it’s alright. I have a feeling that I will forget most of this. I’m not sure how I’m here in the first place.” It’s not exactly true; but it’s true enough that nothing that Yingxing says will affect Dan Feng’s life. It has all already happened.

“That would explain why you never mentioned this to me. And I swear, the first time I met you, I would’ve sworn you had never seen me before.” Yingxing’s lips press together. “I worry about creating a paradox. If I tell you too much, will you not become the person I know? Am I disintegrating this timeline by speaking with you? On the other hand, this has already happened, because I’ve already met you, and I continue to exist here. So perhaps what I say and do is inconsequential.”

Yingxing’s intelligent reasoning surprises and impresses Dan Heng. It shouldn’t; Blade is smart in the future, even if that keen insight is laser-focused on killing him. And the paradox he’s describing is exactly what Dan Heng is trying to avoid himself—destroying his own future by changing the past—so he stays silent.

“Or perhaps, since you have the gift of foresight, you could try to avert the most recent tragedy when you return to the past. We could try to change what happened, and purposefully unravel our time. Perhaps it would be worth it to lose what life I have and experience a different one. Would we be together in this future, though?” Yingxing looks troubled. “I wish I could talk to you.”

Dan Heng knows that he means Dan Feng. “What tragedy?”

Yingxing sighs. He sits on a sturdy pile of books, his face so desolate that Dan Heng doesn’t have the heart to reprimand him for damaging the materials. “We have been fighting Shuhu, an Emanator of the Abundance, for years. We finally defeated him, but one of our most beloved comrades sacrificed herself—your friend, and mine. She died. This was only a few days ago.”

A chill runs up Dan Heng’s spine. Fuck. He knows exactly what Yingxing is talking about.

“That’s why you wanted to come here. You said you heard of an idea that could save her, with my help, even if it was a long shot. I told you I make all my long shots.” Yingxing shoots him a grin, but Dan Heng can hear the underlying sorrow.

“I don’t know what that would be,” says Dan Heng, which is half true. He only knows the consequences of the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, not the details of what transpired during the act itself.

“You can figure it out. I believe in you.” Yingxing stands and paces to the opposite wall. All day, Dan Heng has noticed Yingxing carefully keeping his distance from him, as if to make up for yesterday’s mistake, yet the affection in his voice cannot be hidden. “Imagine someone dear to you, someone you owe your life to. Then imagine you’d do anything to bring that person back.”

Dan Heng finds himself thinking of the Astral Express again. If they died, would he go to such lengths to revive them? Breaking the fundamental laws of the Xianzhou?

Perhaps he would, if he weren’t aware of what the Sedition wrought.

And yet, turning toward a bookshelf so Yingxing cannot see his face, he swallows, realizing his predicament.

If he refuses to carry out the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae the same way it happened all these centuries ago, then his own life will not make sense. He was born out of the aftermath, so logically, his life would cease to exist. At the very least, he will find himself out of time and place.

But if he wants to return to the world he knows, then the past must remain unchanged. The Sedition will take place; Yingxing will suffer endlessly, becoming Blade; Jingliu’s mara will ensnare her. Not to mention the countless lives lost in the subsequent battle.

Dan Heng does not want to walk down either of those paths. He needs to return to the future as soon as possible.

“I will keep my eye out for anything useful,” Dan Heng says. “Just keep in mind that I am primarily looking for a method to return to my own time. That will be the quickest solution.” He doubts that he will find what Dan Feng was looking for.

“I’ll look too,” says Yingxing cheerfully.

Now that is not what Dan Heng wants. But, it’s because of Yingxing that he’s able to be here in the first place, so he begins silently searching the stacks.

The Alchemy Commission library closes in the early evening, much to Dan Heng’s dismay. Today was fruitless, not made any easier by the ancient search terminal or the fact that most of the items aren’t logged. He misses his modern data bank, his room, the neatly organized archives.

Yingxing suggests dinner, and Dan Heng decides to go along with him for now. He had thought that Yingxing would be a distracting nuisance in the library, but instead his presence faded into the background while Dan Heng concentrated on scouring the piles as efficiently as he could. It was eerie, in fact, the way that Yingxing knew exactly how Dan Heng wanted to be left to toil away quietly. He piped up only occasionally to share interesting or funny tidbits from scattered papers, always at a time when Dan Heng was in the process of switching piles. By the end, Dan Heng felt compelled to share a few inconsequential things he’d learned as well.

Yingxing leads him to a tiny restaurant, just six seats inside. It’s swelteringly hot and smells incredibly delicious.

The cashier barely looks up. “The usual?”

Yingxing looks at Dan Heng, who shrugs. There’s no menu, and he’s tired. Anything sounds good. Plus, he is not a picky eater.

Yingxing nods to the cashier and pays. “I assume you don’t have money on you,” he tells Dan Heng.

“What should I say, thanks? I assume you have a lot of credits at your disposal.”

Yingxing grins at him. “Not as many as you. Too bad you don’t know how to access them.”

Food is ready in five minutes flat, and Yingxing grabs the plates from the counter, motioning for Dan Heng to stay seated.

“This is good,” Dan Heng says after a few bites. Good is an understatement. It may be the best thing he’s eaten in months. The noodles are springy, the flavor is garlicky and sumptuous, and the meat inside is perfectly seasoned and spiced.

Yingxing speaks with his mouth full. His plate looks several times spicier than Dan Heng’s. “Glad you like it. It’s your future self’s favorite.” He has a silly smile on his face, like he’s getting pleasure from watching Dan Heng eat.

Feeling weird, Dan Heng stops chewing. “Am I truly this predictable?”

“No. I just know you.” Yingxing’s face shifts. “You don’t like hearing that. Do you dislike me that much? Is it because of the kiss?”

The kiss is the least of Dan Heng’s worries. While it wasn’t ideal, he doubts it will haunt him the way Blade stabbing him through the chest does. No, it’s the comparison to Dan Feng that bothers him, but he can’t exactly tell Yingxing that he’s spent a lifetime trying to disassociate himself from that man.

