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Chapter Text

The problem with being beautiful? People never leave you alone.

Here in campus, it feels like every hallway is just another episode of “Who’s going to confess to Asta today?”

And trust me—it’s exhausting.

Like this morning, a varsity boy sprinted across the courtyard just to block my way. He was sweaty, out of breath, holding a crumpled letter na halatang pinrint niya five minutes before class.

“Astherielle, please go out with me!”

Classic. Weak delivery. I didn’t even slow down.

“No, thank you.”

Fast. Polite. Done.

He froze, stunned, like it was the first time someone dared to say no to him.

“B-but… why?”

I sighed. I should probably give him my usual spiel—“sorry, you’re not my type”—but let’s be real, no one ever gets it. So I just gave him my Miss Universe smile and said, “You’re not my type.”

And then I walked away, skirt swishing like a final exit.

Now, before you call me mean, let me explain: I just can’t like people who like me. The second it’s obvious that they do, it’s like my heart shuts down. No spark. Zero chance.

But there’s one person.

Just one.

Jaze Zianra Rivera.

Jazzi.

Student council president. Cold, quiet, terrifyingly gorgeous. She doesn’t smile, doesn’t entertain small talk, and when she looks at you? You immediately question your existence.

Which, obviously, makes her… my type.

“Hoy, Asta!” Lian—my best friend and part-time bouncer against suitors—caught up to me, iced coffee in hand. “You rejected someone again, didn’t you?”

I tilted my head, innocent. “Reject? No naman. I just… redirected him to better options.”

“Better options? Girl, para kang walking heartbreak.” She rolled her eyes. “Paasa, tapos biglang cutoff.”

“I’m not paasa,” I defended. “I’m just direct. No false hope. May nakita ka bang nilalandi ko?” I rolled my eyes.

“Uh-huh, sure. Then sino ba talagang gusto mo?”

I didn’t answer. I never do. Pero my traitor eyes had other plans—they drifted toward the student council office window.

And there she was.

Jazzi. Hair pulled into a loose ponytail, head bent over a pile of papers, like she was running a country instead of a student org. Her whole aura screamed untouchable, unbothered, and absolutely off-limits.

My heart did the annoying skip thing again.

“Oh no,” Lian groaned when she followed my gaze. “Not her. Again.”

I clasped my hands dramatically. “Yes. Her.”

“She hates people. Including you.”

“Exactly,” I said, grinning like I’d just uncovered a life truth. “That’s why she’s perfect.”

Before Lian could launch into a lecture, Jazzi suddenly looked up.

And right into my eyes.

I froze. Time stopped. Background music swelled.

She stared. Blank. Cold. And then—slowly, deliberately—she rolled her eyes before returning to her papers.

Lian buried her face in her hands. “Asta, she literally just eye-rolled at you.”

I sighed, starry-eyed. “So beautiful.”

“Ang gaga.”

But honestly? One eye-roll from Jazzi is worth more than three love letters in a day. Because somehow, trouble is exactly my type.

Chapter Text

“Ms. Abueva?” Agad akong napalingon sa harap nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko. The sharp sound of my surname slicing through the silence of my wandering thoughts. “Puro ganda ka na lang ba d’yan?”

“Po?” I blinked, pretending I didn’t hear the teasing lilt behind the words.

Truth is, kahit nakatulala ako, I was still half-listening to the lecture. My brain just drifted somewhere else—specifically, sa ulam na kakainin ko mamaya. Since Lian and I were staying in the dorms, we had no one else to rely on but ourselves. Walang home-cooked meals, walang sasalubong. Just instant noodles, canned goods, and whatever we could scrape from our shrinking allowance.

And today? Malapit na itong tuluyang maubos. End of the month na rin kasi, kaya kailangan ko na namang humingi ulit sa magulang ko. Kung hindi lang ako scholar dito, I wouldn’t even be studying at this prestigious university. And if I wasn’t, people might actually believe na puro ganda lang nga ako. A pretty face with no substance.

“Since you’re spacing out—how do you reconcile sustainability with luxury? No textbook answer.”

My professor’s voice yanked me back into the present. He made me stand, his hands slipping casually into his pockets as he leaned back, waiting. Testing me.

“True luxury lasts, sir. Anything timeless is already sustainable.” I said flatly. Short. Simple. Sapat na ‘yon, di ba?

Apparently not.

Because my not-so-favorite professor chuckled, the kind of laugh na hindi dahil natuwa siya, but because he found my answer laughable. He was the type of professor who thrived on verbosity. Kahit obvious na puwede naman sagutin ng isang sentence, gusto niya may kasamang essay, a layered explanation—kahit pa wala naman siyang balak pakinggan nang buo.

“That’s it? That’s your grand answer?” he prodded, and the class erupted into snickers.

Mostly girls. As always, they took every opportunity to laugh whenever I stumbled—even if it was just imagined stumbling. They knew this professor had an unexplainable dislike for me. Maybe because I drew too much attention? Maybe because I was a little too polished for his liking? I couldn’t help it. Maganda talaga ako.

“Yes, sir.” I forced a polite smile, then inhaled deeply—almost theatrically—before speaking again. This time, I gave him what he wanted.

“Because sustainability is not just about recycled fabrics or ethical sourcing—it’s about creating value that transcends seasons. If luxury is exclusivity, then the rarest form of it is longevity. When a garment survives trends, generations, and remains desirable—that’s the purest intersection of sustainability and luxury.”

Silence fell over the room. For once, lahat sila napatigil. Their stares were fixed on me, wide-eyed, as if they couldn’t reconcile the fact that those words came out of my mouth. It was the first time I ever indulged him with an answer like that. Normally, I’d let his digs pass, but not this time.

Because this time, someone was watching.

“Mr. Mariano.” A soft knock echoed from the open door, followed by the clear, steady voice that had the power to make my chest tighten.

That’s why I didn’t just sit down like usual. Because she was there. She was looking at me. And if Jazzi Rivera was watching, I had no choice but to rise to the occasion.

“Sit down, Ms. Abueva.” Our professor dismissed me and turned toward her. “What is this, Ms. President?”

“The student council is organizing a clothing drive—pero hindi lang po basta donation. We’re planning to upcycle the clothes first before giving them to partner communities.” Jazzi explained, her tone calm and authoritative.

“Upcycling, huh? So you want the recipients to feel they’re getting something new, not just old hand-me-downs.”

“Exactly, sir. Kasi po, fashion has power to restore dignity. Even donated clothes can look fresh if students rework them—like adjusting fits, adding embellishments, or repairing damages. I think it’ll make people feel seen, not pitied.”

Her delivery was seamless, straightforward, almost clinical in its precision. And yet, I couldn’t stop the smile tugging at my lips.

That’s my girl, I thought bitterly. Except—she wasn’t my girl. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But God, how I wished.

Our professor nodded, visibly impressed. Of course he was. Every professor liked Jazzi Rivera. She wasn’t just a star student—she came from a well-known, influential family. Her parents’ names carried weight in this institution. Add her brilliance to that pedigree, and you get a girl like her: untouchable, magnetic, perfect.

“Not bad, Rivera. You’re merging social responsibility with design practice. That’s very aligned with our course.”

“Thank you, sir. Actually, I wanted to ask if you know someone who could help us. Maybe alumni or contacts from the industry who’d be willing to sponsor fabric scraps, sewing machines, or even volunteer with us?”

Instantly, several hands shot up around the room. Predictable. Everyone wanted to be noticed by her, to ride the gravity of her attention. Pero kahit na halos sabay-sabay silang nagsitaas ng kamay, Jazzi didn’t even glance at them. Her gaze remained fixed on Mr. Mariano, as though the rest of us were invisible.

“I have an outstanding student who can help you, but depende pa rin sa ’yo if you want her on your team.” The professor chuckled, eyes flicking in my direction.

Jazzi only nodded. No smile. No flicker of acknowledgment. Parang walang reaction. Hindi naman chopped lips niya para hindi siya makangiti, so why did she look so indifferent?

“Anyone, Sir.”

“Ms. Abueva.”

My head jerked up, eyes widening.

“Except her.”

The words landed like a slap, ringing in my ears. My stomach twisted, heat creeping up my neck.

What the fuck?

Chapter Text

“Sige nga, sinong hindi mapipikon?” I ranted to Lian the moment we got to the cafeteria, slamming my tray down a little harder than necessary. My voice was low but full of frustration, like steam trying to escape a boiling kettle. “I am this close to working with her but she rejected it. Takot ba siyang mainlove sa akin?” I said, narrowing my eyes in exaggerated drama.

Lian almost choked on her food, coughing and grabbing her water while glaring at me.

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “But anyways, she knows me. I should be thankful for that.” I said nonchalantly and shoved another spoonful of rice into my mouth.

“Everyone knows you, Asta.” Lian rolled her eyes so hard I swore she saw her brain. “And until now, hindi ko pa rin gets kung anong nakita mo diyan kay Jazzi.”

I tilted my head and gave her my sweetest, most annoyingly saccharine smile. “Maybe you should open your eyes, so you can see what I see.”

Lian didn’t answer after that. She knew better. Because the moment she pushed back, our entire meal would spiral into another one-hour debate on why Jazzi Rivera was worth my time—and why she wasn’t. Alam niyang I could go on and on, like a broken record obsessed with one song. She hated it. She hated Jazzi’s name even more.

But I couldn’t really blame her. Not many people actually liked Jazzi. Not in the way I did, at least. Sure, they respected her, wanted to be in her orbit, to be in her good graces. Pero romantically? Halos wala. Maybe that’s why Jazzi turned out the way she did—cold, untouchable, distanced from everyone. Or maybe she was just born like that.

When I first entered this university, kilala na siya. Even back when she was still in the SHS department, she already carried herself like someone untouchable. I didn’t care about her then. I was too busy with my own world, going with the flow, rolling my eyes whenever people worshiped my name. At that time, my delusional self thought, if Jazzi was a guy and she saw me, for sure she’d confess to me.

Sobrang ka-fantard-an ko noon. But could you blame me? Students from different departments were lining up to court me, trying their luck, throwing flowers, letters, chocolates my way. And katulad ng lagi kong sinasabi—I wasn’t into people who liked me. That was boring. I wanted someone who couldn’t care less. Someone who wouldn’t fall at my feet.

And then Jazzi happened.

She was cold. She was distant. She only spoke when it was about student council matters or academics. No small talk, no wasted words. That’s when it hit me: She’s my type.

Siguro, for me, magiging achievement na kapag naging girlfriend ko siya. At least I didn’t have to worry kung homophobic siya or not—she had two moms after all.

“Asta.”

I froze mid-bite when I heard someone call my name from behind. My heart skipped, my hand tightening on my tray. For a split second, I thought—no, hoped—it was her. But no.

It was Gene.

The student council vice president. Practically Jazzi’s shadow. The one person I actively avoided, even if being near her meant being close to Jazzi. Because unlike Jazzi—who simply ignored you when she disliked you—Gene had claws. She would humiliate you. Crush you without remorse. Or maybe laugh at you. Nakakatakot siyang tao.

“Come with me.” she muttered flatly.

I shook my head so fast you’d think I was dodging a bullet. “Ang sakit ng puson ko, shet,” I winced dramatically. “Lian, may pads ka pa?”

Lian didn’t even look at me. “None.” She kept eating, zero sympathy. Classic Lian. She was a good friend, sure, but the moment food was involved? Forget it.

“I have one. Come with me.” Gene’s tone left no room for argument.

With a sigh, I dropped my spoon and fork, stomping like a child throwing a tantrum. I didn’t care if people stared. Let them watch.

As we walked down the hallway, Gene glanced at me. “You’re still mad because of the rumors?”

My blood instantly boiled. That was the first time I learned how much I could despise her. Kasi she never denied it—that stupid rumor that I liked her, that the reason I didn’t date guys was because she was the one I wanted.

But the truth? I wasn’t looking at her. I was looking through the student council window. At Jazzi.

And instead of correcting anyone, Gene just laughed whenever people teased us. As if my humiliation was her entertainment. Kahit todo-deny ako, walang naniwala. And eventually, that rumor reached Jazzi.

The very first time she really looked at me—was with irritation. Disgust, even. From that day on, no matter what I did, she hated me.

“Hindi.” I snapped, rolling my eyes.

Gene just chuckled, opening the door to the student council office. Only then did it sink in. Wait. What the hell am I doing here?

“She’s here.” Gene announced.

Inside, Cai—the secretary—and Mau—the finance head—looked up. I turned instinctively toward Jazzi, who was glued to her computer screen, the soft glow reflecting off her impossibly calm face. My cheeks burned instantly. Every time I saw her up close, my body betrayed me, flushing red like I was caught stealing glances at an angel.

“Totoo nga.” Mau laughed, Cai joining in as they both looked at me knowingly.

So this was it. Pinatawag lang ba nila ako rito para i-bully?

“How many confessed to you today, Ms. Abueva?” Cai teased, standing up and sauntering toward me.

“Isa.” I rolled my eyes.

“I told you, she’s really beautiful up close,” Mau grinned. “Jazzi’s busy pa. You can sit muna sa couch.”

I frowned. “Ano bang meron?”

“We’re doing a clothing drive. For sure narinig mo na,” Cai explained. “And most professors from your department recommended you to join our program. So…?”

“Pumayag ka na,” Mau added playfully. “Pumayag na nga ’yung isa oh.”

My head whipped to Jazzi. Wait. Akala ko ba ayaw niya? What if I refused? Would she chase after me? Would she look for someone else? Would I lose my chance entirely?

“Ako lang ba?” I asked carefully.

“Marami pa. But the one who’s going to lead is you.” Gene’s voice cut in, smug. “Sige na, Asta. Promise, after this sasabihin ko na na hindi talaga kita naging girlfriend.”

Everything stilled. Even Jazzi stopped typing. The air in the room grew heavy, all of us orbiting her without meaning to.

Then, just like that, she stood. “I have a family dinner. I have to go.” She grabbed her bag, slipped it over her shoulder, and walked out. No explanation. No goodbye. Just… gone.

The door clicked shut behind her, and I found myself staring at it, my heart clenching. “How can you guys stay with Jazzi most of the time and still not fall for her?” I asked softly, almost to myself.

They burst out laughing.

“Asta, can you hear yourself?” Cai chuckled, shaking her head. “Ikaw lang ata may gusto kay Jazzi. Sa ugali niyang ’yan?”

“What’s wrong with her?” I asked defensively.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” Mau countered, and the room filled with laughter again.

I rolled my eyes, but a small smile tugged at my lips. Well, that’s fine. At least wala akong kaagaw.

At least she was all mine—to chase, to admire, to dream of.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Anong dala mo?” Lian asked as soon as I entered the dorm, eyeing the oversized paper bag I was struggling with.

I dropped it on the table with a dramatic sigh. The bag was filled with clothes that I apparently had to style, repair, and basically resurrect from the dead. Akala ko kasi madali lang ‘to—like, you know, quick sewing here and there while I got to enjoy the view of Jazzi from across the room. Pero hindi pala. Plot twist: wala si Jazzi sa picture. Just me, some random pile of shirts, and the endless thread of suffering.

“Para sa outreach.” I mumbled, rubbing my sore arm. “Nagluto ka na ba? Or mag-order na lang tayo?”

Lian raised her brow, crossing her arms. “Order? May pera ka pa ba?”

“None,” I admitted with zero shame. “But Gene offered na papadalhan niya ako ng food once matapos ko ‘tong mga gagawin.” I muttered while unlocking my phone, already about to type Gene a desperate SOS about what I wanted to eat.

Lian tilted her head, eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Are you sure you and Gene don’t have a past?”

Napalingon ako agad. Wow. Coming from my bestie? The betrayal. This girl has been with me since we started schooling here. Dapat siya ang unang may tiwala.

“Fine, fine. Sorry,” Lian chuckled, holding up her hands in surrender. “I was just making sure. Kasi, hello? This is not exactly something the student council vice president should be doing.”

I rolled my eyes so hard, baka magka-muscle strain ako. “Gene and I were just acquainted. Hindi ko nga alam saan nila nakuha ‘yung rumor na ‘yon.” And with that, I marched straight to the bathroom to take a shower, making a dramatic exit.

For sure, matagal pa bago dumating ang delivery.

After showering, I pulled the bag closer and started inspecting the clothes. The council had actually provided a complete set of materials—scissors, needles, threads, even some patches. Manpower na lang talaga ang kailangan. It was like a DIY fashion reality show, only without the cameras and applause.

My phone buzzed.
“Labas. Nand’yan na ‘yung food.”

Excited, I grabbed my slippers and dashed outside. But when I looked around—wala. No motorcycle parked near the gate. Just a sleek car parked nearby.

Imposible namang nakakotse pa ‘yung rider. Ang sosyal naman ng delivery kung ganon.

I was about to turn back inside when the car door suddenly opened. And out stepped Jazzi Rivera.

I froze. Literally froze. Like someone hit pause on my entire system. What the actual—?

“Astherielle Abueva?” she called, her voice crisp.

My brain scrambled for words. And of all the possible things I could’ve said, ang lumabas pa ay—

“Delivery rider ka sa gabi?”

…Yeah. Genius. Absolute Einstein moment.

Seriously, why would she even work part time when her family practically breathed success? One parent owned an architectural firm, the other was a famous post-production supervisor. Meanwhile ako? I couldn’t even afford takeout without begging favors.

“Gene asked me to give you these.” She handed me the paper bag—without missing a beat, without answering my nonsense—and then turned on her heel to head back to her car.

Wala man lang second glance. Wala man lang kahit maliit na smile. Sungit talaga. Pero okay lang. At least kinausap niya ako. That was already a win in my book.

I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted after her, grinning like an idiot,
“Ingat ka, love! Thanks sa food!”

Of course, as expected, she didn’t acknowledge me. She simply started her engine and drove away, cool as ever.

“Sino ’yon?” a voice said behind me.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Bwisit ka! Papatayin mo ba ako sa gulat?”

Lian was standing there with a smug grin. “Hoy, babae. Ang ingay ko nga maglakad. Sadyang hindi mo lang ako narinig kasi busy ka d’yan sa delivery rider fantasy mo.”

I chuckled, still staring dreamily at the road Jazzi’s car had taken. “That was my girlfriend. Don’t mind me.”

Lian snorted. “Shuta. Alam ba niya na girlfriend ka niya?”

“She’ll realize that soon,” I said with a confident wink.

Lian shook her head, clearly done with me. “Lala mo na ’te. Inom ka na ng gamot.”

Chapter Text

Early in the morning, I dragged myself out of the dorm kahit wala pa naman akong klase until later in the afternoon. Hindi ko rin alam bakit pumayag akong ako ang mag-deliver ng clothes sa student council office, pero andito na rin ako. At least, dorm lang ang tinitirhan ko ngayon—if I were still commuting from home, baka kanina pa ako nagrereklamo kay Gene na impossible ‘tong request nila.

The hallway was still quiet, ‘yung tipong ramdam mo pa ang antok ng buong campus. Even the janitors looked half-asleep while sweeping the floors. Ako naman, hawak-hawak ang malaking eco bag na punong-puno ng neatly folded clothes.

Pagpasok ko, Cai immediately stood up, her curiosity winning over her composure. “Let me see.” She pulled the bag closer and opened it.

The moment the clothes were revealed, halos sabay-sabay silang lahat na napatingin. Their eyes widened like I had just pulled out treasure from a chest. Aesthetically folded, freshly pressed, and somehow they all looked brand new kahit galing lang sa donation drive.

“Wow,” Cai breathed. "You did this nang isang gabi lang?"

Gene turned to me, her face glowing with this look of pride. Para bang gusto niyang sabihing “See? I told you she could handle it.”

“Nasaan si Jazzi?” I asked, curious why the SC president herself wasn’t here.

“Nandito na ‘yon maya-maya. May dinaanan lang daw siya saglit,” Mau explained casually.

I nodded, accepting the answer. “Bibili lang ako ng coffee sa vending machine, may gusto kayo?”

“We’re fine. Go ahead.” Gene motioned for me to leave, her hand flicking gracefully as if dismissing a servant.

I chuckled and turned towards the door, already picturing the warm cup of coffee I would hold. Pero bago pa ako makalabas, the knob twisted from the other side at the exact same time I touched it.

And then—

Jazzi entered, and I almost lost my balance. She was stronger than I expected, kaya ako pa ang muntik na mapasandal sa kanya. For a split second, I smelled her perfume—sharp, cold, like fresh rain against metal.

“Sorry—I mean hi—I mean sorry again—do you believe in fate?”

The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. ANO RAW?!

I SWEAR. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ko. Pero one thing was for sure—I was definitely going to flirt with this ice cold president until she finally gave in.

“No. Back off.”

Her voice was cool, firm, at hindi man lang nag-alangan. She slightly pushed me aside, just enough to pass through and head straight to her desk.

I stood frozen, following her with my eyes. Kitang-kita ko pa kung paano pigilan ng tatlo—Cai, Mau, and Gene—ang mga tawa nila. Mga epal talaga.

My lips tugged into a grin despite myself. I bit my lower lip, trying hard to hide it.

Hinawakan niya ako! Well, technically she pushed me, but it was still contact. Physical contact counts, okay? What if… what if she likes me too? Baka nahihiya lang siya kaya todo iwas.

Hehe. Cute.

“Astherielle!” A voice called from behind, breaking me out of my little delulu daydream about Jazzi.

Napalingon ako and there he was—Mike. Lian’s brother. Well, technically half-brother.

Nobody really knew that detail though, kasi hindi naman sila same surname, and honestly, ayaw na ayaw rin ni Lian na ipaalam sa kahit sino. And I understood why. Mike was famous. Campus celebrity type. Everywhere he went, people stared. Lian already had more than enough attention just for being with me; dagdagan pa ng fact na kuya niya si Mike? Disaster.

“I heard kasali ka sa clothing drive etc program?” he asked casually as he fell into step beside me.

“Yeah. Just finished my job though,” I shrugged, trying to keep it light.

Mike gave a small smile and nodded, like my simple answer was enough to satisfy him. He didn’t leave though. Instead, he matched my pace, walking with me down the hallway.

Honestly? The reason I could never outright reject Mike, kahit obvious naman na he liked me, was simple: he never admitted it. Hindi siya umaamin. And I had a rule—I would never reject someone unless they confessed. Ayoko maging assuming. Pero sa case ni Mike, ang hirap. I wanted him out of my sight sometimes, lalo na’t ako ang nagiging kawawa sa mga babae niya.

Yes, him. The very reason why most girls on campus hated me. Hindi dahil sa ginawa ko—pero dahil Mike never looked at them the way he looked at me.

Bakit ba kasi ganito ‘to? Lagi ko na lang iniisip na baka dahil I was Lian’s only real friend, kaya he treated me differently. Protective, maybe. Pero minsan sobra na rin. His attention could be suffocating.

“Sasama rin ako sa mismong outreach,” Mike said, breaking the silence. “I guess I’ll just see you there?”

“Yeah. See you.” I gave him a nod as we reached the vending machine.

I quickly pressed the caramel button, excited for caffeine.

Mike, on the other hand, just smiled again—like he always did—then finally walked away. Thank God.

At least hinatid niya lang talaga ako hanggang sa vending machine. Walang big drama, walang dagdag na lingering presence. Buti na lang.

Kasi kung may makakita na naman sa amin na magkasama? Ako na naman ang target ng rumors. Palagi na lang. Laging may mga mata na sumusunod.

The only thing that saved me every time was the fact that Mike was honest whenever asked. He always told people na we weren’t together. Unlike some guys out there na gusto pang gawing “secret fling” ang pangalan ko, Mike was clear: we’re not a thing. At least he did that much.

