Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The rain was starting to pick up as the sun got closer to setting. The streets were dark and gloomy, no lights from the shops or streetlights to illuminate the small street's features. Once the sun would set, there’d be no way to figure out if you were about to hit a curb or even a wall. The city was truly abandoned and cut out by the outside world.

Although, as the rain continued to fall faster and harder, it was easier to hide the sounds of footsteps. Assuming you weren’t a soldier in a group, holding a rifle, uniform with all sorts of things strapped on, and a gas mask to avoid breathing in any spores that weren’t already taken care of. Because then being quiet would be impossible.

“It’s going that way!”
One of the soldiers yelled over the sound of his own group’s footsteps.

“Since when the hell did they run?”
Another spoke up, trying not to trip as they tried to understand their situation.

“What, are you getting tired?”
The third teased.

“Huh? No? Wha-Is this not a brand new behavior? A zombie running away? I mean, it ran out of a clothing store!”

“He’s right,” The fourth and final member spoke, “But regardless of this, all that matters is extermination. We’re still trying to reopen Shibuya. And considering the containment protocols the government took, this should be the only time we deal with this.”

“Aren’t you confident?”
The third asked, hoping for a better understanding of this situation, but was quickly cut off by the one in front.

“Dammit! It turned the corner towards the border. Move it! We can’t lose any of them.”

ーミクー

The footsteps of the death stampede behind her was relentless. They’d had to have been running for a long enough time for Miku to not ever remember this part of Shibuya from her many disguised walks. This had to have been far from her home and Scramble Crossing, after all that’s where her and her friends would normally stroll.

The distance ran was starting to catch up to her legs. Even in death, or undeath, or whatever this state of living was, her body would ache. She just needed to find somewhere to hide. Immediately she was thinking about dodging into the next alley, but white beams of light started to reflect off of the wet street around the corner she just passed.

Without much of an idea on what else she could do, she ran to find the next alley. Which at her inconvenience was at the end of the street where it became a dead end. So either she’d have to find the perfect hiding spot, or beg not to be shot. Though, it didn’t seem like the majority of that party behind her would care about her not being brain dead. So hiding was really the only choice.

She grabbed onto a railing that led to the entrance of the building by the alley to help redirect her motion towards the alley so that she didn’t have to stop herself and then run, or accidentally trip and miss the alley in favor of the wall right ahead of her.

At least what she did helped her to trip onto an old mattress in the alley. Letting out a small exclamation as she fell onto it and bounced back up slightly so that when she landed, her head almost missed the mattress. As she took a moment to recognize how badly that could’ve just ended, she heard a nearby groan. A generic one that reminded her of another way her life could’ve badly ended.

As she sat up and held a hand up to her head to stabilize and reorient herself, she saw the top of a torso sticking out from under some clutter. It was hard to see anything in the alley, but she could assume it was trash or something. The sight tugged at Miku’s heart, even though the other zombie wouldn’t be able to talk or react like they likely used to in their past life. She almost wanted to take the other’s hand, to help them, maybe reassure them. She hadn’t really encountered a sight like this before, normally zombies weren’t stuck and still alive.

“One of you, stay at the entrance to this street. Everyone else, check the clutter by the street, it could be trying to hide from us.” The leader’s confident order was met with a few “Mph”s of acknowledgement. And Miku started to really understand that she had little time.

“Sorry.” She whispered towards the zombie before she looked around the alley for anything. And then she spotted a ladder above the trapped zombie. It looked like the side of an apartment building, with the ladder leading to a balcony. All she needed to do was release it from up there so that she could reach it.

She looked back towards the ground of the alley, and luckily the flashlights’ quick movements reflected every direction and flashed a step-ladder next to the zombie. This alley was already weird enough. Trash bags and now a step-ladder? What did people do back here anyways?
But she didn’t have any time to think about these things, every second brought her closer to removing the first two letters from ‘undead’. She quickly scrambled up from the mattress, grabbing the slippery handles of the step ladder and moving it under the balcony’s ladder.

She quickly looked down to watch her feet as she stepped up, trying her best to avoid falling. Her body was much easier to scrape, and she only had so much thread left in her skirt’s pocket. And she wasn’t too fond of attempting to stitch herself up without honey. It nullified some of the pain, and needles were quite painful at full force.

As she looked up at the ladder, she saw one of the soldiers crouched while searching some of the clutter across the street. Seeing any of them this close was terrifying. Just knowing that all it takes is a little noise just for them to turn around and shoot. It didn’t matter that she wouldn’t be able to return to her idol career, it mattered that she felt the need to live. As if there was something for her beyond this.

“Nothing…” The soldier grumbled, uncrouching and moving back towards the entrance of the street.

Miku took a deep breath to steady herself, which didn’t really do too much as she didn’t have a heart that needed soothing, looked back up at the ladder, and jumped. She could feel the front of her shoe slip slightly on the stool after she had already thrown herself towards the ladder. It wasn’t enough to affect her jump, but it unsettled her how bad that could have been.

As her right hand hit the ladder she tightly shut it around the metal bar, the impact making a small sound that was drowned out by the rain. Miku reached to grab the bar with her other hand and took a moment to let out a sigh of relief. She was about to escape them, or at least make much more distance than she currently had.

Until the ladder slipped down and clanged a bit against the balcony.

Miku’s eyes widened, she tightened her grip on the bar. Silently begging for the soldiers to not have heard her, and for the ladder to stay still.

Only one of her wishes was heard by the universe, because the guards didn’t hear that first sound.

But that ladder did slip further down again. And hanging onto the bottom bars let Miku feel how much she could wiggle it around. This ladder had seen better days, but it wasn’t going to make it through the night.

“Wait, come on!” Miku quietly strained as she quickly moved to grab onto the next rung of the ladder. To which, the ladder slid down a bit further before momentarily getting caught on something. And without much of a choice she tried to pull herself up fast enough to grab onto the metal railing of the tiny balcony. As she leaped and grabbed onto it, she frantically tried to find footing. Which resulted in her kicking the ladder.

Scratch that, the ladder wasn’t only not going to make it through the night. It wasn’t surviving the first 30 seconds Miku touched it.

It landed upright onto the ground, letting out a loud metal clang and giving Miku a ringing in her ears. As the ladder carefully chose which direction to fall, it tipped towards the trash bags that trapped the zombie. Loudly hitting what sounded like glass bottles within the bags.

“Oh n- I-” Miku looked down with fright and some guilt. But before she could even consider saying sorry to the zombie after her immediate reaction-

“It came from the alley, everyone with me!”

Miku continued to look down at the zombie in shock before seeing the white beams of light get bigger on the ground in front of the alley. And the footsteps started to get much louder than the heavy rain.

She pulled herself over the metal railing, and caught herself when she fell onto the balcony flooring. She felt a slight numb pain on her hands and knees as she hit the surface. She grimaced, and looked in between the metal bars of the railing and saw the front of a figure’s head blurrily run into the entrance. She quickly crawled onto the other side of the balcony and laid flat on her back. Staring straight up at the bottom of the balcony above her. All she could do was wait for them to leave now.

“You see anything in there?” The third soldier asked from the start of the alley where he held his rifle up with the attached flashlight to see further down the cramped space.

The fourth who ventured into the alley kept silent for a moment as he looked over at the trash bags. Making out the outstretched arm and head of a human figure.

“Yep, zombie. This should be the one.” He calmly replied.

The other two soldiers’ footsteps caught up as the leader moved past the third, their shoulders hitting as he moved to look at the zombie being illuminated.

The third looked at the second who more cautiously approached the alley, and gestured towards the leader with an incredulous expression. To which, the other untensed and kept in a laugh.

“You sure this is the one?” Asked the leader.

“It’d have to be. It must’ve knocked over the ladder, which also knocked down trashbags on the way to hit him.”

As Miku listened to them, the flashlights allowed her to faintly see the reflection of the glass door next to her.

The leader nodded and stood straight up as he took a device out of his pocket. Biting the tip of his glove to take it off.

“I’ll mark this spot for clean-up then.”

The fourth nodded before toggling his gun’s safety and immediately firing.

Miku just stared up at the balcony above her with wide eyes. There wasn’t a second where they even acknowledged that the zombie was once a person. They just fired.

“Okay, let’s regroup with the other squads and review. Considering that this is the last section we’ve been ordered to clear, we should be done.”

“Wait? Like done-done?” The second asked with hope.

“Sure hope so. We’ve been clearing out this section multiple times a day for like a month now. If there’s a zombie still out here, I’ll be damned.”  The third stated with much displeasure.

He nodded towards the fourth, both of them moving from the alley. The other two just stood there for a moment longer to take a breath.

The second looked at the other, “So you’re telling me we see a zombie come out of a clothing shop, and run away from us, and you just don’t think for a second that this is different?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“You didn’t really acknowledge it either.”

He sighed, “Yeah, it was honestly kind of spooky. Guess I didn’t really want to.”

“What if that wasn’t even a zombie, but just another person who was trapped in this section?”

The third raised his eyebrows in surprise, then carelessly pointed his rifle towards the dispatched zombie, “No if’s. That was what we chased. And for a smart zombie, it wasn’t hiding. It was reaching out.”

“Oh. Yeah…”

The third chuckled, “But hey, if you want an apology or something. We could go out to that one club sometime. The rabbit one?”

“I- How does that make for an apology?!” He stammered.

“They have good drinks, and entertainment I hear.” He mocked.

“What did I do to be assigned to the same team as you?” The second muttered his complaint before the other laughed and left the alley. The second begrudgingly followed him.

Miku gave it a few more seconds before slowly pulling her knees towards herself as she sat up. She looked at the direction the men left in, and blankly stared at her knees. Surprised at how desensitized they were to killing a zombie.

She couldn’t really see much anymore as the soldiers’ flashlights no longer reflected from a distance. But she knew there was a glass door next to her. And it wasn’t like she would find any benefit from going back down.

She felt the shape of the spool of thread in her pocket and thought back to how much she had left. After she finished stitching herself up in the bathroom of the clothing store, she had a couple rotations of it left. It would probably be enough to stitch herself up again.

She balled her hand into a fist and moved parallel to the door. Moving her arm back before sending it straight through the glass door. Thank god it wasn’t thick or high-quality glass, otherwise her hand would probably be broken. But she felt a significant dull pain in her knuckles, and some lines on her arm. At least it was numbed.

She reached for the handle, being careful not to hurt herself further on the glass, and opened the door. She pushed it open, watching as it slowly creaked open. Once it lightly hit the wall and stopped, Miku stayed still as she listened for anything beyond the rain. But she no longer heard anything.

She stepped in and closed the door behind her. Looking into the room that she couldn’t make anything out within.

“I just need a mirror and light…” She sighed. Putting her uncut arm out and playing a suspenseful game of feeling around for furniture and hopefully nothing with a sharp edge.

Once she found the wall, she traced it with her fingers as she moved along it. Kicking what seemed like food bags, bottles, and cans. Her fingers eventually hit the corner, which startled Miku a bit. But all she had to do was the same thing again with this wall. Eventually hitting the rim of a door frame.

Miku raised her eyebrows with hope at what could be on the other side. Realistically it’d be another dark room, but the more she had mapped out in her head the better.

She traced the door with her hand before finding the handle and twisting it. Sliding her right foot back to make sure she wouldn’t trip on any trash before doing the same with the left so that she could open the door fully.

As the door finally passed her face, she could immediately see the other side of a hallway. A light illumination streaked across the walls and doors. Curiously, she stepped out into the hallway and looked at the direction the light seemed to come from.

A building across the street had its lights on. And almost immediately Miku felt that feeling of hope from earlier nearly bloom. It had been so long since she saw lights that weren’t from flashlights or lamps.

She quickly walked up to the window the light came from. An audible squish from her shoes and socks every step and rain water dripping from her body.

As she stared across the street and through the rain that had slowed somewhat, she saw that it was a hallway with an average spacing between doors. Not like the building she was in. It could’ve been a hotel or an apartment building, but all that mattered to her was that she could get somewhere with light.

It didn’t seem that any power was available in this building, or maybe the light switches were already switched off before the area was cut off from electricity. Regardless, Miku wasn’t going to risk going down blacked out stairs or getting stuck in an elevator. And the window was right there.

She put her hands on the inside edges of the window and felt around. Trying to feel if there was any way for her to open it. The light from the other building was making it hard to see with the contra-

Miku stared blanky towards where the window was, as it seemed the window would rather die than just open for a moment.

There was an audible crash. To which Miku stared blankly out the window. Normally a sound like that should mean run and hide. But, she was able to break open that glass door earlier without any interruption. Not to mention, the soldiers went the other way to rendezvous with the others. So surely she was safe. And if she wasn’t. Well, she’d have to run and just hope that the city helped her. Because she hadn’t recognized anything here yet.

Miku leaned her head out of the window, her pigtails resting on the sill as she looked at the smashed window below her on the ground. At least it wasn’t too big. The frame only being a bit larger than her head. But that also meant she’d have to squeeze through the space it previously occupied.

She went back and put her legs out, her front facing inwards, and pushed herself out. Holding on tightly to the window sill, which didn’t seem like it would do much good to hang onto for any longer.

She looked down at the ground, and noticed that she luckily pushed the window out a good distance to where the glass shards weren’t directly below her. She let go of the window sill and landed on her feet with a small thud. It wasn’t that far of a fall, she felt her legs softly groaning through her nerves, but she could still move fairly easily.

She then turned towards the building. It wasn’t directly across the street but rather across on the corner of the street, which was wider than the one she fled on. It looked like a nice area. Relatively clean too. Ignoring the broken glass.

Miku walked around the glass and onto the street, nearly hypnotized by the lights coming from the building. She couldn’t think about the numb pain on her arm or legs. All she could do was keep walking towards what might finally be something for her.

As she got close to the building she noticed a paper posted on the door. She walked up the few steps to the door and looked at the paper.

Cleared

On the bottom of it she could see a symbol that she could only assume was something to do with the government. Meaning that she reached a clean area. No longer in the dangerous part of the quarantine, but the place they won’t patrol again.

She looked down at her still bleeding arm. It wouldn’t do any good to track blood anywhere. She looked behind her to see that there was some noticeable bleeding. Hopefully they’d just see it as the cleaning crew failing. But Miku needed to fix this before heading inside.

Though, the apartment lobby’s lights were good enough for Miku to clearly see her arm outside. It also shone upon the front flower beds, which were discolored and sad from all of the neglect.

Miku went over to the flower bed and put her arm above the soil, reaching in her skirt pocket for the thread and needle. 

She wasn’t the best with her left hand, but she knew the general motions. Hopefully that would help her to do a decent enough job.

ー

“And there.”

Miku wiped off her arm with her other hand and brought it to the front door where the light was the best outside. Her right hand was definitely dark now, but also had some new red stitched down it. Honestly, it wasn’t a bad job. Maybe not as perfect as the stitches she did with her right hand in the past, but it was definitely more than just passable.

She looked up from her no longer bleeding arm and to the apartment building. And then the realization dawned on her, what if the building was locked? If she broke a window, then they’d definitely have to investigate the building. Then she’d be found and killed.

She reached down to at least try the door.

“Oh.”

Miku was pleasantly surprised by the door moving smoothly in. Although, she didn’t want to waste too much more time being out here. Just imagining resting safely sounded like the best feeling there could be. Even if rest didn’t feel like it used to. Something about the routine was nice. On top of that, being soaked was starting to make her feel too cold and slow. Though, the front of the building gave protection from the rain, allowing Miku to have already dried off a decent amount. Dry enough for her shoes to not leave wet prints at least.

Upon entering the apartment she could immediately feel the temperature rise. It was a good feeling, or it was just the fact that it was different from the past year, or however long she was out there in the cold.

She felt as if there was something else she wanted to remember, but right now she just focused on what mattered. Getting into a room.

She looked around before spotting the long reception desk against the right wall. Without much understanding on where to find any room keys, she went behind it and searched through all the drawers.

There was nothing. Nothing besides random documents, which didn’t help a person outside of civilization.

Miku furrowed her brows as she looked around for anywhere else to check. The lobby only had unoccupied seats, dust, and an empty feeling. She could imagine people sitting around talking, and their faces, they were… She couldn’t make them out at the moment, all she could focus on was getting into a room nicely.

As she turned around to lean up against the desk, she noticed an employee’s only door at the corner of the wall behind the desk. And surely they kept the keys for the rooms in there. Right? That’d just make sense, there was no better spot.

Miku pushed off of the desk and walked towards the door, her hopeful expectation clear on her face. She grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, or at least tried. The knob only jiggled in response to the motion. And Miku responded back by trying again with more force. The only new result was more noise.