“That was a clear case of mistaken identity. I won’t hold a grudge over it. I just have a lot on my mind.”

Yingxing’s face softens. “You’ve had a lot of pressure on you from a young age,” he says. “You don’t talk about it often, but I’ve known you for decades. If you need to unload, feel free.”

Dan Heng pauses. This is a rare opportunity. But his main problem in the future is Blade—so how does he talk about that? “For years, I’ve felt like I’m being chased. I’m always running from people and things outside my control. Like there is a fate that is awaiting me that I can’t escape.”

Yingxing nods, setting down his chopsticks. “It’s not easy to be born into the role of the High Elder, knowing that you have centuries of difficult responsibilities ahead of you. I’m a short-life species—I don’t know if you could tell. I think it’s a blessing. My happiness may look fleeting to you, but it's all I know. And any suffering I undergo will be short in comparison, because I cannot become mara-struck.”

That makes Dan Heng feel even worse, knowing what is going to happen to him very soon. In fact, every time Yingxing says anything the slightest bit kind to him, his stomach drops. He didn’t know that Blade was like this in the past. He didn’t know that Yingxing treasured being a short-life species. He didn’t know that Dan Feng and Yingxing had this kind of relationship before they jointly destroyed it all. He looks at Yingxing’s face, which looks both older and younger than Blade’s.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m alone, and everything is awful.” Dan Heng takes a bite of this food. It’s so delicious, yet his current situation is so desolate that he almost wants to cry.

Yingxing lets out a deep breath through his nose. “Normally, I would hold you if you said something like that. Just know, I won’t let you be alone.”

Dan Heng looks at Yingxing’s chest and shoulders. They do look sturdy, but all he says is, “Thank you for taking me here.”

“We eat here all the time. See, the future isn’t so bad, is it? You have a lot to look forward to.”

He is wrong, but in the right way. “It’s not so bad,” he says, looking at Yingxing. He almost smiles, and he has a feeling that Yingxing can see it.

Chapter Text

As a simulated night falls on the Luofu, Dan Heng returns to Dan Feng’s home. Yingxing gave him ample directions, and Dan Heng finds it easily. Too easily. The same sense of disorientation, deja vu, whatever it is, it hits him as soon as he steps inside. The interior is clean and organized. The books on the shelves are ordered impeccably, and the decor is almost nonexistent. As he walks through the house, he realizes that it’s very similar to his own room on the Express, just much bigger.

There is one area that breaks the trend: the writing desk. Papers on the floor, ink dripping on the carpet. To Dan Heng, this is unthinkable. What could have happened here?

Perhaps to make progress in this world, Dan Heng needs to think as if he is Dan Feng. He tries to imagine why he would leave a place of contemplation in such disarray. After pondering, he comes to the conclusion that Dan Feng must have been distraught.

In his life, Dan Heng has not experienced the loss of someone he loves. He has feared it many times, even thought that it might happen imminently—for example, when he learned that Blade had descended on the Xianzhou just as the Astral Express did—but he has never had to mourn the death of a personal friend.

He has always firmly believed that he would not make the same choice that Dan Feng did, drawing a hard line between the two of them. But if he lost Welt? Or Himeko, or any of the others? He likes to think that he would cherish their memory and let them go. But faced with the mess in front of him, he realizes that he has no concrete evidence on his side. Although he has witnessed death, and although he has grieved, they were not his beloved friends.

Reading the hastily scribbled notes confirms his worst fears. Dan Feng was indeed planning to revive Baiheng, and his notes indicate… the Transmutatum Arcanum? But as Dan Heng pores over them, cleaning up the ink on the floor as he goes (without using cloudhymn magic--he learned his lesson after that one time on the Express), he is relieved to learn that Dan Feng was still in the early stages of planning. He had known his knowledge was insufficient, hence the planned trip to the archives.

His eyelids start to droop. It was morning when he arrived in the past, and he realizes that he is exhausted. He goes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth, noting the extra toothbrush and cup on the sink. Yingxing had offered for Dan Heng to stay at his place, but he hadn’t seemed surprised when Dan Heng politely declined.

“If you need me, put your hand on your bracer and I will come,” Yingxing had said.

Dan Heng remembers looking at his bracer with shock. Is this how Blade always manages to hunt him down?

Now, he carefully removes the bracer, then his clothes, gently setting them aside in favor of a sleeping robe he found in the closet. It feels nice against his skin, particularly in this part-dragon form. As he settles into bed, he hopes that he will wake up in the future.

He awakens gasping, but not in his own time. He faintly recalls a dream about someone with large, rough hands and kind eyes. He also has morning wood, which is common. But, he feels weird about jerking off in someone else’s bed, and he also needs to focus on his mission, so he slides off and uses the bathroom, getting ready for the day before making his way to the library.

Yingxing is waiting for him near the entrance.

“Stalking me?” Dan Heng’s eyes flick up his body before settling on his face.

Yingxing laughs, the sound resonating through his chest. “If you want to call it that. I told you, we were planning something together.”

Dan Heng ignores him, which only makes Yingxing grin wider, and follows him inside. Truth be told, he doesn’t mind Yingxing being here, as long as he stays quiet like yesterday. He positions himself amidst the piles and gets to work.

Minutes turn into hours, much like yesterday. Dan Heng learns a considerable amount about the social stratum of the Xianzhou, but makes no progress on returning to the future.

Dan Heng lets out a frustrated sigh. “There’s nothing. No research on the Xianzhou has officially addressed time travel. It’s too close to researching long-life itself, or the methods of prolonging life. The properties of time are too closely connected to the properties of life.”

“Perhaps research that addresses one will address the other, as well. Two birds with one stone.” But Yingxing looks troubled. “You had told me that we likely only had a week of time to revive our friend before she would be lost forever.”

“How many days has it been since she died?”

“Four.”

So he has three days to return to the future before everything is fucked. If they make no progress, the choice will be made for him; the future will change, because he can’t even perform the Sedition if he tried, not without this forbidden knowledge.

“The taboo existed back in your time, too, right?” Yingxing looks like he knows the answer.

