Archive of Our Own ^beta

 Cyn raised her head, starting to panic. Where am I? Truthfully, she didn’t know where she had expected to be, but she hadn’t expected to be inside what looked like a spaceship.

 Then she looked down. N was still asleep, holding onto her. Oh. The memories from yesterday started flooding back, making her lay her head back down, trying to hide under the blanket her big brother had covered her with the night before.

 But before Cyn could get buried too deep in her thoughts, N started to wake up.

 “Hey, little buddy.” N took a look at his little sister, immediately holding her a bit tighter. “What’s wrong?”

 Cyn just shrugged.

 “It’s okay if you don’t know. How about we get you something to eat? That’ll probably help.” N got up, carrying Cyn over to the couch. He knew carrying her wasn’t really necessary, but he also knew she wanted to be close to him.

 Once she was curled up with her stuffed elephant and a blanket on the couch, N stepped over to the batteries cabinet, grabbing the pack of single-A batteries that hadn’t been finished last night, since she still seemed to like them.

 “You don’t have to eat these if you’re not hungry, but they’re here if you are.” The batteries were placed in Cyn’s hands, before N sat down next to her.

 “Big brother, N?” Cyn put her chewelry in her mouth, not seeming to be interested in eating at the moment.

 “Yeah?”

 “Where’s, big sister, V?” Cyn asked.

 “I don’t know, actually. She likes to wander sometimes, especially at night. Don’t worry, she’ll come back. Probably soon, since it’s light out now.” N ruffled Cyn’s hair.

 Before either one could say anything more, the door opened, and V stepped inside. She waved and closed the door. “Hey, munchkin. Hey, N.”

 Cyn jumped up from the couch. Once the batteries were set on the coffee table, she ran towards V for a hug.

 V returned the hug before walking over to a counter and picking up the gaming console she’d accidentally broken a few weeks ago. “Cyn?”

 Cyn looked up and nodded.

 “Once I finish fixing this, you might be able to play it. The battery won’t last very long, since this is a pretty old model, but there’s ways around that.” She turned to N. “Is that okay?” 

N looked up from texting Uzi, nodded, and turned to Cyn. “How would you feel about playing some Mario Kart later?”

 Cyn nodded again, hands excitedly flapping.

 “I’ll take that as a yes. We need to wait for V to fix the console, but we can play once she’s got it fixed. Do you want to do something else while we wait?”

 Cyn shrugged.

 “Alright. I need to text Uzi back, but we can do something once I do that.” N quickly finished tapping at his phone, then turned it off and put it on the coffee table.

 Cyn looked outside, the snow she’d been too tired to notice yesterday catching her eye. “Can we, play, in the, snow?”

 “Sure. I got you some snow gear a few weeks ago, so you won’t get cold if your temperature control’s still a little wonky,” N explained, getting the box from the night before out from under the couch.

 He opened the box, taking out a puffy periwinkle coat with white fluff inside the hood. Then he looked up. “Do you want to change out of your footies first, or are you going to be okay to wear them with shoes?”

 Cyn didn’t answer with mouth words, instead deciding to grab a shirt and soft pants from the box and disappear behind the black screen divider.

 N took the time to get the snow boots, mittens, hat, and scarf out. By the time everything was laid out on the couch, Cyn had changed clothes and come out from behind the divider.

 N helped Cyn get into her snow gear, then they headed outside. The snowstorm the night before had blown away most of the corpse spire (it had really just been a pile,) and what hadn’t been blown away had been covered up by what looked like a white blanket. Which N was grateful for, because he’d semi-forgotten it even existed. Once the gore had become part of the environment, his processor had decided to edit it out.

 “Hey, kiddo? I think we should play behind the ship. That’s where I’m used to hanging out, anyway.” N hoped Cyn wouldn’t question him, because he really wasn’t ready to tell a small child what he’d been turned into. Especially not one who had been possessed and forced to build his new body. 

 (Now that he thought about it, she had probably been conscious enough during the rebuilding process that she already knew, especially since she was the reason the Solver hadn’t given him the female Disassembly Drone model. He sure hoped she hadn’t been conscious, but he really had no way of knowing for sure unless Cyn brought it up herself. He didn’t want to bring that up right now.)

 But Cyn just nodded, running behind the spaceship and dragging N along with her. Once she got far enough behind the pod that N was satisfied she wouldn’t be digging up any dead Worker Drones, he said, “Let’s stop here. I don’t want V to think we disappeared on her.”

 “Okay. Can we, make, snow angels?” 

 “Sure.” N started to debate pulling out his wings, but decided against it, mostly because he didn’t want Cyn to cut herself on the sharp metal.

 Cyn flopped onto the ground and started making her first snow angel. But that didn’t keep her attention for long. She got up after a couple minutes, picking up a handful of snow and packing it into a ball. “Snowball, fight?”

 “Yep, that’s fine. You get the first throw, muffin.” Once Cyn’s snowball hit N’s shoulder, he picked up some snow of his own to throw back. Soon they were throwing snow at each other and giggling, running around knee-deep in snow (N did his best to keep Cyn away from where the corpse spire had been.)

 “Big brother, N?” Cyn asked as she slowed down.

 “What is it?” N noticed Cyn looking at his feet, concerned.

 “Why, aren’t you, wearing shoes? Aren’t you, cold?” Cyn stepped over to N, hugging him around the waist.

 “Nah. I’m fine. I don’t really need to wear much to stay warm anymore.”

 Cyn didn’t respond, instead just pointing to the ship. 

