Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Pomni could feel the tiniest blows of wind from the slightly open train window. 

She had to admit that the troupe was made up of completely crazy people, with the ringmaster being the craziest of all, but they travelled comfortably from one performance venue to another.

A week ago, she was sitting by her desk, preparing to burn the midnight oil over the paperwork, but now, she was here, with all her usual worries not plaguing her mind as badly as usual.

Pomni couldn't shake off the feeling of surprise, despite a week passing by already. Why did she even… It still lingered in the back of her mind.

Why?

Why did she agree to join?

She crossed paths with Caine after the show had ended to ask him about the strange adverts that kept filling her inbox despite her best efforts to block them. Before she could register what was happening, she was already signing papers and packing her bag.

An involuntary sigh escaped her. Fate really can flip everything upside down, can't it? She looked down at her phone. Countless calls from, now, her former boss. The guy was still probably so pissed at her that she could already picture his beet-red face.

Not exactly a surprise. She submitted her resignation over email at 10 PM on Sunday. If this circus didn't work out, she'd have to leave no stone unturned just to find a new job.

As her mind began to spiral again, somebody entered her wagon.

"Why so blue?" Jax smirked from the doorway. "I thought you said you'd go for a nap…" He swiftly closed the door behind himself before stepping fully in and making himself comfortable on one of the beanbags nearby. "Well, well, well…" He dragged out, smirk never leaving his face, as his ears perked up while he looked around. She looked him up and down, and she had to admit, there was something about the way he looked when he wasn't wearing his usual unitard that made her feel even more comfortable around him. "Somebody made themselves at home…"

"I changed my mind…" She replied to the previous comment in a quiet, almost shameful tone. Right, she escaped the dining wagon, telling everyone she was tired and wanted to take a nice afternoon nap. Guess he caught her red-handed.

"Don't worry…" He waved his hand dismissively, her eyes glued to his claws for a second or two. "I won't tell anybody. It's gonna be our little secret that mighty Pomni is a loner." His ear twitched as he leaned back in the bean bag, letting out a deep breath.

She sent him a small smile, followed by an even smaller huff. Everyone here seemed crazy, but he was her favourite kind of crazy.

She got up, her steps quiet and slow, before she plopped herself on the second bean bag, next to him.

She opened her mouth to say something, but she was abruptly stopped by somebody slamming the brakes; the harshness with which the train stopped made the bean bag he sat on crash onto hers, their shoulders now inches apart.

Why did her stomach do a backflip?

His eyes locked on her, as if he saw something in her worth looking at, before he jumped back to his feet and offered her a hand to help her get up.

"Well, it looks like we have an unplanned break." His voice sounded slightly strained, but he was still as upbeat as usual. She took his hand, feeling the fur and the soft pads on his palms. With his help, she pulled herself up. "Let's check this out..."

The two quickly made their way through the rest of the wagons before he led her through the open vestibule door. He was the first to jump off the small set of stairs, immediately turning around to face her.

She moved to the edge, but before she could do anything, he took her by her waist, setting her down on the soft ground next to him, as if she weighed nothing at all. A small yelp escaped her before the gentle smile from before returned on her pale face.

"Thank you…?" Pomni uttered awkwardly. He gave a small nod and was about to look around, but was quickly interrupted by Caine's loud voice in the background.

"WELL! LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A LITTLE MIS-SHEEP." The ringmaster's voice echoed through the empty field where they had been forced to stop. Pomni could already see a group of fluffy white sheep sleeping peacefully on the train tracks and raised an eyebrow.

"Sheep? In the middle of nowhere-?" She mutters to herself, but stops, as Jax starts moving towards the rest of the troupe already gathered around the big herd of sleepy sheep.

Pomni pressed her lips in a thin line - why did everyone act as if it was normal?

"You coming?" Jax's voice shook the doubts of her mind, as her legs started moving faster than her mind.

"AS YOU CAN SEE," Caine continued, as loud as ever. Did this guy even know he doesn't have to shout outside shows? "THOSE INNOCENT LOOKING, BEAUTIFUL CREATURES ARE OUR FLIES IN THE OINMENT." He gestured with his cane towards the herd. "I NEED YOU TO WORK TOGETHER AND SOMEHOW SHOO THEM AWAY, WITHOUT MAKING IT WORSE!"

Pomni raised a brow. This guy really makes everything seem like a game - the minor things turning into great adventures.

"Oh, maybe I should get my cats-" Kinger offered, but a tug on the sleeve from Queenie interrupted his great plans.