Still, Dan Heng thinks out loud. “The taboo only came into existence when the Xianzhou natives became a long-life species. Before then, immortality was not forbidden to research, even encouraged, because that was the goal they were pursuing. After the Abundance interfered, all records pertaining to such topics were destroyed. But I cannot help but think that some may have escaped. They must be here somewhere.” Yet even as he speaks, he doubts himself. The Xianzhou Alliance follows Lan the Hunt, and the Hunt is ruthless and all-encompassing, destroying entire species if it must. In comparison, how hard would it be to destroy their own records?

Yingxing stands upright. “We are searching in the wrong place.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are not a Xianzhou native. We must access the Vidyadhara records. It’s possible that you remembered something you came across long ago.”

Dan Heng realizes his mistake. The Vidyadhara only adopted the same restrictions on research once they joined the Alliance. But the records of the Vidyadhara have not yet been collated with the records of the Xianzhou the way they have in Dan Heng’s time. “Let’s go.”

“That’s the spirit. Just so you know, the Vidyadhara have been going through significant upheaval. Make sure you carry that weapon I made you. You should still have it.”

Dan Heng hefts Cloudpiercer. “Are you talking about this? You made this?”

Yingxing puffs his chest out. “Who else could craft such a masterpiece? I told you, I’m the best craftsman alive.” His confidence would seem misplaced, but Dan Heng can believe it. He has never known life without Cloudpiercer, his trusty sidekick. His spear is renowned in several worlds the Express has traveled to.

And I’ve killed you with this weapon many times. First the bracer, now his beloved weapon—how many connections to Yingxing has he carried into the future without realizing it?

“Thank you,” says Dan Heng. “I will cherish it.”

Yingxing grins. He pushes his silver hair over one shoulder, still looking at Dan Heng like he knows him. No—Jing Yuan always looks at Dan Heng like he knows him, tinged with fondness and sadness. Yingxing looks at him like he loves him.

Which will make leaving all the more difficult.

“Imbibitor Lunae.”

“Imbibitor Lunae!”

“Imbibitor—”

In Scalegorge Waterscape, Dan Heng finds himself continually fending off attempts for his time and attention. He straightens his posture, adopts a disinterested look, and flaps his sleeves at those who approach him. Yingxing chooses not to step in, which is probably wise; with the Vidyadhara, Imbibitor Lunae’s word is absolute, and Dan Heng is absolutely going to abuse that power if it suits him. Yingxing being at Dan Heng’s side also gives him confidence. Although Yingxing also keeps looking at him, shooting him these subtle glances, his eyes narrowing a bit when Dan Heng issues commands. Eventually, they reach the Grand Hall, which carries the requisite records they want.

Several staff approach timidly. “Please allow us to serve Imbibitor Lunae tea before you enter.”

Whether worn down by the constant requests or actually thirsty, Dan Heng finds himself agreeing. “That sounds amenable, but please be quick about it.” They lead the two of them to an ornate private room, and once they are alone he asks Yingxing, “What is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve been looking at me weird.”

“It’s nothing.”

Dan Heng frowns. “Tell me.” That earns him another one of those sideways looks.

“Fine. It just gets me going,” Yingxing says, “When you act all authoritative like that.” He shifts in his seat.

“Oh.” This was not what Dan Heng expected. He would have thought it more likely that Yingxing was secretly planning to kill him. “Even though I’m not the man you know?”

“You’re still you,” Yingxing says. “You look and act a little differently, but I’m still attracted to you. Evidently, you’ve always been confident, and I like that about you.”

Dan Heng does not disagree. He hasn’t been attracted to many individuals, but he finds himself drawn to those who are confident—sometimes even cocky. As long as they can back up their bravado with real accomplishments. He supposes that a member of short-life species achieving the title of Furnace Master certainly qualifies.

“Let’s talk about something else if it makes you uncomfortable,” says Yingxing.

“It doesn’t. In fact, I’m curious. I want to know what our relationship is like.”

“Well.” Yingxing runs a hand through his silver hair. “We decided that nothing I say influences the past, right? You’re my partner. I think you’re insanely smart, hot, powerful, and kind. We see each other every day. We stay at each other’s houses a lot. And we see our friends a lot, Jing Yuan, Jingliu, and Baiheng.”

Dan Heng tries to remember that he’s talking about Dan Feng, not him, but it’s hard with the way Yingxing is looking at him. “How do you think I would describe you?”

“I’ll go with absolutely perfect, devilishly attractive, and annoying. And cocky—in more ways than one, if you know that I mean.”

Dan Heng feels his cheeks warm. “So our sex life is?”

Yingxing appraises him. “Let’s leave that a mystery for now. I’ll just say I should have added one more word to describe you, and that’s ravenous.”

Dan Heng should have jerked off in the morning when he had the chance. He deeply regrets that decision.

Luckily, tea arrives, along with some traditional Vidyadharan snacks. Because Dan Heng grew up in the Shackling Prison, not here, most of them are new to him. He samples them all silently, finding them fine. He has no feelings toward them. But it’s enough to distract him from thinking about having sex with Yingxing. He must be out of his mind to have considered that at all.

Although if he is not Dan Feng, then Yingxing is not Blade. Dan Heng wrestles with that thought for a while, sipping the hot tea as it cools.

Yingxing drinks his tea quickly, but in the absence of conversation, Dan Heng thinks he detects weariness.

“You do not need to stay,” Dan Heng says. In fact, he’s feeling more and more guilty the longer he pretends to be someone else when he’s around Yingxing.

“Perceptive,” says Yingxing. “But wrong. I was just remembering her, and the last battle. But soon we will fix that when we bring her back. We ought to get to work.”

Dan Heng nods, and they head into the Grand Hall’s records room.

Dan Heng has to send all the attendants away three times before they get the message. They offered to find documents for him, but he doesn’t want them to know what he’s looking for and he doubts they would know where to find them. This room is marginally better organized than the Luofu’s main library, but not by much. The waterproof equipment is in better condition, but anything else has a fair chance of being severely water-damaged.

