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English
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Published:
2025-09-23
Updated:
2025-10-09
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11,620
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3/11
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Good Days and Bad Dreams

Summary:

Calliope's life on Earth C is... wonderful. Better than she'd ever hoped. Why, then, does she keep having these nightmares?

Notes:

Hi. Oh my god. What do people put here. I've got like one fic ever and it's just a mid-tier drabble but now im posting an eleven-chapter fic oh my god

SPECIAL THANKS TO:
lilly (@femininebehavior) & eri for test reading, star for rping some of roxy's dialogue, ash for helping with callie's britishisms

Theme credit to @wovenstarlight

Chapter 1: Misunderstanding

Chapter Text

The Green Sun is crashing into your home planet’s Red Giant. Millions of years of astrophysics occur in seconds, each star deforming under the other’s mass. Their photospheres collide, and they begin to devour each other. Solar flares of red and green streak across the firmament as their heat multiplies, quickly becoming unbearable, burning your skin, until suddenly their light is gone. The universe is dark and empty. All that is left is a point, and a dangerous gravity. It pulls you in, stretching your body long and thin as you spiral into its centre. Once you’re gone, it devours itself, leaving nothing.

Your name is Calliope. You are sixteen years old.

Well, give or take. You’ve had to start counting in proper Earth years lately. Previously, you were counting in the “cycles” of your home planet (which was also Earth all along), but you’d never been entirely sure how much time that amounted to in sweeps or years. After some dicussion, you and your friends came to the conclusion that you were probably around the same age as everyone else, around sixteen years, or seven-and-a-bit sweeps. You even chose a birthday so you could start counting! And so, on Eleventh November (of coUrse!) of the first year on Earth C, you officially turned sixteen.

You’d never really had a hatchday party before. There were a lot of things you missed out on, growing up the way you did. Sleepovers, birthdays, outings with friends... all of these, you’ve now gotten to experience. You had your first sleepover with Roxy, your best friend in the world. She also played a pivotal role in your hatchday party, as well as taking you on plenty of outings. Jane, Jake, and even Dirk have invited you places as well, of course, but Roxy has made it practically routine.

In preparation for one such outing, you stand at the mirror, examining the dress you’ve alchemized; a black dress, made of the same starry fabric as Jade’s 3AM dress, but with a poofy, knee-length skirt and a little green belt, terminating in a bow in front. You’ve always been far more into menswear than dresses, and that’s still true, but you’ve been branching out a bit more on special occasions. Tonight, for example, Roxy is taking you to a fancy restaurant! While your typical tuxedo would be more than fancy enough for such a venue, a three-piece suit is practically casual on you.

Besides, you think Roxy will really like the dress.

You make your way downstairs and step outside. Roxy is already waiting for you – and she’s wearing a suit, the cheeky bugger. Void-blue blazer and slacks, a subtly pink shirt, purple tie. The cut is nothing particularly groundbreaking, but it's quite well-fitted.

ROXY: omgggg callieeee wtf???
CALLIOPE: what? what??
ROXY: girl ur DRESS?????
CALLIOPE: what???? is- i'm not wearing it backwards, or something?
ROXY: omg what? no girl ur just fuckin ADORABLE in that mf!!
ROXY: it looks so good on u wtffff is that alchemized or a custom job??
CALLIOPE: alchemized!
CALLIOPE: this was actUally my first attempt at making the 3am tUxedo.
CALLIOPE: && rather than ||.
CALLIOPE: bUt yoU, yoU got that sUit properly tailored, didn't yoU? :U
ROXY: lmaooo guilty as charged, i knew u were gonna GET my ass if this didnt fit right lol
CALLIOPE: that is trUe. i woUld do that. ~u~
CALLIOPE: shall we crack on?

You lift your hands up in a practised motion. Roxy floats up and grabs them, carrying you up, up, and away. This is by far your favourite method of transportation - seeing the city below you, the wind against your face, the velocity. It's the closest you'll ever get to flying yourself. Roxy continues to ramble about nothing in particular as she begins your descent, and you become very thankful for the matching 3am bloomers as you see four or five people looking up at you. You alight in front of the restaurant, and the group applauds mildly before going back to their business. 

You head in and take your seats, ordering two sodas as you settle in.

CALLIOPE: my, this one is Upscale!
ROXY: yup!! its french too
ROXY: or whatever french means on an earth with no france
CALLIOPE: i was Under the impression it was a type of cUisine?
MAITRE D’: Hello, welcome to Chateaux Degbear. Let me just say, it's an honor to see two of the Creators here. Are you ready to order?
ROXY: yeah uhhh lemme get a uhhh shrimp scampy?
CALLIOPE: and i’ll have the steak.
MAITRE D’: Shrimp scampi and the steak, you'd like that rare, right?
CALLIOPE: i- er, yes, if that's alright. how did yoU... have we met?
MAITRE D’: Oh, no, apologies, your reputation simply precedes you. If there’s nothing else, I’ll get that started for you ladies.

You blink a few times after he leaves, a bit confounded. Roxy notices your expression and pipes up in your defense.

ROXY: sooo that was weird
ROXY: “ur reputation precedes u” uhhh creepy much?? like damn
ROXY: keep that shit to urself waiter guy
CALLIOPE: oh, i wasn't bothered!
CALLIOPE: jUst... sUrprised, is all.
CALLIOPE: honestly, i’m sUrprised how Uncommon that sort of thing is!
ROXY: yea fr
ROXY: ty mom & dave
CALLIOPE: hm?
ROXY: oh shit did they not tell u their lil plan?
ROXY: well ok its my moms plan but
ROXY: she got a Super Important Seer Vision abt that sorta thing cuz it would be so fucked if we had to fight off the paparazzi every 2 seconds
ROXY: so she had dave write a bunch of screenplays and shit and send em back 2 diff points in earth c history
ROXY: all with dumbass pen names
ROXY: “timothy whorefolk” “jimbo taint” “andrew hussie” shit like that
ROXY: some r about us some r about celebs in general and some are just random strider bullshit
ROXY: but basically the idea was the cultural impact of all of these would sorta add up 2 a general tude of “yea lets not freak out when we see a famous person”
ROXY: esp us, theres apparently a whole trend in the last century b4 we showed up to depict us as just normal bitches
ROXY: ig dave seeded that?
CALLIOPE: oh! well, thank rose and dave indeed, then.
CALLIOPE: i’m not sUre what a paparazzi is, bUt i’m glad i don’t have to fight one.
CALLIOPE: i have enoUgh nightmares as is u_u;
ROXY: oh paparazzi is just what they call it when a buncha reporters n photographers get ALLL up in a celebs shit
ROXY: jostling and pushing and jonesing for a glimpse at the aforementioned celebs hot bod
ROXY: judging their outfits and asking them personal questions like “how often do you jack off and does your wife know????”
ROXY: hey wdym nightmares

She tries to sound casual, but you can tell she’s concerned. She’s sweet like that. You deflect, trying not to worry her.

CALLIOPE: oh, nothing too troUbling.
CALLIOPE: just some Upsetting dreams. it’s not every night, or anything.

It is most nights, though.

ROXY: i mean
ROXY: same
ROXY: i still see janes dead body a lot :(
ROXY: we got a lotta fucked up memories to work thru
CALLIOPE: that’s the odd part, thoUgh - it never seems to be memories, as i hear so many of Us describe.
CALLIOPE: last night, for example, is one i’ve had a few times, in which a feather slowly drops into a red sea.
CALLIOPE: i can’t explain why it fills me with so mUch dread.
ROXY: damn ofc u get the artsy dreams
ROXY: lil miss artsy fartsy
ROXY: i mean ig it makes sense?
ROXY: u didnt have ONE BIG SCARY THING happen at u
ROXY: it was all psychological horror stuff
ROXY: idk ask rose shes better at SHRIMPS
CALLIOPE: what?
ROXY: SHRIMPS SHRIMPS SHRIMPS :DDD

The waiter arrives like a knight in shining armour to save you from this uncomfortable topic, bringing both of you your food. Since coming to Earth, you’ve discovered the wonders of cooked meat. Humans too often overcook it, you’ve found, but a rare steak fits your palate perfecctly. You slather it in sweet, tangy barbecue sauce and begin eating. You’ve learned it’s best practice to use a fork and knife in public, rather than simply grabbing the damn thing and eating it like you normally would. You cut it up into pieces, wrestling it off your fork with your tongue. A few bites in, you catch Roxy smiling at you, her shrimp yet untouched.

