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Chapter Text

Spider-Man looked at Nova, he had been a bit worried just moments ago. Finding him floating in space after doing one final hit against Titus and his ship, destroying it by going in and out of it at rapid movements. When it exploded, shaking the ship and they couldn’t find Nova, Spider-man had given up. His knees felt weak and something twisted in his heart, but The Guardians of the Galaxy didn’t give up on Nova, and they found him. Now Spider-Man’s knees felt weak in a different way.

A flood of emotions curled tightly into Peter, not Spider-Man, Peter Parker himself. A twist of guilt for giving up and accepting (not really) Nova -Sam Alexander- was dead in a heroic sacrifice. He was Nova’s leader and he gave up, what a punch to the gut and it made the breath in Peter’s throat clog up. He couldn’t breathe. Though underneath all that guilt was relief and grief. He started grieving Nova the moment he didn’t come back flying to the ship, but the relief when seeing him in front of him, standing, was everything. Peter had brought Nova in with the help of Rocket, and even then, he hadn’t believed Nova would just gasp and open his eyes. How wrong he was.

“I think I’m going to stay.” Nova said, “They’re my team as well, and they need me.” 

Whatever relief in Peter’s heart twisted into something he didn’t want to put a name to. “Oh.” He said, “Then I can’t stop you. I’ll… I’ll let everyone know, thank you.”

He shook Sam’s hand, giving a firm squeeze and a nod. Their hands were clasped for a moment too long and Peter finally let his hand go. He took a step back, remaining quiet for once as he looked out in the dark space. He was so excited earlier, so giddy he got to go to space, and now it was taking something from him. Again. It’s taking Nova from him again. Twice in the span of minutes. 

Nova floated down when the ship landed on the gravel of the road. Peter turned to him, debating on taking his mask off so Sam could see it one last time before leaving, but decided against it. It’s not like Sam would take off his helmet so he was a civilian one last time, Peter wouldn’t do that. 

“Good luck out there, Bucket-Head.” Peter said, smiling beneath his mask because he meant it, though it still didn’t hurt not knowing when he’d see Sam and his stupid bucket again.

“You too, Web-Head.” Sam’s voice was as soft as Peter’s.

Sam turned to fly back into the ship, and for a moment, Peter got ready to grab Sam with his webs and keep him on Earth. He held back, he watched the ship leave, making a subtle outline of Sam staring down at him. Peter wondered when he stopped referring to Sam as Nova in his head when he wore the helmet. It was easy to call Sam his name when it was just him. Pretty green eyes that were like the most stunning Jade Gem’s, dark black hair always brushed behind his head and slicked back slightly with gel and his tanned skin that reflected the sun itself.

“Oh.” Peter said to himself. “He’s always been Sam.”

He shook himself out of his thoughts and swung away to go home. He had a lot to think about, and he knew he wasn’t going to get any sleep. Not when he thought he was about to grieve a teammate, a friend and (possibly?) something more. Though now it’s too late.

Come morning, Peter did not sleep a wink. He knows Sam is alive, but he’s still gone. No one would be able to understand the mourning he went through that night. As a failed leader. As someone who gave up. As someone who saw someone they cared about floating through space with no signs of life. He can’t just get over that, Sam was dead for a few minutes, he knows he was. He didn’t feel a heartbeat. Now he’s alive and not kicking the bucket -Peter snickered to himself, he could make light of something this serious, he always could- but still in space. 

With a team best suited for him.

He found his team, White Tiger, Power Man and Iron Fist on the roof, awaiting their leader. Peter jumped down in front of them, landing in his usual squat and he tilted his head. He explained everything he could when they asked, well, first he started off by saying how cool and amazing it was to see Nova. Not really finding the words as it was a moment they should’ve been there themselves to see and not hear. Though when White Tiger put a hand over her covered mouth, suppressing the giggles, Peter stopped talking.

