Chapter 1: MINECRAFT MOVIE
Chapter Text
The two men strolled out of the movie theater with smirks on their faces before they stopped at the entrance.
“I knew our movie, The Minecraft Movie, was gonna be a hit! Especially with my amazing acting.” Said Jack Black.
“Heh, yeah, totally!” Jason Momoa nodded.
“Wanna check out that creepy ass abandoned building we saw on our drive here?”
“Hell yeah.”
Jack blac and Jason Momo strolled up to the car with amazing swagger. They hopped in and drove to the strange building… Because that’s a very smart thing to do.
They walked into the building and looked around.
“Yo, Jack! Look!! VR Headsets!!!!!!” exclaimed mom.
“Yes!!! Lets put them on and play minecaft!!”
And so they did.
AND then it went all to black….
Suddenly he woke up next to a figure he didnt recognize, looking around.
“Whyat the??? WHERE AM I??q???”
Suddenly a pair of dentures popped up.
“Helloo my new pink poodle pompadoors!!!! You’re now in what we call, ‘The Amazing Digital Circus!!!”
He looked over at a mirror and couldnt recognize himself for a second, before he came to the realization he was now a jaundiced purple rabbit with poor dental hygiene. Next to… A strange froggy man????
“What the shit?”
“Soooo, whats youre name???Q?”
“Uhhh??? I dont remember….” He considered for a moment. “Call me… Jax…”
“And you?” the tooth man looked over at the frog.
“Erm… Idk man you pick”
“How about Ribbit???”
“Meh why the hell not.”
JAX and raiibbit locked eyes. Jsacks frowned, he only remrmbeed that he had put on a headset with his friend after bing a in movie!!!!!!!!!
“The author is too lazy to explain the rest of this, so we’re having a time skip!!!” exclaimed teeth man Caine
“What do you mean by that….””
After a few years of homoerotic tension (IM NOT SHIPPING THE ACTORS BTW. JUST IN CASE.) and stupid ass games, rIbbit abstract. :( But now there was a new girl, Pomni!!! dennis.
That morning Caine called them all to the room.
“Heeey my skibidi sigmas!” Announced dental plan. “For today's adventure…. We're gonna play minecraft in real life!!!”
Minecraft……. Why did that sound so familiar????
They suddenly teleported to a bloxy world.
“Omg, this is just like the Minecraft movie i watched in theaters!! :D” exclaimed Pomni with uncharacteristic whimsy.
MINECRAFT MOOBVIE???
Jax’s chest suddenly felt tight, and his eyes widened, memories flooding back. He tried to brush it off, but RAGAtha saw him shaking
“Hey, Jax, are you okay…? You’re trembling–”
“No… THIS CANT BE….!!!!!!!” He fell to his knees, screaming
“what the freak…?” mutter poni
“Is he on crack?” Asked Zooble.
He screamed for a solid minute and a half while everyone exchanged confused looks before he abruptly locked in and stood up.
“I…” He announced “ AM steve.”
hE then transformed into a low quality png of Jack Black during trhe minecraft lava chicken scene
“WHAT THE FUCK? JACK BLACK?!!” they all gasped
Chapter 2
Notes:
i think im like having the opposite of ao3 author's curse happening to me because i posted that chapter yesterday and had like the best day in months??? anyway this chapter wasn't beta read but i talked to my friends about the concept for this one too and they keep giving me validation so yay!!!
Chapter Text
Caine stood their confused as all the circus members gawked at the low quality png of Jack Black
“Uhhh?? How did that… Happen???”
“Chicken jockey!”
“Is this some new form of abstraction???” Asked Kinger, already with full netherite armor
“Well… I’m gonna go try to find out what happened, you guys just… Play the game?” Caine then disappeared
“WE NEED TO GET TO THE NETHER!!!!!!1” Yelled Jax Black
Ragatha stood there in confusion at the whole situation, while kinger gav everyone spare netherite armor he got for plot reasons
“we need obsidian” jax
jackx black.png went into /creative and built a nether portal and everyone jumped in
thy kill the piglins!!!
“aight now we gotta go to the end”
“the end?” ask raggedy ann
“ARE WE GONNA DIE?!!!” said kinger calmly
“Yall are so old omg…” mutter the mismatched toy piano queer creature thing
“THE END1!! uh wait lemme just” he ripped off pomnis hat
“GIVE THAT BACK???” exclaim ponmimi as jax lack as he pulled out 64 eyes of ender from pomnjij hat
“LETS GOOOO”
They did the macarena upside down 45 times in a row and teleported to end portal and put eye there
“we gatta kill the ednr dragon”
“dragon deez nu–” said a random npc before they spontaneously combusted
They all pulled out their netheritre swords and ran at the ender dragon
everyone except one person wa s immediately flung into a nearby pillar
but then there was a n explosion sound and they all lookeed up to see Kinger standing victorious over the ender dragons carcass
\
“we did it!! now the spell is gone!!!” yelled jax black with glee
“NO!!! STAY AS JACK BLACK!!” said poni
“wtf why”
“because minecraft and also you suck”
“fuck you”
he then did a magical girl transformation back into his normal jaundiced self while pomni sighed
“has nobody paid any attention to how gangle has been gone for the entire chapter???” pointed out zoob;e
“oh shit yeah where is she??? lets go check” they all did some cool backflips and saw the most extrvagant mansion with 6473676 minecraft cats with Gangle sitting out front
“oh hi guys!! look at my cats :3”
suddenly caine reappeared
“oh you found the cure? cool, now im gonna play basic music from 90% of 2010’s kids movies!!!”
then they all breakdanced