 “You want to head in? Are you getting cold?” N touched Cyn’s wrist, in between where the coat sleeve ended and the mitten started. The metal of her skin was getting cold.

 Cyn shook her head, pointing at N.

 “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. But if you want to go in, we can. I just don’t want you to cut this short for me.” N was about to suggest making a snowman, before a warning popped up on Cyn’s visor. 

 “Hey, you have a warning popping up. I need to get a look at it, but you don’t need to make eye contact. Look at my mouth if that’s easier.” N crouched down to Cyn’s level. “I need to tap the warning popup to get a better look at it. Do you want me to count down before I touch you?”

 Cyn shook her head, letting N tap the part of her visor with the popup.

 “It’s a low temp warning. We need to head in so you don’t shut down from the cold.” N closed the popup and stood up.

 “5, more minutes?”

 “Sorry, buddy. I can’t. Even 5 minutes might be long enough to make you shut down. But we can see if V has the console fixed when we head in, how about that?”

 Cyn started to tear up, crossing her arms and staring at the ground in hopes of her tears not being visible.

 “I know this isn’t what you wanted. I’m sorry. Do you want me to carry you inside, or do you want to walk?”

 Cyn held her arms up, so N picked her up. He carried her inside and set her on the couch. Then he tried to walk a couple feet away long enough to get the batteries off the coffee table, but Cyn grabbed his wrist and started sobbing.

 “Hey, I’m not leaving. I just need to grab your batteries off the table.”

 Cyn shook her head, holding on tighter.

 N had an idea. “I’m going to set you closer to the coffee table, so you can hold my hand while I grab your batteries. Is that okay?”

 Once Cyn nodded, N picked her up and placed her on the other side of the couch, allowing him to hold her hand while he picked up the batteries.

 He handed his sister the container, letting her start eating. Then he sat down, Cyn climbing into his lap.

 She grabbed her stuffed elephant off the couch, holding the toy close as she munched on the batteries and cried into N’s chest.

 “I’m, sorry…” she mumbled, her voice barely audible.

 “Buddy… what are you apologizing for?” N held Cyn tighter, patting her back.

 “Throwing, a tantrum, over, nothing.”

 “You have nothing to apologize for. You’re not throwing a tantrum, you’re upset. That’s not nothing, and this isn’t your fault. I’d be upset too in your situation.

 “I know I kind of had to bring you inside suddenly. I’m sorry. I should’ve waited until I knew your temperature control was back to normal before taking you outside. That was my fault. I’m sorry.

 “Let’s just get you feeling better. Do you think taking off your snow gear would help?”

 Cyn nodded.

 “Do you need help?” N asked, hovering his hands over her mittens. He knew Cyn sometimes lost the ability to remember or execute the steps of even simple tasks when she was overwhelmed (much to the chagrin of the Elliotts- minus Tessa. N tried not to think about them or what they would have done in this situation.)

 Cyn hesitated before nodding again, so N slid the mittens off of her hands. Setting them to the side, he took the snow-caked boots off next. One by one, he got every piece of winter gear off.

 “There we go. Is that better?” N pushed the winter gear away, figuring he’d pick it up later. For now, Cyn needed him.

 Cyn nodded. 

 N started to suspect Cyn had temporarily lost the ability to talk. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, or even out of the ordinary. “Cyn?”

 She looked up, trying to say something. But she couldn’t. Was she in trouble? Big brother N probably-

 “If you can’t talk right now, or you just don’t want to, that’s okay. We can sit here as long as you need to feel better. I don’t mind.”

 Cyn didn’t believe him- she couldn’t- but she found herself cuddling closer anyway. Her eyes drifted shut as a blanket found its way on top of her.

-Sleep Mode-

 Cyn stirred, rubbing her visor and lifting her head. Her stuffed elephant was still in her lap, and big brother N was still holding her.

 “Hey, little buddy. Did the nap help?” N asked.

 “Mhm.” Cyn still didn’t feel like she could do much talking, even if she wanted to… but she wasn’t holding back tears anymore.

 “Good. I’m going to check your temperature control real quick, just to make sure it’s back to normal. Can you turn your head towards me for a sec? You don’t have to look at my face if you don’t want to; I just need to be able to touch your visor.”

 Cyn turned her head, but looked to the side, avoiding eye contact.

 N tapped her visor a couple times. “You’re all good. Do you have the energy to head out with me and Uzi? We have a few things we need to get. If not, V or I can stay with you.”

 Cyn thought for a moment. She had the energy after the nap, but… Uzi didn’t like her. She shrugged.

 “It’s your choice.” N paused for a moment. “Does something about Uzi bug you?”

 Cyn finally managed to find the energy for a few words. “She, doesn’t, like me.”

 “I know she might have seemed like she doesn’t like you. She doesn’t know how to interact with kids your age, since she hasn’t really done it before. I bet she’ll warm up once she figures out how to interact with you. I wouldn’t have started dating just anyone, I promise.” N laughed. “But you don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to. You don’t owe her that.”

 Cyn nodded, reaching for her coat.

 “Are you coming with?” N asked.

 Cyn nodded.

 “Alright. Are you going to bring your friend?” N gestured to the stuffed elephant Cyn had set down to free her hands long enough to put her coat on.

 “Mhm.”

 “Sounds good. If you don’t want to carry them, put them in my backpack. I don’t want them to get lost.” N got up, taking a backpack from a hook on the support post of the cockpit. “Do they have a name?”