Miku let go and clenched her fists, glaring at the doorknob. But that only did so much to further her goal. The only thing she could really do now was try doors. Which sounded like a great experience, truly unforgettable.

She walked towards the hallway with the elevator. Staring down at the call button, before disappointedly turning around to take the stairs. All that mattered anymore was getting to a room, even if it took what was left inside of her. After all, she avoided eating anything living for the past year-or-so. So she only had so much stamina before she would go hungry.

ー

Miku was tracing the last hallway on the top of the building. She could feel her body slow, but at least her clothes were mostly dry now. And she was finally near the end, and closer to the likely realization that she would have to break into one of the rooms. Didn’t stop her from hoping, a trait she kept from before everything. In fact, she held on so tightly to what she was. Or at least what she remembered herself as.

She twisted the knob of yet another door, having already anticipated the sudden stop from the lock. It didn’t even disappoint her anymore. At least the apartments were safe to live in, right? So that was nice… Not helpful to her, but helpful to any future residents.

As she walked to the other side of the hall to try the opposing door, she noticed a new sight from the corner of her eye. Her hand hovered above the doorknob as she turned her head to see a shape on the floor at the end of the hallway.

She dropped her hand as she walked towards it. A hopeful glimmer returning to her eye. The fact that there was something out of place, could it be a key? Could it please be a key?

. . .

It was a piece of cloth.

Miku stared down at it, not sure how to react to her shattered expectations. It was her fault for hoping it was a key, or at least something helpful.

She sighed and crossed her arms and turned to look down the hallway she walked down. It hurt her head to think about how long she had really taken trying all of these doors. Then she realized that she didn’t remember which door she was at before coming over here.

She face-palmed, moving her hand to cover her eyes. She could just try the doors from this side and work back to where she knew she had checked. But this was so mind-numbingly boring. Checking doors again and again.

And yet, she felt like she had to get into one of these rooms.

She dropped her hand and turned to the door the cloth was in front of. And it was cracked open already. The light from the hallway shining onto the door in the apartment’s hallway.

Miku slowly snapped herself out from the daze she was in. Slowly moving her hand to push the door further until it was gently stopped by the wall. And she could see the lightswitch against the inside hallway.

“Anyone there?” Miku called out, if this door was open then it could be occupied.

. . .

“Reassuring…” Miku nervously murmured as she walked into the apartment and flicked on the lightswitch.

Immediately she could see the interior of the apartment. The left of the hallway opened up to a living room area, with a kitchen behind it. The right of the hallway continued the length of the living room before opening to the right, however it had two doors on it.

Miku opened the door on the left side, which was a washer and dryer stacked on top of each other. Then she opened the first door on the right, which was just an empty square room. It was somewhat spacious, probably fit for an office space or something of the sort. The second door opened to a bathroom with a shower/bath to the side. It was simplistic, but pleasant in that way.

Honestly, just seeing clean rooms was a nice sight. It had been so long since Miku found an untouched room. Let alone one that wasn’t locked up. However, the lack of anything decor-wise was boring. Not like the little room Miku had set up at the clothing store. She had merchandise of herself and friends. It was quite colorful, unlike this.

With the original reason for her being to find a mirror, she didn’t waste time exploring the rest of the apartment. She stepped into the bathroom, found and flicked the lightswitch, and walked to the mirror above the sink to look at herself. Her red eyes scanning the image in front of her.

Her skin above her nose was a darker color above the stitch line. The pink lines connecting the pale and slightly green skin paired nicely color-wise. And her skin still looked normal besides its differing colors and stitches. At least it wasn’t rotting like the other zombies. And her hair was the same tealish color, but the tips were now pink, as if they were dip dyed. Her pigtails were shorter now, but that was for convenience. Having long pigtails wasn’t worth it in the quarantine, especially since the zombies couldn’t even appreciate it.

And then there was the whole mushroom crown thing.They were just on her head and stuck out of her hair in a ring shape. They were red-to-pink, and still confusing to her. She didn’t even understand what they were there for. All that made sense was that it was the giant mushroom on the building that infected people with spores, and that they came from that. But these mushrooms only seemed to be an accessory that Miku couldn’t get rid of.

Her graphic crop top was still faintly damp, causing it to stick to her skin. However, the pink on the short sleeves matched her pink hair tips, and the color around the zombie heart on the front matched the lighter parts of her skin. It was a cute outfit, but if she understood that it was raining and there were soldiers patrolling tonight she definitely wouldn’t have picked to wear this.

After looking at her immediate appearance, she pulled the thread out of her pocket to put on the rim of the sink. Careful to avoid poking herself with the needle that was tightly tied to the spool with the remaining thread. Then she took off her wet crop top and skirt, putting them on the side rims of the sink to help them dry further. Then she stepped back until she could see most of her body in the mirror. Raising her arms and rotating as she kept her eyes on the mirror.

This was a part of a routine to make sure she didn’t let herself bleed out. Blood didn’t seem to clot like it used to. It wasn’t like hemophilia, but it definitely wasn’t like a normal person. And because injuries were harder to feel, the only way to truly make sure she wasn’t cut was to check herself. And if she was, stitch herself up. Normally honey was involved in the process because it just, sorta helped. Somehow it would numb the sharp needle feeling, which was the only feeling besides major injuries that was very noticeable to Miku.

The amount of stitches in Miku’s body helped to show how uncomfortable the quarantine was. And the way the skin was a different shade across each stitch line, it looked like some weird art.

But at least tonight there wasn’t anything to worry about. She was fine. Her body was faintly aching, but that was just from all of the activity today. It’d go away. Probably.

She lowered her arms and walked back to the sink, moving to pick back up her clothes before stopping and looking over at the shower. Yet another wish in her mind, one that was once again reaching too far from realism.

“If there’s power,” She spoke softly as she moved and reached to turn the lever in the shower, “Then there’s water,” She smiled as water did start shooting out of the shower head.

She put her hand under the stream, which was cold, but she had already bathed in cold water. Although, this water was clean, or it at least looked like it was.

She briefly giggled, “What a stupid thing to say.”

It reminded her of someone.

ー

As Miku exited the bathroom with no dirt on her skin, she walked down the hallway to check out the rest of the apartment. She had already seen the living room and kitchen, but she didn’t see the room that was at the end of the hallway. It wasn’t separate from the kitchen and living room, and it was vacant as the rest of the building. Just a bed in the corner of the apartment, and a large closet that took 4/5ths of the wall opposite of the windows and bed.

Without much else to do, Miku went to the sliding closet door and tried it, unsuccessfully.

“Huh?” Miku furrowed her brows and tried tugging it to the side again.

“Seriously?”

And again…

“Come on!”

And again…

After the fourth time, Miku let go and took a step back. Looking at the sliding door for anything that would stop it from opening. But there was nothing. Meaning that it had to be something inside.

She gave up for the moment, looking at the opposite wall. Looking through the window at the horizon. It was big, and between the bedroom area and the kitchen was a door. Obviously a balcony door. The rain had stopped, so there wouldn’t be much harm in checking it out.

As when she entered, exiting had presented her with a noticeable temperature change. It was nice though, nothing bad.

The balcony was spacious, stretching along the apartment room. A wall on the right where the next room’s balcony would be, and just a railing on the left that connected to the building. Which made sense considering this was the last room on this side.

Miku looked across the horizon. It felt like she could make out a familiar layout of some buildings far off, but she couldn’t remember what they were. The reason she could remember the layout was the view from her old home.

Suddenly, multiple memories came back to Miku. She could remember talking with her friends at her home. And watching the sunset from her own balcony with Teto.

“Teto…” Miku murmured, “Wait a second!” Miku suddenly remembered more. It was her and Teto’s home. They lived together, and they loved each other. They’d watch movies and commonly invite the others in their idol friend groups over for hangouts and parties.

How could she forget for even a moment about her friends? Let alone letting the image of her love slip from her head. It had been a long time without anyone to actually talk to her, but even this was inexcusable. She couldn’t specifically remember what Teto’s touch even felt like anymore.

Miku rested her cheek on her palm and smiled as she reminisced about her past. About every single loved one. Kaito, Meiko, Luka, Rin, Len, Gumi, and Teto. She longed to know how each one of them were doing. To one day see them once more with her eyes, if even just for a fleeting moment. It’d be better than the merch versions of them all, which her quarantine home was filled with.

If only she had her phone and a charger still, then maybe she could’ve plugged it in here and could check on their careers. What was Magical Mirai without Miku now? Was Teto’s idol career as strongly independent as it was after Mezmerizer? So many questions.

And maybe it was too far of a dream, seeing them all again. And yet, that was who Miku was. Hopeful, even when the odds were stacked against her. What harm would it do to wish for these things?

“Oh?” Miku’s eyes opened wider as she saw a light in the sky. It almost looked like it was streaking, like a shooting star. And Miku’s red eyes shone like one when she assumed that. Clasping her hands together, closing her eyes, and looking down.

May I see all of my friends again.

Miku’s body slacked as she looked back up to see it, feeling relieved. Up until she realized that the “Shooting star” was actually a military helicopter. Then she quickly retreated back into the apartment.

She knew tonight couldn’t continue forever for her, it needed to end. But she began to feel comfortably warm inside with all the memories. She walked around the apartment again before returning to the bedroom area. Being left with the only good hiding spots being the closet or under the bed.

“Look at me, a monster hiding in a bedroom.” She smiled as she turned to the jammed closet. If she wanted to be hidden in this apartment building, which currently felt correct to her, the closet would be best.

She gripped the inverted handle of the closet and used her full strength to get the closet to open slightly. At the sight that it was possible to open this stubborn door, Miku grabbed the end of the door and pulled it until it stopped. Which wasn’t too much further. This wide closet was hardly opened compared to what it should be, but it was enough for Miku to squeeze through.

Surprisingly, the closet door was easy to close. And it was spacious enough for Miku’s shoulders to only lightly brush up against the door and wall.

She moved to the far side of the closet, sitting down against the side wall. Hugging her knees against her chest and resting her cheek on her upper arm with a hopeful smile.

“To the future.” She softly said before closing her eyes and letting go of her worries in favor of her fond memories.

Chapter Text

ーテトー

The scent of eggs wafted out from the kitchen into the rest of the simple house. Some simple tamagoyaki plated on two separate dishes. The sun’s early rays were shining into the house through the windows, and Gumi stood in the middle of the kitchen with her hands on her hips. Looking towards the hallway with an in-thought expression.

The TV played in the living room between the kitchen and hallway to the rooms. Deco News playing on it, but Gumi wasn’t paying much attention to it. Today was a big day, it was the day Teto moved out. After three years, it would finally be time for Teto to go back to solo living, and Gumi for that matter.

Is she even awake? I thought we were leaving before 10 because of the drive.

But honestly, Teto was sometimes not what people expected of her. And if she was acting unexpected again, then that’d mean she really had healed from losing her girlfriend. Nothing would be more reassuring to Gumi and the other idols than Teto completely returning to normal. She had already recovered a noticeable amount the past two years. Even if she gave up on her idol career.

I should go check on her, don’t want breakfast to go cold.

Gumi walked across the house and to what once was a guest room and would become a guest room once more. Though, it wasn’t like Teto was a bad roommate. She was quite respectful of spaces that weren’t her room. Which had been cleared and cleaned over the past few days.

“Teto, you u-” Gumi froze at the sight of Teto laid down on the bed staring straight up at the ceiling, with the bedroom lights still on.

“Yeah…” Teto weakly replied.

“Did you even get any sleep?” Gumi felt dumbfounded at this strange sight.

“I got some.” She spoke slightly louder, her staring contest with the ceiling of her room unbroken.

“Well,” Gumi looked around the clean room, then at the bags laid by the bed, “I’d like to be on schedule. So if you could get up and eat breakfast, I’d greatly appreciate that.” She almost felt a little bad for saying that. But she did want to get back home in time to properly sleep before tomorrow’s shoot.

Teto nodded and quickly sat up on the bed. Gumi smiled at the fact that Teto was at least up and about, but still quite confused as to what possessed Teto to sleep with the lights on, on no sheets, and on her back for once.

As Gumi walked back to the kitchen, Teto rubbed her eyes. She had been awake for at least an hour, and then it took her way too long to fall asleep in the first place. Today was indeed a big day, but Teto couldn’t understand whether she was excited, scared, or uncomfortable with it. Not like her dream had helped her feel reassured or okay.

For the hours that Teto was asleep, she had a nightmare that she hadn’t had since she originally moved in with Gumi. Though, it was more of a memory than a nightmare, but it was unwanted and happened while she was dreaming. Calling it a nightmare would just be easier, brushing things off was a genius strategy.

All she could do was hope that living alone, for essentially the first time, wouldn’t be so unenjoyable. Hopefully it’d be nice, freeing even. She should be excited. She was!

. . .  Yeah… psyching myself up like that isn’t gonna work.

Teto stretched her arms above herself and bent back, hearing a few pops in her body. Committing to no longer resting up.

Teto scooted to the edge and got off the mattress. She took another look at the room, even though she saw enough of it last night. It really was the end of an era. And now, she couldn’t even come up with an idea of what this next era would entail. And not in a hopeful way of “anything can happen”, but in a, “what possibly could happen” way?

Teto walked out of her room into the hallway. She could see Gumi at the kitchen counter eating breakfast. Another plate in front of her. The sound of the news broadcast was faint from her room, but as she walked towards the kitchen it got much louder.

“As of yesterday, the Shibuya area has reopened to the public after a three year long quarantine. Authorities have informed us of the virus, but luckily it has been completely removed from the face of the earth.”

Teto stood on the other side of the counter and ate the tamagoyaki Gumi made for her. This recipe has received many adjustments over the past couple years. Mainly because it was inedible the first few times Gumi made it. She was trying to go for a specific taste, and through trial and error it was finally “mostly” achieved.

“This also means the reopening of notable areas, such as Harajuku.”

“You really chose to move to Harajuku?” Gumi asked, glancing back to her food from the news broadcast.

“I mean,” Teto looked up at Gumi, “ I want to be kinda close to where I used to live. But I also want to not wake up and immediately think about what my life used to be. It’d feel wrong.” Teto replied, looking back down at her food.

Gumi nodded, she understood pretty well that Teto didn’t want to constantly think about her life with Miku while just trying to live on. But, the two did frequent Harajuku for the fashion and aesthetic there. Then again, frequenting is different from living.

“While this is great news, this marks the third year of the disappearance of the world-renowned idol who lived in Shibuya, Hatsune Miku-”

“I’m just going to turn this off.” Teto forced out a laugh to not make Gumi feel any worry for her, but it sounded awkward and didn’t reassure Gumi much.

Teto walked over to the living room and looked at the chairs, the couch, and then the tables for the remote.

“Tomorrow, we’ll have members of the Crypton idol group on to talk about how the talents are feeling, and if this means anything for their futures, or the company’s itself.”

“Uhh… Gumi, where’s the remote at?” Teto nervously asked as the broadcast continued.

“I had it on the couch, maybe it’s in between the cushions?” Gumi said as she walked from the kitchen to the living room to quickly find it.

“We still haven’t received any comments from Hatsune’s partner, and ex-idol, Kasa-”

Teto hit the button on the tv to force it to power down. Her breathing was slightly heavier, and she could feel some emotions almost boil over. She looked over at Gumi, who had such a sweet and caring expression, before straightening up and looking to the side.

“Sorry,” She scratched the back of her neck, “I just… Don’t really think I’m,” She couldn’t say that, ‘she isn’t ready to talk about it’ or else concern for her would only return. Teto paused as she thought a little longer on what to say, “I’m just not wanting to hear anything like that right now. I just woke up.”

Gumi nodded and smiled, “Yeah, I understand. Let’s just finish breakfast, and then we can get going.”

Teto felt her lips curl upwards a bit, Gumi was good at reassuring her without making it feel like pity. Both of them walked back to the counter to eat breakfast.

The absence of the TV did cause silence to fill the room. And considering why the silence was there only made it feel more awkward. Gumi occasionally glanced at Teto to see if she looked like she had anything to immediately say, but Teto only looked at the plate.

Once Gumi accepted the fact that the rest of breakfast would be silent, Teto spoke back up.

“You know Gumi, I don’t need you to help me unpack my stuff. You can just drop me off.” Teto spoke in a light-hearted and almost joking tone, something she learned from Miku when they got back to being friends in their last year of high school.

“So independent,” Gumi joked with a similar tone to Teto’s, “But we’re friends. You’ve been my housemate for so long. Couldn’t hurt to lend a hand.”