ROXY: ur so fuckin cute
CALLIOPE: !!!
CALLIOPE: <swallows>
CALLIOPE: what did i do this time? :u
ROXY: idk smth abt how u use ur cool snake tongue to eat is just
ROXY: fuckin cool as hell
ROXY: which when paired with the fact that ur already adorable
ROXY: is cute as hell too
CALLIOPE: oh dear. so, no matter how hard i try to be cool, i’ll always jUst be cUte?
ROXY: no no ur not getting it
ROXY: u will be cool
ROXY: AND cute
ROXY: ur coolness just enhances ur cuteness
CALLIOPE: i think i Understand.
CALLIOPE: two coloUrs in contrast, each drawing attention to the other by comparison.
CALLIOPE: not qUite as stark as complementary, like green and red. more like...
CALLIOPE: green and pink? ^u^

Roxy grins, le-signing dreamily. The rest of the dinner is a relaxed affair. Quips, compliments, musings traded between bites, the food almost as appetizing as the company it’s enjoyed with. You leave, and Roxy flies you home. You live next door from each other, of course - after all, you do "rule" as twin "queens" of the Carapace Kingdom of Derspit, though you've gathered it's a largely ceremonial position. Notably, she drops you in front of her door, rather than your own.

ROXY: so um... care to come in 4 a cuppa tea or smth?

She seems nervous, like she's not sure if she's saying the right thing, but that's not all that unusual. Both of you grew up socially isolated, so you're naturally both still learning the ins and outs of Hanging Out. It took you a long time to even be as comfortable as you are, and you still often get nervous that you've said something stupid, or misjudged a situation, or misread body language. Evidently, Roxy feels the same way, biting her lip and twiddling her thumbs as she stands awkwardly angled towards the door. You smile, making an effort to be as clearly affirmative as possible.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, lovely!

She kindly opens the door to let you inside first. Your hives may be mirror images of each other architecturally, but the furnishings make them almost unrecognizable. The violet architecture hasn’t been painted, but has been largely covered by posters, tapestries, and windows to various biomes across the planet. She plops down on the couch, patting the plush seat next to her. You join without a moment's hesitation, bringing your feet up to the couch with you as the two of you settle into each other.

ROXY: i uh. rly meant it when i said u were cute in that dress
 CALLIOPE: >u< thank yoU, again!!! and i'm not sUre if i said it, bUt yoU really do look fetching in that sUit.
 ROXY: heh... ok no im not done gassin u up its still my turn
ROXY: im just. rly glad u r starting to feel comfortable wearing dresses and stuff with me?
ROXY: i know thats always like. kind of a leap, from masc clothes 2 fem. idk at least it was for me
ROXY: and i know its a diff situation but still...

Roxy's hands grab one of yours. Her soft fingers trace the firm carapace of your talons, occasionally pressing her fingertips to the sharp ends of yours. She does this, sometimes. It's helped you be a lot less self conscious about how dangerous your hands are.

ROXY: i know how... intimate that sorta thing can feel, and im just so fuckin stoked that im the one ur tryin it out with :)
CALLIOPE: well, i mean...
CALLIOPE: yoU do give me ample excUses to dress Up!
CALLIOPE: trUth be told, i did, Um...
CALLIOPE: ah, i'm not sUre why this embarrasses me!
CALLIOPE: when i was yoUnger, i did sew a dress or two, for cosplay pUrposes.
CALLIOPE: my brother destroyed them.
ROXY: :(
ROXY: man fuck that guy
CALLIOPE: fUck that gUy.
CALLIOPE: bUt now, i can try again!!
CALLIOPE: i sUspect i'll save dresses and skirts and sUch for special occasions, thoUgh.
CALLIOPE: it's hard to resist the "bUtch charm", as yoU pUt it, of menswear. ^u^
ROXY: ur tellin me... lmao
CALLIOPE: ah, yes! yoU've now felt the allUre firsthand!
ROXY: been feelin that irresistible charm all night girl~
CALLIOPE: well in that case, tell me, what do yoU think?

Roxy doesn't answer, just smiles at you, her eyes flicking lazily between each of yours. The two of you have scooted quite close together over the course of this conversation, as is your way. You're endlessly thankful to have someone like Roxy to be so physical with. You've been a bit clingy ever since you got the chance to be, but you learned quickly that most people find that a bit overbearing. Jade and Roxy are the two big exceptions. Jade's a big hugger, of course, and always indulges your hand-holding, but Roxy seems to understand you far more implicitly. She doesn't simply indulge or enjoy your physical affection, she matches it, clinging to you the same way you cling to her. Roxy is the only person with whom you feel like you can fully indulge your touch-starved neuroses, and you suspect you fill the same role for her.

While you're pondering this, Roxy kisses you.

You gasp, your eyes fluttering closed. It feels... nice. It feels really nice. Her lips on yours, her hair brushing aganist your face... It makes your heart flutter. Hell, you can swear you feel the other one fluttering, too. One of Roxy's hands reaches up to cup your face, and you reflexively grip the one that's still holding yours. You get lost in it, your mind completely blank for the precious few seconds it lasts. Roxy pulls back, and your eyes remain closed for almost longer than the kiss itself. They finally flutter open, blinking bewildered at Roxy. A single thought finally finds its way to the forefront of your mind. Why did she kiss you just now?

You answer your own question with a question. Why do you think?

Your sense returns to you. Your face heats up, and a pit forms in your stomach. Roxy immediately notices the conflict on your face, her expression dropping to match.

CALLIOPE: i... what was...........?
ROXY: shit, did i do that 2 soon??
ROXY: i never figured out like-
ROXY: how many dates ur supposed to go on before kissing, i-
CALLIOPE: d-dates???
ROXY: right yeah cuz like obv ur not supposed to do it on the first date thats what everyone says but
ROXY: like i could never get a straight answer on like
ROXY: which date was the kissin date
ROXY: wait shit was it supposed to be date 2??
ROXY: did i wait too long and fuck it up????

Her face is deeply flushed. She's tugging at her necktie, eyes turned away from you. You're so bewildered, you forget to even try and be tactful.

CALLIOPE: ...have yoU been taking me on dates?

Her eyes shoot back to you, with a horror that you'll never forgive yourself for inflicting upon your best friend. All that excess colour drains from her face.

ROXY: what... what do u mean?
ROXY: we
ROXY: were dating
ROXY: .....
ROXY: ........
ROXY: ..........right?

Chapter 2: Symmetry

Summary:

Calliope and Roxy each get some advice.

Chapter Text

You’re a toddler, sitting in a drab, grey daycare. A red sun shines in a black sky outside. You were playing checkers with your sister only a moment ago. Where is she? You look around the room. Other children, faceless, play with their own toys around you. You panic and begin to cry, tugging at the jpeggy tunics of the grown-ups. One turns to you with kind, pink eyes, and picks you up to soothe you. You stop crying, because you remember where your sister went. You look back up at the grown-up’s smiling face. You pray she doesn't find the body.

You wake up heavy with guilt.

CALLIOPE: oh....
CALLIOPE: oh, no, roxy...

Your name is Calliope. You are sixteen years old. You have just broken your best friend's heart.

No, correction: you're breaking her heart. Present tense. You've apparently been leading her on, and now you're breaking her heart.

ROXY: wh
ROXY: oh no what
ROXY: callie, we
ROXY: weve been dating for months???
ROXY: ur my
ROXY: u…
 CALLIOPE: roxy, i-
CALLIOPE: i’m sorry...
CALLIOPE: yoU know if it was anyone it woUld be yoU, bUt...

Roxy's starting to tear up. You look down at your hands, still holding hers. You feel like you’re going to vomit. What you have to say is going to hurt her, but lying would hurt her more.

