Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Boruto Uzumaki sat on the edge of a tree branch next to his mentor. Sasuke leaned quietly against his leg, his sword resting at his side.

It had been two weeks since they had returned from the past, and something was tormenting the young boy.

Night had already fallen, the stars were shining as always, and a light breeze caressed the Uchiha's cheek, slightly revealing his Rinnegan.

"Hey, Sasuke," Boruto said, absentmindedly swinging his legs in the air. "What do you know about the Hyuga?"

As usual, the mentor remained silent for a moment, mulling over, selecting, and sorting through all the information he had acquired over his years of traveling. However, when he spoke, his words seemed cautious, as if he were entering dangerous territory. Or perhaps he was telling a complicated story.

"One of the oldest and most powerful houses in Konoha. They hold the secrets of the Byakugan and gentle fist techniques. They are descendants of the Otsotsuki. The Uchihas trace their roots to the Hyuga clan."

A silence fell as Boruto looked up at the moon. Its light illuminated his face, he seemed almost pale, and the mentor realized he might not have inherited everything from Naruto.

Sasuke sighed.

"If you want to know more about your family, why not ask Hinata?"

The exact word he used was "hime," meaning "princess." The choice almost made Boruto wince; it was strange to hear him refer to his mother with such respect.

"Dad said not to push it. That old man..."

Sasuke cringed slightly at the remark.

"This is about Neji, isn't it?" he asked.

The blond boy glanced at his mentor, wondering if he'd acquired psychic powers. Or if he was that easy to read. He wasn't, was he?

"Years ago, the Hyuga family was divided into two branches: the Sōke and the Bunke.
The Sōke were considered privileged by the Bunke, and the Bunke were considered sacrifices by the Sōke," he explained calmly.

The Uchiha glanced briefly at his student, silently wondering whether he should continue. This wasn't his story after all, and everyone agreed that the past would be forgotten.

But he continued.

"Neji was born into the Bunke branch." He continued, "He was a genius, gifted and intelligent. But also destined to die for the Sōke, just like his father, Hizashi."

The name was spoken like a secret, and it ringed in Boruto's mind.

Neji was Mom's cousin, which means...

He straightened up and turned to his mentor. The man looked at him, and his expression betrayed nothing but honesty.

The words repeated in his head: Sacrifices, Destiny, Hizashi...

Seeing his student's expression, Sasuke realized he might have said too much.

It reminded him of himself, ten years earlier, when he'd finally heard the truth from his own brother. His gaze softened, and he stood up.

"All you need to know is that Neji Hyuga was a hero and a genius who turned all odds in his favor," he reassured him, though he'd never truly known the man.

Boruto nodded, accepting the quick resume he'd made, and stood up, following the man back to the village.

Boruto turned to Sasuke as he reached the front door of the Uzumaki household. He had retrieved his usual grin he'd inherit from his father.

"Thank you, Mister Sasuke"

The Uchiha gave him a small smile, the one he'd give him as usual. The door of the Uzumaki house opened, casting the indoor warm light on the porch. It was Hinata.

The woman seemed tired, though dark circles never showed on her face like Sasuke. She was always showing a calm face, and apologetic eyes.

"Welcome home, Boruto" She said warmly with a maternal voice, "Thank you for bringing him, Sasuke" she added

Boruto yawned and entered the house, which owned a chuckle from the Hyuga. As she was about to close the door, Sasuke spoke.

"He asked about Neji."

Hinata froze, her eyes widening then darkening with saddeness she was quick to hide. She opened the door, silently asking him to come in.

Sasuke stood up while the woman was making tea. He didn't decline her offer, she seemed to need it.
She sat down at the dining table, a cup of tea between her hands.

"Tell me." She asked

Sakura always told Sasuke that it made her sad when Hinata asked something. Even when she was demanding something, her tone always faltered at the end of her sentence, like she was doubting her own authority.

He sat across her, not bothering with taking his black coat off.

"I told him about the Bunke and Sōke." He announced slowly, using the same cautious tone, though it differed from the tone he'd used with his mentee.

