Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a few days after the latest expedition, which meant that the circles under Levi’s eyes were deeper and darker than usual. Not only was there the usual pile of endless paperwork, but also the added burden of field reports to fill out and death certificates to sign. Needless to say, training didn’t stop and neither did cleaning duties. You’d think he’d be thankful for how little time it gave him to think, to be alone with his thoughts, but he was never so lucky. Nothing was ever enough to keep his mind from churning the horrors of what had transpired outside the walls, over and over again until every agonizing detail was carved into his memory. You’d never know it by just looking at him; all you’d think was how busy he must be to look so tired. His unwavering gaze never hinted at the years of loss he had suffered, and even less so at his toxic relationship with sleep.

That night, while even Commander Erwin had dozed off at his desk, Levi had decided it was already morning for him and made his way over to the stables just as twilight turned to dawn. The early morning dew painted his boots a darker shade of brown, and the cool air turned his breath to fog. As he entered, he was greeted with the smell of hay and old wood permeating the air. A few soft nickers greeted him as he picked up a bucket filled with brushes and other grooming tools, and he made his way over to the furthest stall. It belonged to a large black stallion, who everyone within Wall Maria recognized as being the steel-eyed captain’s trusted mount. The steed gave a friendly snort as he saw his rider approach.

“Hey there, I got you something, boy.” He reached into his pocket and revealed an apple. He stroked him gently as the steed nuzzled his palm.

He took his time brushing his horse, careful with every stroke. It was more than just his mount; it was his partner with whom he trusted his life. Slowly, the painful pulsing he felt in his temples started to ease, although the rest of his head still ached.

Suddenly, he heard a squeak. His expression immediately darkened. Could it be? No impossible. He had the cadets clean the stables from top to bottom too often for a mouse to find it even remotely appealing. His skin began to crawl. Mice were disgusting, disease-carrying vermin, the starters of plagues; his hatred of them was only rivalled by his very rational fear of mold.

He heard it again. This time it sounded longer, and perhaps-he shuddered- more numerous.

“Tch…I’m really not in the mood for this.” He mumbled under his breath.

He turned towards where the sound had come from. It was close. Very close. In fact, it didn’t sound more than a few steps away.

His eyes scanned the stable as he remained still, waiting to hear the squeak once more. Sure enough, a moment later his eyes narrowed to the pile of hay at the far-left corner of the stall. Careful not to make a sound, he emptied the bucket of grooming tools, readying it for use as a makeshift mouse trap. He took a few steps forward, crouching like a hunter, preparing himself mentally for a rodent of any size to jump out possibly and most horrifyingly at his face. He reached out with one hand to lift a large chunk of hay.
His eyes widened in shock as he immediately froze in place.

Now this, he had truly not expected.

There, cocooned under a pile of hay was a large orange cat and four tiny kittens curled up against her; one grey, one brown, one white and one black in color.

The mama cat looked up at him with large green eyes, and let out a threatening hiss. He took a step back, tilting his head to the side as he looked the family over. The mama cat’s eyes followed his every movement and he suspected, had she not been so clearly exhausted, she might’ve attacked him a while ago in defense of her young. Normally, the stables were too busy with rowdy soldiers for any animal to pick this as a safe place to give birth. But judging by how tiny the kittens were, it must have happened while the scouts were beyond the Wall, just a few days ago.

He straightened up and raised a brow.

“Well, this is damn inconvenient.” He turned to his horse, who seemed awfully unfazed by his extra roommates. "Did you invite them in?”

His horse snorted, and Levi huffed with the slightest trace of amusement.

“Tch, you definitely did.”

He stood there trying to decide what to do next, the mama cat still watching him intently. A staring contest between them ensued.

“Four kids all by yourself, huh? That’s not easy.” Although his face looked stern and tired, his voice was soft and so were his eyes. He let out a sigh, finally having decided what to do next.

“Well, buddy, you invited them in, so I guess they can just…stay here. For now. Just don’t step on them.” He gave his horse a gentle pat.

Truth was, he didn’t know what to do exactly. He knew cats were independent creatures. Survivors. The ones he had encountered in the Underground had always been feral, distrustful of every human, and just plainly unapproachable. In some ways, like him. This was probably the first time he even got a good look at what a cat actually looked like. He surmised that this mama cat knew exactly what to do to care for herself and her young, and all he could do was give her space, which was fine with him. He already had a plate-full of shit to deal with and at least they’d keep the mice away. He also figured that the stables would get too noisy with everyone-he winced as he internally corrected himself-barely everyone back, and the cat would move her young to another place as soon as her strength was up.