It’s a few hours in, with Dan Heng’s hopes dropping after each successive hour, when Yingxing lets out an astonished noise. He thrusts a mottled, warped sheet of paper at Dan Heng.

Dan Heng’s excitement turns to dread. His blood runs cold. How in the world has Yingxing found this? It must have been like finding a needle in a haystack. And rather than finding the solution to the time travel issue, he’s discovered something much worse: The thing that Dan Feng was looking for. Dan Heng tries to hide his reaction as he reads, a growing pit of horror in his stomach. Was this the method that Dan Feng—and Yingxing—used? It is truly heinous. He did not know such a thing was possible.

“This method is not going to work,” says Dan Heng.

Yingxing’s eyes flash. “You’re lying.”

Dan Heng has no response, because he has the curse of hindsight. Something will happen, but not the way Dan Feng and Yingxing want it to. And the consequences will be horrific.

“I know you don’t know her, but this is your dear friend. If you don’t believe me, we can meet with Jingliu and Jing Yuan, our other friends. Believe me,” Yingxing says, sounding desperate. “There is nothing that you wouldn’t do. You told me this. And I feel the same way.”

“I believe you,” Dan Heng says. “Really. There’s no need to meet with them.” He’s not sure he’d be able to fool Jingliu and Jing Yuan. Especially Jing Yuan, who he suspects might correctly identify him as not Dan Feng at all.

Yingxing snatches the paper back, his long fingers carefully tracing the messy handwriting. “Could one person do this by themselves?”

“Not if that one person is you.” The procedure calls for two people, ideally. One should be a Vidyadhara, and the second person would act as a stabilizer. Once all the elements are in place, maybe if Dan Heng tries the ritual by himself, there’s a chance at re-enacting the same doomed scenario without anyone else there, though at significant risk to himself. But he has no intention of participating at all.

Yingxing glares at him.

“Please, let’s keep searching,” Dan Heng says. “We found that. Now if we can determine how to send me back to the right time, then you can have your Dan Feng back and he will assist.”

“We’re running out of time. This paper details significant preparation in terms of craftsmanship. I will need to construct proper vessels.”

“How long can that possibly take? Are you the Furnace Master or not?”

Yingxing’s eyes flash. Yes, he seems to like it when Dan Heng challenges him. “Fine. But today is our last day here.”

Dan Heng thinks he can return on his own, so he agrees for now. The hours pass quickly. There is nothing ultra promising, but Dan Heng stashes a few pieces of paper in his sleeves for further research at home, since he wants to make the most of his day here. He feels zero guilt about stealing; any speculation on the nature of immortality will eventually be destroyed, anyway. Plus, Imbibitor Lunae rules this domain. It all belongs to him.

Eventually, Dan Heng reaches mental exhaustion; he knows that Yingxing hit that point an hour ago but has been staying to keep him company. They exit the records room, narrowly avoiding another tea. At the edge of Scalegorge Waterscape, Dan Heng is about to suggest that they return to the same restaurant as yesterday when Yingxing suddenly tenses.

“Draw your spear,” Yingxing says brusquely, knocking him to the side and slashing the air with a sword that Dan Heng does not recognize. Something invisible and heavy hits the ground.

Cloudpiercer sings. Dan Heng moves on instinct, trusting Yingxing, a man that he will kill many times in the future, to protect him. He listens carefully and stabs the air. Bodies perish as they materialize, many of them Vidyadhara.

Yingxing’s swordwork, while formidable, is not as good as Blade’s. So Dan Heng tries to keep Yingxing behind him, away from the direction most of the invisible warriors seem to be coming from, but a few of them escape him and run past. Dan Heng swerves and stabs forward, kicking one leg out to stop another’s attack. Then all of a sudden Yingxing lets out a low groan, and when Dan Heng looks at him, a line of red spreads across his cheek. Then it drips.

Dan Heng’s stomach churns with annihilating rage. He barely remembers what happens next, summoning his dragon. He tells it to flood the entire area, while he takes Yingxing’s hand to keep him safe amid the cleansing waters. Then he pinpoints the last attackers’ locations and skewers them without mercy, using the cherished weapon that Yingxing made for him.

When it’s all done, he carefully cleans the blood from Yingxing’s face.

“I shouldn’t be so happy,” says Yingxing, grinning. “That you’re touching me.”

“Does it hurt?” Dan Heng is surprised by his own racing heartbeat.

“No. Not for long.” Yingxing glances at him expectantly.

Dan Heng just looks at him, searching his face.

“You can kiss me. If you want to.”

“I want to,” Dan Heng says honestly. “But…”

In the distance, he can see at least twenty Vidyadhara officials racing towards them.

“This time you’d better go with them,” Yingxing murmurs. He steps back and picks up his sword, leaving Scalegorge Waterscape just as the officials reach them, leaving Dan Heng wanting.

Dan Heng finds himself back in the Grand Hall. It is made clear from the questions that are asked of him that assassination attempts on Imbibitor Lunae’s life are common, something that he had not known. There is no satisfactory conclusion, and there likely won’t be; there are various factions that want him dead or alive. The trace of sympathy he had for Dan Feng continues to grow, but he wonders…

Can his life really have been so awful with someone like Yingxing in it?

Chapter Text

Dan Heng’s footsteps feel heavy after the questioning ends, and they lead him not home, but to Aurum Alley. It’s bustling to a level that Dan Heng has never seen, even after the recent revival in his own time. Yingxing’s house is easy to locate. A pot of red spider lilies reminds him of the design on Yingxing’s and Blade’s clothes. On the Xianzhou, these lilies are placed everywhere during funerals, so they are associated with death; and yet, for those who have seen their loved ones become mara-struck, funerals can be joyous occasions.

He knocks on the door, and Yingxing opens it right away.

“Come in,” he says. “Come eat.”

On a small table is a bowl of the same food as yesterday. It’s sitting atop a polished, pearlescent stone that gleams in the low light of the lamps.

“I made that,” says Yingxing proudly, pointing. “Nice bit of engineering. It can keep food hot and tasty for hours.”

