Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“No.”

Jack wanted so badly to stop it. He wanted to rip Dean off that stupid rebar, reconnect the broken skin, severed arteries, and damaged muscle tissue, scold him for being so careless, and send him on his way. It would be so easy. 

But Dean didn’t want to be saved. It didn’t take the power of God to see Dean’s lack of regard for his own mortality—Jack could see it in his eyes.

Cloaked in invisibility, Jack watched as Dean’s body went limp and a weeping Sam clutched his brother. He heard the desperate prayer, Sam’s shattered words seeping into his head, begging for him to break his commitment to being hands off. Begging for his help.

“I want to, Sam,” Jack wailed into a void. “I can’t help him!”

He choked out a sob, scrunched up his eyes, and dropped his head as a few tears tumbled down his cheeks. He could have suppressed it all, but he didn’t want to. Dean’s despair was devastating to him and to stop himself from feeling it, showing it, just felt wrong—even if no one else could see him. 

When they’re gone, it will hurt. But that hurt will remind you how much you loved them.

Slowly, Jack lifted his gaze.

“But I know someone who can.”

*

It was dark. Quiet. Empty.

Jack crept carefully through the barren space. He had already encountered the Shadow and put it instantly to sleep. He had enough on his plate without having to deal with mind games courtesy of a snarky cosmic entity.

A few more steps towards the warmth that had been drawing him in from the moment he stepped through the portal, and… there.

The tan trench coat was fanned out over his unconscious body. His arms were at right angles on either side of his face, his right cheek pressed into the unseeable ground.

Jack raced to his father and crouched down next to his arm.

“Castiel,” Jack hissed, reaching out to jostle the angel’s shoulder.

Castiel’s eyes snapped open so quickly that Jack startled, falling backwards and landing on his ass.

“Castiel!” Jack exclaimed, scrambling forward as Castiel groaned and pushed himself up off the ground.

“Jack?” Castiel said bewilderedly, his eyes wide as he sat back on the heels of his feet.

Jack swallowed, resting a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s me.”

Castiel reached under Jack’s arm to haul them both upright, before flinging his arms around Jack’s body and squeezing tight.

Jack turned his head and pressed his cheek firmly against Castiel’s chest as he fisted his hands in the back of his father’s trench coat.

“I missed you so much,” Jack whispered, clenching his eyes shut.

Castiel pecked a kiss on the top of his head. “I missed you, too.”

After a few more moments, Castiel broke their embrace and held Jack at an arm’s length.

“What happened, Jack? You shouldn’t be here,” Castiel said, his eyes full of distress.

“It’s okay! I’m not dead,” Jack reassured him, seeing relief instantly flooding the angel’s features. “Actually, I’m the new God now—Chuck is gone.”

Castiel’s reprieve was fleeting, his face twisting into a look of concern. “Wha— I don’t under…” Castiel trailed off as his eyes darted up and down Jack’s form. “I’m so sorry, Jack,” he sighed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from such a burden.”

Jack looked at him sadly. “I’m sorry I didn’t come and save you sooner. I wanted to, so much. But I said I wouldn’t interfere. I didn’t want to be just like Chuck,” Jack explained hastily before dropping his voice low. “A-and, I thought you died happy.”

Castiel smiled. “I did.”

Jack looked at him blankly for a few moments. “You’re not, though.”

It was the slightest flinch. Had Jack not been the literal Almighty, he might have missed it.

“I know you convinced the Shadow, and maybe even yourself in a way, that just saying it was enough,” Jack barreled on. “But, it doesn’t have to be enough. Dean loves you, Cas.”

The angel looked confused for a few moments before he shook his head, smiling fondly. “Jack, I know Dean loves me. I’ve known that a long time. But how I love him, it’s just different.”

“No, see, you don’t understand. He loves you exactly the same way you love him,” Jack implored as Castiel continued shaking his head. “You don’t know what losing you does to him, Cas.”

Castiel furrowed his brow. “I’m sure it saddens him greatly. But Dean has had to deal with so much loss in his life. And if Chuck is gone, now, maybe, he can finally build the life that he wants and be happy.”

“No, he can’t, Cas! He’s dead!” Jack yelled as Castiel recoiled. “He lost you and then he just gave up.”

Castiel stood frozen for a few moments. Slowly, he raised a shaky hand to his mouth and muffled a small sob.

Jack swallowed. “I’m so sorry. But I want to fix it. We can fix it.”

A look of desperation etched its way onto Castiel’s mournful face.

“Jack. If you can fix it, please fix it! You don’t need me.”

“Yes, I do! Don’t you see? He needs you, so I need you. He loves you, Castiel.”

“You’re wrong, Jack!”

“No, I’m not! And if you don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you!”

Jack slammed his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, and they disappeared from the Empty with a flutter of wings.

Chapter Text

Castiel stumbled slightly when they landed. He glanced around his surroundings, trying to orient himself. They appeared to be in a motel room. He’d been in so many throughout his years of knowing the Winchesters. This particular one, he didn’t recognize. The room was dim, tinged with a small stream of red light from the neon motel sign peeking through a gap in the curtains. There were two queen beds, each occupied by a single person, if the lumps under the dark green covers were any indication. The figure in the left bed moved, and Castiel knew exactly who it was when he caught sight of the spiky, light brown head of hair turning violently. Castiel gasped before throwing a hand over his mouth.

“He can’t hear you,” Jack said softly. “He won’t be able to see you either.”

Castiel dropped his hand and turned to his son with a perplexed look.

“Jack, what is this!? What’s going on?”

“You wouldn’t believe me,” Jack replied, the hurt on his face tugging painfully at a spot inside Castiel’s chest.

“Jack,” Castiel whispered. “I—”

“It’s okay, Cas,” Jack interjected, his lips pulling up in a sad smile. “I understand. You and Dean, it’s… complicated.”

Castiel swallowed thickly. ‘Complicated’ seemed accurate, if not an astronomical understatement.

“But if you could see the things that I can see,” Jack continued, a hint of determination seeping into his tone, “the moments you’re not around, or just not paying attention to the right thing… You’ll see it, I have faith that you’ll see it.”

Still unsure, Castiel nodded his head hesitantly. “So, where are we now?”

“Coeur d'Alene, Idaho,” Jack replied. “In the year 2012.”

Castiel’s eyes widened. “What!? Jack, you weren’t even born yet. How do you even know about this?”