I grabbed the coffee cup from the dispenser, warmth seeping into my hands. Slowly, I let out a sigh of relief, letting the caffeine promise me energy.

Coffee in hand, I started walking back to the student council office, reminding myself: Meeting for the heads. Focus. Don’t think about Jazzi. Don’t think about fate. Don’t think about—

Yeah, too late.

By the time I got back to the student council office, the meeting was already starting. The atmosphere inside shifted from casual chatter to that low hum of focus you only feel in student council gatherings.

Gene stood in front, papers in hand, her presence naturally commanding the room. She began discussing the outline of the program—paano magiging flow ng mismong program, ano ang mga materials na kailangan, at kung sino ang assigned sa bawat task. Her voice was calm but firm, and everyone listened like she was untouchable authority.

Meanwhile, Jazzi sat a few seats away, her posture straight and composed. She wasn’t speaking, wasn’t moving, wasn’t even fidgeting. Just listening. Just… staring.

At kay Gene pa talaga siya nakatingin.

Like, hello? Gene, how are you not melting? If those sharp eyes landed on me like that, baka kanina pa ako nagpropose.

I forced myself to take notes kahit wala namang masyadong kelangan isulat. Mas distracted lang kasi nakatingin lang ako kay Jazzi the entire time.

“And that’s it,” Gene finally concluded, placing her papers down. “Any questions?”

Everyone shook their heads, content with the clarity of the instructions.

“Good. Meeting adjourned.”

There was a sudden rustle as chairs scraped the floor and people stood.

“May pasok ako, mauuna na ako,” Mau said as she grabbed her blazer, slipping into it quickly.

“Sabay na ako.” Cai followed right after, fixing her bag as if she was late for something urgent.

Gene lingered, collecting her materials neatly. She glanced at me. “Ikaw? Wala kang pasok?”

I shook my head. “Mamayang hapon pa.”

She nodded in approval, gave my shoulder a reassuring pat, and finally walked out.

And just like that—solo ko na ang asawa ko.

Well, hindi niya pa alam na asawa ko siya, but soon she would. Manifesting is real, people.

The silence that followed after everyone left was deafening. Ang bigat ng hangin, parang lumamig lalo ang buong office. Maybe it was the air conditioning, or maybe it was Jazzi herself. This girl radiates winter vibes kahit walang snow.

I hugged myself slightly. Hindi naman ako lamigin usually, but right now, my body betrayed me. Nagshiver ako. Great. And to make matters worse, naiwan ko pa ang blazer ko sa dorm.

I glanced at Jazzi. Wala man lang siyang suot na blazer, but she looked perfectly fine. As if cold never even touched her. Sanay na sanay. Maybe she was born inside a freezer.

I bit my lip and tried to distract myself. Maybe I could grab a cloth from the bag of clothes? But no, it was already locked, sealed tightly so nothing would spill out.

Kung lalabas naman ako para lang magpainit, baka magmukha akong tanga. Standing guard outside the SC office like some random security guard in heels? Pass.

My body shivered again. Hindi ko na kaya. I need to leave my wife behind. Just one more minute, tapos alis na ako.

I closed my eyes and began counting slowly, trying to ground myself. One… two… three—

Before I could even reach ten, something soft fell against my face.

Fabric. Warm. Comforting. And—mygod—the smell. Fresh, clean, with just a hint of something expensive.

I pulled it down and looked.

Jazzi didn’t glance at me. She was at her computer, eyes glued to the screen, fingers tapping lazily on the keyboard.

But her blazer was no longer on her chair. It was on me.

“Thanks,” I muttered, voice quiet, my smile trying but failing to hide itself.

Lord, ito na ba ‘yon? Sign na ba ‘to? Gusto niya na rin ba ako?

“Can you just put it on?” Jazzi finally spoke, her tone sharp but not cruel. “You’re shivering. It’s distracting.”

I nodded quickly, slipping her blazer over my shoulders. Ang bango. Ang init.

But still—I made a mental note: I’ll wash this thoroughly bago ko ibalik. Baka mamaya mag-inarte siya na may amoy ko na, and she’d refuse to take it back.

Time passed slowly until the clock struck noon. I stood, deciding to join Lian for lunch at the cafeteria.

I hesitated with her blazer still on me. Should I return it now or later?

“Where are you going?” Jazzi’s voice cut through the silence.

“Kakain. Sama ka?” I asked, half-joking, half-hoping. I grinned at her, expecting rejection.

Of course, she wouldn’t. She basically lived in this office.

“Let’s go.” She stood up.

My jaw dropped. “Huh?”

“Are we going to eat or not?”

I blinked. Sasama siya? With me? Para sa akin?

I was still processing when the door opened.

“Jazzi! Tara!” Mau called from outside.

“Coming.” Jazzi muttered, then turned toward me.

Her hands reached for me. My heart instantly went berserk.

IS THIS IT? Was she about to—kiss me? In broad daylight? In the SC office? Lord, wait lang, hindi pa ako ready!

I closed my eyes tight, bracing myself.

But all she did was take her blazer off my shoulders.

“Crazy.” She rolled her eyes as she pulled it back, her tone laced with that signature coldness.

My heart pounded so loud it was humiliating. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha ko. Pero swear, kahit nakakahiya… I wanted her to do that again.

Chapter Text

"Akala ko ba Jazzi hates everyone?" I asked, leaning back on my chair while subtly glancing at her from the corner of the cafeteria. Hindi naman obvious, but my eyes kept flicking toward her table like I couldn’t help it.

She was sitting with Mau, Cai, and Gene sa hindi kalayuang table. Usually I’d spot the three together, laughing about random things habang kumakain, but never with Jazzi. This was the first time I’d seen her eat with them, kaya siguro napakunot talaga noo ko. Jazzi was always that untouchable type—parang may invisible wall sa paligid niya. Seeing her with company? Weirdly out of character.

"It's Mau's birthday today kaya ganyan." Lian answered casually, stabbing her fork into a piece of meat before shoving it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, like she wasn’t really interested in the conversation. "She's been with them since last year, remember? Ang pangit naman kung hindi siya sasama sa celebration."

I hummed, resting my chin on my palm. “Don’t you think Gene should be the president? I mean, siya ‘yung third year. That feels… more fitting.”

Lian’s eyes rolled so hard I almost heard them. "You know the reason why I hate Jazzi so much?"

My brows arched. "Hm?"

"She’s a nepo baby." Lian’s tone dripped with distaste, and she didn’t even bother lowering her voice. "She gets anything that she wants nang hindi nahihirapan. The attention, the position, the money. Everything is laid out for her like some all-access buffet. Nakakainis, right?" She sighed dramatically, setting her fork down for emphasis. "I doubt mapapalitan ang president hangga’t nandito siya. Para bang untouchable ang throne niya."

"But she was doing great, Lian," I countered, a teasing smile creeping onto my lips. I wiggled my brows at her just to provoke a reaction.

Her groan was immediate. "Sana talaga i-crushback ka na niya para tigilan mo na siya." She shook her head, frustrated but clearly used to my antics.

Well, that wouldn’t work on Jazzi. The thing is, if she actually liked me back, I wouldn’t stop. I’d probably like her even more. Mas nakakaadik kasi ‘yung challenge kapag may reciprocation—parang gasolina sa apoy.

Lian and I both went back to focusing on our food, the clinking of utensils filling the lull in our conversation. But then, from the corner of my eye, I noticed Cai making her way toward us. She slid into the seat right beside Lian as if she belonged there.

Napataas agad ang kilay ko. Was she seriously here to flirt with my best friend? Of all the people in the cafeteria, dito pa talaga siya tatabi?

"What are you doing here?" I asked sharply, glaring at her like she was some kind of intruder.

Lian, on the other hand, didn’t even flinch. She was too focused on cutting her food into perfect little pieces. Wala na siyang pake sa mga tao sa paligid niya—very typical of her.

Cai’s smile, however, was calm, almost rehearsed. "Mau invited you two sa party mamaya," she said lightly, as if she hadn’t just walked into enemy territory.

"Hindi ako pwede, may quiz ako tomorrow," Lian said flatly, shaking her head without even sparing Cai a glance. She reached across my plate and shamelessly stole a piece of meat, chewing it with zero guilt.

Typical.

"Jazzi will be there," Cai added, like it was some kind of secret weapon she had been saving for last.

And… well, it worked.

"Sasama kami," I muttered almost instantly, not even thinking twice.

For the first time in forever, Lian’s fork froze midair. She turned to me slowly, eyes narrowing like she was trying to process kung tama ba ‘yung narinig niya. Her brows furrowed in confusion, tilting her head as if I had just announced something insane.

"Sasama ka," I repeated, this time with finality. No room for negotiation.

"No." She refused just as firmly, pushing Cai away a little so she could sit properly without the intrusion. "Unlike you, I actually need to study to pass my quizzes. 1GB lang utak ko, Asta. Huwag mo akong igaya sa mga tulad ninyong 1TB."

I clasped my hands together dramatically, leaning closer with my best pair of pleading eyes. "Please?" I blinked a couple of times, adding just the right amount of puppy-dog effect.

Cai cleared her throat, obviously uncomfortable with the scene unfolding in front of her. She shifted in her seat and avoided eye contact, as if embarrassed for me. Well, bahala siya. Best friend ko naman ‘to, so I’ll act cute whenever I want.

"You know you can’t charm your way into things using that," Lian deadpanned, shaking her head. "Don’t worry, kapag na-late ka ng uwi, just message me. I’ll open the door for you. That’s the least thing I can do."

“See you then?” Cai asked, choosing to ignore the awkwardness.

I nodded, and she finally left to return to their table. Naturally, my gaze followed her, or rather, the people she was going back to.

There she was again—Jazzi.

She sat in her usual quiet demeanor, fork moving methodically as she ate, while Mau, Cai, and Gene carried most of the conversation. Even though she was with them, she barely spoke a word. It wasn’t like she was shy, either. It was more like… she simply didn’t feel the need to say anything at all.

Hindi naman mabaho hininga niya, so bakit ayaw niyang magsalita? Ang mahal ba ng words niya to the point na sayang i-waste sa amin?

And then, as if sensing my stare, Jazzi suddenly looked up.

Our eyes met.

The cafeteria noise seemed to fade for a moment, replaced by the sharp, almost electric awareness that passed between us. She didn’t look away. Neither did I. My heart thudded, heavy but quick, while my mind raced with smug conclusions.

Then her gaze flicked downward—straight to my lips.

See? Sabi ko na nga ba. This girl could never resist me. Ako na ‘to oh.

"Asta."

I blinked, broken out of the trance when Lian called my name.

"Bakit?" I asked, irritated that she interrupted.

She tossed a tissue across the table. "Wipe the sauce sa gilid ng lips mo."

I froze.

"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi?!" I exclaimed, dabbing at the spot frantically.

"Malay ko ba, ngayon ko lang nakita," Lian said nonchalantly, already returning to her food.

NAKAKAINIS NAMAN. So, Jazzi wasn’t looking at me because she was mesmerized? Hindi dahil hindi niya kayang i-resist ang charm ko? SHE WAS JUST STARING AT THE DAMN SAUCE ON MY FACE?!

What the hell.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

"7PM sharp. Susunduin kita."

That was Cai's message after sending me Mau's address. I kept rereading it, like the words would change if I blinked enough. Until now, I couldn’t fully process the fact that I would actually be going to a party… with Jazzi.

Well, I’ve been to countless parties before — people always invited me, sometimes even dragged me along — pero never ko pang nakita si Jazzi sa kahit isa. For sure, she hated the crowd. She hated people, remember? And honestly, stepping into a party for her would feel like choosing death by slow torture.

"Ano bang motif?" Lian asked, narrowing her eyes at me while I fussed with my dress. "Ang sexy naman ng suot mo, hindi ka kaya mabastos doon?"

I smirked, tugging the hem lower. "Wala naman siguro. I’ll stay with Gene and Cai. And for sure, Mau will be busy entertaining her guests."

"Siguraduhin mo lang, Asta. Maraming tao, maraming may gusto sa’yo. Ingat ka," Lian muttered, her tone slipping into that of a nagging mom before she went back to pretending her book was more interesting than me.

When Cai messaged me again, I impulsively kissed Lian’s head before bolting out of the room — partly excited, partly scared she’d throw something at me for being so giggly.

Outside, there was a car waiting. But it wasn’t Cai’s. I knew her car model by heart, and this wasn’t it.

"This is Jazzi’s," I whispered to myself, knocking lightly.

The window rolled down, and there she was — Jazzi, sitting on the driver’s seat like she owned the world. Cai was in the back, grinning. Did she seriously save the shotgun seat para maging passenger princess ako ni Jazzi?

I reached for the handle, but then click. The door locked. My brows instantly furrowed. Ano ’to, gusto niya bang pumasok ako sa bintana?

"Dito ka sa likod," Cai chuckled, clearly enjoying my annoyance.

I pouted but complied, sliding into the back beside her. And just like that, Jazzi looked like our private driver. Pwede naman talaga ako sa shotgun, e. Ang ganda pa naman ng fit ko ngayon.

"Jazzi will never let anyone sit on the passenger seat. Not even Gene or Mau," Cai explained, as if anticipating my glare.

"Bakit?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Cai only shrugged, gaze drifting outside. Typical. My guess? It was just another one of Jazzi’s many quirks — allergic na naman siya sa tao.

When we finally arrived at the party, the place was buzzing. Athletes, students, familiar faces — halatang Mau was popular; the crowd was proof enough.

"Asta is here," someone whispered loud enough for me to catch. Napabuntong-hininga ako. Great. Exactly what I didn’t want. I hoped I wouldn’t steal attention from Mau, kasi nakakahiya naman.

"I’ll look for Mau, dito muna kayo," Cai said, leaving me and Jazzi at a table.

So there we were — sitting across each other, silence thick between us. She was busy scanning the crowd, clearly plotting her escape route. I knew it. She only came here for Mau, and the second she could vanish, she would.

"Doon ata garden nila," I pointed toward the archway lit with fairy lights.

"I didn’t ask," she deadpanned.

"Well, it looks like you’re already searching for a hiding place. I’m just giving you options," I shot back with a smirk.

"That’s too secluded."

"Why? Afraid of ghosts?" I teased.

"I’m afraid of people. Probably there’s already a couple in there." She rolled her eyes, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. At least she was aware enough to admit it.

Then a girl appeared, smiling at Jazzi. "Hi, Jazzi. Mind dancing with me?"

My brow arched, but I smiled sweetly. "Her feet hurt."

"Yeah..." Jazzi mumbled, lips pursed, eyes darting elsewhere. The girl huffed and left, rolling her eyes at me on her way out.

Jazzi suddenly stood up and walked away without a word. For a moment, I almost followed her, pero alam kong magagalit lang siya. Clearly, she was here just to dodge people, not to entertain my persistence.

So I tried to enjoy myself instead — danced with a few students I knew, drank a little. My alcohol tolerance was decent, so I never got tipsy. Still, my mind wasn’t fully in it. Ever since Jazzi walked away, I hadn’t seen her again.

Did she go home already?

"Cai, si Jazzi?" I asked, catching her as she passed by.

"I saw her going that way," she pointed, and I didn’t even hesitate.

And then I found her. Under a tree, eyes closed, looking like she’d fallen asleep. Even in the dim light, she was breathtaking. No makeup, no effort, just… her. Peaceful. Untouchable. Angelic.

I tiptoed closer, heart in my throat. I probably looked like a creepy stalker, pero wala na akong pakialam. This was rare. This was a once-in-a-lifetime view: Jazzi resting without her walls.

"What are you doing?" she asked suddenly, eyes snapping open and locking onto mine.

"I… I was looking for you. And I—" I stammered, only for her to cut me off.

"Marunong ka bang umakyat ng puno?"

"Huh?" Of course I knew how, but not in this dress. And seriously, bakit kami aakyat ng puno ngayon?

"Then just stay there. I’ll climb."

Before I could protest, she was already pulling herself up. I helped steady her until she found a branch. Weird. Gusto ba niyang matulog sa taas?

But then I heard it.

"Meow."

A tiny sound, and suddenly Jazzi was climbing back down, holding a trembling kitten in her arms. My chest melted. The way she cradled it — soft, gentle — it was almost too much.

"Is this Mau’s cat?" I asked.

"I doubt it. Hindi ko rin alam paano nakarating yung kitten sa taas," she said, handing it over when she realized I wanted to hold it.

"Then adopt it! Ang cute pa naman niya, oh." I giggled, showing her the kitten’s tiny face.

"I can’t take care of it. I’m busy." She bit her lip, hesitant. "Ayaw mo ba?"

"Bawal akong magdala ng pet sa dorm, e," I sighed. Truth was, I’d love to. Pero bawal.

"Then let’s raise it together."

I froze, eyes snapping to hers. She was serious.

"Do you want to co-parent with me?" she asked.

YES. I DO. I’LL MARRY YOU.

Chapter Text

"Asta! Pusanggala ka talaga!" Lian almost screamed when she caught sight of me cradling a tiny ball of fur in my arms. Her eyes widened in shock, parang nakakita ng multo. "Alam mong bawal ‘yan dito! Siraulo ka ba?"

"Sshhh!" I pressed a finger to my lips, glancing nervously at the door. "Marinig tayo ni tita (landlady), pagalitan tayo. Gusto mo ba palayasin tayo agad-agad?"

"Talagang palalayasin tayo!" she hissed, marching closer like she was ready to snatch the kitten from me. "Sabi ng rules, bawal magpasok ng pet. Ilabas mo na ‘yan ngayon!" She gave me a shove, pero mas hinigpitan ko lang ‘yung hawak ko sa munting pusa.

I pouted, stroking the kitten’s soft head while it blinked innocently at Lian. "Sige, hindi ka ba naaawa? Look at us, ang cute naming dalawa oh. How can you say no to this face?—and mine?"

Her nostrils flared. "Anong balak mo d’yan, ha? Baka bukas makita ni tita ‘yan. Kapag pinaalis tayo dito, ewan ko na lang talaga!" She raked a hand through her hair, clearly two seconds away from throwing a fit.

"Ihahatid ko siya bukas sa condo ni Jazzi," I answered dreamily, still gazing at the kitten like it was heaven-sent. "Lian, anak namin siya."

Then—pak!

Her palm landed on the back of my head so hard I swear I saw stars. "Aray!" I yelped, rubbing the spot. "Grabe ka, gusto mo bang i-report kita sa barangay?!"

"Gago ka ba? Paano kayo magkakaanak ng pusa? Ikaw nag-ire?!" She narrowed her eyes. "Call Jazzi. Ibalik mo na ‘yan sa kanya."

I huffed, clutching the kitten tighter. "Jazzi will sleep at Mau's. Bawal doon kasi allergic ‘yung isa nilang kasama." I gave her my best puppy eyes. "Please? One night lang."

She groaned, throwing her hands in the air. "Hay, Lord, bakit ba ako nilagay sa room na ‘to?"

But after a long sigh—sign na talo na siya—she jabbed a finger at me. "Fine. Pero ikaw maglilinis kapag nagdumi ‘yan, ha. I swear, Asta, kapag ako napasubo d’yan, isasama na rin kita sa pagkatapon."

"Yes, ma’am!" I saluted, grinning, then hurried to make a makeshift bed using an old blanket for our newest family member.

Habang inaayos ko, na-realize kong wala pa pala siyang pangalan. Tragic. A child without an identity. What kind of mother was I?

I wanted to ask Jazzi right then and there, pero wala akong number niya sa phone. Kay Gene and Cai lang meron. Eh kung sila ang tanungin ko, chances are deadma rin kasi busy lagi ang dalawang ‘yon.

I stared at the kitten, humming. "Ano kayang magandang name? Jazzi and Asta… something in between?"

I glanced at Lian, who was already curled up on her bunk bed. Perfect timing.

"Lian," I whispered, shaking the frame.

She groaned, rubbing her eyes. "Ano na na naman?!"

"Anong magandang name ng pusa?" I beamed at her, parang proud contestant sa Q&A portion.

For a moment she just stared at me like she was reevaluating every decision that led her to this moment. Then, with the heaviest sigh of the century, she muttered, "Asta. Ang ganda mo."

I gasped dramatically. "Aww, really? Finally some appreciation from—"

"Ang ganda mong isako tapos itapon sa labas—TARANTADO KA BA?!" she suddenly barked, her voice so loud that even the kitten flinched and meowed in protest.

I clutched the kitten protectively. "Hoy! Huwag mong takutin ang anak ko! Pag pinuntahan tayo ni tita at nakita siya, ikaw ang papatulugin ko sa labas!"

She covered her face with her blanket and rolled over. "Tatanong ka pa kasi ng kalokohan sa disoras ng gabi. Badtrip!"

I pouted, hugging the kitten closer. "Trip lang naman e. Ang sungit mo."

The kitten purred against my chest like it agreed. See? At least may isang kakampi ako rito.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

The next morning, halos hindi pa sumisikat nang buo ang araw when I hurriedly typed a message for Cai, asking kung nasaan si Jazzi. I was cradling the kitten in my arms and the poor thing kept meowing softly, restless as if alam niya na bawal siya sa loob ng dorm. Baka kasi mahuli siya ni tita kapag bigla itong dumating for inspection. Kaya bago pa mangyari iyon, I knew I had to bring her to Jazzi.

Cai’s reply came fast, almost as if she was expecting me to ask.

"Get ready. Jazzi will be outside in a few minutes."

Ayun, wala na akong choice kundi magmadali. It was only six in the morning—9AM pa ang class ko—but I already found myself preparing to leave like I was running late for something urgent. Ang ironic kasi technically, I was hours early.

And just like Cai promised, a few minutes later, I spotted Jazzi’s familiar car heading toward me. The kitten immediately perked up in my arms, his tiny body vibrating with a faint purr, as if recognizing na ang other mom niya ang nasa loob ng sasakyan. Nakakatuwa rin kasi parang mas excited pa siya kaysa sa akin.

When Jazzi pulled over right in front of me, she didn’t even waste time. She just reached over to push the passenger door open, a silent invitation. Napataas tuloy ang kilay ko.

“I thought bawal kaming sumakay sa passenger seat mo?” I asked, pretending to sound annoyed, kahit totoo namang curious ako.

Her eyes flickered toward me, expression as flat as ever. “Not you,” she answered, her chin tilting toward the kitten instead. “Make him sit there.”

I pouted, acting offended, pero sumunod pa rin ako sa gusto niya. I carefully placed the kitten on the passenger seat, then climbed into the back seat like a sulking kid. She didn’t even comment on my theatrics. Instead, she immediately shifted gears and drove straight, her focus locked on the road. Buti na lang hindi maligalig ‘yung pusa.

It didn’t take long until I realized where we were heading. My eyes widened the moment the signage came into view.

Rivera Condominium.

JAZZI. IS. FREAKING. RICH. No—scratch that. She’s not just rich, she’s filthy rich. I knew her family was well off, but this? This was another level.

Tahimik lang ako habang hawak-hawak pa rin ang pusa, following close behind her as we entered the building. She was effortlessly composed, while I was low-key having a mini breakdown inside my head. She even pressed the elevator button for us, her posture calm and precise, pero hindi siya nag-initiate ng conversation. Not a single word. Para bang sanay na siyang i-block out ang buong mundo.

And yet, kahit gano’n, talagang isinama niya ako sa condo niya. For a brief moment, I wondered—nakapunta na kaya rito sila Cai or anyone else from our circle? Or ako lang talaga ang unang outsider she ever allowed inside her space? I secretly hoped I was the first.