CALLIOPE: ...roxy, i’m a cherUb.
CALLIOPE: as mUch as i wish otherwise, we’re not capable of sUch lovely, bright-red feelings.
CALLIOPE: oUr natUre is only to find attraction throUgh contempt.
 ROXY: but
ROXY: the way u look at me
ROXY: the way u act around me
ROXY: i thought... :(
 CALLIOPE: i know.
CALLIOPE: i think i always knew.
CALLIOPE: and i kept leading yoU on, becaUse i wanted to play pretend.
CALLIOPE: like i always do. u_u
CALLIOPE: i thoUght i had left that behind with my trollsona, bUt i’m jUst as awfUl as ever.
CALLIOPE: i wanted all the trappings of a matespritship, with none of the responsibility.
CALLIOPE: to receive yoUr love, withoUt having to love yoU in return.
 ROXY: i mean
ROXY: callie
ROXY: what the fuck are u talking abt??
ROXY: u
ROXY: *sniff*
ROXY: u kissed me back!
ROXY: like idk i felt pretty loved right there!!!

Now look what you’ve done. You’ve made her cry. She’s crying, because of you. You pull your hands away from hers, sniffling. Really? Now you’re crying? What the hell do you have to cry about, you manipulative bitch? You stand up from the couch. She reaches for you, looks at you with those beautiful eyes, marred red with tears.

ROXY: callie.....
CALLIOPE: i'm sorry.
CALLIOPE: i'm...

You don’t finish your sentence. You’ve done enough damage already. You just turn around and leave her crying on the couch. You’re such a coward. You run from her door to yours, bursting into your hive - a mirror image to Roxy’s house. You rush up the stairs. You push into your respiteblock, falling on your plush bed and finally, finally letting yourself cry, here where nobody can feel sorry for you.

You didn’t lock your front door. You never do, and it wouldn’t stop Roxy anyway. A Rogue of Void could easily phase through it, or even simply slip directly through the wall between your domiciles, floating right up into your room to finish the conversation. You almost wish she would. A cruel part of you wants her to barge in and yell at you, berate you for hurting her like this, call you an ugly bitch and say she never liked you anyway, so you can be mad at her and not feel so guilty. A selfish part of you wishes she’d knock gently on your respiteblock door to come comfort you, tell you she’s not upset, hold you while you sob your eyes out.

But nothing of the sort happens. Roxy doesn’t intrude, she doesn’t knock. You turn off your palmhusk, so she can’t message you either. You’re left alone for the night. Just yourself, and your guilt.





> Be Roxy.

You stare dumbfounded at Calliope’s back as she runs away. You could follow her. You could tell her she’s overthinking, that you’re sorry for kissing her, that you can’t believe she left you like this. Instead, you just cry and pester Jane.

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] --

TG: jane
TG: r u online i need sm1 to tlak to
TG: callie just brokeup with me abd idfk what 2 do
TG: she said she ddint think we were dating
TG: except she also said she knew i thgouht we were
TG: im so fuckign stupid
TG: how did i get it let this far and not realize????
TG: i mean fuck she keeps lookin @me with those bigole eyes and
TG: shesf cuking beatoifl
TG: *beuatiful
TG: *fuck it shes pretty and im crying (NOT DRUNK PROMMY)
TG: nd she cuddlse me and holds me
TG: but is she right is that bestfrend stuff??????
TG: god inm still just a stupid horny teen mackin on anything with a phlse arent i fuckkkkk
GG: Slow down, Roxy.
GG: I’m here.
 TG: ilvoe her so much what do i do
TG: am if ucking crazy were we not dating??
 GG: I, for one, was under the impression you were.
GG: And you know how oblivious I can be about these things!
GG: You’re not crazy.
 TG: i feel crazy
 GG: Well, you’re not!
GG: The way she clings to you, even I thought it was pretty obvious :B
GG: Now, take a few deep breath, and say again.
GG: What exactly happened?

You follow her advice, taking a few shaky breaths before recounting what just happened, in as much detail as you can.

GG: Well, now.
GG: That is a pickle.
 TG: ur fuckin tellin me & not the yummy kind
 GG: It seems to me there’s a few open ends here.
GG: Call it human-centric, but I’m not sure I buy the whole “attraction throUgh contempt” nonsense.
GG: Callie’s sure never seemed all that jazzed about the prospect!
GG: Didn’t she say once she was jealous of human love?
GG: Sounds a bit like you, before you came out.
 TG: as
TG: as trans??
 GG: What? No, as bisexual.
 TG: OH
TG: lmao yea
TG: i was pinin HARD 4 bofa yall and had no fuckin clue
TG: sry 4 subconscious hitting on u all those years btw
 GG: Long since forgiven, Roxy.
GG: Anyway, let’s say give her some time, then message her.
 TG: wait no wtf do i say
TG: like what if shes frfr
TG: i dont wanna pressure her into anything
TG: like i wanna be with her but
TG: not if it hurts her
 GG: You just speak your heart, Roxy. You’ve always been better at that than the rest of us losers :B
 TG: awww thanks janey <3
TG: i guess ill
TG: wait a bit???
TG: fuck

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] --

And wait you do. You spend what must be an hour just... sitting there. A little scratching at the back of your mind says you want a drink, but you know better. When you figure enough time has passed, you open up your phone, pester Calliope, and stare at the empty text field for several minutes. You’re not procrastinating, you’re hyping yourself up.

Once you do, of course, the floodgates open.

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering uraianUmbra [UU] --

TG: callie
TG: im not upset
TG: i mean ok yes im upset
TG: but im not mad at u
TG: get that outta the way 1st
TG: so like
TG: heres the thing
TG: i still think ur maybe sorta like
TG: stuck
TG: on the blackrom thing
TG: like i think ur takin biological stuff wayyy too seriously
TG: i mean humans “only” do redrom and john 100% has that thing with terezi
TG: but i mean that ALSO doesnt have 2 mean anything cuz
TG: nobodys gonna force u 2 b my gf
TG: like if ur sure u cant feel that way abt me
TG: thats ok
TG: ur my best friend and thats way more important
TG: we can forget the kiss ok?

Calliope’s profile indicates she’s still offline. She’s probably turned her phone off. You whine and flop over on the couch, just staring off into space while you stew. Eventually, against your better judgment, you pick up your phone again.

TG: ok no i cant 4get it
TG: i dont wanna 4get it and move on like it was nothing!
TG: it wasnt nothing!
TG: i kissed u BECAUSE ur my best friend
TG: like thats why i love u
TG: all the same reasons ur my bff is why im in big red hearts for u
TG: and im gonna be real i straight up DO NOT believe u cant feel love ive SEEN it on u!!
TG: i catch u staring i see that lil twinkle in ur eye i see u light up when u see me
TG: u kissed me back!! 4 fuck sake!!!
TG: fuck idk maybe im projecting
TG: either way i love u. and i cant not love u. and i dont want to not love u.
TG: and like im ngl
TG: the “playing pretend” line stuck w/ me cuz like
TG: thats smth ur brother would say!!!
TG: rly all of it the whole “i cant love anyone cuz im a monster” REEKS of that mf!!
TG: i know he rly fucked u up but
TG: u cant let him rule ur life!
TG: the cunts dead in every way that matters
TG: other u turned in2 a black hole n ate his ass
TG: ok pretend i didnt say it like that
TG: just. ok im gonna go to bed now
TG: ily. friendways or redways idc
TG: gn

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering uranianUmbra [UU] --

You turn off your phone and toss it onto the plush carpet, just outside arms’ reach, to stop yourself from adding another appendix to the goddamn thesis you just wrote in Callie’s DMs. You fumble around for the remote and turn on some bullshit tv. Sportsball or some shit. You don’t really care, it’s just noise to drown out your brain. You could have handled it better, you think, but there’s no reason to dwell on it now.

You fall asleep on the couch.





> Be Rose.

It’s three in the morning. You know this because the phone that woke you up (your own) has a clock on it. You groan and sit up as it continues to buzz sporadically. You try to open it quickly to spare your fiancee the rude awakening you got, but too late.