Jack smiled proudly. “Call it perks of the new job.”

Before Castiel could ask another question, the rustle of bed linen sounded. Castiel turned and watched Dean toss and turn again. He started whimpering, his eyes screwed firmly shut as he flinched, the nightmare plaguing his sleep obviously causing him deep distress.

Castiel stepped forward but Jack stopped him, putting a hand on his chest.

“You can’t help him, Castiel,” Jack advised. “This moment has already happened. We’re just here to observe.”

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows in concern but nodded his acceptance. He turned back to continue watching Dean, jumping when Dean suddenly sat bolt upright, waking with a gasp.

Dean breathed rapidly for a few moments, bringing his legs up so he could rest his elbows against his knees. He dropped his head, staying in that position until his breathing finally slowed.

“Fuck,” Dean whispered, scrubbing his hands against his face. He turned his body to peer over at Sam, staring at his brother for a few seconds. Sam remained still, emitting soft snores as he slept.

Dean swung his legs off the bed. As he carefully stood up, the floor creaked and his head snapped to Sam. When his brother still didn’t move, he started creeping across the floor until he reached his duffel bag, sitting at the foot of the bed. Bending down, Dean reached for the zip, tugging it slowly open. Dean dug through the bag, the motion delicate and deliberate as though he knew exactly what he wanted and where to find it. Holding a stack of clothes out of the way with one hand, Dean reached into the bottom of the bag to retrieve the item he wanted.

“Is that—” Cas breathed out.

“Yes,” Jack confirmed.

Dean stood up with Castiel’s trench coat clenched in his hands. It was the one he was wearing when he walked into the reservoir, full to the brim with leviathans. He knew Dean had retrieved it, cleaned it, and carried it around with him, waiting for his return.

A part of me always knew you were coming back.

He didn’t realize this.

Dean padded back to his bed and slid under the covers. He glanced over at the other bed again, seemingly to make sure Sam was still fast asleep, before folding the trench coat over once and shuffling down the bed. As he wriggled around to get comfortable, he held the trench coat tight against his chest and softly nuzzled the collar against his face. It wasn’t long until the Dean’s breathing slowed and it was clear he’d fallen into a more restful slumber.

Jack gestured towards Dean’s sleeping body. “See?”

Castiel just kept watching Dean through squinted eyes. This was confusing, yes, but it didn’t necessarily mean Dean was in love with him.

Jack smiled. “You know what?” he started. “Don’t say anything yet, there is actually so much I can show you. Hold on.”

When Castiel felt Jack touch his arm, the motel disappeared.

*

He had been prepared for the transition this time, so he didn’t stumble upon landing. He did stumble, however, when he took in his surroundings. Trees. Bodies. Bleakness. They were in Purgatory. Castiel whirled around to face Jack, who was looking the complete contrast of their environment, his youthful, smiling face full of hope.

Before he could interrogate Jack over their presence here, the sound of stomping footsteps moving towards them drew his attention. With the snapping of a twig, an angry-looking Dean covered head to toe in grime stormed out from behind a tree, with Benny following closely behind.

“Dammit, Dean! How much longer do we gotta keep searching for your angel?” Benny shouted.

“We’re done when we find him,” Dean gritted, without looking back.

Castiel scrunched up his face as the memories of Purgatory raced through his mind. The running. Hiding. Listening to Dean’s increasingly desperate prayers and ignoring every instinct that told him to fly immediately to his side.

“Give it up, cher!” Benny continued arguing. “He clearly don’t wanna be found.”

Dean ignored him as he kept moving forward.

“What is your thing with this guy, Dean? Is finding the flighty asshole who abandoned you really worth getting us both killed?”

The movement was so quick, Castiel jumped. Dean whirled around, grasped Benny by the shirtfront, and slammed him against a tree.

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Dean sneered.

The pair glared at each other for a few moments.

“We’re finding him,” Dean said in a way that left no room for argument.

“Or we’ll die trying.”

“WELL THEN WE’LL DIE!”

Dean was breathing heavily now, his fingers white-knuckle gripping Benny’s shirt.

“Brotha, he might not even make it through the portal,” Benny said, softening his tone.

A fearful expression flashed across Dean’s face as his grasp on Benny’s shirt loosened.

“I can’t leave him behind, Benny,” Dean whispered, sniffing and clearing his throat as though he was fighting back the urge to cry.

Benny assessed him for a few moments before nodding. “Okay, Dean, I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Dean dropped his grip and turned, marching forward without hesitation. “Not at all,” he muttered.

As Dean and Benny darted around the trees and disappeared from sight, Castiel turned back to face Jack.

“He was never going to leave you behind because he loves you, Castiel,” Jack said with certainty.

Castiel shook his head. “Dean was never going to leave me behind because he felt responsible for me,” Castiel corrected. “He felt like I was his burden.”

Jack smacked a hand over his face. “Seriously Cas!?” He sighed dramatically. “Okay, if that’s not going to convince you, maybe this will.”

This time, Castiel held his arm out as Jack strode towards him. He exhaled in relief as Jack tapped his arm and Purgatory disappeared from view.

*

When his new surroundings came into focus, Castiel found himself staring at… himself. They were in Rexford, standing outside the Gas-N-Sip where Castiel had spent countless hours microwaving burritos, selling lottery tickets, and cleaning toilets. At this moment, they were watching 2013 Castiel through the window, who was standing behind the cash register and ringing up a pack of cigarettes for a tired-looking trucker.

“I don’t understand. Jack?” Castiel murmured, keeping his eyes locked on his human past-self as he tilted his head in confusion.

“Turn around, Castiel,” Jack stated, his tone even with a sense of calm.

Castiel whirled around and his eyes widened when he caught sight of the Impala. Dean was standing behind it, his elbow resting against its roof and his gaze focused firmly on the Castiel serving customers behind the glass.

“Why is he watching me?” Castiel asked curiously.

“Because he’s in love with you!” Jack blustered.

Castiel squinted his eyes. “I don’t think so, Jack,” he said. “The last time he saw me, he kicked me out of the bunker, something I know caused him a great deal of guilt. I think he’s just stalling, prolonging the moment he inevitably has to come and talk to me about the case he’s here for.”

Jack glanced back at Dean, who was now biting his lip, his eyeline never wavering from the other Castiel.