The moment we stepped into her unit, I froze again. The inside was… vibrant. Way too vibrant compared to her personality. The walls were a soft cream, accented with subtle hints of warm tones, and everything was so neatly arranged. Wala ni isang gamit na nakakalat, and the floor practically gleamed. It was spotless to the point na para bang hindi pa talaga siya nakatira rito.

“You look shocked,” Jazzi finally spoke, her voice breaking the silence. She didn’t even glance at me, though. She was busy scanning the cabinets as if looking for something.

“Anong oras pasok mo?” she asked casually, still rummaging through drawers. “Let’s buy her things. Wala akong lalagyanan ng food dito for cats.”

“Nine,” I answered, hugging the kitten closer.

She checked her watch, gave a short nod, then simply said, “Wait for me there.”

After that, she slipped into her room. Probably to change, kasi obvious namang hindi pa siya naka-uniform.

Left alone, I wandered around, curiosity winning over my initial shyness. My eyes darted toward the shelf filled with picture frames. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud—Jazzi was so cute when she was a baby. Ang dami niyang photos, ang dami ring nakadisplay na medals and trophies. Each one gleaming under the soft lighting, like physical evidence that she really was a prodigy. Ang dami niyang sinalihan, ang dami niyang na-achieve.

Then my eyes landed on one particular photo. Jazzi was standing proudly… with a chicken. A chicken wearing a skirt. Napahawak ako sa bibig ko just to stifle my laugh.

Did she seriously keep a chicken as a pet? What was wrong with this girl?

A few minutes later, her bedroom door opened. And just like that, lumabas si Jazzi already dressed in her uniform. She looked effortlessly composed, like she had all the time in the world kahit obvious namang nagmadali rin siyang mag-ayos.

I swear, she looked stunning. The neat cut of her uniform fit her perfectly, highlighting the sharpness of her posture. Para siyang walking embodiment ng “untouchable genius” trope you only read about in books. Except she wasn’t just playing the part—she really was one.

“Let’s go?” she asked, voice calm as if hindi niya alam na para siyang heart attack in human form.

“Paano si—” I stopped mid-sentence.

Right. The kitten still didn’t have a name.

“We can leave him sa guard house muna,” Jazzi said quickly, as if she already anticipated my hesitation. “I’ll also ask someone na maglagay ng CCTV around my condo so kapag wala ako rito, I could still check up on him.”

For the first time, she was speaking longer than usual—hindi tungkol sa academics, hindi tungkol sa org duties. Just her being… concerned. Caring. Almost soft. And honestly? Nakakapanibago.

I simply nodded, not trusting my voice, and followed her out.

By exactly 7AM, we finally left. Sakto ring kaka-open lang ng pet store near her condo. Inside, she went straight to the essentials. Food trays, feeding bowls, litter box, scratching post, a bag full of cat food, even treats. She didn’t even hesitate. She was so focused and attentive, as if she’d been preparing to be a cat mom all her life.

Watching her, a random thought crossed my mind—kapag nagkaroon kaya kami ng anak in the future, would she be this attentive too? The idea made me smile unconsciously, my chest warming at the thought.

I was busy daydreaming when suddenly—

“Hi, Miss.”

I flinched when someone bumped into me. My heart skipped, not from kilig this time, but from something else entirely. Fear.

The guy who blocked my path looked… intimidating. He wasn’t the type you’d casually brush off. His aura was heavy, unsettling. Tattoos crawled over his arms, his long unkempt hair tied loosely, a scruffy mustache shadowing his mouth. Even the piercing on his eyelid looked threatening. Everything about him screamed stay away.

“Why?” I managed to ask, my voice lower than usual.

He held out his phone. On the screen was the contact app, waiting. He wanted my number.

I instinctively looked around, praying Jazzi would notice. But she was a few steps away, completely absorbed with the toy shelf, carefully choosing. No one else was nearby either.

My stomach twisted with unease.

“Sorry, I have a girlfriend kasi,” I said, forcing a nervous laugh. Maybe he’d back off.

His lip curled into a smirk. “Tinanong ko ba?”

My eyebrow shot up. The audacity. A part of me wanted to snap back, to unleash my sharp tongue—but my fear held me down. His presence was suffocating.

I tried to step around him, pero inunahan niya akong harangan. His eyes scanned me, lingering. My mind started spiraling—hindi ba niya nakikita na naka-uniform ako? A student. A college student. What would a guy like him even want from me?

Before panic could fully take over, a voice cut through the tension.

“Asta!”

I spun around.

There was Jazzi, standing a few feet away, her gaze sharp, unreadable. “What are you doing?” she asked, her tone carrying that weight only she could manage.

Relief flooded me. I ran toward her instinctively, like she was the only safe place in the room.

The man’s gaze followed. “Who are you?” he demanded, scoffing. “You’re her girlfriend?”

Jazzi didn’t even blink. “Jaze Zianra Rivera,” she said flatly, her tone a mixture of warning and declaration.

Then she lowered her eyes to the man’s shirt, her voice turning colder. “I know that shirt.”

I glanced at it, confused. It read: Alonzo & Co. Architecture.

My jaw slackened. Wait—wasn’t that…?

My eyes widened as the realization hit. Her mom’s firm.

“You work for my mother?” Jazzi asked, her words crisp, every syllable sharp.

The guy faltered. He averted his gaze.

Jazzi scoffed lightly. “Probably not. My mom would never hire a guy like you.”

And without another word, she reached out—her hand closing around mine.

The contact sent a jolt through me. My skin tingled where her fingers wrapped securely, my chest exploding with warmth despite the tension moments ago. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t even look back at the man. She just led me away, steady, untouchable, and utterly grounding.

All my worries melted instantly. My mind went blank. My vision tunneled. Because all I could see, all I could feel, was her hand holding mine.

LORD, SALAMAT. Favorite mo talaga ako!

Chapter Text

“Ayos lang kayong dalawa?”

Gene’s voice sliced through the room the moment she spotted us—me and Jazzi—inside the office together.

Her casual question, however, had the weight of a spotlight. The atmosphere shifted as three pairs of eyes turned toward us almost in sync, scanning, questioning, curious. It was the kind of silence na hindi naman awkward, pero ramdam mo talaga ‘yung unspoken what’s going on?

And who could blame them? Because the sight we made was something unusual. Something worth noticing.

Jazzi wasn’t looking at me at all, her attention seemingly glued to anything but my existence. Yet there I was, sitting right beside her—within her personal bubble that she so fiercely guarded. A place no one dared to occupy.

My heart was doing little somersaults. I could practically hear the thud echoing in my chest. Sobra akong kinikilig, to the point that I wanted to bury my face in my hands. It felt like some forbidden luxury, this proximity. But then again… why? What was the reason behind this sudden tolerance? If she didn’t want me here, she could’ve easily shooed me away. Pwede naman niya kasing sabihin straight out that she hated losing sight of me. That she preferred me close. At least then, may explanation ako sa kilig na ito.

But no. She stayed quiet. She just… let me sit.

Then, out of nowhere, Jazzi’s calm voice pierced the air. “Did you bring what I asked?” she directed at Gene, sharp and straightforward.

Gene gave a quick nod and reached for a folder from her bag, sliding it across the table.

And just like that—my moment was over. Jazzi pressed her hand lightly against my arm and nudged me away, as if reclaiming her boundaries in silence.

I almost groaned. Napakasama talaga ng ugali. It was as if she was saying, that’s enough indulgence for today. Kung hindi ko lang siya crush, baka kanina ko pa siya inaway sa harap ng lahat.

Defeated, I dragged myself toward the other side of the table and sat beside Cai. Among the four, si Cai talaga ang pinaka-safe kausap. Hindi nagsusungit, hindi nagtataboy, and sometimes, I swore she tried extra hard not to get on my nerves. Siguro nga may dahilan. A gut feeling whispered she liked Lian, and because of that, careful siya not to make me hate her.

“What happened?” Cai asked in a low voice, leaning just a bit closer. Her brows drew together in curiosity. “Jazzi hates people sitting beside her. Anong ginawa mo?”

I shrugged like it was nothing, kahit ang totoo, gusto kong i-frame sa utak ko ‘yung nangyari kanina. “There’s this rude guy kasi kanina. And she saved me.”

Cai’s lips parted in surprise, then her expression softened into something thoughtful. “Do you know why Jazzi and I are friends, kahit na she’s like that?”

I turned to her, brows arching. Honestly, I didn’t. All I ever assumed was na dahil lagi silang magkasama sa student council office, friendship just… happened. I never bothered to think deeper.

“There’s this guy before,” Cai began, her voice quiet, as though the memory still lingered heavily. “He was catcalling a girl right outside campus. Mau and I tried to glare at him, but let’s be real—wala naman talaga kaming laban. Hanggang tingin lang kami.” A chuckle escaped her, tinged with self-deprecation. “Then suddenly, Jazzi walked up and confronted him. Walang takot, Asta. She got punched pa nga by the guy. But she stood back up like nothing happened. And then—believe it or not—she punched him back.”

I gasped, eyes widening. “She punched a guy?”

“Yeah.” Cai chuckled, shaking her head, admiration clear in her tone. “Jazzi hates those kinds of guys. The ones who disrespect women. She won’t just stand there and let it slide. Kahit alam niyang dehado siya, she’ll fight back.”

I turned slowly, my eyes falling on Jazzi again. She was immersed in conversation with Gene, her hands gesturing faintly as they discussed whatever was in the folder. From the outside, she looked like the same old Jazzi: composed, logical, distant.

But now… I could see something more. The girl I liked wasn’t just some aloof genius, not just the unreachable Rivera everyone painted her to be. She was someone who fought. Someone who carried quiet bravery, who wouldn’t stand still in the face of injustice.

I felt a smile tugging at my lips. My heart hummed with a warm certainty. Ang ganda talaga ng taste ko. I knew it.

By 8:45, I finally stood to leave, telling them I needed to get to class. To my surprise, Cai also rose, insisting to walk me out. I thought she would only accompany me hanggang labas ng office, pero hindi—she actually matched my steps, walking beside me down the corridor.

“Can I ask something?” Cai broke the silence after a while, her tone curious yet careful.

“Sure,” I said, hugging my bag against me.

She tilted her head at me, a hint of amusement flashing in her eyes. “How do you do that? You just… manifested your way closer to Jazzi, right? And now, you can sit beside her without her complaining.”

Her words made me laugh. I shook my head. “Manifest, Cai. That’s the key.” Then I eyed her knowingly, lips curling into a sly smile. “Wait. Gusto mo si Lian, ‘no?”

Her laugh came out awkward, a little breathless. For a second, she hesitated, but eventually she nodded. “I do. But I heard she hates attention. And I’m…” She gestured vaguely to herself. “A band vocalist, a student council officer. People know me, Asta. And I bet she hates me for that. But still… I want her to notice me.”

I stopped walking, forcing her to halt too. Facing her directly, I said, “You manifest the wrong way, Cai. Wanting keeps it far away. Assuming keeps it closer.”

Her brows furrowed. “What?” She let out a disbelieving laugh.

I grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Nabasa ko lang. Sabi doon, wanting has the energy of lack. Parang you keep telling the universe na wala ka pa noon, kaya hindi nagbabago reality mo. Pero assuming—it carries the energy of certainty. Your actions align as if it’s already real. When you embody that attitude—it’s already mine—the reality starts catching up.”

Then I giggled, lowering my voice as though sharing a secret. “Kaya nga asawa na tawag ko kay Jazzi e.”

Cai shook her head, amused. “Makapal lang talaga mukha mo, iyon ‘yon.”

“Hindi ah!” I shot back, half-pouting, half-grinning. “Tingnan mo, kapag kinasal kami ni Jazzi, hindi ka invited!”

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

4PM.

Time felt like it was deliberately mocking me, dragging itself slower than usual just because I was waiting for it to move. Ang hirap pala kapag may inaabangan, lalo na kung gusto mo nang matapos ang buong araw para lang makarating sa part na inaasam mo. All I wanted was to go home—or technically, not even home, but to Jazzi’s condo.

We agreed na pagkatapos ng uwian, sabay kaming pupunta roon para ayusin ang gamit ng pusa. Just thinking about it made me restless, tapping my pen against the desk as if doing so would make the clock speed up.

Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin siya natatanong kung anong magandang pangalan ibibigay sa kitten. Would she even give me a serious answer? Baka mamaya ang maisip niya lang is “Mingming” or “Muning.” My God, ang pangit naman pakinggan. Ang dami namang magandang pangalan sa mundo tapos doon lang siya kukuha?

"Ms. Abueva."

My head snapped up when I heard my professor call me. Halos mahulog pa nga ‘yung ballpen na hawak ko. For a split second, I panicked—recitation na naman ba? Because honestly, hindi ko pa talaga nabuksan ‘yung libro ko this time.

But instead of throwing a question, my prof just squinted at me and said, “Someone’s looking for you.”

Napasilip tuloy ako sa pinto, half-expecting to see Jazzi standing there, arms crossed, waiting for me. My heart even skipped for a second. Pero hindi siya iyon.

Napangiwi ako. Nakakainis.

“Pakisabi sir, absent ako,” I muttered, slumping back on my chair.

My whole row of classmates burst into laughter, and even my professor glared at me as if I had just declared war against his authority.

Pero seryoso, ayoko talagang lumabas. Bakit ba kasi kailangang si Mike pa? Out of all people, siya pa ang maghahanap sa akin. For what reason exactly? Magkakapera ba ako kung kakausapin ko siya? Magsasabi ba siya ng something groundbreaking? Will talking to him make Jazzi suddenly fall in love with me? Eh hindi naman, ‘di ba?

Still, I had no choice. Napilitan akong tumayo, and with dragging feet, I headed out of the room.

Nandoon nga siya sa labas, leaning against the wall like some wannabe model, both hands stuffed casually inside his pockets. May pa-smile pa siya nang makita ako.

“Asta.” His voice carried that usual confidence, as if calling my name was already enough.

“Bakit?” I asked, my tone flat, drained of any interest.

“Jazzi asked me to call you—”

Hindi ko na siya hinintay matapos. Kung sinabi niya agad na si Jazzi pala ang dahilan, eh ‘di sana kanina pa ako tumakbo papunta. Napakahina naman ng execution ng lalaking ito.

I left him hanging and headed straight for the student council office, heart pounding at the thought of seeing her.

“Yes?” I said, poking my head inside.

And then my steps faltered.

Because there she was—Jazzi—engaged in a conversation with someone I immediately recognized. The reigning Ms. Ardenwood University. The campus queen.

My feet froze in place.

Jazzi and the girl both stopped talking when they noticed me. And then, like always, Jazzi’s reaction was so calm, so collected.

“You can leave,” she told the other girl, adjusting her glasses as if the moment didn’t faze her at all.

But the beauty queen raised a brow and turned toward me instead. “Why are you here, Ms. 1st runner up?”

Her tone dripped with mockery.

“Pinatawag ako ng girlfriend ko. Bakit?” I shot back, glaring.

She smirked, amused. “Is Ms. Rivera your girlfriend?” She turned to Jazzi, lips curving. “Pinatawag mo ba siya?”

“Yes,” Jazzi replied smoothly. Then, with perfect timing, she added, “And no, she’s not my girlfriend.”

“YET!” I cut in before she could breathe another word. “Not yet.”

The girl laughed—mocking, dismissive. “Weirdo. Sinasayang mo itsura mo.” And with that, she spun around and strutted out, slamming the door shut behind her.

My blood boiled. “Damn you! Akala mo ang ganda-ganda mo? And how dare you tell me na sinasayang ko ganda ko? She is THE Jazzi Rivera, idiot! KUNG TINGIN MO MABABA STANDARD KO, PWES TINGIN KO KAILANGAN MO TAASAN ‘YUNG IYO!” I yelled after her, though my voice only hit the closed door.

Grabe. Kuhang-kuha talaga ng babae na ‘yon ang pikang pilit kong pinapakalma.

Only when the silence fell again did I realize—oh my God.

I was inside the student council office. With Jazzi. And she heard… everything.

For the first time in my life, nahihiya ako. My cheeks burned as if someone had pressed a heater against them. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako titingin—sa sahig ba, sa dingding, o baka sa langit na lang para hindi ko siya makita. Ang alam ko lang, I couldn’t bring myself to look straight into Jazzi’s eyes.

So I lowered my head, shoulders hunched, and slowly walked toward her desk. Each step felt heavier than the last, parang bawat hakbang ko ay nagpapalakas ng kaba sa dibdib ko. I fiddled with my fingers, forcing myself to breathe, pero hindi talaga kaya.

Then she called my name.

“Asta.”

My whole body stiffened. “Oh?” My voice cracked—just a tiny bit, but enough to betray me.

“Look at me.”

My head shook instantly, almost violently, like a reflex. Walang paraan, hindi ko talaga kaya. If I looked into her eyes, I was afraid she’d see everything—lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

But Jazzi was Jazzi. She didn’t accept refusals, not even the smallest ones.

She stood up, slow and deliberate, the chair scraping lightly against the tiled floor. My heart went into overdrive. Then, without hesitation, she reached out and lifted my chin with her hand, guiding my face upward until her gaze locked with mine.

And I swear—lahat ng internal organs ko nag-somersault. Stomach, lungs, liver, pati appendix ata nag-flip.

Her touch was firm yet gentle, her eyes sharp but unreadable. Parang binubuksan niya lahat ng sikreto kong pinipilit kong itago. Well, hindi naman talaga siya secret. PERO WHAT IF MATAKOT SIYA KAPAG NALAMAN NA SERYOSO TALAGA AKO SA MGA PINAGGAGAGAWA KO?

Did she even know what she was doing to me? Na bawat simpleng galaw niya, bawat titig niya, was enough to drive me insane? Did she realize na sa mga simpleng ganito lang, pinapaasa na niya ako?

But then again, okay lang. Because she was Jazzi Rivera. Kahit magkaroon pa siya ng sampung hidden girlfriends, I’d still take it. Kasalanan ko naman kung bakit ako nahulog nang ganito. Ako na bahala mag-move on if ever.

“Who told you you can shout inside the SC office?” she asked, her tone cool but laced with authority. “And who told you you can use my name as you want to?”

Her head tilted slightly, like she was studying me. And I could only gape, speechless, because who could think straight when Jazzi Rivera was holding your chin like that?

“You know there’s a punishment for that, right?” she added, voice low, almost threatening.

“A-ano?” My voice came out small, the bravado I had earlier completely gone.

“You need to work with me and help me finish with my work.”

I bit down on my lower lip, hard, just to stop the grin threatening to break free.

Oh, honey. That’s not a punishment for me.

Chapter Text

Jazzi called me earlier, explaining in her usual concise and no-nonsense tone the changes in the program flow for the upcoming outreach event. Apparently, nagkaroon daw sila ng quick meeting kanina habang nasa klase ako, and since I wasn’t around to hear the updates, pina-excuse na lang niya ako so she could tell me herself. Typical Jazzi—practical, efficient, at palaging siguradong walang makakalusot na detail.

After class, dumiretso ako sa office to confirm with her if our plan for later was still on. She barely looked up from her computer screen when she answered, “Tuloy,” her fingers still flying across the keyboard. I couldn’t help but stare for a moment. No wonder ang labo ng mata niya. With the amount of time she spent glued to her monitor, her eyes were practically sacrificing themselves to her productivity.

“Jazzi, your mother called pala kanina,” Mau announced while shoving her notebooks into her bag, clearly in a rush to get somewhere.

Jazzi paused, brow furrowing. “Who?”

“The supervisor,” Mau clarified. “Sabi niya, sabihin daw namin sa ’yo na tapos na raw magkabit ng CCTV sa condo mo.” She shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “You might know what she meant by that.”

“Para saan ang CCTV?” Gene piped in, curious.

“For our cat.” Jazzi’s reply was short, clipped, but enough to make everyone in the room pause.

My lips tugged into a grin before I could stop myself. “Our,” she said. OUR cat.

Cai and Mau immediately exchanged looks and burst into laughter. Their timing was so annoyingly perfect that I wanted to throw something at them. Every single time na kinikilig ako, sila rin mismo ang nangunguna sa pang-asar. Para bang may kontrabida akong dalawang sidekick. If only it was legal to suplex them on the spot, ginawa ko na.

“Anong pangalan?” Gene asked, leaning forward with genuine curiosity.

And that was when I froze. I turned to Jazzi, silently begging her to answer properly this time. She looked back at me, then shifted her gaze to Gene.

“Kitty.”

Tangina. Sabi ko na nga ba. Napapikit na lang ako. Lalaki pa naman ’yon tapos “Kitty”? What kind of legacy was that supposed to be? Imagine kung mababati siya ng mga kaibigan niya. “Hello, Kitty.” Nakakainsulto. Nakakahiya.

For the first time ever, napikon talaga ako kay Jazzi. The urge to roll my eyes at her was overwhelming, but I knew if I did, Cai and Mau would only tease me more. At baka bumula pa sa katatawa.

By the time we were walking down the hallway on our way to the parking lot, tahimik lang ako. I wasn’t giving Jazzi the satisfaction of a conversation. Kung gusto niya ng kausap, kausapin niya na lang sarili niya. Ako? Magsa-silent treatment muna.

“Why are you sulking?” she finally asked, glancing at me from the corner of her eye.

I kept my lips sealed. Bahala siya. Hindi ako bibigay.

And then—like a cruel twist of fate—the sky decided to ruin my peace. Biglang bumuhos ang ulan. No warning, no drizzle build-up, just heavy drops crashing down against the pavement. The weather earlier had been perfectly fine, almost too perfect. Buti na lang, always ready ako. I pulled out my trusty umbrella, smug and prepared.

“Wala kang payong?” I asked, stopping when I noticed she hadn’t moved from the end of the hallway.

She shook her head, looking almost indifferent to the sudden downpour.

“Sumilong ka na,” I offered, and without hesitation, she stepped under my umbrella.

“Are you mad because of the kitten’s name?” she asked casually while we were walking, her voice calm as always.

Halos magkadikit na kami habang naglalakad. Honestly, hindi na rin kasi maayos ang silong namin—pang-isang tao lang talaga itong payong ko. At least tuyo ang tuktok ng ulo namin, pero mula balikat pababa, wala na. Basang-basa pa rin.

“Who would name their cat Kitty when it’s a boy?” I rolled my eyes dramatically, making sure she saw it.

“Then we can change it to Zinley.” she answered, matter-of-factly. “Your second name is Quinley, right?”

Napalingon ako agad sa kanya, stunned. My heart actually skipped. Wait lang. She… knew?

And then I smiled—like, full smile, the kind na hindi ko na kayang pigilan. Almost hugged her right there on the spot. Not even because she finally gave the cat a decent name, but because she remembered my second name. Nobody called me by that. Wala. I never even used it. Astherielle was already long enough, bakit ko pa gagamitin ang Quinley? Pero Jazzi—she knew. She noticed.

“Hey.” Jazzi snapped me back to reality, her brows lifting slightly. “Para kang sinaniban d’yan.”

“Just happy,” I said, grinning like an idiot.

“I think so too. Dikit ka nang dikit sa akin, oh.” She pointed at our shoulders na halos magkadikit na magkadikit, kahit totoo naman—mas marami pa akong espasyo sa kabilang side ng payong.

But did I care? Nope. Not at all. I continued walking beside her, deliberately leaning closer, brushing shoulders with her every other step. The world could flood for all I cared. Basta ako, happy. I didn’t mean this tho. Mamatay na mga korap.