"Darling, I don't think your beloved carnivores would be gentle enough to handle this situation." Queenie's grip on Kinger's sleeve didn't loosen at all, as she kept him in place, with the softest of gazes focused on him. Pomni could swear, this woman was an angel, or had the patience of one, at least.

"Well, we just need to scare them off…" Jax folded his arms, taking a few cautious steps towards the herd, not to alarm any of the animals yet.

"No, it may cause them to scatter." Ragatha quickly followed his footsteps and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. She looked thoughtfully over the sea of woolen sleepyheads before continuing, "We need to find a way to make them leave the train tracks without giving them a heart attack."

"Maybe…" Pomni really wished she had bit her own tongue before she had spat out that word. It was too late for that now. "… We can just push them aside? How heavy can a sheep be?"

"From 99 to even 365 pounds, Pomni." Ragatha informed her softly, which made Pomni's determination lessen, with her shoulders slumping.

"Okay, right, not the best idea under the sun." The jester admitted, before receiving a reassuring smile from the doll.

"Don't worry. At least you tried."

Silence fell between the members. Idea after idea came to their heads, one more stupid than the other.

"Maybe… we can try herding?" Ragatha finally spoke up, her expression still thoughtful.

"Like… dogs?" Jax raised a brow - he wasn't mocking, just questioning the idea. It sounded stupid, but it may work.

"If we form a loose circle around them, they may move." The ragdoll shrugged. Others started contemplating the idea for a second or two. Pomni's gaze shifted between all of the members before settling on the sheep again.

She could hear others talking in the background, devising a tactic, considering who, where, and when, but her mind was elsewhere.

Suddenly, she became hyper-aware of her clothes against her body and the pressure in her pocket that she had almost forgotten about. She put her hand in the pocket of her hoodie and felt the object, contemplating the idea that had popped into her mind. She then pulled the object out: a small apple that she had taken from the dining wagon on her way to her 'room'.

She cautiously moved towards the herd, holding the apple at arm's length.

"Hey," she called out, her stomach twisting in anxiety almost immediately. She had always been afraid of animals, no matter how big or small. Seeing a few of the sheep jolt awake, she called out again and dangled the fruit at their eye level. "Hey… good, little, uh, feral sheep…" she took a step back, upon one of them leaning in to sniff the air…

While slowly walking backwards, Pomni could hear that everyone had gone silent. She pressed her lips in a thin line - feeling the anxiety kicking in only more, awkward tension making her head spin. She was probably looking like an idiot, wasn't she?

Well, the last bits of dignity she had had just jumped from a skyscraper without a parachute.

She took a deep breath in, swallowing the embarrassment with a bitter aftertaste that it left in the back of her throat, while she continued to lead the animals away using a small, pathetic-looking apple.

"Here you go…!" Pomni exclaimed, throwing the fruit far behind herself.

Well, she hadn't exactly thought this through, as sheep started chasing after it like mad, knocking her over to the ground.

She could hear a few snorts escaping the group. Great, Jester thought, as she brushed blades of grass from her lap. She's going to stick to her black sheep role for even longer now.

A hand soon appeared in front of her face. Those claws.

"Well, look at you, shooting star." Jax's smirk never left his face as he looked down at her fondly and helped her to her feet. As he bent down to brush the last of the grass off her hoodie, she pushed his hand away almost instinctively, immediately inwardly berating herself for doing so.

She looked at the others. None of them had a mocking glint in their eyes, which eased her anxiety slightly and calmed the storm in her head.

"WELL, WELL, WELL!"

Her blood ran cold at the sound of Caine's voice, and she jumped slightly. He had a habit of appearing out of nowhere — or maybe he was just good at staying in the shadows.

"CONGRATULATIONS, MY RADIANT POPCORN KERNELS! YOU DID IT!" The ringmaster swiftly stepped between them, before doing a spin, taking his tophat off, and waving it around.

"I swear, he uses a random-terms-of-endearment generator, or something." Jax whispered to Pomni, which had earned a chuckle out of her, which she quickly choked down.

"YOU EARNED YOUR REST TODAY! TIME TO GET BACK ON TRACK, SUPERSTARS!"

All members started heading back to their train cars at that point. Jax and Pomni lagged slightly behind, making their way cautiously through the high grass.

"Weird." She commented under her breath.

"What's weird?" His ears pricked up, and he propped his hands against his hips, raising his brow. The evening sun cast dark violet shadows across his fur, creating patterns on every inch of his exposed skin.