“That isn’t guilt, Castiel,” Jack said with certainty. “It’s longing.”

They watched Dean for a few more moments. Wordlessly, Jack reached out to Castiel’s arm to make their next leap through time and space.

*

“I mean, shouldn't it be Deastiel?”

“Really? That's your issue with this?”

Castiel and Jack’s new location found them standing next to the Impala. Close by, the Winchester brothers were walking towards them and having some sort of brotherly tiff.

“What are they arguing about?” Castiel asked.

Jack smiled knowingly. “They’re on a case at a school where the students are putting on a musical based on the Supernatural novels. Dean has just discovered that the ‘ship’ name for the two of you is Destiel.”

“I’m sorry, ‘ship’ name?” Castiel queried, mirroring Jack’s use of air quotes.

“It’s what they call the amalgamation of two people’s names when fans of a media are eager for them to be paired romantically,” Jack clarified.

Castiel pondered this for a moment. “And, people have this desire for Dean and me?”

“They do,” Jack confirmed. “Even teenagers can see how blatantly obvious it is that the two of you are in love with each other.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and continued watching the brothers’ exchange.

“How about Sastiel? Samstiel?” Sam contemplated playfully.

“Ok, alright. You know what?” Dean grumbled. “You're gonna do that thing, where you just shut the hell up. Forever.”

Castiel cringed. “It would appear Sam is more open to the idea of being in a romantic relationship with me than Dean is.”

Jack huffed dramatically. “Castiel, Sam is treating it with a sense of frivolity because it bears no underlying meaning to him. But Dean, for him, it hits a nerve. Just, keep watching.”

The Winchester brothers walked to their respective car doors when Sam paused and looked at Dean curiously.

“CasDean?”

“Shut your face!” Dean yelled, pointing angrily at Sam. “Get in the car.”

Sam looked sheepish, then hurriedly followed his brother’s instructions.

Before driving off, Dean paused for a moment and took a breath. Through the window, Castiel could clearly see that he was flushing red.

“He’s embarrassed,” Castiel deflated. “The idea of being with me is embarrassing to him.”

Jack let out a frustrated groan. “Oh sure, that must be it. It couldn’t possibly be that he’s embarrassed about having his secret feelings for you exposed,” Jack said, his tone positively dripping with sarcasm.

Castiel side-eyed him, to which Jack responded with a wide grin.

“If you’re wondering where I learned sarcasm from, that would be you,” Jack beamed.

Castiel shook his head. “I’m a terrible influence.”

As the Winchesters drove away, Jack turned to Castiel, the look of worry etched into his features evaporating the levity of the moment prior.

“Our next stop is a tough one, Castiel,” Jack warned sorrowfully. “I’m sorry you have to see this, but it’s important.”

Castiel braced himself, closing his eyes as he waited for the expected touch and release of Jack’s hand. When he felt Jack’s hand leave his body, he slowly peeled his eyes open.

*

A blanket of stars illuminated the lake in North Cove, Washington. The rip that Jack had managed to create in utero glimmered in the darkness, the orange glow sparking as Mary charged towards Lucifer. She pushed him through the portal, an act of heroism that she paid for by being dragged through right alongside him.

The inside of the lake house lit up—Jack’s birth was imminent. Sam ran towards the house, leaving Dean distraught and frozen in place. Of course he would be distressed, his mother had been pulled into an apocalypse world. But he wasn’t staring at the point where Mary disappeared. No, his vision was cast downward, eyes fixed on the body lying motionless in the dirt—Castiel’s body.

Now-Castiel placed a hand over his mouth as he watched Dean fall to his knees. The hunter gazed up at the sky for a few moments before his head fell forward to watch Castiel’s still face again. The light and sound from inside the lake house eventually pulled Dean’s attention and he raced inside.

“I’m just going to fast forward a little,” Jack said, snapping his fingers.

Castiel squinted against the sudden glare of sunlight, jumping when he heard the front door of the lake house slam open. 

Dean came thundering down the stairs, a look of stoicism on his face. Sam followed behind him, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.

“Dean.”

“I got it, Sam.”

“Dean, I can help.”

“I SAID I GOT IT!”

Castiel tilted his head in confusion as he watched Sam give his brother a sympathetic look before turning and shuffling towards the Impala. Dean stormed towards where 2017 Castiel’s body remained on the ground, the ash outline of his wings clearly visible in the daylight.

When he reached the body, Dean stopped abruptly. Slowly, he crouched down, glancing behind him to check that Sam was completely out of sight. Then, as if he were a marionette puppet whose strings had just been cut, Dean fell forward, burying his head against Castiel’s chest.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Dean muttered repeatedly, each syllable sounding even more broken than the one before. 

Dean fisted his hands against past-Castiel’s shirt as the Castiel watching on lifted a hand to his own chest. He could almost feel the warmth of Dean’s body collapsed against him now.

It was a few minutes before Dean started to get up, but not alone. He shoved his hands underneath Castiel’s limp form and hoisted him into his arms. Holding Castiel close to his chest, he carried him bridal-style towards the lake house, buckling bow-legs exhibiting the strain of keeping upright while bearing the weight of a six-foot adult man. He didn’t give up though, making it up the stairs and through the door that Sam had left open.

“Where is he taking me?” Castiel whispered.

“To a table inside,” Jack replied calmly. “It’s where he’ll wrap your body for the funeral pyre later. Sam offers to help him there as well, but Dean refuses. You’ll see why.”

With a snap of Jack’s fingers, Castiel found himself in a small room, staring at his own dead body. Dean was holding the flipped-back edge of a sheet, staring at Castiel’s pale face before looking away sorrowfully, as though the sight was too much for him to bear. Pulling the sheet straight across Castiel’s face, Dean turned to the window and pulled down the curtain rod. He tore the material off and started wrapping Castiel’s body, starting with his feet. He’d only managed to wind the curtain around his legs a few times when he had to pause. Swallowing, Dean screwed his eyes shut for a few moments before he fluttered them back open, tilting his head up to stare at the spot where Castiel’s face was hidden beneath the sheet.

Castiel held his breath, watching as Dean placed his former self’s legs down gently before the hunter made his way back towards his covered head. Dean crouched down, tugging the sheet back to reveal Castiel’s motionless face again. After only a moment of hesitation, Dean leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead.

Castiel swallowed thickly, bringing his fingers up to touch the spot where Dean’s lips were now connected to his lifeless body.