Realizing the sun was now rising, he gathered the bucket of supplies and left the stall, the mama cat still staring him down as he left.

***

The mess hall was buzzing with chatting cadets, albeit with less than usual. But even with reduced numbers, it was still agonizingly loud for his still-aching head. To make matters worse, a literal loudspeaker in the form of a human was seated right next to him.

“Four abnormals! Four! That’s twice as much as usual! How are we supposed to defeat the titans if we don’t even know why some are fast, crawl on all fours, seem smarter than others…” As usual, Section Commander Hanji was trying to convince Erwin that they needed to capture more titans, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Today, the tired captain didn’t even try to feign attention. As Hanji trailed on, pleading their case to the rest of the veterans' table, everyone quietly busied themselves with finishing their plate. Levi took a sip of tea, hiding the tiniest of smirks. Sure, he was somewhat entertained by the spectacle Hanji always managed to put up, but that was his little secret to keep.

“We can get it done in a day! A joint operation with Levi’s squad and my own. Easy peasy!”

“Oi, four-eyes, don’t go volunteering my squad for your crazy plans.”

“Well considering the fact that the likelihood of success will be higher, there’s really no other logical outcome, and the sooner we do it, the more information we can collect until the next expedition.” They said matter-of-factly. A quick glance in Moblit’s exhausted direction revealed that he had already resigned himself to whatever Hanji was proposing. Poor man needed a pay raise.

“My squad needs rest. Oluo shat himself again.” Oluo visibly blushed but remained silent beside his captain, who, feeling a tiny bit mischievous then added. "Ask Miche.”

The gargantuan man eyes immediately flashed wide open with unpleasant surprise. He stopped chewing, spoon full of soggy oatmeal stilled in the air. Then he swallowed slowly, spoon still held in suspense.

“Isn’t it more fitting for the special operation squad to go on this special operation?” He spoke slowly, enunciating every word.

“Not up to it, I see.” Levi retorted smugly.

“That’s not what I said.”

“It’s what we all heard.” The captain took another sip of tea.

“You don’t want to do it either!” Miche exclaimed.

“I’m giving you a chance to prove yourself.”

“I-My squad doesn’t-... Give it to y/n’s squad.”

“Wow, passing on the burden, classy.” Levi said, leaning back in his seat.

“Hey, don’t bring me into this. I’m injured.” Squad Leader Y/n said, pointing emphatically towards her leg.

“Oh please, you’re made of rubber, you’ll be fine in a week.” Miche scoffed.

“Actually, I would prefer it be Levi’s squad,” Hanji inserted.

“Well yeah, who’d want second place when you can have first?” Y/n shrugged. Miche’s eyes immediately widened even more.

“Fine, I’ll do it! My squad has never disappointed the scouts!”

“A truly honorable gesture, volunteering like that, thanks, sniffer boy.” a smirk ghosting Levi’s face.

“Thanks, Miche!” Y/n gave him a thumbs up.

“No, seriously, I don’t think the mission will work without Levi...” Hanji continued.

“Yes! It will!” Miche exclaimed, slamming his fists against the table, making a few plates rattle.

“Alright, alright, why don’t we just adjourn this conversation until next week’s meeting.” Commander Erwin stood up abruptly, making everyone stand as well as he left the hall. Others began to follow suit and also got up to leave, a full day of grueling training ahead. Levi, feeling satisfied with the little show, finished his last sip of tea before starting his way back to his office.

“Hey, Cap’n." Y/n walked up beside him, limping slightly. "Training more fresh meat today?”

“Don’t... don’t call them that.”

“Fine, titan toothpicks? Blood and bone sandwiches? A titan’s daily dose of calcium? What do you prefer?”

He cleared his throat.

“How’s the leg?”

“Considering it’s still attached to my body...I can’t really complain.” Y/n shrugged.

“Hmm the power of positive thinking,” he said, deadpan.

“Should I even ask if you slept at all last night, or the past three nights for that matter?”

“No.”

“Hmm figures.”

“Actually, I did have something I wanted to ask.”

“Hm?” 

“You’re always talking about that cat you have back home. In Trost?” 

“Ah yes, my darling fluffy princess, angelic mouse-killing, adorable, sweet petunia." She clasped her hands as she fawned dramatically. "And you’re always telling me to shut up about her, so what is this about?”

“What did you feed it?”