"Sheep don't usually bed at the middle of traintracks." She looked over her shoulder at the snowy fluff poking out of the grass in the distance.

His smirk flattened, and one of his ears drooped as he contemplated her words for a good minute. He was about to respond when Ragatha approached them just as they were about to enter Pomni's train car.

"Are you alright?" The ragdoll's gaze was fully focused on Pomni. Her eye showed a real, deep concern for the new stuff.

"I… I'm fine. Sorry for that…"

"Sorry?" This caused Ragatha to blink a few times in confusion. Although she didn't understand, the expression on her face made Pomni's heart jump to her throat. "You solved the problem. You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Yeah, you did well, for a newcomer. " Jax chimed in, bumping his shoulder against Pomni's. This earned him a small yet playful eye roll from Ragatha.

Jester felt the warmth she had longed for so much spill into her chest, making her feel as though she were about to turn into a puddle.

And perhaps, for the first time, she felt that this might be her place and her people.

Chapter Text

"Gah-" Jax's face twisted in the mix of disgust and amusement, as he observed her. "Stop doing that- oh my good."

"I'm just stretching." Pomni responded, raising an eyebrow at him as her back effortlessly touched the backs of her legs. She couldn't understand why he always reacted this way, especially considering their occupation — he should be used to all kinds of weirdness she might throw at him.

He crossed his arms, and his ears twitched as he looked her up and down in her unitard, which hugged her body nicely. It was jester-themed with blue and red stripes stitched together with golden thread. In Jax's humble opinion, Ribbit had outdone himself this time.

"No." He turned his gaze away. "You're breaking your back - and the laws of physics." Despite scrunching his nose in disgust, his tone was light and playful. He didn't mean anything bad by that comment; he was just taken aback by how she could fold herself up like a straw, as if she didn't have any bones in her body.

This was quite useful during their trapeze acts, as he never doubted that she would be able to catch him, no matter what angle he was swinging in from. Pomni's unusual flexibility attracted more attention to their circus, increasing their audience and income.

He worked with her for only a week, but it was enough for him to realise she was the one to bite the bullet, no matter how high the bar was. The rabbit would be lying if he said it wasn't impressive. Jax thought he would have to work with her for a long time until she was able to officially join him on the trapeze, but it turned out she was a quick learner. Too quick, but he didn't bat an eye at that.

As he observed her doing her impressive stretching routine, his mind wandered further, and neither of them registered Caine approaching them. Neither the clicking sound of his cane nor his shadow falling over them brought their attention, startling Jax slightly as he jumped at the ringmaster's sudden presence.

"OH, MY ABSOLUTELY SUCCESSFUL SUPERNOVAS!" Caine's voice echoed through the tent, making Pomni stop before she did a kneeing backbend.

"SPONSORS OF TONIGHT'S SHOW HAVE A SPECIAL REQUEST FOR YOU TWO!" Caine continued, pointing the tip of his cane towards Jax, before nudging him with it playfully.

Jax's ears perked up at the mention of a 'request', even though he had doubts about the idea from the start. Something was wrong. Why was Caine telling it to them so early on? Had the old, wealthy guys come up with some crazy idea?

"What request?" The rabbit uttered, arms still crossed, yet now tightening ever so slightly around his slender frame. The bad feeling formed a small pit in his stomach, and he didn't like it one bit.

"OUR SPONSORS ABSOULUTELY LOVED YOUR LAST PERFORMANCE! AND, SINCE THEY ARE GREAT THRILL-SEEKERS, THEY DECIDED TO PAY US TWICE THE NORMAL SUM, IF YOU TWO PERFORM… WITHOUT THE SAFETY NET!"

That made both of them freeze - Pomni could feel cold sweat running down her forehead to her jaw already, while her insides had become unbearably warm with stress. Jax was in a similar state, but in more of a shock than anxiety.

"You can't be serious, Caine." Jax scoffed and furrowed his eyebrows again, trying to hide his dread behind a facade of annoyance. His mind wandered to Pomni. She was good for a newbie, but the thought of her slipping and falling towards the hard ground below filled his chest with an unfamiliar feeling.

"OH, JAX, MY FAVORITE PURPLE RABBIT, OF COURSE I'M SERIOUS! DEADLY SERIOUS, NO PUN INTENDED!" Caine walked between them, then spun around dramatically. "THINK ABOUT IT! THE THRILL, THE ADRENALINE, THE UNDENIED TRUST BETWEEN YOU TWO! IT'S OUR CHANCE - WE CAN BECOME THE MOST FAMOUS CIRCUS IN THE WORLD, IF YOU TWO SUCCEED!"

The two fell silent and, as if they were sharing the same brain, their gazes met at the same time. Pomni could feel cold sweat running down her back. The thought of dropping Jax during that dangerous performance was certainly not a pleasant one. The weight of the situation crushed her shoulders, and her heart beat harshly in her throat.

"Caine, that performance is going to be a flash in the pan." Jax continued, his arms now hanging loosely at his sides, although his fists were clenched. His ears flattened, and he could have sworn his pupils were trembling slightly as he tried to hide the fact that he was starting to panic badly.

"OH, DON'T DO IT TO ME!" Dramatically placing his palm on his upper jaw (forehead), behaving like he was about to faint. "OUR CIRCUS NEEDS ADRENALINE! THE EDGE! I ALREADY PROMISED THEM AN UNFORGETTABLE SHOW!"

Jax's eyes met Pomni's again, and he could almost hear her swallow heavily. He turned to Caine again, feeling more determined than ever.

"Caine, she's not ready." He tried to convince him, but it was no use. He could see a glimmer of something in Caine's two-coloured eyes. It made him feel sick.

"NONSENSE, MY DEAR!" While waving his hand dismissively, Caine turned around, preparing to walk away. "NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED!" and with those words on lips (teeth?) Caine walked away, leaving the two staring at his figure like deer in headlights.

Jax slowly let out a deep breath before looking back at Pomni. His hand moved instinctively to her shoulder, brushing some hair away from her nape. He tried to calm her down, even though he wasn't good at offering comfort other than jokes.

"Do you trust me?" He spoke before he could swallow that question. He watched as she slowly blinked, shaking off her shock, slowly meeting his gaze. The silence and tension between them were palpable. Pomni let out a shuddering breath, her pupils darting around his facial features.

"With my life?" She asked, but he knew he wasn't supposed to answer. His hand slowly trailed down her arm, making her shiver inside. Her heart skipped a beat as she felt his warm palms rub her arm, as if he was trying to ease the biting tension. "… yes."She finally answered, and she could see a flicker of surprise in his yellow eyes. This quickly gave up its place to a warm smile.

"Good. That's good." His tone was calm, his hand continuing to rub her shoulder. "I'm not going to drop you. And you won't drop me as well." He spoke with complete certainty, as if no doubt had ever crossed his mind.

"… I wouldn't trust myself like you trust me." She admitted in a small voice as she slowly pulled herself up from the floor. She couldn't understand why he trusted her so much — or why she trusted him so readily. There was just something about him — and the whole troupe — that made her trust him quicker than she had ever trusted anyone else. It was all so confusing for her anxious mind.

"Come on, Shooting Star." He playfully patted her on the back, smiling slyly. "You're many things. But once you're locked in, you're unstoppable. I'm sure we'll be fine!" Although Jax sounded confident, fear gnawed at his mind. What if he slips and drops her? What if he falls himself?

She only managed to send him a small smile before Ragatha's voice broke their little moment.

"Oh, Pomni! Can you help me with Zeva? "Somebody has to hold her still while I clean her hooves." Ragatha approached them in smooth, bouncy steps. She stopped just a few inches away, invading their personal space, but Pomni was already used to it.

The jester girl raised an eyebrow and immediately pointed at herself as if to confirm that she was the target of the request. Ragatha chuckled warmly as she noticed the gesture.

"It's a good way to overcome your fear, Pomni." The doll leaned down to be at Jester's eye level. "Zeva is a nice filly. She doesn't bite, I promise. You must get used to our circus pets."

Anxiety filled Pomni's chest again, making her confidence sink quickly like a wrecked ship, as her hands clenched at the ruffles of her unitard. She knew the redhead was right; she had to get used to the animals being around eventually. After all, it's not as if Kinger's lions could bite her head off while she was sleeping.

Right?

She glanced at Jax, who nodded his head with a warm smile still on his face. The jester girl sighed and slowly made her way, trailing behind Ragatha.

"You know..." Ragatha began, as Pomni could already make out the silhouettes of horses in the distance. "When you first came here, I was a bit worried. And surprised. It's been a long time since we had a new face in our troupe. I was worried about how others might react, but I see you've already befriended everyone."

Pomni could only blush at the remark. It was true. She formed connections with others pretty quickly — perhaps too quickly, to be honest.