He turned his head to see Nova right behind him and mimicked the arm movements and words Peter was speaking about him. Peter stared at Nova, eyes nonblinking and mask nonblinking. After he forced himself to come to terms with Sam never returning and silently mourning the teenager, he’s back. Like nothing happened and that stupid grin on his face really started to piss off Peter. When Nova looked triumph because Peter had been complimenting him, that seemed to let the angry he hadn’t let himself feel surface up. 

Heart twisting for the millionth time since yesterday.

Spider-Man, without thinking, reeled his arm back and punched Nova’s chest. He still remembered to hold back, but not as much as usual. Nova flew backwards with a grunt, almost hitting the building across from them if not for gathering his footing in mid-air. When he shook his head to clear his thoughts, he looked back at his team, but Spider-Man was gone.

Spider-Man swung from building to building, sticking to the shadows as he didn’t want to be found. He slipped in between an alleyway and stuck to the wall, holding his breath as Nova flew past him quickly, then Spider-Man jumped down and changed. He became Peter Park with a simple twirl as walked back into the sun. Head down, eyes on the sidewalk and a frown creased his lips. 

Now he was even more conflicted than before and he knew why. It took Sam leaving and coming back overnight to really push him over the edge. He had always known Sam was attractive in a snarky and stupid way, but he didn’t think it warranted a little crush on him. Though it seems to have developed each time Peter closed his eyes and now it was more than a crush. He didn’t want to name it, yet, but he had a feeling. 

Peter sighed out and ran a palm over his hair, trying to fix the middle part and have some control over his thoughts and feelings, but it didn’t work. It only irritated him more. So, Peter did the most logical thing and he avoided Sam and Nova at any possible given moment. He wanted to calm down from his anger more than anything before facing the fellow hero.

After training? Spider-Man was gone. Big Bad taken down? Spider-Man dipped before Nova could say anything. Once a debrief or meeting was over? Spider-Man’s best friend was the shadows. During school? Peter ate with MJ and Harry, ignoring their questions and gaze flickering over to his teammates' table, didn’t even notice the pitying look MJ gave to Sam. Peter pretty much made himself a ghost when it came to anything outside of working as a team, and it was starting to affect how they played out on the field.

Their team was falling apart. 

“I don’t care how you do it, Spider-Man, but fix whatever it is between you and Nova.” Nick Fury said, eyeing the teenager in front of him.

Peter huffed beneath his mask, rolling on the balls of his feet, “There’s nothing to fix. We are in tip-top shape. Like a threaded lightbulb.”

“A threaded… never mind, don’t explain.”

“You know, webs on a lightbulb. Like threads. Threaded lightbulb.” Peter said anyway.

Fury’s jaw clenched and he took a deep breath. He’s not surprised Peter explained anyways, he wasn’t one to listen, though that didn’t stop his patients from wearing thin. At first, he could ignore the issue, they were still doing well as heroes and he assumed they would sort it out eventually. Though it’s been a few weeks, and they’ve almost lost battles and got severely injured because of the lack of communication. More so on Nova’s end as he’s been more down in the dumps, like a kicked puppy watching its owner eat their treats in front of them. It was starting to bother Fury more than he’d like to admit, given he’s grown fond of his team and them acting like this will only make him feel like a father scolding his children for breaking a prized possession.

“Fix it, Spider-Man, or I will.”

“Yeah, right.” Peter snorted, “You can’t scare me Fury. I know all your tricks.”

“Want a bet?” A slight tilt of Fury’s head and his jaw clenching, Peter jumped back. Fury smirked, “I won’t say it again.”

Fury didn’t have to say it again, but he did have to force them himself. Peter ignored Fury’s threat and still went about his daily life like it was nothing. So, here they were, Nova and Spider-Man trapped in the training room. No windows to break. No door to force open. Complete and total lock down.

It was just Peter’s luck. He rolled his eyes beneath his mask.

Peter wasn’t looking at Sam as he fiddled with his web shooters. His feet were padded to the wall and he kept his gaze down. He could hear Sam making some form of noise, but he forced himself to not look and to not care. Granted, this was not the best way to deal with things, but it’s the only way Peter knows how. Ignore it until it goes away, but for some God-awful reason, Sam just won’t go away. 