She lifted a brow. 

“You do realize that this is too out of the blue for me not to be curious right?" She said as her lips curving into an amused smile.

“Just answer the damn question.”

“Levi. Is there a cat somewhere nearby?” She playfully poked his shoulder.

“Are you trying to lose that finger, brat?”

“Hey! You know we’re basically the same age, right?”

“And that changes what exactly?”

“I can’t be a brat! Obviously.”

“If you’ve got a bratty attitude, then you’re a brat, brat.”

“You’re trying to change the subject; don’t think I don’t know. The cat-”

“Cat? What cat? Your cat? Who said anything about cats? Tch, Y/n maybe your head got injured too.”

“Ok, ok! I was just teasing, shesh, Cap’n. Lighten up. You can feed it chicken, fish, basically meat of any kind, eggs even but not a lot, just not milk or… broccoli.”
“Broccoli would make them sick?”

“No, the milk would. The broccoli would just make them resent you.”

He stared at her blankly and she laughed heartily at her own joke, or rather, at his lack of reaction to it.

“You know, you’re not funny.”

“Uh huh, sure, I think I’m hilarious. Well anyways, have fun feeding your secret stash of cats. I’m off!”

“There’s no-”

She waved him silent as she kept walking away.

“Crazy. I’m surrounded by crazy.” He shook his head and started walking towards his office, where a dreaded pile of paperwork waited for him. He hoped to get through most of it before needing to train the ‘fresh meat’ that afternoon.

Chapter Text

He stared down at his plate. As always, it was sparse. You’d think they’d feed the only soldiers actually fighting titans a bit better. But no, of course not. Everyone is on a perpetual dietary deficit here, and involuntarily so. Perhaps, in the MPs' infinite wisdom-found right in their asses-emaciated Survey Corps soldiers would look less tasty to titans, resulting in less casualties. Yep, sounds about right, he thought, pocking at the slop of vegetables on his plate.

But at least there was a small slice of chicken he could salvage. After everyone had turned into their rooms for the night, he made his way over to the stables, the moonlight bright enough that no lantern was needed. Peeking into his horse’s stall, he saw that the mama cat and her kittens were still there, only partially covered by hay. She hissed loudly as he entered. He gave his horse a few soft pats before slowly crouching down.

“Shush, it’s okay. He said in a soothing voice. I am not here to disturb you.” He unwrapped the piece of chicken. She immediately perked up, her nose sniffing the air. But she made no attempt to move closer. A smile ghosted his lips. He took apart the piece, tearing it into manageable shreds. He then presented it on the small wax wrapper and edged it closer to her, before taking a few steps back.

She stared at the chicken, then back up at him, then back at the chicken.

“What? You don’t like chicken?”

She meowed.

“It's not poisoned. Scout's honor.”

She meowed again, eyeing the chicken longingly.

He thought about just leaving, but part of him wanted to see her at least take a bite. She stayed perfectly still, as did he. A few moments passed, then slowly, the mama cat wiggled out of the warm cocoon of hay, and edged closer to the meaty prize. Immediately, her kittens began to cry out in protest of her lost warmth.

“Shush, shush, your mom’s got to eat, brats.” He whispered sternly but softly, as though reprimanding small children.

The mama cat cautiously sniffed the chicken, and gave him one last suspicious stare, before starting to nibble on it with great appetite. Feeling triumphant, he continued to watch until she finished her meal, and returned to her kittens. He then quietly backed himself out of the stall and said in the softest voice.

“Good girl.”

***

It had been a few weeks since Levi had adopted his new routine. Almost everything else stayed the same, but each night he visited the cat and her young with whatever piece of protein had been for dinner. As the days went by, the mama cat no longer greeted him with a hiss, but with accepting silence. This he saw as significant progress. Part of him expected her to be gone each and every time he peeked into his horse’s stall, and he would never admit to the small swell of joy he felt in his chest every time he found them still there.

But tonight was different. He hadn’t had a moment to himself. Some cadets had gotten in some stupid skirmish and started a fight, which meant disciplining and obviously more paperwork. Erwin insisted. Damn protocols. He had even skipped dinner and instead opted to run on more than a few cups of black tea. Pushing his finished paperwork to the side, he glanced out the window to see the moon starting to rise into the night sky. He definitely felt a bit guilty, but he figured that the mama cat was more able to leave her kittens to hunt now that they were a bit older and their eyes had opened. He sighed, trying to decide whether he should start tackling the second pile of paperwork staring at him from the far-right side of his desk, or grab a piece of bread to tide him over first. A small grumble from his stomach spurred him towards the door and down stairs to the mess kitchen on the first floor.