“Eh… No pushing you out of this, is there?”

“I mean I guess if you really wanted.” Gumi continued in the same joking tone.

“Nah, too much work.” Teto smiled before finishing the last bite of her tamagoyaki, “I’ll go double check all of my stuff and get ready.”

Gumi nodded as she finished her’s aswell, grabbing both dishes and bringing them to the sink. She was already prepared to go - probably check out a few stores if they were already open after the whole quarantine thing.

－

“There… Okay. Looks like I have everything.” Teto spoke to herself as she looked at the bags that were piled on top of each other by the bed. This was really happening, she was going to live on her ow- “Huh?”

Teto noticed a fabric black strap under the bed. There was a blue foam handle with pink thread. Such familiar colors…

Teto gently grasped the handle and pulled out a duffel bag with the same black, blue, and pink color scheme. A bright laminated  ‘01’ on the middle of both wide sides. Teto sat down and brought the bag onto her lap. Her hand tenderly wiping off the little dust that collected on the number.

She could remember the feeling of frantically grabbing things she thought were important to them. A new outfit they bought, those two stupid plushies of them, her laptop, everything that Teto could remember the other wanted or used. All while yelling at him over the phone, begging for a specific answer. One that wouldn’t hurt her to the point of breaking. One that she wouldn’t deny the validity of. One that meant she wouldn’t lose what mattered most to her.

“Teto, are you okay in the-.” Gumi stopped at the doorway to look at the sight of Teto holding the duffel bag so closely and tightly.

Teto snapped out of her spiral and loosened her grip on the bag so that she could bring her sleeve up to her eyes, her body still facing away from Gumi.

“One second!” Her voice cracked, “I’ll be right out.”

Gumi nodded and moved back into the hallway. She knew that Teto didn’t want to talk about Miku this morning. And so she wouldn’t even pick up the topic with her. This day would be a happy one. And so she wouldn’t bring up any tough topics unless it was impossible to ignore.

After a moment’s wait, Teto leaned her upper half out of the door to look at Gumi.

“Okay, I’m ready. Just let me put my stuff in the car.” Teto smiled at an attempt to reassure Gumi in case she heard the crying. Just thank god Gumi didn’t see her crying.

Gumi would let her believe that, at least for the moment.

“Mhm, I’ll help.” Gumi smiled and moved past Teto to get to the bags.

“Oh- uh yeah.” Teto moved out of the doorway so Gumi could move without obstruction.

Once Gumi grabbed one of the bags, Teto did the same and followed her to the car. Putting them on the back seats. Eventually stacking them to fill the seats completely.

ー

Teto rubbed her arms, feeling cold as it was November. She walked back towards the house to grab her one jacket that she didn’t pack up and left on the coat rack. Hell, the girl didn’t even put on her shoes.

As she reached up for the collar of the slim jacket, Gumi came out of the hallway with the special bag. Teto immediately retracted her hand from the jacket and moved in front of Gumi.

“Here! I’ll take care of that.” Teto nervously laughed as she took the bag as Gumi released it to her.

Gumi watched in silence as Teto went to the car and very particularly placed the bag on top of the others. As if it was a precious artifact that could shatter. But to be fair, it was the bag she packed for Miku. It’d make sense that she’d be so careful about it.

Gumi smiled softly at the care Teto still showed for Miku’s possessions. She was also glad Teto was taking it with her, because Gumi didn’t see this as Teto not being able to let go of things. She saw it more as Teto honoring her past with Miku. After all, it was only this morning that Teto seemed to be sensitive about Miku. And it made sense to Gumi considering the circumstances of moving and finally living alone.

She unhooked the jacket from the coat hanger and picked up Teto’s shoes before following her to the car.

Teto closed the door and turned to walk back to the house before noticing Gumi right in front of her with the things she needed.

“Here”

“Ah, thanks.”

Once Teto took the items back, Gumi went back to the house to lock it. Once she turned back to face the car, Teto had already entered and sat in the driver’s seat.

“This’ll be my last time in this car for who knows how long! I’ll drive!” Teto yelled through the rolled down window, mainly doing this to prove to Gumi that this morning was just a hiccup and that she was fine.

Gumi let out a short laugh before walking up to the passenger’s side and getting in.

“Pretty ceremonial for a car.” Gumi commented as Teto started the car.

“I had to do a bunch of studying to get this license, I’m gonna use it while I still can.” Teto smiled as she started to drive towards Harajuku, “After this, it’s back to taking trains and walking.”

ー

“. . .”

“. . .”

“I swear I’ve seen train carriages less packed than this road.” Teto grumbled, tightening her grip on the steering wheel.

“Yeah…” Gumi sighed, resting her cheek on her palm, “ You’d think that most people would’ve already settled back into the area yesterday.”

“Well that’s just great…” Teto slumped back into the seat, Gumi watched from the corner of her eye.

. . .

Teto’s grip on the steering wheel tightened once again as a thought crossed her mind. She sighed hopelessly, let go of the steering wheel, and slumped completely into the chair.

“Yeah?” Gumi raised an eyebrow.

“We didn’t get anything from the convenience store on the way here…”

“Shoot!” Gumi sat up, “I’m sorry, I forgot to remind you about that.”

Teto raised a hand to pinch the bride of her nose, “No, I should’ve remembered… Ugh, stores here will probably be sold out of everything.”

“Yeah,” Gumi rested her cheek back against her palm, before sitting back up again and looking at Teto, “Actually, there’s a good chance they stocked up on everything for profit.”

Teto turned to face Gumi with a tired, yet somewhat hopeful look, “You mean it?”

“I mean, it’d make sense.” Gumi sheepishly smiled.

“Hm…” Teto turned to look back at the traffic, where a car had finally moved about one space forward. Something about that just really irked her.

“Y’know what?” Teto started, “I think I’ll just walk the rest of the way.”

“What?” Gumi looked at Teto’s slightly annoyed but not joking expression, “Like, just get out here?”

“Yeah. Would you mind driving the rest of the way?” Even Teto understood that the atmosphere in this car was getting stiff. Not like they could really listen to music with how she was currently feeling, and Gumi probably had calls she could take or something.

“I-” Gumi paused before asking, “Are you sure?”

Teto internally breathed out a sigh of relief at Gumi not being irritated by the idea. Thank god she lived with her and not Neru. Though, it wasn't like Teto had that option.

“If you don’t mind, I just think it might be for the best. I need to stretch my legs a bit.” Teto’s eyes avoided Gumi’s at that last part. Because both of them knew that Teto never said that, and she honestly felt a little stupid over it.

“I mean, alright.” Gumi didn’t really know how else to reply.

“Thanks Gumi!”

Teto immediately opened the door of the car and got out. Gumi doing the same on her side, but more conscious of the very close cars. Teto moved between the adjacent lane’s cars to get to the sidewalk.

“Ehe, sorry!” Gumi loudly apologized to the other drivers as she quickly made her way around her car to get in the driver’s seat.

ー

The streets in Shibuya really were heavily occupied. Any street corner that led in the direction of an apartment building or hotel had the worst of it. Teto couldn’t be more content with the decision to get out of the car and start walking, otherwise it’d be forever until they could get to the apartment building. Assuming they could even find a spot to park. Though, just because the streets were occupied didn’t mean the sidewalk was great either.

It was littered with people carrying large bags or boxes. It was hard to see forward with the tall people blocking the view. Teto had to rely on her phone, landmarks, and sense of direction to get anywhere. It didn't help that she didn’t really remember this specific part of Harajuku.

At least the crowds of preoccupied people did good to keep her from being noticed. People were overly interested in Teto since she left the idol world. A good amount of the interest was due to the lack of public statements from both herself and the other idols she worked with surrounding her retirement.

The isolation period, which was about the first year after the incident, helped her to avoid blowing up at random people who wanted to know everything. She recognized that if she were to do anything of the sort, it might shatter her reputation. Not that it mattered as much as it would’ve if she stayed an idol, but you didn’t want to become a widely recognized unlikable person.

After that period of time, Teto would just avoid saying anything in relation to her retirement. She wouldn’t be in the mood to take photos with most fans, not unless they really spoke to her. Which meant that when a kid came up to see what was left of The Kasane Teto, she’d be happy to have the parents take a photo of them. And if the kid ever asked what happened to her idol career, or when the next song was, she’d always reply with something along the lines of, “It didn’t work out correctly.” or “There won’t be a next one, but Gumi has some pretty good songs!”

After all, Gumi was so accommodating. Why not steer her own fans over to her as thanks?

Still, it didn’t make saying any of those words less painful.

Teto loved her idol life, but it wouldn’t be the same anymore. Not without the person that really got her where she was. In a universe where she still was here, then maybe it wouldn’t be like this.

“Should be just around here…” Teto spoke to herself as she reached a street corner. Looking up at the building before recognizing the look from the internet.

It looked ever so slightly different than in the images. But, the images were pre-quarantine, so it made sense that it’d look different. There was even a small black box on the side of the door that wasn’t in the photos. She could tell it was a card scanner, which was reassuring that this building was finally getting up to date with security tech.

After slipping out of the endless parade of people, she pushed open the door to reveal the lobby. And it was pretty occupied by the elevators and seating, but there was much more room to breathe than outside.

Once she noticed the line of people to her right, she looked past them to see the reception desk. Walking to the back of the line behind a mom and little girl, looking towards the people by the elevators as she got closer to the front of the line.

“Wow…” She put her hand on her hip, “Do none of these people even think about using the stairs?” She murmured, which seemed to catch the attention of the little girl in front of her. Teto watched the girl turn to face her from the corner of her eye, putting her arm back at her side and turning her head back to face her curiously.

It had been a little while since Teto saw anyone look up at her with that admiration. She had been so occupied with all the legal things for her residency that she hadn’t even been around too many people. There was surface-level satisfaction at seeing that star-struck expression, but Teto failed to feel the satisfaction she used to.

“Hm?” The mother looked down at her daughter and very quickly turned to the person she was staring at, “Ah, sorry! She’s just youn-”

Teto met the mother’s gaze as the moderately older woman froze. Teto could feel her features being analyzed, and she immediately knew what this interaction was going to be.

“Excuse me, but are you Kasane Teto?” She nervously asked, embarrassed by her child, but also now aware as to why her daughter was staring so intently.

“Yeah, that’d be me.” Teto softly replied. She could feel her past-self confidently and brightly point at herself with her thumb and enthusiastically reply, but that wasn’t who she was anymore. She didn’t even wear her hair up in those twin-drills.

“Oh, well my daughter really loved that one song with the restaurant." She gently spoke, and the reason for the gentleness was quite clear to Teto.

“Obsolete Meat?” Teto asked, to which the mother just nodded.

Teto, for the most part, disguised her sudden wave of nausea. That was one of the songs she worked alongside with Miku after her own sudden fame from Mezmerizer. The composer was the same person too, so it was quite a memorable shoot. One of the first somewhat big songs she had as a person that was finally being accepted as part of the Idol world Crypton seemed to cultivate. People had even mistaken her for being on the Crypton idol group because of it, and there wasn’t a better feeling than reaching the visible top of her ambition.

“Oh? I loved that one too.” Teto replied with fake enthusiasm. She wasn’t lying, but still, she wasn’t doing good with any memories today.

“You were so cool…” The girl breathily spoke, still taken aback by seeing an Idol.

“Yeah, she watched the video again and again.” The mom replied, getting visibly nervous and glancing at the one person in front of them talking to the receptionist. She turned back to face Teto and asked in a rushed manner, “Could I get a photo of you two?”

“Uhm,” She didn’t know why she was hesitating, she never said no to kids, “Yeah, sure!” Her lessening enthusiasm and growing thoughtfulness was becoming apparent to the mom, but the girl was luckily oblivious.

The mom nudged her daughter towards Teto as she brought out her phone. Teto was now crouched to accommodate the girl’s shortness. The girl turned her body to face her mom, but glanced back with the never-disappearing amazement at Teto before finally looking at the phone camera.

“Say cheese!” Teto said in a flat, accidental mockery of her old-self. They always suggested she said it so that the fans heard more of her voice.

“Cheese!” The child enthusiastically beamed, accompanied by Teto.

The mom snapped a few photos before glancing behind herself at the still-occupied receptionist. Teto could now clearly see that she was trying to stall until their turn, and she didn’t understand why at the very second. Not until the girl turned back around.

“Where is Miku?”

. . .

The nausea that had just started to disappear only returned stronger. She didn’t respond to that question, she just froze. Her eyes glazed over the girl’s features as that name just repeated itself in her head. Hearing that name on the news earlier today was already jarring, but being expected to talk about it, not even to someone close to her but a stranger. She avoided this. Every time it happened to her, a friend like Gumi would bail her out of it.

Except, that was for questions about how she felt without Miku. This girl was asking how a person, who had been long accepted by the world to be dead, was doing. To a person who was so extremely close and connected with them too.

Teto didn’t really hear the mom speak to her daughter to come back, as the receptionist could finally handle them. Teto felt bad for not replying to the girl, she didn’t mean any harm. However, that didn’t stop Teto’s feelings from being stomped by memories of absence.

She slowly stood back up, now blankly staring at the tiled floor. This was one of the last spots she’d want to have a reaction, anywhere in public was an immediate no-go. So she pressed her nails into her palms to ground herself. Looking back up at the mom and daughter ahead of her. The girl was holding her mother’s hand, but she stared back at Teto with an apologetic expression without truly knowing why she felt sorry.

It wasn’t too long before Teto finally watched the two go towards the elevators, and was at the receptionist’s desk herself.

“Are you here to claim your keycard?”

“Ah, yeah.” Teto confirmed as she brought her Individual Number Card out of her pocket to prove her identity, as suggested by the website.

The receptionist took the card, reviewed it, checked the system, and then handed it back to Teto along with a keycard.

“Do you know where your room is?”

“Yes, top floor.”

“Alright then, have a good day.”

“Thanks, you too.” Teto nodded as she walked over to the packed elevator area.

She had already decided on what she was going to do. It wasn’t going to be fun, but she sure didn’t want to wait for her turn to get on the elevator. Nothing wrong with some exercise.

ー

Luckily, the apartment building was only six stories, so it didn’t take too much out of Teto to walk the stairs. And there were a few other people walking ahead of her who also seemed to dislike the line to the elevator.

As she opened the door to the sixth floor, she was greeted by a refreshingly empty hallway. Not filled to the brim like outside, nor sparsely populated like the stairs, but just a nice, large, and empty space. It wasn’t like Teto’d be out in the hallway for long, but she could still appreciate the serenity as she walked towards the right end of the hall.

At the end of the hallway on the right side was the door to her new home. It was a nice apartment building, and the wider than average hallway reinforced that fact. Those funds from her past were the only reason that she could get this place without any financial stress. She understood that sooner or later she’d need to get a job, and it wasn’t that she was lazy and didn’t want to get one. She just wanted to wait until she was out of Gumi’s home and fully settled into her own.

As Teto reached the door, she took out the keycard and tapped it on the sensor that was on the lower base of the handle. An indistinct click came immediately before Teto grabbed the handle and opened the door.

It was just as she had seen, a hallway with an empty room and bathroom on the right before opening to a bedroom area. A living room where the left hallway wall ended, and a kitchen in the corner behind it. A balcony door and open space between the bedroom and kitchen island.

It was nice and rather roomy unlike other apartments she looked at before truly understanding her budget.  Not to mention the already present furnishings such as the couch, coffee table, and TV. The building already put a mattress in place on the bed, no sheets though because that’d be more hotel-like than apartment building.

As she walked into the apartment she slowly spun around to see everything. Yes she had already seen it online, but seeing it in person was the true experience. The living room felt short with its furniture in comparison to the taller kitchen island behind it, but it for some reason felt more cozy that way.

As Teto went over to sit on the couch, she overestimated its height and rather than sitting on it comfortably and normally, instead fell and hit the back of her head on the couch back. Her legs hitting the low coffee table bottom before unconventionally sprawling out under it.

Teto groaned as her body slid down the couch and was in between sitting down on the floor and sliding back onto the couch cushions in a perfectly uncomfortable position.

“Ugh…” She groaned as she grabbed the edges of the cushions and moved to lay down across the couch. Her head laying against the arm rest, which wasn’t the most comfortable thing, but at least it wouldn’t cramp her neck laying on it that way.

After giving herself a moment of silence and peace, Teto felt around her pant’s pocket before pulling out her phone and opening her contacts list. At the top of it was Gumi, which only made sense, and was perfect as Teto was going to call her.