He’s here and Peter can feel it. The prickle of his skin and the goosebumps shivering from the Nova Force. The warmth that flooded all around him because of it. The gentle blue glow that is always shining around him and getting in Peter’s vision. Peter could feel Sam with all of his senses and they were already heightened enough, now they were worse around him.

“What’s your problem, Webs-for-Brains?!” Sam finally spoke after a few minutes of silence, voice raised in a shout. Peter had to hand it to Sam, he was quieter than he thought, but the same goes for Peter.

“Nothing’s my problem.” Peter grumbled, still fiddling with his web shooters.

Sam grabbed the web shooter from Peter’s hand and tossed it behind him. Peter snapped his gaze up and even Sam could see the sneer beneath his mask. Though that did not deter Sam as he frowned and crossed his arms, hovering slightly in the air to be taller.

“What’s your problem?!” Peter countered, using his other web shooter to bring his thrown one back to him.

“My problem is you ignoring me! I didn’t do anything to you and you’ve been cold to me since I came back from space.”

Sam floated back when Peter put his feet down on the floor. The echo of it rang out and Peter rolled his shoulders like Sam was prey and Peter was the tiger. He stalked closer and Sam felt something burn in his throat as he floated away. He may have wanted Peter to speak to him, but this was different than he expected, so he kept his distance. Though it wasn’t working. And Peter being silent was even scarier. Peter kept going, maintaining eye contact and pushing Sam further back into the training room. He had Sam right where he wanted him.

“That right there, Nova. That’s my problem.” Peter finally spoke when Sam’s back hit the wall, chest heaving softly.

“What? Me coming back from space? You want me to go back, is that it, Peter?! Fine! I’ll… I’ll go back!” There was a slight crack in Sam’s voice.

“No you stupid idiot! I’m pissed at you for going to space in the first place! Pissed at you for basically dying and then returning when I was already mourning you. Pissed at you for proving how worthless of a leader I was being because I had no faith in your return. Pissed at myself for doubting and feeling this way.” Peter was more pissed that he was feeling this way, though he kept a steady voice with just a little bit of a shake.

The admission fell on them for a moment and it was quiet. Peter’s chest was more huffy than before, like a giant weight was lifted off of him. And it was. Though it didn’t hurt any less and didn’t make it any less real. His problem was so many problems and he just couldn’t understand why they couldn’t be solved.

Peter was unfocused for a bit. Seeming to have spaced out. He was brought back into reality when Sam’s hand gripped his bicep in a comforting manner. Peter looked at Sam through his mask and he felt like Sam was seeing through his mask and down to his very core. He wondered if the Nova Force actually did that for him, probably not. One can imagine though.

“You’re not a worthless hero or leader. You’re the original, and you helped us all.” It was all Sam could say without going deeper into his feelings.

Peter relaxed for a moment, you left me! It kept ringing in his mind and he went tense once more. Stepping back and letting Sam’s hand fall from his bicep. Peter wouldn’t allow himself to think this was all good for him, it never is. He never gets anything good, this is a trap.

“You were gone Sam! You died. I didn’t feel or hear a heartbeat. You died." He repeated. "You left.”

“I didn’t leave, Webs, I’m right here.” He spoke so softly, tenderly. 

“But you almost did.” Peter was not matching Sam’s tone, he was annoyed and hurt and angry.

“I couldn’t. Because I couldn’t fully leave you!”

Sam’s voice was raised, hands thrown in the air and he was frustrated. He couldn’t believe how dense Peter was being and how rude he was being. He came back for Peter and this is the thanks he gets. 

Peter stares at Sam, for once speechless instead of silent. His fingers flexed and he didn’t know what to do. Was it a confession? Did Sam feel the same way he did? Would this cause more problems in the future? No, it shouldn’t. They’ll just need to talk and work it out along the way. Why was Peter thinking of the future? Peter must’ve taken so long to answer or do something, Sam started to leave. Not wanting to stay any longer than needed, though who knows if he can get out.