“Cap’n, what a surpri-”

“No.”

“All I said was-”

“Do me the favor of silence, alright?”

“Hmph. You’re nicer to Hanji than to me.” Y/n said turning back to the cupboards she was searching.

“I’m not, actually. Where the hell is the bread?” He too, was now going through the cupboards.

“So, you’re saying I’m your favorite?” Her voice obviously teasing. "Far-left cupboard.”

“Don’t try and feel special. You’re equally insufferable.” Bread now in-hand he huffed. "Where’s the damned cheese?”

“And here I thought we were such close friends. How disappointing. Look two shelves up.”

“Friends don’t torment each other now do they? Why is nothing where it usually is?”

“Still not over it, I see. You know, that prank was over a month ago. I think Hanji’s squad was in charge of cleanup, actually.”

“You wasted tea. Tch, figures, organization is not their strong point.”

“Oh c’mon, the tin was nearly empty! It's not like I ruined it all.” She came up beside him, leaning her elbow on the counter as he sliced the bread and cheese.

“It was my favorite blend. Now get your dirty arm off the counter.”

“It was worth it.” She winked and leaned back as she rested both arms. "You tried so hard not to react. Humanity’s strongest vs an ungodly amount of black pepper, just the right color so you wouldn’t notice it mixed with your tea. I’ve never seen your face turn that color, just thinking about it-”

“You don’t appreciate the patience I have with you.”

“It was harmless fun.”

“I couldn’t taste anything properly for three days.”

“And I apologized. Tea is off-limits for any future torment, promise. Happy?”

“No. But some silence might change that.”

“Fine. Enjoy your 2 am sna-.”

Suddenly, a shrill yowl was heard from outside, cutting her off. The hair on both their necks stood up.

“What the hell was that?” she whispered.

His eyes widened and immediately narrowed as his mind registered what the sound meant. It was unmistakable; the sound of pain, of struggle, of death. Without another word, he dashed out of the kitchen, his destination outside.

“Hey wait up, where are you going?” she called out after him, not understanding his odd reaction.

The cold night air turned his breath to fog as he raced towards the source of the sounds, to the edge of the forest that stood behind the stables. His steps stilled and his entire body froze in place. His eyes widened at the sight.

Oh fuck, oh no...

He was too late. Blood splattered across the grass, the smell of iron and guts polluted the fresh night air. There, just barely covered by shadows was a large figure of an animal with two glowing yellow eyes. It took a few more seconds to distinguish that it was a coyote, and as the clouds above uncovered the moon, Levi’s eyes were able to focus on the body it held in its jaws. Orange striped fur, bloodied and matted from struggle, dangled limply from the coyote’s mouth. It was obvious that its neck had been snapped clean. For a second the scene overlay with a memory, and the mama cat was replaced with a human caught in the jaws of a crooked toothed titan. He blinked the image away, reached to the ground and grabbed a rock. Acting completely on instinct, he raised his arm up and back, his aim directed at the coyote’s head. His teeth clenched in anger.

Then, regaining composure, he lowered his arm and released his grip on the stone. As it fell to the ground with a dull thud, his hand curled into a tight fist. What was the point? The cat was already dead. Let the coyote have its meal.

He heard that distinct voice, deep inside of him. The same voice that never granted him a peaceful slumber. Your fault. All your fault. Always. It chanted ceaselessly. Had he stuck to his routine and brought the cat some food, it wouldn’t have ventured out to hunt. It wouldn’t have been killed and the kittens wouldn’t be left orphans. Your fault. This is your doing.

Y/n’s hand on his shoulder silenced the voice. She had finally caught up to him, with only a moment to process the scene before the coyote dashed into the forest with his prey.

“Levi…”

A more pressing thought dawned on him. The kittens. He spurred his steps towards the stables, once again leaving Y/n behind before uttering a single sentence of explanation.
“Ah fuck, could you at least explain? Or slow down?” She yelled out, again already far behind him.

He burst through the doors of the stable; steps light and quiet but very urgent. Ignoring even his horse as he entered the stall, he reached for the pile of hay all the while holding his breath.

Sound asleep. Curled up against one another. All four kittens accounted for. The brown one noticed his arrival and let out a tiny meow in greeting, having grown accustomed to his now welcome presence in the past few weeks. This woke up the others, who also looked up at him with unmistakably smiling eyes. He pushed back the tiniest amount of grief he felt welling up his throat, threatening to spill. These little ones had no idea. Their mother was never coming back. At least he, hadn’t been left wondering.