 “Nuh-uh.” Cyn finished putting her coat on before picking up the stuffed toy.

 “Do you want help picking one?” N came back over to the couch.

 Cyn shook her head. She picked up one of her snow boots and tried to slide it on, but didn’t quite get it. Her hands and wrists weren’t coordinated enough.

 “You need help, buddy?” N set the backpack aside.

 Cyn looked at him, seemingly confused.

 “I don’t mind. We can work on your coordination when we have the time, but for now, we need to be worried about getting ready.”

 Cyn finally nodded.

 “Okay. Give me that.” N took the boot from Cyn, putting it on her foot, then doing the other one. He tightened them before asking, “Does that feel okay?”

 Cyn nodded.

 “Good. Let me get ready. Uzi should be here in a few minutes.” N got up, picking the backpack up again and grabbing some things, like his phone and keys. He made sure the emergency blanket, power packs and cords were still in there (just in case they got stranded by a snowstorm too harsh to fly through, although it actually looked sunny out for once,) zipping it up once he confirmed everything was there. 

 They both looked up when the door opened.

 “Hey Uzi! Hey V!” N waved, his tail dragging along the floor as it wagged. “We’re just about ready. Cyn’s coming with us.”

 “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” V quirked a digital eyebrow. “You know what all died out there.”

 “I, know, what I did, big sister, V.”

 V tried not to show how taken aback she was. She’d also been under the Solver’s control at one point, and it had let slip enough to tell her that it was an entirely different entity from Cyn.

 “Cyn, I would’ve known if you’d been the one possessing me back on Earth. That thing can go fuck itself.” V got on one knee to bend down to Cyn’s height, ruffling her hair before picking her up.

 “That’s, a, bad word!” Cyn giggled despite herself, letting V carry her outside.

 “No worse than the Solver.” V’s voice was dry, but she gave Cyn a small smile. “N, she can come, but be prepared to go a little farther. Less skeletons out there.”

 “Less [Fatal Errors], too.” Uzi shuddered, though it was hard to catch.

 V sighed. “Purple, you should be the most used to this out of everyone in your outpost. You literally took his-“ 

 “V, not in front of Cyn. She just met Uzi yesterday,” N chided as he locked the door of the pod.

 “Okay, fine. I can’t even call you overprotective for this one.” V put Cyn down so she could go over to N and hug his leg.

 “Thanks. Uzi, while we’re out, let’s look for a gun safe for your railgun. I really don’t want to wind up at the emergency mechanic with Cyn because she got a hold of it.” N put his backpack on (on his front, so his wings had room to come out and open,) and picked Cyn up.

 “Damn. I was looking forward to having someone new to show it off to. But… that’s fair, I guess.” Uzi lightheartedly groaned, then stretched her wings out before launching up into the air.

N adjusted his hold on Cyn. “Ready to get in the air? I’ll hold onto you really tight; make sure you’re safe.” 

 Cyn nodded, so N took off.

-time skip-

 N landed, the impact making him crouch for a moment before he steadied himself. Then he retracted his wings and set Cyn down. “Can you hold onto my coat while I get my backpack turned around?”

 Cyn nodded and grabbed the end of N’s long coat, letting N take his backpack off his front and put it back on the normal way. Once N had his hands free, she grabbed one.

 “Thanks for staying with me. I need to be able to see you and get to you quickly if something goes wrong.” N turned his head to a cloud of snow flying up a couple yards to his side. “Hey guys!”

 V waved, stepping over to Cyn. “Hey, munchkin.” 

 Cyn grabbed her hand too, giving Uzi a small, shy smile as she approached.

 Uzi waved to Cyn, a little less awkward than the night before.

 N grabbed Uzi’s hand, making a chain of drones. “I have enough clothes for Cyn; that’s most of what I was collecting when you guys weren’t looking, but I was thinking she could pick out some toys. We could try to bring a mattress home too, if we find one we can carry home.”

 “Good luck with carrying a mattress.” V laughed, but decided not to make an outright dig at N in front of Cyn.

 “I can carry it with my Solver. It’s definitely under that weight lim- uhh, Cyn?” Uzi quirked a concerned digital eyebrow at Cyn, who had buried her face into N’s side.

 N put some text on his visor. pls don’t mention the Solver rn

 Uzi responded with text of her own: yah fair enough, poor kid :c

 She let go of N’s hand, deciding to give the others a bit of space.

 “She’s not going to use her powers around you if you don’t want her to, buddy. You’re safe.” N rubbed Cyn’s back, letting her keep her face buried into him. He would have picked her up, but she didn’t seem like she would be letting go of V’s hand anytime soon.

 V got in front of Cyn and crouched down, opening her wings to make a barrier between the group and Uzi. “She’s not gonna hurt you. I think she likes you, she just doesn’t know how to show it. Do you wanna hear a funny story about her?”

 Cyn tearfully turned her face vaguely towards V and nodded, not noticing N telling her to keep the story tame with text on his visor.

 “I fell asleep when she was sleeping over with N, and she put a bunch of anime stickers on me. I don’t even know where she got them.” V laughed a little at the memory, the annoyance of waking up covered in stickers long since forgotten.

 “In my defense, you beat me at Splatoon!” Uzi retorted from a little bit away.

 Cyn finally giggled. “She’s, kinda like, Tessa!” She let go of V’s hand, taking N’s instead.

 N agreed, “Yeah, kinda.”

 Uzi tentatively stepped a bit closer. “Hey kid. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

 “Promise?” Cyn hid behind her stuffed elephant, hugging it close to her face.