Peter snapped into reality, he spun on his heels and shot a web at Sam. The web hit his shoulder and Peter tugged, though with his strength he basically dragged Sam closer. Sam stumbled and spun to face Peter. Peter had his mask off, blue eyes bright in the lights and a dark blush on the side of his necks and cheeks. He wasn’t going to chicken out. 

Peter tilted Sam’s helmet up a bit so it was easier. He didn’t fully take it off, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. His eyes flickered to each side and then into the white of Nova’s eyes. Sam did it for him, he took the helmet off the rest of the way. His hands over Peter’s hands. Warm and soft. Bony and comfortable. Their hands stayed clasped together and Sam may have had his helmet off, but he was still wearing his Nova suit. Though it was perfect, he was still shorter than Peter.

Their eyes never strayed from the other. Peter licked the inside of his cheek, heart pounding in his throat as he dipped his head down and nudged their noses together. “Is this… is this okay?” He asked. “I know there’s a lot we should talk about and sort out, but this feels right. We should do this first before doing anything else, so is it, you know, okay?” Peter couldn’t help but ramble, he was always good at talking. He couldn’t stop.

Sam’s smile lit up brighter than his Nova glow and he gave a nod. Cheeks flushing and eyes fluttering close as Peter closed the last remaining distance between them. Their lips were no longer ghosting as they pressed closer. Arms wrapped around another and breathing halting in their firm and gentle kiss. Their lips molded together and it felt all light and fluttery. Peter enjoyed this very much, he even pulled Sam closer by his hips and kissed him again after a split second of pulling away.

Even when the training doors unlocked, Peter kept giving gentle kisses to Sam’s lips. He didn’t seem to mind, given he all but melted into Peter’s embrace and smiled against his lips.

Chapter Text

In Sam’s eyes and mind, all he saw was a sickening darkness. He couldn’t feel his fingertips or his toes, and he really couldn’t feel his heart. It was unsettling in a way it felt natural to be dead, and he wasn’t sure if he liked that thought, but if he were dead… why could he feel the darkness? Why could he feel the unease and the death? 

Was he not actually dead?

There was a moment, a gasp and pain flared up before it healed. Warmth flooded him as something was holding onto him. Space was his home, but it felt so foreign in this strong touch of life. His eyes suddenly furrowed and it’s like all he could hear was Spider-Man’s -Peter’s- soft voice saying his name over and over in a sweet murmur it twisted the heart he thought wasn’t beating. He realized then, it was Peter who was holding him and when he was set back down in the ship, he opened his eyes like life re-entered his lungs and he coughed softly.

He was quick to stand up and he was inches away from Peter who stared at him like he was a ghost. Maybe he was, but he could wiggle his fingertips and roll to the balls of his feet and toes. Nope. He was alive, he probably had to thank his Nova Force for that. Sam couldn’t tell what Peter was thinking or doing beneath the mask, couldn’t tell what he was feeling and neither did Sam know his own emotions. He was dead, he thinks and now he’s here. With his old team and his new team’s leader.

The Guardians of the Galaxy needed him, this mission proved it. He needed them, too. He missed space and he missed Rocket and Gamora and everyone else. His heart settled when he looked at Spider-Man who was just standing there like a statue. 

“I think I’m going to stay,” Sam said when Peter Quill told him they needed help, “They’re my team as well, and they need me.”

Sam bit his lower lip when there was a little sag in Peter’s shoulders, but as quick as it happened, it was gone. He had perfect posture for a hero with everything weighing down on him, now more than ever.

“Oh.” Peter said, voice quieter than what Sam was used to, “Then I can’t stop you. I’ll… I’ll let everyone know, thank you.” It felt like a dismissal in a heartache and Sam wondered if he was making the best choice.