He heard Y/n gasp behind him, putting together the puzzle pieces. Still facing the kittens, he searched his mind for what he could possibly do next. He frowned deeply when he found himself at a loss.

“Any ideas?” he asked.

“Well, they’re too young to care for themselves without a mother.” Y/n said, still standing outside the stall, not wanting to scare the kittens.

“No shit, genius. I'm asking for solutions.”

“Well, the solution is staring at you pretty obviously.”

She stared at him, tight lipped. He shook his head.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Do you have a better option?”

“I am not letting four wild animals loose in my office, lieutenant.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, they’re not wild. Also, it's squad leader, stop forgetting I was promoted.”

“Regardless, I don’t have the time or resources to…”

“I’ll help you! Look, once they’re a bit bigger they’ll probably go off on their own and find some farmer’s barn to make their home. But for now, it’s either we take care of them, or they’ll end up like their mom just now.” Silence lingered in the air as Levi contemplated his options; one of the black kittens clumsily left the cluster of fur. It walked up to the captain, who was still crouched down, and for the first time ever, rubbed up against his leg while letting out a small meow.

“Fine.” He knew deep down it was a bad idea. Even his headache was coming back.

“Congrats, Levi. You’re a dad now. Don’t worry, I won’t snitch to Erwin.”

“Shut up. I hate you. I hate this.” He buried his face in his hands, he could feel his headache getting stronger.

“Hey, what is it you always say? No regrets, right? This’ll be fun.” She giggled. He groaned.

“You’re helping me. That’s an order.”

“Sure thing, Cap’n.”

Chapter Text

Fatherhood. The one thing Levi was almost certain he was not suited to, was now sprung on him by destiny even though the children weren’t even human. How many places could a kitten the size of his fist hide? Infinite, he soon found out. The number of times he felt his heart nearly give out thinking one of the kittens had vanished into thin air was getting dangerously high. Not to mention the stress of having to scoop them all up and hide them every time someone knocked at his office door. Just put them in his sleeping quarters and close the door? Impossible. Their whiny meows turned to demanding shrieks if he did, which most certainly could be heard from down the hall. On the bright side, it seemed they had fully accepted him as their new guardian. Rubbing up against his leg, and even climbing their way up to his shoulders. They would immediately begin to purr when he picked them up, latching their tiny claws onto his shirt and nuzzling their little wet noses into the crook of his neck. Had he been annoyed by the loose fur? The slight snot? The endless harassment? Yes. But only for a few milliseconds. Which was the amount of time it took for them to look up at him with their big, trusting eyes.

But there was one problem.

“Y/n. Y/n. Oi! Squad leader Y/n, Open up.” The captain’s increasingly distressed voice upped in volume with every knock at the door.

“Hey, Cap-”

“My office. Now.”

“But-” The terrifying expression he wore immediately silenced any protests and sent a chill up her spine.

“Yes, sir.” She even gave a small salute.

Once they were in his office, he presented her with a small specimen. A tiny little bug, caught on a fine-toothed comb.

“Fleas? You just need to give them a bath”

“I know, smartass. I’m the clean one here, remember? I just need help handling them. They’re like holding a wet bar of soap when they’re trying to get away.”

“Gotcha.”

The two soldiers had no idea they were headed into certain battle, and would be thankful that it was the end of the day with no further meetings or training.

It was certainly a blood bath, and a very soapy one. How much damage could a kitten’s claws do? Certainly enough to cover one’s forearms with shallow but painful cuts.

At the end of it all, four kittens were sparkling clean, with every flea having been either picked off or drowned. As they pranced around the office, the two humans silently bandaged each other's battle wounds.

“Well, this is romantic.”

“Shut up and stay still.” He shushed as he applied ointment to an especially long cut right on her palm.

“And unnecessary too, might I add.”

“Sure, if you want an infection,” he said, still deeply concentrated on his task.

“Builds up the immune system.”

“Hmph not always.” His tone hinted at something, but Y/n chose not to pry. Finishing up with a bandage, he stood up, went to his desk and got out four tiny plates.

“Ok, brats, time to eat.” At his words, the kittens immediately lined up in a perfect row. Looking up at him with expecting eyes.

“Wow, so you trained them to line up for food, but you couldn’t discipline them when it comes to bath time?” