Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Bite down.”
“I can’t.”
“I said, bite down, Lotus.”

I closed my aching jaw, letting my teeth fix into the grooves of the retainer, feeling the hardened plastic settle against my teeth. The crowd was screaming all around me, a cacophony so loud I thought my eardrums were bursting. I could feel where a bruise was already beginning to bloom, the soft portion of my jaw pulsing painfully in lieu of the strike I had received moments earlier.
It was this fight, now or never, that would bring me the championship belt I had been gunning for ever since I first stepped foot into a ring. I could feel my muscles tensing, rolling, like a living thing writhing beneath my skin. I stood up, ready to continue.

But I was still timed out, my agent screaming in my ear over the sound of the crowd.

“When she goes for your head, you need to counter to the diaphragm. Clean. Don’t pull any punches on this. Hit her hard, bring her down, and make sure she stays there. You make her fucking tap. You can do this.”
I rolled my shoulders, jumping in place to keep my blood moving. I stepped forward again, making eye contact with the referee, who nodded at me, then at my opponent, and I stance up again.
The bell rang, signaling our start. But this match was already decided. Everything went wrong.

Inches. That’s all I had in that ring. Katrina O’Connell never backed down, the fierce gaze in her eyes telling me that she was not losing this fight, for any reason at all. ”You’re going down, Flower Girl.” No matter how many times I attempted to create distance, by jumping back or moving towards the cage, she was on me.

That famous right hook of hers glanced off multiple areas. My head. My chest. My arm. My leg. My ribcage, three consecutive times.

I felt my air snatched out of my throat, my usual timed defenses seemingly impossible to pull off. Finally, one well placed blow, directly behind my ear, knocked me down, and when I hit that mat, I only had seconds to realize that her elbow was aimed directly at my face. I dodged it just enough, but the damage was done.

I felt the snap reverberate through, my collarbone and shoulder snapping like a twig underneath the smashing blow. She took one final hit- a dirty one- straight to my temple.

I woke up in the hospital a day later, and my career was over.
--------------------------------------------
“Hange, you know I don’t need the job.”

“Of course you don’t, but Lotus, baby, please. I need you for this. I can’t get anyone else to apply!”

I sigh, swirling a glass of amber liquid. “Seriously, you want me to become a manager at your bar? I’m still being hounded by the press. I can’t just stroll in and say, ‘Hey guys, it’s me, Lotus Kramer, you know, the one you watched get fucked up live!’

They laugh, the sound rolling across my skin. “But yes, you can! Who would think you would be working at a bar of all places after your career?”
I ponder this for a moment. Maybe, just maybe, they had a point. I sip the whiskey, letting the alcohol tip down my throat and soothe the burning there. I set it down, before looking up at them.
“Alright, fine. I’ll do it. But I swear to Christ-“ I’m cut off by a loud screech, and they throw their arms around me, gripping me like I’m gonna fly away if they don’t. “Yes! You won’t regret this decision, I promise. The pay will be shit, but you’ll see, your gonna love it!”

I roll my eyes at that, knowing anytime they say that it ends up being a shit agreement. But whatever. It’s better than sitting at home, ignoring calls from a physical therapist and my father. I smile softly, letting their enthusiasm wash over me like a balm.

I would try, give this one shot before I quit life and finally just resort to hiding away like I planned.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And so, I found myself, in an empty bar, Hange chattering to me about my duties. It seemed simple enough, keycard in hand.

Open the registers for the bartenders, approve timecards, do inventory. Simple, mindless work. Paperwork, tucked into a small office in the back next to Hange’s. Minimal, clean.

The bar itself wasn’t flashy, but it had attitude. Matte black flooring, simple tables painted a deep burgundy with matching chairs that stood out underneath the dim, smoky lighting. A stage for live music, and a set of bathrooms, open to the public. A bar directly to the right of the double doors. So many neon signs that if you shut off the lights, you could still see. It wasn’t a dive bar by any means, but it wasn’t high class either.

The Corps was the only bar in town that allowed smoking indoors, which meant it was a hotspot for an older crowd, and occasionally college students looking to be free from an endless workload. They did themed nights, encouraging patrons to join the festivities.
An escape from daily life, wrapped in smoke and the smell of liquor. And it was perfect. I smile at Hange. “I like it already. Having my own office is nice. They smile back at me, and the kitchen door swung open, revealing a slightly disheveled, but happy looking blonde.

“Hey Hange, me and Sash are gonna clock in early. You want anything from the kitchen?” His eyes move to me, and he waves. I wave back politely. Hange seemed to vibrate.
“Oh, Niccolo! This is Lotus, the new manager! You guys are the first in tonight. Go grab Sasha so we can introduce her!” He disappears, the kitchen door swinging shut again, and Hange whips back around. “Follow me, my sweet flower baby! The staff is arriving, and I want to introduce you!” They whirl towards the door, a ball of pure energy as they push through.

I follow cautiously, my nerves choosing this moment to cause me an issue. Seriously, I’m media- trained, and I’m scared to meet the college students employed here? I shake my head, pushing the door open and walking into the large, open kitchen. There’s multiple prep tables, a restaurant grade stove and oven, and 4 large refrigerators. Two deep freezers, and a rack for hanging coats, currently occupied by multiple coats and hats.

I walk farther into the room, and the back door to the left of a prep table opens again, revealing a small brunette with a bright smile. She immediately brightens, before rushing forward and grabbing my hand. “Hi! You must be Lotus! Hange was just telling me about you! I’m Sasha, but everyone just calls me Sash for short. You don’t have a snack with you, do you?”
Before I can respond, Niccolo reenters, chuckling. “Sash, don’t harass the woman. I’ll make you some chicken tenders, okay?” This seems to placate her, and she moves over towards the fridge, pulling out a bag of what looks like tenders. I turn back to Hange, whose reentering with 2 tall young men and a sulky looking young woman, who she introduces as Eren, Jean and Mikasa.
Eren’s brunette hair keeps threatening to escape his ponytail, while Mikasa attempts to stop him from moving to fix it. They both throw me a short hello while Eren slaps Mikasa’s hand away gently, excusing themselves quickly. Jean stops nearby, offering his hand. I take it, his skin cool to the touch. “Sorry about them,” he rasps out, “they’re a bit of a handful. Don’t take their lack of attention as a personal thing.”

I chuckle, releasing his hand. “It’s alright, they seem fine to me. I’m Lotus.” He lets his eyes wander over me, and I can see the recognition flashing in his eyes. “You’re that fighter, huh? Hange didn’t tell us a celebrity was going to be joining our team.” I fidget, sliding my eyes away. “Yeah, I am. I’d rather not talk about it, though.” He seems to sense my discomfort, and smiles slightly. “Hey, I get it. Shit’s gotta be rough for you. I’m sorry about what happened.” I don’t respond right away, but I don’t have to, because Eren is yelling at Jean from the bar area. The door swings open slightly, and he bats at Mikasa’s hand again. “Yo, Horseface, get out here and help me! Fuck, stop it, Miki!” I turn back to Jean, and he smiles, dipping his head, before heading towards his two friends.

I stand still, listening to Niccolo scold Sasha for putting her fingers in a fresh batch of barbecue sauce. The back door of the restaurant swings open again, and a guy with a buzzcut dyed pink steps in, followed by a beefy blonde and a timid looking brunette. “What’s poppin, Scouts! Connie in the muthafuckin’ house!” His gaze sweeps the room, landing on me. “HOLY FUCK, IT’S LOTUS FUCKING KRAMER!” The two beside him also spot me, and I’m immediately crowded by the buzzcut and the blonde, introduced as Connie and Reiner respectively.

“Can I get your autograph?”

“Holy shit, you’re so much prettier in person!”

“You’re my favorite of all time!”

I hear Hange’s voice ring out, my saving grace. “Back the hell up, you two, she’s gonna suffocate!” The brunette walks by, snagging their sleeves. “Sorry about them, I’m Bertoldt, but you can call me Bert. Sorry again!” He drags them out towards the bar area, where they are still yelling, trying to get out of Bert’s iron grip on their sleeves. Hange walks back over to me, nudging my shoulder. I look over.
“You need a second? I know they’re a lot to handle all at once like this.” I shake my head, a small smile on my face.

“It’s only natural. I’m gonna get noticed regardless.”

They smile, lowering their voice. “There’s only a couple more, our kitchen manager, Erwin, who you know already, and Levi. He’s ex-military, and he can be a bit… prickly.”

As if on cue, the door slams open.

My head turns, and Erwin enters first, waving at me before proceeding to grab a chef’s jacket. I hear boots hit the ground, and a gravelly voice grind out.

“Oi, Four Eyes. Whose this?”

Chapter Text

Sharp steel grey eyes, glinting like a blade, cut directly through me. Tall, but not obnoxiously tall, maybe 5’8. Straight black hair, short with a fresh undercut. A simple black compression shirt, paired with a pair of what looks to be an all black version of military pants. Scuffed up combat boots to complete the look.

Still looking him up and down, I notice the variety of tattoos on him as well, something that seems to counteract the otherwise clean appearance. He crosses his arms, the muscles there flexing and settling, a criss-crossing of scars mixed into the ink. That voice again, like a gunshot in an empty field.

“Is someone gonna fucking talk, or are we all gonna just sit here? Introduce her.”

My throat immediately started working again, and I spit out a sentence.

“The name’s Lotus Kramer. Hange hired me for night manager.” He shifts, leaning against the doorway. “Night manager. The fuck do they need a night manager for?” Hange chuckles, walking over to clap him on the shoulder, which he shrugs off, his eyes still fixated on me, studying.

“Now, Levi, don’t scare her off. She just got here. Go find a corner to sulk in, or I’ll give you a job to do!” They sing, and Levi glares at them before brushing past me. He pauses nearby, a minty scent wafting towards me.

“Nice to meet you, Lotus.”

I hear his footsteps ring out again, before the door to the bar area swings shut again. Hange breathes out, the sound resonating in the too quiet space now that Sasha and Niccolo have stepped out.

“Well, at least he didn’t tell you to screw off. So, I’d say it went well!”

I roll my eyes slightly, and they clap, before heading towards the doors. “Let’s go get everyone clocked in, and I can help you set up your passwords for everything. Come on!”
------------
Once everyone is clocked in, Hange and I set up my passwords, and I set up a new spreadsheet to keep track of everyone’s positions and timecards. Connie and Sasha are bartenders, Eren and Mikasa are security, Reiner is the bouncer, and Bertolt is the barback. I set up the spreadsheet, color coded, before printing it and pinning it to a bulletin board. I sit back, sighing. It takes me a moment to register that one name is missing from the list. I shoot a text to Hange.

ME: hey, levi doesn’t work here?

HANGE: no, sweet flower! he just likes the atmosphere i think. you can usually find him in some corner typing away on his computer.

ME: oh, okay. i was only asking because i just made the timecard sheet.

HANGE: feel free to ignore him, everyone else already does most nights! let me know if you need anything, and dont hesitate to ask nic or erwin for food if youre hungry!

I close out the thread, setting my phone down before looking up at the blank walls of my small office. Maybe I can put up some photos or something. I’m so deep in thought that I fail to notice Levi standing in my doorway, still as a statue. I jump slightly at his sudden appearance. “Jeez, you’re quiet. I didn’t notice you.”

He treads further into the room, his icy glare taking in the empty walls and my sparsely furnished desk. I watch him, before he sits in the chair across from my desk, manspreading in the seat like he owns it. I arch a brow, but don’t say anything else. After a moment of silence, I return my gaze to my computer.

“You fought pro.” It isn’t a question.

I turn my head back to him, feeling myself tense slightly. “Yes, I did. Now, I don’t.”

“So, you can fight.”

I turn away from my computer fully, now directly facing him. “Did you have a question for me, or do you always speak in fractured sentences?”

His lips twitch ever so slightly in the corners, but his eyes remain icy. “Are you going to answer my questions if I ask?”

I tilt my head slightly. “Why would I? You don’t need to know my backstory, just that I work here now.”

This seems to set something off, because he leans forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s my business when I own half this bar. So again, can you fight or not?”

I blink, my voice harder now. “Yes, I can fight. I wasn’t aware Hange had a co-owner, so forgive me if I didn’t realize who you were.”

He leans back again, his face unreadable. “Are you still involved in organized fighting, or did that 12-6 end your career?”

I sigh, turning away from him slightly. I hate questions about how my final fight ended. For years, my name was plastered on practically every women’s fighting magazine in the country. I was big, infamous for my quick reflexes and ability to gauge a fighter’s next move. To lose it like I did…

“It ended it.”

He grunts, tapping a finger against his clothed thigh. “Why?”

I look up at him, my expression confused. “Does it really matter? If you couldn’t tell, I don’t really like to talk about this.”

“I don’t really care. Answer it.”

“I have mild amnesia due to the secondary hit that came after to my temple.”

His eyes narrow, somehow even colder than before. “That’s fucking pathetic.”

I scoff loudly, rolling my eyes. “Well, sorry to disappoint. I didn’t ask to have my fucking collarbone and shoulder shattered either, but here I am.”

I’m snappier than usual, but I make no effort to watch my tone. Co-owner of this bar or not, I still don’t answer to him.
Our matching hard stares seem to compete for a moment, before he sets a card on my desk. “If you feel like working through that, call this number. Not the mental shit, but the physical. I saw your x-rays. You can still fight if you want.” He rises, striding out the door and shutting it hard behind him.

I stare at the now empty chair, confused. He saw my x-rays? Those are classified…

I pick up the card. There’s no name on it, just a phone number. I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth and set it aside. For all I know, Levi just handed me a random’s phone number on a card to fuck with me. I turn back to my computer, putting that hardened gaze to the back of my mind.
------
The night ends on a high note, and I make sure to mark down everyone’s clock out time before heading back to my office to file everything. I’m knuckle deep in a stack of papers when Hange pops in to say goodnight, and I smile back at them, wishing them a good evening.