But that thought left his mind when Peter stuck his hand out to shake and Nova gripped it. Firm and grateful, but deeply saddened by this turn of events. How a handshake spoke volumes in a simple action was beyond Sam, or maybe it was because Sam wanted it to mean something. He shouldn’t be reading in between the lines, but he felt like he could feel Peter’s calloused hands through his gloves and it made his heart flurry in a way that made him feel like he was going a thousand miles per hour in seconds.

When their hands dropped after holding for so long, Sam saw the tilt of Peter’s head. Looking out the window in the spacecraft to see all the shining stars, and when Sam looked out, too… It looked dull. Something serene and quiet washed over them. Sam and Peter rarely ever had civilized conversations, but even their arguments sounded better than this suffocating silence that washed over them.

Though Sam felt like it would ruin whatever was between them if he opened his mouth, Peter was unusually quiet, so Sam would remain quiet in his thoughts. 

When the ship landed, the whirr of it stirred Sam out of his thoughts as he followed Peter out to Earth one last time. Feet floating above the steps and when Peter landed on the gravel of the road, he turned to face Sam. Sam’s breath hitched, he could almost imagine the softened eyes beneath the mask of Spider-Man, he could imagine it was Peter staring at him. Sam’s fingers twitched, he almost took his helmet off, but this parting was between hero and hero, not friends.

“Good luck out there, Bucket-Head.” Peter said and Sam could just hear the smile in his voice, somehow Peter’s smile was louder than Sam’s heart.

Something Sam wasn’t used to.

“You too, Web-Head.” Sam responded, so soft that it even sounded foreign to his own ears.

Without another word or thought, he turned and flew back up in the ship. He bit his lower lip again and wondered what this feeling was. He didn’t understand it, nor did he like it. It was hollow and empty and suddenly he was missing something he just left.

Sam floated to the ship’s window, not hearing Rocket telling him to take his seat. He slowly took his helmet off and looked out the window. He could see Peter beneath him, watching their ship take off and Sam didn’t leave the window until Earth was a tiny speck. Until Peter was a tiny speck. 

Sam sat down, helmet to his left and he stared at his hands. His green eyes looked dark with space reflecting in them and he was almost… Sad? Confused? Hurt? Why was he having such mixed emotions on leaving Earth, his team… Peter.

Peter.

Peter.

Peter.

Peter Parker.

“Oh just go to him, Sam. You’re bringing us down, too, with your mood.” Gamora said, huffing as she cleaned her sword.

Sam snapped his head up, a bit startled by her admission, but when he looked at the rest of them, they nodded. Sure, they wanted Sam back, wanted Nova back, but his journey ended with them a long time ago. He was needed on Earth and it seemed Sam needed someone on Earth, too. 

Sam said nothing, he barely gave a nod as he put his helmet back on. He was quick, Jax was at the door with a space helmet on to close it behind Sam. When there was the smallest crack that Sam could fit through, he flew off without a thought, shaking the ship in the process from his movement. He didn’t care. He didn’t want to leave Peter, watching him out the window proved that.

Sam spent hours flying back, making him wonder just how far the spacecraft traveled and just how long he was gone. Though, when he entered Earth, it was proven to just being gone a single night, so he didn’t miss much. He was very thankful for that. Sam went to look for his team. It didn’t take him long to find them and when he did, he could hear the soft and high praise of Peter talking about Nova.

It made Sam a little smug and his heart beat just a bit faster than what was determined normal. He floated down behind Peter, mimicking his hand gestures and opening and closing his mouth in a quiet mock. Sam smirked when he got Ava to try and hide her giggle, sometimes it was hard trying to get her to laugh, so this was a win. 

Though shortly after it didn’t feel that way. 

Sam must’ve looked a little too smug for the Spider’s liking as his mask twisted. Sam couldn’t see it, but he could feel the anger, and that confused him. He wasn’t sure why Peter was angry. He’s returned, that’s all that mattered. Before Sam could blink, he could feel Peter’s knuckles on his chest through his Nova suit and the wind pulsed around him as he was sent flying back. He hit a building, mind in a daze and breath coming out weakly as the wind was knocked out of his lungs. He shook his head and looked at his teams, eyes a little fuzzy, but he couldn’t see Peter.