“Hello, I’m sorry but I cannot answer your call at the moment. Leave a message, and if I don’t call you back, then call me back later.”

“Huh…” Teto looked at the screen as it allowed her to record a message. She hung up and set her phone down before sitting up on the couch normally. Her legs at a diagonal angle as the couch was shorter than she remembered any couch being or the one in the photo.

Maybe if she got enough sleep last night the newly-sore feeling on the back of her head and shins could’ve been avoided as she would’ve noticed the height of it. Though she couldn't blame herself for last night’s unrest, that dream was far from her top pick. Still though, Gumi’s phone immediately sending Teto to voicemail was strange. It wasn’t like cell service was unavailable in Shibuya, or, actually maybe it was. Teto didn’t check any information like that before today, and probably wouldn’t.

With all of the traffic out there, it’d be a while before Gumi would make it to the apartment. And it wasn’t like Teto could imagine herself going back out there into the streets, trying to find Gumi’s car, and then get back in. Not to mention, she hardly got much sleep last night and there wasn’t much unpacking to do here without any of her belongings. So maybe it’d be okay to just rest a little. She felt slight guilt at the idea because it felt selfish, but it’s all she could imagine doing as she closed her eyes.

ー

Teto’s phone started to shake right next to her on the couch, letting out a rather generic ringtone as it caused her to stir awake. She slowly opened her eyes to look at the ceiling before realizing that she was waking up to a phone call and not an alarm. Both of them sharing the same sound did not help her learn to differentiate them at all.

She picked up the phone and raised it in front of her groggy face, her eyes focusing on the screen before noticing that it was Gumi calling. As if cold water was splashed onto Teto’s face she quickly woke up and accepted the call. Gumi wouldn’t know that Teto was sleeping, but she still felt like she was caught and in trouble.

“Um, hey Gumi!” She replied, trying to force her voice to not hint at her nap.

“Hey, I finally reached the apartment. Could you come down and help me with everything?” Gumi asked politely. Teto was used to these moments where she learned how much of an angel Gumi was for her, but it didn’t stop each one of those moments from surprising her.

“Oh, yeah. One second, I’ll be right there.” Teto replied as she quickly scrambled off the couch and adjusted her hair while she moved to the door.

“Alright then! See you in a second.”

Then Gumi hung up.

Teto always wondered why Gumi was always so nice to her during the whole three years she stayed with her. Roommates were supposed to get into arguments normally and get angry at each other for at least a few days. And yet that rarely happened with Gumi. Even after the first year of Teto going through her grief, Gumi was still so kind to her as if Teto had lost everything more recently.

She couldn’t wrap her mind around it, but all that mattered at the moment was going down stairs to grab her bags and bring them up to the apartment.

ー

As Teto walked into the lobby area she immediately found Gumi with her phone held next to her ear. As she approached Gumi, she patiently stood and waited for the phone call to end. Once Gumi looked at Teto, she said a few more words on the phone before hanging up and putting it into her pocket.

“Traffic got pretty good a little after you left.” Gumi said as she clasped her hands behind herself and smiled.

“Really? Wow, maybe I’m just having a bad luck day.” Teto chuckled.

“You think so?” Gumi asked as she started to walk outside the building towards her car with Teto following shortly behind.

“Oh yeah, I mean I got little sleep today, and when I got into my apartment I hit my head and probably bruised my shins.”

“Only two bad things?” Gumi playfully smirked at Teto as she unlocked the car and reached to grab the bags. Handing two to Teto and carrying two herself as she closed the door and started back towards the apartment, “Is that enough to constitute bad luck?”

“Well,” Teto shrugged off her reservations about sharing more, “A little girl recognized me today.”

Gumi’s smile turned to slight concern, her tone becoming more gentle and curious, “And how did that go?”

“Ah, well it went fine.” Teto responded unconfidently, “She asked me about Miku. I guess her mom didn’t tell her about what happened.” It felt easier to speak about Miku after getting proper sleep. Maybe that’s why today Teto had a more difficult time talking about her, she was just tired.

“Oh.” Gumi impulsively reacted as she hit the elevator call button.

“Come on Gumi!” Teto gently hit one of the bags Gumi was carrying with one of her own, “You don’t need to be so worried. It’s been three years, I’m good now. And if I’m not, it isn’t your responsibility.”

“I know I know…” Gumi sighed and returned her smile, “I just really care about you, y’know? I can’t help knowing some of your pain and not doing nothing.” She softly chuckled.

“We were all hurt Gumi, if anything I should be doing some nice stuff for you too.” Teto playfully replied.

“Oh?” Gumi mirrored Teto’s demeanor as they entered the finally empty elevator, “Then maybe you could pay for the cost of coming here and the groceries.”

“Well yea-” Teto froze and turned to fully face Gumi, “Groceries?”

“Oh yeah, I bought some basic stuff. Milk, those noodles you started eating recently, and a baguette or two.”

“Gumi, I think I love you.”

Both of them laughed as the elevator door opened. Walking towards the apartment and ready to start the cycle of going up and down until they fully unloaded everything.

ー

The time was nearing 6 PM, and everything was finally unloaded into the apartment. Gumi was putting groceries into the fridge, an unloaded bag of cutlery and dishes on the kitchen island. Teto finally finished unloading the bathroom items.

As she exited the bathroom she looked at Gumi who closed the fridge and met her gaze. Gumi smiled politely as Teto smiled back gratefully.

“You really do just love helping me, huh?” Teto said as she moved to lean against the kitchen island across from Gumi.

“You’re moving out, am I not allowed to end our relationship as roommates on the best note?” Gumi leaned against the counter as she bantered.

“You are. But I’m just saying that if I lived with Neru instead, she would’ve just tossed my stuff onto the sidewalk and told me, ‘good luck’ before driving off.”

Gumi loudly laughed at that, which might’ve meant exhaustion was getting to her. “Well, then it’s for the best that you got stuck with me.”

Before Teto could respond, Gumi’s phone beeped. Because it was lying down on the island, Teto could clearly read a text message notification from ‘Rin’ on the screen. Gumi sighed and picked up the phone, looking at the message.

“I really should get going.” Gumi admitted with some reluctance as she did somewhat want to make sure Teto settled into the apartment well.

“Oh yeah, you have that shoot tomorrow huh?” Teto had felt her expression also dull slightly at the message, but it wasn’t just because it meant Gumi had to go.

“Yeah, and Rin really wants me to get a good amount of sleep.” Gumi looked back up at Teto, and walked around the island to her.

“God aren’t you two just cute?” Teto teased as she hugged Gumi, who hugged her back.

“Okay, settle in. And if you need to talk for any reason just call me.”

“... Are you going to cry?” Teto smirked.

“What? No?” Gumi pulled away with a wide smile, giggling.

“Okay, good. Because I wasn’t going to either.” Teto wiped off her faux tears with her sleeve, letting go of Gumi.

“Alright, well. Talk to you later, Teto.” Gumi lightly patted Teto’s shoulder.

“Yep, don’t go and get too lonely without me.” Teto cheekily replied as Gumi walked to the door.

“That goes both ways.” Gumi turned and pointed a finger at Teto before leaving the apartment and closing the door behind her.

And then it was quiet.

Teto didn’t move and just continued watching the door. Because it was finally sinking in. The fact that she truly was on her own now. She could remember that brief period where she was going to have her own apartment, just to be invited to move in with Miku. So truly this was the first time she’d live alone.

No one to talk to.

No one to consider when doing things around the house.

Just herself, without any sound to fill her life.

She looked down at her feet as her mind tried to manage her thoughts and feelings. Her expression was blank, she felt unsure. She didn’t know what this meant for her, or how she was supposed to exactly feel about this.

When she originally planned to move out of her parents house, she was excited. She had all of these friends to hang out with and invite over. Even if she lived alone, she could still hang out with them and do her idol work. She didn’t imagine she would be at home so much because of all the stuff she could and was planning on doing.

She didn’t have that luxury here. She didn’t have those friends anymore. She had Gumi and Neru. Gumi lived far away, and she had her own things that made her busy. Teto didn’t want to disturb her in any way, and Gumi had already done so much for her. She didn’t want to invite Gumi to go out of her way and hang out in Shibuya often, nor did she want to go visit Gumi constantly because the two had already lived together for three years.

Neru lived closer, but in all honesty Teto hadn’t talked to her in a while. Since Miku disappeared, the trio they made seemed to weaken significantly. Teto imagined that for some reason, Neru would be difficult to talk to, or that because Teto hadn’t spoken to her in a while there’d be some level of resentment.

Teto looked around the apartment, all she really needed to do at this point was unpack the rest of the kitchen, and then the bedroom. She didn’t know what would come after that, but at this point she needed some sort of objective to keep her going until she could sleep.

She turned back to the kitchen and looked at the bag of dishes for a moment. She was still trying to understand it all, and she could feel herself hesitate to do anything as her mind tried to comprehend what exactly she was feeling. But she needed to do something in the moment.

She walked to the cupboards and began to unload the dishes into it. Although, the mundanity of the task didn’t stop her from trying to understand it all.

She didn’t have Neru and Gumi to hang out with often. That much was apparent to her, but surely she had other people right? She hung out with more people than just them and Miku. She hung out with other idols. The Crypton group.

They… They weren’t an option. Teto’s lips pursed into a thin line as the thought crossed her mind. Yes, they were once friends. But that was because of Miku. If it wasn’t for her, Teto never would have attended those get-togethers and parties. She wouldn’t have been near their statuses, and wouldn’t have even mattered anywhere near the scale they did in the idol world. And she already burnt that bridge. Didn’t she? It wasn’t like she was exactly on a friend-level basis with them anymore.

As Teto reached back into the bag, her hand grasped at nothing. She turned her focus back onto it. She unloaded all of the dishes already. It felt all too quick, but at least she had the cutlery to unload.

But opening a drawer and putting in the utensils wasn’t long enough of a task for her to zone out doing. It was so simple and quick, but apparently not simple enough for her mind to get back to work. And yet, did she even want to confront those feelings? Maybe not knowing how she felt about it was better.

However, she was curious.

And it wasn’t like she would put on any music to remove this silence.

Teto moved to the bedroom. Moving the bags off of the mattress and setting them on the floor. She opened one of them and pulled out pillows and sheets before tossing them unceremoniously onto the ground. She began to dress the bed.

So she didn’t really have friends that she could easily hang out with. That’s fine, some people do really well without being around others. It wasn’t like Teto was a huge extrovert either, she did enjoy the company of many select people. And fan interactions were always fun because they reminded her of the impact she had on others. And the interactions just felt great, taking photos and making someone’s month. But that was when she was an idol.

Right now she was just… Just an ex-celebrity. An idol who was an underdog for so long, who eventually found herself near the heart of the industry. Even if it wasn’t for the longest time, she reached her goal. But now she wasn’t even near her goal. It wasn’t even her goal anymore. Her only ambition was to make it as an idol, and now the idea tasted bitter. So what would her ambitions even be anymore? It wasn’t like she could start over with a clean slate. She’d always be an ex-idol to the world. Her red hair was far from discreet, so she wouldn’t be able to avoid what she was known as.

Teto’s mind had finally unraveled enough of the emotion for Teto to at least see the surface level of it. All of this left her feeling sad. Her life looked like it was just going to be empty now. Kasane Teto was nothing more than a husk of her former self.

. . .

She looked down at the finished bed, her eyes welling up with tears. She didn’t feel like she was going to sob, but she knew she was going to at least shed a few. 

She gave herself a few more seconds to compose herself before wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

She made the bed, and now the apartment was mostly unpacked, although it still felt slightly empty. She attributed that to having just moved in, as her room at Gumi’s also felt empty for a while after she arrived. She wanted  that as the reason it felt empty, not because of the reality of how she perceived her future. It was empty because she just settled in, nothing more or less.

Now the last thing she had to unpack was her clothes. After that she would go to bed, and tomorrow was going to hopefully show her what her life was going to be. Hopefully some new ambitions, or hopes, or at this point anything would come into her life so that tomorrow would allow her to work towards it.

Teto turned around to the closet. It was large, and she wasn’t exactly sure how much of it she would realistically use. However, she just needed to put her clothes in there so she felt like there was nothing to do so her mind could have an easier time resting.

Teto grabbed the handle of the closet and attempted to slide it open. Her expectation of a smooth sliding door met by the reality of a stubborn and stuck closet door.

Teto creased her brows and attempted again to open it with one hand. To which nothing happened except a straining feeling in her arm.

She bit her lip and slipped three fingers from her other hand into the inverted handle and tried again. This time pulling with such force that if the closet were to suddenly open, she’d fall backwards.

After trying this method two times, Teto felt her fingers were in pain, but at least the closet was opened a small amount.

Teto sighed and held her hands together as the slight pain subsided. She peaked into the small opening she made in the closet. The lighting from the ceiling let her see dust particles freely flowing around in the space.

She sighed once more and stepped away from the closet, deciding to let her future self to handle it instead. And as she went to turn around, she tripped over a bag and fell onto the bed.

She let out a groan this time and turned her body so she could sit up on the edge of the bed. She looked down to see the bag that she had tripped over and it was the same one she hadn’t opened in three years. The ‘01’ duffel bag that invoked such an emotional response from her earlier that day.

Teto’s body untensed as she looked down at it for a moment. She didn’t understand what compelled her to pick it up at the moment, but she did. Setting it down next to her on the bed.

The same bag she packed so long ago, and yet she was always too scared to open it. However, right now felt like the best moment if there was any. Maybe it would contain the thing that helped her figure out what she wanted to do.

Teto gingerly pinched the zipper between her thumb and pointer finger and slowly unzipped it. Her eyes meeting the gazes of two plushies that were long-since trapped in the bag. She slowly reached in and took the one with the red hair and twin-drills. She had big eyes and a simple smile on her face.

Teto’s thumb gently ran across the top loop of the twin drill, feeling the soft fabric. It hadn’t been touched in forever, but it was still the same plush.

Teto set it gently against one of the pillows before reaching into the bag and taking out a plush with sea foam green-colored hair. Her eyes were simple ovals, and it had a simple smile and expression. It looked goofy, but so did the other one.

Teto let out a sniffle as she looked at it for a moment longer. Before she brought it to her chest and hugged it tightly. Tighter than she hugged Gumi. Its hair was so soft, and its poofy twin tails fell on both sides of Teto’s lap.

“I’m sorry… I just… I need you to tell me what to do, okay? Just please… I miss you.” Teto mumbled into the plush as she cried.

As Teto eventually raised her head from the plush, a shape in the corner of her eye caught her attention. She saw the shape of fingers with unnatural colors grip the side of the closet door from the inside.

“Huuph!” An exclamation of effort was heard from the closet where the door was wedged open. And a figure fell out of the finally fully opened closet doors.

Teto stared in shock as the figure looked up from the ground and met her own gaze.

“W-What the FU-!”

Chapter Text

As the very uniquely colored figure accidentally fell out of the closet, Teto just stared down at it and took in the strange image in front of her.

Its arms were mostly unhealthily pale until it reached the forearms. There were pink colored stitches that connected a discolored and greenish patch of skin to it, an even darker color next to that one. It wasn’t symmetrical either, the left hand being a light grey green and the right hand being more like a dark grey shade of blue.

As the figure groaned and started to slowly recover up from the ground, it revealed the same  stitched pattern across the rest of its body. And as if a small child seeing the boogeyman, Teto was unable to move herself. Though, the feeling of fear was starting to fuse with her new and extreme confusion.

“W-What the-” Teto was ready to scream the last word as loudly as possible to get attention brought to her apartment and give her a better chance to escape, but then she met the figure’s eyes. She expected them to be something scary, like dark and emitting a feeling that’d intimidate her, but they almost seemed to glow.

“Huh? Who?” A higher pitched voice came from the thing. One that was way too familiar, and that brought Teto’s panic back in full force before it was even able to fade.

In an impulsive attempt to be the final girl in a non-horror movie, Teto tossed the Miku plush behind her on the bed and grabbed the straps of the duffel bag.

“W-Wait!” The figure very nervously shouted and raised their hands before being hit in the face with the bag. Falling onto the ground and hitting their head against the wall right next to the closet.

“Oh my god, oh my god-” Teto haphazardly got up from the bed and started running towards the door.

As she neared the hallway, a cold hand tightly grabbed her ankle, tripping her. Teto instinctively put her arms in front of her face to avoid breaking her nose in the scuffle.