 Uzi nodded. “I’d say ‘pinky promise,’ but we don’t have pinkies.”

 V retracted her wings and got up from where she was crouching. “Remember how you always wanted N and I to swing you in between us, but we were too short?” She asked as the group walked towards the abandoned city.

 Cyn nodded, a question mark replacing one eye on her visor.

 “Well, we’re tall enough now,” V said.

 “Yep. You’ll need both hands though, so if you want us to swing you, you’ll need to put your friend in my backpack. Is that okay?” N put one hand on his backpack strap, ready to take it off.

 Cyn held onto the toy. “She’d be, alone.”

 V sighed. “I can hold her. I have a free hand.” 

 Cyn handed the toy over, then took V’s hand again and let N grip her other hand tighter. 

 N and V lifted Cyn up, swinging her in between them.

 Cyn giggled, kicking her legs as she swung through the air.

 V realized Cyn’s voice wasn’t nearly as robotic as it had been at the manor. It was more like a typical little girl’s voice; all that was left of the Solver was the pauses in between words. Whether that was motor memory left over from its torment or just something she would’ve had anyway, V didn’t know. 

 All she knew was that she would never be able to repay Uzi for finding the spare Crucifix Patch. (She didn’t even care about how sappy that sounded- though she’d never say any of it out loud- because it was the truth.)

 Eventually, Cyn had had enough of being in the air, so N and V set her down. She took her stuffed animal back from V, running ahead.

 “Cyn, stay where we can reach you!” V called after her.

 Cyn stopped running, looking behind herself. “Why?”

 N faltered for a moment, but reminded himself that this wasn’t anything new to Cyn. “There’s other Disassembly Drones still hunting, and we need to be able to get you away from them and fight them off if they show up looking for oil.”

 Cyn sadly nodded, returning to the group and taking N’s hand again. They entered the main part of the city, making their way to the shopping district. Since there had been shelter-in-place (and then evacuation) orders for the last few hours before the core collapse, there wouldn’t be nearly as many skeletons in stores. The worst of it would be in bus or train stations, the spaceport, and homes.

 N stopped at a children’s store. “Alright. I took some of the clothes that were here, but the toys probably didn’t get raided much, and I only took a few. Tell me if you see anything you want, buddy. We won’t be able to get everything, but we’ll get a few things.” 

 Uzi pushed the door open.

 Cyn immediately caught sight of some crayons, picking up the 64 count box, then looking to N for approval. 

 “Sure. Do you want to see if any of the coloring books survived the cold?” N stepped over to the shelf Cyn was standing in front of. “The stuff in here looks like it’s in pretty good shape.”

 Uzi projected a message for N on her visor: u gonna mention ur crayon stash?

 N responded: nah, i’m keeping that to myself :]

 V chimed in with a message of her own: is that in your storage?

 N nodded.

 V shook her head. Should’ve known what was in there

 N was distracted from the conversation by Cyn dragging him over to a shelf with sticker packs.

 “Can I, have, some?” Cyn looked up at him hopefully.

 “Sure. They won’t take up too much space.” N picked Cyn up to get her to eye level with the shelf, setting her on his hip and turning to the side.

 Cyn paused, trying to decide which ones she wanted. Finally, right as N was about to conclude she was too overwhelmed by the options and ask if she needed help picking, she reached for a few specific ones.

 One was a pack of holographic space-themed stickers, one had dogs and cats, and one had glittery mermaid stickers. After a moment of thinking, she also reached for some unicorn stickers, which were supposedly scented.

 Cyn stuffed the sticker packs in her coat pockets and wiggled to tell N to put her down. Once she was on the ground, she ran over to a container of wooden toy swords and took one. “Big brother, N! You, have a, sword hand. Can we, fight?”

 “Little buddy, mine’s a real sword. You could get hurt. I can use one of the pretend ones, though.” N took another wooden sword out of the same container.

 Cyn shouted, “Engarde!” and took the first swing with her fake sword.

 “How does she know that word?” Uzi asked V. They had both hung back by the front door, standing by various displays of toys.

 “Tessa had a training sword, and she was dramatic as all hell playing with it.” V laughed, but she looked down at the ground as she mentioned Tessa.

 “Like… a real sword? Did you guys wind up having to give her stitches or something?” Uzi had taken a wooden cupcake from a package- it wasn’t like there was a cashier to get after her for ruining the merchandise- and she was sliding the fake candle in and out to keep her hands busy.

 “It wasn’t sharp. It was one of the ones the professional sword fighters use to train, so they aren’t cutting each other during training. Made of black plastic. She put some green ribbon on the hilt.” V watched Cyn and N play-fight from her spot by the door. “Cyn tried to mess with it once. It was way too long for her, and we were all lucky that she only broke things from Tessa’s room.”

 “Your memories told me enough to know that that would have sucked for everyone. Congrats on making it out.” Uzi had moved onto spinning the wooden candle in between her fingers.

 “You can blame the you-know-what for us leaving.”

 Uzi almost asked what ‘the you-know-what’ was, before realizing V was probably trying to avoid scaring Cyn again by not mentioning the Solver. There’s no way in robo-hell that kid *doesn’t* have PTSD. The psychiatrist probably isn’t even going to wait six months to diagnose it.

 By then, Cyn had moved on from the wooden swords. She was now standing in front of a display of picture books, and having a shockingly easy time inferring the stories from the pictures on the covers. She had taken one about a rainbow witch, one called ‘I’m Not A Girl’ (Uzi and V both made a mental note to ask N later if Cyn knew he was trans,) and one about a girl who could turn into a crow.