When he flew back to his team, and his mind officially cleared, Peter -in fact- was gone and he looked at them. “What’s his problem? I thought he would be happy, given how he was talking about me!” Sam could feel the irritation.

“You idiot.” Ava said, shaking her head.

“I’m not telling you.” Luke shrugged.

Sam looked at Danny for answers and Danny merely smiled, “One’s soul is enlightened by one’s eyes.” And that didn’t help whatsoever.

Sam wanted to yank out his hair or take his helmet off and fall to his doom, but he had more important matters. Like finding Peter. Luke pointed into the direction Peter went and Sam gave the briefest smile before flying off. He was fast, faster than Peter’s webs, so he should be able to catch up to him in no time. Sam came to a sudden stop in the air when he thought he saw a red and blue shadow in between the shadow of a building. He flew back, but it was gone. 

Sam knows it wasn’t his imagination, which meant Peter was avoiding him now and that hurt. He came back for Peter and now he’s the one that’s gone? Sam was not going to allow that to happen, he will get through Peter’s walls once more.

If it took all his time and if it took everything he has, Peter will talk to him again.

Now, even with this resolve, Peter somehow managed to avoid him. During school he made himself invisible and slipped through the sea of students. During lunch he was with MJ and Harry and he wouldn’t allow Sam near them. MJ would give him reassuring smiles and a softened pity gaze, but that never helped. Classes where they sat near each other, Peter was quiet and wouldn’t respond to anything Sam said. Not his name. Not some stupid comment. Not a joke. And not even when Sam messed up so bad, Peter would call him stupid, but he didn’t even tilt his head. 

During training, Peter was quick to lead them into their skills and fight off whatever Fury planned for them and then he was gone. When fighting as a team against an actual big bad, they would win with minimal damage and when Sam would turn around to face Peter, he was gone. Sam thought he could handle it and stay the same while trying to think of ways for Peter to talk to him, but he was sorely mistaken.

Each time Peter avoided him as Sam or Nova, he felt more and more like a kicked puppy. At this point he’d rather be tied with cinder blocks and dropped into a river or the ocean to drown. This feeling was weighing down on him and in return, it weighed down the team. Peter might be angry and hurt, but Sam was just hurt.

Sam thinks he might want to cry. 

“You’re not focused, Nova.” Fury said to him when Nova decided to do some one on one training with himself. “If you can’t get it together, I’ll be taking you off the field until further notice.”

Now, that was a good idea. If Nova wasn’t up to his full health and standards, his distractions could put others and himself at risk. Innocent lives and his teammates lives, he wouldn’t be able to live with that. But. He also wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t go out on the field and they got hurt because of him, he’d never forgive himself either. It was a lose-lose situation.

Sam felt a little irritated and angry at Fury’s words. He kicked a shattered robot head he just defeated, “Blame Spider-Man, he won’t talk to me. Stupid bug.” He could almost hear Peter correcting him, arachnid, he’d say.

Fury narrowed his eye, hands clasped behind his back. “I’ll talk to him.” He kept it brief.

Sam snorted, “Yeah right. You’ll make it worse.”

Fury tilted his head, “If I make it worse it’s because you both are stubborn. Trust me, Spider-Man will have this problem fixed, or I will fix it. Remember who you’re talking to.” Fury smirked and Sam shivered.

Sam definitely does not want Fury to fix it his own way, so he prays Peter will actually heed Fury’s warning. There’s so many possibilities Fury could do to make them highly uncomfortable and to make them sweat a little for his own amusement. Sure, Fury would want them to be a team again, but he’ll also take pleasure in torturing them in a way that wasn’t actually torture. Sam is not looking forward to that. 

Days later, Fury grabbed Sam by his shoulder and dragged him away. He just accepted it, knowing Peter not listening to him was the cause for this, he hoped Fury would be going easy on them. Hope that Fury didn’t have the patience to watch them squirm and laugh at their misery, Sam might not be able to handle it.