The bar finally falls silent, and I work until I’m too tired to continue, closing down my computer programs and shutting everything off.

I gather up what I brought with me, car keys and phone, before exiting the office. I head out the back door, setting the alarm Hange showed me and locking the door behind me. Before I exit from under the small overhang behind the bar, I scan the area.

The parking lot is empty of cars, except for mine and a black Mercedes parked across the lot. It’s running, so I hit the unlock on my car key before striding over to my car and sliding in. Once I do, the Mercedes’ lights turn on, and it swings out of the parking lot.

Once I’m sure it’s gone, I throw my car into gear and take off towards my house. When I arrive home, I realize I’ve left my porch light off. I open the glove compartment, pulling out the Kimber 9MM I keep hidden there. I check the safety before sliding it into my waistband and exiting the car. My head is on a swivel the entire way to my door, and I quickly input the code to unlock my home, reminding myself to reset the code next week.

I walk through the house, flipping on lights, silently checking each room I enter. Once I’m sure I’m alone, I strip. I head to the bathroom for a quick shower, realizing I’m once again out of my favorite sugar scrub. After, in the quiet of my living room, I stare down at the small black box on the table in front of me.

My fingers twitch, wanting to open it. I don’t have a reason to take the pills, don’t even have a prescription.

I lift the lid on the box gently, like there’s a sleeping cat waiting to panic on the other side. Light yellow pills, stamped with a single word: Percocet.

I breathe out a sigh, staring down at the pills. I could…
I snap the lid of the box shut.

I stand up, walking into the kitchen, and snag a bottle of Jim Beam off the counter before grabbing my pistol and heading back into the living room. I grab my kit to clean it with, and settle in, drinking heavily while meticulously taking apart and cleaning my pistol. I keep the lid of that box closed, just for tonight.

Chapter Text

I walk into a complete shit show the next night. Sasha is out sick, so Bertolt had to step in for her, leaving them without a barback. As I ran dishes back and forth from the kitchen, my mind was preoccupied by the little black box still sitting on my living room table.

I should have just grabbed one.

Finally, everything calms down, and I head to my office. Once safely enclosed in the small space, I recline slightly in my chair. A sigh releases from my throat, too loud. I can hear the low buzz of the crowd beyond my door but pay no mind to them as I remove the two shooters from my purse, downing them in succession. The alcohol burns low in my throat.

My thoughts are once again interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. I hesitate to answer yet again but decide its finally time to confront my issues. The caller ID shows it’s my father. I pick up after the fourth ring.

“Hello?”

“Lotus. You wanna tell me where the fuck you’ve been?”

I roll my eyes, but answer him. “Nowhere special, Dad. Just working and doing what I can.”

He scoffs, not buying my weak excuse. “You’re fuckin’ lying, again. When are you gonna start rehab? You keep saying next month, but it’s been 6 months now. The fuck are you doing?”

My door swings open silently, and Levi is once again leaning in my doorway. I hold up a finger, signaling him to wait. He strolls in, softly shutting the door behind him before resuming his place across from me like yesterday.

I sigh into the receiver. “Dad, I know you want me to fight but-“ He cuts me off quickly.

“It’s not a want, Lotus. You know the fucking deal!”

I pinch my nose, already annoyed. “A deal I never agreed to. You made that yourself.”

Levi taps my desk, and I look up. He makes a gesture, a request to put it on speakerphone. I tilt my head but listen and hit the button to put it on speaker.

My dad is fully ranting now. “You know we need this money, Lotus. You agreed you would help with the mortgage and bills, and now you’re backing out? That’s bullshit!”

Levi’s eyebrows rise, but I don’t pay attention to him. “Dad, I didn’t fucking agree to that, to you or to Lara. Stop trying to pawn your shit off on me. It won’t fucking work again.” I hang up, throwing the phone down on the desk.

“What agreement are they referring to?”

Levi’s voice snaps me out of the weird trancelike state I’ve settled in, and my eyes snap to his. “Once again, not your business.”

He snorts through his nose. “You know, I keep trying to be patient. One day, I’m gonna lose patience.”

I don’t respond, turning back to my computer. I hear him sigh, before he stands, moving around the desk and forcibly turning my chair around. He crouches down in front of me.

“Once again, Lotus, I’m gonna lose patience. What fucking agreement?”

I restrain the urge to hit him where it hurts, looking down at him.

“I don’t need to tell you that.”

He goes to stand, and my leg lifts automatically, stopping just before kicking him in the balls. “If you try to get in my face, Levi, I will protect myself.”

He doesn’t respond, eyes locked on mine. He stands slowly, but goes to lean in, and my reaction is instant.

My arm shoots out, connecting with his chest, and before I can react, he grabs my arm. He yanks me out of my seat, using my own motion to fling me toward the wall, and pulls my arm behind my back. I brace my hand against the wall, my breathing panicked by the sudden movement. I’m not pressed against the wall, simply restrained.

He walks into me, my arm now resting carefully against my back. “Answer me. I don’t particularly care for dramatics.”

I grit my teeth, thinking of ways to effectively remove myself from his grasp. I tap the back of my hand against my back, pretending to signal him to let go. His grasp slips ever so slightly at the gesture, and

I rip my arm out, turning on my heel and shoving him down into my office chair.

His eyes widen slightly, taken aback, but I don’t stop, placing my foot between his spread legs. “Let me repeat myself. Stand to me and I will defend myself. I’m not answering your fucking question. Don’t pry into my private life.” I slide my foot back down to the floor, and were both breathing faster, but not winded. He corrects his posture, before standing. I hold his eyes the entire time, and he turns to leave the office. He stops at the door.

“You’re lucky I’m patient, and that I like Hange.”

He slips out the door before I can respond.
------
By the time I’m ready to leave for the night, my nerves are completely shot. My teeth feel foreign in my mouth, and I’m ready for a glass of something that isn’t water.

I gather my stuff from my desk, softly shutting my office door behind me. As I walk through the now deserted bar, I can hear faint voices coming from the lounge seating area. Curiosity peaked, I head in that direction. When I peek around the corner from the office, my pupils blow wide.

It’s Levi, but not alone.

He’s standing near a table, an empty glass behind him. His arms are crossed, his posture screaming ‘this is my space’. The man in front of him is older, wearing all black just like Levi does everyday. Scrappy brown hair, thin. I can hear a faint southern accent when he speaks, the words low and angry.

I’m not close enough to hear the words they’re exchanging, but the atmosphere is charged. I go to back away, and freeze when the floorboard underneath me squeaks loudly.

2 heads whip in my direction, and I feel that familiar steel gaze lock onto me. The older man immediately yells out. “Who the fuck is this? Are you setting me up?”

Levi snorts softly, the sound drifting to my ears. “No, Kenny.”

The man, Kenny, starts to move toward me. He doesn’t get far when Levi’s hand hits the side of his neck. The blow immediately knocks him unconscious. My head screams at me to run, get away from here.

But my body remains frozen, even as he stalks toward me with predatory intent. He stops just by the bar, not invading my space.

“How much did you hear?”

I blink, processing his question before replying. “Nothing, actually. I was just leaving and heard voices.”

His eyes are hard on mine, searching my expression for a lie. I don’t back down. “If I had heard something, would it matter?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I didn’t, so, I’m going home.”

His head tilts ever so slightly, and when he speaks again, his voice drifts over me like a blade being ran across my skin. Too soft, but a clear implication behind them.

“Go home, little Lotus. Wouldn’t want you to see something you don’t have to.”

The words unstick my feet from the floor, and I’m moving. Once I’m outside and safe in my car, it’s only then that I process that this is twice in one day that Levi has shown me he is capable of violence. So why are my panties wet?
—
Arriving home, I’m still processing the scene I witnessed, when my phone rings. It startles me, so I answer it automatically.

“Lotus.”

“Hey, Lo. Where you been at?”

Wonderful. Jackson, my shitty fuck buddy.

“Why are you calling me, Jackson?”

He chuckles down the phone. “I can’t just check in on my favorite girl?”

“I’m not your favorite, and I’d prefer you didn’t check on me.”

“Come on, beautiful, don’t be so cold. What are you doing right now?”

I contemplate lying, but in all actuality, maybe a good fuck is what I need. I sigh, knowing I’m weak for considering it.

“I’m home. If you wanna stop by, you can. Bring whiskey.”

“Alright, let me see what I can do. I’ll call you when I head out.”

I agree and hang up. I tip my head back, sighing to the ceiling. I’m gonna regret this in the morning, but after the day I’ve had, I just want to unwind the best way I know how.

My phone screen lights up.

A new text. Unknown number. Only a couple words.

UNKNOWN: Cancel or he loses his tongue.

My heartbeat picks up instantly, and I stare down at the screen. My fingers hesitate over the keyboard, but I force them to move, typing a response.

ME: Who is this? You have the wrong number.

UNKNOWN: Cancel, Lotus.

ME: Is this some kind of joke?

UNKNOWN: Would you like to find out?

The last message stops me from replying again. I stare harder at the screen for just a moment before the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up.

The feeling isn’t unusual for me, but after receiving a message like that, it sets me into motion.

I grab my pistol and sweep my house. Even after checking the last room, I can’t stop feeling like I’m being watched.

Then I shake my head. I’m being paranoid. I smirk to myself, deciding to ignore the text. It wouldn’t be the first time someone has gotten a hold of my phone number and tried to scare me, and I’m not going to let it scare me now.

So, I wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Jackson doesn’t show, and I end up falling asleep on my couch.

There’s one headline that stands out in the news the next morning.

“LOCAL MAN ASSAULTED; TONGUE CUT OUT IN SHOCKING ACT OF VIOLENCE.”
------
“Hange, I swear to God. I don’t think it’s the same guy!”

“Flower, baby, this isn’t the first time. That guy had multiple numbers, remember?”

The guy in question was a crazed fan who had stalked me for months, turning my life into my own personal nightmare.

He had been caught after several attempts to threaten me and my loved ones via text, email, and any other form of communication he could find. He also had tried to break into my house and was caught in the process.

But as far as I knew, he was still in prison.

I slide my phone across the desk, texts open to my thread with my detective friend Mark. “Even Mark says it’s an untraceable number. Like a ghost.”

Hange reads over the messages before handing back the phone. “Has Mark confirmed if old boy is still in prison? Cuz that’s your answer right there.”
I shake my head, and they give me the look they do when they think I’m overreacting. There’s motion behind me, and my head whips around as Hange speaks.

“Oh, Levi! Lotus and I were just discussing something a little sensitive, but maybe you can help us. You still have access to that database from the military, right? The one that can find anything on anyone?”

His face is impassive, like he’s already bored of the conversation. “Yeah. For what?”

Hange gestures to me to explain, so I open the text thread of the unknown number. “I got weird messages from an unknown number, and I just wanted to see if someone could trace it. I have a friend who’s a detective, but even he can’t find it.”

He takes the phone out of my hand, reading them quickly. “Do you have any dedicated stalkers or anything like that? A fan who got out of hand?”

I explain about my crazed fan, and his tongue clicks against his teeth when I mention he might still be in prison.

“So, you think it could be someone who may or may not be in prison?”

I shrug. “Like I said, I’m not sure.”

The conversation is disrupted by my phone going off in his hand, and he hands it back. It’s Mark.

“Hey, Mark. Did you confirm if that guy was still in prison?”

His voice crackles through the line. “Yes, I did. The warden at the prison says he’s not due for parole until 6 months from now. Do you want me to keep looking for this number or file it down?”

I sigh heavily. “Just file it for now. I’ll call you if anything else happens.”

“Alright. Be safe, Lo.”

I hang up, placing my phone on Hange’s desk. I look up, and they seem to be having a staring contest with Levi. I rise from the chair. “I’ll figure something out, don’t worry-“
Levi’s voice trails in softly. “Let me see your phone. I’ll check to see if I can find the location it pinged off at least.”

I turn my eyes to his, and something in them tells me this isn’t an argument. I reluctantly hand him my phone, and he disappears out of the office with it. I leave Hange’s office, heading back to the bar area to check on my bartenders.

I slide onto a barstool, and Connie immediately jumps onto the counter, a wide smile on his face. “Lotus! What brings you to my beautiful bar top?”

I smile back softly. “A shot of Jim Beam, actually. Can I have a tall shooter?”

His eyebrows rise, but he just smiles, jumping down from the counter. “Coming right up!”

He pours up the shot, sliding it across the counter to me. I down it, my head tipping back to let the liquor pour straight down my throat. Sasha wanders over, sliding her arms across the counter.
“Ughhhhh, Nic won’t feed me! I’ve only been starving for a whole 45 minutes! Can you ask him for food for me, Lotus?” She pouts, and I chuckle at the expression. I reach out and pat her hand. “You guys only have 2 hours left on shift, Sash. I think you’ll be alright.”

She sighs again, dragging herself away, and I hop off the barstool, wandering back to my office. Once inside, I pour myself into paperwork, completely forgetting Levi has my phone.

When he finally enters my office, I’m reviewing timecards, my fingers flying over the keyboard as I input hours. He sets the phone down, standing next to my desk.

I pull away from the keyboard, turning to face him. “Did you find anything?”

He shakes his head, fingers tapping against the fake wood grain of my desk. “It seems whoever did this, didn’t want to be found. It could’ve come from anywhere, and I found the trail bouncing off cell towers in different countries, but I can’t find where it starts.”

I arch a brow. “You have a system that can do all that? If you’re retired, why would you still have access?”

He grunts softly, turning and sitting down in the chair across from me. “I still do freelance work for them, but I no longer report directly to anyone anymore. Not that it’s important here.”

I pause, falling quiet for a moment. “Listen, about last night-“ He cuts me off yet again.

“Don’t talk about what you saw. You never saw him here, understand?” The tone in his voice is too sharp, razors against my skull.

I turn my eyes to his, my pupils a bit wide. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Good girl.”

I blink, the random praise washing over me. “Well, I’m just gonna wrap this up here and head out. I won’t be staying behind tonight.”

He nods in response, but makes no move to leave. I continue working on the timecards, until his voice pierces the silence again.

“Did you see that headline this morning in the news?” The words are soft, a strange uncurrent running with them.

I flinch, my back going ramrod straight. Jackson.

I don’t look at him as I speak. “I knew the guy. He didn’t deserve to be hurt like that.”

“I wonder what he did to deserve it.”

The words are somewhat mocking, like he knows something I don’t. He doesn’t give me time to question it, and gets up to leave, the door snicking shut behind him.

I take a deep breath, but it doesn’t help the panicked feeling sitting low in my gut. My hands are shaking while I root around in my purse, finding what I’m looking for. I swallow the yellow pill dry, before leaving.
------
Jackson’s hospital room is quiet, the steady beep of monitors telling me he’s alive. His face is covered in bruises and various cuts, and his arm is in a sling. The doctor explained that his jaw was wired shut.

His tongue was not found at the scene.

I’m still shaking as I stare at him, but the reaction is dulled by the pill I took less than an hour ago. The doctor reenters, a soft smile on his face as he hands me a coffee.

“He’s very strong. He’ll live, but he won’t be able to speak again.”

I sip the coffee, the taste too bitter in my mouth. “It’s awful. I can’t believe someone would do this him.”

The doctor sighs, like he’s heard that too many times. “It really is tragic, but at least he is still alive. This is good news.”

I nod, and he’s gone. When the door reopens, it reveals the haggard face of Mark, looking too tired to be here. He settles into the chair next to mine, tapping his cup against mine in a mock toast.

“So, he was supposed to be at your house last night? Did he ever show, or did he just disappear?”

I recount our phone call, and tell him that Jackson never called me back last night. He seems perplexed, his voice murmuring softly. “I wonder if this is another stalking case, but worse. Sounds awfully personal.”

I laugh, the sound too loud for the room. “I don’t think so. I haven’t been in the headlines as much since my injury. I had someone from my job try to track the number cuz he worked with the military. He says it’s bouncing off towers from other countries.”

Mark raises an eyebrow. “The hell? How does he have access to information like that?”

I shrug. “I didn’t really ask too many questions. Guy’s not exactly warm and welcoming.”

Mark settles back into the chair, sipping his coffee. “God, this coffee is shit. I should’ve stopped by Starbucks.”
I hum in response. We continue to chatter softly for a few moments, catching up about my new job and his wife’s pregnancy, before he finally decides to call it a night. I stay for a few more minutes, before quietly slipping out.

Once I’m outside, a breeze blows through the parking lot, and I pull my thin sweater tighter around me. Guess it’s time to start pulling out my winter jackets.

I keep my eyes peeled during my walk to my car, and that same feeling of being watched settles over me. I pick up my pace, and it isn’t long before I’m back in the safety of my own car, the warm air blowing on me. As I pull out to head home, something catches my eye.

A blacked out Mercedes, running with the lights off.

Chapter Text

Two weeks.

That’s how long it had been since Jackson’s attack, and I had neatly settled back into life.

The little yellow pills becoming a nightly thing? That was for me to know, and hopefully for no one else to find out.

I was sat around a table in the now empty bar with the staff only missing Levi, who was on a trip out of town according to Hange. It was a welcome change, and the staff seemed to be at ease without his menacing presence around.

Eren and Mikasa were currently betting on who could win in arm wrestling, with Jean looking on in concern that was for Eren. Connie was sitting with Bert, the two talking animatedly about some show they were watching as a group, and Sasha and Nic were in the corner, messing with the newly installed jukebox.

I watch in comfortable silence. We had drained nearly two whole bottles of liquor, with Connie deciding to make his signature drinks in response to Sasha saying he couldn’t mix worth shit.

“Alright, Lotus. You want anything from the kitchen before we close it?” Nic’s voice rings out across the bar as he and Sasha head in the direction of the doors. I smile. “Maybe just some cheese fries or something, I’m not super hungry.”

Hange nudges me. “You need more than some fuckin fries, Flower.”

I chuckle, sipping the drink in front of me. Too sweet. I purse my lips as I set it down. “Damn, Connie really can’t mix for shit.”

That makes them laugh, and soon a heaping plate of cheese fries is sat in front of me. I eat slowly, knowing I would regret it if I ate too fast. Once everyone was settled again, Eren calls everyone’s attention.

“Alright guys, so. Our huge yearly event is coming up, and I had an idea. Well, it was Miki, but whatever.” I arch a brow, a smile on my face.

“What’s the idea?”

He smirks. “What if, and hear me out, we have like, a boxing ring right? And people can pay to get into the ring and beat each other up?”

My eyes blow wide. “Eren Yeager, are you joking? An illegal fighting ring in the bar? Are you crazy?”

Hange laughs, a smirk forming on their face. “I don’t know, It could be something like, we give ‘em gloves, they get five minutes, and the winner gets a free drink or something. Might encourage a younger crowd.”

My eyes snap over to them. “Do you even hear yourself? Drunk people fighting? Someone could get seriously hurt!”

Mikasa’s light voice pipes up. “Yeah, but it would be fun, and we can put rules in place to prevent a full-blown brawl from breaking out.”

Connie’s excited self was next to chime in. “Me personally, I wanna take on Jean. His ass can’t fight for shit!”

“That would require you to have a braincell, baldie.” Jean jumps up, rubbing his knuckles roughly against Connie’s head while the pink-haired boy tries to break free.

I sigh, looking over at Hange. I lower my voice ever so slightly.

“Hange, I can’t condone that. If anyone sees me participating in something like that, itll be bad publicity all over again.”

Hange leans closer. “You won’t have to show your face if I can help it. Plus, Levi will be here in case something crazy happens. He’s fine with it.”

My brows shoot up.

“Fine with it? Are you joking?”

They shake their head. “I thought it would take more convincing, but apparently, he wants to see people embarrass themselves. You’re our only holdout.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, thinking over the consequences of being a part of such an event. On one hand, this would be great for the bar. On the other, bad for my image. By the time I look up, everyone can already tell what my answer is.

“Fuck yeah! Boxing ring!”

Their excitement couldn’t undo the sinking feeling in my gut.
------
My house feels… off.

I sit on my living room couch, a song softly playing through the sound system I had installed. The bottle of Jim Beam I had in my hand did nothing to ease the strange feeling in my stomach. When my phone vibrates, I hesitate to grab it.

UNKNOWN: Did you like my gift?

I sit up, setting the bottle down on the coffee table.

ME: Who is this?

UNKNOWN: I left it at your door.

I set the phone down, heart racing in my chest. I stand and pad to the door, checking the peephole that overlooks my yard.

Empty.

I carefully undo my locks, before poking my head out. When I look down, sure enough, there is a box sitting on the porch. My hands shake as I reach for it. It’s light, no indication of the contents.

I bolt back into my house, locking the door.

I put the package down on the counter, chest heaving slightly.

The box looks plain enough, the cardboard slightly beat up and discolored with a dark substance. I stare at it, almost too scared to open it.

I go back to the living room, picking up my phone and dialing Mark. He answers on the third ring.

“Lo? It’s late, is everything okay?”

“How fast can you get to my house?”

“Gimme 10 minutes.”

I hear the line disconnect, and I stare through the doorway, to that simple box sitting on my counter. My phone vibrates in my hand again.

UNKNOWN: You really wanna keep me waiting for an answer?

The words send my head into a fog, and I reenter my kitchen.

The box beckons me.

Carefully, I undo the tape, pulling it off slowly.

Lift the flaps on the box.

I look down.

My chest begins to heave, huge gulps of air. My lungs bursting, trying to take in oxygen way too fast.

I sit down on the floor, my whole body trembling, as I hit the call button for Mark again.

“Lo! What happened?”

“It’s his tongue.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

My voice comes out hoarse, too loud. “There was a fucking box… and I opened it…. Fucking Jesus, it’s his tongue….”

I hear Mark’s tires screech into my driveway, before his fist hit the door. I get up slowly, opening it, and stare at him teary-eyed as I point to the box.

He goes over, pushing back the flap with an already gloved hand, and winces. “What the fuck. Where did this come from?”

I hold out my phone. He opens the thread again, a crease forming between his brows.

“Lo, listen to me. I’m going to get you some clothes and we’re gonna go down to the police station together. Okay?”

I nod, my fingertips tingling.

He runs to my room, and I hear my phone vibrate again. I look down at the screen.

UNKNOWN: You called the cops? Naughty girl.

Once Mark returns, he helps me up, dressing me like one would a child. He grabs my phone and the box, and soon enough we are in his car, speeding towards the station.

“Fuck, I didn’t lock the door. I need to call Hange. They have a spare.”

He hands me his cell. “Use mine for now.”

I take it, dialing Hange. They answer quickly, like they were waiting for a call. “Hange here!”

“Hange,” I say carefully, my voice too high. “It’s Lotus. Can you go to my house and lock the door? I’m on my way to the police station.”

I hear them moving around, and they murmur low to someone. Then, their voice comes though the line. “Of course I can. Do you want me to come down to the station?”

I breathe shakily. “Please. I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

We arrive at the police station in record time, and Mark leads me to his office, handing me a cup of coffee. “I’ll be back. Once Hange is here, I’ll bring them to you. Just sit tight.”

I nod, and he shuts the door, leaving me in silence. I tap my fingers anxiously against my thigh, the lukewarm coffee doing nothing to warm me. Several minutes tick by, and my brain starts to catch up to what I just saw.

Jackson’s tongue, in a box. A box left on my doorstep.

My fingers feel dirty, like I stuck my hand in a jar of jelly and poorly wiped it off. I scratch at the back of it, trying to rid myself of the feeling. The door clicks open, and Hange bursts in, throwing themselves into my arms.

“Oh, Flower. I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

My breathing hitches, and the tears I’ve been holding back finally break through my self-imposed dam. I cling to them, my shoulders shaking as they stroke my hair. I can hear them speaking and lift my head to hear them.

“Levi came with me, I hope you don’t mind. He just got back from his trip, and he was concerned.”

I look up, and his eyes are already on me, glinting with an unplaceable light. “Lotus.”

I tilt my chin to him. “You didn’t have to come.”

He grunts softly. “Hange would never let me live it down, and besides, I was already with them. Tell us what happened.”

I softly explain the situation, the texts, the box. Hange looks horrified, but Levi is a stone wall. Once I finish, his voice comes out, low and lethal.

“I can stay with you overnight if you feel unsafe. I know you probably don’t want to stay at Hange’s. They snore.”

I nod before I can register what he said, and he murmurs something to Hange that I can’t hear before stepping out to speak with Mark. They return with another detective in tow. He introduces himself as Angelo, and he explains that he works with cases like this. “Either you have a very deranged stalker, or you’re being targeted. I would suggest improving the security in your home and upgrading your deadbolt. Do you have anywhere you can stay tonight?”

Levi’s voice rings out. “I’ll be staying with her tonight. I can protect her if anything happens. I’ll also escort her to work.”

The detective nods and slides me some paperwork to fill out. “Fill this out, and once you finish, I’ll need to download those messages to add them to your file. Once that’s done, you can have your phone back. But I would recommend changing your number. Sick freaks like this get off on shit like that.”

Mark hands him the phone. “You can get started on the download, and I’ll help her with the paperwork.”

Angelo leaves, and I fill out the papers. By the time I finish, it’s very late, and my eyes are heavy. I lean against Hange as we exit the station, and they lead me to the car. We slide into the car, and the ride back is blissfully silent. Once we reach my house, I pull my keys out, exiting and leaning down to Hange’s window.

“Thank you for coming. I couldn’t have done it by myself.”

They smile, their hand brushing back a stray hair. “Call me in the morning. And if Levi acts bratty, let me know.”

He snorts behind me, before I say goodnight to Hange and lead him into my house. Once inside, I take a deep breath. He’s too close when he finally speaks.

“Do you have a security system installed?”

“Just the one for the doors and windows, I never thought I’d need cameras or anything like that.”

He hums and begins moving through the house. I trail behind him, my eyes slightly unfocused. “There’s a gun safe in here. The only gun I keep on me is on the coffee table.”

He doesn’t answer, just walks into that room, eyes searching for the gun. When he finds it on the table, he nods. “Kimber is a good brand.”

I hum in response, my modest home suddenly feeling too small with him in it. I walk towards my bedroom, eager to be away from prying eyes. I go into my en suite bathroom, stripping out of my clothes and getting into the shower. After around ten minutes of viciously scrubbing my skin, I emerge.

I go back into the room, picking out a pair of pajamas and slipping into them. The silk drapes over my skin, cooling my overheated and overscrubbed skin. I head back out, and drift towards the kitchen.
The smell of cleaning products is strong, but I don’t mind it. I look to Levi, whose back is turned to me. I can smell coffee going, but I don’t say anything, just observe him.

His back is clearly defined, even through his shirt. I can see the faint outline of the tattoos on his upper arms just below his sleeve. His breathing is steady in the quiet, and he shifts slightly under my gaze.

“It’s considered impolite to stare you know.”

I flick my eyes up, and he’s turned ever so slightly, watching me out of the corner of his eye. I feel a slow blush crawl up my cheeks. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I get lots of looks.”

I shuffle over to a barstool, pushing myself into the seat.

“You cleaned?”

He nods. “I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, so I figured I would straighten up a bit. Do you want some of this coffee, or you’re going to bed?”

I hum, shaking my head. “No, I’m gonna go to sleep. Just came back out to say goodnight, and that you’re welcome to use my guest room. Nobody ever visits, but maybe you can get some use out of it.”