Teto’s heart was beating heavily, each individual throb echoing throughout her body. It wasn’t like she ever believed in monsters, but it wasn’t like she never heard of them. And there was no sane or slightly logical reason as to why something just came out of her closet. Nor was there any explanation to the strange stitches and differently shaded skin patches.

As Teto hit the ground, she immediately scrambled to crawl forward from the hand and pick herself up. Except the hand was strangely difficult to kick off and didn’t allow her to make any decent distance forward.

She quickly rolled onto her back and started kicking at the wrist with her other leg. Hoping that she could hurt the thing enough for it to let go or at least falter in its grip. However, it felt like Teto’s kicks were hurting herself more than the monster.

“Come on, come on!” Teto grimaced as her movements became more frenzied in an attempt to free herself.

“I-Wait a second!” The figure loudly called out, pushing the bag off and moving aside the corner of the wall so that they could look at Teto. Who was too occupied with struggling to meet their gaze.

“Teto?!” They exclaimed as they confirmed to themselves who they just encountered.

Teto felt scared at her name being called, the thing knew her? She flicked her eyes up to look at the figure, and she saw more than just the skin of what was in front of her.

The teal-adjacent hair, pigtails, big eyes. Her legs slowed down their motions as she tried to focus on the image in front of her. Making sure that what she was seeing was what she was actually encountering.

“Miku?” Teto asked, though she asked it more so to herself. The person in front of her smiled happily at it, their red eyes glowing with joy.

Wait… Red eyes?

Teto’s mind got stuck on that new detail. She quickly looked around Miku’s body to see if anything else looked wrong. Besides, most of it. The silhouette looked pretty similar, if not a bit skinnier. Her expression didn’t look that strange, Teto easily imagined it on past Miku’s face. But the hair changing colors at the end, different eye color, frankenstein’s monster styled skin, it shouldn’t be Miku. Right?

“Yes!” Miku’s eyes flashed with excitement at her name, she hadn’t heard it in forever, “That’s me! Yes!”

The struggling stopped, Miku looked excited at being recognized by Teto, but Teto was searching for anything to tip her off to this not being Miku. It’d be insane to believe that she was alive. Though, it was insane that anything like this could exist, so just maybe she could be?

“Prove it.” Teto demanded.

“Prove it?”

“Yeah, prove it to me before I scream loudly for someone to call the police.” Teto’s gaze narrowed, she for some reason felt like she wanted to catch this person in a lie. To prove that she wasn’t Miku, but she didn’t know why she wanted this.

“I Uhm.” Miku paused, loosening her grip on Teto’s ankle and looking down at the flooring as she desperately scraped around her mind for anything to say. She should get past this cliche movie scene easily, but she was failing.

“Uh-uhm…” She saw Teto’s face harden as she failed to say anything, “We uhm…”

They had spent so much time together, but Miku failed to think about anything that only they would really know. But being popular idols, a good amount of their personal lives were more public. It didn't help that she loved posting stuff online about them doing activities together such as dates.

However, they never really talked in depth about their time in school together. Miku’s eyes widened as she suddenly shifted her search to their school days, but that part of their past was foggy to her.

Teto watched as Miku went silent and slightly moved her gaze in thought. She kept her jaw clenched tightly as Miku’s search began to leak desperation into the air.

Miku was dead, she couldn’t be alive. This has to just be a crazy person.

She told herself, and yet something about the way the person in front of her moved gave her doubt in that idea. She both wanted to prove this person wrong and right. She wanted some definitive answer, even if one was more insane than the other.

“In middle school…” Miku started and stopped, not having anything else after that.

Teto’s body slowly untensed as she watched them try and fail to remember anything convincing. Miku scratched at her chin as she tried to think of anything to say, her expression now a mix of panic and nervousness. Teto let out a deep sigh before slowly pulling her legs into a sitting position. The motion made Miku quickly look up in worry that Teto was about to leave.

Teto was still confused as to what exactly was in front of her, but it definitely seemed more Miku than an attempted doppelganger. Even if it was though, Teto didn’t exactly want to have that alone feeling again, so maybe this would be a good thing regardless.

“What the hell happened to you?” Teto asked while continuing to look Miku up and down, her eyes catching on the red eyes again.

Miku’s expression shifted from worry, to surprise, and then to realization. It didn’t look like Teto was about to leave or scream, so this was the best-case scenario for her.

“I- uh,” She looked down at her stitched up hands, as she settled to sit on her knees, “I don’t really know yet.”

She looked back up to Teto, who hadn’t stopped looking at her eyes, and moved back slightly at the attention. She couldn’t really remember the last time she was being looked in the eyes, she couldn’t even remember the last time she had any human interaction for the moment. So it felt somewhat surprising to her now.

“You don’t know?” Teto tilted her head, she didn’t want a medical diagnosis or anything, only whatever Miku knew as to what happened to her. If this was real, and not some strange dream, she’d like to at least be on the same page.

Miku looked towards the floor in-thought on what to say, but before she could manage an idea on how to respond, her stomach grumbled. The sudden sound surprising both of them equally.

Teto’s eyebrows raised as she looked at Miku, worry soon coming to her as she stood up from the ground before offering her hand to Miku. She took it and let Teto help her up, to which Teto shivered.

“Geez, you’re so cold.” Teto said as she let go of Miku’s hand to look at her own and then at Miku’s.

“Yeah, comes with the whole undead thing.” Miku sheepishly chuckled as she scratched the back of her head.

“The whole huh?” Teto leaned back in surprise at the statement, Miku just put her hands slightly in front of her in a calming gesture.

“I’ll tell you about it,” She prayed that saying that wouldn’t somehow be the thing to throw Teto for a complete loop. She seemed to be taking this surprisingly well so far, “but first.” Miku looked over to the fridge.

Teto failed to completely brush off her shock at what she just heard and what it meant, but followed Miku’s gaze before nodding, “Yeah, you need food.”

“Yep.” Miku nodded, watching as Teto walked towards the kitchen before following behind her.

Teto opened the fridge door and looked around at the groceries that Gumi stocked up for her. Her mind still on the almost nonchalant mention of being, ‘undead.’ Because if Miku was undead, then that would mean the virus that caused the quarantine was a zombie virus. And it would also mean that Miku was a…

Teto looked back at Miku, taking in the image for what would be far from the last time. The stitches, cold touch, everything made sense for that. But weren’t zombies supposed to eat people? Well, no one really knows considering how horror movies are the only concepts of zombies. But still, what if that was how they acted?

“Teto?” Miku raised an eyebrow at Teto’s eyes looking her up and down again.

“Huh?” She snapped out of her thoughts.

“Are you alright?” Miku couldn’t help but awkwardly smile after saying that. Her missing girlfriend was a zombie, she would at least be in shock or something of the sort.

“I-uh. Just thinking.” Teto turned back towards the fridge and grabbed a bento box.

Miku nodded and stepped back so that Teto had more space, “Well, we have quite a while to talk about things. Don’t need to think silently.” She smiled.

Teto’s eyes locked onto that smile, it had been so long since she saw it. As much as it used to be reassuring back then, it now felt somewhat unnerving considering what Miku might be. “Yeah.” Teto blankly agreed, putting the bento box into the microwave. Her mind was running faster than it had in a long while.

Miku looked down at the microwave as it started, her hands clasped in front of her as she listened intently to the whirring sound it gave. Teto watched the reaction with confusion that quickly turned to curiosity.

“You like microwaves now?”

“Huh?” Miku looked up at Teto before holding in a small laugh, “No, but it’s nice to hear something electric. A nice change of pace.”

She did look content. Teto brushed it aside from her mind as she thought about more pressing questions.

“So what exactly happened?”

“Well, I can’t remember the first bit right now. But I was just living in the quarantine.”

“The whole time?” Teto raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Yeah?” Miku tilted her head, “When else?”

“No no,” Teto shook her head, “I mean I get that but-wow. You really just lived in there.” She spoke the last part to herself.

“I know I’m an idol, but come on. I can be resilient. After all, it was just a little over a year.” She shook her head lightly.

“A little over a year?” Teto poked.

“Yeah, I mean maybe I lost a count of a few days. But that’s why I said a little over.”

“Miku, what year do you think it is?”

“2028. Maybe 29?”

“Miku. It’s 2031.”

She froze at those words. Her eyes dropped from Teto’s gaze as her face lost the little smile she had.

“Oh.” Miku muttered.

Before Teto could respond to Miku’s reaction, the microwave loudly beeped. Miku’s head quickly moving to look at it as Teto slowly moved to open it.

The smell of the beef was heavenly to Miku, she couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten before hiding in this apartment. And even if she didn’t move for however long she was in the closet, her hunger never dissipated.

Teto set it on the island towards Miku before moving to grab utensils from the drawer to put next to it.

“Ah, finally. Thank you.” Miku nodded to Teto before eating.

Teto watched quietly as she did, quickly realizing that the other wasn’t just hungry. While she used the utensils, Miku wasn’t savoring the food. And on top of that, she wasn’t even touching the vegetables, only eating the beef.

Teto began to have more confidence in her zombie theory.

As Miku finished, Teto looked at her graphic crop top. It was a unique black heart in the middle, but Teto was only reading the words. It wasn’t like Miku admitted it to her or anything, but reading the word, ‘zombie’ made her feel stupid for thinking like a detective about Miku being a zombie. Though, she hadn’t slept well last night, so at least she could blame her inner stupidity on that.

“Miku?” Teto sighed.

“Yeah?”

“Are you a zombie?”

Miku paused, outstretched her arms, looked at them, then the rest of her body, then blankly back at Teto.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

. . .

Miku took another bite before looking at Teto’s frozen form in front of her. Looking at her eyes and then her stiff body. She nervously smiled and put down the utensil.

“L-Like kinda a zombie, yknow? Unbeating heart, cold blood, carnivorous. Nothing bad.”

Teto’s eyelid twitched, “Wh- You’re just telling me that you’re a zombie and that it’s no big deal?”

“It’s not like I’m braindead or anything though.”

“So you’re a smart zombie? Is that any more reassuring?”

“Reassuring..” Miku paused and thought for a second before quickly looking up with a somewhat shocked expression, “You think I’m going to eat you?”

“I-I mean, have you seen a zombie movie? That’s what they do, eat people!”

“Oh come on Teto, that’s just a movie.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell myself, but what you described are quite literally the defining characteristics of zombies!” Teto’s heart was beating fast again, did she really believe Miku was going to try and eat her? Not completely, but she couldn’t help but feel nervous about the idea.

“I-” Miku raised a finger before pausing. Yeah, she couldn’t exactly decline that. “That’s just a harmful stereotype!”

“Eh!? Are you seriously joking right now?!”

Miku sighed, “Yeah yeah, sorry.”

After that, the apartment went quiet. Miku gave it a little longer for Teto to say anything, but by the look on her face, Miku could tell that she was just trying to process the rest of this. And so she went back to finishing the beef as Teto thought more about this.

The unfortunate part about this was that yes, the zombies were pretty much like the depictions. They would eat people, and it was the most terrifying thing Miku had ever witnessed. And she couldn’t be honest in saying that she wasn’t like that. There was one time that she did walk in on a person sleeping and felt the urge. So Teto was onto something.

Then again, that was early into the days of the quarantine, when there were still people. It hadn’t happened since then. Not to mention, no one knew about the virus. If they did, Teto surely wouldn’t be doubting her assumption, she’d be sure of it. So, without anyone to prove her wrong, Miku spoke.

“Zombies don’t actually eat people.”

Teto snapped back into the moment and met Miku’s gaze. The look of sincerity in her eyes was different than she remembered it being, but it had been forever. She stayed quiet as she saw Miku opening her mouth again.

“They just thought other humans were also zombies because of their body types. They only ate animals.”

Miku immediately lost her confidence after she got those words out. She nervously watched Teto for any reaction. Extremely skeptical of getting any belief, she prayed for Teto to not call her out.

Teto looked at the stitching on Miku’s gut before returning her gaze. In all honesty, no matter what Miku told her, Teto wouldn’t want to let her go. Not after that moment of loneliness. She nodded.

“Alright, if you say so.”

Miku internally let out a sigh of relief, her soul relaxing at Teto’s neutral reaction. It wasn’t the most positively spoken sentence, but it definitely wasn’t negative.

Teto reached out to grab the plastic bento box, taking it to throw away. Walking towards the trash can before tossing out the wasted vegetables. She wasn’t tempted to eat it, even if Miku didn’t touch it, a zombie still ate out of it. She wasn’t too hungry anyways.

When Teto turned around, she saw Miku put the utensils into the sink. Raising her eyebrows with pleasant surprise at the action. Miku smiled back, happy to be around someone again.

“So about your hair.” Teto started another conversation, the tense mood slowly lifting.

“Yeah? The color change?”

“I mean, that too. But I mainly mean the mushrooms.”

“Oh!” Miku sheepishly smiled, “I think they came from the big mushroom in the middle of the city, but they don’t really do anything.”

“The big mushroom..?”

“I can’t really explain most of these things.”

Teto nodded, she also felt tired, the adrenaline from the struggle completely gone. Even her shock was starting to feel a little muffled. It’d be best to not dive completely far into something that seemed difficult to understand.

“That’s probably best anyway.” Teto raised a hand to her mouth as she suddenly yawned.

“Oh wow,” Miku raised her eyebrows, “it isn’t even completely dark out and you’re already tired?”

“I didn’t get much sleep last night, not my fault.”

“Really? What happened?” Miku curiously asked, she was partially skeptical that it wasn’t Teto’s fault, but that was irrelevant.

“I-” Teto averted her gaze, “I don’t know.” She rushed.

Miku smirked, “You don’t know, but it wasn’t your fault?”

Teto frowned, “Shut up, aren’t you a gross zombie or something? You should go clean up.”

Miku looked down at herself. She wasn’t disgusting or anything. Maybe her clothes smelled a little gross and she couldn’t notice. Though, she was in the closet for a while, and it wouldn’t hurt to shower.

“Huh, I guess you’re right.” Miku looked back up at Teto with a neutral face.

Teto felt a little flustered by how Miku didn’t hesitate to take the bait to switch the conversation, and mostly by her expression. The air felt light enough for some stupid feelings to return to her head.

“Can I have something of yours to wear? I don’t have anything.” Miku asked.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thank you~” Miku smiled happily before walking off to the bathroom.

Teto stood there quietly until she heard the shower turn on. She then shook her head so that she could think. She wasn’t ready to talk about things like that dream. She avoided telling Gumi it, even when she felt like it was the perfect time. She wasn’t going to tell Miku right now, after all, she still had to get over the memory, herself.

ー

Teto laid in the bed as she heard Miku finish up her shower. She had placed the duffel bag with clothes in front of the bathroom door after changing herself. Now she stared up at the ceiling, feeling her plush version staring at her.

She didn’t understand why she wasn’t so extremely happy that Miku was back. That she didn’t run up and hug her. Instead she was cautious because Miku was a zombie now.

If Miku meant so much to her, shouldn’t she have for the most part ignored that? Or maybe, she really finished grieving and accepting Miku’s absence.

Except, she avoided talking about her during certain times because she still felt pain when hearing her name after everything. She still couldn’t come to terms with certain aspects of having lost Miku, she just got it proven that she was far from being good when she was alone. But before her loss, she could handle being the only one around.

Teto gripped her palms as she continued to try and understand why she was like this right now. Could her mind just not make itself up on what it is? It’d be a lot easier to deal with a drastic change if she understood whether she finished the five stages of grief or was still in them.

The red plush in the corner of her eye was still looking at her. As if judging, because it had itself figured out. It wasn’t unsure, its life was damn indistinguishable from its dream. Even if it was only because it hadn’t experienced loss.

Teto grabbed it by the head and turned it away. Laying back down with a deep sigh that failed to fully clear her body of tension.

Soon after, Miku rounded the hallway corner to see Teto on the bed. Unlike Teto, Miku looked and felt quite content with the recent event. Being alone for so long made her even happier to have company. Never in her past life did she take company for nothing special, that’s what always made her interactions with friends or fans so valuable.

“Ah, alright then. Should I sleep on the couch?”

Teto creased her eyebrows, the bed wasn’t too small, nor did she want to make Miku sleep on the couch. She felt that’d be like pushing her away, it would be a major downstep from where they left off.

“Uh, no, you don’t have to.” She quietly murmured as she shifted to lay on the right edge of the bed.

Miku nodded and walked over to the left side of the bed, looking down at Teto, and then looking at the plushes.

“Oh?” She expressed some joy as she picked up the Teto plush and raised it to head level.

“You kept these?” Miku asked, moving her head out of the way of the plush to look at Teto.