It was a sob that forced Dean to end the kiss, tilting his head to press their foreheads together as tears fell from his eyes and trickled down Castiel’s pale face.

Castiel wanted to make it stop. He felt a few tears of his own start to gather in the corners of his eyes. He turned to look at Jack, and his heart cracked even further when he saw that his son was also crying. 

“Please, take us away, Jack.”

Jack sniffled and wiped his eyes. “You need to see these things, Castiel. You need to see what losing you does to Dean—it breaks his heart.”

Jack snapped his fingers and they were outside the lake house again. It was night, darkness blanketing their surroundings, but the faces of three figures were illuminated by the glow of a roaring fire. It was his funeral, Castiel realized.

Sam looked sad. Jack—the Jack of 2017—looked sad. But Dean. Oh, Dean. There was no way to describe his face besides utter devastation.

The urge to comfort him became too much and Castiel surged forward, but was restrained with a vice-like grip on his arm.

“There’s no point, Castiel,” Jack urged. “He can’t hear you. He can’t see you. And if you try to touch him, he won’t be able to feel you.”

Castiel clenched his jaw as Jack slowly straightened his fingers one by one, releasing his arm. The angel watched Dean helplessly for a few more seconds before turning away.

“Are you getting it? Are you getting how much he loves you?” Jack begged.

“I—” Castiel started, rubbing his eyes and dragging a hand down his face. He held it over his mouth for a few moments before turning and facing Jack with tired eyes. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly.

Jack swallowed and nodded his head. “Then I’m sorry, but we have to keep going. There’s a lot from this time you were gone that you should see.”

*

They were still in Washington when they landed again, next to what appeared to be a pirate-themed restaurant. Their surroundings were beautiful—a glittering lake, dark green hills, and a bright blue sky broken up by wisps of cotton candy-esque clouds. To their right, Castiel could see the Impala, but Dean wasn’t there.

“He’s around the back,” Jack answered Castiel’s unasked question.

Castiel furrowed his brow and walked towards the rear of the building. 

“Okay, Chuck,” Castiel heard, which stopped him in his tracks. Dean was praying, something he loathed to do, saying it was akin to begging. Castiel never pointed out that Dean tended to pray to him on a regular basis.

When Dean came into view, his head was bowed with his eyes scrunched.

“We’ve lost everything,” Dean croaked, his voice breaking. “And now you’re gonna bring him back.” 

Castiel swallowed thickly as he watched Dean’s desperate plea. It wasn’t just for Castiel’s return. Dean wanted his mom back. He even wanted Crowley back. Castiel felt Jack step up behind him, turning his head to take in his son’s melancholic look.

“He doesn’t know how to cope with losing you, Cas,” Jack said softly. “He lashes out.”

Castiel flinched when he heard a bang. He whipped his head back to Dean, dropping his mouth open as he saw Dean smashing the toilet door sign with his fist before smacking the destroyed sign clean off.

“Please,” Dean breathed out, staring at the sky for a moment before dropping his head. “Please help us.”

Castiel watched with his heart in his throat as Dean waited a few more seconds, one last glimmer of hope flickering then disappearing from his eyes. As Dean turned to walk towards the Impala, he shook his hand, trickles of blood dripping from his battered fist and leaving a trail in the dirt.

When Castiel turned to face Jack, his son’s brows were drawn together as though he was deep in thought—an unpleasant one.

“Jack, what is it?” Castiel asked curiously, stepping towards him and reaching out to place what he hoped would be a comforting hand on his shoulder.

In lieu of answering, Jack grimaced and leaned into the touch before the serene setting around them dissolved.

*

“Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer,” Sam gritted. “That is not on Jack!”

They were in the bunker’s war room, less than three feet away from where the Winchester brothers were locked in a heated argument.

“And what about Cas?”

“What about Cas?”

Dean’s eyes were wide, his face twisted in an anger so vicious that to direct it at Sam could only mean Dean was in a state of deep despair.

“He manipulated him, he made him promises, said ‘paradise on earth’,” Dean spat. “And Cas bought it, and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

Castiel caught Jack flinching at Dean’s rage-filled final words. Without hesitation, he spun towards his son and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry you had to hear that,” Cas whispered.

Jack gripped him tight for a few seconds before pulling back. “I already did, I’m standing in that hallway,” Jack confirmed quietly, pointing to the open doorway.

Castiel’s face crumpled in sadness.

“It’s okay though,” Jack contemplated. “Well, I mean, it’s not, but I understand now at least.”

“Understand what?” Castiel asked, tilting his head.

“Dean’s anger,” Jack clarified. “It was never about me, not really. I was just the product of the day he lost the love of his life.”

Castiel gulped and trained his eyes on the floor.

“After hearing this, I called out to you, and it worked,” Jack explained. “I wanted you back so badly, but I realize now that Dean needed you back.”

“There’s something else you should know,” Jack continued, a modicum of hesitation in his tone. “I think—actually, I know Dean wouldn’t want you seeing this, but this might offer clarity over why I need you to help me save him.”

With the tap of his son’s hand on Castiel’s shoulder, the bunker dissipated.

*

Their new surroundings were unfamiliar to Castiel. They were standing on a large staircase. A few steps above them on a landing were Sam and Dean. Sam was crouched down and leaning over his brother’s motionless body.

“Dean. Dean?” Sam’s voice was panicked as he patted and shook Dean’s unconscious form. “Hey! Dean!”

Castiel shivered as a cold sense of dread prickled sharply in his chest.

“Wha—”

“He killed himself, Castiel.”

The angel froze for a few moments. When he’d registered the words, he felt his knees buckle, collapsing hard on the stairs as his own breathing stopped.

“Cas!” Jack cried out, following him down and clutching his shoulders. “I’m sorry, Cas! I’m so sorry! Cas!”

Castiel could hear Jack’s frantic tone and feel his touch but it all felt so far away, as though it was happening in the same place but in another reality.

He killed himself, Castiel.

“He’s still here, Castiel. He’s in the veil, I’ll show you!”

Suddenly, a second Dean appeared in front of him. He was washed out—ghostly—but he was upright, facing Billie, who had also appeared at the top of the staircase.

“No, I saw Cas kill you.”

“How’s that working out for him?”

Castiel exhaled heavily, wiping a hand down his face, feeling a wetness and realizing he had been crying.