Dan Heng smiles at him and takes a bite. The food tastes just as good as it did in the restaurant. “You were hurt because of me.”

“I should be grateful. You can’t resist me when I’m injured,” says Yingxing. “Plus I know you’ll always heal me.” He motions to the cut on his cheek.

Images of Blade with Cloudpiercer stabbed through his chest swim through Dan Heng’s mind. “Oh,” Dan Heng says. “About that.” It’s helpful that he recently learned that Dan Feng had healing powers—but he didn’t inherit them.

Yingxing’s expression changes. “I thought you gained that power when you were younger than you are now.”

Dan Heng lies, “Not yet.” In fact, Dan Feng probably possessed that ability at birth.

“Then don’t worry about it. This is really nothing.” Yingxing smirks from his chair. “The only medicine I need is you.”

Dan Heng feels a slow simmer of desire returning. He finishes eating, drinks a glass of water, then walks over to Yingxing. Feeling a perverse, unusual excitement, he cups Yingxing’s face, tilting his head up, leaning down to kiss him.

His desire quickly ramps up. Yingxing’s mouth is hot and wet, openly eagerly to his tongue. The way he follows Dan Heng’s every signal is intoxicating. They stumble to the bed, Dan Heng pushing Yingxing back so his head hits the pillows, before he climbs on top, straddling him. He can feel Yingxing’s arousal growing beneath him, and he presses his own hardness onto Yingxing’s stomach, teasing him. Yingxing surges up, licking his ear, seemingly searching for Dan Heng’s most sensitive points, making him moan. He kisses Dan Heng’s neck, making him breathless.

Dan Heng turns his head for easier access, and that’s when he sees the framed picture on the nightstand. It depicts Dan Feng and Yingxing. He freezes, and Yingxing stops moving, following his gaze.

“Shit. I should have hidden that. Thought those guys would hold you up longer.”

Dan Heng closes his eyes. “You didn’t mention we were married.”

Yingxing pulls back, so he’s holding only his hands. “I wanted everything to be your choice. I didn’t want you to feel like you have to be with me because you think our relationship is inevitable. Nothing is inevitable,” he says firmly. “You don’t have to be with me, now or later. I only want you if you’re willing, right now.”

“I do want you,” Dan Heng says, relaxing and putting his hands around Yingxing’s waist. Yingxing goes back to kissing his neck, electrifying him. But something pulls at his mind.

My choice.

Dan Heng has been running his whole life, and it’s all because of other people’s choices. But Yingxing is right. Here and now, it’s all up to him. With Yingxing being so careful with him, he must do the same.

“I have to tell you something.”

“Mmm. Can it wait?”

“I don’t think it can,” Dan Heng says, his head buzzing with anticipation. “I am not from the past. I’m from the future.”

Yingxing blinks at him. “But you don’t know me.”

Dan Heng nods.

“Did you forget when you were reborn?”

“Something like that.”

Yingxing just holds him, his grip tensing on Dan Heng’s back. He buries his face in Dan Heng’s neck. He seems to be smelling him, but his words come quickly. “This is why being a long-life species sucks. As a short-life species, I’ll always remember you.”

“I thought you would be more surprised.”

“I’ve lived on the Xianzhou most of my life. I’ve heard weirder stories.” Yingxing makes eye contact with him. “What pisses me off is that you still have the form of Imbibitor Lunae. Minus the healing powers, I assume. But you couldn’t escape, not even in your next life.”

Dan Heng closes his eyes. “This is what I usually look like.” And he transforms out of his Imbibitor Lunae form into his human countenance, swallowing his nervousness over whether Yingxing will still be attracted to him.

Yingxing looks at his slightly shorter stature, his close-cut hair. “Do you have a different name?”

“Yes. I am not Dan Feng. I am Dan Heng.”

“Dan Heng,” Yingxing says slowly. “I still want you, no matter your form. Is that wrong?”

Dan Heng’s arousal, which had dampened, starts to return. It feels gratifying to hear Yingxing speak his true name. “No. But I do not think you would, if you knew about the future. Which is dangerous, like you said.”

Yingxing agrees. “I shouldn’t know about the future.” His hands stroke Dan Heng’s sides, sending pleasant shivers through his body.

“Something bad happens,” Dan Heng says, trying to resist what his body wants. “If you knew what I knew…”

Yingxing doesn’t seem to understand. “Then I want you now, while I can.”

“I think you will regret it.”

“I don’t live my life with regret.” Yingxing’s index finger traces Dan Heng’s bracer. “When I first encountered you a few days ago, it seemed like you knew me. Just for a second. How is that?”

Dan Heng thinks about this, which is difficult with Yingxing touching him like this.

In the future, Yingxing is no more. There is only Blade. A strong longing fills him—the fleeting opportunity to know Yingxing. If Dan Feng will soon return, then Dan Heng is the one who will regret not showing Yingxing how he feels while he has the chance.

“In my time, I don’t know you anymore.”

Rather than looking sad, Yingxing’s expression turns sly. “So be it. I’ll just have to fuck you so good you remember me.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works,” Dan Heng says, but Yingxing swallows the end of his sentence, kissing him with a new fervor, all reservations forgotten despite Dan Heng’s revelation.

He feels like he is floating, the only thing keeping him tethered to earth being the insistent movement of his hips. He can’t stop himself from grinding filthily on Yingxing’s lap, feeling his bulge grow beneath him. Eagerly, he unlaces Yingxing’s jacket, wanting to be closer to him as soon as possible. Yingxing starts unbuckling Dan Heng’s belt, then loosens the strap on his leg, until eventually Dan Heng hurriedly rolls to the side and shucks most of his tight clothing onto the floor, Yingxing following suit.

He removes his gear as well, but when he gets to his bracer, Yingxing stops him.

“Leave that on,” says Yingxing greedily. “It’s another thing I made for you.” He carefully strips as well, leaving only his own bracer tied to his body. It should be illegal how hot Dan Heng finds this—each of them wearing nothing but a matching small wrist covering. He climbs back on top of him, reveling in the feeling of hot skin against skin. His cock drips.