Until Jazzi stopped walking.

Before I could react, she snatched the umbrella straight from my hands with her quick reflexes—at tumakbo siya palayo!

“Tangina!” I shouted, standing frozen for a split second before chasing her.

Rainwater instantly poured down on me, soaking my uniform in seconds. Meanwhile, Jazzi was running ahead, her figure covered perfectly under my payong, slightly grinning like she’d just pulled off the prank of the year.

The audacity. The betrayal. The sheer nerve of this woman.

And yet—God, she was beautiful even when she was being the most annoying human alive.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

I glared at Jazzi the moment I reached the parking lot, and if looks could kill, baka kanina pa siya natuluyan. Nakaupo siya sa passenger seat as if wala siyang kasalanan, as if hindi siya ang dahilan kung bakit para akong binuhusan ng isang drum ng tubig ulan. Nasa punto na ako na gusto ko siyang sakalin mula sa bintana ng kotse niya, kahit pa alam kong wala akong lakas laban sa kanya.

"You're soaked." Jazzi’s voice came out almost casual, but there was that flicker in her eyes, parang gulat na gulat siya. Like she was surprised na umulan, surprised na nabasa ako, surprised na may consequence yung childish stunt niya kanina. Na para bang hindi siya ang unang dahilan kung bakit basang-basa ako ngayon.

"Can you drive?" she added, tilting her head.

I leveled her a stern look, cold and sharp. "No. But I can drive you insane."

The words fell from my lips with a finality that made even me pause. Stern talaga. Dead serious. Bahala na siya kung anong klaseng “insane” ang pumasok sa utak niya, pero ako, isa lang ang alam ko: hindi ako sasakay sa kotse niya hangga’t hindi siya humihingi ng maayos na sorry.

"Okay then." With that, lumipat siya ng seat, iniwan ang passenger side, at dumiretso sa driver’s seat. She moved with that unbothered grace of hers, like shifting seats was nothing, like moving roles came easy to her. She buckled her seatbelt, then turned her head toward me. "Get in."

Pero kahit anong kumpas niya ng kamay, kahit anong pilit ng boses niya, hindi ko pa rin siya pinansin. I only stood there, arms crossed, hair dripping, giving her the most blank, unreadable expression I could manage. Mas mabuti na ‘yon kaysa makita niya na pinipigilan kong mapikon at mapangiti nang sabay.

Jazzi sighed, long and heavy, the kind of sigh that carried both frustration and surrender. Slowly, she unfastened her seatbelt, pushed open her door, and stepped out of the car. The rain immediately clung to her clothes, droplets running down her glasses, but she didn’t flinch. Hindi siya nagmadali. Hindi rin siya nagpakita ng galit. She just walked toward me with calm, measured steps—like she had already decided what she was going to do.

Then, without warning, binuksan niya ang back door, and before I could protest, she bent down and carried me. Yes, carried me like I was weightless, like I wasn’t dripping wet, like I wasn’t seconds away from screaming in disbelief.

My eyes widened, my jaw nearly dropped. BASANG BASA AKO TAPOS BUBUHATIN NIYA AKO? Seriously? Ano pang silbi ng pag-agaw niya ng payong ko kung sa huli, pareho rin kaming magbabasa?

"Gago ka ba?" I yelled, my voice echoing inside the cramped space of the parking lot.

There it was—the boiling point. The uncontainable frustration. The kind of rage na kahit ako, natatawa na lang sa sarili ko. I was so sorry, Jazzi. Mahal kita pero sumusobra ka na.

"I hate it when someone is forcing me to do something."

Her voice wasn’t loud, pero ramdam ko agad yung bigat ng tono. It was sharp, low, and carried that edge na parang kasalanan ko na agad. She wasn’t teasing anymore. She wasn’t the smug, composed Jazzi na sanay akong kaharapin. This was different. And it froze me for a moment.

Pasalamat talaga siya at pinaiwan niya ibang gamit namin sa office. Kung nadamay doon ang mga papers ko—if even a single page got ruined because of this stunt—baka hindi na ako nakipag-usap sa kanya nang matagal. Pero heto pa rin ako. Staring at her. Seething. And still… ridiculously, hopelessly drawn to her.

Magkaiba ‘yon, okay? Crush is crush. Ang asar ay asar. Kaya kong ihiwalay. Kahit magkadikit na sila ngayon sa utak ko.

"I won’t open the aircon, baka lalo kang lamigin," Jazzi said matter-of-factly as she slid back into the driver’s seat. Her tone softened, like she was pulling herself back from that earlier snap. She buckled her seatbelt, adjusted her glasses, and kept her eyes on the windshield. "I’m sorry."

The words landed quietly, almost drowned out by the steady thrum of rain against the car roof. I turned my head slowly, almost cautiously, to look at her.

"I didn’t mean to offend you." Her voice was steadier now, almost careful. "I’ll never let my impulsive thoughts win again."

My lips pressed together, a stubborn line. "No, it’s fine," I muttered, barely audible.

Her brows furrowed. "What?"

I cleared my throat and forced the words out, louder this time. "Just be comfortable around me. Kahit anong prank pa ’yan, I can bear it, Jaz."

Her head turned, her gaze snapping toward me so quick it made me hold my breath. "Jaz?" she repeated, the syllable low, suspicious, dangerous.

"Yeah," I said, shrugging like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Why?"

"You’re not allowed to call me that." She muttered it under her breath, but the way her lips curved, the way her lashes fluttered—parang may ibang ibig sabihin.

I nodded, biting my lower lip. "Okay."

"In public," she added, eyes back on the road.

Another nod. Another press of my lips to hide the smile threatening to take over. Alam ko na. I was getting there. Slowly. Unnoticeably. I was entering her world, brick by brick, barrier by barrier. She was letting me in. Sabi ko na nga ba. Bibigay rin siya sa charm ko.

"Jaz, maganda ba ako?" I asked out of nowhere, my voice light, teasing, but there was that sliver of vulnerability I couldn’t quite hide.

Her hands tightened slightly on the steering wheel, but her voice came calm. "Everyone’s beautiful, Asta. That’s what my mom told me."

"May chance ba na magkagusto ka sa isang tao?" I pressed, leaning just slightly toward her, testing the waters. "I mean, kahit hindi sa akin."

A beat of silence. Then Jazzi heaved a long sigh, shoulders lifting, then falling. "Tao lang din ako, Asta. Nagkakagusto rin."

I nodded quickly, lips twitching into a small smile. "So, may chance ako sa ’yo?"

Her answer came flat. Brutal. Unflinching. "Wala."

My head snapped toward her, disbelief rushing up my throat. Napairap ako so hard parang baka tumalon na lang palabas yung eyeballs ko.
Bwiset talaga kausap ’to. Kahit sana ‘pag-iisipan ko’ ayos na ‘yon e.

"Napakastraightforward mo naman, sobra ka." I crossed my arms and leaned back into the seat, rolling my eyes dramatically. "Magbabago rin isip mo. Magiging akin ka rin."

Jazzi didn’t even flinch. She just nodded slowly, her lips twitching as if she was holding back a smile. "Tingnan natin."

And just like that, kahit drenched ako, kahit kumukulo pa rin ang dugo ko, I felt it again. That dangerous pull. That inevitability. Na kahit anong tanggi niya ngayon, I knew—deep down—she was already halfway mine.

Chapter Text

Everything went smoothly, at least on the surface. Ang ironic lang kasi kahit ilang araw na rin kaming sabay-sabay pumapasok at lumalabas ni Jazzi, never pa talagang nagtugma ang schedule naming dalawa. Lagi siyang may kailangan gawin, lagi rin akong may inaasikaso. So instead of going home early, naghihintayan kami just so we could walk out together. All for Zinley. Our adopted kitten.

Kung iisipin mo, sobrang random talaga ng buong adoption na ‘yon. Hindi siya planado, and yet here we are, two people na hindi man lang magkasundo sa time management, suddenly united by a stray cat. Nakakatawa kasi if you think about it, Jazzi’s filthy rich—like, she could literally buy a designer-bred cat anytime she wanted. Pero she didn’t. At least not this time. Ako naman, I never really liked the idea of buying pets. I always told myself that if I’d ever get one, mag-a-adopt talaga ako. Mas fulfilling, mas totoo. I even mentioned that to Jazzi once, pero as usual, wala naman siyang pake. She only shrugged, like she always does, and continued scrolling through her phone. Classic Jazzi.

"Jazzi, sasama ka ba mamaya?" Gene suddenly asked habang busy pa siyang nagsa-sign ng papers. "You know? Celebration. I finally got a girlfriend for real." She even chuckled and then turned to me, parang sinasadya talaga akong tuksuhin. That earned her a sharp eye-roll from me.

"Good for you, but I'm busy." Jazzi replied without even looking up, her eyes still glued to her computer screen.

As for me, I was at the student council office dahil sabi ni Cai may new clothes na darating. Mga pahabol donations before the outreach program. Ilang araw na lang din pala at outreach na mismo, which means makikita ko na naman si Mike—na halos isang linggo ko nang iniwasan. Ayoko lang talaga siyang makita.

"May girlfriend ka na? Sino?" Mau chimed in, curiosity written all over her face as she leaned closer to Gene.

"She’s living abroad," Gene said, eyes twinkling with excitement. "But uuwi raw siya sa Christmas for vacation. Ipapakilala ko sa inyo." She flashed a lovesick smile, her cheeks practically glowing.

Halatang-halata na in love siya. And honestly, good for her. Pero of course, that thought spiraled into another: kailan kaya ako? When will it be my turn?

My gaze unconsciously drifted toward Jazzi who was still typing away, her face so serious, parang walang tao sa paligid niya. But then, as if sensing my stare, she suddenly looked up. Our eyes met, and she instantly furrowed her brows.

"What are you looking at?" she asked flatly.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" The words slipped out before I could even stop them.

I froze.

I don’t even know what kind of spirit possessed me to say that out loud. I should never, ever let my intrusive thoughts win. Ang nakakainis pa, I said it in front of everyone. Literal na pumatak agad ‘yung hiya sa buong system ko.

"Nice try, but no." Jazzi said it with zero hesitation, shaking her head before turning her attention back to her computer. Like nothing happened.

Meanwhile, ako, I just pouted and crossed my arms like a sulky child.

"Balang araw, makukuha mo rin ang masungit naming president," Gene teased, plopping down beside me and slinging an arm casually around my shoulders. "Don’t you want to know how I got my girl?"

"Ayoko. Baka ginayuma mo pa ‘yon." I quickly shrugged her off and stood up, moving away toward Cai who was quietly scrolling on her phone like she was immune to all this noise.

"Wala akong ma-a-advice sa ’yo," Cai muttered without even glancing at me, kahit wala pa naman akong sinasabi. "By the way, Asta. Kailan ‘yung runway project ninyo?"

"Why? Willing ka ba maging model ko?" I teased, raising my brows with mock seriousness.

"Siraulo." She snorted but smiled anyway. "I was just asking kasi manunuod ako. Lian will watch too, right?"

"She’s my model, of course she’ll be there." I grimaced, suddenly reminded of how behind I was. "Hindi pa nga nakakapag-umpisa properly for that eh. Next-next week na ‘yon."

"Bakit? Last month pa in-announce na may ganon, ah?" Cai asked, obviously confused.

Napatingin ako kay Jazzi again. Paano ba naman kasi, after classes I always needed to stay here sa office para tulungan siya with upcoming events and projects. Parang kulang na lang ay official representative na rin ako ng department namin. Minsan nga, pakiramdam ko mukha na rin akong officer with everything I do.

My time? My energy? Ubos na ubos kay Jazzi at kay Zinley.

"Gusto mo ba tulungan kita?" Mau suddenly offered, her tone casual but her eyes surprisingly sincere. "May alam naman ako about fashion and designing. You’re always helping here too, so maybe I should return the favor."

My jaw almost dropped. "Really?" My eyes widened in pure shock, because to be honest, hindi ko in-expect na may magvo-volunteer na tulungan ako with something as stressful as this project.

"Yeah." Mau nodded, smiling at me like it was no big deal. "Give me your number. I’ll message you about my ideas para makapag-brainstorm tayo kapag free ka na."

For a moment, I just blinked at her. She was serious. And when that finally sunk in, I happily snatched her phone, typing my number with more excitement than I cared to admit. "Thanks, Mau!"

"Sure. I’ll call you later." She gave me a small wave before excusing herself, heading straight for the door until she disappeared down the hallway.

I stood there for a second, clutching my own phone like I’d just been handed a lifeline. To be honest, nakahinga talaga ako nang maluwag. I didn’t realize how much pressure I was carrying sa likod ko until Mau actually said she’d help.

"Wow," Gene suddenly said behind me, her voice laced with obvious amusement. "Akala ko ba si Jazzi lang ang hilig mong lapitan, pero ngayon pati si Mau kinukuhanan mo na ng number?"

"Excuse me! It's the other way around!" I turned to glare at her, pero she only raised both hands in mock surrender.

"Chill, joke lang. Kalma."

I rolled my eyes, deciding not to entertain her teasing any further. Instead, I glanced at Jazzi again. She hadn’t looked up once during the entire exchange, still completely absorbed in her computer typing away as if none of us existed.

And maybe that’s what annoyed me the most.

Kasi paano? Paano ba ako makakasingit sa mundo niya kung palaging ganito—ako ang tumatakbo, ako ang nag-aalok ng sarili, ako ang nag-e-effort—while she just sits there, cold and unreachable, her attention locked somewhere I’ll never be able to follow?

Napabuntong-hininga ako, slumping back into the chair beside Cai who, as usual, looked entirely detached from the scene. She was busy on her phone pa rin, scrolling with that blank expression na parang wala siyang pake sa lahat ng nangyayari around her.

"Don’t stress too much," she said suddenly, without even looking up. "Things will fall into place. Just… don’t kill yourself over it."

Her words were short, blunt, but they carried more weight than I expected. For a second, I just stared at her, then slowly nodded, kahit na deep inside I wasn’t sure if I believed her.

Because the truth is… hindi ko rin alam kung saan ako lulugar. Between school, student council, runway projects, Zinley, and—of course—Jazzi, I felt like I was being stretched too thin. And yet, despite all that, I kept choosing to stay.

For her.

Always for her.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Zinley…” I whispered the moment we stepped into Jazzi’s condo, para bang automatic na habit na agad ko siyang hahawakan. I scooped my cat into my arms, cradling him like a fragile secret. “I missed you, baby.” My fingers stroked his fur gently, tracing the small, soft ridges behind his ears.

He purred at me, that low rumble vibrating against my chest, and I couldn’t help but smile at how comfortable he had already become in such a short time. Ilang araw pa lang siya sa akin pero parang sanay na sanay na siya. Sobrang lambing. I wonder, paano kaya kapag lumaki na siya? Magsusungit kaya siya? Or will he stay this clingy forever, like some loyal little shadow?

“Alam mo ba…” I sighed, glancing around the room as if Jazzi might suddenly appear from nowhere. I lowered my voice conspiratorially, like we were sharing a secret. “Your other mom is really annoying. Pasalamat talaga siya na crush na crush ko siya. Otherwise, I swear, I wouldn’t put up with her at all.” My words came out in a half-whisper, half-grumble. “I know naman na punishment ko ang tulungan siya, but I thought she was actually going to be with me!” The frustration bled into my tone at the end, making me sound like a kid complaining about unfair chores.

“Inuutusan niya ako pumunta sa ganito, sa ganyan. Bumili rito, bumili roon. Hindi kaya masaya,” I added, pouting as I smoothed my palm over Zinley’s tiny head again. His fur tickled my fingertips. “But I couldn’t say no because… because she would talk to me after. She’d tell me I did a great job. She’d ask me to eat and join her. Ewan ko ba. Your mom has this way of pulling me back without even trying.”

While I was still busy confiding in Zinley like some lovesick teenager, my phone suddenly vibrated against my thigh. The sound snapped me out of my monologue. I frowned when I saw an unregistered number blinking on the screen.

Was this Mau? Ang aga naman niya kung siya nga ‘to.

“Hello?” I answered, cautious but curious.

“Asta, this is Mau.” Her voice carried a burst of energy that immediately lit up my mood. “I asked my mom if we could use her workshop for your project. Pumayag siya.”

My lips parted into a grin even before she finished. Mau’s voice practically sparkled through the speaker. “We can start tomorrow after class or kung kailan mo gusto. You can always sleep here since may extra rin kaming room.”

“It’s fine. After class na lang,” I chuckled, glancing down at Zinley who was now trying to nibble on my sleeve. “Hindi ko pwedeng iwan si Lian mag-isa sa room namin. Thanks, Mau. I owe you one.”

“Anytime. Make sure to take Cai with you, okay?” Mau’s own little chuckle drifted through the line before she ended the call.

I stared at the screen for a second after it went dark. Eh? What was that for? Bakit kailangan pa niyang i-mention si Cai?

Before I could think further, a voice cut into my thoughts.

“Sino ’yon?”

I looked up, and there she was—Jazzi—emerging from the bathroom, her wet hair clinging to her shoulders, towel in hand. She was rubbing it lazily over her head, droplets of water trailing down her neck.

Grabe. Ano bang ginawa ko sa nakaraan para masilayan ang ganitong view nang ganito kalapit?

“Mau.” I cleared my throat and shifted Zinley in my arms. “She offered her mom’s workshop para makapag-start na ako sa project ko.”

As if on cue, Zinley wriggled free from my hold and leapt straight toward Jazzi. Even though she was still fresh from the shower, Jazzi bent down without hesitation and scooped the kitten up.

“Did your mom tell you something, hm?” Jazzi asked the cat softly, the hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

My cheeks burned at the sight. Ang bare minimum enjoyer ko naman—feeling ko talaga may anak kaming dalawa every time I saw her holding him like that.

“Thank God, he doesn’t know how to talk,” I muttered under my breath, slinging my bag over my shoulder. “Pinakain ko na siya. Mauuna na ako. And tomorrow, hindi na ako pupunta. After ko mag-duty sa SC, dederetso na ako kina Mau.”

I threw my announcement over my shoulder like it was nothing and began walking toward the door. Wala naman siyang paki usually. Ilang araw na akong nagpapaalam nang ganito sa kanya. Pero kada alis ko, wala talaga siyang sinasabi.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jazzi’s voice stopped me in my tracks, firm enough to slice through the silence of her condo.

I turned halfway, one hand on the doorknob. “Ang alin?”

“Your project.” She adjusted her hold on Zinley, hugging him closer to her chest like he was some fragile treasure. “Sana hindi na kita inutusan.”

Her words landed heavier than I expected.

“That’s my punishment, remember?” I reminded her with a small shrug, though my throat felt tight.

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly, her gaze dropping to the kitten in her arms. For once, her voice softened, careful. “But I can postpone it if alam kong busy ka. You should prioritize your acads, Asta.”

There it was again. The lecture. The same line she’d been repeating for days now. I rolled my eyes internally. Magsasalita na naman siya if tungkol sa acads. Nakakasawa. Parang sirang plaka.

“Asta.”

Her voice pulled me back again, firmer this time, and I couldn’t help the exaggerated eye roll that slipped out. “What?”

“Do you need anything?”

I blinked at her, taken aback by the question. Of all things she could ask, iyon pa talaga? My lips curved into a smirk before I could stop myself. “Your number.”

Straightforward. Walang paligoy-ligoy.

Bakit hindi? I already had Mau’s number, Gene’s, even Cai’s. Pero si Jazzi, na halos araw-araw kong kasama, wala? Nakakatawa.

She looked at me then, really looked at me, like she was trying to read between the lines of what I just said. And of course, as expected, hesitation flickered in her eyes. Jazzi being Jazzi—palaging may wall, palaging may distance.

“Seriously?” she asked, as if the request was absurd.

“Seriously,” I shot back.

For a moment, I thought she was going to ignore me again. Malabo talaga. Kung ayaw niya, fine. I’ll just ask Mau tomorrow. Napakaarte ng taong ‘to, parang iniisip niya i-spam ko siya with memes or clingy messages.

I was already turning away when I felt her presence close in. Before I knew it, Jazzi was right there in front of me, swift and unapologetic. She snatched my phone straight out of my hand, her fingers moving with practiced ease as she tapped on the screen.

When she handed it back, her expression was unreadable. “Don’t text or call me,” she muttered, her tone flat but not entirely harsh. “Unless it’s an emergency.”

My brows furrowed, but the corner of my lips twitched upward anyway. Because there it was—her number. No name attached, just digits, but it was hers.

And without hesitation, I typed in one word under her contact: Wifey.

I swear, I will never change that name even after ten years.

The moment I got back to my dorm, I didn’t even wait to settle down. Tinawagan ko agad siya. Malay ko ba kung totoong number ba ‘yon o kung trip lang niya. For all I knew, she could’ve typed in random digits para lang tantanan ko siya. Para sure na rin, I had to check.

The line connected, and then her voice, low and unmistakable, filled my ear. “I told you not to call me.” She sounded bored—probably lounging on her couch, watching some documentary or series I would never understand.

“I just wanna make sure this is you.” I bit down on the tip of my index finger, trying not to laugh at myself for sounding so defensive.

Before I could say anything more, my phone buzzed again. This time, it was an incoming FaceTime request. My eyes widened.

“What the—” I scrambled toward the mirror, panic setting in. Was she insane? Kakatapos ko lang maghilamos! Bare-faced, eyebags on full display—baka hindi siya magandahan.

In record time, I grabbed a compact powder and dabbed it onto my face, following it up with a quick swipe of lip tint. There. Kahit papaano, presentable. Hindi naman kailangan full glam; just enough para hindi mukhang sabog.

The screen lit up with her face.

“Matutulog na lang, naka-lip tint pa?” she asked, eyebrows raised, towel now draped casually around her neck. She rolled her eyes at me, but there was a hint of amusement tugging at her lips.

“Eh ikaw nga matutulog na lang, nakikipag-FaceTime pa,” I countered quickly, hiding my fluster behind a grin.

“You said you want to make sure this is me,” she deadpanned, adjusting the camera until her face filled the screen. “So ayan. Masaya ka na? Pwede ko na bang patayin?”

“Sino?” I blurted, almost without thinking.

Her brows furrowed. “Anong sino?”

That sent me into a fit of laughter. I laughed so hard I had to cover my mouth, but Jazzi only stared, unimpressed. Eventually, I nodded, calming myself down.

“Wala talagang chance makipag-sleep on call sa ’yo?” I asked hopefully, still giggling.

“Wala.” Her reply was flat, sharp, and final.

And with that, the screen went black. She ended the call.

But me? I was grinning from ear to ear, clutching my phone like it was the most precious thing in the world. I hugged my pillow tightly, burying my face into it to muffle the squeal threatening to escape.

I had her number. Finally.

This was it. The start of our forever.

Jazzi, just wait. One day, magiging girlfriend din kita.

Chapter Text

"Let me see your designs." Mau leaned forward, palm open as if hindi siya makakapaghintay. Huminga ako nang malalim bago inabot ang sketchpad, the weight of my own hesitation suddenly heavier than the paper itself.

We were at their house that afternoon—me, Lian, and Cai. The plan was simple: susukatan si Lian for the pieces Mau and I was working on. Pero dahil nag-request si Mau na isama ko si Cai, I ended up convincing her, kahit alam kong hindi gano’n kadali. Hindi siya agad pumayag. I had to mention that Lian would be there, and only then did her usual stubbornness melt into a hesitant "Sige."

Until now, hindi ko pa rin gets kung bakit gusto ni Mau na nandoon si Cai. Was she planning something? May ipapagawa ba siya kay Cai? O baka trip niya lang talaga—random like that.