“Hm?” Teto turned her head to look back at Miku, “Oh, yeah.”

Miku grabbed the plush of herself from the middle of the bed and held it side-by-side to the other plush. Seeing these two next to each other again brought a feeling of peace to her heart. Though, Teto did seem somewhat closed off at the moment.

Miku decided it would be best to just let her rest. So she put the plushes down and went to turn off the lights. Then she went back to the side of the bed, looking at Teto before settling in beside her. Soft sheets never felt any better.

“Goodnight Teto.”

“Night Miku.”

Chapter Text

There was a special feeling that came with sleeping in someplace new. At Gumi’s, the window didn’t shine directly onto the bed. It was the first difference Teto noticed as she slowly woke up. She was facing directly towards the window, and her face was being warmed by the rays.

She slowly squinted her eyes to accept that she was back in the real world. Somehow, the sleep she had that night was quite peaceful. She couldn’t even remember the last thing she thought before passing out.

After one last moment of enjoying her sleeping position, Teto moved to sit up on the bed. She stretched her arms upwards before letting them lay idly on the sheets. Looking to her left as she went through the main motions of waking up.

There she was, Miku. Weird mushrooms peeking through her bright teal hair. The lighting in the room allowing Teto to clearly see the color of the hair. The well-stitched and mostly pale skin almost reflecting the light. Sleeping with a light smile on her face.

It didn’t look like she was near waking up, Teto wondered if maybe she was just really enjoying a clean body and bed for once. Though, do zombies sleep? The two hadn’t talked nearly enough about the topic for Teto to have any idea. All she knew was that Miku no longer had warm blood, only seemed to eat meat, and apparently didn’t breathe in her sleep. Otherwise she seemed somewhat normal, no rotting skin or such… Hopefully.

Teto’s gaze moved from Miku’s face to look at the Teto plush she was hugging. Something about the sight caused Teto to feel that stupid feeling again. She pushed it down and looked away from  the red haired plush, just to notice a Miku plush laid in between them, blankly staring into the distance.

Teto picked it up and held it in front of her face.

“So stupid…”

It smiled dopily back, and Teto frowned. There wasn’t anything to this exchange, if anything, it was moronic.

Teto sighed and set it back down and crossed her arms, turning to look out from the bed. She could still see part of the Teto plush from the corner of her eye. She felt a warmth come to her face that wasn’t from the sun.

She waited a few minutes in that position until she felt closer to normal and accepted that Miku was in a deep sleep.

“Miku.” Teto spoke, not looking away from the kitchen.

…

She could only hear the air pass through her nose.

“Miku.” She called out, hoping that being louder might awaken her.

…

Teto turned her head just enough to look at Miku’s still peacefully sleeping form. Was she deaf when she slept?

“Hey!” Teto called out one last time, and once again got no response.

Alright then, fine.

“Get up already!” Teto ordered as she reached over to jostle Miku by the shoulder.

“Huh..?” Miku mumbled before slowly opening her eyes to look at the ceiling, then noticing Teto leaned partially above her.

Miku’s face immediately turned to a soft smile, and the warmth in her eyes caught Teto severely off guard. Bringing her to move back a bit and watch as Miku slowly rose, still clutching the Teto plush to her chest.

“Good morning Teto.” She spoke before finally getting into a sitting position.

“Oh, uhm, morning.” Teto nearly mumbled, moving to sit on her knees. The slight agitation she had, being met with… well Miku, momentarily stopped her brain from functioning.

Miku tilted her head as she watched Teto look down at the bed, trying to understand the reaction. While she immediately could note that she was a zombie and abruptly reappeared in Teto’s life, she struggled to understand why Teto was easily flustered. She attributed it to them both just waking up, hopefully it’d change later in the day.

Once Teto saw Miku staring at her from the edge of her eye, she immediately attempted to move on from this moment. Not wanting Miku to pay too much mind to it, she’d have to understand it first.

“You don’t breathe when you sleep.” Teto mentioned, watching Miku lean back slightly in thought and taking it as a sign to straighten herself up and forget about her own reaction.

“Well, I guess that does make sense. I don’t think I need to breathe at all.”

There that word was again, ‘think’. Teto could predict this would be a theme when it came to understanding how Miku worked.

“You don’t?” Teto looked down and motioned to Miku’s rising and falling chest, “Then why are you doing it? I’d have to assume it’s more inconvenient than not.”

“I’ve actually thought about this part. It isn’t about convenience, but the routine of the action. It keeps me relaxed,” She set the Teto plush next to the Miku plush, and then opened the palm of her hand to look at, “I don’t really look like a normal human anymore, but the action keeps me from dehumanizing myself. Even if it is just breathing.”

Teto followed Miku’s gaze. Hearing that was quite insightful, and it gave Teto hope that understanding how Miku’s body was wouldn’t be so difficult. And once they understood those changes, maybe they’d be like they were before. Or, maybe they wouldn’t. Those weren’t the only changes made.

“What else do you know about this?” Teto softly asked.

Miku put her hand down on the sheets and looked at Teto before gazing off to the side as she thought. She already told Teto that she only ate meat, didn’t have a beating heart, and no longer needed to breathe.

“I don’t feel things as strongly. Like, it’s all somewhat numbed,”  Miku traced a stitch line on her arm, “I have to check myself for any cuts and stitch any, so I don’t bleed out.”

Digesting was still the same, and her body didn’t move any differently. Her metabolism was different, but she wouldn’t know how to go about explaining how it could essentially pause.

As Miku leaned further into thought, a quick and sharp pain outside of her skull stopped her. It was shortly followed by an overbearing throbbing sensation that felt like it flowed directly into her brain. She grimaced, ducking down and gripping the sides of her head tightly.

Teto jumped, quickly retracting her hand from the mushrooms in Miku’s hair. The look of pain she saw gave her a sinking feeling of guilt. Suddenly she remembered the importance of impulse control, albeit too late.

“Shit! Are you okay?” Teto blurted the question as she panicked,

Miku let out a strained groan as she began to push inwards on her head, needing some outlet for her pain. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt anything hurt this bad, her life was mostly numbed and nearly painless since the infection.

Without any verbal response from Miku, Teto only felt a further need to help in some way. She quickly looked around Miku’s head before noticing the hands pushing inwards. She quickly reached over to grab Miku’s hands before trying to pry them off.

“H-Hey!” Teto stuttered, “It’s alright, just let go.” She knew that whatever Miku was doing wasn’t going to help her in the slightest.

Miku breathed forcefully through her teeth, attempting to soothe herself in the most common way. She slowly relented her grip and let Teto move her hands away, but she needed some kind of outlet. She forced her eyes to open and look at the unfocused image of Teto, hoping that somehow she’d understand the need.

“Here.” Teto slid her hands further up Miku’s arms, guiding Miku closer and into a hug.

“Mmph!” Teto exclaimed as Miku very tightly hugged her.

Is she stronger than I remember? This isn’t enough to crush my spine right?

Miku shut her eyes tightly again and let her form cling tightly onto Teto’s. Her jaw pushed down roughly onto Teto’s shoulder as she begged the pain to start subsiding. She felt Teto’s arms wrap around her torso, Miku pushed herself further into Teto’s embrace as the throbbing continued to hurt her head.

“I-It’s alright.” Teto spoke somewhat breathlessly due to Miku’s tight grip. She didn’t mean to hurt her, but since she did, she let go of the right to complain at Miku’s bear hug. She slid her hand calmingly up and down Miku’s back, something that she hadn’t done in a long time.

After a minute, Teto felt Miku’s body relax slightly. Her breathing went quiet, but Teto could still feel the rise and fall of her chest against her own.

Does she even exhale carbon dioxide?

Miku leaned back from Teto’s embrace, the two now closely facing each other.

Teto stopped for a second, her face burning up before scooting back and pushing Miku off of her.

“Mph… Gentle.” Miku groaned before sitting stably back on her legs, not wanting to move slightly in case it brought the throbbing sensation back to its max.

“Sorry..” Teto sheepishly mumbled, scratching the back of her head as she averted her gaze for a second.

“What even just happened?” Miku quietly asked, opening her eyes to look at Teto.

“Uhm…” Teto fully turned her head away from Miku, unsure about how to respond without seeming stupid. Though, flicking the mushroom was far from smart, so that might just be inevitable.

“I flicked one of the mushrooms on your head.” She admitted. She did feel bad, but she was feeling scatter-brained.

“You what?” Miku asked flatly. Teto could feel the piercing gaze hit her, and it helped her mind come back together.

“I-It was really stupid! I was just so curious about them, and I wasn’t thinking, so I just flicked one.”

She slumped her body, why was she talking like a guilty teenager? She sounded so stupid, and she didn’t want Miku to think that she changed in a negative way. At this point, Teto knew that none of this was anything near a dream or some crazy person faking being Miku. This was Miku, and the last thing Teto wanted was her seeing a reaction like this.

“I’m sorry.” Teto softly spoke, “I guess my impulse control isn’t too good anymore.”

After a short pause, Teto’s words were met with a snicker. She looked up with a somewhat surprised expression, a little put out by the reaction.

“Anymore?” Miku failed to force back a smile, “When was it ever good?”

“I-.”

Nope, she’s right.

“Didn’t you go and try to pet that hissing stray cat on our way back from Luka’s?” Miku teased, though it seemed that her pain was mostly, if not completely gone, at this point if she could laugh.

“That was different, I was exhausted and could hardly keep up in conversation!” Teto defended, and she would sooner die than say that event was caused by anything else. It was convenient that she had a music video filmed earlier that day, the perfect excuse.

“Mhm, sure.” Miku nodded before looking up in an attempt to see the mushrooms that were just beyond her sight, “Well, you better work on it so that it doesn’t happen again.” She looked back at Teto and slightly tilted her head, “Kay?”

Somehow, that moment struck Teto in the heart. Maybe it was the joyful demeanor of Miku that she hadn’t seen in years. Maybe it was the shine in the other’s eye. Or, it was because this moment was something they would have had all that time ago. Ignoring the mushroom flicking part, Miku had poked fun at Teto for this a few times essentially word-for-word.

“Y-Yeah.” She felt like she completely let down her guard. Hearing Miku speak and act in that happy way… Maybe the world Teto wanted to live in wasn’t that far from the reality she thought she was condemned to.

“Alright, now it’s time to start the day, yeah?” Miku encouraged, to which Teto nodded, though with some pause to register the simple words Miku said.

Miku contently exhaled before moving to get off the bed. Looking back and picking up the plushies and setting them up against her pillow. A proud smile on her face as she did so.

Teto slowly got off of the bed, her eyes blankly staring at the sheets as she started to really think about her flustered reaction. Before everything, she wouldn’t pause and try to register the words. She would’ve immediately kept pace with Miku, but here she didn’t. She didn’t expect herself to suddenly be on the same page they left off. And yet it felt like there was a major disconnect, at least on Teto’s part. She didn’t know what Miku and her were. Did they qualify as exes?

Wait, where the hell does she think we’re at?

Teto abruptly looked up at Miku, who was swaying her body side-to-side while looking around the apartment idly.  She was in thought, but it was unlikely that they were thinking about the same thing.

I need to know where she stands. But how do I get to any idea without directly asking?

“Uh…” Miku slowed her movements and turned to Teto, “Actually, I don’t know what to do.” They had a few activities that they’d do together in the mornings, but going outside was included in the ones that Miku could remember. And that wasn’t an option.

Teto put her new objective onto the back burner for now, she’d find out where Miku stood as they continued talking. Because asking her where they stood would totally be too weird, not like there was anything else stranger than that going on.

“That’s…” Teto paused and looked around the empty and rather bland apartment, “A good question.”

Miku followed Teto’s gaze across the undecorated walls. It was a far cry from their old home’s decorum, they had quite a few gifts around on desks and general merch, a higher amount in their bedroom. Not like they were self-obsessed, but they thought it was funny to have their room filled with their own merch. It definitely got reactions from their visitors.

“W-well it isn’t like we need some activity to do in the background as we talk.” Miku blurted, feeling embarrassed at the implication that she needed something else to do while dealing with Teto. That was a rare occasion.

“No, I get it. Having something while talking is nice.” Teto looked towards the kitchen cabinets, “I think Gumi bought me some tea.” She was on point with buying Teto some instant meals like those noodles and microwavable bento boxes, but that tea was not as on-point.

“You have tea? Wait. Gumi?!” Miku suddenly perked up and exclaimed, which startled Teto a little.

Hearing that Teto was given tea as a gift was strange,  but she completely blanked on remembering her friends. She needed to hear about where they were and how they were.

“Yeah? I lived with Gumi for the past three years.” Teto avoided stumbling over her words, seeing Miku perk up so suddenly like that felt jarring this early in the morning.

“Past thre-” Miku stopped herself, “Oh right, you told me it had been three years. But wait-you lived with Gumi the whole time? How is she?”

“Let me boil some water for tea.” Though, Teto was mostly doing it for ritualistic purposes. Tea was not something she really enjoyed.

ー

Teto set down a tea cup in front of Miku on the coffee table, sitting across from her on the couch and setting down her own tea cup and sliced piece of baguette. She could see the curiosity in Miku’s eyes and already knew that she would have to fulfil said curiosity.

“After everything went down in Shibuya, I ended up not having any place readily to stay. All the hotels were occupied nearby, and I didn’t have any way to get to a far away place.” Teto touched the tea cup to see if it was still hot.

“I forgot my phone back at the house, so I couldn’t call anyone.” She took in a breath, she wasn’t going to tell Miku the complete truth about what happened. This wasn’t the time, they were still settling into this life.

“Luckily, Gumi was really concerned and started searching around the outer edge of the quarantine for me. She ended up finding me walking down a sidewalk carrying a bag.”

Teto tried to subtly glance at Miku from the corner of her eye. Her face was deeply concerned, so Teto quickly looked towards the teacup. She couldn’t get herself to lie to Miku’s face.

“And then?” Miku softly asked.

Teto paused, grabbing the teacup and taking a gulp of it. It was still somewhat hot, but she needed something to help swallow her protesting morals. Not like she was going to savor the taste anyways.

“Well.” Teto coughed, “She ended up letting me stay in the guest room for ‘as long as I’d need.’ I don’t think either of us expected me to take as long as I did.”

Miku nodded, reaching over to gently hold her teacup and take a sip. Her face immediately scrunching up, quickly dragging Teto’s attention.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah, just really hot.”

Miku set the cup back down and shook her head.

“Right.” Teto glanced towards the baguette piece on the table. The tea hurt her slightly, but it didn’t scald her like it seemed Miku was. She reached over and broke a part of the baguette off, then looked at Miku.

“Huh?” Miku noticed Teto’s expectant expression, then the bread, “Oh, uhm. Sure, why not?” Miku smiled and took the piece, promptly eating it.

Her face scrunched up again, though less than before. She swallowed, though it was with visible reluctance.

“Didn’t help?”

“Nope. Not at all. I can’t eat anything but meat.”

. . .

“Then why would you take the piece from me?”

“I-” There was no logical answer she could give, “It looked good?” She attempted.

Teto stared, then sighed, “It’s a miracle you never became friends with people who took drugs throughout your life. You’d be done for otherwise.”

“What? Why would you say that?” Miku defensively asked.

“I didn’t even have to try for you to eat something you obviously knew you shouldn't have.”

“Not my fault I trust you.”

“You’re the only one here who has a decent understanding of your body!”

. . .

“Guess you’re right.” Miku nervously laughed.

Teto exhaled and took a piece to eat, herself. Allowing Miku to readjust and ask questions that they both knew she would end up having a lot of.

“So what was it like? Living with Gumi?”

“It was… really nice actually.” Teto raised her eyebrows as she remembered, “She talked to me often, didn’t charge me rent, overall she was pretty perfect.”

Miku nodded, not a very thorough response, but she’d take it.

The room fell into a short silence as Miku thought about what she wanted to ask next. Her mind was congested with so many questions, so she ruled out any of the deeper ones until it felt more appropriate.

“How are the others doing?” She wanted to know, but she knew that the answers would be centered around grieving.

“The others?”

“Yeah?” Miku tilted her head, “Y’know, Neru, Kaito, Rin, and Len?” She didn’t understand why Teto didn’t immediately recognize what she was referring to.

“Oh.” Teto tensed, and looked at the baguette again, it was easier to lie towards it than directly at Miku, “They’re doing good. I haven’t checked in a while though.”

Hopefully that deters questions about them.

“Really? I thought you just moved here, they didn’t even call you?” Miku was skeptical, their friends were quality friends, there was almost no chance that at least a few of them didn’t check in. Or did they change so much in the past three years?