“Cas?” Jack squeaked, his brows knitted together in a look of concern.

Castiel turned his head to face his son and attempted a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry, Jack, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m okay.”

Jack assessed him for a long moment before he shook his head slowly. “No, you’re not.”

The angel’s forced smile fell and he dropped his gaze to his feet.

“I’m really sorry to put you through this, Castiel,” Jack whispered sadly. “I-I just want you to understand. I need you to understand so you can help him. I—”

“Shhhh,” Castiel soothed, tugging Jack into a side hug and squeezing tight. “I know, Jack, I know.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Castiel noticed Billie and Dean disappear. “Where did they go?” Castiel asked, a hint of panic creeping into his tone.

“Oh,” Jack sighed, before clicking his fingers.

In an instant, they disappeared from their seated position on the staircase and found themselves standing in Death’s Library.

“You’ve changed. When you bargained with me just now, you could’ve asked to go back, to live.”

Castiel and Jack had appeared next to a table, facing Dean and Billie as they talked in front of one of the many aisles labelled ‘W’.

“Well, I figured with you in charge, there’s no getting back for me.”

“That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love. The man who has been dead so many times but it never seems to stick. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, the guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it but you know you won’t. You can’t and that scares the hell out of you. Or… am I wrong?”

“What do you want me to say? Doesn’t matter. I don’t matter.”

Castel’s heart plunged to the ground as his mind screamed, Yes you do!

“Don’t you?” Billie replied with a quirk of her brow.

“I couldn’t save Mom. I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps trying to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down. So I’m not going to beg. Okay, if it’s my time, it’s my time.” Dean’s voice was eerily calm as he spoke.

“You really believe that.” Billie gave him an assessing stare. “You wanna die.”

Castiel closed his eyes and shook his head. “Jack. Get me out of here.”

*

The soft breeze tickling Castiel’s face indicated a change of location. When he opened his eyes, they were standing in front of a black and white horse statue. Glancing up, Castiel saw the Stampede Motel sign and realized Jack had transported them to Dodge City.

Castiel exhaled a deep breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding as his entire body flooded with relief. For the most part, this memory was filled with joy. Dean was in his element, rattling off his knowledge of cowboys and outlaws as he admired the memorabilia with a beaming smile on his face. Castiel was just happy to be back by his side.

“This,” Jack started, pacing in front of Castiel’s line of sight with his hands behind his back, “is a couple of days after where we just were.”

The angel’s eyes widened. “What!? But, I remember Dean being so—”

“Happy?” Jack interjected, his mouth tilting up in a tiny smile. “Exactly… and the only difference in Dean’s life between that moment with Billie and this one, is that you’re back. Because he loves you, Castiel.”

He felt his heart tighten at Jack’s assertion, even though he wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. Castiel knows Dean loves him, just not in the way he wants him to.

“Jack,” Castiel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “He loves me differently, as a friend, as a…” Castiel swallowed down the nauseous feeling that bubbled up, “as a brother.”

When he dropped his hand and his vision cleared, Jack was glaring at him.

“He definitely doesn’t, Castiel,” Jack deadpanned.

“He has told me so, multiple times,” Castiel argued.

Jack balked and swiped a hand down his face in a movement so reminiscent of Dean, Castiel had to look away for a moment.

“Because Dean Winchester always says exactly what he means,” Jack groaned sarcastically. He tilted his head up as if asking another deity to give him strength. Then, he took a deep breath, seemingly contemplative, before bringing his head back down without looking Castiel in the eye.

“I didn’t want to resort to this,” Jack muttered, grimacing and shifting uncomfortably from side to side. “I’m not coming with you this time; the fact that I’m even aware of this is horrifying enough.”

Castiel furrowed his brow. What could possibly be so bad that Jack wouldn’t come with him?

Still refusing to make eye contact, Jack clicked his fingers and Castiel’s surroundings changed from the motel parking lot to… a bathroom?

Castiel’s mouth went dry as he took in the scene he was presented with. He was standing in front of a running shower. Through the glass door he could clearly see Dean. Naked Dean. Naked Dean, who was leaning with one hand against the shower wall while his other hand was wrapped around his erect penis, tugging languidly.

Castiel stumbled back with a gasp, his hand flying to his mouth before he remembered that Dean could not see or hear him. Slowly, he dragged his hand down and let it fall to his side. Dean’s hand movement quickened as he let out a breathy moan. Heat rushed through Castiel’s body, a dark red flush no doubt painting his neck and cheeks.

This was wrong—a complete violation of Dean’s privacy. He shouldn’t be here and yet he was frozen in place, unable to look away. Why would Jack send him here? He felt fury on Dean’s behalf at unknowingly having a witness, and fury for himself at the sheer torture of now knowing what Dean looked like in a state of unencumbered pleasure. 

And then he said it.

“C-Cas.”

Castiel’s stomach plummeted to the ground as Dean’s hips stuttered and, a mere moment later, he ejaculated into his hand. Castiel was transfixed, watching Dean’s strokes slow gradually until they stopped altogether. Dean pushed off the wall as his other hand fell away from his now flaccid penis, holding it under the spray of water to rinse away the evidence of his masturbation. Once clean, Dean leaned back against the glass shower panel, his head hitting it with a thump. Castiel swallowed as Dean released a quiet, “Dammit.” 

The angel blinked and, from one millisecond to the next, Castiel disappeared from the bathroom and found himself back outside the Stampede Motel. Jack was several feet away from him, looking guilty and uncomfortable.

“Jack!” Castiel snapped, as Jack shrank back. 

Cringing at Jack’s reaction, Castiel took a deep breath and pinched his inner eyes in an attempt to compose himself. When he dropped his hand to face Jack again, the nephilim was eyeing him warily and fidgeting with his hands. 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Castiel sighed.

Jack swallowed. “I know,” he muttered, before giving Castiel an assessing look. “But—”

“No, Jack,” Castiel interrupted, holding his hand up. “No buts, that was completely over the line. That was a breach of Dean’s trust. That was—”

“I didn’t know what else to do!” Jack interrupted, gesturing his hands wildly, his expression filled with frustration. “You weren’t listening to me! After everything you saw, you still couldn’t see it! But… that is something you can’t just explain away.”