"Do you want to ask my mother’s opinion about this?" Mau’s voice broke through my spiraling thoughts.

I nodded quickly, almost grateful for the distraction. We excused ourselves from the two who were sitting comfortably on the couch, talking in that casual, light way na parang wala silang ibang iniintindi. Mau led me to her mom’s study. Even though her mom was clearly busy, she still gave us time, flipping through my sketches with the kind of critical but kind eyes that only someone seasoned could have. She spoke in a calm, measured tone, pointing out details, sharing small suggestions. It felt grounding, reassuring, like her approval meant more than I wanted to admit.

By the time we got back, the air in the living room had shifted. Lian and Cai were huddled together, laughing at something on the iPad, shoulders nearly brushing. There was something soft, almost intimate, about the way they leaned toward each other.

Mau froze. She just stood there, eyes on them, her lips pressed into a thin line. Then, without a word, she turned and walked straight into the workshop. Instinctively, sinundan ko siya.

"Uy, okay ka lang?" I asked carefully, stepping inside.

"Yeah. May iniisip lang." She gave me a short smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes. "Start na tayo?"

I nodded, pero habang busy kami sa ginagawa, hindi siya mapakali. Her movements were restless, her gaze drifting from her hands to the door, as if she was half here and half somewhere else.

Ano bang nasa isip niya? Was she curious about whatever Cai and Lian were laughing about? Or did she wish she was there too, sitting on that couch instead of here, pretending na okay lang?

Out of nowhere, Mau chuckled softly, breaking the silence. "Effective talaga manifestation method mo, ‘no?"

My brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I talked to Cai yesterday," she said, her voice light but careful. "And I felt like I was talking to you. You know? She’s… a bit assuming na mapapansin siya ni Lian. And now, look. She did."

I let out a short laugh, glancing at her. "Bakit? Crush mo rin si Lian?"

"No." Mau laughed, shaking her head, but then she lowered her voice, almost like she was confessing a secret she never planned to say out loud. "I like Cai."

The words landed like ice water down my spine. Natigilan ako. I didn’t even know how to react.

She likes Cai? But Cai… Cai likes Lian.

And Lian—well, I didn’t even know what Lian wanted.

"But don’t tell her, okay? It’s fine. I can just… get over this." Mau’s lips pressed together as she fiddled with a piece of fabric, her hands trembling just slightly. "Hindi naman ako mamamatay kung hindi niya malalaman."

My throat tightened. "Kailan pa?" I asked softly.

"I don’t know," she admitted, her tone quiet but honest. "Cai and I have been friends ever since. She’s that type of person na kalmado lang sa lahat ng bagay. And when I’m with her… it feels peaceful. Payapa. Like I can breathe."

I nodded slowly, the truth of her words echoing in me. Maybe that was real love—yung hindi lang butterflies or fireworks, but comfort. The kind of love na parang tahanan.

"Alam ninyo, bagay kayo."

We both jolted when Lian suddenly appeared at the door. Behind her was Cai, laughing as their eyes flickered toward us.

"You know Asta likes Jazzi so much," Cai teased.

"Yeah. But Jazzi doesn’t like her," Lian added without hesitation.

"Ipagdiinan mo pa," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"What if kayo na lang?" Lian teased further, her grin mischievous. Mau laughed, shaking her head as if the idea was absurd.

"Bakit?" Lian pushed.

"I like someone else. Asta likes Jazzi. Hindi kami talo." Mau turned back to her work, shutting down the conversation. "By the way, Lian. Lapit ka. Sukatan kita."

So I watched. Just watched. And that’s when I realized why Lian said what she said—that Mau and I looked like we fit. Because Mau had this way of looking at people. Kahit kanino. Like they were fragile glass she wanted to hold carefully, protect, never break.

"Do you think Mau likes Lian?" Cai’s whisper brushed against my ear.

I swallowed back the words I wanted to say—that she noticed how Mau looked at others but never at her. That the one person she didn’t see was the one who mattered.

"She doesn’t like her. Huwag kang overthinker," I answered instead, my voice casual.

Cai laughed, nodding, as if my reassurance was enough.

After the measuring session with Lian, Mau and I dove back into work. Hours slipped by until the clock hit seven. We were packing up, ready to call it a day, when the sudden sound of the door opening broke the quiet.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Mau asked, surprise in her tone.

Before I could even look, a cat darted inside the living room, paws quick and sure as it ran toward me. My heart stopped.

"Zinley," I breathed, scooping him into my arms.

And then—

"He misses his mom."

The voice made my chest tighten. It was Jazzi.

In that instant, all the exhaustion, the weight of the day, melted away. She had come here. She had come all this way, just to bring Zinley to me. And to me, that meant something. More than I could explain.

"Hey, where did you find Sasuke?" Mau asked, eyes narrowing at the cat. "Pusa ‘yan ng kapitbahay namin."

I turned to her, my grip on Zinley tightening.

Wait. Someone owned Zinley?

Cai had offered to take Lian home, at ako naman ay nagpaiwan na lang muna, torn between following them or staying behind. We were still in the middle of debating whether to take Zinley back to his owner or keep him with us.

Honestly, hindi naman dapat ito pinagdedebatehan. The answer should be obvious: someone owned Zinley, therefore he should be returned. Pero ayoko. Ayoko.

I just couldn’t.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero ang bigat-bigat sa dibdib ko. The thought that after tomorrow, I wouldn’t see him anymore—it wasn’t just about Jazzi now, it wasn’t about us anymore. It had become about the cat. About Zinley himself.

"We’ll take him back." Jazzi’s voice was calm but firm, and when I looked at her, she was already nodding like the decision was final.

"Bakit? His owner left him, nakita natin siya. Sa atin na siya." My voice cracked a little as I reasoned out.

Alam kong mali ako. I knew I was bending logic, but at the same time, may point din ako. Hindi ko lang alam kung pointless na iyon.

"Kung pinabayaan siya ng owner, bakit siya hahanapin?" Jazzi asked, her eyes steady on me. "Look, Asta. The cat lost his way. Until now, I don’t even know how he managed to climb that tree, but the fact remains—hindi siya atin. We just found him. It’s still not right to keep him. He has an owner."

I went quiet. Even Mau, who had been fidgeting beside us, didn’t know what to say. Ayoko talaga. Everything in me wanted to cling to Zinley, but I could feel that strong sense of justice radiating off Jazzi. She wanted him returned. And what could I do?

Once I forced to keep him, I wouldn’t even be able to take care of him—bawal ang pets sa dorm. Once I left him with Jazzi, she’d just return him anyway.

"Uuwi na ako." I grabbed my bag abruptly, my chest tightening.

"I need you to agree, Asta." Jazzi’s voice turned stern, steady. "Let’s return him together."

I huffed, looking anywhere but at her. Ang sama na nga ng loob ko, gusto pa niya akong isama kapag binalik?

"You can do it alone. Wala naman akong choice, Jaze Zianra." The name slipped out with a bite. After that, umalis na ako without looking back.

I wanted to cry. OA na ba? Probably. But seriously, I wanted to keep Zinley. Not because of Jazzi or anything else. It felt like I was being forced to give up my ampon—to hand him back to his real parent.

"Bakit nakasimangot ka?" Lian asked when I reached the dorm, her brows knitting.

Umupo ako sa kama ko, tulala, my bag still slung over my shoulder. Hanggang ngayon iniisip ko pa rin si Zinley, replaying the moment in my head over and over.

"Binalik na nila?" Lian asked, sitting beside me, her tone softer this time.

"Yeah." I nodded, forcing a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. "Maliligo na ako."

Lian only nodded and let me be. I started my usual routine, hoping it would distract me. I listed down all the materials I needed for tomorrow, and since I couldn’t sleep anyway, I decided to finish everything I could—cutting patterns, arranging fabric, making sure na bukas, pagtatahi na lang ang gagawin ko. Anything to keep my hands busy, anything para hindi ako mawasak sa kakaisip.

"Hindi ka pa rin ba matutulog?" Lian asked again, her voice tentative.

"Hindi ako makatulog."

Lian sighed, folding her arms. "You know you need to return him, right? Because he’s not yours to begin with." Her voice was soft but steady, like she was trying to both comfort me and make me realize the truth.

"Wala naman akong choice, Lian. Kahit sabihin kong gusto ko siyang i-keep, bawal." I sighed and stared at my phone, the screen glowing back at me.

It was only then that I noticed Jazzi had a message. It had been thirty-six minutes and I still hadn’t read it. Would it just be an update? A casual ‘naibalik ko na’?

"Cai messaged me. Nasa labas daw si Jazzi," Lian said quietly. "Puntahan mo na."

So, I finally grabbed my phone and opened Jazzi’s message. It was simple—she said she was outside. Thirty-six minutes na at hindi pa rin siya umaalis?

Paglabas ko, the air hit me first. Hindi naman malamig pero balot na balot siya, nakajacket pa talaga. She was leaning against her car, her posture straightening the moment she saw me approach.

"What?" I asked flatly, folding my arms. "Did the owner thank you?"

Jazzi was expressionless, her face unreadable. Ano pa bang aasahan ko rito?

"I’m sorry about that," she said quietly. "But even I don’t have a choice." She sighed, and for the first time, I noticed the exhaustion in her eyes.

"Umuwi ka na. Kahit naman magstay ka hanggang hatinggabi rito hindi mo mababalik si Zinley," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Let me ignore you for a night, Jaz. It’s hard for me."

"I know." Jazzi nodded, her lips pressing together. Then, after a moment, her tone softened. "But maybe you can say hi to our new baby?"

Agad akong napakunot ng noo. "New baby?"

Jazzi opened her jacket slightly, and there, nestled against her, was a small, warm bundle of fur—a cat that looked exactly like Zinley but tinier, softer. My heart stuttered.

"The owner says Zinley is her favorite, kaya hindi niya kayang ibigay," Jazzi explained, a faint smile tugging at her lips. "So she offered this cute little fella. Pinsan ni Zinley."

She looked up at me, her eyes searching mine. "Again, Asta. Do you still want to co-parent with me?"

Chapter Text

"So, ano na kayo?" Lian smirked habang naglalakad kami sa hallway. She had that teasing tone na parang sinasadya niyang palalain ang kilig na pilit kong itinatago.

I rolled my eyes, pero hindi ko maitago ang ngiti sa labi ko. Worth it naman pala lahat ng kadramahan kagabi. Who would’ve thought Jazzi would actually ask me again? Kaya kahit late na ako pumasok ngayon, ang gaan-gaan ng pakiramdam ko. Ang ganda ng gising ko. Ang ganda rin ng panaginip ko, to be honest.

In that dream, ikinasal daw kami ni Jazzi. Can you imagine? I almost didn’t want to wake up. Kasi kung choice lang talaga, mas gugustuhin kong manatili sa panaginip na ‘yon kaysa sa reality na puno ng complications at uncertainty.

"Ms. Abueva."

Parang biglang lumamig ang paligid ko. My professor appeared right in front of me, sharp eyes landing directly on me.

"Oh no," Lian whispered, trying not to laugh. "Good luck," she mouthed before bolting away, clearly not wanting to get dragged into whatever was about to happen.

"Ah… po?" I blinked, forcing a polite smile kahit ramdam ko na agad ang kaba na bumibigat sa dibdib ko.

"See me in my office. Now."

The walk to her office felt longer than usual. Every step echoed inside my head, kasabay ng sarili kong tanong—what did I even do? Hindi naman ako nag-cheat. Hindi rin ako gumagamit ng AI for my works. Sure, may mga prof na hindi ako gusto, but never pa nila akong pinatawag nang ganito, na parang may kasalanan akong malaki.

Pagpasok ko sa office, the atmosphere shifted instantly. I was just about to greet my professor when the door creaked open again.

A calm, familiar voice sliced through the quiet.
"What are you doing here?"

My chest tightened. Kilala ko ang boses na ‘yon kahit saan—Jazzi.

Pero mabilis kong narealize na hindi ako ang tinutukoy niya. Her sharp eyes were directed at the elegant woman standing beside my professor.

"Hi, Jazzi Baby."

My jaw nearly hit the floor. Baby?

Jazzi’s expression hardened. "Mom," she said flatly, almost like a warning. "I told you to stop calling me that. I’m not a baby anymore."

Her mom only chuckled softly, utterly unfazed, and leaned in to press a kiss on her daughter’s cheek. "You’ll always be my baby," she teased, ignoring Jazzi’s thinly veiled annoyance.

I froze, realization dawning on me. Her mom?! So this was the woman I deliberately avoided stalking, the figure that was more rumor than memory in my head. And now she was standing in front of me—radiant, sophisticated, and so breathtakingly graceful that for a second, I almost forgot to breathe.

My professor, trying to cut the tension, turned to me with a proud smile.

"This is Ms. Abueva," he said, almost like an announcement. "Top student in the department. What do you think?"

I stiffened, heat crawling up my neck. What do you think? Anong klaseng tanong ‘yon? Parang ipinapakilala ako sa isang panelist ng beauty pageant.

The woman’s lips curled into a knowing smile as her gaze swept over me. "I think she’s beautiful. And clearly brilliant. Don’t you agree?"

"I know her," Jazzi muttered under her breath, voice almost reluctant but too honest to be missed. Her eyes darted away immediately, as if regretting she even said it out loud.

Her mom caught it, though. Oh, she definitely caught it. Her brows lifted slightly, eyes glittering with amusement as she looked between the two of us.

"You… know her?" she asked, a teasing edge coating her tone.

Jazzi’s jaw tightened. "Yeah," she admitted tersely. "She’s the one I’ve been telling you about."

Wait. Telling her… about me? My heart lurched, half thrilled, half mortified.

Her mom’s smile widened, playful and sharp all at once. "Ah," she hummed, as if connecting invisible dots. "So this is the girl you said acts like your girlfriend?"

The world froze. My ears rang. My soul left my body. If there was ever a time for the ground to crack open and swallow me whole, it was definitely now.

JAZE. ZIANRA. WHY?! Totoo naman, oo, pero bakit kailangan mong sabihin sa nanay mo?!

I bit my lower lip hard, bowing my head para maitago ang sobrang pamumula ng mukha ko. Sana lumubog na lang ako sa sahig. Please, soil, open up and swallow me whole.

Her mom chuckled, amused at my obvious embarrassment, then stepped closer.

"Almost every professor I consulted recommended you," she explained kindly. "And I heard your current scholarship is about to end. I’d like to continue it. Full allowance, and if you’d prefer a new dorm, I can offer you a unit in Rivera Condominium."

Her words felt surreal, like someone had just dropped a golden ticket on my lap.

"But…" I swallowed, my voice trembling. "Would you hate me if I accept your offer not just as a scholar… but as someone who’s in love with your daughter?"

Beside me, Jazzi groaned, dragging her palm down her face. Clearly, she wanted the ground to swallow her too—pero dahil sa akin.

Her mom only laughed softly, eyes twinkling. "Your feelings are yours. I can help with your studies, but I can’t decide if you’ll be my daughter’s girlfriend. That’s something only the two of you can figure out."

Then she winked at me—winked!—and brushed her fingers against my chin gently before heading toward the door. "If you change your mind, ask your professor for the requirements. My secretary will arrange everything."

She kissed Jazzi’s head one last time before leaving gracefully, my professor following behind.

Which left me standing awkwardly with Jazzi.

"Do you even realize what you just did?" Jazzi asked flatly, eyes unreadable, tone sharper than a blade. "What if my mom wasn’t… kind?"

"Are you worried she might hate me?" I tried to lighten the air, raising a brow. "Come on. I didn’t know what kind of person she is, so I just took my chances. At least she’s not against us."

"Ako, tutol sa ating dalawa."

Her words cut. Sharp. Merciless.

But I refused to flinch. "You say that," I muttered, arms crossing, "pero ako pa rin ang ginawa mong co-parent ng pusa mo."

"That’s because you like animals kaya ka nga pumayag," she shot back instantly, walking toward the door without sparing me another glance.

"Yeah. But that wasn’t the reason," I followed, my steps deliberately slow, calculated, until I was close enough to lean my chin gently on her shoulder. "It's because I like you. Kaya pumayag ako."

I felt her body stiffen. I heard her breath catch.

"I’m not rushing anything, Jaz," I whispered, softer now, almost like a plea. "Just let me try. Let me have the chance to make you fall for me."

For a fleeting moment, she stood frozen, silent. Then her voice returned, colder than ever.

"That will never happen, Asta. You’re wasting your time."

She twisted the knob and stepped out, her words like a wall between us.

But as I watched her retreating figure, I couldn’t help but notice—her shoulders tensed, her steps heavier than usual. Her body language was betraying her every word.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Pagkatapos ng class, I was surprised to see Mau leaning casually against the wall right outside my classroom. Para bang matagal na siyang nando’n, waiting for me, her phone dangling from her hand while she stared blankly at the hallway crowd.

"What are you doing here?" I chuckled as I walked up to her, shifting the heavy bag on my shoulder.

She straightened and offered a small smile. "Helping you with your bag. Ang dami mong dala, oh—" kinuha niya agad ‘yung bag ko before I could protest. “These are for later, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, for the materials we’re gonna use mamaya.”

“Good,” Mau said simply, then her eyes flicked to the far end of the hall. “Cai’s not in the office. Probably, she’s with your best friend. Ayoko naman mag-stay ro’n na ako lang. Ang awkward.”

I raised a brow. “Why?”

Mau sighed, like she was about to spill a piece of juicy gossip. “May away si Jazzi at Gene e.”

My step faltered a little. “May away?”

“Yep.” Mau shifted the bag higher on her shoulder while walking beside me. “The outreach got postponed. And now, ang binigay na date is the same date as your project runway. Jazzi asked Gene to postpone it again ng one day, pero hindi puwede kasi hindi naman sila ang masusunod. She wanted Gene to find a way, but… you know Gene.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “Baka kasi gusto niyang manuod sa akin.” My eyes lit up teasingly, and Mau burst out laughing.

“Baliw. Most of the volunteers for the outreach are from your department. For sure, mas uunahin nila ‘yung project kaysa sa outreach. Edi wala kaming kasama sa mismong program?” She shook her head while still laughing. “Ang lala mo talaga, ‘no?”

I grinned, not even pretending to deny it. “Legal kaya kami. Nakausap ko na mom niya kanina. Hindi naman siya humadlang sa amin.”

“Oh?” Mau’s brows shot up, voice suddenly brighter. “Tita Mazy? She’s kind. She’s actually like you.” Then she leaned closer like she was about to drop a bomb.

“She likes me?” I asked, half-joking, half-serious.

“Bungol!” Mau flicked my forehead, rolling her eyes. “She’s quite famous here when she was in college. Kapag pumupunta raw siya sa SC office noon, nagkukumpulan mga students sa labas just to see her. And Jazzi’s other mom hated it kasi she was the president. She hates attention.”

“Anong nangyari sa kanila?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“They still ended up with each other.” Mau’s voice softened a bit as she explained. “Tita Azi has this charisma. And Jazzi’s other mom couldn’t resist it.” She lowered her tone, like she was sharing a secret. “Jazzi even told me how down bad they were for each other now, and it’s making her cringe.”

Before I could react to that, the door to the SC office suddenly opened.

It was Jazzi.

Nahiya ako bigla—ang lapit pa naman ng mukha namin ni Mau. Agad akong napaatras, my heart doing that annoying skip it always did when she appeared.

“Papasok ka na?” Mau asked lightly and slipped into the office first, leaving me outside.

I thought Jazzi would let me enter too, but she didn’t move. She just stood there, blocking the doorway, her eyes fixed on me with that look—parang ang laki ng kasalanan ko.

Hey, I didn’t cheat. Mau just whispered, I wanted to say. Napakaselosa naman ng isang ‘to.

“Mom invited you for dinner,” Jazzi said at last, her tone clipped. “Tell her no.”

She brushed past me, and my gaze followed her automatically. Ano na naman problema niya? Gusto niya rin ba akong bulungan? Kahit buong gabi pa kaming magbulungan, game naman ako.

“Seems like bad mood siya,” Mau chuckled from inside, gesturing for me to finally sit. She was still amused by what just happened. “Inaway mo kasi,” she teased, rolling her eyes at Gene.

Gene, on the other hand, looked tired. She let out a long sigh, leaning back in her chair. “Asta, kausapin mo nga ‘yon. Wala naman talaga akong magagawa kung hindi pwede ‘yung date na gusto niya. Maraming kailangan i-consider.”

“Why don’t you ask the dean instead?” I offered, sitting across them. “Magbigay ng extension for the runway? Or make it earlier para hindi mag-overlap?”

“Not possible.” Gene shook her head, her tone firm but resigned. “I already tried that a while ago. Alam mo naman ako, bago ko pa sabihin kay Jazzi ang problema, hinahanapan ko na agad ng solution. But this time, wala talaga.”

“Ako na bahala. Saan ba siya pupunta?” I asked, determination slipping into my tone.

Gene shrugged helplessly.

“Garden,” Mau supplied, pointing casually. “She used to go there when she wanted to be alone. Ikaw na bahala, Asta.”

So I left.

And Mau was right.

I found Jazzi sitting quietly in the garden, her posture straight but her eyes heavy as they stared at the fountain. There was a stillness about her, parang she was carrying the weight of everything alone. Ang lalim ng iniisip niya, to the point na hindi niya man lang naramdaman na may taong lumapit sa likod niya.

I couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Kahit na sobrang seryoso ng aura niya, I wanted to break through it, kahit papaano.

So I covered her eyes gently with my hands. “Guess who?” I chuckled softly.

But Jazzi didn’t even flinch. No startled reaction, no laughter, nothing. Para bang sanay na siya sa presensya ko.

“Aren’t you going to guess who I am?” I teased, trying to lighten her mood.

Her voice came out flat, calm, almost resigned. “No one has the courage to do this to me except you, Asta.”

Natameme ako. Slowly, I removed my hands and stood beside her. She was still staring at the fountain, but I knew she had felt every second of it.

“What are you doing here?” she asked at last, her tone steady but sharp. Then she turned, her eyes meeting mine. “Kinuha mo na ba number ni mommy sa prof mo para sabihing hindi ka makakasama sa dinner mamaya?”

I raised a brow at her question. “Why would I do that? Kapag ba hindi ako sumama, gagaan pakiramdam mo?” I tilted my head, trying to catch her gaze.

“I’m fine, Asta. Just do what I say.” She rolled her eyes and sat down on the nearest bench, almost defensively.

I followed and sat beside her. “You know, you can’t get everything you want, Jazzi. Life doesn’t work that way. You have many things to consider. Hindi lahat ng bagay aayon sa ‘yo.”

“Bakit ikaw?” Jazzi asked suddenly, turning her head to me. “Nakuha mo ako?”

Natigilan ako. My lips parted, words caught in my throat. Did I really…?

Jazzi’s lips curved into the faintest, briefest chuckle. “Pangit mong kiligin.”

“TOTOO BA ‘YON?” I grabbed her shoulders lightly, my eyes wide. She looked away, but I could see her cheeks twitching, as if she was suppressing more.

“Bawal na ba ako mag-joke?” she said, prying my hands off. “Wala ka na bang pasok? Nanggugulo ka na naman dito.”

I crossed my legs, leaning forward on my knee and resting my chin on my palm, smiling shamelessly. “Worth it naman panggugulo ko. Kinilig ako ng ilang minuto. Until now pala.”

She turned to me, her eyes expressionless but her chest rising a little heavier.