KANAYA: Groan
KANAYA: Rose Dear
KANAYA: Forgive Me For Being Blunt
KANAYA: But Who In The Shitting Fuck Is Messaging You At This Ungodly Hour
KANAYA: And Do They Possess Conditional Immortality
 ROSE: It’s Calliope, apparently.
 KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: We Like Her Right
 ROSE: Yes, honey. No chainsaw massacres today, I’m afraid.
 KANAYA: God Damn It
KANAYA: Oh Well
KANAYA: What Is She Messaging You About
 ROSE: A lover’s squabble, apparently.
ROSE: Or a consummation. Hard to say yet.
ROSE: Go back to bed, I’ll handle this.

Kanaya clearly enunciates a few grumbles as she rolls back over. You sit up and start typing your response.

-- uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

UU: rose?
UU: i need advice.
UU: i think i’ve trUly cocked Up with roxy.
 TT: I’m going to assume this isn’t a euphemism.
TT: On the off chance it is, congratulations on reaching that point in your relationship.
 UU: oUr...
UU: bloody hell, did everyone know i was in a flUshed relationship bUt me???
 TT: You didn’t?
TT: Oh, dear.
TT: I’m sure you’re fine, Callie. Knowing her, she’ll laugh it off and just take you on another first date, or somesuch sappy nonsense.
TT: Really, all you’ve done is given her an excuse to perform a grand gesture.
 UU: rose, yoU misUnderstand.
UU: i’m a cherUb. a creatUre of hate.
UU: i can’t love her the way she wants.
UU: the way she deserves. u~u
 TT: ...I see.
TT: You’re still in the cave.
 UU: the wot? :u
 TT: Plato’s cave. It's an ironically primitive allegory for education thought up by a philosopher whose greatest cultural impact is the radical idea that teachers shouldn't copulate with their students.
TT: The allegory involves prisoners, chained to a wall from birth, presumably by some fantasized version of Plato himself, if he were no longer bound by silly things like "law" and "ethics."
TT: On the opposite wall, they're treated to a shadowplay. Knowing nothing of what the puppets represent, they believe the shadows themselves to be reality.
TT: If unchained, "educated," they will see the outside world for what it is, and begin to truly understand the whole of what the shadows on the wall portrayed.
TT: If the escapee returns to the other prisoners, Plato alleges without evidence, they won't believe a word their former comrade says. They'll simply think he's crazy, going on about something as inscrutable to them as the sex lives of outer gods.
TT: It's a shame he died so soon, he would have loved punch card alchemy.
 UU: yoU think me a hapless prisoner, then?
 TT: Of your own convictions, yes.
TT: You see the shadows of cherubim, dancing out their routines on the cave wall. You see them kill their siblings, fly off to space, have caliginous, heterosexual sex, produce children, and the cycle continues.
TT: Chained in place as you are, you can’t concieve of anything outside the cave, only the shadows on the wall.
TT: Roxy has called out to you from the cave entrance. Will you break your chains and go to her? Or will you remain trapped forever?
 UU: rose, yoU’re saying that everything i know aboUt cherUbim is wrong.
UU: that the knowledge of all my ancestors, passed down psychically throUgh generations, is fUndamentally UntrUe.
UU: that in all those generations, not a single one of my people has had the werewithal to escape yoUr "cave."
 TT: Not my cave, blame Plato.
TT: All I’m saying is that you’re a painfully obvious closet case.
TT: When I was younger, I came up with all sorts of heterosexual explanations for my feelings towards Kanaya.
TT: The idea that I could be in love with a woman was as impossible to me as the idea of matespritship is to you.
 UU: there’s a fUndamental difference between those two things, rose.
UU: gender is by far the least of my worries.
UU: male or female, the attraction itself still takes the same form.
UU: i’m not staring at bloody shadows, these are mating ritUals of cosmic scale!
 TT: I can only imagine how that feels.
TT: Knowing that your intended courtship is so vast must make them seem inescapably important.
TT: Puts a lot of pressure on you, doesn’t it?
 UU: i’m not sUre yoU’re really listening, bUt...
UU: i suppose i’ll keep yoUr advice in mind.
UU: thank yoU.
 TT: Happy to help. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a bed to get back to. Good night, Calliope.
 UU: good night. apologies for keeping yoU Up.

-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

KANAYA: What Was Up
 ROSE: Calliope didn’t realize she and Roxy were dating.
 KANAYA:
KANAYA: How
 ROSE: She still thinks she’s only capable of caliginous romance.
 KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: Did You Tell Her About The Cave
 ROSE: I told her about the cave.
ROSE: ...I think she just messaged you, too.
 KANAYA: What
KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: Groan
KANAYA: So She Did
 ROSE: Be gentle with her, dear.
 KANAYA: Insert Extramarital Sex Joke
 ROSE: ...
 KANAYA: Clean Up Those Disappointed Finish Crumbs Im Sleepy

You watch as Kanaya squints at her palmhusk, resigned in her duty to provide reasonable advice. You lean against her shoulder, a gesture with twin goals; firstly, you want to provide your matesprit with some comfort while she undertakes this act of charity. Secondly, you’re nosy and want to snoop on her chatlogs.

-- uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

UU: kanaya, are yoU awake?
UU: i need some advice.
 GA: Calliope I Am Diurnal
 UU: sorry.
 GA: Its Fine
GA: I Hear Youre In The Cave
 UU: ah. rose told you, did she. ^u^;
 GA: Not Sure Why You Assumed She Would Not
GA: We Share A Bed
GA: And Sometimes A Recupracoon If We Are In The Mood For Slime
 UU: fair enoUgh.
UU: anyway, i didn’t message yoU jUst to hear the cave metaphor again! >:u
 GA: Its More Of An Allegory
 UU: does the distinction really matter?
 GA: I Dont Know But Rose Is Insistent
GA: Anyway
GA: Please Continue
GA: What Was It You Wanted From Me
 UU: i feel rose doesn’t qUite have the context to Understand how nUanced this is for me.
UU: she's a hUman, so of coUrse she thinks of relationships from the perspective of the flUshed qUadrant.
UU: having intimate knowledge of all foUr qUadrants, yoU may have more relevant insight.
UU: i don't know. coUld yoU hUmoUr me, at least? instead of jUst calling me a bloody “closet case,” whatever that’s sUpposed to mean?
 GA: Of Course
GA: What Do You Want To Know
 UU: well, as yoU know, i’m well-versed in the strUctUres of all foUr qUadrants.
UU: however, my... “stUdy” has always been relegated to the relationships themselves, rather than the feelings they correspond to.
UU: even in the case of caliginoUs romance, i’ve not yet foUnd someone who sparks something identifiable in me.
UU: so, in yoUr words, what does pitch attraction feel like?
 GA: Hm
GA: I Will Use The Example Of A Serious Disagreement
GA: Platonically There Are Two Expected Results To An Argument
GA: Either It Gets Heated And You Feel Upset
GA: Or It Is Resolved And You Feel Relieved
GA: With A Kismesis However The Results Are Flipped
GA: A Resolved Argument Will Make You Feel Disappointed
GA: A Heated Argument Will Make You Feel Energized
GA: The Conflict Itself Excites You
 UU: i see. not so bad, i sUppose.

ROSE: “Not so bad?” So she never even liked the idea of kismesissitude?
ROSE: Interesting.
 KANAYA: No Backseat Advising

UU: so, then, what has yoUr experience with flUshed attraction been like?
 GA: My Experience Specifically
GA: Fraught
GA: But In General It Manifests As A Deep Desire For Closeness
GA: Physical And Otherwise
GA: You Wish To Follow Them
GA: To Move In Parallel
GA: Where A Moirail Is Focused On Improvement And Regulation Of The Other
GA: A Matesprit Considers That Improvement To Be Inevitable
GA: And Instead Wishes To Come Along For The Ride
 UU: hm.
 GA: Hm
 UU: yes, hm.
UU: yoU toUched on moirallegiance, too. so then, to complete the set, what of yoUr experience with the ashen qUadrant? :U
 GA: Fuck
GA: Thats Even More Fraught And Honestly I Would Rather Not Get Into It Unless It Is Directly Pertinent
GA: Please Tell Me You Did Not Quote Cock Up Unquote So Badly That You Need An Auspistice
 UU: let's hope not.
UU: yoU’ve been a great help, kanaya.
 GA: Anytime
GA: Except Preferably Between Eight AM And Eight PM

-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

Kanaya puts down her palmhusk and lets out a long, weary sigh.