He turns back to the coffee pot. “I’ll be up. I’ve got some spare cameras in my bag, I’m gonna get them set up for you. Do you have a computer I can link them to?”

I get down from the stool and go into my living room, returning with my laptop in hand. “Here. I don’t have a passcode on it.”

He doesn’t respond, his eyes roaming over my frame. There’s a strange gleam in his eye. I begin to feel an awkward blush creep up my cheeks, so I mumble a goodnight and head to my bedroom. I can still hear him moving around, but I climb into my bed, the soft pillows welcoming me back. I snuggle deep into my covers, listening to the sounds of him moving around, and fall asleep feeling safer than I care to admit.
------
I’m not sure what wakes me up in the middle of the night, but I shoot straight up, heart pounding. I fumble in the dark for my phone, checking the time. It’s early, too early for me to be awake. I stay quiet, willing my heart to slow. I carefully rise from the bed, padding to the door, which is cracked slightly. I peer out, not hearing much.

Levi is doing crunches on the floor, swiftly and silently, the movement nearly punishing. From where I am, I can see more tattoos. I can’t make out any of them, except for the large flower across his back.

A lotus flower.
------
We don’t speak much the next morning, and I drive him back to Hange’s when he’s ready. Hange gives me the day off, promising to email me my work. When I arrive home, the house is too quiet.

I turn on my sound system, sitting down at the coffee table. On it rests my laptop, plugged in with a sticky note on top. It’s in Levi’s handwriting.

‘Password and username. I’ll upgrade your storage when I can.’

I login to the camera app he downloaded and am greeted with multiple views of inside and outside my house.

“I thought he said a few?....”

I pan through the different angles before pulling all of them up in a wide screen. I then play around with the features, before finding a replay button. I search for the time I saw him doing crunches, pulling up the footage.

Sure enough, there he is. The movements quick and precise.

I watch in stunned silence. The tattoo appears on screen again, and I have confirmation now that what I saw wasn’t a trick of the light.

I shut the computer, feeling like a voyeur.

I flick my eyes back to the computer, heat pooling low in my gut.

I’m definitely sick in the head.
------
LEVI’S POV
He isn’t sure how it started. Maybe it was the blood in her teeth, or the way she fought like she was starving, hungry for something that didn’t have a name.

But he could recognize that hunger, could feel the teeth of it on his neck.

He watches the video pulled up on his screen, his breathing too heavy in the quiet of his home office. His beautiful Lotus flower, sitting there so innocently, watching him work out on a screen.

He still could still remember the first time he saw her, when Hange had pulled up her fight on the screen at the bar. Could still remember the cheers in the first few rounds, the excitement in the air.

He could perfectly recall the moment her bones snapped, and the silence that followed after it. He knew that the move was illegal; knew it was the end of her career. Hange’s worried expression made a lightbulb go off in his head.

“Didn’t you say you knew her?”

“Yeah, we’ve been friends since we were kids.”

“Well, looks like her career just ended. You should call her.”

And Hange had called. Over the course of the next few weeks, Levi had asked Hange about her multiple times, but only in passing, never giving away the true intention behind it. That first night at the bar, when Erwin told him a new manager had just been hired, he had to fight to keep the smirk off his face.

And now here he is, smoothly inserting himself into her life.

She never needed to know what he had done to get here. She would be his, regardless.

He pushes his jeans lower, hand wrapped firmly around his cock as he stares at her, her tank top strap slipping off her shoulder slightly. He can imagine biting down on her smooth, pretty skin, marring it with his teeth.

He wants her damaged.

His hand moves, cock twitching while a groan falls from his lips. He’s so impossibly hard for her.

A bead of precum leaks from the tip, and he smears it over himself, his strokes picking up in pace while his eyes remain on the screen.

The sound of his groans fills the space, his breathing rushed and choppy. He watches her tank top strap fall further down her arm, and bites down so hard on his lip he feels the skin split. He can imagine her beneath him, her legs on his shoulders while she takes his cock like it was made for her.

The image makes him cum so hard his eyes roll back into his head.

When he finishes, a low hiss rolls past his still bleeding split lip. His cum still decorating his stomach and his heart beating out of his chest, he flicks his eyes back up to the screen.

“You’re mine.”
------
I spend the majority of that day watching the cameras.

There are breaks in the recordings, but I don’t see anything unusual at all. The next day is spent doing my normal training workout routine, my fear of losing muscle the only thing keeping me from quitting training all together. My phone rings around 3 in the afternoon, Hange’s name flashing on the screen. I answer it.

“Hey, Hange.”

“Lo, hunny, how are you feeling? I don’t wanna rush you back into the office, but we need you here.”

I sigh lightly, my nerves still raw. “Yeah, I can be there. When do you want me to come in?”

“Maybe, an hour? I’ve got some stuff I wanted to go over in regards to the boxing event thing.”

I nod to myself. “I’ll come as soon as I can. I just need to grab my stuff and maybe some food.”

“Don’t bother with that, Erwin is here. He can make you something.”

“Okay.”

We disconnect, and I head to my room to get dressed. Once I finish, I swipe my keys and phone off the bed, and then my laptop from the living room. I can already feel the need to watch the cameras again.

Sliding my gun into the holster tucked into my loose pants, I exit the house, double checking the locks, and leave. I’m at the bar in less than 30 minutes. Hange greets me at the back door with Erwin, who wraps me in a tight hug. I pull back from him, looking up. “Hey, Erwin.”

He smiles down at me serenely, releasing me before backing off. “How is everything? I heard you had quite the shock the other night. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”

I shake my head, a small smile on my face. “No, I’m fine really. I was just shocked by it. Levi was super kind that night too, setting up those cameras for me.”

They exchange a sideways glance, Erwin’s brows pulling together. “What cameras?”

I look between them. “He didn’t tell you? He put up some cameras for me, so I could watch the house.” I fiddle with my laptop case, holding it up. “I actually need to connect this to the WiFi, so I need the passcode.”

Hange nods at me, a strange look on their face. “Yeah, of course. Let’s head to my office.”

We chat for a while about the event, planning out new drinks and making a Pinterest board of ideas. The time passes by quickly, and before I know it, the staff has arrived. Eren walks over, slinging an arm over my shoulder.

“Look whose back! We were worried about you. Hange said you were out because of an incident?”

I hum quietly, stepping from underneath his arm gently and glaring at Hange. “Yes, but let’s not talk about it, okay? You guys don’t have to worry.”

The other staff all murmur welcome back and other platitudes, but it doesn’t reach me. Once I get them all clocked in, I head into my office, placing my laptop on my desk.

I open it, pulling up the camera feed. I check again, but still nothing of interest. I sigh and pull up my internet browser. An idea pops into my head.

NEW SEARCH: LEVI ACKERMAN MILITARY

NO RESULTS FOUND.

NEW SEARCH: LEVI ACKERMAN

1 RESULT FOUND

I open the article, an obituary.

“The deaths of two children, Isabel Magnolia and Furlan Church, shocked the community of Paradis this evening. The two were gunned down in a cruel act of violence, leaving behind one survivor, identified as Levi Ackerman.”

I gasped loudly. A double murder?

I quickly close the page, my heart racing. But curiosity has always killed the cat.

I Google both names.

Levi was implicated as a suspect in both murders.

Multiple articles describe how prosecutors chased the lead of him being the main suspect for weeks, but ultimately couldn’t pin the blame on him.

I scroll through them quickly, absorbing information from each one.

Violent. Dangerous. A menace to society. Behavioral issues.

And the worst of all, an old therapist who said “That kid is bound to hurt someone someday.”

I hear my door handle being pulled and quickly shut down my browser completely and let out a quiet sigh when I see Sasha, who smiles politely. “Hey, I just needed to come ask for a day off. Hange told me to ask you since your doing schedules.”

I nod quickly, and refocus on my job, pushing the articles out of my head.

Chapter Text

Nearly a week has passed since I found out about Levi’s past, and I couldn’t come to terms with my own feelings about it. I felt slightly afraid.

But the fucked up part of me, the one I couldn’t seem to silence, wanted to find out how dangerous he could be.

I avoided him for days, my eyes catching his several times. He looked off, sporting a split lip when he returned to sit in his normal smoky corner. I found out that week that he also was a smoker, as I had caught him multiple times with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

I felt possessed, like I couldn’t look away if I tried.

The texts from my stalker continued. Increasing in intensity with each one.

UNKNOWN: You still haven’t said if you liked my gift.

UNKNOWN: Do you enjoy being hurt, flower?

UNKNOWN: I bet you won’t try to fuck anyone else now.

I had started to leave earlier, wanting to be locked in the house where I could feel safe. I wasn’t sure if this sick fuck had ever come back by my house, but from the footage on my cameras, he hadn’t.

But I knew it was only a matter of time before the tension escalated again. I just didn’t know how soon it would be.

I sat in my usual spot on my couch, clad in my usual shorts and tank top. My gun is dismantled on my coffee table, and I clean the chamber. It had been pouring rain all evening. I scrub at a particularly stuck on patch, when I hear it.

So soft, I could have confused it for something I was doing.

A click.

The air drops a fraction of a degree.

I pause my movement, ears straining to hear the noise.

Silence engulfs me.

I stand from the couch, walking normally to the room where my gun safe is located. I silently input the code, grateful that this model of safe came with the option to silence it, and retrieve my secondary favorite weapon, a revolver. A Ruger GP100, efficient and clean.

I walk back through the house, checking rooms as I do so, making it look normal as I can.

No random figure in the corners. No billowing curtains. No bodies in the closets.

But I did hear something.

Another soft click.

I run back to the living room. Looking around, I don’t see anything out of place. I slow down, observing carefully.

There, on my bookcase.

A Polaroid.

I walk over, picking it up between my thumb and forefinger. It’s a simple snapshot of myself, sitting on my couch, my gun dismantled on the table.

The photo is still warm. It has just been taken.

Someone had been in my house.

I storm over the coffee table, opening my laptop and booting up the cameras. I roll back the footage, slowly observing it.

There, at the back door. All black clothing. Tennis sneakers. Hoodie to cover the hair.

The figure walks through back door, the original click I heard, and they disappear from my line of sight. I watch myself walk and grab my other gun, and they quickly move into frame, setting up the Polaroid before disappearing just to the side of the couch, out of my sight again. I see myself walking past, into my bedroom. I look at the frame of the back door, and the figure glances up at the camera for a moment.

A full face kitsune mask obscures their face from view. They pretend to blow a kiss; their hands covered with black gloves.

I straighten up, the Polaroid still clenched in my fingers, and feel a new emotion coursing through me.

Wrath. Unmistakable, the taste of metal and pure fucking rage coursing through me.

The shift is immediate, fear replaced by a need to cause harm.

I crumple up the Polaroid, sitting back on the couch. I reassemble my pistol, precise and slow, and when I slide the magazine into place, a slow smirk spreads over my face.

If this motherfucker wants to play, I’m gonna bring the fun to him.
------
When I enter the bar the next day, the only items on my person are my keys, phone, and my gun. Open carry. Hange notices but doesn’t comment. I storm to my office, settling in and getting started on my work. A small slice of normalcy in what is beginning to feel like a hunt.

The evening passes without incident, and when I leave that night, I don’t go home.

I go to the gym.

When I enter, the old man at front desk looks up.

“Mason.”

“Lo.”

“I know I said I wouldn’t be back.”

He snorts. “I never believed you anyway.”

I nod, and he waves his hand towards the double doors. “It’s empty. Let me know if you need anything. But keep an eye out, Mitch is back there and he’s not in a good mood tonight.”
Mason and Mitch Lynch, my original trainers. Their gym had been a haven for me as a teen, all angry and pent up. They taught me the ins and outs of professional boxing, as well as MMA and Muay Thai. As
I walk in, the familiar scent of Mason’s favorite lemon scented cleaning spray fills my nostrils.

I throw down the gym bag I carried in, and set into my stretch routine, switching between normal stretches and yoga so that I can get as limber as possible. Once that’s finished, I start off soft. I wrap my hands before jumping in with quick taps to the bags that barely move it. I move into common hits, jabbing, crosses.

Elbow strikes. Knee strikes.

I move back into stance, practicing combos.

Jab, cross, teep. Jab, rear roundhouse. Feint jab, side kick.

By the time I’ve gone through a handful of rotations, my shoulder is aching, my collarbone feeling like its vibrating with each hit. I push past it, my hands flying.

Repeatedly, until I’m pouring sweat, my hair sticking to my skin. I drop to the floor, rotating my shoulder until the slight stinging pain recedes. I wipe my face with my towel, catching my breath. Finally, I lift myself up. I practice more kicks, running through a full list of them before I’ve had enough. I’m drinking water when I hear Mitch’s familiar baritone behind me.

“Been a while, Lo.”

I turn, my smile small. “Six years, on last count.”

He grunts, like it’s answer to my previous statement. I begin moving to pack up my stuff.

“Why’d you come back?”

I pause slightly, straightening again. “Because I forgot my real reasons for doing this. Because I needed a reminder to never let my guard down again. There’s a million, really.”

“I heard that little shit got his tongue cut out because of you.”

My jaw clenches. “That wasn’t because of me. He was innocent in that.”

He stalks around me, until he’s facing me again. His familiar hazel eyes are hard on mine. “So what exactly is going on?”

“I’m being stalked. Someone was in my house last night.”

His eyes narrow, his expression dark. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

I sling my gym bag over my shoulder, already striding out.

“I’m gonna show them why they called me ‘Death Flower’ in the ring.”

I push out the doors, and tilt my chin to Mason, slipping back outside. My gun is held tight in my hand as I storm towards my car. I throw my gym bag in the back, starting the car and peeling off back to my house.

My house is dark when I arrive, and I enter, leaving the lights off. I open my laptop, pulling up my cameras, and I wait.