And his thoughts were answered, at least they were locked in a room with no doors or windows, that seemed better than anything else Fury could’ve done. Complete and total lockdown.

Sam’s eyes narrowed beneath his helmet as he watched Peter gracefully pull himself to the wall with his fingertips. Feet planted to it as he stuck to it and messed with his web-shooters. Sam was willing to bet nothing needed to be done to them, but he was just passing the time and ignoring Sam like he’s been doing for weeks. 

It was starting to irritate Sam.

So, Sam did his best to annoy Peter. Sticking so close to him he was like his webs without actually being in his personal space. He kept kicking some of the metal and letting it scatter across the training room with clinking noises and he even knocked on his own helmet for a different effect, but nothing. There was nothing. Peter still ignored him and tough-luck for Peter, Sam wasn’t going anywhere. 

“What’s your problem, Webs-for-Brains?” Sam finally asked after the suffocating silence. His voice was louder than intended, but this had been building up for quite some time.

Not to mention he stayed quiet (in a way that didn’t mean speaking, not the noise making) longer than usual. He was hoping Peter would break the silence and be the first to sweat into an apology, but it seemed he would not be getting that. That tore at Sam’s heart just a little.

“Nothing’s my problem.” The response came in a grumble. 

The sound of Peter’s web-shooters still being messed with made Sam snap. Why couldn’t Peter just look at him?! He snatched the object away from Peter, he wanted to crush them, but Peter spent a lot of time on them, so he just threw them behind him. He expected the sneer through the mask, didn’t mean it hurt any less with it directed at him. 

“What’s your problem?” Peter counted, and Sam watched the web fly out of his web-shooter that Sam didn’t take to latch onto the tossed one.

“My problem is you ignoring me!” There was a subtle crack in his voice, but neither noticed. “I didn’t do anything to you and you’ve been cold to me since I’ve returned from space.”

Sam will deny the tears welling up beneath his helmet that he was able to blink away. Would deny not feeling his heart in just the same way when he felt dead when floating in space. Peter didn’t need to know these feelings if he hated him that much. Sam didn’t want to know these feelings. 

Sam’s throat felt tight and his Adam’s Apple bobbed when Peter finally stepped onto the ground. Sam didn’t like the way Peter went into an almost predatory stance and mode. Just because Peter was a spider it didn’t mean Sam was a fly or a bug getting caught in his web, though it felt like it. Sam’s heart started beating erratically as he floated backwards to keep the distance between them.

He didn’t like Peter edging closer in a stalk while he kept going backwards. If the training room had been any lighter, Sam thinks not even the glow from his powers would be able to find Peter. He’d camouflage easily into the shadows, though that could also be the fear and doubt in his mind. The Nova Force knew Peter by heart. 

The light in him was different when Peter was around, it was a different buzz. Warm and welcoming. Everyone else felt the same, but Peter was distinct. Different in a good way. Which is why it hurt to be ignored and why despite floating backwards, he was still subconsciously reaching out for his leader, for Peter. 

Though he didn’t have to reach out for long as his back hit the wall and he was basically caged in. Peter filled the silence he put between them, the nerd probably wanted to prove a point. Sam almost wanted to laugh. 

“That right there, Nova. That’s my problem.”

And that surprised Sam. “What?” It was almost a squeak. Sam clenched his fists. “Me coming back from space? You want me to go back, is that it, Peter?! Fine! I’ll… I’ll go back!” That crack in his voice returned, but this time, both noticed. Sam might actually start sobbing if Peter tells him to go.

“No you stupid idiot! I’m pissed at you for going to space in the first place! Pissed at you for basically dying and then returning when I was already mourning you. Pissed at you for proving how worthless of a leader I was being because I had no faith in your return. Pissed at myself for doubting and feeling this way.”