Castiel opened his mouth to argue but nothing came out. There wasn’t anything he could say to argue, and with that thought a tiny door in his mind cracked open at the possibility that Jack might actually be right. That Dean loved him. That Dean was attracted to him. That it was within the realm of possibility that Dean wanted to be with him. That he could make Dean happy.

Castiel cleared his throat. “You really think he feels the same way?” The question was whispered hesitantly. Hopefully.

The corners of Jack’s lips tilted up gradually until the smile lighting up his face was beaming. “Without a doubt in my mind,” he replied, reaching out to rest a hand against Castiel’s shoulder as their surroundings shifted once more.

*

The familiarity of their new location made Castiel smile. They were once again in the bunker, but rather than finding themselves in the midst of a tense Winchester argument, they had instead returned to a fond memory. The bunker was full to the brim with the Apocalypse World hunters. The Castiel of this time was rushing towards Dean. The white shirt and black vest covering Dean’s upper body indicated this was the moment Dean returned after being possessed by Michael—the first time at least. Past-Castiel came to a stop next to past-Jack but his eyes were firmly fixed on Dean. Castiel and Jack stood perpendicular from their 2018 counterparts, watching the interaction.

Castiel observed his own facial expression. The love and longing in his eyes as he gazed at Dean was blatant, and when he turned to look at Dean, his lips parted and he let out a soft gasp as he realized the expression was a mirror of his own. His head whipped back and forth between the Dean and Castiel in front of him, who just kept staring at each other. He didn’t see it at the time but as an outside observer, it was impossible not to.

“Even Sam can see it,” Jack smirked.

Castiel turned his head towards Sam, realizing for the first time that the tallest Winchester was also standing with the group. The smile on his face was small and knowing.

“Did everyone know?” Castiel asked, turning to Jack with a curious tilt of his head.

Jack grinned. “Everyone but the two of you.”

The angel huffed a small laugh, dropped his head and shook it shyly. “I’m still not sure I believe it,” he mumbled.

When Castiel lifted his head up to face Jack again, his son had furrowed his brow, his features awash with a look of sympathy. “You will,” Jack whispered, before gingerly placing his hand on Castiel’s shoulder.

*

A cold sense of dread rushed through Castiel’s body as he took in their latest location. They were still in the bunker, a place that gave him such comfort, with the exception of this room—the place where Castiel died. If the sight of Dean on the dungeon floor in his green jacket with a blood-red handprint on his arm was anything to go by, they were also at the time when Castiel died. Dean was leaning against the wall with one knee up and the other out straight. His eyes were glazed over as though he were staring into nothingness.

“How long?” Castiel whispered, turning to face Jack, who was watching Dean. 

When the young deity blinked, a tear trickled down his cheek. “Just under an hour,” Jack replied with a swipe of his cheek.

Castiel nodded solemnly and turned his attention back to Dean. The silence of the room was stifling as Dean sat completely motionless. It was almost a relief when the ringing of Dean’s cellphone broke through the quiet.

They watched Dean glance down at the screen.

“Sam,” Jack clarified. “He and I were the only ones left.”

Castiel swallowed thickly and put a hand to his mouth. He watched Dean look around helplessly before dropping the phone, which hit the cement floor with a clatter. He watched Dean scrub his hands over his face and tug at his hair. Then, he heard Dean choke out a sob so devastating a similar sound bubbled out of Castiel involuntarily. For several minutes, Dean sat on the floor and wept as Castiel and Jack watched, tears streaming down both of their faces.

“I-I can’t,” Castiel whimpered. “I can’t just watch this anymore, I need to help him.”

Jack hiccupped and wiped his eyes with his sleeve before throwing his arms around his father. Castiel returned the hug, squeezing Jack tightly as he clamped his eyes shut.

“You did it, Jack, I get it now,” he stammered. “I love him, he loves me. I need him, he needs me. I see it now, I know it now.”

Jack sobbed harder as he nodded his head against Castiel’s chest. The angel stroked his hand through Jack’s hair in an attempt to soothe him. When Jack’s breathing slowed, he cautiously blinked his eyes open. His face crumpled when he was met with Dean still in a deep state of anguish. He eased out of the hug but kept hold of Jack by his shoulders.

“Take me to him, Jack,” Castiel begged. “I need to save him, I know I can do it.”

With a small sniffle and a slight nod, Jack reached out and placed a hand on Castiel’s chest.

*

From one blink to the next, Castiel went from staring at Dean on the dungeon floor to staring at Dean mid-tussle with a large man. No, a large vampire, Castiel realized when the monster hissed at the hunter, his fangs on full display. Jack and Castiel had appeared in what seemed to be a dilapidated barn. A few decapitated bodies already littered the ground and the Winchester brothers were each engaged in scuffles with the remaining vampires.

As Sam took the head off his attacker with the swipe of his machete, Jack stepped into Castiel’s peripheral vision. “You can stop it, Castiel,” he cried urgently.

Castiel squinted his eyes in confusion as he watched the remaining vampire push against Dean. Then he saw it. A sharp, rusty piece of rebar protruding out of a wooden post, directly in line with Dean’s back. Without another thought, Castiel raced towards them, shoving Dean out of the way. As Dean hit the floor, Castiel whirled around the monster and slammed his stomach against the rebar. That wasn’t going to kill him though.

“SHUT YOUR EYES!” Castiel shouted as he smacked his hand against the vampire’s head.

Light filled the room for a moment as the vampire shrieked. When Castiel was done, he slid the now-dead vampire off the rebar and let the body fall to the floor before turning to face where Dean had fallen. The hunter was a mirror of the moment Castiel was taken by the Empty, his expression a mixture of shock and disbelief. He parted his lips as though he was about to speak, but nothing came out.

“C-Cas?”

The angel turned towards Sam’s voice, where the tallest Winchester was gazing at him with cautious hope. He was battle weary, breathing heavily with trickles of sweat dotting his face.

Carefully, Castiel stepped towards him. Before he could speak, Jack’s voice quietly confirmed, “It’s really him.”

Sam flinched and jerked his head towards Jack, his eyes widening as though he was seeing him for the first time.

“Jack!” Sam gasped, standing in place for a moment before barrelling towards him and wrapping him up in a tight hug. “You came back,” he whispered against Jack’s head.

Jack nodded against his chest, winding his arms around Sam’s back to return the embrace. When they parted, Sam took a few steps towards Castiel, tapping his shoulder to pull him into a similar hold. 