“I-” Teto knew that Miku would likely press on the topic of thm, she needed something to stop this discussion. Long enough for Teto to understand how to approach it.

“Teto?”

“I’ve been really busy lately figuring out all of this on-my-own stuff. If they called me, I must not have noticed it.”

Miku creased her eyebrows, she didn’t understand why Teto suddenly seemed somewhat annoyed with the topic. It may have been years, but they spent some pretty important ones together that helped them understand the other’s tells. But the day just started for them, and she didn’t want to spend the rest of it in a tense manner.

“That makes sense I guess.” She would talk to Teto about this later, there was a lot she needed to know.

Teto relaxed slightly, more tense than before that topic, but less tense than during. She could feel Miku’s want to know more, but she decided to end the conversation and Teto was far from bringing it back up.

“So then…” Miku started back up, “What’s new on your side?” She tilted her head and smiled, she was still somewhat nervous about ruining the day from the start, but surely giving Teto the freedom to talk about what she wanted would stop any issue from happening.

“What’s new with me?” Teto paused to think. Quite a lot had changed. Though, what was different that she wanted Miku to know and wouldn’t hurt? Idol-talk was not a choice, nor were their friends, so what was left? She nearly turned full hikikomori in the past three years, no one wants to hear that about their friend.

“I guess… Not all that much.”

“Oh.”

They both sat still for a moment, each actively brainstorming what to talk about that wouldn’t cause any issues. It was unfortunate that the thing Miku was most curious about was seemingly off-limits. And Teto couldn’t say much without revealing that she was an ex-idol with only one friend, that being her ex-roommate.

“Can you…” Miku perked up at Teto’s voice, the other just trying to finish the train of thought to get this conversation somewhere.

“Can I..?” Miku encouraged after a moment.

“Can you do anything interesting with your new body?” Teto took her head off the back of the couch and faced Miku.

“Interesting with my body? Hm… I mean, I feel less pain, so maybe I could do things that’d normally hurt?”

“Hm.” Teto leaned back against the couch for another moment as she tried to think of something else.

“Oh!” She sat up, “List everything unique about your body. Now that we’re both awake, let’s get on the same page about this.” It didn’t occur to her how strange what she was saying was, and it probably wouldn’t for a while.

“Oh!” Miku perked up, hopefully this could lead into something else that allowed them to freely talk, “Okay. Well, I feel less pain, I don’t need to breathe, though I still do, I can only eat meat, but I do eat less. And… Well, I guess we've learned that the mushrooms on my head are sensitive.”

“Anything else?”

“Not that I can think of.”

“What about your stitches?” Teto pointed out, leaning over to the side slightly to get a better look at the ones on Miku’s hand.

“My stitches? What about them exactly?”

“Well, anything. Why do you have so many, and why does your skin’s color change across each one?” Teto was genuinely curious about that, the slight tension from earlier starting to fade away as she forgot about it.

“It’s because my body doesn’t really heal. I’ve tried many remedies that I remembered hearing about, but no matter what my skin just wouldn’t connect. So stitches were the only way to hold my body together.”

She held her arm up between Teto and herself, “Though, because they don’t connect organically, they don’t seem to discolor at the same rate. It won’t age, but it won’t form back together.” She traced a finger across one on her lower forearm, “I had this one the first day of the quarantine.”

Teto nodded, bringing her hands near Miku’s arm before stopping, “May I?”

“Huh? Oh yes, sure.”

Teto gently took hold of Miku’s arm, tracing one skin patch with her hand. It was cold and surprisingly smooth. She traced her fingertips over the stitch lines, they were lower in the skin than normal stitches. The skin raised slightly by each line, and the string almost felt like it was a part of the arm.

“Does it rot?” Teto asked as she continued looking down at the arm, for no response to be heard.

“Miku?” Teto looked up at Miku, who was frozen in place. Just looking down at where Teto was touching her arm, her lips ever-so-slightly pursed. After a few seconds of Teto looking up at her, Miku’s eyes suddenly met hers before retracting her arm and body to the other side of the couch, averting her gaze. A bluish hue was present on her pale cheeks. That moment told Teto that she wasn’t the only one who was unsure about where they were in their relationship.

“Sorry… Does it what?” Miku sheepishly asked as she unsubtly tried to compose herself.

“I asked if it rotted.” Teto felt her face heat up slightly, maybe there was some contagious virus in the room causing this.

“Oh.” Miku cleared her throat, Teto couldn’t help but wonder if she really had to or ever needed to, “No, just discolors. That’s all.”

“Well, you figured out a way for it to look good on you.”

“Teto I-.” Miku shook her head slightly, “Thank you.”

“Now then, I have another question.”

“Yeah?” Miku asked, her smile returning to her face.

“How does your breath not stink? I mean, I would’ve thought a zombie's breath would be the worst thing ever.”

“Ehe…” Miku nervously scratched the back of her head.

Teto narrowed her eyes, “Why are you doing that?”

“I kinda, sorta… used your toothbrush last night.”

“...I knew this was going too well…”

ー

They continued talking for a few hours after that, only stopping to familiarize themselves with the apartment once evening had arrived. The closet door was officially declared broken, as they had struggled to fully open it. While they were successful, they couldn’t close it. Teto said that they’d try and fix it some other time, which put it on the schedule to be done sometime within the next three years. But at least the bags weren’t carelessly laid on the ground by the bed anymore.

“Okay… So tomorrow I’ll need to buy a toothbrush, the washer and dryer stuff, and get chicken skewers…” Teto noted out loud, trying to think if there was anything else she’d need to buy so that she wouldn’t forget tomorrow. Though, without any actual note, it was up to fate as to whether or not she remembered the next day.

“Teto?” Miku called out from the apartment hallway.

“Huh?” Teto turned around and completely forgot that Miku wasn’t across the kitchen island from her. “Yeah?” She called out, walking towards the hallway.

The door of the empty room was open, and Teto could gather that Miku was in there. So she walked up to the doorway to look in.

“What is it?” Teto asked.

“This room’s empty.” Miku plainly said as she stood in the middle of it, looking around.

“Mhm?” Teto nodded, confused as to the obvious statement.

Miku turned to face Teto, “What are you going to do with it?”

“Eh?” Teto raised an eyebrow, “I don’t know. Does it matter?”

“I thought you were busy figuring out your new living situation.” Miku put a hand on her hip, “You’re telling me that in all of your thinking that you didn’t decide on what to do with this room?”

“I had other things to think about.” Teto mumbled defensively.

“Wait, you really didn’t think about it? Why’d you even choose this apartment then?”

“I didn’t know I needed to have a full plan on what to do with this apartment before moving in. I chose it for the location, and because it’s a nice place.”

“I mean, yeah. But you really don’t have a single intention for this room?” Miku placed her hand under her chin.

“I mean, maybe another closet? One that closes?”

“Seriously?” Miku monotonly confirmed, “A glorified closet? Unless you have more outfits on the way, there’s no point.”

Teto leaned against the doorway, but before she could say anything else, Miku came to a realization.

“Actually, you don’t have any of your outfits or costumes here.”

“What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what?’ Y’know, outfits from music videos? Did you stop keeping them or something? You know it can take a while to tailor some of those, what if you need one last second?”

Teto felt a sinking feeling in her chest for a second. Her idol career. It was over. There isn’t anything else to it, it’s gone, The Kasane Teto is nothing anymore, she didn’t have a need for those costumes. 

“I didn’t have time to grab them before the quarantine.”

“Well yeah, but I assume you were given more by your agency for your next performances. Where’d those go?”

“They-” Teto stopped herself, “They’re holding them for me.”

“The agency? I guess that does make sense. Just, not what I remembered you doing.”

Teto nodded, her gaze fixed on the floor. Now wasn’t the time.

“Well, I think because it is just big enough for some dances, you could use it like a miniature dance studio.” Miku did a quick spin with her arms out to show that there was enough room for moves that didn’t involve moving half across a stage.

“That could work…” Teto strained out.

Miku furrowed her brow, she didn’t understand why Teto sounded reluctant. She had started sounding annoyed since mentioning the costumes. Suddenly, she doubted that she could continue on without knowing what was going on. She thought that she might be overreacting because this had only happened twice, but this seemed like it’d matter.

“Is there something you want to say?”

“Huh?” Teto’s head snapped up to look at Miku, surprise present on her face from Miku’s more serious tone.

“Is there something you want to say?” She repeated, “There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

“I-what?” Teto stumbled, nervously smiling as she started to try and diffuse, “No, nothing like that! I’m just thinking about something.”

“Thinking about what?” Miku moved from the room to the doorway, in front of Teto.

“Nothing big, my mind’s just a little preoccupied.” There was a growing sense of desperation to get out of this situation. She didn’t want to talk about it now, it was for later. But she didn’t know when ‘later’ was, and a part of her didn’t want there to be a ‘later.’

“Well, tell me about it.” Miku reinforced her stance more sternly.

“No, it’s okay. I just figured it out anyways.” Teto looked up and away from Miku.

“Well it isn’t like there’s harm in telling me, right?” Miku tried to smile reassuringly, but her eyes failed to match the look. Which only made Teto feel more nervous.

“I was just thinking about what else I’d need to go buy tomorrow.”

“Which was?”

Teto forced herself to meet Miku’s gaze, “Baguettes?”

…

“Eh?”

“Y-Yeah, I should get some more…” Teto pursed her lips.

“Do you genuinely think this is getting you anywhere?” Miku asked, disappointed that this was Teto trying her best.

“I… don’t think I want to answer.”

Miku sighed, a gentler expression on her face, “Can you please just tell me what you’re thinking about?”

Teto defeatedly slumped against the doorframe, “I’m just not doing any idol stuff right now.”

“Wait, what?!” Miku stiffened in shock.

“I just need to get settled into the apartment and being alone.”

“So, you’re just taking a break?!” Miku couldn’t begin to explain her feelings on the matter without coming off explosively. However, Teto saw that sentence as her way out.

“Yeah, a break.” If Miku’s reaction was like this just for, ‘taking a break’ Teto only further feared about if Miku knew the true finality of it. Though, even she knew that it was more a matter of when and not if. She’d figure out an approach to the topic soon.

“I-Is that even okay at this time? What if something happens and your place is taken? I get that us idols have many very committed fans, but so much could happen-” Miku started to ramble, her voice was intense and concerned. It was… It was different.

When Teto injured her leg practicing a dance during her career, she thought Miku couldn’t be more concerned. The girl constantly checked in with her, making sure that Teto was steadily recovering. Teto almost forgot that she was the one that got injured simply because of the way Miku acted. She knew that Miku was trying her best to help handle Teto’s PR during that time, but Teto blended the concern Miku had for her injured leg with the concern for her reputation.

But right now, Miku looked like her head was spinning. There had to be an effort for her to not pace around the room as she listed the issues with taking a break. Her eyes were darting around as her concerns for Teto’s idol image began to hurt herself more than convince Teto to take serious consideration in this.

“Hey, slow down!” Teto reached out to hold Miku’s arm, which caused her to freeze and stop rambling.

“It’s fine, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

Miku met Teto’s gaze, and the look of distress only helped to throw Teto further off of the little balance she had.

“I-It’s fine?” Miku didn’t get it. Did Teto seriously view it that way? Was she stupid?

“Yes,” Teto tried to reassure Miku by gently squeezing her arm, “Nothing to worry about.”

“I-” Miku bit her tongue. Maybe it was a really short break? One that wouldn’t horribly hurt Teto’s image. She needed to know, “How long.”

“How long?” Teto paused to think, immediately she wanted to say something super short. Like a few weeks, something like that wasn’t too far from an average idol’s pause for personal matters. But at the same time, if she said something too short she wouldn’t be able to play it off for too long.

The look in Miku’s eyes stopped Teto from deliberating any longer, there was a desperate need for reassurance.

“A little over a month.” Teto said with faux shame. Miku took in a breath, so Teto quickly added more, “I cited personal reasons, and Gumi said it’s fine. In fact, she suggested I do it in the first place.” Not like Miku could confirm, but Teto would clear all of this stuff up before she would dig herself a hole she couldn’t get herself out of.

Miku paused for a moment and looked aside from Teto. She had no reason to believe Gumi would try to go after Teto’s spot, and if she thought it was a good move maybe it was. She was essentially second to Kaito when it came to considering idol PR and management.

“Alright.” Miku calmed down slightly.

Teto, relieved, let go of Miku’s arm and moved out of the doorway, into the hallway.

Miku rubbed the spot on her arm Teto held, she didn’t realize how comforting the contact was until it stopped. She walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

“Y’know,” Teto began, “We could watch something on the TV.” She didn’t want there to be an uncomfortable silence between them.

Miku turned her head and nodded, “That’d be good…” She quietly spoke. She felt embarrassed at the outburst, Teto made it sound like it should be mostly okay. There wasn’t much else she could do besides trust Teto’s word.

Miku walked to the couch, Teto following shortly behind. Teto grabbed the remote from the top of the media cabinet before sitting down on the couch with Miku. She turned it on and began to struggle with how to navigate this new technology. Definitely wasn’t the same one Gumi owned, nor was it as universal in understanding.

“And you’re confident your fans are fine with it?” She did trust Teto, but she wanted to make sure. Teto’s idol career was much more than a career to her, it was her ambition, and to Miku that was priceless.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m sure.” Teto responded, her focus somewhat taken from figuring out the TV menu.

Miku went quiet again as she tried to convince herself to have the belief Teto had, but the tone Teto used was too casual to further convince her. She wouldn’t push on the same question immediately again, but there were adjacent ones to be asked.

“And you’ll go back when?”

Teto stopped messing with the remote and focusing on the TV completely. There was no good answer to that question. If she said soon, then she’d have a short time frame to explain it to Miku. If she said in a while, Miku would be stressed about it.

“I’d.. need to talk to my agency about it.” Teto didn’t face Miku.

“I thought you said personal matters.” Normally, talks with an agency meant longer discussions. At least, that’s how Miku took it.

“Yeah,” Teto spoke halfheartedly, “It’s something to do with my contract. I don’t know the details well enough.”

“Oh.” Miku ended. That sounded right, Teto not knowing the full details of her contract. Miku really was the only reason Teto learned about what she signed. It was a long day getting Teto to listen to her, Kaito, and a lawyer. Real long.

After a short silence, Teto let out a subtle ‘hmph.’ Miku looked up at Teto, before directing her attention to the TV. An advertisement for Deco news was on top of the home screen, which was the reason for Teto’s sound.

“Deco news?” There was immediately so many questions in her head

“Huh?” Teto turned to look at Miku, then back at the TV, “Yeah, Deco news.”

“Like… the composer?”

“Nope.”

“... So it’s just Deco news. No relation to the composer? They just have the same name as the guy I repeatedly worked with?”

“I guess so.” Teto shrugged, she had zero clue about this either.

“Alright then.”

Miku looked from the name to the rest of the advertisement, and immediately she sat up straight. The cushions moved as she shifted her weight.

A short interview with Crypton’s Idols!

“Wait, when does it air?” Miku asked intently.

“Uh.” Teto looked over the rest of the ad, “Seven.”

Miku immediately looked around the screen before seeing the time listed on the top right corner

07:02

“Turn it on.” Miku ordered.

And Teto did so, the TV taking a moment to load before the news broadcast appeared.

There was a host sitting on a chair to the right of the set, a rehearsed and practiced smile on his face. Behind him was a screen that covered the entire wall of the visible set with a live drone feed of Shibuya. To the other side of the screen was a strangely long couch.

“Anyways, with that quick introduction out of the way. Let’s have an introduction that really matters that we’re all excited for. Please welcome Crypton Future Media’s Idols!” The host beamed as he motioned to the left side of the screen where the guests of honor would enter from.

The first one to enter the camera’s lens was Luka, her pink hair long and an elegant smile on her face. She was wearing her iconic idol outfit, which would be a theme for all of them. She waved at the camera before striding over to the right edge of the couch.

After her came Meiko, short brown hair with her red top and bottom. Miku didn’t think about it because she didn’t feel the colder temperatures that came with this time of the year, but surely that wasn’t too convenient to wear outside. She sat next to Luka.

Kaito followed, his more mature features, gentle smile, and memorable blue hair looked just as Miku remembered. His white coat and pants were much more suited to the time of the year, contradicting Meiko, but also complimenting her. Or maybe that was just the vibe that the two of them constantly had around each other, regardless of other factors.

Then came in Len and Rin. Both Miku and Teto went dead silent, both of them holding their breath, albeit for different reasons. They looked more mature, they were somewhat taller, yet they still looked like the gender-swapped reflection of the other. They didn’t look 15 anymore, they looked like young adults. They both sat on Kaito’s right, both enthusiastically smiling.

“Wow, you guys look like you’re here for a photo shoot.” The host commented, “Though considering you guys are idols, going outside must surely mean that there will be photos regardless of your schedule.”

The idols laughed.

“Can’t say you’re wrong.” Kaito chuckled.

“As long as you’re being nice about it, don’t be shy to do so.” Len proudly stated, Rin playfully glared at him.

“Just make sure to be considerate about the flash.” Luka sheepishly added.

“Now then, I’m sure we’re all very excited for the very recent reopening of Shibuya.”

All the idols nodded in agreement, Shibuya was quite a beneficial area to have any idol affairs in. Though, Crypton’s team would take the most enjoyment out of that aspect.

“This also means the reopening of Line Cube Shibuya, which if I’m right, is set for a performance sometime in the near future?”

Suddenly, everyone on the couch turned to look at Kaito expectantly for an answer.

“Uh.” Kaito nervously voiced as he looked left and right at everyone’s gazes.

“Wow, so the idea that Kaito is the business man of the group is correct considering how all of you just immediately rely on him to answer.”

“Well, he spends the most time with management.” Rin remarked.

“Someone has to. Maybe if you all came too we’d be on the same page.” Kaito defended.

“But that’s a lot of work, and why do any of that when we all essentially have a big bro that already knows?” Len joked, playing into his more immature self.

Luka quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, maybe not everyone’s big bro.” Len corrected.

Teto shifted her weight slightly to the side before looking at Miku’s fixated expression. She didn’t want to watch the broadcast for any longer.

“I’m going to use the bathroom.” She quietly said before getting up and walking past Miku and to the bathroom, closing the door behind her and quietly locking it.

She leaned over the bathroom sink, staring straight at the drain. From the edge of her view, she could see her lost, lying, and pathetic reflection. She slowly tilted her head up to look at it. She looked almost pale, and her emotions only made her mind feel like it was being pulled onto the floor.

Lying to Miku for most of the day didn’t feel good, it mixed poorly into her loneliness from last night. And now she could add the image of those idols to the repulsive cocktail she made and would need to drink. All the sight of them did was make her think about how she cut them off. About how she lost the rest of her main friends was her own fault. How she threw away her career and ambition.

That day could’ve gone so much better. Why couldn’t she have just thought about what she was doing.

– – – ~ – – ~ – ~ – ~ ~ ~

The curtains to the room were closed, the only light visible being right below them. The room was nothing more than dark besides that, and towards the top middle of the room lay Teto in bed. Her body was so engrossed in her sleep that she loudly snored. Though, yesterday’s shoot was quite demanding of her, so at least she had an excuse.

Abruptly, Teto choked on her own breathing, jolting her awake. She was carelessly sprawled out across the bed, which considering the fact that before she fell asleep Miku was next to her, meant that she was greedy for space. Whatever, if she tried to take over the bed while Miku was still in it, she’d be told about it later that day.

Teto grumbled in protest as she forced herself up into a sitting position. Groggily rubbing her eyes. Sleeping so comfortably had to mean she did something stupid like oversleeping.

She scooted over to her side of the bed to take her phone from the nightstand. Turning on the screen and blinding her, as she didn’t lower the brightness in consideration of her future self. After a moment of recovering, she rushed another glance at the bright screen before shutting it off. Trying to immediately remember the image of the homescreen and the numbers it had on it.

1:0something

Teto sighed, she really spent half of the day in bed. Sooner or later, she’d need to get better at recovering from music video shoots and practicing dances at the studio. It didn’t help that she was already struggling to keep up with the likes of Rin and Len. Next time, she’d just go at her own pace, like Luka. Who cared if she should get on the same pace as those two for the upcoming music video? She had to take care of herself.

Regardless, she rested enough. Now it was time to get up and see if anything was going on.

ー

After using the bathroom, Teto headed into the kitchen area. Starting her one day-off this week by snagging a whole baguette and heading into the living room to rewatch a show Miku had started with her recently. She was too tired to reject Miku’s invitation to watch, but not awake enough to understand what was happening.

After starting the first episode of the show, the first of four episodes she’d need to review, she laid on her side and began to snack on the baguette. Not like anyone was here to watch her and judge how she functioned.

ー

After reaching the climax of the third episode, the TV suddenly went blank for a second. Teto stopped eating and paused to stare at the screen to see if it was a glitch that would turn back on in a moment.

Abruptly, the screen flashed white for less than a second before showing a black screen with a red stripe across the top and text on it and below it. Following the new image’s debut, a lower-pitched siren sound started playing from the speakers. It gave Teto an uneasy feeling, one that was shortly followed by her fight-or-flight response once she read the heading.

Immediate Shibuya Evacuation

Teto immediately scrambled up from the couch, throwing the baguette onto the floor. She immediately went for her phone to call Miku.

. . .

“Hello! You’ve reached Hatsune Miku, please leave a message!”

Teto’s unease turned into a sense of dread that began to fill her gut.

She dialed again.

. . .

“Hello! You’ve reached Hatsune Miku, please leave a message!”

Teto’s face paled, her hands began to tremble slightly. Her immediate concern wasn’t on herself, and now it was fully focused on contacting Miku.

She tried again.

. . .

“Hello! You’ve reached Hatsune Miku, please leave a message!”

“Dammit! Pick up already!”

. . .

“Hello! You’ve reached Hatsune Miku-”

. . .

“Hello! You’ve reached Hatsu-”

. . .

“Hello! You-”

. . .

“Hel-”

“Miku! Miku come the fuck on!” Teto yelled at the phone. It obviously wasn’t going to work.

Teto’s eyes dashed up to the emergency broadcast image, then back at her phone.

What did she say she was doing today? She had to have told me, she always does.

Teto began to desperately scrape through her memories of last night.

“Me and the others are going to go out tomorrow, do you want to come?”

“I just want to pass out already…”

“I’ll tell them you said no then”

Teto quickly tapped at her screen, pulling up Kaito’s contact information and calling. As the phone rang, she quickly got up and ran towards the bedroom. Her uneasy body ready to make her trip.

“Hello? Teto? Is that you?”

“Where’s Miku at?” Teto rushed out as she threw open the closet door and grabbed a Teto-themed and a Miku-themed duffle bag.

“I-I don’t know, she just went on her own way for something before the alarms came off.” Outside of Kaito’s voice, Teto could hear some panicked noise from people around, even the voices of the other idols.

“What do you mean? She went with you guys, you need to fucking know where she is!” Teto scrambled to Miku’s desk, throwing the laptop and notebook into the teal bag.

“We’re all coming out of the spot between Nozawa and the river, she should be near, I’ll ask the others.”

Teto couldn’t hear the exact words but heard the voices of Kaito asking the other idols. Kaito’s lacking response fueled her panic and agitation.

She grabbed her computer bag and also threw it into her own bag, rushing over to the large closet to grab more things. She started by filling the red bag with her music video outfits. Miku’s weren’t kept at their home, but she’d shove into Miku’s bag the outfits she did.

“None of us know bu-”

“Fucking find her Kaito! She went with you guys, you know the area she has to be in, use your damn brain and find her!”

Teto hung up, and used what little self-control she could muster to put her phone in her pocket and not throw it into the nearest wall.

Her own bag was full of her costumes, Miku had her laptop, a notebook, and some of her outfits. She took one final look around the room before seeing the Miku plush on the edge of the bed, and the one of herself on the floor. Miku loved those stupid things.

Teto moved to grab them, and then shoved them into the little space remaining in Miku’s bag. She zipped it up and slung the strap over her shoulders, picked up her own bag, and began to run out of the room towards the front door. Kaito told her they were somewhere between Nozawa street and the nearby river. She’d meet up with all of them there.

All of them.

ー

Her legs were killing her, but she couldn’t get herself to stop moving. If a run was forced into a walk so that she couldn’t collapse, then she’d walk as fast as she could before being able to run again. She didn’t even care about what was causing the evacuation, she didn’t read it and wasn’t going to stop and ask, she needed to see Miku at the evacuation point.

She had already gone most of the distance, and she was running down Nozawa street. There weren't as many people at this route, either because they already made it far away or they were at other routes. But she could make out silhouettes of a few military personnel up ahead on the street, armed and suited up. Whatever was going on that elicited this reaction logically should’ve mattered more to her than it did.

“Come quick, it’s safe behind us!” One of them loudly yelled. It was the first sound Teto had heard that wasn’t her breathing or footsteps.

She ran past them, and seemingly out of the evacuated area.

There were cluttered groups of people spread out in the streets. Some were families who just left their house for what they didn’t know would be three years, others being friends who unfortunately found themselves in the area at the wrong time.

Teto slowed her pace down to a medium walk, her head quickly turning left to right as she looked for the colorful hair of any of the idols. The adrenaline inside of her keeping her from falling over or giving in and sitting down. She would keep walking and looking around.

As she began to pass a perpendicular street, she saw long pink hair that stood out amongst the darker hair colors of other groups. Next to them were two shorter people with yellow hair, and without registering any other character in the group, Teto moved over to them.

Kaito, who was facing towards the entrance of the street, immediately noticed Teto. His sudden focus caused the others to turn and look at her as she finally reached them.

“Teto!” Luka exclaimed.

“Are you okay?” Meiko followed up, looking at Teto’s more disheveled appearance.

“Miku.” Teto muttered to herself as she looked around the group, desperately.

“What?” Rin asked.

“Miku.” Teto said louder, “Where’s Miku?”

Everyone’s expressions changed from concern to looks of sympathy on the older idols’ faces, to looks of pain on the younger two.

Kaito looked at the ground for a moment before steeling himself and responding, “No on-”

“She was with you all, where is she?” Teto began to yell, not caring for Kaito’s worthless reply.

Meiko stepped further, a little in front of Kaito, “Te-”

“Where is she?!” Teto harshly screamed.

“We don’t know!” Rin shouted, wiping her eyes and trying her best to keep herself together.

Teto looked around at the group, she started to feel an unbearable hatred for them. Miku went out with them, and they couldn’t even figure out where she was.

“Did you even search?!”

Luka looked at Rin before focusing on Teto, “Teto, we trie-”

“Oh? You tried? Good job! But what the actually fuck does it even matter when nothing happened?!”

Luka’s brows furrowed, Teto was obviously hurting them with her words, but Luka wanted to diffuse this. She understood that Teto was hurting horribly, and that was why she was lashing out.

But Teto didn’t give them any longer to speak, if they couldn’t do it, she would.

Teto threw the bag she was carrying onto the ground, disorderly grabbing the strap of the one on her back and thrusting it down onto the other one.

“Teto, what are you doing?” Kaito took a concerned step forward.

“I’m going to find her.” Teto said coldly, a stark contrast to her guttural yelling.

“Teto you can’t, they won’t let you back in.” Meiko quickly spoke, but Teto had already turned around.

As she did, she took one step forward. And as if a memory clicked, there was a spark in Len’s eye.

Right before she was about to dash back into the military guarding the street into the area, Len rushed in front of her. Pushing her back by the shoulders.

“Out of the way!” Teto yelled as she began to shove back against Len.

“No! They won’t let you back in! You can’t do anything!” He yelled back, turning his face to the side as Teto wildly threw her arms around. His body was already hurting badly from the impacts.

“You can’t do anything! You did nothing! I’m not going to give up like you!” Teto yelled back with a complete disregard for what anyone else thought about what she’d do or what she was saying.

“Teto!” Len turned to face her directly, “You would only risk yourself! I can’t let you-”

Crack

Thud

“Len!” Rin screamed.

It didn’t even register to her at first what she did. Her ears deafened and everything else out of her focus blurred. The only thing she saw was Len on the ground in front of her with his hands over his nose. Blood began to seep from between his fingers, flow down his chin, and trickle onto his clothes.

Rin ran over to her brother, teary-eyed and scared. Len looked fully disoriented, his brain trying to understand what just happened.

“You don’t get to choose what I do! No one does! When you fail to do something so damn simple, that doesn’t count me out of it as well!" Teto dug her fingers into her palms, “Just because you can’t understand how much it’ll fucking hurt someone else doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist! You don’t get what any of this means to me! You don’t understand this pain!” Teto firmly placed her fist against her heart with a hard impact.

Rin turned to Teto with an extremely hurt and pained expression. She yelled at her with pure anger, but Teto didn’t hear any of it. She turned away from the siblings and saw the shocked expressions of the others. She felt her anger and resolve disappear completely. She regrettably looked back at Len and Rin, who was still yelling at her.

Extreme shame wasn’t something Teto often felt. And even in the moments that she did, it was never near this extent. She didn’t feel the resolve to rush in and do anything anymore, she felt the need to run away.

So she grabbed her bags and did.

ー

“Hello! You’ve reached Hatsune Miku, please leave a message!”

“H-Hey… Please call back. I did something stupid. I can’t.. I…”

It had been hours since she was at the evacuation point, and the sun was already disappearing. Making the world dark as she slowly walked down an empty street. The only sound besides her pathetic mumbling being the river below it.

She hit the call button again.

“Hello! You’ve reached Hatsune Miku, please leave a message!”

“You can’t be gone. Please. I-I only really have you. You can’t leave me, please…”

She choked out a breath, sobbing for a moment.

“I need you… I d-don’t have many friends of my own. And I told you everything… You meant so-.. Please, please be okay…”

Teto’s legs were trembling, she shouldn’t be able to walk anymore, she should’ve collapsed forever ago.

Teto felt her body lower as her legs finally stopped being able to hold straight. And she fell onto her hands and knees. Her phone dropped beside her onto one of its corners.

She pushed the duffel bag on her back off of her and weakly crawled to grab the phone.  She pressed the power button, but the broken screen didn’t light up. She pressed it a few more times, but nothing happened.

“Damn it!”

She gritted her teeth together and tightened her grip on the phone before throwing it at the street wall across from her.

She moved back before she rested against the half wall on her side. Hugging her knees against her chest as she began to cry her heart out.

Minutes passed, and not one thought in her head helped her come to terms with anything.

She pushed one of her feet out and hit the bag. She let out a frustrated wail before kicking it. And the physical movement, while feeling demanding, was the only thing that made her feel something besides distraught.

She weakly pulled herself up from the ground and grabbed the strap of the red bag full of her idol outfits

“It doesn’t even matter. I fucked it all up anyways. I don’t need any of this shit anymore, I don’t want to even look at it!”

In one movement, Teto pulled the bag into an upwards arc by the straps, and threw it off the bridge. Falling against the side wall and watching as it splashed into the water behind her.

“Sayonara.” She seethed.

ー

Teto couldn’t find it within herself to cross over the rest of the street, so she sat against the side with the teal bag beside her. She hid her face in the space between her knees and chest again, only looking up from in between when she heard the sound of a car coming down. She hid her face back in the space, just waiting for the car to pass. But when it was the loudest and in front of her, it stopped. And the door opened, someone looking down at her.

“Teto?” A scared, yet finally relieved voice spoke, one that Teto remembered well.

“Gumi?” She spoke in a broken voice.

“Thank god I found you. What are you doing out here?”

Teto looked away, not being able to muster a response. Gumi lowered her volume and looked at the bag beside her.

She stepped out and picked up the bag, Teto’s body immediately moved in the direction of it, but she was too tired and weak to react anywhere near in time.

“Here,” Gumi slung it over her shoulder and reached a hand out to Teto, “It’s a long drive to my house, but I’m not letting you stay here.”

Teto looked up at the hand, and shakily reached out to take it. Trying to stifle any emotions that were immediately threatening to come out now that someone was here.

~ ~ ~ – ~ ~ – ~ – – –

The sink held and slowly drained away the contents of the only thing Teto ate today and the result of her built up emotions. She weakly looked up at her reflection in the mirror. There were some tear marks down the sides of her cheeks.

She took a deep breath in. She couldn’t remember how long she spent in the bathroom. Her immediate concern was that the program might’ve ended a few minutes ago, and now Miku would notice and get concerned with Teto’s absence.

Just in case it would end soon and Miku would snap out of her complete focus, she should get out now that she was back in the present.

ー

As Teto pushed open the door and walked out, she immediately looked at Miku’s face. Under her eyes were crimson tear marks. They connected at her chin, and trickled down onto her clothes.

“M-Miku?” Teto’s eyes widened and she started to move from the hallway towards the kitchen.

“Teto…” Miku slowly met Teto’s gaze,  “What did they mean by ex-idol?”