KANAYA: She Really Is Such A Closet Case
 ROSE: Was I this bad before we properly got together?
 KANAYA: Worse
KANAYA: You Knew We Were Dating But You Were Too Much Of A Flighty Broad To Say It Without Some Such Nonsense As
KANAYA: Oh I Am Simply Engaging In An Interspecies Interplanetary Intercultural Exchange Of Ideas And Knowledge
KANAYA: Nevermind The Respiteblock Eyes
KANAYA: Such Snarky Horseshit
 ROSE: Careful when you say such things, dear. The Flighty Broads And Their Snarky Horseshitometer might mysteriously fix itself.
 KANAYA: Oh God That Thing
KANAYA: Okay Okay Twist My Arm I Will Stop Inviting The Return Of The Fucking Horseshitometer And Go Back To The Sleep Calliope Interrupted
KANAYA: And We Are Sure We Like Her Yes
 ROSE: Goodnight, Kanaya.





> This is a Calliope fic, isn't it? Get back to being Calliope already.

It’s morning. You’re poised at Roxy’s front door, dressed in your usual attire, holding a bag from her favourite coffee shop. You’re ready for this conversation. You’ve been practising it all night. You even woke up in a half-asleep daze at one point to try and write it town, but in the morning you saw it was mostly incoherent apologies and self-deprecation. (You apparently even referred to yourself as a “stUpid bitch” at one point, which gave you a strange hit of nostalgia when you read it in the morning.)

The speech you have in your head now is much more constructive. You’re probably going to have to improvise, since Roxy will inevitably have things to say. But you’ve a head full of thoughts, a fistful of pastries, and a heart full of something. You can do this. You find yourself ringing the doorbell about a half-second before you consciously decide to, and after a few seconds, the door opens.

ROXY: oh
ROXY: hi
 CALLIOPE: hi.
CALLIOPE: i sUppose it’s time to talk aboUt last night...
CALLIOPE: i broUght pastries! ^_^;
 ROXY: is it
ROXY: those chocolate croissants
 CALLIOPE: yoU mean pain aU chocolat?
 ROXY: yes u lil stinker i mean pan o’ chocolate
 CALLIOPE: heehee! yes, i’ve one of those, among other correctly-named sweets.
 ROXY: well damn i guess i GOTTA 4give u now!!
ROXY: sry too soon
ROXY: i was never mad at u that was a bad joke
ROXY: hey how come front doors r so awkward haha
ROXY: come on in b4 i run my mouth straight in2 the ground

She brings you inside again, much less confidently than she did last night. You both sit on the couch again, but on opposite sides from before, and several more inches apart. Roxy sits curled up, idly hugging a throw pillow the size of her torso. You sit properly this time, feet on the ground, cheated out to face Roxy. The air is tense, but Roxy has a kind expression, a reassuring air you try your best to match.

CALLIOPE: so, then...
CALLIOPE: let’s crack on.
CALLIOPE: i’m sorry for how i left things last night.
CALLIOPE: i panicked. conscioUsly, i thoUght that if i stayed, i’d jUst end Up hUrting yoU more.
CALLIOPE: sUbconscioUsly, i think i knew that was bollocks, that yoU’d be Upset either way. i think i simply didn’t want to see it. u_u
CALLIOPE: that wasn’t fair to yoU, and i’m sorry.
 ROXY: im sorry 4 the wall of text i sent u
ROXY: i invalidated ur feelins n experiences a lot there
ROXY: ur whole culture rly
ROXY: n i said u sounded like ur brother which is just
ROXY: such a fuckin dick thing 2 say
 CALLIOPE: yoU’ve nothing to apologize for, love.
CALLIOPE: yoUr perspective actUally gave me qUite a lot to think aboUt.
 ROXY: :o?

Roxy cocks her head, gingerly taking a bite of her pastry and getting crumbs all over the throw pillow. You take a deep breath, wearing a shaky smile as you speak.

CALLIOPE: roxy, yoU mean so, so mUch to me.
CALLIOPE: i don’t think yoU’re entirely wrong aboUt what yoU’ve seen in my eyes.
CALLIOPE: i care deeply for yoU. more deeply than i do anyone else.
CALLIOPE: i wish to be close to yoU.
CALLIOPE: to live in parallel.
CALLIOPE: i think i feel as close to flUshed for yoU as a cherUb possibly can.
 ROXY: ;w;

You feel your voice beginning to tremble. You scoot a bit closer, sacrificing eye contact to keep your nerve. You’re sure you must look like an actual lime right now, with how you’re blushing.

CALLIOPE: and i think that,
CALLIOPE: shoUld yoU wish to, ah,
CALLIOPE: move oUr relationship in that trajectory,
CALLIOPE: to pick Up where we left off...
CALLIOPE: while i can’t gUarantee it woUld continUe that way for long,
CALLIOPE: i think... i shoUld very mUch like to try.
CALLIOPE: if yoU’ll still have me.

You hear a sniffle and whip your head around. Have you said something wrong? Have you made her cry again? The answers are apparently no and yes, respectively, because before you even meet her eyes, Roxy barrels into you. She squeezes you tight. You hug her back softly.

ROXY: calliegirl
ROXY: why tf do u think i wouldnt have u???
 CALLIOPE: well, aside from how awfUlly i treated yoU last night, i thoUght yoU might not be...
CALLIOPE: satisfied, with sUch a lUkewarm answer.

Roxy pulls back, raising a playfully-judgmental eyebrow.

ROXY: luke fuckin what????
ROXY: girl that lil speech was the most romantic style shit i ever heard
ROXY: on ur romeo grind
ROXY: make a girl SWOON
ROXY: if i wasnt already in gaysies with u i would be now
ROXY: and ok listen
ROXY: even if that stuff DIDNT sound super gay and heartsy
ROXY: ill take whatever ur givin
ROXY: we dont gotta give it a name
ROXY: n we dont gotta kiss or anything if u dont wanna
ROXY: i guess i just wanna be close to u too :)

And just like that, you are. There's a new weight to the ease with which you settle into each other, though. You know what it means now, when she squeezes your arm, or feels your talons, or slow-blinks at you like a cat. You feel greedy for it, but she seems to see the flash of guilt on your face and leans in a bit closer, her hands moving to your waist. Her generosity emboldens you a bit.

CALLIOPE: i jUst... i wish i coUld feel what yoU feel.
CALLIOPE: it seems so lovely.
CALLIOPE: to relate oneself in such a kind way.
 ROXY: hmm
 CALLIOPE: hmm?
 ROXY: yes HMMMMMM
ROXY: ...........
ROXY: ok then
ROXY: guess i got no choice
 CALLIOPE: oh?
 ROXY: today im gonna go make some gay preparations
ROXY: *prepargaytions if you will
ROXY: cuz tomorrow?
ROXY: im gonna MAKE u fall in love w me >;3

Chapter 3: Carnival

Summary:

Roxy enacts her master plan to make Calliope fall *properly* in love.

Chapter Text

You stand on the balcony of The Meteor, watching the Earth rot before your very eyes. Kingdoms expand, then crumble; lush forests, verdant hills, towering mountains, all are eroded into dunes of dist. Shitty statues rise from the ash, the sun bloats into a red giant, and every living creature dies but you. You are alone again, without even an awful brother to talk to.

Who, then, is breathing on your neck?

You wake up in a panic.

Your name is Calliope. You are sixteen years old. The only sweet sixteen left in your friend group, until November comes.

You're feeling a bit reminiscent about that tonight - the suit you're wearing, the TUXEDO OF ECLECTICA, was last worn at Jane and John’s seventeenth birthday, when they officially surpassed you. It's a bit flashy, with the bright blue frills and the pillbox hat, so you've not worn it many times since alchemizing it. You feel it's probably appropriate for your date, though.