He could kiss Yingxing forever, but his body has other needs. He feels urgency. Perhaps that’s because he knows they’re literally running out of time. “Do you have lube?”

Yingxing smirks at him. “You haven’t learned how to use cloud-hymn magic for that yet?”

“It hadn’t occurred to me, no.”

“Try it.”

Dan Heng concentrates. Nothing happens, so he pushes harder, and his cupped palms overflow with slippery liquid, some of it spilling on the bed. “Fuck. Too much.”

“It’s not too much. I’ll ensure all of this goes inside you,” says Yingxing, already drawing his long fingers through the liquid. “I’ll get you dripping. Make you wet and ready for me.”

Dan Heng has never been more turned on in his life. He just nods, his legs spread as Yingxing spreads lube on Dan Heng’s sensitive hole, circling it with the tip of a finger, teasing him before pressing inside. It makes Dan Heng feel so connected to him, his nerves alight, his cock throbbing. Yingxing gathers more lube, then pushes his fingers inside further, repeating this again and again, making good on his promise to fill him with the lube until it’s leaking out his hole. He strokes Dan Heng’s cock with one hand and fucks him on his fingers with the other until Dan Heng’s back is arching off the bed, the twin pleasures overwhelming him.

“Fuck me,” Dan Heng says. “Now.”

Yingxing’s eyes flash the way they always do when Dan Heng commands him. His cock has stayed hard the entire time, larger than average and nicely veined. Dan Heng needs it inside him, and as he’s speared on the tip he thrusts his hips down to match.

Now Yingxing groans, wiping his wet hands on the bed before gripping Dan Heng’s hips, which insistently are pushing down on his cock.

“This is what you want, Dan Heng?”

Dan Heng shivers. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll give it to you.”

The pace Yingxing sets is fast, demanding. Dan Heng almost comes right away, has to stop touching his cock so he can hold out longer. Yingxing’s silver hair is undone, falling around his shoulders and tickling his neck, and Dan Heng grips it in his hands, pulling him down to kiss him.

“Please.”

“You really still have this, in your time?” Yingxing says, placing his hand on Dan Heng’s bracer.

“I do,” says Dan Heng, squeezing his legs around Yingxing tighter, willing him deeper. He feels so wet and open. “I do.”

“Then a piece of me will follow you wherever you go,” says Yingxing, thrusting so deep inside it feels like his cock is carving a place for itself inside his body. Dan Heng moans, on the edge of coming, and Yingxing grabs Dan Heng’s hand and pushes his palm directly onto the bracer, the one that Dan Heng has carried his whole life. Its grooves perfectly fit his hand. Yingxing then touches his own matching bracer, and Dan Heng almost screams with pleasure.

Yingxing’s feelings flood him, streaming alongside his own. Arousal, longing, love, happiness, commitment, pride, pleasure—Nothing has felt like this before. Have their bracers always had this connection? Does Blade know? Dan Heng’s eyes shoot open, and he sees nothing but Yingxing’s face as he starts uncontrollably coming between their bodies, painting the two of them in matching white.

Yingxing thrusts only a few more times before a blissful expression spreads over his handsome features. He kisses Dan Heng as his cock pumps him full of come. They lie there for a while basking in the afterglow. Dan Heng feels Yingxing’s cock slipping out of his body, but he still feels stretched and full, lying there without the drive to clean up. Yingxing seems to feel similarly, hugging him closer, his hair falling across Dan Heng’s chest.

Dan Heng takes a deep breath. As tired as he is, his mind clears.

He is still here.

Which means that sleeping with Yingxing has not changed the future.

And as much as he is falling for Yingxing, he thinks again about the Astral Express. He misses them. He needs to make it back to them. When he thinks about all of them—Pom-Pom, Himeko, everyone—and their love for him, he knows they would want him to do whatever it takes to return to them. They would be glad for him to return, no matter the lengths he has to go to.

Even if it means adhering to the original timeline and fulfilling the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae.

Even if this is why Blade hates him so much.

Chapter Text

The next morning, they go their separate ways, agreeing to reconnect at dinner. Yingxing needs time to work on the designs he found, and Dan Heng wants to return to the Vidyadhara library. His role in this resurrection won’t begin until the day after tomorrow, and he still hopes to return to his own time before then.

Once again, he spends the day poring over waterlogged documents. Leaving the Vidhadyara area frustrated, he thinks again about the Astral Express. What are they doing? Has he disappeared for the same amount of time there as here? When he returns, will it be like he never left?

He doesn’t consider the possibility that he will live out the rest of his life here. No matter how compatible he is with Yingxing, getting stuck here is unimaginable.

“Dan Feng!”

Oh no. Dan Heng recognizes that voice. He should not have walked so close to the Alchemy Commission, but he meandered this way on instinct, as it’s the area he’s the most familiar with on the Luofu. Besides the Shackling Prison.

Jing Yuan marches forwards, an easy grin on his face despite the dark bags under his eyes. Unlike Yingxing, Jing Yuan looks almost exactly the same as the person Dan Heng knows in the future. “How are you holding up?”

Right. They have just lost Baiheng, and future battles are already encroaching on them, with Jing Yuan playing a major role as a strategist. “As well as possible,” he says noncommittally. “How are you?”

“Not well,” Jing Yuan admits. “It is our duty to continue to fight, but I can’t help but feel as though we’ve lost our heart.”

Dan Heng nods.

“I know better than to tell you to rest,” says Jing Yuan. “Join me for tea, then.”

“I believe there is business I must attend to.”

“Shirk your responsibilities with me,” says Jing Yuan, unfazed. “I insist.”

Dan Heng realizes that he must go along with him to keep up his appearance as Dan Feng. Trying not to give away the fact that he has no idea where they are going, he walks in step with Jing Yuan until they reach a teahouse. Upon seeing them, the owner immediately rushes to ready a private room.

Dan Heng and Jing Yuan settle themselves inside, and the owner puts out tea and several cups. The door slides open with a sudden screech. Dan Heng’s heart stops. In the doorway is another ghost.