“I’m trying my best not to give you false hope, Asta,” she whispered, leaning closer until I could feel the warmth of her breath. “I’m telling you, hindi kita kayang saluhin.”

I didn’t move back. Instead, I leaned in closer too. “I’m not asking you to catch me, Jazzi. How could you, when my only goal is to make you fall for me?” I raised my brows, my voice low, steady, but carrying everything I meant.

Her lips tugged faintly, almost like a smirk. “Do you really want to do this? Act as if you really like me? As if you’re willing to give everything for me? Stop now, Asta. I don’t want to be the reason for your pain.”

“I like you, Jazzi,” I said firmly, my eyes locked on hers. Sobrang lapit na ng mukha namin, I could hear her breathing, uneven and shallow. “And I’m not playing games with you. Just let me like you. Alam ko naman kung kailan ako titigil. Alam ko kung kailan ako lalayo sa ‘yo.”

Jazzi froze, her eyes softening for just a moment before she averted her gaze and sat back properly, putting distance between us.

After a beat of silence, she spoke again, her tone low.

“What's your plan for later?” she asked.

“Probably spend time with Mau. Ayaw mo naman ako pasamahin sa ‘yo.” I shrugged.

Jazzi heaved a deep sigh and stood up. “I’ll pick you up at 8 p.m. Don’t overdress. Mom likes genuine people.”

And with that, she left and I forgot the reason why I was there in the first place.

Chapter Text

Lian was sitting cross-legged on my bed habang busy sinusuklayan ang buhok ko, strands gliding through her fingers like a practiced stylist. Her face was a mix of concentration and playful annoyance, eyes rolling every now and then while she tugged lightly at my hair.

“Ante dinner iyon, hindi mo kailangan mag-full glam,” she reminded, almost scolding. Her voice was half-exasperated, half-sisterly. “And besides, what did Jazzi say? Don’t overdress. She knows what her moms want, and isa lang ibig sabihin non: ayaw niyang ayawan ka ng parents niya.”

I turned to Lian, teasing eyes locking onto hers in the mirror.

“Ikaw ha,” I said, pointing at her with my index finger as if accusing her of a crime. “You’re making me more delulu!” My chuckle turned into a laugh and, in seconds, we were both laughing na parang baliw — the kind of laugh that fills the room and drowns out all the nerves sitting heavy in your stomach.

The sound of my phone vibrating cut through our giggles. I picked it up, and my smile widened when I saw the name on the screen. Jazzi messaged. As usual, she knew exactly what to say at the right time, like she could read my mind even from a distance.

She wrote only three words, but it was enough: I’m here. Outside.

Napangiti ako. Even after all the push and pull between us, the weird jokes, the boundaries we kept dancing around — she still came. Exactly 8PM, like she promised.

“Bye, I love you!” I said quickly, kissing Lian on the cheek before grabbing my bag and running out of the room.

Outside, my heart started doing that weird flutter again. She was leaning casually against her car, phone in one hand, dressed in the simplest outfit imaginable — plain jeans, a loose shirt. Yeah, sure. Parents niya naman ‘yon. It was supposed to be a simple dinner, but somehow it felt heavier than that.

I slowed down as I approached, suddenly self-conscious about my cardigan and the spaghetti strap inside. Before I could even greet her, Jazzi gave me that familiar sigh — the one that meant she was both annoyed and quietly amused.

“I told you not to overdress,” she muttered, reaching out without warning. She tugged lightly at my cardigan, slipping it off my shoulder before I could react.

Nagulat ako. “Hoy—!”

Her eyes widened when she realized I was only wearing a thin strap underneath. For the first time in forever, I saw her face redden. She quickly helped me pull the cardigan back on, her movements abrupt and awkward, like someone caught off-guard.

“Get in the back seat,” she said, pointing at the door, her voice firm but her ears still pink.

Gago ‘yun ha? Hindi man lang nagsorry. Pero sige, wala na akong magagawa. I slipped into the back seat like an obedient passenger, trying not to grin at her sudden shyness.

The ride to her house felt like a strange kind of silence — not uncomfortable, but loaded. She kept her eyes on the road, and I kept sneaking glances at her profile, wondering if she could hear how loud my heart was beating.

When we finally arrived, the car slowed to a stop in front of a modern-looking house with soft lights spilling out from the windows. Her mothers were already waiting outside, standing together by the front door. The moment they saw me stepping out from the back seat, they exchanged a knowing look and chuckled.

For sure, gets na ng parents niya ito.

“Welcome!” The one Mau once called Azi — opened her arms warmly. Her smile was so radiant it cut through my nerves like sunlight. Instinctively, I hugged her back.

Jazzi, on the other hand, grimaced, her expression unreadable, and walked straight into the house without waiting for me. Parang wala siyang kasama. Anong problema non? Lakas na ng tama ha. Akala mo hindi umamba sa akin kanina.

“Come in. Nagluto ako,” her other mom said with a softer tone, ushering me inside like I was already part of the family.

I followed, careful with my steps. Everything about the house felt welcoming but polished — high ceilings, soft furniture, faint scent of something buttery and garlicky coming from the kitchen. Jazzi was already at the dinner table, seated like she belonged there, but still gesturing for me to sit beside her. I obeyed.

I couldn’t help but notice: since they were clearly freaking rich, I thought there’d be staff around, maybe a helper or someone to set the table. Pero wala. The plates were neatly arranged, the serving bowls still steaming. Sino kaya maghuhugas ng plato mamaya? Si Jazzi kaya?

“So, Asta, right?” Tita Azi asked as she placed a bowl of something delicious-looking on the table.

“Yes po,” I replied, smiling politely.

“What’s your favorite ulam?” she asked, leaning forward slightly, eyes curious but warm.

I blinked, surprised. I had been ready to tell a whole story about being an island girl before, about how my mom just tried her luck here in Manila and that’s how we ended up staying. I hadn’t prepared for something as simple as a favorite dish.

“Garlic buttered shrimp po,” I answered after a second, my smile growing.

Across the table, Jazzi’s other mom coughed suddenly, hiding her face with her hand. Tita Azi burst into a laugh and lightly smacked her wife’s arm. “OA mo, babatukan kita diyan e.”

“May naalala lang,” the other mom said, eyes crinkling.

I relaxed a little, letting their easy banter wrap around me.

“I heard nakapasok ka na sa condo ni Jazzi?” Tita Azi continued, her eyes twinkling like she was in on some secret. “For sure you saw how cute she was when she was a kid. She used to roam around and meet so many people.” She smiled at me, a little wistful. “But I guess puberty hits.” She shrugged dramatically.

I laughed nervously. “Yeah. I saw the picture of her pet chicken one time. Nilalagyan niya pa po ng damit.”

I risked a glance at Jazzi, waiting for her to scowl, but she didn’t even react. She just kept eating, her face neutral. Feeling ko talaga close siya sa parents niya. Minsan naiilang lang siya pero walang malalim na away unlike most rich families na nakikita ko.

“That’s not her pet,” Tita Azi said, eyes dancing mischievously. “That’s her sister. Galit na galit pa nga siya nung niluto ni—”

“Mom.” Jazzi finally sighed, her voice carrying a hint of warning. “Kinain nyo na nga ‘yung manok, hindi ka pa rin nakakamove on.”

“That’s because you cried so much that day na pinagsarhan mo pa kami ng pinto,” Tita Azi countered, laughing again.

“Jazzi, you should take Asta to the rooftop,” her other mom chimed in, her voice gentle but firm. “Hindi ba may ginagawa ka roon? Ipakita mo na sa kanya.”

“That’s not for her,” Jazzi muttered, her tone dropping as she continued eating. “I did that for myself. She doesn’t need to see it.”

I glanced at her parents, unsure what they were hinting at. They exchanged a look, an entire silent conversation passing between them, and then they just let it go. As if they both understood Jazzi’s stubbornness better than anyone else, they didn’t push. Instead, they continued eating, occasionally throwing little comments here and there while I just sat quietly beside Jazzi, trying not to fidget with my fork.

Dinner eventually came to an end, but before I could even excuse myself, her parents insisted na huwag muna akong umalis. “We’ll make dessert,” her mom cheerfully said, parang walang pakialam sa obvious tension sa mesa. “You two go to the garden, para makausap niyo rin isa’t isa.”

Jazzi rolled her eyes and muttered, “Mom…” but didn’t argue further. She just stood up and motioned for me to follow her. Honestly, kinakabahan ako kasi I didn’t know what to expect. Kung tutuusin, dinner palang nakakapagod na. Meeting her parents was one thing, but being alone with Jazzi — in her space, in her family’s house — that was a whole different battlefield.

The moment we stepped outside, the cold air greeted us. Hindi naman sobrang lamig pero sapat na para magbigay ng kaunting comfort. The garden was wide and well-kept, almost like a small private park. May fountain sa gitna na softly illuminated, the kind you’d see in magazines or in movies. The sound of trickling water was oddly soothing, parang lullaby na sinasabayan ng mga kuliglig sa paligid.

Jazzi walked a few steps ahead, her hands shoved in her pockets, shoulders slightly hunched as if she wanted to fold in on herself. I followed, my footsteps crunching lightly against the stone pathway.

“Your mom told me you used to be carefree with people,” I started, trying to break the silence. My voice felt too loud against the serenity of the garden, pero kailangan kong sabihin. Otherwise, baka mabaliw ako sa pagiging tahimik niya.

We sat on the bench near the fountain.

“That was before,” Jazzi muttered, her eyes never leaving the fountain. "People change."

“People change,” I repeated softly, studying her profile as the dim light traced the outline of her jaw. “Pero people don’t just change on their own. Someone… or something makes them change.”

That was when I finally asked, “Who made you like that, Jazzi?”

For a moment, she didn’t answer. She just kept staring at the water, her lips pressed in a thin line, and I could almost hear the gears turning inside her head. Then she finally spoke, low and clipped. “None of your business.”

Napakunot ako ng noo. I stepped closer, not ready to let her retreat into herself again. Before she could stand up and walk away, I reached for her wrist and gently tugged her back down on the bench beside me.

“What?” she snapped, her eyes narrowing at me.

“Stay with me, idiot,” I said, flicking her forehead lightly.

“Agh—masakit, ha.” She rubbed her forehead, glaring at me.

“Alam ko. Sinadya ko,” I answered, sticking out my tongue.

She blinked at me incredulously. “Akala ko ba gusto mo ako?”

“Anong connect?” I asked with mock offense, crossing my arms. “Dito ka lang. Minsan na nga lang kita masolo, iiwan mo pa ako? Hindi ka allowed umalis.”

Jazzi groaned, leaning back against the bench. “You could’ve just told me if you wanted me to stay. Anong silbi ng number ko sa phone mo kung hindi mo ako tatawagan?” She rolled her eyes, stood, and brushed the imaginary dust off her jeans.

I was stunned for a second. Did she really just say that? “Wait—akala ko ba bawal kang tawagan unless emergency?” I shot back, scrambling to my feet. “May sapak ka ba talaga?”

“Ayoko na sa ’yo!” she suddenly yelled, marching away like a petulant kid.

I hurried after her. “Ah, so dati gusto mo ako?” I teased, grinning despite my frustration. “Sige na, umamin ka na.”

“Shut up!” she snapped but quickened her pace, clearly avoiding me.

“WAIT LANG!” I called, jogging to catch up. “Kapag hindi ka tumigil, ikikiss kita!”

That made her freeze. I wasn’t able to stop in time so I ended up bumping right into her back. “Ow—”

Before I could recover, she suddenly turned around, closing the gap between us. Her face was mere inches from mine, her eyes glinting with mischief or challenge—I couldn’t tell.

“Gawin mo nga,” she whispered, voice low and daring.

I froze. My brain short-circuited. I really, really liked her, but this? This was too much. My heart was pounding against my ribcage like it wanted to escape.

“I… if I kiss you,” I stammered, swallowing hard, “akin ka na ba?”

Her lips curved, the faintest trace of a smirk. “If you can.” Her eyes bore into mine, unwavering, like she was calling my bluff.

I lifted my hand, trembling a little, and gently cupped her chin. She didn’t flinch, didn’t move, didn’t even blink. She was dead serious.

My courage was wavering, but my feelings weren’t. Slowly, I leaned in, closing the distance between us—

“Asta! Jazzi!”

We both froze, voices ringing from the back porch.

Her mother’s voice cut through the tension like a knife. “Bumalik na kayo rito! Dessert’s ready!”

I immediately jerked back, my cheeks on fire. I turned to the doorway where her mom was waving us over, then looked back at Jazzi. She hadn’t moved. She was still standing there, her eyes locked on me, like she was waiting for me to finish what I started.

But I couldn’t. I took a shaky step back. “Balik na raw tayo,” I muttered, avoiding her gaze.

She looked at me for another long, unreadable moment before finally turning her back.

“Hindi mo kaya, Asta,” she said flatly, walking ahead without another glance.

And I was left standing there, heart pounding, realizing that maybe she was right—hindi ko pa kaya.

But I will soon. Maghintay ka lang, Jaze Zianra.

Chapter Text

Saturday morning. Instead of continuing my project sa bahay ni Mau, I found myself lying flat on my bed, nakatitig lang sa kisame as if the answers to my confusion were written there.

Last night’s event was still heavy on me, parang nakadikit pa sa balat ko ‘yung guilt and hesitation. I kept asking myself—bakit ang hirap gawin ‘yung gusto ni Jazzi? Why couldn’t I just go along with it when deep inside I actually wanted to? Maybe it was because of Mom’s voice echoing at the back of my head, reminding me over and over: don’t give in hangga’t walang label. Don’t kiss anyone if there’s nothing sure. Don’t use the word love unless it’s earned.

And so here I was, torn between what I wanted and what I thought was right.

“May pogandang naghihintay sa ’yo sa labas,” Lian announced the moment she entered the room, holding a plastic bag that smelled unmistakably of warm pandesal.

“Si Jazzi?” I asked without thinking, hope flickering in my chest.

She chuckled, shaking her head. “Si Mau. Ano naman dahilan ni Jazzi para puntahan ka rito? Ang gulo-gulo ng taong ’yun. Minsan parang gusto ka, pero mas madalas hindi.”

“Shy type pa kasi siya.” I rolled my eyes, forcing myself to get up. My body felt heavy, but I still walked out.

Sure enough, Mau was there. She greeted me with her usual cheerful smile, waving at me as if that would magically lift my mood. Pero wala talaga akong gana, so instead of faking energy, I just approached her.

“Bukas na lang tayo gumawa. Tinatamad pa akong umalis,” I sighed.

“But Jazzi is waiting inside.” Mau pointed to her car.

And that was when I saw her—Jazzi, curled up in the passenger seat, fast asleep. The car wasn’t heavily tinted so I could clearly see her face, soft and peaceful in a way that almost hurt to look at. Angel, I thought. If only she knew how easily she could undo me with just existing.

“Do you know Jazzi ever since?” I asked Mau quietly, eyes still on the girl sleeping inside.

“High school lang. Pero we weren’t close back then. Last year lang kami naging tight,” Mau explained. “Why? Wanna know her background?”

“I was just wondering…” My voice trailed off. “…how you even know her parents’ love story if ngayon lang kayo naging close.”

Mau smirked knowingly. “Told you before, her parents are famous sa school. Kaya nga minsan gusto niya talagang umalis doon, e. I even heard one time she wanted to transfer out, pero hindi pinayagan. Not sure if it was because she felt like she was always living in their shadow or something else.” She shrugged.

Before I could respond, a drowsy voice interrupted us. “Are you guys gonna gossip about me or we’ll leave?” Jazzi muttered, eyes half-open, like she had been drinking the night before kahit hindi naman.

Mau clapped her hands together. “By the way, kaya inagahan ko pumunta kasi may party raw mamaya si Gene sa bahay nila. Don’t know the occasion, but you should be there. You’ll need a partner.” Then she smiled, tilting her head at me. “And don’t forget to take Lian with you. Cai would be sad if hindi siya makakasama.”

The way she said it… that smile—gentle, selfless—it hit me like a punch in the chest. Mau letting Cai be happy with the person she truly wanted? That kind of quiet sacrifice, that unspoken pain? I couldn’t imagine bearing it.

“Let’s postpone the dressmaking today. Wala talaga ako sa mood. I’m sorry,” I told her softly.

She only nodded and gave me a thumbs-up, no bitterness in her face, before slipping back into her car.

I waved at Jazzi as a small attempt at connection, but she just rolled her eyes at me.

And honestly? Nasanay na ako. But this time, something felt different. I didn’t feel giddy anymore. It wasn’t about the thrill of chasing someone who didn’t want me. I liked Jazzi—not entirely because she was hard to win over, but because I knew her. I noticed the way she distanced herself, the shifts of her moods, the tiny nuances in her expressions day to day. And the closer I came to her world, the more I realized how difficult it was to actually step inside.

There were a thousand questions I wanted to ask but never could. A thousand reasons I wanted her to say out loud, to explain why she was the way she was. But I knew she wouldn’t.

My thoughts shattered when my phone buzzed.

One notification. One message.

And just like that, my worries dissolved into nothing.

“I’ll be your date later tonight."

Typical Jazzi. People might think she was a walking red flag. But for me? She wasn’t red at all. She was pink. Always pink.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Pagkapasok pa lang namin ni Lian sa bahay ni Gene, nagulat na agad ako. The silence was almost unnatural. Wala man lang halakhakan, wala ring tugtug na umaalingawngaw mula sa speakers. Even the air felt still, parang nag-aabang kung sino ang unang sisira ng katahimikan. Kahit si Lian, na bihira mong makitang nagugulat, grimaced at the sight of the almost-empty living room. Her brows knitted, her lips twisted, and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was: mali ba kami ng bahay?

Pero nang tingnan ko ulit ang phone ko, the glowing red pin on the map confirmed otherwise. Tama naman ang address. Hindi kami nagkamali ng pinuntahan.

“Are you sure it’s here?” Lian finally voiced out, her tone caught between disbelief and annoyance.

“Yeah,” I answered, holding up my phone like it could prove everything. “Tama naman oh. Baka nasa loob lang sila. Tara.” My hand gestured for her to follow, though deep down, even I wasn’t fully convinced.

We stepped further in. Walang ibang tao except for a few maids quietly moving around, their footsteps hushed against the polished wooden floors.

One of the maids noticed our confusion. She rushed over, carrying herself with practiced politeness. “Nasa garden po sila. Ihahatid ko kayo.” She smiled reassuringly, like she’d guided other lost guests before.

Wala na rin kaming choice kundi sumunod. Each step down the long hallway echoed faintly, and I couldn’t shake the thought that this wasn’t what I signed up for. The party that Gene had hyped up? Kung ganito pala, I should’ve just stayed in bed.

Pagdating namin sa garden, everything made sense—and didn’t, at the same time. A small tent was set up sa damuhan, a picnic basket full of food and drinks sprawled out, with a deck of cards messily scattered on the mat. And there they were—Gene, Mau, Cai, and Jazzi. Just them.

Akala ko ba may party? Anong klaseng party na ganito ka-intimate?

“What’s with the frown?” Gene chuckled, flicking a card between her fingers before gesturing toward the mat.

This wasn’t a party at all. At least, not in the way I imagined it. No music, no crowd, no chaos—just a quiet gathering, dangerously close to being mistaken as a group date. Buti na lang hindi kami naka-overdress, otherwise mukha kaming mga tanga ngayon.

“The party got cancelled,” Mau explained, crouching by the chiller to grab something. Her tone was light, but her glance at Gene carried something unspoken. “Gene’s girlfriend didn’t want her to party. Kaya ni-cancel niya.”

Lian raised her brows, disbelief written all over her face. “Ano raw reason?”

Mau smirked faintly, like she knew the answer would stir us. “She doesn’t want Gene to party alone. Gene told her na kasama naman niya kami, pero tahimik lang si girl. For sure, ayaw pa rin. Kaya ayun, hindi na tinuloy.”

Gene stretched her arms overhead with a long sigh, as though she’d accepted defeat a hundred times already. “It’s fine though. I was just trying to celebrate our monthsary. Gusto ko ng party, pero—well—ganito na lang.”

“Eh tarantado ka pala e.” I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms against my chest. “Monthsary ninyo tapos ikaw nagpa-party rito habang siya wala? Ang labo mo.”

Gene groaned, falling back against the pillow like she’d been struck by my words. “Anong gagawin ko? She’s still abroad. Kung pwede ko lang siyang puntahan…”

“Why don’t you?” Lian cut in, tilting her head as if the solution was obvious. “Kaya mo naman siguro.”

Gene hesitated. But before she could even open her mouth, Cai answered for her, her voice gentle but firm. “Kaya niya nga. Pero aalis din siya next week. Hindi rin siya makakasama sa outreach.” She leaned forward, clasping her hands on her lap. “Her research got recognized nationally, and she was invited to join the international research symposium in Singapore. So, mawawala siya for less than a month or so.”

I turned instinctively toward Jazzi, who had been quiet this whole time. Her posture was straight, her eyes steady on the bottle of juice she was holding, but there was a subtle heaviness in her aura. Was she sad because Gene—her VP—would be gone? Or was it something else entirely?

Before I could ask, Gene suddenly smirked at me. The kind of smirk na alam mong may kalokohan. “And that’s why I called for you here,” she declared, pointing at me dramatically. “Because you’re the one who’ll take over as vice president.”

“Gago ka ba?” I nearly choked on my own breath, my eyes widening.

But Gene only laughed, wagging her finger like she’d been waiting for that exact reaction. “It was Jazzi’s idea.” She tilted her chin toward the girl beside her—Jazzi, who looked like she couldn’t care less about what was being discussed.

“Anong trip mo?” I demanded, turning my full attention on her.

She finally met my gaze, her eyes sharp, unreadable. “I’m just making it easier for you.” She said it so plainly, like it was the most logical thing in the world. “You want me to fall for you, right? How can you do that if hindi ka nakapaligid sa akin?”

It felt like the world paused. Even Mau, Gene, and Cai couldn’t help but break into smiles, clearly enjoying the scene like it was a live teleserye. My face burned at their stares, my pulse thundering in my ears. Jazzi’s words were both taunting and—God help me—exactly what I wanted to hear.

“A-at dahil diyan…” Gene stood, sensing the shift and mercifully breaking the silence. “Magbi-beer tayo. Anong gusto nyo?”

“Anong gusto mo, Mau?” Cai turned toward her with a casual grin.

“...Ikaw.”

I swear I almost died on the spot. The words slipped from Mau’s mouth so naturally, like she hadn’t realized the weight of them. I nearly choked on my own saliva kahit wala naman akong iniinom. My eyes snapped to her, then to Cai, and then back again. The air stilled. Lian stiffened beside me.

Everyone froze.

Don’t tell me. Hindi naman siguro aamin siya ngayong gabi? Sa harap ni Lian pa mismo?

Mau’s eyes flicked across our stunned faces before she rolled them with a scoff. “Ikaw pumili ng beer. Yun ang ibig kong sabihin. Kayo talaga, utak nyo…”

Relief—or maybe disappointment?—rippled through the group as Cai chuckled, nudging Mau lightly before standing up. “Fine, fine. Sama ka, Li?”

Lian nodded quickly, as if grabbing onto the distraction. The three of them left for the kitchen, their footsteps retreating down the path.

Leaving me. And Mau. And Jazzi.

The tension instantly shifted, parang biglang sumikip ang hangin. I wanted to talk to Mau, to ask her straight kung anong pinagsimulan ng mga sinabi niya. Pero bago pa man ako makalapit, Jazzi was already there. Blocking me. Positioning herself like some kind of wall I had to climb over.