“Missed you, man,” Sam said softly over his shoulder.

Castiel smiled. “I missed you too, Sam,” he replied, squeezing him back for a few seconds before breaking the hold so he could turn his attention back to Dean. 

The other man hadn’t moved from his spot on the ground. Castiel stepped towards him. Dean remained frozen in place, his only movement being his eyes tracking Castiel’s journey closer to him.

“C’mon, Sam,” Castiel heard Jack whisper, followed by the sounds of shuffling feet, and the creak and click of the barn door opening and shutting.

Dean still hadn’t moved as Castiel crouched down at his side. He placed a tentative hand on Dean’s knee and started rubbing it soothingly when the hunter didn’t flinch away. Dean’s eyes were misting as he continued his unblinking stare.

Castiel didn’t even know where to begin. There was so much between them, so much he wanted to say, especially after everything Jack had shown him. But now that he finally had his opportunity, only one phrase managed to push past his lips. “Hello Dean.”

Dean’s face crumpled as he choked out a throaty, “Cas.” His breathing became erratic as tears started to fall down his face. “Fuck,” he added, before reaching up and pulling Castiel against his chest.

It was an awkward position but Castiel went willingly, falling against Dean’s body. He placed one hand flat on the ground to hold himself up, not wanting to crush Dean with his entire body weight, as his other snaked around Dean’s back. Seemingly unbothered by the notion of death by angel anvil, Dean tugged Castiel tightly towards him as his shaking body was wracked by sobs.

“Fuck, Cas. Fuck,” Dean babbled, tucking his face against Castiel’s neck “I didn’t think I’d see you again. That I wouldn’t get a chance to tell you—just—oh god, fucking hell. Cas!”

Castiel could feel tears burning his own eyes as he stroked his hand up and down Dean’s back.

They stayed cuddled together on the floor of the barn for several minutes until Dean’s breathing regulated and his body stopped shaking. Castiel was melting into the touch of Dean pressed against him when, without warning, Dean shoved Castiel back onto his knees and rearranged himself until he was in the same position. He reached out and gripped the collar of Castiel’s trench coat. Dean’s eyes were bloodshot, his skin was blotchy, and collections of hair strands were sticking out haphazardly. He looked beautiful. He also looked furious.

“How could you do that to me!? Dean cried angrily, tugging his collar roughly until their faces were mere inches apart.

Castiel furrowed his brow in confusion. “What?”

“You said. Y-you said you…” Dean gritted before trailing off, his eyes wild. “A-and then you just fucking left!” Dean’s voice cracked at the end.

Castiel blew out a shaky breath and shook his head slowly. “Dean, I’m so sorry, I never wanted to leave you like that,” he implored. “But I don’t regret it.”

Dean’s nostrils flared as Castiel continued.

“It was the only option,” he stressed. “You needed to save the world, and I… I needed to save you.”

“You didn’t save me, Cas, you broke me!”

Stabbing him in the heart would have hurt less than those words. Castiel drooped back as though that was what had actually happened, but Dean’s grip on his coat left little room for him to retreat.

“Dean,” he choked out, tears gathering in his eyes once more as he clutched his chest at the physical ache that was now there. “I didn’t realize—”

“You didn’t realize what, Cas?” Dean spat, though the heat in his tone was somewhat diminished by the sorrow evident on his face. “That you’re not fucking expendable!? That you don’t seem to have a fucking clue how much I need you!? That you—”

“That you love me too!” Cas blurted out as a few drops escaped his eyes and trickled down his cheeks.

Dean drew in a sharp breath as his eyes darted all over Castiel’s face, landing eventually on the angel’s eyes. His anger seemed to drain as he released a stuttery exhale followed by a full-body shudder. He gulped and parted his lips. “Of course I love you,” Dean gushed, “you fucking idiot.”

Castiel smiled through a sob as Dean slid his hands up from Castiel’s coat to cup his face. The small gasp Castel released was muffled by Dean’s lips crashing into his own in a desperate kiss.

Chapter Text

Cas is alive. Cas is here. Cas is fucking kissing him back.

The grip Dean had on the angel’s face was tight but there was no fucking way he was letting go. He didn’t know how Cas was back, and if there was the slightest chance that big, black goo was also coming back then he would hold on so goddamn tight that son of a bitch would have to take him too.

Their heads moved in sync as though this was their thousandth kiss, rather than their first, licking into each other’s mouths and parting ever so slightly when taking a breath was required. He felt like he was floating, but there were still so many lingering emotions that were somersaulting throughout his entire body, bubbling up only to be shoved back down by Castiel’s adept tongue.

It ended up being the pain in his knees from their awkward position that put an end to their first kiss. Their first, but hopefully not their last.

“Hang on, gotta stand, my legs are going numb,” Dean grunted after nudging the angel back.

Cas nodded and put his hand on Dean’s side as Dean placed his own on Cas’ shoulder. Together, they stood up, Dean doing so with a groan before shaking out his legs.

“Are you alright?” Cas asked, furrowing his brow with a look of concern that Dean could only describe as adorable. Jesus fucking Christ.

“Yeah,” Dean mused. “No… I-I don’t know.”

Dean chewed his bottom lip as he assessed the angel. “What happened, Cas?” he whispered. “How are you back?”

Cas took a deep breath and glanced down, his concentration seemingly directed at his shoes. Then he tilted his head back up to meet Dean’s gaze sheepishly. “Jack brought me back.”

Dean scoffed. “Yeah, I figured. But you’ve been gone for months, Cas. He’s God, what took him so damn long?”

“Dean,” Cas said softly, carefully, like he was bracing Dean for something. Fucker. “He wanted to remain ‘hands off’,” he continued, air quotes and all. “But, then something happened and he decided to make an exception.”

Dean scrunched his face up in confusion. “What happened?” he prodded, regretting the question slightly when Castiel’s face went ashen and tears prickled his eyes.

“You… you died,” he whispered. 

“What!? No, I didn’t!” Dean argued. Maybe Cas had lost his goddamn mind again.

“Not this time. I stopped it, I had to stop it. Dean, please,” Castiel begged. “You can’t die. You’ve done too much for this world, you deserve a long, happy life.”

“Yeah, well, so do you!” Dean snapped back, that familiar rage simmering below the surface.