Jingliu enters, saying crossly, “Where is Yingxing?” and looking at Dan Heng.

“He’s busy,” says Dan Heng.

Jingliu sits stiffly. Jing Yuan pours tea for her, which she gulps down despite its burning temperature.

“Jingliu,” says Jing Yuan softly. “Have you slept?”

She looks away. “I can’t.” Her hair is untidy, and her posture sags.

The Jingliu that Dan Heng knows is perfectly cold and ruthless. She cares only about destruction, but her vengeance is an emotionless, mechanical act after centuries of madness. This person in front of him is obviously suffering just as much as Jing Yuan and Yingxing are, and Dan Heng’s heart aches.

Jing Yuan starts to pour her another cup, but Jingliu stands, eyes shining, her body stiff as a board. “I’m sorry, I can’t be here right now.” She runs out, leaving the door open.

Jing Yuan goes on pouring tea like nothing has happened. “You seem different,” he says.

“What are your thoughts on time travel?” Dan Heng blurts. He’s trying to think of a way to spin this. Luckily, Jing Yuan’s keen mind makes a quick connection, interpreting something that Dan Heng hadn’t intended.

Jing Yuan sets down the cup. “Time travel would not save Baiheng,” he says evenly. “What is past is past.”

“What if it weren’t? What if it were possible—What responsibility would we bear?”

“I’m not fond of theorizing about additional burdens, particularly when it comes to you,” says Jing Yuan, holding a cup of tea to his mouth. “But if we must. Then I believe the most important time is our time, and our time is the present. Though what is the present, but the immediate past or future? Each moment blends into the next, swirling in the miasma of time. The present takes precedence.”

This is definitely the Jing Yuan that Dan Heng knows. Even when he answers a question, he doesn’t answer it. It partially affirms Dan Heng’s line of thought, though; Dan Heng’s “present” is the future he knows; he should prioritize that, no matter how terrible it feels now. But something about what Jing Yuan said also shakes his confidence, though he doesn’t know why.

“Spoken like a true long-life species,” says Yingxing. He comes in and sits next to Dan Heng, kissing him on the cheek. Dan Heng looks at him affectionately, though he feels a twinge of guilt stinging in his heart.

“I only have a moment,” says Jing Yuan, his gaze softening. “Shall we drink to the departed?” He calls the attendant, asking for a small pot of alcohol.

They raise their glasses.

“For Baiheng. For all that we have lost and all that remains,” says Jing Yuan.

Dan Heng toasts to Baiheng, but when he drinks, it’s for Jing Yuan, and for Jingliu, and for Yingxing and Blade. Even Dan Feng, as well. He feels a sadness creep over him, knowing what is to come, and how this unhappy quartet’s troubles are just beginning. These people… their connection, their friendship—it reminds him of his family on the Express.

A silence settles around them. Jing Yuan leaves first, but Yingxing and Dan Heng soon follow. As they make their way to Aurum Alley, Yingxing speaks.

“I’ve readied all the preparations we’ll need,” he says. “In record time, if I say so myself.”

Whether it was what Jing Yuan said, or the guilt he’s been carrying ever since he arrived, Dan Heng can’t do this anymore. He cannot live with a clear conscience without trying, at least, to change Yingxing’s mind. Perhaps he can put off the decision just long enough that the time period expires.

“Look, something bad is going to happen to you if we do this,” says Dan Heng. “You, and Dan Feng, and many others.”

“Something bad is going to happen to me,” repeats Yingxing. “So what?”

“It’s not just something bad. You will lose absolutely everything.”

“I’ll decide what to do with my life, like I always have.”

“The thing that you fear most, it will happen. And Jingliu will be affected, and people will die, and I just can’t bear to see this happen.”

“I would move heaven and earth for her,” Yingxing says. “And so would Dan Feng.”

“It isn’t worth the consequences.”

“Your past self disagrees.”

“Thats because he doesn’t know what I know!”

“But you don’t know what he knows! Let me ask, do you have someone you love in the future?”

Dan Heng considers. “Not like you,” he says. “But like Jing Yuan and Jingliu and Baiheng, yes.”

“So we do this thing, and you’re telling me that it devastates our lives. But does Baiheng survive? Even a little?”

Dan Heng hesitates, thinking of Bailu. “No.”

But that slight hesitation is what dooms him.

“So she does,” says Yingxing, his eyes on fire.

“No! No, it’s not like that—”

“I told you, I can tell when you are lying—”

“It really isn’t what you think,” Dan Heng says with urgency. “The dead cannot be brought back—”

“Not to mention. You shouldn’t talk about trying to change the past,” says Yingxing. “You're talking about creating a timeline where you might not exist. There is no need to make a sacrifice beyond the resurrection; let me and Dan Feng take on the responsibility and the consequences. She was our friend. You will return to your time. Eventually.”

Dan Heng presses his lips together and looks at his feet.

“I’ll take my chances,” Yingxing says, completely calm. “Whether or not you come with me.”

Dan Heng’s heart sinks. Even when he tries to deviate from the past that he knows, his attempts are being rejected. Does this really leave him with no choice? Is the future really so fixed in place? Of course he won’t let Yingxing be alone in the act, but what is he supposed to do now?

And a small voice in the back of his head expresses a sense of relief. If this is the path he must follow, then perhaps he may do so with a clear conscience.

They’re at Yingxing’s door now. He opens the door, tilting his head. “If you still want to come in,” Yingxing says in a soft voice.

“Of course I do,” Dan Heng says angrily, marching over the threshold and transforming out of his Imbibitor Lunae form.

While eating dinner, Dan Heng pushes his food around. “What were you looking for on my arm when we met?”

“Guess it doesn’t matter if I tell you now. You must’ve been really distracted last night.” Yingxing flashes a grin. At least he’s in high spirits again. He rolls up his sleeve, straightening his arm and presenting it to Dan Heng. In the nook of his elbow, there is a red-inked lotus. It’s simple and elegant. It complements his impressive muscles, created by profession rather than vanity.