All my curtains are closed, the room lit only by my screen’s backlight.

My phone lights up.

UNKNOWN: Closing the curtains can’t stop me from seeing you.

ME: Good.

UNKNOWN: You looked so pretty in that photo. I’m sad you threw it out.

ME: Cry about it, then.

UNKNOWN: Mouthy. You gonna call your cop friend back over? My blade is itching to cut into something.

I shift in my seat, as if an imaginary blade is running down my spine. It only settles my resolve.

ME: You wanna play a fucking game, so let’s play.

UNKNOWN: Aren’t you cute? Do you fuck like you speak?

ME: You wish you knew you sick fuck.

UNKNOWN: *ATTACHMENT: 1 IMAGE*

It’s a photo of the back yard, my laptop screen’s brightness visible through the curtain. I don’t flinch, as I turn my head to look.

A figure is standing on my back porch, obscured by the curtain. I can see the cherry of a cigarette between two fingers.

I type back immediately.

ME: I hope those things give you cancer.

UNKNOWN: How long do you think it will be until your Percocet and alcohol addictions kill you?

I tense, my breath catching. How the fuck does he know that?

I stop responding, waiting to see if he will try to enter again, my head turned straight to him. But he doesn’t. He just smokes the cigarette, before snuffing out the butt and pocketing it. I see his figure disappear, and I rush to the front door, watching from the peephole.

He walks down my driveway, to the street.

And slides into an all too familiar blacked out Mercedes.
------
Once he pulls off, I immediately pick up my phone, and call Hange, who comes to stay over. I tell them everything, and they look at me in shock. “So, you’re telling me you had a staring contest with them? Do you still have the footage?”

I rewind it on my computer, showing them the footage from this evening. They watch in horror, asking to see the messages as well, and finally I roll it back to the previous night.

When we arrive at the portion where the masked stranger blows the kiss, Hange’s face drains of color.

Their head whips to me, but my eyes are glued to the screen. I pause the footage, staring hard. I hit the print button, printing the photo. I finally notice Hange’s face, and tilt my head.

“Hange? What’s wrong?”

They blink slightly, before shaking their head. “Can I have that? I need to go check something really quick at home.”

I hand them the photo, and they take off. I’m a bit confused, but by the time they’ve returned, they seem less on edge.

“What was that about?”

They tap the mask. “I have a mask just like this hanging in my house.”

I blink in suspicion. “So what? You thought it was someone we know?”

They sigh, resting their head on their hand. “I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but Levi….” They shift. “A couple years ago, Levi got arrested for supposed stalking. They couldn’t prove it was him. He says that he never did that, but sometimes I would catch him looking her up or something similar.”

My jaw drops. “And you didn’t think to mention that before now?”

They hang their head slightly. “I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone. It ended up getting wiped from the public anyway because of his military shit. No one knows anything about him personally, really. Even Erwin and I don’t know much.”

I cock my head at them. “So you’re telling me you don’t really know the guy who co-owns your bar? Are you an idiot?”

They look at me seriously, expression tense. “He approached me a few years ago, when I had just started in entertainment. Said he wanted to open a bar, but needed a secondary signer for the loan. I agreed.”

I run a hand through my hair, pacing around. “What the fuck, Hange.”

Their phone goes off, and they answer it quickly. “Hange here.”

Whoever is on the other end is speaking quickly, the words clipped and short.

“Okay, I can be there in 20, but I’m with Lotus. Yeah, I’ll bring her. Okay.”

They hang up, turning to me. “I need you to come somewhere with me, but I need you to keep an open mind at what you see.”

I tense, glaring at them. “Why? Who was that?”

“You’ll see. Just put on some more clothes, get your pistol. I’ll wait in the car.”

I want to protest, but something in their eyes begs me not to reject them. So, I sigh, pinching my nose, before heading into my bedroom and changing. I’m in all black now, and I put on running shoes, not knowing what we’ll be doing. I strap my holster on and push my gun into place.
-------
The ride is mostly silent, and we arrive at what looks like an empty warehouse. Hange parks, and cuts the car off before turning to me. “Promise me, whatever you see, that you won’t judge me.”

I shift in the seat. “Are you about to put me in a situation I’m gonna regret?”

They shake their head, reaching across me and opening the glove compartment, retrieving a gun. My eyes widen. “Since when do you approve of guns?”

They stick it in their waist band, grabbing their keys. “Since I don’t know exactly what I’m walking into.”

I follow them into the building through a side door, and I can hear shouting from somewhere distant. They keep close to me, and we stop in front of a large steel door. They turn to me. “You have your gun?”

"Yes.”

“Good. Take it out.”

I pull my gun out of my holster, flicking the safety off. I follow them in, and they are immediately stopped by a large man, who pats them down before checking that the gun is loaded. They do the same to me, before waving us through. They instruct me to put my gun away again, and we walk deeper, down a dimly lit hallway.

We enter a large room, and I’m greeted by the sight of several men, and surrounded by women wearing less than a bikini, serving drinks. I let my eyes roam the room, not able to place any faces until I see him.

Levi is sat facing me, but his eyes are cut to the left, speaking with someone I don’t know. Hange strides towards him, and I catch up with them. When we arrive, his eyes flick to me momentarily before moving to Hange.

“Make it in okay?”

“Yeah, they did a gun check at the door this time though.”

His eyes land on me again, sweeping my outfit with a look of disdain. “Did you not tell her where you were going?”

I arch a brow, my voice slightly flat. “No, they didn’t. I was rather preoccupied with dealing with my stalker.”

He faces me, his mouth twitching. “What happened now?”

I pull out my phone and open my camera roll to the video of the masked man. He observes it, something in his eyes flashing with recognition. He hands me back the phone.

“What are you gonna do?”

“Well, considering he had enough balls to enter my house with me in it, I’d say prepare to fuck him up.”

His mouth twitches again, and he leans back in his seat. “I have no doubt you will excel in that.”

He gestures for me to sit next to him, and I slide into a chair, not looking at anyone in particular. Him and Hange begin to discuss something about ledgers and shipments, things that don’t register to my ears. I watch the video again, my fist clenching slightly.

Levi reaches over, sliding my phone out of my grasp and locking it. “Pay attention. Hange didn’t bring you for nothing.”

I snap my head up, annoyance already filtering in. “Give me my phone. Neither of you have said anything in particular to me, so I’m not even sure why I’m here.”

He reaches down, grabbing the edge of my chair, and yanks it closer. “You’ll find out in a minute, but for now you need to behave so I can explain.”

I glare at him, and he meets me there, his eyes boring into mine. But I don’t protest, breaking the contact and leaning back in the chair, crossing my arms. He refocuses on Hange.

Their conversation continues, and it falls on deaf ears. I begin to grow bored, when suddenly, Levi tenses next to me. He leans down near my ear, voice soft in my ear.

“Do not look him in the eyes, and play along.”

He leans away again, sliding an arm over the back of my chair, and my eyes sweep the room again.

They land on a slightly familiar head of scraggly brown hair. Kenny.

Chapter Text

I figure out his reason for requesting me when his arm wraps around me, heavy and too hot. I tense slightly under the contact but soften again when he leans close to my ear, whispering.

“Just play along, I’m not going to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. Just something to get him to leave you alone. He won’t speak to you if you’re with me.”

I let out a stilted breath, a strange heat sliding down my spine at his attention. He lets his fingers drift across the back of my neck, turning his head back to Kenny, who slides out a chair and sits down, sighing.

“Ah, nephew. You’ve been an idiot. But I suppose I can forgive it if you introduce this lovely woman next to you.”

He gestures to me, a cruel smile on his lips. I don’t speak, and Levi’s fingers twitch against my neck, a slight pressure against my skin. “You don’t need to know her. She’s here for me. Let’s get down to business.”

Kenny chuckles softly, bringing a finger to rest against his chin. His eyes wander over my face for a moment, before flicking back to Levi. “Our contact said you lost the shipment. What happened there?”

I watch in silence, that same heat filtering through my body every time Levi brushes against me. “Unexpected interference. It’s already been handled.”

Kenny’s posture turns ramrod straight, his face contorting in an expression of vexation. “And I’m supposed to trust your word on that? I need some fucking collateral on it!”

Levi slides forward slightly, his hand still never leaves me, and I shift in my seat at the sensation. “You don’t get it. It’s already handled. I’m not expending more effort for you.”

Kenny scoffs, his expression still full of whatever anger is possessing him. “You’re still a fucking dog, Levi. Your mother would roll in her grave if she knew how you treated me.”

Levi’s eyes narrow, and he spits the words out like their bitter. “Don’t fucking talk about her.”

Kenny rises from the chair, a sinister grin painting his face. “Get me what I fuckin’ want, and I’ll quiet down again. Until then.”

He strides away, and Levi scowls, the expression twisting his features. I reach up, sliding his hand off me. I need to get away from whatever he’s doing to me, and fast.

“Some fucking warning would have been nice.”

He grunts low in his throat, rising from his chair. “You and Hange head back to your house. Have Hange stay with you tonight, and if you get any strange calls, don’t answer.” He doesn’t give me a chance to answer as usual, walking away and disappearing through another door.

Hange circles the table and grabs my wrist, guiding me out while my skin recovers from the feeling of his hand on me. I’m lost in my thoughts while we leave, focused on why exactly he would ask for Hange to bring me. Is it possible that he wanted to see me? The idea is making my panties damp. I clear my head as we arrive at Hange’s car.

We head back to my house in relative silence, and once there I excuse myself to my room, my clothes becoming uncomfortably hot on my skin. I strip quickly, checking my door is closed. I fling myself onto my bed, chest heaving slightly.

I want Levi. Carnally.

My fingers dip below my panties, gathering up the wetness there and gently running a finger across my sensitive clit. A soft gasp escapes me, and I push father, two fingers running through myself. I buck my hips up, swirling my fingers in my heat. “Fuck…”

I pull my panties off, flinging them aside. I reach back down, pressing a finger inside myself, the action desperate. I can feel that I’m making a mess, but I don’t care. I circle my clit softly, pushing my finger in and out in a slow rhythm, pushing myself closer to the edge.

I can picture his smirk in my head, can feel those fingers drifting across my neck, and I moan softly. Loud, wet sounds fill the space, my desire only displayed through soft gasps and the rolling of my hips.
When I imagine his voice in my ear, I spasm around my own finger.

“Levi….”

I continue, a steady rhythm, circling my clit and gently sliding my finger in and out. My stomach clenches, and my eyes roll back as I flood around my finger, my breath escaping me in a satisfied hush.

Once I finish, I stay still for a moment, before sliding off the bed, my legs weak. I head into the bathroom, showering myself off before dressing in panties and a t shirt.

Just before I fall asleep, I have one thought.

Levi is mine, and I will stop at nothing to make it happen.
------
Over the course of the next week, I realize something.

Levi is watching me.

Not openly, but I can tell. When I talk to the bartenders or any of the staff, especially Erwin or Jean, his eyes always find my location. He always seems to come to my office for some inane question and seems to always know where I am in the building.

But he doesn’t speak to me outside of it. Doesn’t mention the uncomfortable tension, coiling around us like a noose.

Later that week, Hange invites me out for drinks, and I decide to join them, only because I haven’t gone out in so long. I haven’t had time to talk to them about our little outing to see Levi in that warehouse, and I need to know more.

About him. About what is going on.

I enter the crowded club, searching the crowd of faces until I find Hange, sitting at the bar. I slide into the seat next to them.

The reaction is immediate. “Flowerrrrrrrr!” They croon at me, a wide smile on their face.

“Looks like you got started without me.”

They smile, pushing me a tumbler I know already has my drink of choice in it.

“I tried to wait, really! But I had anxiety!”

I smirk at that, sipping the liquor slowly. “Anxiety about what?”

They tilt their head into their hand, sighing softly. “I thought maybe you would be angry with me for springing Levi on you. I didn’t realize he meant to use you to distract Kenny.”

I shake my head, smiling at them. “I was more confused than angry, honestly. You kind of sprung all that info on me with no prior information about the guy. You made him sound like some kind of criminal or something.”

They shift in their chair, swirling the glass in their hand before setting it down. “Yeah, about that.”

I arch a brow. I didn’t even have to press them.

“Levi and Kenny kind of work together. They were in the military together and started a sort of…. Side business when they got out.”

I wave my hand, brushing off the comment. “If I was uncomfortable with it, I would’ve said so. You know I don’t take that shit from just anyone.”

They nod quickly, downing what’s left in their glass before turning back to me. “Well, it’s like this. The less you know about what they do outside of the bar, the better. The two of them are fire and gasoline. I wouldn’t dig too far into Levi if I was you.”

I tense slightly but make no comment. They seem to pick up on my mood, and a slow smirk crawls across their face.

“Oh my god, Lotus. You wanna fuck him.”

I feel my neck flush scarlet. “Maybe I’ve thought about it.”

They push my shoulder lightly. “You whore! You wanna fuck your technical boss!”

I blush and down the rest of the liquor in my glass. “You’re an asshole.”

They continue teasing me for a while, until I feel a tap on my shoulder. When I turn, a brunette with a soft smile is there.

“Lotus, right? I’ve seen you fight. Can I buy you a drink?”

I flick my hair over my shoulder, a smirk on my lips. “Depends on whose asking.”

He holds out a hand, and I slide mine against his. “Vincent. Any preference?”

I smile. “Jim Beam.”

My phone goes off in my pocket, and I slide it out.

UNKNOWN: You can have drinks with him, but if you take him home, I’ll show you what I do to men that touch things that don’t belong to them.

I hum slightly, before sending back a message.

ME: Grow up. I don’t belong to you; you’re a sick fuck with a death wish. Try me.

UNKNOWN: The only one with a death wish is the idiotic man in front of you. That’s my only warning, Lotus.