Every time I leaned slightly toward Mau, Jazzi mirrored the movement, cutting off the path.

“Can you not?” I snapped at her, finally losing patience. “I’m going to talk to Mau about my project.”

She didn’t answer right away. She just looked at me, her face expressionless, but her silence carried the weight of something heavier—territory, claim, maybe even jealousy. Then, without warning, she gestured to the space beside Mau, like she was daring me to try.

So I did. I forced myself to sit beside Mau, determined not to let her dictate my moves. But before I could even settle in, Jazzi grabbed me by the wrist, tugging me hard enough that I stumbled—and landed right on her lap.

Tangina.

I froze. My heart leapt into my throat. Suddenly, my entire body was pressed against her, heat radiating between us. Her arms instinctively caught me, and the world tilted on its axis.

“What’s your problem?” I hissed, trying to wriggle away. My face was on fire, my pride screaming. “Jazzi!”

But she didn’t loosen her grip. “Iwan ko muna kayo. Parang nakakaistorbo pa ako,” Mau said, standing with a too-casual shrug.

I shot her a glare sharp enough to kill, but she only gave me a look that screamed, good luck, before walking off and leaving me alone with this lovely lunatic.

“Anong ginagawa mo?” I tried to push her arms off me, but she held firm. “Nakakairita ka na!”

“So, you don’t like me na?” she asked calmly, her voice so low it sent shivers crawling down my spine.

I stilled. Her words hung heavy in the air, piercing through my defenses. Was this what she wanted all along? To push me until I broke? To turn me off, para sumuko na lang ako?

Well, neknek niya.

“You’re doing this so I’d hate you?” I huffed, glaring at her.

She didn’t answer, her gaze steady, almost challenging.

Fine. Dalhin natin sa next level.

Before I could overthink, I shifted, straddling her lap properly and grabbing her hands to wrap around my waist. “Manigas ka,” I declared, crossing my arms stubbornly. “Wala akong pakialam kung mabigatan ka. Deal with it.”

For a moment, she didn’t move. Then she chuckled—low, warm, and so unexpectedly soft it sent a spark racing down my spine.

When I turned to look at her, she was smiling. Not the faint, sarcastic curl I was used to. No. This time it reached her eyes. Subtle, incomplete, but real. The first genuine smile I’d seen on her.

And it was breathtaking.

“Okay then,” she murmured, tightening her hold on me, her head lowering until it rested against my shoulder. “Basta kapag nasaktan ka, walang sisihan.”

I swear, my soul left my body in that moment. Ako pa mismo ang naglagay sa sarili ko sa posisyong ito, and yet ako rin ang unang naiilang.

Chapter Text

Gene really left that week, just as she said she would. Hindi na rin namin siya nahatid sa airport dahil lahat kami sobrang busy. The outreach program was looming over us like a ticking clock, sabay pa ang runway event. I honestly didn’t know how I was supposed to split myself in half—or thirds—para lang matapos lahat.

Buti na lang, Lian offered to help me with the dress I was making. Kahit si Cai, nakikisali na rin, nagpuputol ng tela or minsan taga-abot lang ng karayom pero malaking tulong pa rin. As for Jazzi, she decided to step in and take over Gene’s council work since nga wala na ako halos oras. She carried it like it was nothing, parang normal lang sa kanya na magbuhat ng gano’n kalaking responsibility. Still, kahit busy rin siya, she never failed to show up at Mau’s house.

And yes, nand’yan siya kahit wala naman siyang aktwal na tinutulong.

I didn’t know what got into her these past few days. Sanay na ako sa lagi niya akong iniismiran, rolling her eyes at me whenever she caught me staring at her. Pero ngayon… tables have turned. It was her who couldn’t stop looking at me.

Nakakailang pala.

I couldn’t focus at all. I could feel her gaze following me from the desk where I sewed, to the couch where I laid down the patterns. Her eyes were steady, deliberate, parang sinasadya niya. It wasn’t the casual, fleeting kind of stare—it was heavy, like she was memorizing every part of me, like she was determined to know me inside out.

As much as I wanted to spend more time with her—God knows I did—tama naman siya. I needed to finish my projects first. Work now, Jazzi later. Or maybe… maybe she just didn’t want anyone stealing my attention. Maybe she just wanted all of me, all to herself. Kaya kahit wala naman siyang natutulong ay nandyan pa rin siya.

One afternoon, on our way out of Mau’s house, she beat me to it.

“Sabay ka na,” Jazzi muttered as she pulled open the backseat door, eyes flicking to me like it was the most natural thing.

“Tara na, Asta!” Mau called from the other side, her passenger seat already open, waiting for me.

Sinong pipiliin ko? Mahal ko o mahal ako?

Kidding. Mau doesn’t like me anyway.

“I want the passenger seat,” I said with a teasing smile.

Jazzi’s hand paused on the car door. She looked at me once, expression unreadable, then—snap—she closed it. Hindi man lang binuksan ang passenger seat. She just gave me the tiniest nod and motioned for me to head to Mau instead.

She fucking didn’t offer me that seat.

My blood boiled. Balang araw, uupuan ko rin ang passenger seat na ‘yan—sa gusto niya o sa hindi.

Rolling my eyes, I stomped my way to Mau’s car. She was already laughing before I even reached her.

“Umasa ka ba?” she teased, her grin wicked. “Ayaw niya talaga.”

I glared at her, gave her a playful punch on the shoulder, which only made her laugh harder. Pikon na nga ako, lalong pinipikon pa.

“Feeling ko gusto na nga ako ni Jazzi,” I muttered as I buckled my seatbelt. “Ayaw niya lang aminin.”

“Feelingera,” Mau snorted, still giggling. “Pero sabagay… Jazzi won’t even look at you if she doesn’t care about you.”

I couldn’t help it—I giggled too, sinking comfortably against the seat. “See? Alam ko eh. Anyway, tomorrow na ang dry run for the event. Hindi ko alam kung makakatulog ako after that.”

“Chill, Asta. Even if we’re not in the event mismo, we can still support you. And besides…” Mau gave me a reassuring smile. “Hahabol ako.”

“Dalhin mo si Jazzi, ah.”

“I will. Pipilitin ko pa nga.” She chuckled, then focused on driving.

By the time we pulled into her driveway, napakunot agad ang noo ko. May motor na nakaparada sa harap—hindi familiar. Cai wouldn’t ride that, Jazzi had her own car. Which meant… bisita?

“Sinong nandito?” Mau asked one of the maids as soon as we got inside.

“Ah, may bisita po ang mama ninyo,” the maid explained politely. “Exchange student daw po ata.” Then she excused herself quickly.

Mau’s eyes narrowed. She clearly didn’t like the sound of that. Without another word, she marched toward the living room. Wala akong choice kundi sumunod.

“Mom, what is this all about?” Mau demanded.

Her mother was sitting on the couch, chatting with someone whose back was turned to us.

“Your manners, Maureen Juno,” her mom scolded, glaring at her.

“I told you not to—” Mau cut herself off the moment the girl turned around.

Damn. She was cute. Younger-looking than us, with this fresh, almost doll-like prettiness.

“Don’t worry, Mau,” Tita said, standing. “She won’t be your babysitter, I know you’re too old for that. And besides, Jazzi and Cai have been good at handling you, so I didn’t need to hire anyone.”

Mau’s jaw tightened at that, but her mom just smiled and gestured toward the girl. “This is Syrah Martis Clavel. She’s a student from Paris, and starting tomorrow, she’ll be attending Ardenwood University. I want you to tour her.”

I bit back a grin—not because of the new fashion student, but because Mau couldn’t stop staring at her.

“Hi, I’m Syrah.” The girl extended her hand politely. Mau, on the other hand, was still starstruck.

I almost burst out laughing. The only reason I didn’t was because I knew Mau would kill me if I did.

“Mau,” she finally stammered, snapping out of it. She shook Syrah’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

They exchanged a few words, awkward on Mau’s side, until Syrah eventually excused herself. “As much as I want to stay longer, I have to go.”

Before following Mau’s mom to her study, Syrah paused and turned back. “Ah, by the way… is it okay to get your number? Since I don’t really know anyone from that school.”

Mau brightened, already reaching for her phone. But Syrah shook her head gently. “Not you. Her.”

She pointed straight at me.

“Ako?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah. Tita told me you’re a fashion major.” She flashed a sweet smile, her features soft and almost baby-like. “And you look pretty too.”

Mau scoffed so loudly I nearly doubled over. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. Poor Mau. Wala talaga siyang swerte.

“There you go,” I said, handing her phone back after saving my number. “I’ll see you around then?”

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll see you.” Her smile widened, almost shy, before she turned to leave.

As soon as she was out of earshot, I turned to Mau with a shrug. “Sorry, mas malakas talaga charisma ko.” I laughed, unable to help myself.

“Hindi ko na isasama si Jazzi kapag nanuod ng runway.” She crossed her arms dramatically and stomped ahead toward the workshop.

“Uy, joke lang!” I called after her, still laughing. “Ito naman! Akala mo naman mang-aagaw e. Loyal ako kay Jazzi ‘no!"

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Patingin nga ako,” I said, making Lian turn around slowly after she was done changing.

The moment she faced us, napasinghap ako. The gown wasn’t just a dress—it was an inferno stitched into fabric, a blaze captured and wrapped around her body. Scarlet silk clung to her like molten skin, every curve of her figure illuminated as if the fire itself wanted to outline her. The hem spilled into a long, burning train, trailing behind her like the remnants of dying embers scattering on the ground.

The edges were blackened, curling like they had just been singed by actual flame, while her shoulders erupted into crimson plumes—sharp, fierce, untamed—almost like wings spreading open, daring to scorch the air itself. She didn’t just wear the gown. She became the flame, alive and consuming, impossible to look away from.

Perfect. She was the perfect model for it.

“Wow.” Cai breathed out, eyes fixed on her, voice barely above a whisper.

And really, who wouldn’t be stunned? Sino ba naman hindi mapapanganga lalo na sa kurba ng katawan ni Lian. She was ethereal, transcendent. Even I hadn’t realized that Lian’s body had the perfect shape for this design. Lagi kasi siyang naka-uniform—loose, unfitted, swallowing her figure whole. At kapag nasa dorm, lagi ring oversized shirt. No one would’ve guessed she had this kind of silhouette hidden beneath all that fabric.

“Tapos na ka—”

Before Jazzi could even finish her sentence, I moved without thinking. Hinarangan ko agad siya with my whole body, blocking her view like a human shield.

No. I wasn’t going to let her see. Hindi ko kakayanin.

Because I knew. The second Jazzi saw her—really saw her—she would compliment her. And if she did? Magdidilim paningin ko. Magseselos ako. Sa akin nga, hindi niya magawa e.

“What are you doing?” Jazzi’s voice was low, curious, almost amused.

I heard the other three chuckling behind us, but I didn’t care. I stayed right there, practically plastered to Jazzi’s front, my arms slightly spread out like I was shielding her from some kind of danger. But the truth was, para na rin akong tanga rito, mukha nang humihingi ng yakap just to keep Jazzi from peeking.

“Get out,” I muttered, eyes narrowing at her.

She tilted her head, tried to lean sideways to sneak a glance, but agad kong hinarangan ulit, stepping right into her line of sight. The laughter behind me grew louder, Cai even snorting, but I still didn’t move.

Sa akin ang tingin mo, Jaze Zianra. Sa akin lang. Huwag kang babaero dito.

And then—suddenly—Jazzi stepped forward.

My breath hitched.

Before I could stop her, she closed the distance and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. My whole body stiffened, every nerve firing at once. The warmth of her pressed against me, her breath brushing just near my ear.

“You did well,” she whispered, her voice a hushed murmur that sent an involuntary shiver crawling down my spine. “She looked great.”

I froze.

Then her tone shifted, deeper, more deliberate. “But that gown would look even better on you. Too bad the designer can’t be the model.”

My heart stuttered. What the hell was she saying?

“What are you saying?” I whispered back, not trusting my voice, barely able to keep myself from trembling.

Her arms tightened around me, pulling me closer, like she didn’t want me to slip away. “Sumabay ka sa akin mamaya pauwi,” she said softly, words grazing like a secret meant for me alone. “I’ll explain it to you then.”

And just like that, she let go.

I stood there, stunned, rooted to the floor while her warmth still lingered on my skin. The air between us was thick, charged, and I couldn’t move.

Bring back the old Jazzi! The one who kept her distance, the one I could tease and roll my eyes at! Hindi pwedeng ganito. Hindi pwedeng ako ang nasspeechless sa kanya.

Chapter Text

"Anong gagawin natin dito?" I asked the moment we stopped in front of her condo building.

She didn’t answer directly—she just gave me that vague little look of hers and motioned for me to follow. Jazzi being Jazzi. Wala na rin akong nagawa kundi sumunod. Whatever trip she was on right now, I honestly couldn’t tell. Kaya tuloy, napilitan akong iasa kina Mau ‘yung paghatid ng dress bukas sa school. Hindi ko talaga kakayanin mag-isa, lalo na’t ang dami pang gagawin.

Bukod pa doon, babyahe na rin sila Jazzi kinabukasan for the outreach. I didn't expect na sa bundok pala iyon gagawin, at hindi lang one-day event kundi dalawang araw pa silang magstay roon. Kaya technically, ang uwi nila ay mismong hapon na ng runway event. I doubted na makakahabol pa sila kahit pa magmadali. Siguro depende na lang kung gaano kabilis matapos ang schedule nila.

Inside her unit, she went straight to her bedroom, while I stayed awkwardly by the door. Ayaw kong pumasok nang basta-basta, lalo na’t mukhang hindi rin niya ako gustong papasukin. Kaya ayun, nakasandal lang ako sa doorframe, watching her move around the room like she was on some kind of mission.

She was opening drawer after drawer, checking, then closing, then opening another. May hinahanap siya, that much was obvious. And yet, hindi niya man lang sinasabi kung ano. I found myself tilting my head, my curiosity bubbling. Ano ba kasing hinahanap niya? Baka naman kaya kong tulungan, pero knowing her, she’d never admit she needed help.

"There it is," she finally muttered, triumph flickering across her face as she pulled out a small box. She turned and walked over to me, handing it without explanation.

"Ano ‘yan?" I asked, hesitant as I accepted the box.

"Open it," was all she said.

So I did, slowly lifting the lid as though something might leap out at me. Inside was a bracelet, delicate and handmade, strung together with beads that had an oddly charming, imperfect beauty. My lips curved into a small laugh, and instinctively, my gaze flicked up to her.

"My cousin gave me that years ago, before she left," Jazzi said, her tone uncharacteristically soft. "It’s a lucky charm. And since I don’t really need luck right now, ipapahiram ko muna sa ‘yo." She didn’t even give me a chance to argue. She took the bracelet gently from the box and clasped it around my wrist herself. "It works. Trust me."

I stared at it, at her fingers brushing lightly against my skin. "Paano kapag hindi gumana? Ipapakilala mo ba ako sa pinsan mo?" I teased, raising my brows.

"No," she said firmly, shaking her head, that tiny smirk ghosting her lips. "She won’t come back here."

I didn’t push further. Instead, we drifted into the living room, settling on the couch. Apparently, nag-order na pala siya ng dinner, something she never mentioned beforehand. Nagulat ako kasi hindi ko naman ine-expect na sasabay ako sa kanya. I quickly messaged Lian to just eat without me, only to find out lumabas din pala siya with Cai. Perfect timing, I guess.

"Jazzi, may I ask something?" I finally said, watching her from the corner of my eye.

She was reading—of course she was, lagi na lang siyang nakatapat sa computer or may hawak na libro—but she still turned her head toward me, brows slightly raised. "Hm? What is it?"

I hesitated, but curiosity won over caution. "Is your cousin the reason why you’re like that? I mean…" I trailed off, recalling her mom’s words. "Based sa kwento ng mommy mo, ang layo talaga ng ugali mo dati sa ngayon."

Her lips curved into something wistful, almost sad. "No," she said quietly, biting her lip as if weighing the truth of her own words. "Mara is a nice girl. Actually, I became like her."

I blinked. "Mara?"

"We were fifteen when she left," Jazzi continued, her voice low but steady. "We promised each other we’d stay together until we reached college. But her parents had to leave—for work."

"And then?" I prompted gently, leaning forward a little.

"She told me na baka hindi na sila bumalik, so she left me the bracelet." Jazzi chuckled softly, though it carried a bitter edge. "It wasn’t even made by her—it was made by her cousin. Hindi ko pinsan."

My brows furrowed. "So why did you change, if okay lang naman pala sa ‘yo na umalis siya?"

The silence that followed was heavy. Too heavy. She didn’t answer right away, and the air between us thickened with unspoken things. Before she could form a reply, someone knocked on the door—the delivery rider, most likely.

But Jazzi didn’t move. She didn’t even look like she intended to. And in that quiet refusal, I knew the truth she wasn’t saying out loud.

I was right. Jazzi wasn’t like this before. Someone had changed her. And deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the person who made this bracelet—the one whose presence lingered even in their absence—was the reason behind the walls she built.

The knock on the door grew a little louder, more insistent, but still she didn’t move. Ako tuloy ang napatingin sa kanya, half-expecting she would at least sigh and get up. Pero hindi. Jazzi just sat there, eyes fixed on her book as if the sound didn’t exist.

"Uh… you’re not gonna get that?" I asked, trying to sound casual even though the silence was starting to feel strange.

Her lips tugged slightly, the faintest smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. "You go. It’s for you anyway."

Confused, I got up and opened the door. The rider handed me a paper bag of food, and I muttered a quick thank you before shutting it again. When I turned back, Jazzi was still in the same position—legs folded on the couch, head bent a little, that unreadable calm plastered all over her face.

I placed the bag on the coffee table and sank back onto the couch. "Ikaw nag-order pero ako ‘yung pinakuha?" I teased, raising a brow.

"Fair trade," she said without looking up. "You get free dinner."

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the laugh that slipped out. Classic Jazzi. Always dodging, always redirecting. Parang may invisible line palagi sa pagitan namin—when I try to step closer, she draws back just enough para hindi ako makalusot.

We started unpacking the food, and as we ate, I kept sneaking glances at the bracelet on my wrist. Its beads caught the dim light of the lamp, shimmering faintly. It looked so ordinary yet carried a weight I couldn’t quite name.

"Do you still talk to her?" I asked out of nowhere, my voice quieter this time.

Jazzi didn’t answer immediately. She set down her chopsticks and leaned back, staring at the ceiling like the question had pulled her somewhere far away. "No," she finally said. "We lost touch years ago."

There was a finality in her tone, but something about the way her fingers fidgeted with the edge of her sleeve told me it wasn’t that simple.

"So she just… left?" I pressed, softer this time, unsure if I even wanted to know the answer.

Her gaze slid to me, sharp yet fragile, like glass that could crack with one wrong word. "People leave, Asta. That’s what they do."

The way she said my name—it wasn’t harsh, but it landed heavy, a weight pressed against my chest.

I swallowed, suddenly aware of how quiet the room had become. The hum of the aircon, the faint traffic outside, all of it blurred into the background. Ang naiwan na lang ay kaming dalawa, at ang pagitan naming puno ng mga bagay na hindi niya masabi.

"Not everyone leaves," I murmured, not sure why I said it, only that I needed to.

For a second, her lips parted as if she might argue, but then she closed them again. She looked away, reaching for her drink instead, and that was her answer.

I let out a slow breath, forcing myself to lean back and pretend to focus on my food. But deep inside, the thought clung stubbornly—whoever she was before, whatever happened to her, I wanted to understand. I wanted to know the story behind every wall she built.

Because right now, even as she sat just a few inches away, Jazzi felt galaxies apart.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Days came and went so quickly na halos hindi ko na namalayan. Before I knew it, andito na agad kami sa pinaka-aabangan — the runway event organized by the fashion department. Everything was in place, maayos ang flow, polished lahat ng details. Pero kahit gano’n, halata mo pa rin sa bawat isa sa amin ang kaba.

Kakatapos lang ng final walk ng models, and now, lahat sila nakahanay na sa stage. Our class had the last schedule kaya kahit gabi na ay nandoon pa rin kami, pagod pero alerto, waiting for the results. By class kasi ang presentations, kaya automatic na rin kaming magkakalaban.

And honestly, ang gaganda ng gawa ng iba. Each dress had its own personality, its own brilliance. But still, Lian stood out. Hindi lang dahil sa gown, pero dahil sa presence niya. The way she moved, the way she owned the stage — para bang siya talaga ang nilaan para sa design na iyon. Alam kong hindi ako nagkamali sa pagpili sa kanya as my model.

"Who is she?" a voice from the crowd cut through my thoughts. Familiar, playful.

"That’s Melian Yasmin Regalado," may sumagot agad, kaya napalingon ako.

Syrah was there, eyes squinting like she was trying to recall something. "I think I’ve seen her before," she murmured, tilting her head.

Napangiti ako at nilapitan siya. "Yeah. She’s my best friend. You saw her last time sa bahay nina Mau," I reminded her.

Her eyes lit up the moment she noticed me. "Ikaw gumawa niyan?" she asked, excitement brimming in her voice.

For a moment, gusto ko sanang angkinin lahat ng credit. Pero naalala ko si Mau — her shy hands, her quiet but steady help while I stitched and stressed over deadlines. Kung gaano siya torpe sa lahat ng bagay, lalo na sa feelings niya. Kaya I did what she couldn’t.

"Hindi lahat," I admitted with a smile. "Mau helped me a lot. She’s good with fashion, and she was really efficient. You can ask her for help sometime."

Agad namula ang pisngi ni Syrah, her gaze flicking away as if pretending she didn’t hear me.

Napailing ako nang bahagya. Sayang, wala si Mau ngayon. Kumusta kaya sila sa outreach? Okay lang ba sila? Did they even get a chance to rest? Sana lang safe sila.

"And now, let’s announce the winner for this class," the host’s voice boomed, pulling me back to the present.

Kinabahan ako bigla. Kanina, I thought I was calm — steady, even. Pero ngayong nandito na, parang gusto nang sumabog ng dibdib ko. Kahit hindi ako manalo, all I wanted was for Jazzi to be proud of me. That would’ve been more than enough.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the host continued, "to present the award to our winner this evening, may we call on stage the pillars of our institution’s excellence. First, the Dean of the Fashion Department, Dean Sarah Hernandez…"

Ang tagal. Every second felt like forever.

"And joining the Dean is the Student Council President, Ms. Jaze Zianra A. Rivera. Please welcome them both with a warm round of applause."

Just like that, my nerves vanished.

Jazzi was up there. She wasn’t smiling, but she wasn’t cold either. Her eyes were searching the crowd, scanning with quiet intent. And kahit na malamang hindi ako ang hinahanap niya, I raised my hand.

Our eyes met.

And suddenly… Jazzi smiled.

Lord. Patay na patay na talaga ako rito. Kung hindi siya magiging akin, bakit?!

"And the winner is…"

I didn’t care anymore. My name didn’t matter in that moment. I only cared about the girl on stage, the smile that was meant for me, the warmth that reached me even from a distance.

"Astherielle Quinley Abueva!"

The crowd erupted, pero lahat ng tunog nawala the moment I saw Jazzi tilt her head, waiting for me. I climbed the stage, hand trembling when she reached out to shake mine. The dean stood beside us, the cameras flashed, and the applause rolled in waves.

But my whole world was narrowed to her.

When the awarding was done and I turned to leave, Jazzi didn’t let me. She helped me step down the stairs, then tugged me away, pulling me backstage.

"The hell?" I chuckled breathlessly, still dazed.