“It’s beautiful.”

“You have a matching one. But unlike mine, yours keeps healing over. Another downside of being a long-life species, plus your strong healing powers. So you religiously re-tattoo it every month. You never forget.”

Dan Heng’s chest aches.

“Sorry. Should I say ‘Dan Feng’ does that? Not ‘you’?”

Dan Heng shakes his head. “It’s fine.” Feeling envy toward Dan Feng sets him off balance again.

Yingxing comes over to hug him sideways. “You’re worried. Would you let me relax you?”

Leaning into him, Dan Heng nods, feeling guilty about how desperately he wants comfort despite what he must do, and they make their way to their bed.

Yingxing has him on the precipice of coming in minutes. It is a miracle how easily Yingxing deepthroats him, his mouth sealing over Dan Heng’s cock, stroking his shaft with his hands, lightly touching his balls. Dan Heng thrusts into his mouth, which Yingxing seems to like, groaning, and Dan Heng feels every vibration. He pushes deeper, Yingxing rubbing his thumbs over his hips in encouragement, and comes down his throat, thighs tensing, head thrown back.

If this is the last time he has to be with Yingxing like this, then he will cherish it. Yingxing has left a wet spot on the bed from grinding his hard cock on the sheets, and Dan Heng throws him back against the headboard, causing him to make a noise of excitement. Dan Heng strokes him quickly, putting his mouth around the head, and soon Yingxing is coming in his mouth as well.

Afterwards, they have hot tea together in bed, basking in each other’s warmth. Dan Heng sips his cup carefully so he doesn’t spill.

Yawning, Yingxing tells him, “Dan Feng doesn’t talk in his sleep, but you do.”

“What did I say?”

“‘Blade,’ a few times.”

Dan Heng can’t think of a way to explain that. And perhaps if he doesn’t speak, that future won’t come true. Yingxing smiles like he understands, and kisses the top of his head.

“Then tell me something else about your life,” says Yingxing. “I swear, I won’t tell Dan Feng and mess anything up. I just want to know you better. Those people that you love, who are they?”

Dan Heng takes a deep breath. He feels like he’s fucked everything up already, so at least he can grant Yingxing this request. “I am a Nameless of the Astral Express, following the Path of Trailblaze…”

Yingxing closes his eyes and listens as Dan Heng speaks. He omits any mentions of Blade or the Xianzhou, instead choosing to focus on some of their recent escapades on Belobog. He tells him about March, Welt, Himeko, Pom-Pom, and Caelus, their newest addition. He takes him through another world or two, describing heroic deeds, heartwarming moments, and silly capers, until eventually he realizes that Yingxing is asleep.

With his brow relaxed and his hands at his sides, he looks so peaceful. Dan Heng takes both their cups and places them on the nightstand. He doesn’t know how he can go forward with the resurrection in two days, questioning himself again for the thousandth time.

Perhaps he had it all wrong when he surrendered to the vision of the past that he knows.

Speaking of the Astral Express so candidly has roused his memories. There is yet another clear difference between him and Dan Feng: Dan Feng was never a member of the Astral Express.

Rather than missing his friends like he has been all week, he’s considering what it means to be a Nameless. Yes, his friends care about him, and he knows they would want him back. They would understand if he chose to follow the timeline he knows and carry out the Sedition. They would still welcome him home.

But Dan Heng is not a Stellaron Hunter like Blade or Kafka. He does not believe in Elio’s fate. He is a Nameless, and he believes the future is unfixed. As the Astral Express, as Trailblazers, they break the fate in front of them over and over again. Challenging the cosmos, upending the status quo, and doing it all to save one planet, or one person—whether friend, lover, or stranger.

He will change the future, for Dan Feng’s sake and for Blade. For Yingxing, so he never has to become Blade. He sees everything clearly now.

The Astral Express will understand his decision. They never leave anyone behind.

Suddenly wide awake, Dan Heng gets out of bed, sits at Yingxing’s desk, and begins to read.

It takes a full night of planning, but he ends up exactly where he wants to be.

In the morning, he convinces Yingxing that he needs one more day of solo research in the library and then they can do the ritual tomorrow, the last possible day. Then he secretly follows Yingxing to his workshop, where he is relieved to overhear that a customer has placed an order that will have Yingxing occupied until nightfall.

In the afternoon, he gathers all the supplies he needs.

And here he is in the early evening, standing in an abandoned forest clearing in Scalegorge Waterscape with all components gathered: the Transmutatum Arcanum, a tuft of Baiheng’s fur, and a cauldron with Shuhu’s remains. The work on the cauldron is truly excellent: only Yingxing could have crafted such an impeccably strong device to withstand the volatile substance of an Emanator. And of course, he has all of the other tools he needs, as well as the notes that he made last night, and the crumpled paper that Yingxing found.

By doing this alone, without Yingxing, he will likely never meet the Astral Express. Perhaps he won’t save them on the Luofu. But perhaps the Stellaron Hunters will never call the Astral Express to the Luofu in the first place. Who can know the future?

Dan Heng shakes his head, pushing past his unruly thoughts. What awaits him may be Blade’s fate or worse, but he fully accepts that. He leans over the cauldron and carefully places Baiheng’s fur. He hears a rustling in the trees nearby and looks over his shoulder, but seeing nothing, he continues.

He goes through the motions with the Transmutation Arcanum, chanting the incantations specified on the paper they found. Shuhu’s remains begin churning on their own, swallowing the fur.

There are only two more steps.

He takes a deep breath. Hopefully, there is a good healer in the Vidyadhara right now—that is, if he survives this. He picks up one of the new tools that Blade made, holding it above his left arm. It gleams silver in the low light. He grits his teeth, steeling himself for what comes next, when something slams into his back.

He lands on his stomach, then is kicked over to his back, his spine aching as it hits the ground. A heavy foot on his chest keeps him in place. In his surprised state, he can’t resist.

“Dan Heng,” Yingxing says, towering over him and sounding eerily like Blade. “You are more of a fool than Dan Feng ever was.”