Date. Date!!

You're going on a date!!!!!!!!!!!

You're so nervous. And excited! And, scared? Which is different from nervous. But mostly excited. You took half an hour to decide what you wanted to wear, and you've since spent fifteen minutes making sure everything looks exactly right. You shake your foot, letting the layered, petal-like frills of your bell-bottom trousers shuffle into their natural resting position. You do the same for your cuffs, then faff about with the peplum of your blazer. You finally allow yourself one last straightening of the bowtie before heading out front to meet Roxy.

She's already there, of course, in that lovely purple yarn dress. She's wearing it for you. She's wearing it to court you, because she wants you. The thought turns over and over in your head, grinding your brain into a sweet paste. You've never been desired like this before. Or, correction: you've never felt desired like this. Because apparently, this is what Roxy has been doing for you for months. How long, you wonder, did she spend in front of the mirror, arranging the stray threads on her skirt just so? How long did she spend tying her necktie yesterday? All for you, to impress you, to make you feel loved.

And you do. God, you do. You just hope whatever you give her feels just as good.

You step out front, striking a little pose while she claps excitedly.

CALLIOPE: well, then, what do yoU think?
 ROXY: i think its abt damn TIME u wore that one again!!!
ROXY: havent seen that bad grl since her debut in april
ROXY: but god its so fuckin FAB
ROXY: the frills! the bluebell bottoms! the mother fucking HAT????
ROXY: the 70s called they fuckin WISH they had what ur servin
ROXY: i told them 2 call back later n then blocked their number cuz aint nobody gettin their hands on what u got
 CALLIOPE: i’m glad yoU still like it!!!
CALLIOPE: i wanted something nice, that yoU’ve seen and appreciated before, bUt that’s still a bit fancier than my typical repertoire.
CALLIOPE: i think i strUck a nice balance with this one, eh?
 ROXY: literal swooning over here
ROXY: goddamn i feel like a onetrick pony in this
ROXY: the trick is knitting
ROXY: which is v impressive 4 a pony
ROXY: but boring 4 a girl with access 2 theoretically infinite alchemical combinations of outfits
 CALLIOPE: boring?? bUt it’s sUch a lovely dress!
CALLIOPE: certainly one of my favoUrites yoU’ve worn.
 ROXY: hehehe
ROXY: youve said that b4
ROXY: its almost like i
ROXY: *eyes gleam like a chuuni*
ROXY: decided 2 wear ur favorite dress on purpose 2 impress u
 CALLIOPE: tipping yoUr hand a bit, aren’t yoU, darling?
 ROXY: in my defense u didnt know i was in love with u until 2 days ago
ROXY: im makin an effort 2 b more clear w/ my intentions
 CALLIOPE: that’s wonderfUlly sweet of yoU, roxy. i appreciate it!
CALLIOPE: i think being more aware of these gestUres will help me better Understand how they make me feel.
CALLIOPE: oh dear, that soUnded terribly clinical, didn’t it?
 ROXY: no i getchu
ROXY: cant seduce u if u dont know ur gettin seduced!
ROXY: speakin of which!!!

Roxy uncaptchalogues a large, mechanical window. You recognize it as one of her FENESTRATED PLANES, portals through the Furthest Ring. She stands it up against the wall of your hive and it immediately turns on, displaying a vast green field under a bright blue sky.

ROXY: calliope nolastname
ROXY: i hope ur ready
ROXY: 4 the best gd evening of ur life
 CALLIOPE: ...it’s 4pm.
 ROXY: well ok were gonna GET 2 the evening
ROXY: our 1st stop tho?

She takes your hand and brings you closer to the portal. You can see the other side better from this angle - it’s not just an empty field. In the distance, a familiar gray structure pokes up from the ground.

ROXY: picnic at the meteor!

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to set things up and start eating. It’s a lovely day for a picnic, you think. Your blanket is laid out about half a kilometer away from the meteor. It strikes an imposing figure. Is it taller now than in your time? Or did you simply never see it from below? You look off in the other direction, hoping for some other landmarks to put it in context. It seems most of the ruins you remember haven’t yet been built, the mountains yet unformed... Though, in the distance, you do see the very top of a familiar statue. An arm, badly compressed, holding an equally awful torch.

CALLIOPE: Ugh.
 ROXY: whats up?
 CALLIOPE: that.
CALLIOPE: so fUcking shitty. XU~
 ROXY: aw what the jpeg liberties??
ROXY: i fuckin love them tbh
ROXY: its a reference 2 this old earth movie
ROXY: where its like far in the future and
ROXY: ok wait no lemme back up
ROXY: a guy goes 2 this ~mysterious planet~ where apes rule and humans drool
ROXY: and then he finds the statue of liberty half buried and is like
ROXY: OMFG IT WAS EARTH THE WHOLE TIIIIIIME
ROXY: anyway i think thats what dirks bro was doin with these cuz he knew it was gonna go to shit
ROXY: and he thought itd be fuckin hilarious
ROXY: which it is lol
 CALLIOPE: ah.
CALLIOPE: i sUppose a strider’s sense of hUmoUr explains why there were so bloody many of those horrid things!
CALLIOPE: it’s fUnny... they were so tall back home, dominating the horizon like skyscrapers.
CALLIOPE: bUt here, i see only the torch of a single one...
CALLIOPE: i sUppose most of them are still Under the groUnd, waiting for erosion and tectonic activity to Unearth them, jUst so they can disgrace my yoUnger self’s eyes in a few hundred millenia.
 ROXY: damn

You sit in silence for a moment, watching Roxy watch the horizon. Her pink eyes appear to trace the jagged edges of the buried statue in the distance. You’re content to stay like that for awhile, but Roxy suddenly blinks and shakes her head, donning a shocked expression, her eyes dancing around as though solving some logical conundrum.

ROXY: waitt wait wait wait waittttt!!!
ROXY: STOP the damn presses!!!!!
ROXY: i just made the connection omg
ROXY: ok so once when we were messaging just shootin the shit
ROXY: u mentioned smth abt statues outside ur hive
ROXY: i just realized u were talkin abt these lovely ladies lmao

Roxy giggles, and you resist the urge to correct her on the “loveliness” of these ladies. If she likes the Shitty Liberties, you suppose you can tolerate them for awhile.

ROXY: u kno i clung 2 that lil tidbit abt statues
ROXY: UU lore was like so hard 2 come by
ROXY: so whenever i DID learn smth abt u
ROXY: i made sure 2 file that shit away in my brain 2 remember 4ever
ROXY: god i thought u were so fucking cool and mysterious
ROXY: always left me wanting a lil more
ROXY: i think maybe thats part of what got me in2 u

Roxy finally turns back to you with that last sentence, her sweet smile infecting you. You realize you haven’t had much time to ponder Roxy’s feelings for you. The last two days have been such a whirlwind that you havent had time to stop and think about it. Until now, you’ve conceptualized them as something new, something that has only ever existed on Earth C, but now you’re realizing... it might go back so much further. Your heart thumps in your chest when you consider that.

CALLIOPE: when do yoU think it was, then?
CALLIOPE: that yoU “got into” me, i mean.
 ROXY: oh idfk
ROXY: i was def feelin it by the time we entered sburb i think
ROXY: i didnt know 4 a while ofc
ROXY: didnt even realize i liked girls til a few months in after id actually like. met girls in person lol
ROXY: i def remember when i first like
ROXY: rly realized i liked u like that
ROXY: i mean 1st of all the leadup 2 givin u the ring had me like. rly thinkin abt the symbolism of it all. but i was like haha thats crazy

Roxy suddenly gets a lot quieter. She looks away, picking at the grass by the edge of the picnic blanket. She’s blushing.