 She gave them to N. “One, more thing?” She looked up at him hopefully.

 “We can get a few more things, actually. Are you getting the sword?” N took the books, quickly putting them in a bag he’d brought, along with the crayons.

 Cyn opened her mouth to answer, before pausing. She stood there for a little while, trying to decide.

 “We can decide when we’re about to leave, how about that? Let’s go see if there’s anything else you want.” N took Cyn’s hand, letting her lead him to the dolls and stuffed animals.

 V turned to Uzi. “She’s going to insist they’ll all be sad if she doesn’t bring them home. Just watch. That’s one of my points of judgement for what came from her and what didn’t, honestly.” She laughed, but it seemed fond more than mocking.

 “So… you’re saying you know when the Solv- the you-know-what was in control because it didn’t cry over stuffed animals being sad?” Uzi buried her face in a hand to hide her smile. “That’s kind of cute.”

 “Yep. Tessa’s parents threw out a couple of her stuffed animals, and I think Cyn was just as upset about the stuffed animals ‘dying’ as she was about Tessa being chained up.” V had taken a small stuffed dinosaur from the rack next to her and was playing with its spikes.

 “Did she know what death is because of her infection? Was it telling her what it wanted to do?” Uzi looked over at Cyn, confused. She hadn’t seemed aware of what the Solver was in N’s memories- then again, what she’d seen of Cyn could have been the Solver pretending to be her.

 “I don’t know. Either it hid everything from her, or it kept her from asking Tessa for help. I remember her mentioning there was a weird program on Cyn’s firmware that was keeping her from changing her eye color and giving her weird error messages when she tried, but it didn’t look like it was affecting anything else and she didn’t think it was worth using her time to take it off. That was right around the time Tessa had a lot of things her parents were making her attend. She didn’t want to be caught in her workshop when she was supposed to be their living trophy,” V explained, her voice getting more and more hollow with each word. Was she wondering if things could’ve been different?

 Uzi went quiet. Could Tessa have taken the Solver off Cyn’s firmware? Would it have changed anything? She didn’t want to think about life without N by her side and loving her through everything, without V teasing her all day every day but getting serious when it mattered. She suspected Cyn would quickly work her way into this life that was rising from the ashes of the Solver.

 She had never been around kids enough to know whether or not she was good with them, and she had assumed she wouldn’t like them, but she found herself enjoying Cyn’s company. She couldn’t help but see her younger self in her. 

 Maybe it was the part of her that was still five years old and wondering why all her problems were always, always ’her fault’ that wondered. The Solver still would have found a way. She still would have inherited it from her mom.

 But the Disassembly Drones might not have been deployed. (It would have found a way. Did she even want that to not have happened?) Her mom might still be alive to stand up to her dad. (No, she wouldn’t.)

 They’d all deserved better.

 Meanwhile, Cyn was having a hard time deciding which stuffed animals and dolls she wanted to take home. She stood holding two cloth baby dolls, one with light skin, and one with dark skin. Then she looked up at a shelf, noticing one with yellow clothes that had a medium skin tone similar to Tessa. “That, one!” She put the two dolls she’d been holding back down and tried to reach for the one dressed in yellow. Unfortunately, she wasn’t even close to tall enough.

 N picked her up again, holding her up to the shelf to grab the doll. “Do you want to get them a bottle or anything?”

 Cyn looked at the package, which included a magnetic pacifier along with the doll and its clothes, before nodding. She picked up a set including a bottle, a pacifier clip, two extra diapers, and a bib.

 Once N set her down, she put the doll and accessories in the bag. “Sword?”

 “Sure. We can get two, so we can have sword fights. You can pick out one more thing besides those, then we need to go.” N ruffled Cyn’s hair.

 Cyn stepped over to a display of toy cars, picking up a box of five.

 While Cyn was distracted, N dipped over to the other side of the back wall to grab two of the wooden swords, then quickly came back before Cyn could wonder where he went.

 Cyn gave N the box of toy cars, letting him lead her most of the way out of the store, before pausing at the door. “The, stuffed animals, will be lonely, if, I don’t, get them.” She looked down, trying not to cry, but also trying not to show it.

 “They have their friends, muffin. They’ll be okay.” N put a bag on his arm and handed the wooden swords to V (who rolled her eyes but accepted what she was handed.) He knelt down to Cyn’s level. “They’ll be just as happy hanging out with their friends, okay? You don’t need to do anything.”

 “Promise?” Cyn looked down at the ground.

 “I promise. Let’s head outside, and I’ll explain where we’re going next.” N got up and took Cyn’s hand. Everyone left the store, V and Uzi putting their makeshift fidgets down on the way out.

 V projected a message for Uzi on her visor: told you she would do that LMAO

 Once everyone was out of the store, N explained, “So V, Uzi and I have a system in the ship where we each have our own cups and plates for our food. I was planning to get you some too. Can we head that way now or do you need a minute?”

 Cyn paused. “Minute.” She let go of N’s hand and turned to V, wrapping her arms around the taller drone’s thighs. “Hi,” she said softly.

 V consolidated the toy swords to one hand and wrapped an arm around Cyn. “Hey munchkin.” She let Cyn stay clung to her.

 “Wow, never knew you were so good with kids. Are you an impostor?” Uzi laughed.

 “I think I need to be asking you the same question.” V rolled her eyes.