While Pomni grabbed the colourful reins attached to Zeva, Ragatha made her way to grab the tools. The filly looked at her before bumping her head against her shoulder in a friendly gesture, making the girl yelp. She slowly moved her hand along Zeva's muzzle, albeit hesitantly.

"Good, huge, unpredictable horse…" She murmured to herself, and these words caught by Ragatha's ears caused the older woman to chuckle. Pomni watched Ragatha out of the corner of her eye as she moved from hoof to hoof, cleaning any little gravel and sand stuck to the bottom of them.

A question started to bounce around Pomni's head, finally falling out of her pale mouth;

"Actually, how did you join the circus?" The girl's voice sounded more vulnerable than she intended, so she straightened her back to seem more confident.

Ragatha hummed thoughtfully, her focus divided between the task at hand and the girl's question. Finally, she answered.

"I was a real estate agent." The older woman paused briefly after each part of her answer, while reaching a very persistent rock stuck in Zeva's hoof. "Until I started getting emails."

Pomni's eyes widened, and her voice caught in her throat. It sounded like a strange coincidence, but given how strange this whole world was, she didn't know what to make of it anymore.

"Isn't it nice to have a change from a boring job?" Ragatha continued, completely oblivious to Pomni's mental turmoil. "I can finally do what I love, without anybody to judge me." Her voice sounded sad and almost nostalgic. This detail escaped Pomni's attention, however, as she was preoccupied with trying to piece together the strange coincidence.

Jax ended up here because of the persistent emails.

Ragatha ended up here for the same reason.

And so did Pomni.

Jester bit her lip, turning her attention back to the filly, who stood calmly in place.

"Ladies, gentlemen, non-binary and in-between!" Caine's voice echoed through the dark tent. The spotlight was pointed directly at him, which made Pomni feel a little relieved that she wasn't the centre of attention yet. She could make out only shadows sitting around the ring — there were so many people in the audience that she felt her head spin.

She looked towards Jax, who was standing on the other platform. He gestured for her to keep looking up and not look down. As if she had planned to look down any time soon!

"TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! THE NIGHT OF ADRENALINE, THRILLS AND THE ULTIMATE TEST OF TRUST!" Caine pointed the tip of his cane upwards, and the lights turned on, blinding Pomni for a moment and making her feel as if she were boiling from the inside out. "AS YOU CAN SEE - OUR TWO BRAVE ARTISTS ARE GOING TO PERFORM A SPECIAL ACT - WITHOUT SAFETY NET, AND BELTS!"

Pomni closed her eyes and clenched her fists as she heard the gasps followed by silence. If this was how she was going to die, it wasn't how she'd imagined. She opened her eyes, still squinting due to the harsh, cold light, and begged Caine internally to dim it, to spare her some dignity.

Jax could tell she was freaking out, and he didn't blame her. In the three years he had been here, it was the first stunt like that Caine had pulled. It was dangerous, reckless, and suicidal, but they were unable to refuse or retreat. Maybe it was because they cared about their careers, or maybe it was something else — neither of them could pinpoint the reason.

"LET THE FATE DO ITS THING AS IT'S TIME WE BEGIN!"

When Caine said this, the tent fell silent once again. Time seemed to slow down as her body went on autopilot.

Catch.

Departure.

Don't fall.

Don't die.

Jax's heart was pounding so loudly that he wondered if she could hear it. He felt himself growing dizzy, which was not a good sign. He felt a lump in his throat as he gasped, and immediately felt ashamed of himself when he saw the pale hue of her face upon hearing the sound.

Double somersault.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Under the leg catch.

Don't look down - their minds screamed. Each time they had to release their grip on the bar, it felt as though it were their last moment on Earth.

When the final moment came, he saw her hesitate, and his stomach dropped. She launched herself too late, and he felt his blood run cold as he saw the distance between them. His ears started to ring, and his fur stood on end with sheer terror.

Reaching out her hand, she did so in pure desperation. Her heart ached, literally. She felt as if she were having a heart attack; sweat stung her eyes.

The world seemed to stop for a moment and lose its colours. They couldn't see the audience; the terror and gasps went unheard by them.

Then, before everything hit them like a train, he grabbed her forearm and managed to hold her up. Their gazes met as the sound of applause slowly reached them. Both were breathing heavily and felt as though they had just survived the end of the world.

For the first time, he realised how pretty her eyes were: wide and shiny.

"… Gotcha." Jax exclaimed, as if trying to confirm that it was real.