ROXY: but after
ROXY: remember when we were on lofaf
ROXY: i was tellin u 2 keep an eye on jade
ROXY: n then i waffled 4 like 5 minutes b4 actually leaving 2 go fight waterbitch
ROXY: and i was like “words aint gonna cut it ca’mere”
 CALLIOPE: i do remember! qUite fondly, in fact.
CALLIOPE: it was sUch a sweet moment. and the longest hUg i’d ever received, thoUgh it’s since been repeatedly sUrpassed. ^u^
CALLIOPE: before the embrace, there was even a moment when i honestly thoUght yoU were going to kiss me. ~u~
 ROXY: i mean i
ROXY: i was
 CALLIOPE: :U
 ROXY: the whole forest like
ROXY: idk it felt like it got quiet 4 just a second
ROXY: like it was waitin up for us
ROXY: and i was just lookin at u like. just so gd stoked u were there with me and i didnt wanna say goodbye again so soon
ROXY: and i rly for realsies almost kissed u
ROXY: like i literally barely stopped myself
ROXY: but yea thats when i realized i had a crush on u lol

She’s still blushing. It’s gotten deeper, even. She looks so happy, recalling this memory, but... she also seems embarrassed, like she’s just said something ridiculous. You decide the best thing to do in this vulnerable moment is to pull her into a hug. Roxy lets out a little squeak before settling in with her arms round your waist. She buries her face in your shoulder and squeezes. It feels just like it did back on LoFaF, that same rush in your chest. Roxy’s soft cooing even replicates the ambiance of the hummingbirds.

The hug ends a bit too soon. Though, you’re sure it could have lasted a century and you’d still feel the same. Roxy pulls back and looks at you. You look at her. You feel the atmosphere change, feel an anticipation building. Your faces are so close together, you could...

You pull back before anything can happen. A brief pang of disappointment flashes on Roxy’s face, before being replaced with a sheepish, giggly smile. You change the subject, looking away at the meteor.

CALLIOPE: i never showed yoU my respiteblock, did i?





> Be Roxy.

The date’s going pretty good! You think. You’re pretty sure. You don’t really have any frame of reference, considering this is technically your first real date, ever, but from what you’ve gleaned from teen movies over the years, almost-kisses are almost a better sign than full-kisses.

Your girlfriend-or-something is taking you on a detour from your meticulous plan, but you allotted for some time to explore, fuck around, shoot the shit, etc., so as long as you get back to the portal by sunset.

It takes the two of you a bit to find the right entrance. It’s weird - the meteor has its own local gravity, even lodged in the earth, so it’s a bit disorienting to fly around. Luckily, when Calliope points out her ‘balcony’, it’s at least mostly level with the ground. You set her down, and she spends a minute or two just pointing things out in the distance.

CALLIOPE: that city, over there?
CALLIOPE: when i was mUch yoUnger, i didn’t realize it was rUins. i Used to wonder if there were people there.
CALLIOPE: i dreamt Up a city of cherUbim, with their own lives, their own siblings.
CALLIOPE: their chains woUld be long enoUgh to let them wander the whole city.
CALLIOPE: i dreamt that one day, they’d realize we were oUt here, and help Us lengthen oUr own chains so we coUld come join them.

She looks so nostalgic, recounting that little dream. She’s got this cute little smile on her face, just standing in the sun as she stares out at the horizon.

CALLIOPE: it’s odd, thoUgh... in my time, it’s to the south.
CALLIOPE: here, it’s vey clearly northwest. :u
 ROXY: damn wtf
ROXY: did sm1 pull a patrick n push it smwhere else
ROXY: or maybe its the same thing that brought up the shitty liberties
ROXY: *shitberties
ROXY: **shittertitties
ROXY: got it in one
 CALLIOPE: heehee! ^u^
CALLIOPE: who knows? perhaps whoever or whatever broUght the earth to my star also changed its rotation.
CALLIOPE: and also its magnetic poles, somehow?
 ROXY: i ain’t no geographist but i think thats how it works
ROXY: anyway u wanna invite me in or r we just chillin on ur doorstep? :3
 CALLIOPE: oh! right, of coUrse!

The meteor is such an odd place for you. It was home to your mom and Kanaya and the others for three years, so it should mean a lot, but to you it’s just... there. You’ve only really gotten to explore the place once, before you even knew that one of the rooms is going to become Calliope’s childhood respiteblock. To you, the room looks just the same as any other. A grey room, wall-to-wall desk on either side. But as you climb down the ladder, you can see Calliope frozen in place, just... staring.

CALLIOPE: it’s so empty...
CALLIOPE: and clean. o~o
CALLIOPE: oh, bUt my hUsktop is already here, it seems!
CALLIOPE: i wonder if...

She rushes to one of the computers, her suit’s frills bouncing adorably. Her hands settle comfortably onto the keys. She presses the spacebar, and a trollian window appears. She grins, clicking on a pink chumhandle and excitedly pointing her little talon at the window that pops up.

CALLIOPE: look! it’s yoU!
 ROXY: oh. em. gee
ROXY: is that lil baby rolal???
ROXY: omg its all of us as babies
ROXY: and john omg what
ROXY:
ROXY: what is he doing ._.
 CALLIOPE: singing, it appears.
CALLIOPE: i’ve never been sUre either.
 ROXY: that cute fuckin dork lol
ROXY: wait if this is what it defaults 2
ROXY: is this......
 CALLIOPE: the first i ever saw of any of yoU, yes.
CALLIOPE: it took me a long time to figUre how the timeline view worked.
CALLIOPE: when i did, i kept clicking aroUnd to see yoU all at varioUs points, piecing together an incredibly innacUrate story of yoUr lives.
CALLIOPE: one day, i finally worked Up the coUrage to message one of yoU, and...
CALLIOPE: well, i’m sUre yoU remember. ~_~;
 ROXY: omg i fucking doo
ROXY: i was like 15 and we were already like lowkey gearin up 2 play the game
ROXY: then u come in with ur long ass speech
 CALLIOPE: goodness, i spent ages writing that piece of rUbbish.
CALLIOPE: i still remember the whole thing. u_u;
 ROXY: howd it go again? :3c

You flutter your eyelashes innocently at her, egging her on. You honestly just want to know if she even remembers it all. It’s something you’ve only occasionally teased her about, though you’ve been teasing her a lot more since getting to see her blush in person. You can’t help it! She’s just cute!

She makes a resigned face and closes her eyes.

CALLIOPE: <sighs>
CALLIOPE: “be not afraid, lovely hUman!”
CALLIOPE: “this is an alien speaking!”
CALLIOPE: “i am a kind alien, who admires yoU more than yoU coUld possibly imagine.”
CALLIOPE: “i have watched yoUr entire, beaUtifUl life Unfold.”
CALLIOPE: “i have observed yoU, while yoU woUld share with others in small acts of kindness.”
CALLIOPE: “hide behind yoUr shroUd of darkness if it please yoU, bUt there is nothing from which to hide!”
CALLIOPE: “there are no invaders in store for yoU.”
CALLIOPE: “only my friendship. ^u^”
CALLIOPE: “a friendship so pUre and placid it shoUld pUt yoUr mind at ease to even contemplate.”
CALLIOPE: “it is a friendship that has foUnd yoU across space and time, and will sUrely lead Us into a new era of conversation.”
CALLIOPE: “it is my gift to yoU.”
CALLIOPE: “yoU’re welcome for that!”
CALLIOPE: “yoU fascinating creatUre.”
 ROXY: “hi UU!”

You snicker, and she laughs along with you, covering her face in embarrassment. Now that’s what you wanted to see, a cute lil blushing mess! You wrap an arm around her shoulder and rub.

CALLIOPE: and then i began cheering the lot of yoU backwards for awhile, to pUt off the embarrassment of talking to a version of any of yoU who knew aboUt my absUrd blUnder.
 ROXY: omg wait righttt i remember that now!!! every now n then id get a message from past u n it would be this whole whose on first shit til i was like wait are u still goin backwards
 CALLIOPE: indeed! yes, after that, i began my far more prodUctive habit of mostly-chronological cheers, bUt continUed to step on my own inverted toes.
 ROXY: gross
ROXY: anyway gettin those lil nuggets of early UU was always so fuckin yummy
ROXY: i ate that shit UP lmfao
ROXY: nomnomnom

You make eating noises at her face, and she giggles, responding with a single loud snap of her jaws. You bend down to rest your chin on her shoulder as she clicks through the timeline, recalling some of her favorite conversations with all of you. She talks about those early days like a story, and you can’t blame her - looking at your lives like this, it’s like perfect trash tv. Complete with the erratic drunk bitch in every other shot. It’s sort of embarrassing, knowing she never got to actually see you sober until she died, but it’s... also a bit nostalgic. There’s a lull in conversation as the two of you watch Jake tussling with some creature or other.