 “Be nice, big sister, V. And, Uzi.” Cyn gave Uzi a stern look before burying her face back in V’s side.

 “Uhh… sorry?” Uzi didn’t really know what she’d been expecting from Cyn, but she definitely hadn’t been expecting that.

 “They’re friends, buddy. They joke like that sometimes, they aren’t being mean to each other.” Anymore, N mentally added.

 Cyn nodded as best she could with her face buried in V’s side.

 After a few minutes, she let go of V’s legs, but grabbed her hand. “Ready.”

 N and Uzi, who knew their ways around a lot of the abandoned cities most other drones wouldn’t dare venture far enough to find, led the group to a different store. 

 This one was huge, and N had to admit he was relieved the lights wouldn’t have power. These huge stores were always the brightest (and their lights flickered, too) when Tessa’s folks brought him in to carry things, and if that overwhelmed him, he knew it would completely ruin Cyn’s day.

 Cyn followed V into the store, still holding her hand. They went past the food sections pretty quickly- they might or might not have been built with the ability to eat human food, but it would all be freezerburnt after so long in a frozen building anyway- and found their way to a section with plates and cups.

 “You can pick two cups, two plates and one bowl. Do you want me to pick you up so you can see the options better?” N looked over to Cyn, who nodded.

 V picked Cyn up and handed her to N, who put her on his hip and turned to the side so she could look.

 Cyn hummed a little, starting to smile when she realized she could hum without it sounding like the Solver. But she didn’t know how to put the light feeling in her chest- like a weight had been lifted- into words, so she just kept humming and picked up a light blue plastic cup with sharks on it.

 She looked over to big brother N’s new girlfriend. She was sad she [the Solver] had made him and big sister V not love each other anymore, but at least they still seemed to like each other. They were still friends, no matter what she [the Solver] had tried to do. And big brother N seemed happy. Uzi was nice to her and big brother N. None of them hated her.

 Big sister V was being mean to the other grown-ups now. But she wasn’t being mean to Cyn. Big brother N had said she and Uzi joked by being mean to each other, and Cyn didn’t understand why that would be funny. But she trusted him, and they didn’t seem like they were hurting each others’ feelings. She’d leave it be.

 She turned back to the shelves and grabbed another cup, this one with pink and purple dinosaurs and glittery hearts. She handed the cups to big sister V.

 Then she settled her eyes on the plates and bowls. Two plates, one bowl. Why is picking so hard?

 She stopped humming, sighed, and started putting extra energy into focusing. Eventually, she picked a plate and bowl to match the shark cup, and a second plate, light purple with constellations and smiley planets on it.

 “Are those the ones you want?” Big brother N asked.

 Cyn nodded.

 “Alright. Uzi said she saw some headphones by the door, so if you want a pair, we can get them. Might make things a little easier for you.”

 Cyn looked at him. She didn’t need them, she just needed to try harder and stop throwing tantrums when things got too loud.

 “I need ‘em sometimes too, kid. And even if you don’t, better to have them and not need them than to need them and not have them.” Uzi smiled at Cyn.

 Cyn paused, mind completely blown. She’d never heard of a grown-up using headphones before. Tessa’s parents had always said she was too old for them (but… they were really, really mean, so maybe they were wrong.) Still, she’d never seen it before. It was a weird thought.

 She nodded.

 “Sure. Where’d you see them, Zi?” N let Uzi lead the group to an aisle near the door. The shelf she led them to was a good bit taller than even N, and it held headphones all the way up.

“You can pick a pair. Maybe we can add a bow, too.” V ruffled Cyn’s hair.

 Cyn looked up and pointed at a pair of periwinkle headphones on the top shelf. Unfortunately, said top shelf was too high up for even N to reach. It was more like the top of the rack than an actual shelf.

 Uzi raised her hand and started to bring up three fingers, before putting her hand back down and unfurling her wings, flying up to the “shelf” and grabbing the package.

 Once both feet were on solid ground, she put the package in a bag N was holding on his arm. “There. We need to head home; Dad’s probably gonna ground me again if I get home after dark. I made sure not to tell him that you guys don’t actually burn in the sun.”

 Cyn looked quizzically at Uzi. Wasn’t she a grown-up? Why was she still living with her mommy and daddy? But she couldn’t talk, again, so she was forced to drop the question.

 They had just about gotten to the exit when the lights came on for a moment- they were bright- before turning off again.

 Cyn screamed and buried her face into N’s shoulder, holding onto her stuffed elephant for dear life.

 “That’s weird. Maybe we should get out of here before we run into any ghosts,” big sister V said, barely seeming concerned at all.

 Why wasn’t she scared? The Solver was making the lights do weird stuff! It was going to come back and it would make her hurt big-

 “It’s not ghosts, V. With all the skeletons around here, we’d have already seen them if there were any. The nuclear power plant still has a couple reactors that didn’t get shut down or kaboomed, so it’s probably that. Still weird though.” Uzi brought the group outside as she explained her theory. “I’ve seen it once or twice.”

 That didn’t make Cyn feel much better. It had to be the Solver, it had to be. It was mad it couldn’t use her to hurt people anymore and it wanted her back.

 “It’s okay, buddy. It’s just a power surge; we’re safe.” N put his hand on Cyn’s back.

-time skip-

 N put the bags of stuff in his backpack. Once he was satisfied everything was crammed in as well as it could be, he zipped the backpack up and put it on his front.

 V handed him Cyn, who was almost asleep after her anxiety attack outside the store. “Well, see you at home.”

 “Yeah, see ya.” N nodded and took off. The wind was picking up, and he was glad they hadn’t headed home any later. There was definitely a snowstorm coming.

 Thankfully, he was still able to navigate, and he eventually landed right outside the pod. He pinged V to let her know they’d arrived, and then he unlocked the door.

 Behind him, Uzi spoke. “Hey N, I gotta go. I don’t wanna get grounded again. Love you.”

 “Love you too, Zi. Good luck getting back in time!” N looked back behind himself. Uzi was already taking off to fly back as fast as she could.

 “Bye, purple!” V’s voice rang out behind N as he opened the door and let her in.

 N set Cyn on the couch before taking his backpack off and sitting down. “Poor kiddo. I wish we’d known the lights would do that.”

 “Yeah, no kidding. I can’t even be mad at the purple thing for not mentioning it; she said she’s only seen it once. Sure hope we never see it again though. Those lights are way too bright. And look how Cyn reacted to the scare.” V set the toy swords and bag of plastic dishes by N’s backpack. They’d go through that stuff later.

 N nodded. “Can you get her some pajamas? They’re in the box by the couch.” He took Cyn’s boots off her, then started taking her coat off too.

 Cyn did her best to help, but she was falling asleep, so N did most of it.

 V nodded.

 Cyn, her coat off, had snuggled up to N. She was sucking her thumb.

 “Heh, kinda forgot she does that. It’s cute.” V looked over at Cyn as she grabbed a pair of pajamas- made of soft fabric with a visible texture, colored pale pink with cats and constellations on them- from the box.

 N smiled. “I’m just glad she can’t hurt her teeth by doing it. Apparently that can happen to human kids when they suck their thumbs once they’re too old.” 

 “Yeah, that’s not a battle I wanna have to pick. It’s clearly doing something for her.” V stood up, using a scissor attachment from her hand to cut the tags out. “Hey, munchkin? I have some pajamas for you.” She stepped over to the couch and lightly poked Cyn’s shoulder. “C’mon. It’s time for bed.”

 Cyn half-opened her eyes, taking the pajama set, getting up, and ambling behind the screen divider.

 She stood there behind the divider for a moment, quickly realizing she wasn’t going to be able to figure out the steps in her head. Her thoughts were going too slow and just wouldn’t get in order.

 She plopped down on the floor and grumbled.

 “Need help, buddy?” N called from the couch.

 “Mhm.” Cyn wished she didn’t have to ask, but at least this way she was still doing what he wanted.

 “Okay. I’m coming.”

-time skip-

 N brought Cyn out.

 She was limp in his arms, her stuffed elephant dangling along with the hand holding it.

 “Do you want V to help tuck you in?” N adjusted Cyn in his arms as he asked.

 “Mhm.”

 V bit back a verbal comment about having been volunteered without asking, but put a message for N on her visor: Well, THANKS. I *totally* volunteered for this /s

 But she sat down next to Cyn once N put her in the sleeping bag. “Night, munchkin. I’m glad we have you back.” She let Cyn grab her hand (thankfully not with the hand that had been in her mouth.)

 “Night, muffin. I’ll be here if you need me.” N also sat down and ruffled Cyn’s hair.

 After a few minutes, she was asleep, and N got up with a message on his visor: can you come with me? gotta talk

 V nodded, getting up and following N into the cockpit. She internally sighed, wondering if he was mad at her. There was no reason for this! She was V, she shouldn’t be scared of pissing people off! Maybe Cyn was rubbing off on her. Or maybe she was going back to the way she had been at the manor.

 “Just so you know, since you were wandering around last night,” N started quietly, “she had some nightmares. I don’t know if that’s gonna be a regular thing or not, but just keep an eye out. She was screaming in her sleep, and she made me sleep with her the rest of the night.”

 V didn’t know whether to be relieved that N wasn’t mad at her (that was stupid, she hadn’t been nervous,) or just sad for Cyn. She hadn’t been much younger than Tessa when the Solver decided to ruin everything, and it had definitely messed her up. All that, plus being a little kid, plus the homicidal entity in question using you as its body? That’s going to fuck a kid up. She was honestly just surprised Cyn hadn’t had more flashbacks and such than she actually did.

 “I’ll look out for it.” She looked over to the nest of pillows and blankets. Cyn and her elephant in her sleeping bag were at the center of it. For now, she was sleeping peacefully.

 “Thanks.” N stepped down out of the cockpit, taking a blanket from the nest and putting it on top of Cyn. “Maybe we can talk about rearranging in here so she has a private space. We can probably go find some more of that divider.”

 “I think I remember where we got that. Might be hard to find unless we have another clear day soon, though. You can stay here so Uzi can use her powers without Cyn freaking out, I guess?” V sat down on the cockpit steps.

 “Sure.” N’s phone dinged, so he took it out. “Sounds like Uzi got back in time.”

 “Good. We both know what I’m going to do to her dad if he tries any funny business.” V crossed her arms. “Still can’t believe he was totally fine with us just killing her. Especially since he knows it was our squad leader who killed her mom. The fucking gall of that man.”

 “Yeah, I… don’t know how he was planning to live with himself. It definitely tracks though,” N said sadly. “I don’t wanna think about it.”

 “Let’s go sort the stuff before it all starts blending in with everything else.” V got up from the steps, walking over to the bags by the couch. She sat down on the floor in front of the couch and started going through one of the bags of toys.

 “This brings back memories, literally.” N sat down on the floor nearby, taking the second bag of toys out of his backpack and separating the contents by where he was planning to put them for the moment.

 “I’m still not used to you knowing how we got turned into robo-vampires in the first place. Got used to you thinking we actually did come from JCJenson, I guess.”

 “I’m glad Cyn doesn’t hate me for what it did. I just wish she didn’t blame herself. She deserved better.” N got up, putting the crayons, paper and the stickers (which he’d taken out of Cyn’s coat pockets when she took it off) on a shelf.

 “We all did, mate.” V picked up Tessa’s accent a little bit on the last word.

 N decided not to point out the temporary Australian accent. He got up, putting the books in a small storage space at the bottom of the coffee table, then taking the baby doll and its accessories out of the packages. He put that on top of the boxes with Cyn’s clothes, making the doll a little nest and blanket with a few shirts.

 “If Cyn names that doll after Tessa, Uzi’s probably not gonna be happy. You heard her talking about taking out all the humans who didn’t get caught on Earth.” V laughed as she propped the toy swords up against the wall.

 “We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it. Besides, I think she saw enough of Tessa in my memories to not think that stuff about her.” N took the bag of dishes and made his way over to a cabinet about half the length of a dresser, putting the dishes inside- sans bag- once he made some room.

 “I think that’s everything. We can deal with it in the morning if it’s not. I’m tired.” V glanced over at Cyn. “Is she okay?”

 “That might be the start of a nightmare. I’ll go sit with her.” N’s face darkened as he stepped back over to Cyn’s nest and sat down next to her. He put a hand on her shoulder, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth.

 After a moment of hesitation, V also came over to sit with Cyn. She put a hand on her back, patting it a little.

 Cyn seemed to register the presence of people who would protect her, even as she cried from the nightmare that was flinging her back into the past. She rolled towards N.

 N picked her and her stuffed animal up, settling the bundle of blankets in his lap. He was doing his best not to have to wake her. “You’re safe, buddy.” He kept his voice at a whisper to not wake the girl.

 Cyn seemed to register the voice, though she stayed asleep. Slowly, her tears stopped. She relaxed into N, leaning into him.

 “I can stay with her if you want.” V didn’t add any commentary to her offer, but she did reach out for Cyn.

 “Can you?” N handed Cyn over, watching for a moment to make sure she stayed calm.

 “Sure.” V adjusted Cyn’s position in her arms. “Be prepared for her to want you though.”

 N nodded. “Yeah, I figured.” He went silent after that, starting to think.

 The situation was a ”damned if it happens, damned if it doesn’t” type of thing, to some extent. Sure, Tessa had been planning to run away with all her drone friends the second she turned 18, but that had still been a few years off. They all had to make sure her parents didn’t throw them out before then, and that was if their abuse didn’t just wind up killing her. N had tried to call Family and Community Services once, but the social worker wouldn’t take the word of a drone over the word of humans. Especially given the Elliotts’ status.

 The price of freedom turning up before then had been too steep. They’d been forced to kill and cannibalize, and it had gone on for years. And had Tessa survived? It was possible she’d escaped; she certainly had practice escaping and hiding from her parents, but they didn’t have telekinesis. And she would have had to get to the nearby spaceport and get on an outgoing ship in such a short span of time that it was probably only possible with serious adrenaline.

 But things were rising from those ashes. Uzi had turned up. She’d been out for oil, then made friends with them (she loved N, he didn’t understand why,) and realized things weren’t what they seemed. 

 They’d been able to take Cyn from the Solver. He had been hoping for it since the day his memories had been uncovered, and maybe even in the flickers of the truth before then, but he hadn’t been able to find the right words. He’d just secretly taken a piece of clothing that would fit her or a toy he thought she’d like from one of the abandoned stores whenever he could do it without having to explain, because he couldn’t explain. Something would make his tongue heavy whenever he’d try.

 He looked over at Cyn, no longer crying as she laid against V’s body, curled up in her lap as a bundle of blankets.

 She had been held back by the thing that had used her, forever staying five years old. It had been a form of control, and it might have been the strategy that led to everything turning gory and dark.

 But he would make sure there was a silver lining. She still had a whole childhood ahead of her because of it, albeit with the first few years taken.

 The rest of her childhood would be safe, and as happy as he could possibly make her trauma allow. She would get as much therapy as she needed, and it wouldn’t be the wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing kind that Uzi had been subjected to. Her feelings wouldn’t be dismissed. When she messed up or broke a rule, the response wouldn’t be to make her regret it and call it discipline; it would be to have a conversation to see what could be done to fix any damage and to prevent it from happening again. She would be taught skills like impulse control, not punished for not having them. She would be able to make choices for herself and be accommodated when the typical way wasn’t going to work.

 And N looked forward to the smaller things she would get to do. She would get to play in the snow as much as she wanted. (She’d never seen snow back on Earth.) She would get to swing in between her big brother and big sister, now that they were tall enough. She’d get to play dress up and jump on the couch and watch TV shows whenever there was a blizzard too harsh to go outside. (N had a small list already started in the notepad of his phone.)

 The Solver had turned this planet into a snowy wasteland, and it had brought them all here to terrorize the new mechanical life that had found a way. But it hadn’t expected to be subdued. It hadn’t expected its puppets to find a way out. It hadn’t expected its toys to make a new life in the radioactive snow.

 N wasn’t usually spiteful, but he was perfectly fine with angering the thing that had ruined so much for so many. Especially after what it had done to the people he loved.