Her grip on her cup tightened. She motioned from him to continue.

"I told him Neji died a hero, like his father. And he was a genius." He completed

The woman nodded, accepting his answers.
Sasuke could see the weariness in her eyes. He could see the old scars inside her opening up.It wasn't because she was easy to read, he just knew her.
Maybe his wife had told him so much about her, since they were young. Maybe it was the idiot, having that lovestruck look on his face that made Sasuke question his own expression when he talked about Sakura.

"You haven't told him?" He asked, his tone showing the surprised he'd felt earlier
"Would you tell Sarada about your clan?" She replied

Her words weren't intended to harm, and from anyone else it would have sound like an insult, a low blow. From her, it was a simple reply, no double meaning or pun intended.

"We were at war. Death happens. Sacrifices..."The word was slow and heavy in her mouth, almost strained "were part of it. Neji had no choice but be one."

Sasuke could see the pain in her eyes, the clouds forming in her mind.
Of course he knew that look, he could see it when he was standing in front of a mirror.

"And what do you think?" He asked after a long pause
"You know what I think"

Chapter Text

And what do you think?"
"You know what I think"
---
The woman accross him sighed and fidgeted with her fingers, like she used to do when they were kids.

At this moment, the front door opened.
The idiot was finally home.

"I'm home" Naruto announced, yawning as he entered the living room.

His eyes showed his surprise as he saw the both of them at the table.

"What's going on?" He asked when he saw his wife's expression, though she had replaced it with one of her usual smiles.
"Welcome home" Hinata said as she stood up

The Hokage's gaze softened and he smiled gently at her. Sasuke sighed, he never understood how Hinata had fallen for that dumbass,especially since the Academy.

"You're already going?" The dumbass asked as his old rival stood from his chair

The Uchiha didn't answer immediately, just quickly glancing towards the Hyuga.

"Take care" He told them before exiting the house to go to his own, hoping his wife and daughter had not waited for him until this late.

°°°°°°
"It's enough for today" Neji concealed, blocking his cousin's fist.

Sweat was dropping from his forehead, and the younger one was panting, catching her breath.

"Thank you, big brother" She said as usual after every training session with him

He nodded in response, his eyes glowing with pride towards her improvements. A pride he'd been feeling since a few months, after returning from his rescuing mission with the others.

"I told you to not call me that" He sighed, though he would never admit he was amused by her persistence. He reached out for a towel and sat down, wiping his damped face.

She looked down at her feet, mumbling apologies as usual. For once, he'd felt guilty.

The scene changed. They were teenagers, around 15 and 16 years old.
The cousins had a new ritual after each mission. They would sit at a table, drink tea in silence. Sometimes, the others tagged along. Sometimes, Neji would refuse. He always liked having his quiet peace.

"Hinata." He called softly, a tone he used more often. It bothered her how he still used honorifics.

She looked up, and she saw him smile.

"I'm proud of your determination." He said, looking away to the sky, watching the birds fly.

The words sounded like apologies. It reminded her of a younger Neji, the one she'd known when her uncle was still alive.

'I'll do anything to protect you' He had said at the time.

The scene changed, and they weren't kids anymore. She wished they still were.

The medics transported the young man's body. He was smiling towards the sky, his eyes closed. The mark on his forehead had disappeared. He looked younger, at ease, like he was sleeping.
She watched his pale face, the now dry blood at the edges of his lips, the dirt in his long brown hair, the holes through his chest....

"Big Brother" She yelled, trying to reach him while Lee held her while pleading her to go with them back to the village. His eyes were closed, he couldn't dare to look at his best friend's body.

°°°°°°

Hinata woke up, her hand reaching out to the void.
It took her minutes to recognize the surroundings. No, she wasn't covered in dirt and blood.
She had pyjama's on instead of the heavy jacket she was wearing.

She wasn't wearing the headband on her forehead and it's been years since she had even held one in her hands.

The only thing that didn't differ from her dream was that Neji was still dead. And it's been 15 years.

She used to count the hours in her head. 247 hours since she saw him smile, 253 hours since they spared...