I roll my eyes, pocketing the phone. Fuck him.
------
After exchanging some drinks and casual conversation, I make a stupid decision and invite Vincent back to my house.

We arrive back at my house, kissing furiously as we tumble through the door. I lead him to my couch, straddling him against the cushions. I’m grinding in his lap when he stiffens slightly beneath me. The hair on the back of my neck rises again.

My stalker is here.

Without preamble, I shoot up from the couch, spinning around. Sure enough, there he is, all black, kitsune mask in place.

We breathe in tandem for two seconds before he lunges at me.

I dodge it, side stepping right before bringing my elbow down on his back. His breath whooshes out of him in a silent gasp, but he recovers quickly, using my turned back to lever my arm behind me. I whirl again, freeing myself before moving back and letting my foot shoot out, catching his knee. He doesn’t make a sound this time, simply moving back from the blow before surging forward again.

He manages to grab my upper arm this time and hauls me forward into the wall. My head smacks the plaster, and my ears start ringing, but I don’t go down. I turn back, but he’s already there, bashing my head back again. This time is more effective, the pitch in my ears going up a notch. I kick out again but miss, my foot shooting past his leg. I’m disoriented, my vision doubling. He squats in front of me, that mask inches from my face. I go to hit him, but he captures my wrist, stopping the blow.

My chest is heaving, and for a moment I forget that Vincent is there until he is suddenly behind the man in front of me, swinging a book down on his head. Mask man collapses, a muted “oof” emitted as he hits the floor.

I struggle to stand, my vision still blurry, but manage to stumble to my feet. My voice is hoarse when I go to speak. “We need to call the police.”

Vincent immediately goes to help me, bringing me to the couch. I take my eyes off the stalker for two seconds, looking around for my phone. Vincent stops me, turning my head back to him. “You’re probably concussed; you should-“

His voice is cut off entirely, and I watch his eyes roll back as he crumples to the floor. Behind him, stands my stalker, chest heaving. He doesn’t make a sound as he kicks Vincent roughly in the side.
I notice the bookend in his hand, a vintage piece that I had acquired at a yard sale years ago. I let my eyes drift up to the man, my fingertips numbing out and vision swimming.

“Are you going to hurt me again?”

The voice is gritty, rough, but entirely unmistakable.

“Yes, I am.”

He sinks down, eye level with me now. He reaches back, sliding off the hoodie. Straight black hair slides into view, and I tense. He continues, slowly releasing the strings holding the mask in place.

My heart rate ratchets up, and I can feel how close to losing consciousness I am, but my eyes don’t move as the mask slips off.

Revealing the sickeningly familiar face of Levi fucking Ackerman.

He smirks, his eyes drifting over my shocked expression.

“That’s right, little Lotus. It's been me this whole time. Now, you and I are gonna figure out what punishment you should receive for not listening to me the first time.”

At his words, I stop fighting the urge to lose consciousness and let myself drift into black.
------
My eyes snap open to an all white hospital room, the concerned face of Hange looming over me. I go to sit up, feeling the pull of IVs in my veins, but collapse back as Hange’s hand shoots out to stop me.

“Don’t move yet, you’re still drugged. Levi brought you.”

My eyes widen, head shaking back and forth, but I can’t speak, my throat closed up tightly. I scan the room but I don’t see him. I look back to Hange, unsticking my throat. “Water.”

They hand me a glass, and I take a long drink, my parched throat finally relaxing enough to let me get out a sentence. “Where is he? Is he here?”

Hange nods, smoothing back my hair. “He stepped out for a cigarette. He called me and said your stalker had shown up and you called him after being attacked. Are you okay? I thought you left with that guy.”

I blink rapidly, processing the information. So, he lied to Hange. Hange doesn’t know. I can tell them.

I don’t even get a chance when the fucker himself strolls into the room.

“No one else was at her house, Hange. I already told you that.” His eyes lock on mine, a clear warning in them to keep my mouth shut. Something about the look sends my pulse sky high, but my voice is too steady when it emerges. I shock myself when I lie right behind him. “He’s right. I dropped Vincent off at his house.”

His mouth twitches up, and I watch his concerned mask fall back into place. He moves to Hange, placing a hand on their shoulder. “Go home, I can sit with her.”

“But shouldn’t we call the police?”

“At this point, I don’t think the police can really do anything. Let me handle it. I’ll use my connects to figure out what’s going on.”

Hange seems to accept this and turns back to me. “Are you good with that?”

I nod, plastering a fake smile on my face. “I’m alright with it. Can you let everyone at work know I’m alright?” They nod at me and kiss my forehead before leaving the room.

My eyes shoot to Levi, and for a tense moment neither of us speaks. He moves to the chair next to the bed, sitting down and crossing a leg over his thigh. His stupid ass smirk is firmly in place now.

“I told you to listen.”

I stare at him for a moment, willing my heart rate not to speed up.

“You’re actually a fucking psycho.”

He studies his nails for a moment, before sighing heavily like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “So dramatic. You act like I killed the guy.”

My eyes widen again, and I stiffen. “Well… did you?”

He turns that icy gaze on me, danger written in his expression. “Why? You in love with him?”

I scoff, trying to cross my arms but failing when it pulls the IVs. “I don’t, but I don’t think he deserves to die just because I decided to bring him home.”

Levi leans forward in the chair, fingers tapping the blanket covering my legs. Another shiver runs through me, but this one is different. I push my thighs together.

“But you see, he absolutely does. He thought he had a chance. He thought he could put his disgusting hands on you. He thought he deserved to watch you fall apart on his cock.”

My face twists in disgust, but my stomach is doing somersaults. “You’re fucking deluded.”

He stands, looming over me and tracing a single finger across my cheek, the sensation crawling down my spine. “Call me what you want, but at least I wouldn’t fuck you on a couch like a dog in heat.”

I slap his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

His hand snaps back out, grabbing my jaw roughly and yanking my head to face him. He lowers his head. I fight his grip, but he only tightens his fingers until I think my jaw will crack from the pressure.
“Let me be so perfectly clear with you, Lotus,” he says, his voice spreading over my skin like rot. I flick my eyes up, seeing nothing but raw pleasure in his irises. “I will continue to hurt anyone who thinks they can breathe your air. The faster you realize that, the easier this will be.”

He roughly pushes my face away, straightening up. “I’m gonna go get you discharged, and then we’re gonna go back to your house so you can pack a bag. You’re gonna fix that pretty mouth to lie to Hange, and you’re gonna tell them you feel unsafe at home. Then I’m gonna take you home. If you try to fight me, I’m gonna knock you out and tie you down until you can listen to me.”

He's gone in an instant, and my head drops back against the bed again.

I’m stuck with a psychopath and realizing that I’m not entirely sure I want to escape.

Chapter Text

By the time we reach Levi’s house, I make the decision to comply just enough to ensure he doesn’t hurt me. My head is already throbbing again, even with the painkillers the hospital gave me. Of course, his stupid Mercedes seats are heated, which makes me tired.

I’m leaning against the window with my eyes closed when we come to a stop. He doesn’t speak, just gets out of the car. I sit up, watching him walk around the car to my door. He opens it, and I get out on my own, not wanting him to touch me. His house is modest, a two story bungalow tucked back into a secluded area. I stare up at the dark house, taking in where I assume I’ll now be living.

“Come on, I’ve got better shit to do. Hurry up and stop gawking.”

I walk behind him, releasing a sigh from the back of my throat. He strides up onto the wide front porch, before turning to me. He smirks widely. “Wait until you see what I got for you.”

I arch a brow. “I don’t like surprises.”

“You’ll like this one.” He grabs my hand, and I try to wrench away, but he doesn’t let me, snaring my fingers with his. He drags me through the door, into a large entry way, classically styled in greys and whites with a hint of black here and there. I don’t have time to look around as he drags me through the open space past a sitting room and into a bedroom.

It’s exactly the same as my bedroom in my house.

He gestures for me to enter, and I follow instructions, looking around.

“What. The. Fuck?”

He chuckles. “See? I told you you’d like it. All those photos of your room really came in handy for this part. I expect you to keep it cleaner than your own room at your old house though.”

I whirl around, my eyes wide. “WHAT THE FUCK, LEVI?”

He tilts his head in concern. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d like having a bit of your old house here.”

My chest is heaving, and white dots begin dancing behind my eyes. I force myself to breathe, and Levi moves closer, cautiously rubbing my back and speaking softly, his voice icy in my ear.

“Don’t freak out, okay? I know you’ve got more fight than that. Not that it will matter anyway if you can’t get your head on straight.”

I roll my eyes, breathing through my nose. I straighten, forcing a smile on my face. “Levi, thank you. But I’m still angry with you. Can you give me some time alone?”

He smirks, seemingly happy again. “Of course. And I haven’t forgotten about your punishment, so make sure to think about it.”

He leaves, closing the door hard behind him. I breathe out hard, sitting down on the bed and looking around. The gravity of my situation starts to fully kick in, and my hands are shaking.

Levi is my stalker.

Levi has been doing this to me.

Levi cut out Jackson’s tongue.

Oh my God.

I rush to the en suite bathroom and vomit. I heave over the toilet for nearly 5 minutes, until my stomach finally seems empty. I slump against the toilet, the porcelain cool against my flushed skin. I take a few shaky breaths, before pushing myself up into a standing position and walk over to the sink, already filled with all my favorite products. I turn on the faucet and splash my face with water, before looking into the mirror.

I will not let this man break me down like this. He wants crazy?

I’ll give him fucking crazy.

I fix myself up before leaving the room, walking around like I own the place. He’s on the couch, a steaming cup of tea in his hand. I join him, sitting in an armchair near him. He looks up from his phone at my presence, and immediately sets aside his phone and teacup.

“We need to set some boundaries if you want me to stay with you, Levi.”

He perks up slightly, like he already considered this. “What do you think those boundaries should be?”

I square my shoulders, like I’m facing against an army rather than a single man.

“I need space, so I expect to be left alone for at least 4 hours a day. And I want to keep working at the Corps.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t let you keep working. Hange is too nosy.”

“They will be even more nosy if I’m not working.”

He seems to consider this for a moment. “Alright, fine. Only for that reason. If I find out you’re telling anyone about what I did, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

I nod, ignoring the threat. “I don’t want you touching me without consent either. I will use force if you do.”

He snorts. “Obviously. But if you try to fight me, I’m not asking for consent.”

I hum in response. The room falls silent again, and he picks up his teacup, taking a sip while studying me. “So, did you think of a punishment?”

I’m pulled from my thoughts at the question. I blink and look over at him. “No, I didn’t. Why am I being punished?”

He grunts, setting the cup down and leaning forward with his hands clasped. “Because you can’t fucking listen, Lotus. Because you were a dirty little whore, and you deserve to be punished.”

The words roll over me with the force of a steamroller, and I shiver. I’ve never had much of a degradation kink, but whenever it’s Levi who speaks to me like that, my body reacts on command like its been taught this way.

I clear my throat, ignoring the urge to press my thighs together. “No. I didn’t think about it.”

He smirks. “Good thing I did. Come with me.” He stands, offering me his hand. I take it and he leads me through the house, to a door that’s painted deep slate grey. He turns back to me. “You don’t enter this door without me, understand?”

I nod, and he unlocks it, pushing it open. We descend the stairs carefully, and he tells me to close my eyes. I can hear a squeaking sound, and smell the strong scent of antiseptic. Finally, he murmurs for me to remove my hand from my eyes, and when I do, my heart drops out.
-------
Levi’s breath is against my ear as his arms encircle me gently. “Breathe, Lotus. It’s only your little boytoy. Don’t you like this?”

My eyes are stuck on the sight before me. Vincent. Chair. Blood. Cuts. Bloody knife.

Levi’s hands are tracing my sides. “That’s right, flower, take it all in. You like my artwork?”

Levi has carved the message clear as day.

Four words, in a somehow neat scrawl across Vincent’s abdomen.

‘THE FLOWER IS MINE.”

I shudder, and Levi groans in my ear. “That’s it, my beautiful flower. I want you to look at him, and I want you to understand that every man you touch that isn’t me is gonna wear this brand for life.”
The sight is so sick, but I can’t help my body’s reaction. My panties are damp at the thought. The way his obsession has driven him this far.

His arms tighten incrementally around me, and I’m melting beneath his touch as he continues to drag his fingertips over my skin. I almost lose sight of what this is, until he speaks to Vincent.

“See that? She melts for me, not you. Disgusting trash.”

I stiffen, and he immediately releases me. I jump to help Vincent, and Levi snatches me back by the hair, wrapping it around his hand and yanking my neck back. I yelp, and he hisses directly into my ear.

“You will listen to me, Lotus. I want you to pick up that knife.”

He shoves me down towards the floor, and I fall on my knees, the bones cracking against the concrete of the floor. My hands tremble, but I pick up the knife. The metal clashes against the ground, the sound reverberating through the room. I pick it up and grip it in my hand, the handle still covered in blood. I adjust my grip, praying that he doesn’t make me do what I think he wants me to do.

He leans down next to my ear. “Come on, Flower. I know you have it in you.”

I swallow down the retort, trying to think of any fighting move that could get me out of this. I draw a complete blank. I choke out a sob. “P-Please, Levi…”

He tugs on my hair, sending pinpricks of pain through my scalp. “Shut the fuck up, and fucking stab him.”

My hand moves without my permission, the knife arcing through the air before catching Vincent’s shoulder. His scream is cut off by the gag in his mouth, sweat dropping off him in rivulets. My eyes reach his, and I beg for forgiveness with my irises. Screams continue to sound off the walls of the damp room, the sound eerily bouncing off the walls. The knife collides with his skin repeatedly, before my arm drops exhaustedly.

Vincent’s eyes are closed, and he’s still breathing in short gasps, but I can tell that he won’t last long without proper care.

The knife clatters to the ground, and Levi chuckles above me, releasing my hair.

“There we go, baby. I knew you had it in you. Such a good girl.”

Even now, my body is responsive, my core clenching at his words. I feel myself being picked up gently, but my senses are dull, like a light switch has been shut off in my head. Levi carries me through the house, the tones of grey looking twisted in the dim lighting. I’m set down in a bed that is softer than sin. I feel him brush his lips across my temple, and I shiver.

“Don’t worry, baby. He won’t die tonight.”

I hear the door pull shut, but my exhausted body catches up with me, and I’m pulled into darkness once more.

Chapter Text

The room is too warm.

I push up into a sitting position, head and shoulder screaming in protest. I blearily blink, trying to clear the sleep from my eyes. The room is completely unfamiliar to me, covered in the same shade of slate grey as the rest of Levi’s home.

I’m in his room.

The thought makes me clutch the blanket tighter.

I feel outmatched, like I’m drifting in an in between somewhere. I’ve never been unable to fight my way out of a tense situation. As my eyes wander the room, I realize something.

Levi is not a sentimental man.

There are no framed family photos, no personal effects of any kind. A simple bed, covered in a black duvet, and a modest dresser. A chair tucked into a corner. The room is almost impersonal, like a ghost lives here rather than a man. The only sign that he’s been here is a pair of dog tags, resting on the nightstand. I pick them up, looking at the names etched into them.

RAL, PETRA. ZACHARIUS, MICHE.

I set them back down, my mind on the two names I just saw.

Who are they? His combat buddies?

I don’t get time to think long, when the door snicks open. Levi stands there, hands in his pockets. “Welcome back, flower.”

I blink again, observing him. “What happened to Vincent?”

“He’s fine. On his way to the hospital, with an excuse too. You really did a number on him. I’m proud.”

He strolls over, sitting on the side of the bed like this was a normal conversation. The bed dips with his weight, and his head turns to me.

“How are you feeling?”

I stare at him, feeling my eyes widen. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

He chuckles again. “Just thought I’d ask. I didn’t think you’d have a response just yet. But tell me one thing.”

I let my eyes rest on him. “What?”

“Did you at least enjoy it?”

I’m stunned into silence, not by the question. But at my own willing response.

“Yes.”

I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the sound of his flesh tearing under the blade, enjoyed the way he screeched into the gag. I enjoyed the metallic smell of blood filling and clogging my nostrils.

I didn’t want to stop. And Levi seems to sense that.

His nostrils flare at the realization, and he growls low in his throat. “I knew it. Filthy girl.”

I flush, ducking my head to hide my shame. Am I really so low that I enjoy hurting someone now? Have I really become that depraved?

I feel cool fingers under my chin, and I lift my head. Levi’s eyes burn into mine, like a curse being etched into my soul. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Lo. You enjoy the thrill of bringing others pain, just like me.”

“But that’s…. that’s not right, Levi.”

“It may not be right, but when has life ever been?”

My shoulders slump at his words, because he’s right. I have always enjoyed bringing harm to others, even when I was young. It’s one of the many reasons that Mason and Mitch took me into their gym. Even back then, I knew something wasn’t right with how I behaved towards others. Constantly in fights. Constantly causing trouble. It’s no wonder my mother abandoned me. I shake my head clear again, refocusing on Levi.

“So, now what?”

He places a hand on my duvet-covered knee. “Now, you get ready. We’re going out.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LEVI’S POV
He knows he shouldn’t take her out in her condition. But he needs her to see what she’s in for. What life she’ll be leading next to him. He turns when she exits, clad in the gown he chose for her.

Grey silk draped over her body, the diamonds he bought her sparkling in the low light of the house. She looks like his best wet dream come to life.

The dress is simple, a thin layer of silk clinging to her soft curves as she moves. A high slit in the thigh area, her beautiful skin peeking out just enough to spark the imagination. His mouth waters at the sight, and he struggles to keep his hands to himself. He knows she wants consent when he touches her, so he’ll simply make her be the first to fold on that rule.

They exit his home, her delicate hand clasped against his upper arm. He guides her to the car, opening her door for her like they are a couple rather than what they are now.

What are they, you’re asking?

Who knows?

He is fighting the urge to take her where she is, nestling against his Mercedes’ seats like she owns the damn car. But he is determined to show her that he can be gracious with her.

He takes off towards the party being hosted at the warehouse, leading her into the building with the confidence of a man who deserves her. She clings to his arm, breasts brushing lightly against his arm.

His dick is so hard, it’s a miracle he doesn’t drag her off to fuck the desire out of both of them. He knows she wants him, could smell the sex on her while she stabbed that fucking mistake in his basement.

She’s a good girl. He knows she is. He knew it from the day she moaned his name while her fingers were buried in her sweet cunt.

The thought makes him near feral. But he refocuses, noticing his former fling, Mariska, approaching them. He shifts closer to her, hands on her waist as he steers them towards her. He leans down to talk to her directly.

“Be nice to Mariska, flower. She’s dramatic.”

He hears her huff softly, before he watches her face transform. Her face becomes soft, welcoming even. He knows better than to trust her smile.

Mariska seems completely unaware, immediately pressing herself against him. “Hiiiiiiiii, Levi!” Her chipper voice breaks the small bubble of quiet he had with Lotus, and it pisses him off immediately.

He shrugs her off. “Mariska.” He says brusquely.

“You haven’t called! What’s going on?” She pouts.
He feels Lotus tense beside him but focuses on Mariska as he speaks.

“Mariska, this is Lotus.”

Her turquoise eyes trail to Lotus, an immediate air of disdain present on her face.

“Oh, so this is what’s been pulling your attention? Isn’t this that fighter who got disqualified?”

Immediately, he tenses up, not wanting this wanton female to make his flower feel less than. He moves in front of Lotus, not wanting Mariska’s full attention on her.

“Lotus is here as my companion, Mariska. Have some respect.”

Mariska’s eyes widen, taking in the scene. “Ahhh, I see. She has on the color of your house. Interesting. Did you tell her who I am as well, or did you fail to mention it like you always do?”

He lets his hand slide over Lotus’ back, bringing her closer to him. ”Why would she need to know you? You don’t mean anything to me.”

Mariska’s dress swishes softly as she moves closer, her lips near Levi’s ear. “She’ll want to know if you decide to take her.”

He shoves her back, releasing Lotus for a full second. In that time, Lotus’ hand snakes around her throat, gentle but still menacing enough to make the woman pause.

Lotus leans closer as Levi’s dick twitches against his zipper.

“Let me make something clear, dirty skank.” She breathes, voice light against the harsh din of the room. “I’m not sharing, okay? Keep your fucking hands to yourself, or I’ll cut them off.”

Fuck. Levi is definitely going to have to fuck her now.

She pulls away, and Mariska seems to shrink into herself, scurrying away. Levi reaches out and hauls Lotus over to him, his nostrils filling with that spicy scent that is uniquely her.

“Bad time to be possessive, little lotus. People are staring.”

To his surprise, she winds her arm through his, leaning against him.

“Let them watch. I’m not sharing tonight.”

Levi’s head spins, and he wonders if he’s too far gone for this.
-------
I know I’m pushing his buttons now. I can smell a challenge in the air around us.

His eyes flick to mine again, full of that same lust from before. I don’t register what’s happening as he drags me out, into a secluded hallway. I’m shoved against the wall, my heart beating steadily despite the tense environment.

He breathes against the skin of my neck, voice straining.

“You always know how to cause a scene, don’t you?”

“I aim to please, and you see pleased. I’d say I win this one.”

His knee presses between my legs, my thighs sliding apart to allow the intrusion. I hear his breath hitch slightly, and I smirk against the collar of his shirt. I lick his earlobe before continuing.

“I knew you wouldn’t let her disrespect me, but I figured I’d stake my claim early.”

He shivers at my attention, melting under my gentle ministrations.

“You know I don’t like to share, Levi?”

He shivers, covering a groan in the softness of my shoulder.

I jerk my leg up, pressing him against my groin. “Does that feel good? You want more?”

He nods, his teeth grazing my skin.

I shove him back, creating a void of cool air between us. “Then fucking earn it. Don’t let your previous pets come near me again, or I’ll have to react badly to them.”

As I stride away, I hear him growl softly, and smirk. I’ve won this round.
-------
I’m 6 champagne glasses deep when I hear it. The crack of bone against bare skin.

I push through the crowd and find Levi. He’s in the middle of the circle; the white collar of his suit covered in a stranger’s blood. I watch in silence, before realizing who the stranger is. It isn’t a stranger at all.

It’s Kenny.

Levi’s fist busts his face over and over, blood pouring freely as Kenny cackles beneath the weight of the strikes. Finally, Levi lets up, and Kenny rises again.

“Looks like I taught you well, runt.”

Levi stands, pinprick sharp. My eyes wander over his frame, and I realize he’s trembling.

I step into the circle, and they press in, eyes curious. I let my eyes float across the crowd, before they land on Kenny. “So, we meet again. It’s unfortunate that I’m about to get blood on this gorgeous dress Levi got me.”

He doesn’t get a chance to speak before my fist flies across the space, and the crack of bone rings out across the room.

Chapter Text

I’m staring at the schedule trying to organize it in a way that fits everyone’s off requests when Hange bursts through my office door. I look up at their face, concern written on my features.

“Everything okay? You look like someone just blew up the bar.”

They flop down into the chair in front of my desk, a loud groan emitting from their lips.

“Fucking Levi is being insufferable! He says I can’t go over to see you at his house! How am I supposed to have quality time with my girl?”

I smile softly. “I’m sure we can figure out an arrangement that works, even for His Lordship.”

They laugh, face contorting in happiness. “You’re such a clown, Lo.”

My phone goes off on the desk, and I check the text.

LEVI: Picked up the dress from the dry cleaner. They saved it.

ME: Awesome. Also, let Hange come over to the house, they’re complaining.

LEVI: No.

ME: Yes, I’ll take my rising aggression out on your furniture. With a steak knife. The serrated kind.

LEVI: I’ll think about it.

ME: Thank you 

I put the phone down, turning back to Hange. “Besides missing me, what have you been up to?”

The conversation turns more casual, leading into talk of Hange’s daily routine and what they think about the new series they’re watching. I barely notice Levi entering the office.

“Lo.”

I look up, meeting that icy gaze. “Hi, Levi. Wanna join our conversation?”

He shakes his head, his expression darkening. “No. I need a minute alone with you.”

I look over at Hange, whose wearing their ‘oh, shit’ face. They rise, clapping Levi twice on the shoulder before exiting quietly. Levi slides into the chair, his eyes scanning the room. I tap a finger against the desktop, waiting patiently.

“It’s a mess in here.”

I click my tongue against my teeth, rotating my chair to face him fully. “Did you seriously kick Hange out to try and lecture me about the state of my office? If that’s the case, I need you out. I have a schedule to finish.”

He rolls his eyes, huffing out a breath. “No, that’s not why I came. I came to discuss something about that event we attended.”

My knuckles are still wrapped, the skin split slightly. I continue tapping on the desk. “What about it?”

“Why did you punch Kenny?”

My tapping pauses. “He hit you, so I hit him. Why?”

“Why? You tell me why. How are you so comfortable with this?”

I chuckle, leaning back in my chair. “Well, let’s just say that I’ve decided not to be afraid of you.”

He leans forward, a hand resting under his chin. “Is that so?”

I nod, smiling sweetly. “You wanna act like a psycho? I can too. So, let’s play a game.”

His eyebrow rises slightly. “A game.”

I nod, humming quietly. His eyes meet mine, and a cold finger licks up my spine. I clench my hands slightly in my lap, and his eyes flick to them, catching the movement. His responding smirk is playful, sliding away as quickly as it comes.

He rises from the chair, bracing his hands against my desk and leaning in. “Let’s see how long you can play, little flower. I’ll enjoy watching you squirm.”

I suck in a soft breath, still leaning back in my chair. “We’ll see, then.”

He taps my desk twice before heading to the door. He turns back, his normal resting bitch face returning. “Also, we have another event in 2 weeks. I’ll find you a dress.”

I go to protest, but he’s gone, the air in the room leaving with him.
------
The two weeks are up, and I’m in yet another sinful ass dress. This time, a deep purple, more of a velvet texture.

I exit the room, my heels too loud in the house. He’s sitting on the couch, staring at his phone as usual, his suit immaculate.

“Well, am I presentable?”

His gaze finds me, drawing a slow line down my frame, all the way to my painted toes. He hums, low in his throat, before rising from the couch and strolling over to me.

“It’s missing something.”

He steps behind me, and something wraps around my neck, snug but not uncomfortable. I reach up to touch it.

“What is that?”

“It’s just a little reminder of who your dealing with.”

I walk over to the hall mirror to look.

The motherfucker got me a collar.

Thin black strap, with a beautiful diamond encrusted L on it in cursive script.

Heat pools low in my gut, and I pull my eyes away from it. “We should go,” I start, but my sentence is cut short when I feel his hands running up my arms. I freeze, and his hands drift until they reach my shoulders, before he lightly presses a kiss directly on one of them, sending a bolt of electricity through me.

“Now we can go.”

I follow him out, my skin heated from the interaction. Fuck, he smells so good. I keep my posture in check, not wanting to give away how I feel. But of course, like a bloodhound, the sick bastard picked up on how I feel. When I climb into the car, his fingers linger as he straps me in, brushing against my collarbone with care. On the way there, his hand glides across my thigh like it belongs there. I’m heated now, my blood boiling.

By the time we reach the event, I’m nearly overstimulated. My skin feels like a live wire, and the dress shifting against it doesn’t help any. I follow Levi in, who continuously slides his hand against my waist, the touch like a warning. I’m tempted to pull him into a secluded corner and show him a real scene.

He leans down, breath brushing my ear. “Behave, Flower. I’ll reward you if you’re a good girl.”