"I’m proud of you," she said — and then she hugged me. Tight. Genuine. Like I was the only person who mattered in the world.

"You came," I whispered.

"Of course. It’s your event. I will definitely be here."

Her warmth seeped into me, her voice, her smile, her everything. For once, wala akong laban.

I didn’t want this moment to end. If winning meant seeing Jazzi this happy for me, then I wanted to win a hundred more times.

Chapter Text

Malapit na ang finals, at kung tutuusin, the pressure was everywhere—hallways buzzing with stressed students, libraries packed with reviewers, and professors piling up requirements left and right. But for me, it was all bearable. Not because I was exceptionally prepared, but because of Jazzi.

I know people might look at me and say I was head over heels for her—na para bang wala na akong ibang iniisip kundi siya. And honestly? I wouldn’t even deny it. What’s the point? Kung tatanungin ako, baka nga mag-explain pa ako sa kanila kung bakit ako ganito ka invested, kung bakit every little thing she does seems to make everything lighter.

I didn’t know when it started exactly, but as time passed by, I learned to understand Jazzi. I realized na change is inevitable, lalo na sa isang taong tulad niya. Hindi ko naman kailangan alamin lahat ng nangyari sa kanya noon, the things that made her the way she is now. I just wanted to enter her world. To know her more deeply, piece by piece.

I wanted to be the girl she would be excited to text after a long day. The girl she’d trust enough to sit on her passenger seat during late-night drives. The girl she’d smile at so widely, na ‘yung ngiti niya umaabot hanggang tenga, eyes crinkling, the kind of smile na hindi niya basta binibigay kahit kanino. I wanted so badly to be that girl—her girl.

“Jazzi, hindi ka pa ba kakain?” I asked softly, turning in her direction.

But she didn’t respond. Napakunot ang noo ko and I stood up to check on her. Then I stopped, smiling at the sight that greeted me. She was sleeping—head resting on her arm, lips slightly parted, her brows relaxed for once. Probably napagod siya kakareview, tapos andami pa naming events na kailangang asikasuhin before Christmas break. No wonder drained na siya.

One week pa bago dumating si Gene, kaya ako na muna ang tumutulong kay Jazzi sa student council works. Nakakasanayan ko na rin naman. In fact, I didn’t mind. It felt good to be useful to her, kahit papaano.

“Hey,” I whispered gently, leaning closer. But I didn’t have the heart to wake her up. She looked so peaceful, and damn—she looked ethereal even in sleep.

Before I could stop myself, I pulled out my phone, grinning like an idiot as I secretly angled the camera. Hindi naman siguro niya malalaman… just one picture. Just for me.

But then—flash.

“What the—” My heart almost jumped out of my chest. Agad kong itinago ang phone sa likod ko, hoping she didn’t notice. But her lashes fluttered, and soon, those drowsy eyes locked on mine.

“What is it?” she asked, voice low and husky with sleep.

“Ah, wala… ano lang—” My words fumbled, my cheeks burning.

Jazzi straightened up, stretching a little before standing. With lazy determination, she reached behind me, her hand brushing against mine as she snatched the phone I was obviously hiding. Wala na akong nagawa kundi ibigay.

“You want a selfie?” she asked casually, and before I could even respond, she took a picture of herself. Then she handed the phone back to me, lips quirking in that signature half-smile of hers. “I told you, sabihan mo lang ako kapag may gusto ka.”

I was still too stunned, but she tousled my hair playfully like I was some little kid, then sat back down on her chair, slipping into her usual composed self.

“What if ikaw gusto ko?” I blurted out without thinking. My laugh came out awkward, trying to brush it off. “Ay… hindi na pala ‘what if’ ‘yon.”

She rolled her eyes, but I swore I caught the faintest trace of a smile tugging at her lips. “Hindi ka pa pala tapos sa panghaharot mo, ‘no?” she muttered, grabbing her eyeglasses and sliding them on. “Lunch na. Hindi ka pa kakain?”

“Aayain nga sana kita, kaso tulog ka.” I pouted exaggeratedly, hoping to tease her more.

This time, Jazzi nodded simply and said, “Tara.”

My heart skipped, and I couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped me.

We were about to leave the office when suddenly—

“Surprise!”

A girl burst into the student council office with a voice so bright, so unapologetically full of life, na parang mismong hangin sa paligid ay napuno ng bagong kulay.

And Jazzi—Jazzi froze.

For the first time in forever, I saw her surprised. Truly surprised. Eyes wide, lips parted, almost starstruck. I had to blink twice just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it.

And then I saw her.

The girl.

She was stunning—like a doll stepped straight out of a glass display, hair cascading perfectly, skin so flawless it almost glowed beneath the fluorescent lights. She had this aura of elegance na hindi mo lang makikita, pero mararamdaman mo rin. I’ve been in this university for three years, pero never ko pa siyang nakita kahit minsan. Wala man lang balita. And yet here she was, walking in as if she owned the place.

Then it happened—Jazzi smiled.

Not just her usual polite smile, not the subtle smirk she sometimes gave, not even the rare softened curve of her lips I always looked forward to. No. This one was different. This was the smile I had been aching to earn. The wide, ear-to-ear grin that made her eyes crinkle, that made her whole face glow like sunlight. The smile that screamed familiarity, warmth, home.

And it wasn’t for me.

“Samien.”

Just a name. But the way Jazzi said it—it was like a spell, a secret whispered to the universe. She’d said my name countless times before, pero never like that. Not with that depth. Not with that softness, that trembling joy.

Something cracked inside me.

All my life, I was never insecure. I grew up knowing I could be anything I wanted to be if I just worked hard enough. I believed na walang imposible, na kaya kong lampasan ang kahit sino.

Pero ngayon. Ngayon lang ako nag-doubt.

“Jazzi?” the girl—Samien—asked, her tone equally soft, equally loaded with something I couldn’t quite name.

And then Jazzi moved.

She ran towards her. No hesitation. No second thought. She wrapped her arms around Samien and hugged her so tightly, so desperately, as if she’d been waiting years just to do that.

I couldn’t move. Wala akong nagawa kundi tumayo roon, frozen, watching the scene unfold like some cruel play written just to break me. In an instant, I became invisible. The moment Jazzi’s eyes landed on Samien, it was as if I ceased to exist.

And that was the worst part.

I didn’t even know her. I didn’t know who Samien was, what she meant to Jazzi, or what history they shared. Pero ramdam ko—talong-talo ako sa kanya. Sa presence pa lang, sa tingin pa lang ni Jazzi sa kanya, I already lost.

Ano bang meron siya? Money? Brilliance? Beauty?

The answer was obvious. She had all three. And worse—she had Jazzi’s heart in a way I never could.

She looked gorgeous. She looked kind. And that was why I couldn’t hate her, kahit pa gusto ko. Kahit pa gusto kong magkaroon ng dahilan para isisi lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Pero wala eh. Wala akong masisisi. Ako lang naman ang may kasalanan, dahil ako ‘tong umasa.

“I miss you,” Jazzi whispered into her ear, tightening the hug.

That was my cue to look away. To leave. Kasi kung titingnan ko pa sila ng mas matagal, baka bumigay na lang ako roon mismo.

So I turned and walked out of the office, forcing my steps to stay steady kahit na ang bigat-bigat ng dibdib ko.

“Asta, okay ka lang?”

It was Mau. She saw me walking down the hallway, and without hesitation, she matched my steps. Her concerned eyes searched my face.

I forced a bitter smile, one that barely held itself together. “Alam ko na kung ano nararamdaman mo kapag nakikita mo si Cai at Lian,” I said softly. “Ang strong mo pala, Mau.”

She stopped walking, surprised at my words. Napatingin ako sa kanya over my shoulder.

“What happened?” she asked carefully. “Did Jazzi introduce someone to you?”

I shook my head slowly, lips pressed tight. That was exactly what angered me. Jazzi had been warning me not to hope too much, not to fall too hard, not to expect anything from her. She told me I’d only get hurt. Pero never—never—did she tell me about Samien.

Why didn’t she? Why keep me in the dark, when she knew one day I’d stumble right into this truth?

The rest of the day blurred. I decided to ignore it all. Ignore the ache, the heaviness, the raw sting pressing against my chest. Wala na akong naramdaman. Or maybe I just refused to feel anything anymore. I didn’t even return to the office. I couldn’t. The thought of seeing them together again was unbearable.

But fate was cruel.

When I reached the parking lot later that day, I froze on the spot.

There they were again.

Jazzi, standing close to Samien, carefully leaning into the car. My breath hitched, my chest tightened. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

And then I saw it—the small, intimate gesture that broke me completely.

Jazzi was fastening Samien’s seatbelt who’s sitting on the passenger seat. Like it was her place. Like she’d done it a thousand times before.

A tear slipped down my cheek before I even realized it.

Right there, in that moment, it hit me like a cruel truth I’d been avoiding all this time: everything I wanted Jazzi to do for me, everything I’d been secretly hoping for—she was capable of doing it.

Kaya niyang ngumiti nang ganoon, kaya niyang tumawag ng pangalan na may excitement, kaya niyang magpaupo sa passenger seat niya. Kayang kaya niya gawin lahat ng iyon.

Hindi nga lang sa akin.

Chapter Text

"Asta, anong gusto mong ulam? Caldereta o Afritada?" Lian’s voice reached me the moment I stepped into the dorm room, parang automatic na ang tanong niya as if she already expected na wala akong gana sumagot. She was standing near the small counter, holding two cans in her hands like a mother na nag-aalok ng options sa anak niyang wala namang choice kundi tumango.

I dropped my bag on the table with a heavy thud, the sound echoing in the small space of our shared room. "Kahit ano, parehas lang naman de lata ‘yan," I muttered, my tone carrying a lazy indifference I couldn’t shake off. My voice sounded tired, even to my own ears, parang drained of any life.

Dragging my feet, I slumped down into my study chair, my eyes immediately drawn to the mirror propped against the wall. I caught my own reflection — disheveled hair, tired eyes, lips pressed tightly together as if holding back words I couldn’t say out loud. Until now, mabigat pa rin ang dibdib ko. Hindi lang basta bigat na physical, kundi ‘yung tipong parang may nakapatong na bato sa loob, pressing down with every shallow breath.

"Asta, okay ka lang ba?" Lian’s voice softened this time. She placed the food in front of me, careful and gentle, as if sensing na hindi lang gutom ang problema ko. "Kanina pa kita tinatawag, hindi ka naimik."

I tore my gaze away from my reflection, shaking my head slightly. I didn’t trust myself to speak yet. Instead, I looked down at the food she set in front of me, a weak and bitter smile tugging at my lips.

Ang hirap na nga ng buhay ko, ang hirap pa ng sitwasyon. Langya naman oh. As if the universe was conspiring against me, piling on problems on top of an already unbearable weight.

Finally, I forced out, "Gutom lang siguro ako," my voice small, shaky. I sniffled, hoping the excuse would be enough to cover the sting in my eyes.

The first spoonful felt heavier than it should. The taste of the sauce barely registered because the moment the food touched my mouth, my tears betrayed me, streaming down uncontrollably. My shoulders shook as I tried to chew, and soon it was useless to pretend.

"Asta?" Lian’s brows furrowed, her concern etched deep into her expression. She immediately reached for a tissue and dabbed gently at my cheeks, her touch careful like she was handling something fragile. "Anong nangyayari sa ‘yo? May umaway ba?"

The floodgates broke. My chest tightened as sobs forced their way out. "Ang sarap ng ulam," I croaked, my voice breaking between hiccups. "Anong brand ‘to?"

I cried harder. Hindi dahil sa ulam, obviously, but because I needed something — anything — to justify the tears streaming endlessly. Kasi if I admitted the real reason, it would mean exposing myself to Lian’s disapproval. Ayokong sabihin kay Lian ang katangahan ko. Una sa lahat, she never liked Jazzi for me. And now… ngayon na wala akong pwedeng sisihin kundi sarili kong kakulitan, paano ko pa aaminin?

"Gago, hindi ka naman umiiyak kahit masarap kinakain mo," Lian said, narrowing her eyes at me as if trying to pierce through my flimsy excuse. Her gaze was intense, searching for cracks, and honestly, I was all cracks right now. "What happened nga?! Sinong nambully sa ’yo?"

Her voice carried a firmness that only best friends could use — no room to dodge, no room to escape. She leaned closer, forcing me to look at her, pero imbes na sumagot, I tugged at her oversized shirt and buried my face into her chest. Ang sakit talaga. Ang sikip sa dibdib, parang sinasakal ako ng sarili kong kahinaan. Hindi ko na alam kung paano ipapaliwanag, hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko.

I felt her arms circle around me, hesitant at first, then tightening like she was silently saying, I got you kahit hindi ko pa naiintindihan.

"Si Jazzi ’no?" she whispered after a long pause, her voice careful. She pulled back slightly, searching my face, and her suspicion turned into something closer to confirmation. "I saw her with a girl kanina."

My lips trembled before I forced out a laugh, but it came out broken, bitter. "Ang ganda ’di ba? Ang tangkad pa. Para siyang Barbie." My laugh dissolved into sobs again, shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

Lian winced, her hand hovering like she didn’t know whether to pat me or slap me awake. "Asta…"

"Okay lang ’yan," she tried, grasping at anything that could comfort me. "Kamukha mo naman si Mama Mary."

Through my tears, I blinked at her, processing her words. "Paano kung atheist siya?!" My voice cracked as another wave of sobs overtook me. "Aaaaaaa!"

Instead of sympathy, I heard it — the quiet burst of laughter she tried so hard to stifle. Lian’s shoulders shook as she pressed her lips together, pero halata pa rin.

My head snapped up, tears and snot and all, glaring at her. "BAKIT KA TUMATAWA NASASAKTAN NA NGA AKO?!"

Her lips twitched before she gave up entirely, laughing despite herself. "Sino ba may kasalanan?" she asked, half-serious, half-teasing.

"AKO NGA!" I shouted, my voice trembling with hurt. "PERO BEST FRIEND MO ’KO! I-COMFORT MO AKO!"

Lian quickly tried to compose herself, though her grin betrayed her. She pulled me close again, one hand rubbing my head in a soothing rhythm, pero paminsan-minsan natatawa pa rin siya. Palibhasa, gusto siya ni Cai kaya madali lang sa kanya. Hindi niya pa nararanasan.

"Wait," I said suddenly, pushing her slightly away, my mind spiraling in a direction I couldn’t control.

"Hm?" She tilted her head, clearly confused.

"What if…" My throat bobbed as I swallowed hard. "What if you found out that Mau likes Cai, but Cai likes you? Hindi mo ba ipapaubaya si Cai kay Mau?"

The question hung between us, heavy and raw.

"Hindi," Lian answered without hesitation, shaking her head firmly. No pause, no doubt.

Her certainty cut through me like a knife. Mas lalo akong naiyak. The unfairness of it all crashed into me, sharp and suffocating. "Ayoko na," I whimpered, collapsing back into her arms. "Lord, penge bagong best friend."

Her laughter mixed with my cries, the room filled with the messy sound of grief and comfort clashing. And in that moment, kahit gaano ka-ironic, I knew this was exactly how Lian and I survived everything — through tears, through laughter, through brutal honesty na masakit pakinggan pero mas masakit tanggapin.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Hindi na ako nagduty sa SC. Para saan pa? To sit there, pretending everything was normal, just to see Jazzi across the room and fall for her all over again? Para muling bumalik sa cycle na ako lang ang laging talo? I told her before that I knew when to distance myself, at iyon mismo ang gagawin ko ngayon.

Ayokong makasira ng relasyon na meron sila ni Samien. Ayoko ring saktan pa ang sarili ko nang paulit-ulit. Mas madaling umatras habang kaya pa, kaysa manatili at magmakaawa ng kahit kaunting atensyon na alam ko namang hindi na para sa akin. I knew she wouldn’t even notice I was gone—but still, a small, pathetic part of me hoped she would.

Ang tagal din namang magkasama, pero bakit parang mas matagal sila? Bakit parang sa ilang araw lang, mas malalim na agad ang koneksyon nila kaysa sa mga buwan na kasama ko si Jazzi?

"Asta!"

I froze when I heard someone calling my name. Paglingon ko, I saw Mike running towards me, his strides uneven, his chest heaving. Huminto rin siya nang tumigil ako, clearly catching his breath.

"How are you?" he finally managed between gasps.

Napakunot ang noo ko. "You chased me… just to ask kung kumusta ako?" My tone came out flat, almost mocking. I rolled my eyes, turned, and walked ahead, not wanting to entertain his sudden display of concern.

"Wait," he said, quickly reaching out. His hand closed around mine, warm and insistent.

Agad akong nainis. "Let go of me," I muttered through clenched teeth.

"What’s happening, Asta?" Mike’s brows furrowed as he studied my face, like he wanted to read through all the walls I was building. "I just want to ask if you have a date—"

"Let her go."

The voice that cut him off made my knees weaken. Jazzi.

Napapikit ako, wishing I hadn’t heard her, wishing she hadn’t come at all.

Jazzi’s hand pried Mike’s away from mine with an authority I both hated and longed for. Her eyes softened as she turned to me, and she was about to hold me—pero agad akong umiwas. I couldn’t let her touch me, not when every brush of her skin meant another wound I’d willingly take.

"Let’s talk," she said, voice low but firm. "See me in my office."

"There’s nothing to talk about, Jazzi," I forced the words out, even as my chest caved in on itself. I turned to her fully, met her eyes with all the strength I could muster. "Natauhan na ako. Ayoko na sa ’yo."

A lie.
God, what a blatant lie.

Kahit anong gawin ko, kahit ilang beses kong paulit-ulitin sa sarili ko, hindi ko maaalis ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya. But to survive—to keep myself from breaking completely—I had to push her away.

If only… if only she would chase me down the hallway, look me in the eyes, and tell me the truth about what’s between her and Samien—baka sakaling bumalik pa ako.

But Jazzi didn’t.

Nakarating ako sa building namin at wala pa rin siya. Hindi man lang ako sinundan. And I refused to be the one to run after her. Hindi ko na kaya.

A thought twisted painfully in my chest. Paano ko bibisitahin pusa namin, kung iiwas ako? What if one day gusto ko siyang puntahan at nandoon si Samien, lounging on the couch with Jazzi, laughing, maybe leaning into each other like they were the only ones that existed? Mas gugustuhin ko na lang sigurong huwag makita. Dahil kung makita ko iyon… edi umiyak na lang ako sa harap nila.

"Ms. Abueva."

"Ay ikog," I gasped, covering my mouth in embarrassment.

"Dito ang classroom natin, lalagpas ka na," our professor pointed out dryly, gesturing at the door. Napayuko ako, heat creeping up my neck as I slipped inside.

I heard some of my classmates laughing, but they quieted immediately when I entered. The atmosphere shifted into something heavier, daunting even. Parang may nagbago, though I couldn’t pinpoint what. Basta pag-upo ko pa lang, ramdam ko na agad ang bigat ng paligid.

"Asta." Someone called from behind. Napalingon ako. "For you." The boy smiled sheepishly and handed me a folded paper.

Napakunot ang noo ko. Really? Pass-the-letter games in college? Wala akong time sa ganito. Still, I opened it.

My chest tightened when I saw what was inside: carefully written letters, looping and playful. A cute lettering asking me to be his date for the midnight masquerade—the much-talked-about year-end party organized by the SC. The announcements had gone out early so everyone could prepare, secure their outfits, and of course, their dates.

I stared at the words, unmoving. My heart whispered Jazzi’s name, but my brain reminded me that she already had someone she’d most likely bring—Samien. Outsiders were allowed anyway, so of course, that’s who she’d choose.

I sighed, scribbled a polite rejection, and returned the paper. Not because I didn’t appreciate the effort. Not even because I couldn’t imagine him as my date. But because I wasn’t going at all.

Mas gugustuhin ko pa sigurong umuwi, spend the night with my mother kahit pagalitan pa niya ako dahil gusto niya talagang sumasali ako sa mga ganitong events.

"Asta." Another voice called from the other side of the room. "May date ka na?" he mouthed exaggeratedly.

"Asta." Another guy called.

I rolled my eyes so hard it almost hurt.

Putangina. Hindi ba nila ako titigilan?

"Ms. Abueva." Our professor’s voice cut sharp through the room. Napapikit na lang ako, bracing for it.

Of course. Asta na naman. Lagi na lang akong subject ng usapan.

"Ano bang gusto ninyong itanong kay Ms. Abueva at ang iingay ninyo?" our professor asked pointedly.

"Sir, may date na po ba siya para sa midnight masquerade?" one of my classmates blurted.

All eyes turned to me. Even our professor looked expectant. Hindi ako makasagot. My throat closed up. Nahihiya ako. And to make it worse—

"Good afternoon, sir. May I excuse Ms. Abueva for a while?"

Her voice again. Jazzi.

Calm, steady, confident. She walked in with a folder in hand, her presence commanding the room without even trying. My chest squeezed painfully, and I quickly looked away.

"Wait a minute, tinatanong pa siya ng kaklase niya," our professor said, gesturing at me. "Ms. Abueva, may date ka na raw ba?"

I lifted my eyes to Jazzi. She was staring back, her expression unreadable but her gaze sharp, curious. Bakit siya interesado? Curious kasi alam niyang hindi ko kayang pumunta kung hindi siya ang date? Curious kasi she knew I wouldn’t dare pester her about it now that Samien was back?

"Meron na po," I lied with a smile.

The room went still.

"Sino?" someone asked.

My lips went dry. For a moment, I panicked. Then, without thinking, I said, "Mike."

Even though I didn’t know if he’d still bother to ask me again. I didn’t even bother with the surname—mas safe na iyon.

The silence thickened. Even Jazzi froze.

Our professor finally motioned for me to follow Jazzi. Wala akong choice, so I did.

"You have a date already?" she asked as we walked down the hallway, her tone clipped. "Mike? The varsity guy?"

I didn’t meet her eyes. "Anong kailangan mo?"

"Answer me first."

"Narinig mo naman ’di ba?" I muttered. "Now, tell me what you want para makabalik na ako sa klase ko."

"I want you back."

The words hit me like a slap.

My feet halted. My world tilted.

"In our office," she added softly.

I forced out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. "Babalik na rin si Gene. Kaya mo na ’yan." I turned, ready to walk away.

But Jazzi’s hand shot out, pulling at my wrist before she wrapped her arms around me.

I froze. Ang init ng yakap niya.

Buti na lang wala nang students sa hallway. Kung meron, baka mukha kaming tanga—dalawang taong hindi makapaghintay, nagyakapan sa gitna ng corridor.

"I’m sorry, Asta," she whispered against my ear, her voice trembling now. "Hindi ko agad sinabi sa ’yo."

"Na may hinihintay kang bumalik?" I asked hoarsely, turning slightly to face her.

She nodded slowly.

My chest cracked open. I pushed her back gently, needing space. "Kayo na ba?"

"No. Not yet." She lowered her gaze, shame flickering across her features.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You asked me to stop, right? And I told you na titigilan kita sa tamang time." I drew in a shaky breath. "And this is it, Jazzi. Gusto kita. But I know my worth."

I turned and walked away, each step both heavy and liberating.

This time, hindi na gaanong masakit. Hindi na rin ako naiiyak. Maybe because deep inside, I finally realized—there are people out there who want to take care of me, who won’t make me feel like an option.

Siguro nga tama sila—ang weird ng type ko. If Jazzi could change, then why couldn’t I? Maybe it was time to look at others. Maybe opening my heart somewhere else would finally bring me the peace I’d been longing for.