“Dean,” Cas said, his tone stern despite the look of distress still on his face, “Jack thought I died happy. And I did, in a way. Telling you I love you made me happy.”

Dean’s stomach swooped at hearing Cas say he loves him again.

“But seeing you suffer, and then eventually die, it was too much for him to bear,” Cas said softly, stepping forward and reaching up to cup Dean’s cheek. 

Dean closed his eyes, leaning into the touch as Cas smoothed his thumb gently along his cheek.

“So he made a choice,” Cas continued. “He knew being with you would make me happy, and he thought my return would be the only thing that would make you happy.”

When Dean peeled his eyes open, Cas was gazing at him hesitantly. 

“Although…” The angel continued as he dropped his hand.

Fuck.

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Although?” he pressed.

“Although, I didn’t believe Jack when he told me you shared my romantic desires,” Cas stated so matter-of-factly, a small laugh escaped Dean against his will. “Not at first anyway,” Cas added, cocking his head to the side thoughtfully.

“Wait, what do you mean at first?” Dean asked curiously. “What changed your mind?”

Cas looked down and shuffled uncomfortably. He almost looked guilty. “Dean, I need you to know, I had no intention of violating your privacy,” he asserted, lifting his head so he could look Dean in the eye.

What the fuck?

“Uh, Cas, what did you do?”

Cas paused, seemingly choosing his words wisely before he began. “When Jack infiltrated the Empty to rescue me, and he told me how you felt, I didn’t believe him. I didn’t think it was even within the realm of possibility that you would return my feelings. So, Jack decided to take me back to several moments in your past that made it clear how you felt for me.

Dean’s eyes widened as his mind began to race at the possibilities of what Cas could have seen.

“I’m so sorry, Dean, I promise you, Jack’s intentions were entirely honorable—”

“Cas.”

“But I should have stopped it, I know I should have, please forgive—”

“Cas!”

The angel froze and stared at Dean with wide eyes. 

Dean lifted his hands and carefully placed them on Cas’ shoulders. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little worried about what you could have seen,” Dean said, laughing nervously, “but… you’re my best friend. I mean, you’re more than that,” Dean quickly amended at seeing Cas flinch. “My point is, whatever you saw, it led you back here. To me.”

A small smile pulled at Cas’ lips and he gave a little nod.

“C’mere,” Dean sighed, reaching over Cas’ shoulder with one arm and around his lower back with the other to pull him into a tight hug.

Cas returned the embrace with a hard squeeze, tucking his face into the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean smiled softly at feeling Cas’ breath tickle his skin. He’d hugged Cas many times before but this was different. Now, he was hugging him knowing that he loved him. Knowing how it felt to kiss him. Speaking of…

Dean pulled back just enough that he could press his lips gently against Cas’. They exchanged several pecks before Dean’s curiosity got the better of him.

“So… what did you see?” Dean asked, resting his forearms on Cas’ shoulders.

“It’s a long story, Dean.”

“C’mon! At least give me a couple of highlights. Please!”

Cas tilted his head thoughtfully. “Okay. Well, first I saw what you did with my trench coat that you pulled from the reservoir after the leviathans.”

Dean furrowed his brow. “Yeah, I kept it. You knew that.”

“Ah, but I didn’t know you slept with it on occasion.”

Oh.

Dean could feel heat flood his cheeks. Based on the satisfied smirk on Cas’ face, there was no way his face wasn’t bright red. “The material felt nice,” he mumbled.

“Of course,” Cas said smugly.

“Shut up.”

“If that’s what you want?”

“You know it’s not, you asshole. What else?”

Cas swallowed and looked down, a blush slowly creeping onto his face.

“Ohhhh, here we go! C’mon, Cas, lay it on me.”

The angel cleared his throat. “Dean, this one was definitely meant to be a private moment. And just so you know, Jack did not join me.”

“Cas, spit it out.”

“Okay. Well, do you remember when we were on that ghoul case in Dodge City?”

Dean grinned. It was their first case back together after Cas returned from the Empty—the first time.

“Course! But you were there the whole time. What did you miss?”

The flush on Cas’ face darkened. “When you were in the shower,” he muttered.

Dean blinked as he took a second to register what Cas had said. Cas saw him in the shower. And if it was after he had spent the day with Cas in a cowboy hat, he would have been…

“Oh, shit.”

“Yes.”

“You saw—”

“I did.”

Dean’s arms left Cas’ shoulders. He placed one hand on his hip as the other swiped nervously over his mouth.

Cas looked as embarrassed as Dean felt, but there was a hint of something else in his gaze. When Cas poked his tongue out to lick his lips, Dean was struck with the realization of what it was. Biting his lip seductively, Dean leaned in until he was mere inches from Cas’ face.

“Did you like it?” Dean whispered lecherously, relishing Cas’ sharp intake of breath.

“Dean,” he gasped.

“You did, didn’t you? Liked seeing me wet, naked, touching myself.”

“Dean!”

“I was thinking about you. Did you know that?”

The thread of Cas’ self restraint seemed to snap. He grasped Dean’s collar, turned him around and slammed him back against the wall before leaning in to smash their lips together.

Dean moaned, feeling himself grow hard in his pants as Cas plunged his tongue inside his mouth and pressed firmly against his body. His eyes had closed when Cas kissed him. When he opened them to start trailing kisses down Cas’ neck, he noticed a decapitated vampire a few feet away from them out of the corner of his eye, which might as well have been a bucket of ice water over his body.

“Fuck, hold up, Cas, we gotta stop,” Dean said breathily, nudging the angel back, who looked at him dazedly. “Probably not the place to get too hot and heavy,” he added, gesturing at the floor.

Cas looked around, nodding as he too noticed headless bodies on the ground.

“Yes, of course,” Cas agreed. “Also, Jack and Sam are probably waiting for us.”

Dean barked out a laugh and ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck! Forgot about them,” he chuckled. “You kinda distracted me for a while there, sweetheart.”

The endearment slipped out but Dean wouldn’t dare take it back when he saw the sappy smile on Cas’ face.

“C’mon, let’s get outta here,” Dean said, reaching out for Cas’ hand and threading their fingers together. “Let’s go home.”

As they made their way towards the barn’s exit, Dean noticed a bloody, jagged piece of metal poking out from a nearby post. Fuck, he would have gotten pretty damn close to that. Lucky he didn’t end up impaling himself on that thing. That would have ended very badly.