Sam went just as quiet as Peter. He was startled by the first sentence and then his mind silently spiraled the more Peter talked. It was a lot to unpack and even though Peter wants him here, he still feels like sobbing. Peter saw him die, thought he was dead. He gave up and feels worthless as a hero and as a leader. He mourned Sam and then accepted he wasn’t coming back and mourned him again in the comfort of his own bed. Then Sam’s shows back up and every feeling they suppressed started to surface in the most unconventional way. 

Peter’s chest was heaving, and Sam’s hands shook a little bit. The admission was hung between them, less of a burden, but still just as painful. Sam swallowed thickly, his throat felt dry. He reached out and grabbed Peter’s bicep gently. Once more taken back by the muscles and strength, but even more so the warmth that flooded through his nerves at the contact. 

“You’re not a worthless hero or leader. You’re the original, and you helped us all.” It was all Sam could say without going deeper into his feelings.

Though he was sure the silence before he spoke actual words spoke his feelings. 

Peter relaxed but then tensed immediately after. When he stepped back and Sam’s hand fell, Sam was just about to go curl up in a ball in the dark corner. His hand felt cold and these emotions swirling up couldn’t be shoved down. 

“You were gone Sam! You died. I didn’t feel or hear a heartbeat. You died." He repeated. "You left.”

“I didn’t leave, Webs, I’m right here.” He spoke so softly, tenderly.  

“But you almost did.” Peter was not matching Sam’s tone; he was annoyed and hurt and angry.

"I couldn’t. Because I couldn’t fully leave you!” Sam’s voice was raised, hands thrown in the air and he was frustrated. He couldn’t believe how dense Peter was being and how rude he was being. He came back for Peter, and this is the thanks he gets. 

Sam almost slapped his hand over his mouth when he realized what he said. He was drawn to Peter, always has been and now being pushed away was hurting him like no other. And when Peter didn’t say anything, Sam got the hint. He was quick to walk past him, hoping to find a way out so he could fly off somewhere and be alone, but he barely got anywhere. 

He heard it first, then felt the web to his shoulder. Honestly, if Sam hadn’t been wearing his Nova uniform he might have flown back to Peter through the air instead of stumbling closer. Sam bit the inside of his cheek and spun to face Peter, ready to tell him off for being so inconsiderate but he stopped. His stomach fluttered and the breath in his throat clogged up.

Peter had his mask off. Sam could finally see his expressions and know what he was feeling. The soft twinkle in his pretty bright blue eyes and the blush creeping up his neck and cheeks. It was cute really and Sam could feel the warmth flooding his own cheeks. He wasn’t going to take his helmet off, wanting to be tougher than Peter, but Peter started it for him.

Sam remained frozen, letting Peter tilt it up a bit and he waited patiently. Not really. When Sam realized Peter stopped because of boundaries and being the good person he is, Sam got the courage and did it for him. Sam loved the feel of Peter’s hands beneath his, which made him feel connected. He fully took his helmet off, eyes on the ground and then they flickered to Peter’s. Green and blue never looked so ethereal until this moment and it felt so right. 

Peter continued whatever it was he was doing before. His head dipped down, and the tips of their noses touched in a flutter of a nudge and Sam really couldn’t feel his heart this time. “Is this… Is this okay?” He asked, and Sam wanted to scream it’s more than okay! But Peter kept going. “I know there’s a lot we should talk about and sort out, but this feels right. We should do this first before doing anything else, so is it, you know, okay?” God his ramble was so cute, Sam adored it.

Adored him.

Sam couldn’t help but smile, wide and genuine and so bright. He couldn’t form any words, not even in a whisper, so he nodded. His eyes fluttered shut and his head tilted up only slightly for the taller male to have an easier access to his lips. Sam no longer had to imagine the ghost of Peter’s lips now that he was fully feeling them. 

The kiss was everything and more. Firm. Gentle. Loving. Their arms wrapped around each other to further emphasize the warmth spreading between them and the unspoken feelings and emotions over these past few months. 

Sam never wanted to stop kissing Peter as he stuck to him like melted butter.