I shiver at the attention. I notice a tall brunette in a gold dress commanding the room, and lean close to him. “Who is that?”

“That’s Alyssa. She is, unfortunately, my ex.”

The brunette catches sight of Levi and myself, before she strides over, heels clacking loudly in the room. Her approach brings a scent of vanilla and weed, a heady mixture. “Look who it is, my favorite captain. Hi Levi. Who’s your friend?”

I feel him grimace beside me, and tense at the feeling. Levi is fucking mine, even if this Amazonian goddess is his ex. I watch their eyes meet, and her face shifts into a “fuck me” smile.

“How have you been?”

His hand slides back across my waist, his grip firm. “I’ve been the same as always. You?”

She twirls her hair, and I notice the care put into it, her hair a shiny deep black. “Oh, you know, just dealing with Kenny’s shit as usual. I’ve been calling you, but you never answer.”

I hear him snort. “Obviously, I have a reason. Alyssa, this is Lotus.” He gestures to me.

I wave politely. “A pleasure.”

She regards me with the attitude of a human looking at a pest. “Right.” She turns back to Levi, and I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

Feeling dramatic, I slide a hand around Levi’s back. “Actually, we had something to attend to. You don’t mind, do you, Amanda?”

She scoffs. “It’s Alyssa.”

“Yeah, okay. We’ll see you later, yes?”

I don’t stop to see if she responds before dragging him to a secluded corner like I planned. I shove him against the wall, my breathing heavy. “Are you trying to piss me off?”

He smirks lazily, like he anticipated this. “No, of course not.”

I slam my hands against his chest. “I’m not a toy, Levi.”

His voice is placating, like I’m a toddler throwing a tantrum. “I know that-“

My hands on his belt make him choke, and I take full advantage of the situation. I continue sliding my hands along his waist, until he grabs my wrists, his grip bruising.

His voice cuts through the air like a knife. “What are you doing?”

I scoff. “Showing you how I feel.”

“Trust me, Lotus, I’m reading it loud and clear.”

My eyes lock on his, that fire from before spreading low across my stomach. “If your fucking ex is gonna talk to you, she’s gonna do it while my fucking spit and cum cover your cock. On my terms.”

His reaction is nearly instantaneous, his hands grabbing my shoulders and forcing me down. I have seconds to lift my dress, positioning myself. He removes the belt with precision, and he slides it out from the loops. He undoes his pants, the zipper too loud in this small pocket of quiet we’ve carved out.

My hands are rushed, and I reach, curling my fingers under the waistband and dragging his pants and boxers down in one swift movement. His cock now free, I feel spit gathering in my mouth at the sight of him, hard, thick, and fucking huge. For just a second, I think I might be out of my depth here, until his voice curls down to me, commanding.

“Spit, then open and relax your jaw. Stick your tongue out.”

I obey, letting the gather spit in my mouth drip out onto his hard shaft. I pull back, and his moves, stroking along his length, spreading the wetness around. I open my mouth, tongue out like instructed, and breathe through my nose.

He slides into my mouth without ceremony, hissing softly. He gestures for me to hold his thighs, and I bring my hands up to grip them. His voice is rough. “If you can’t take it, tap twice. If you don’t, I’m not stopping.”

He doesn’t give me any other warnings before pulling back and shoving back into my throat. I choke loudly around him, spit already spilling from the corners of my mouth. His hand finds my hair, careful to mess up my updo, and he goes lower, gripping the back of my head and using it as a lever. The slick sound of his ministrations fill the space, and I moan around him.

I try to push my knees together to find relief for my aching sex, but his foot stops me. “Not yet, Flower. Take a bit more, and I’ll give you what you need.”

He continues to shove into my throat, his pace punishing. Tears are streaming down my face, but I blink through them, determined to take everything he’s giving me. Finally, I feel his thighs tense, and he pulls out completely.

He grabs my arm, hauling me up and pushing me into the wall. My shoulders sing out in pain, but I ignore it as he yanks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. His fingers find my panties, and he yanks once, shredding them straight off. I moan at the action, cool air brushing my overheated pussy. He doesn’t give me time to breathe before his fingers are sliding into me, curling as he brings them in and out. His thumb finds my clit, and I shudder, a low moan rolling off my tongue.

“That’s it. You did so well, Flower. God, you’re so fucking tight.” He punctuates the sentence by adding a third finger to the two already inside me, making my eyes roll back. He chuckles, the sound coiling over my skin. “Oh, you like it when I stretch you?”

I’m mumbling something, but it’s garbled, the words choked out by the waves of pure pleasure coursing through me. He slides his fingers back out, and I whine at the sudden emptiness.

He adjusts, bringing me slightly lower, and I feel the hot head of his cock breach my entrance, before he uses his hands to simply slide me down, the delicious sting in the stretch stealing the air out of my lungs. His eyes are fixated on my expressions, rage mixing with lust in a violent dance. He continues to slide me up and down his shaft in slow, torturous strokes.

He leans closer, whispering in time with his thrusts.

“You’re such a fucking bitch, I should’ve made you wait.” Thrust.

“Is this what you dreamed about?” Thrust.

“You gonna let another man in between these legs?” Thrust.

“This pussy is mine now.” Thrust.

My head is swimming at the words, my breath unable to catch up. My hands come up, clawing at his back over his suit jacket. “I fucking hate you.”

He chuckles, slamming into me faster. “Oh, I know. Hate me while you cum all over my cock.”

He keeps his pace, driving into me with wet slaps. His lips find my neck, kissing along the bared expanse. “Look at you, in my necklace. I don’t want you to take it off.”

I feel that sharp crescendo rising in my stomach. He seems to sense it too, and he picks up again, before his teeth find a soft section of my shoulder, biting down hard. That band holding me together breaks apart, and I cry out. He fucks me straight through the orgasm, before tensing and emptying himself inside me.

We take a second to breathe, the space filled with nothing but our breathing. Finally, he puts me down, and I fix my dress. He pulls up his pants, redoing them and threading his belt back through the loops. Once he finishes, he crosses to me, lifting my chin to look at me properly.

“Your mascara is smeared. You need to fix it.”

I roll my eyes. “Obviously.”

He smirks. “Thought I fucked that attitude out of you just now. Apparently, I’ll have to do it again.”

I pat his chest. “You just keep trying, and I’ll keep making sure to fuel that fire. Now I’m gonna go fix my makeup, and I swear to God if I come back to you chatting up that fucking woman, I’ll stab her.”

He leans down, grabbing the scrap of my panties, and stuffs them in his pocket. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not thinking about her right now.”

I smirk, before turning on my heel and heading to the bathroom to clean up.

Chapter Text

I spend two days in Levi’s embrace.

Two days of nothing except the smell of him, and that strange rope that ties us together.

Two days before I remember what this is; deception.

I shove him away from me, his marks still painting my skin. He pulls away immediately, that strange compulsion to beg for consent ever present between us. I don’t watch him as he disappears into the bathroom to clean himself off, don’t look as he chooses a pair of sweats and a T-shirt to wear. I don’t look as I walk back to my makeshift bedroom.

I’ve been made a fool of, again.

I can’t explain that current running under my skin, the drive to be closer to him. The ever-present pulse in my veins to have him, be with him.

I’m like a woman starved, avoiding responsibility and the feeling of his lips on my neck.

Work is a slow drag on jagged concrete, as I attempt to come to terms with what I’ve done.

I’ve kissed him. Fucked him. Let him crawl into the crevices between my heart and the stone my ribcage is made of.

I don’t respond to emails from Hange, whose away on business. I don’t open my door when anyone of the staff walks by. I ignore everyone, attempting to make sense of the disaster I find myself in.

I’m now an accomplice in his evil. Equal in his misdeeds.

How did I get here?

I ponder it, even as he sits silently across from me, noticing my shift in demeanor. I don’t make an effort to respond as he attempts to engage me. I’m too busy wondering why I ever gave into that darker side of me.

I get the keys to my house and car back, and I beeline it for the house.

Little pills, lined up in a row.

Mocking me for being fucking weak.

Weak. Again.

The first swallow doesn’t lift me out of that fog, doesn’t touch the edges of my nature.

Three pills later, I’m floating.

On the sixth, I hear that familiar rasp, and regret laced between words while I’m dragged into a room of white.

Words spill out of my lips as I fight to the surface. I can hear him reaching for me, can see the photo of it.

But there is nothing in my mind’s eye.

When I finally resurface, I’m in a room, made of blank white walls. The smell of antiseptics is too strong in my nostrils. I hear the beep of monitors in my peripheral, but I pay them no mind as my eyes scan my surroundings. Flowers sit dying in an ugly vase by the window, and I can feel too cold, stale air drifting around me. I pull myself up to a sitting position, lungs screaming in protest as I attempt to pull in precious oxygen.

The door sighs open, like breath escaping tired lungs.

I turn, and Hange steps in, face written with a sigh of relief and regret, tied into a neat package.

“You told me you quit pills, Lotus.”

I watch them sit.

“You know it’s never that easy.”

A sigh. A chair creaking in protest of weight.

“Was the rehab for nothing, then?”

I stare at my fingers, too pale in the sterile lighting.

“I can’t be perfect, Hange. Not since then.”

They just watch me, hazel eyes drifting over my frame. I shrink beneath their gaze, like I can hide the mistakes behind a thin blanket and a slow sugar drip into my veins.

“I made a mistake.”

I hear air being blown from between pursed lips, and know I’m in for a lecture.

“Yeah, you did. One that has consequences. Paps took photos of you being carried into the ambulance. Your agent has been calling nonstop since. Even that stupid bastard knows the damage this will do.”

I hang my head ashamed. Always so goddamn weak.

I feel a hand press lightly against the blanket tucked under my legs. “Maybe you’re better hiding with Levi. Better than you are alone.”

My neck snaps my head back into place, my eyes catching theirs fiercely. “I can’t go back there. You don’t understand.”

“So help me understand, Lo. All I see is you cracking apart again. And I can’t sit here and watch you dissolve again.”

And my cracked lips part, ready to spill the disgusting blood of it all onto the floor at Hange’s feet. Two seconds is all it takes for me to snap my jaw shut again.

“No.”

They shake their head, the heavy weight of truth between us like a blade. “I already know, Lo. You don’t have to hide behind the secret. I know it was Levi that did that to you. I knew, and I did nothing to stop it.”

Eyes widened, I turn to them. The face staring back at me is raw, coded in regret and the weight of mistakes made.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stop him.”

My hand shoots out of its own volition, closing around their warmer one. “Don’t. I walked into a trap you didn’t set. Don’t say sorry for his choices.”

Silence settles between us like a living thing. I feel that fucked up pull again, dragging me back to him.

“We’re not done. I can feel it.”

They sigh heavily, hooded eyes breaking through the thick fog in my head. “So what? You walk back into his web?”

I nod. It’s the only choice left. “His hands were on me, Hange. I’ve let him touch me like he deserves to be there.”

A soft click of the tongue.

“You never could tell when enough was enough.”

I chuckle softly. “I deserve a man like him. Especially with what I’ve done.”

Our eyes meet, and fold into darkness again.

A memory.
------
The metallic smell of iron fills the air, and my taunt cuts clean across the space.

“Come on, you fucking coward. I thought you said you’d whoop my ass if you caught me?”

Crack.

More blood spills, drenching the front of my jeans, my fist raining down.

Crack.

“Stupid-“

Crack.

“Whose fucking laughing now?”

Crack.

I’m winded, my breath coming in short heaves while I beat the blood out of the girl beneath me.

The concrete is dark, covered in items lost during the scuffle. A phone. A note. A makeshift shank, covered in my own blood.

I can feel my wounds leaking, sucking precious seconds from me. I don’t stop, my knuckles ruined, my fist a bloodied mess of skin and bone.

Each hit drives the fire in my veins, drowning out reason and any chance for hope for the blonde underneath me. Steal from my family once, shame on you. A post to the newsletter, anonymous. Second
time?

I’ll kill you.

Ten grand. My scholarship money. I can hear people screaming around me, can feel her friends ripping at my shirt, trying to wrench me back.

“STOP!!!”

The scream rips from her mother’s throat, and I’m thrown back, spine cracking on concrete. My lungs seize. I’m still clawing at the air, my fists refusing to give up while I’m ahead. I feel a large hand push down on my sternum and take a moment to register the man above me.

Mason’s eyes find me, and I register the color in them, hazel bleeding into the edges.

I feel my consciousness crawling back in. I sit up, staring over at the mess of blonde hair and split skin. “Is she?-“

He shakes his head. “Not yet.”

My eyes begin to water, and I register the pain in my hands. I feel a tremor run down my limbs, and Mason scoops me up. He speaks lowly to the woman, and I hear the sobs escaping her torn throat.

“Please make sure she gets to a hospital. I’ll go ahead and pay the tab.”

I feel myself being lifted, and I’m carried away, brain floating off into an abyss I can’t crawl out of.
------
I blink back into focus, just as Levi slips into the room. I can see the fine line of concern drifting across his face. It makes me want to laugh, seeing that emotion on his face. It doesn’t fit the sharp angles of his face. An emotion so soft doesn’t belong on a face like that.

My words crack out before I can stop them. “Come to atone in front of Hange, then?”

His eyes lift, the silver in them like mercury leaking from a thermostat. “They already know, as they just said.”

I snort. “You think that absolves you?”

He shakes his head. “Not a chance. But it’s worth it, if you stop trying to kill yourself.”

I deflate instantly, the words sliding over my skin like waves. “Why, Levi?”

He seems at a loss for words himself. “Call it toxic if you feel like. It doesn’t matter the title.”

I watch him slide into a chair beside my bed, leaning over and piercing me. “Either way, we’re not done, Lotus Kramer.”

Shivers erupt over my skin, and I feel his words strike true. No, we’re not.