ROXY: man one day u GOTTA show me some of that embarrassing friend fiction
ROXY: i promise i wont tease u!!!
ROXY: ok actually i dont promise that
ROXY: i promise ill only tease u a liiiiil eensy weensy bit
 CALLIOPE: [no aUdible dialogUe.]
 ROXY: wuzzat?
ROXY: ...
ROXY: uhhhh earth c 2 callie?

Callie jumps, like she was in a trance.

CALLIOPE: oh, were yoU saying something?
CALLIOPE: sorry, i sUppose i spaced oUt a bit...
CALLIOPE: this fight is one of my favoUrites ~u~;
 ROXY: u silly lil fangirl u
ROXY: wait ok wtf ur right though jake is kickin major lusus BOOTY here

You continue to hold each other for a bit as you watch the fight, but she seems a bit distracted, a bit antsy. She waits for the Jake on the screen to finish slaying the creature, and then suddenly turns the computer off and hugs you, burying her face in your sternum, just above the neckline of your dress.

CALLIOPE: i still can’t believe yoU’re real.

You wrap your arms around and squeeze. Alright, Roxy, your girl just lobbed you a softball, time to hit it outta the park.

ROXY: real as anything, bbgirl.

Touchdown.





> Be Calliope.

You understand now why you didn’t see Roxy at all after your conversation yesterday - she’s set up FENESTRATED PLANES all over the bloody place. When the two of you were done at the meteor, she pulled out another window which led to a lovely spot in the middle of the woods, then led you on a long, pleasant walk to Rainbow Falls, where there was one last window waiting for you. This one led to a carnival all the way in the troll kingdom, which tells you Roxy definitely had some help placing these. Possibly from John or Jade, teleporting her about.

It's a lot of effort for little old you. It feels... good. You've been puzzling out the specifics of that feeling all day.

Roxy definitely had the right idea, saving the carnival for the end - a delightful burst of colours and sound to round out the day. String lights line the footpaths, illuminating all the little shops and games. Charming harlequins walk by on stilts, juggling bowling pins and such. A ferris wheel towers above, twinkling with lights as it traces its slow arc. There's clowns just like around, being all silly and such.

You eat this shit up.

Your matesprit-or-something leads you at first, but before long you're dragging her about, eager to see everything. You stop every few moments to try some carnival food, and each is an exciting new experience. Candyfloss, funnel cake, fried oreos, they just keep coming! You share with Roxy, of course, but she's still working on her cotton candy.

At one point, she stops you and pulls you to one of those knock-down-bottles games, manned by a very tired-looking human. The attendant gives Roxy five baseballs and she gives you a proud, confident look, puffing out her chest.

ROXY: see that bigass gator plush up there??
ROXY: ima win it 4 u
ROXY: a cuteass reptile 4 a cuteass reptile ;)
ROXY: check this shit
ROXY: ur abt 2 see the raw unfiltered power of SKILL

She then proceeds to miss all five shots.

ROXY: ....
 CALLIOPE: oh dear.
 ROXY: .......
 CALLIOPE: well, i appreciate the effort either way! ^u^

Just as you turn around to move on, you hear a clattering behind you. You and the sleepy attendant both look up to see the entire pyramid toppled. The attendant looks at the bottles, nods impressedly, and hands Roxy the alligator, which she quickly passes to you, grinning wildly.

ROXY: phew that was close!
ROXY: got it on shot 5 lol
 CALLIOPE: but yoU-
 ROXY: shhhhh ;) ;) ;)

The attendant doesn't seem to notice the perfectly generic object among the baseballs on the ground. But you do.

She cheated. She broke the rules of a game. This should upset you. You should be telling her to give it back and apologize, to the attendant and to you, for violating the sanctity of the game.

Instead, you grin and hug the ill-gotten gator tighter, blushing like mad.

You carry it with you as the two of you graduate from carnival games to carnival rides. She takes you to a carousel, where some sort of steam organ pipes a jaunty tune. You take a swan-shaped paddleboat across a small river, a whim away from kissing each other the whole time. You ride a “Spooky Haunted House Coaster!” and hold each other's hands, pretending to be scared by the cheesy ghosts and poorly-animatronized ghouls. Well, until one scare at the end, which does genuinely get you, a little bit. You guess.

You leave the ride and Roxy starts slowly leading you elsewhere. It's silent for a moment, and then...

ROXY: ....ok but like-
 CALLIOPE: don't yoU dare...!
 ROXY: ok but u gotta admit its kinda funny that
 CALLIOPE: not another word!! >:u
 ROXY: u of all ppl
 CALLIOPE: oh my god.
 ROXY: got scared by a skeleton
 CALLIOPE: it was peering over my shoUlder in the mirror!
CALLIOPE: i’m still a bit UnUsed to mirrors already!!!
 ROXY: LMAOO
ROXY: dw im just teasin
ROXY: smtimes smth just gets u
ROXY: no shame in it!
ROXY: except the 2 seconds of shame from me teasing u muahahaha
 CALLIOPE: yoU cad!
CALLIOPE: and here i thoUght yoU were trying to make me fall in love with yoU! umu
 ROXY: oh dont u worry ur cute lil green booty bbgrl!
ROXY: i still got a trick up my sleeve
ROXY: a 1000% guaranteed way 2 get u flushed n redrommed 4 me in no time ;*

You've been turning your feelings over in your head all night, and you think you know what to say to her. You almost feel like now is the right time, but she's already pulling you along to the ferris wheel, so you figure it can wait.

The seats are open-air, and while Roxy and your other flying friends have certainly flown you higher than this, it still somehow feels impressive. Roxy's arm is around your waist as you stare out at the lights, watching the carnival below slowly recede as the wheel lifts you up. You turn to her as you near the top of your arc. Her eyes sparkle as she stares at the sky, chewing on her black-painted lip.

CALLIOPE: roxy, today-

You're interrupted by a lurch as the ferris wheel suddenly stops, with the two of you you directly at its highest point. You glance around, noticing that its lights are out as well, as well as many of the lights on the ground.

CALLIOPE: is... a ferris wheel sUpposed to do this?
ROXY: just wait
ROXY: ur gonna love this
CALLIOPE: what do yoU-?
ROXY: shoosh!
CALLIOPE: ???????????

Your silent question is answered by a thunderous BOOM, as the sky is illuminated in pink and green. A fireworks display. For you.

You watch in rapt attention as rockets fill the sky in all different patterns. Pink and green are the most prominent colours, but void blue and bowtie red make their appearances too, and occasionally a rainbow. Many of the explosions form shapes - A pink cat, a caduceus. One particularly elaborate one begins as the Space symbol, then crackles as it fades into Void. You find yourself leaning up against Roxy as you stare at the show, feeling her pulse through the crook of her neck. Her heart is racing. So is yours.

CALLIOPE: ... it's beaUtifUl.
ROXY: im glad u think so this was like
ROXY: 99.9999% of yesterday lmfao
CALLIOPE: yoU really went thoUgh all the troUble, jUst for me?
ROXY: well yea
ROXY: i mean hell compared 2 stealing u from the void
ROXY: this was ezpz
ROXY: and totally worth it 4 that cute lil look on ur face!
ROXY: i care abt u a lot
ROXY: i love u, callie
ROXY: but u already knew that :)

You turn to watch the fireworks reflected in Roxy's eyes. You feel something bubbling up in your chest, something warm and sweet. The little speech you'd had prepared melts in your throat, sublimating into a single sentence.

CALLIOPE: i think... i love yoU, too.
ROXY: ok thank fuck cuz this next part would be crazy awks if u didn't

A pair of twin streaks rises from the ground. One pink with some blue, one green with some red, swirling around each other in a delightful double helix. As they reach the top of their shared ark, they explode into an enormous, bright-red heart, with a few smaller hearts following.

You barely even think before kissing her.