Ino got her out of that habit.

"You'll exhaust yourself" She had stated, while holding her hands to keep her attention.
Hinata had counted exactly 363 hours since she had shared tea with him.

The Hyuga sighed, getting out of bed. It was way too early for her to already have the breakfast ready. She glanced at her nightstand, taking one framed picture among the many others she had.

It was a picture of Neji and her, maybe her favorite. She wasn't sure if Tenten had taken it, or if it was Shino.

Hinata was always good at remembering things. From her friends' favorite colors to small things they've confided to her.
When it came to her 'brother', she felt like something was missing. Or maybe the fear of forgetting played a trick on her.

Anyways, the picture showed the young man, sitting at one of the barbecue tables they used to sit at. He was around 14 years old, holding his glass, smiling to her. Hinata was across from him, laughing too.

She remembered Sasuke's words.

'What do you think?'

It had been a long time since someone'd asked her what she thought about her family.
The last time was 15 years ago.

°°°°°
Hiashi Hyuga was sitting in front of his daughter, the same stoic look on his face, like he was made of cold stone. The time and the loss of his nephew had an impact on the stoic man, strands of white hair being more present in his brown hair. He was almost scarier.

Hinata could never look long at him without reminiscing his harsh words, his commands for her to stand back up, even when she could taste blood in her mouth.

"The Hyugas do not need her" Like he always said, no matter if she were or weren't in the room.

He came to announce her his new resolution : The Hyuga clan were now standing as one family.

"What do you think?" Hiashi asked, watching his daughter attentively
"It's a good idea" she agreed

A long pause.

"I'm sorry." He said, and it almost sounded painful for him to say it
"Don't be, Father." She reassured him.

Since the end of the war, he had taken a habit to apologize to her. She didn't need it, and she felt more pathetic.

Hinata had retrieved her Shinobi headband on the same day.

°°°°°°

Chapter Text

Naruto was seated at his desk.

It was one of those nights where Shikamaru would send him home with worried eyes and an apologetic smirk.

He knew his friend tried his best to help him. But he could see in his black eyes the same exhaustion reflecting. They had agreed that he deserved to go home to his wife and kid, too.
It made both the men guilty how easy they were to read.

The blond sighed, holding his head between his hands. When he was a boy, he'd never imagine being Hokage included so many paperwork. He remembered how old man Hiruzen and Granny Tsunade's office was empty, nothing to do with his own. He couldn't even make one step without hitting and blowing away a pile of papers.

He glanced at the framed picture of the team 7. It reminded him of Sasuke's visit, earlier. It shouldn't feel that odd, maybe he should have insisted on him staying longer or coming more often, but Naruto knew he would have been pushing too far.

His rival was not the type of person to come in his house, let alone have tea with Hinata.

Naruto had seen Hinata and Sasuke talk to each other for information on the man's missions. Their combined work helped a lot on the Otsotsuki investigation.
But he knew this conversation was not about anything like that.

He'd known Hinata for almost his whole life, from the Academy to this day.

He could recognize waves of happiness in her eyes, they made him think of fresh  lavender and his heart would beat faster.
He could recognize those of  disappointment, she would cross the fingers of her left hand, it made him want to tell her how much he loves her, because she hated apologies.
He could recognize those of fear, she would hold her fingers close to her lips, it made him want to take her hand and hold it against his chest.

However, the waves he could recognize the easiest were the waves of saddeness. It was when she would get so lost in herself, that she would not move an inch. Her eyes would lose their sparks, her fingers were stiff at her side, and her face was a mask of stone.

The waves would retreat as fast as they hit the shore of her heart. But tonight, he almost heard the crash of the waves, and it ringed just like it did 15 years ago.

°°°°°°
It was a late night, and they decided to reunite over dinner, maybe to agree that they were still young. Outside, the village was calm, few people passing by, yelling due to alcohol and the joy of the new found peace.

The war had ended 2 weeks ago, and surprisingly, Konoha had found its old calm.

Naruto grinned as he watched over his friends.
Shikamaru was scolding Choji for eating way too fast, Ino and Sakura were talking and laughing together, Tenten was handling Lee and Kiba's antics, and Shino and Saï were eating silently, sometimes the pale man would throw weird jokes which everyone had grown used to.
Hinata was silently cutting a piece of meat with her fork.

Next to her, there was little void, a space between her and Lee's chairs. She had been staring at it for some time now.

"You look tired, Hinata. Do you need something?" Lee asked, after getting a hit from Tenten

She looked up at him and smiled quickly. Naruto noticed how her eyes seemed darker, how her smile was just a thin line and how she didn't even look at Lee.

Ino squeezed her hand.

"You'll exhaust yourself"

°°°°

Chapter Text

°°°°°
The first thing Hinata learned was fear.

"Hinata, listen. Fear ignites the fire within us. It's what makes us weak to others, and what makes others a strong use to us." Hiashi explained

She was four when she heard those words.

She had made the mistake to flinch at the sound of a sudden door closing.
And Hiashi made sure it wouldn't happen again.

"I forgave too many things" He might have thought.

She couldn't know.

Hinata couldn't know what fear was. If fear was like fire, why would she instill it into someone? And why would she use someone?

Before she could find the answers to those questions, Hiashi's patience ran out. And the ones dealing with the consequences were Hinata and Neji.

After long training hours, when she rested her eyes, she could hear the screams of her cousin, picture his mad expression turned to the sky as he held his forehead.

She tried to reach out, but each time Hiashi would glare at her, and she knew it would be her turn if she even tried.

And Hinata had to watch. Sometimes, Neji would be too weak to stand, or pass out from the pain. And Hiashi would turn around and leave the children.

°°°°°°

The sun wasn't up when Hinata finally decided to get out of her bed.
She didn't want to wake up her kids, or her husband.
With a sigh, the Hyuga went to walk, watching everything around.

The cold breeze and the frost on the grass were reminders that winter was near. And so was her birthday.

She used to hate her birthday. Her father didn't celebrate it after she got passed three years old.
It wasn't until she turned 13, that she learned the reason. And still, they never tried to celebrate it.
Instead, when she woke up, everyone at their home would congratulate her.
Neji and her father would be away for the whole day, and they would come back when the moon was high up in the sky.
In the morning, she would find a flower on her nightstand.

Hinata shook her head, trying to stop her mind from wandering too far.

Now it was different, right?

When she wakes up on her birthday, Boruto and Himawari have the breakfast ready and Naruto prepares a surprise party (Hinata suspected Sakura to have given him that idea, she just couldn't prove it).

Her father would send her a gift, because he kept the tradition to go to his brother's and late wife's graves on that very day.

Hinata continued to walk around the village, enjoying the silence.
After the Akatsuki's 'visit' and the war, Konoha had grown and changed.
Every old houses were now gone, or renoved. When she walked around the village with Himawari, Hinata would tell her how it used to be.

"You sound like an old lady, Mom" her daughter would chuckle

Hanabi also used to laugh at her sister. When she was young, she said that she was wise, but as she grew up, she called her "Grandma".
Neji used to smile at the jokes...

She continued to walk, and she could almost see the kids they all were walking around, yelling at each other and laughing out loud.
She turned right on the street where the drug store belonged, and she could see Kina and Shino arguing over the previous mission.
She watched the rooftops, she could see Sasuke, with his usual frown that made her roll her eyes.
Her pace quickened and she could feel Sakura holding her hand as she dragged her near the river to arrive before Ino and Tenten to watch the sunset.
She passed the barbecue restaurant, she heard Shikamaru and Choji arguing over the bill.
She was now running, Rock Lee was taking laps of the village on his hands, screaming about youth, already far already from her.
Before she realized it, she was in front of the tea shop Neji liked.
Hinata caught her breath, as a young Neji and a young version of her entered the tea shop, their clothes dirty and both of them laughing.

The sun rises , and the night gives a final bow. And the 11 children too.

Chapter Text

°°°°°°
It was a day of July, that's what he remembered.
He also remembered he would have liked to be there in June.

After a long trip(and many negotiations) Sasuke Uchiha had accepted to come back to Konoha for a limited time.

To him, he was always a runner.

He used to bear a light inside of him, a purpose. Sasuke was sured of it, there once was good in his heart.

Vengeance was his only motive for too long.

It didn't hold any meaning. It was just a thrown word he'd heard about.
But that's what he had learn from his father, and that's was the essence of a shinobi.

"No matter the mission, no matter the fallen. What was taken had to be retrieved, what was lost had to be regained." Sasuke could recite, it was the rhythm of his childhood as an Uchiha.

Pride was such an old refrain, it ringed with notes such as values, justice and ambition.

But what has he becomed to be an avenger? What has he becomed to put a weigh on justice? What has he becomed to earn what he was never worthy of?

What was he but a coward?

As soon as he passed the front door, he could sense the shinobis following him un the shadows.
Naruto had insisted about villagers forgiving the man, but Sasuke knew that 2 years were way too less time for everyone to settle.

He continued to walk around and he stopped as he saw the gates of Konoha's cemetery.
He wasn't allowed to assist to the fallen at war's funerals. No one would let him, and it wasn't like he really wanted to go.

He was the coward after all.

The Uchiha was about to go on to his way home, but a voice made him stop on his track. He recognized that voice, but he would have never imagined to perceive such grief in it...

From the cemetery, a birthday tune could be heard. The rhythm was slow, although it was accompanied with what was meant to be uplifting claps. The end of each word fell to a breath, an immense sadness emanating from it.

"Sasuke?"

He didn't need to turn to know it was her. The way his heart skipped a beat was enough.
Sakura Haruna was looking at him with a relieved expression, though her eyes revealed pity.
He was glad it wasn't towarded to him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, awkwardly balancing from a foot to an other
"I'm visiting. It changed around here"
"Yeah"

The summer breeze made Sakura's hair float around her soothing face. He wanted to reach out and brush his fingers across her cheeks.

"What are you doing here? Are you visiting someone?" he pointed out at the flowers and the bag she held in her hands

She hesitated before sighing, pressing the palm of her hand on her forehead.

"No. We're helping Hinata" she looked at the cemetery like she was able to see the young woman kneeling in front of a grave through the wall. 

"Neji.." She continued, like the name was supposed to explain a million of things. Maybe it did.

"She's doing better than before, but she has a habit to not leave his side when it's around his birthday."

"Oh."

That's all the Uchiha managed to reply. Pathetic

The kunoichi smiled.

"It's my turn but I'm busy with missions. I wish I could stay with them longer and... but...." she trailed off, looking at the sunflowers in her hand with a sad smile

"I could do it"

He doesn't know why, how and when he uttered those words. They did cross his mind, though. Perhaps it was seeing her so helpless, the sudden urge to ease her mind...

All he was certain of was his own surprise as he realized what he had just said.

Sakura's eyes widened. He was afraid she would laugh at his own stupidity. 

His surprise grew even more when he saw her nodding.

She didn't ask him why, because she could tell just by knowing him that he didn't know.

He reached for the bag of food and the flowers, his hand brushing against hers for an instant.

"Thank you" 

°°°°°°

After coming back from their past, Sasuke had seen what he had traded.

Time with Sakura and Naruto, or just being a kid.
Hanging out late after missions, complaining about overworking, spending money on whatever kids spent their money on, arguing with everyone over everything.
He deserved to be a kid.

He should've had friends to look back on, when his mind shifted to his path. He should be able to visualize all of them cleaning the bathhouse as a 'mission'. 

Maybe, he would like to be able to laugh until he couldn't breath. 

Maybe he would like to look around, and feel his heart swing with peace. 

Maybe Lee was right after all. 

Shikamaru told him about a mission he was untrusted with from the 5th Hokage. The man was laughing, telling him it was "such a drag".But Sasuke could guess from the look in his eyes and how he wearily exhaled the smoke of his cigarette that it had been rough.

He had caused each of them some sort of pain, and that was what he considered as his worst crime.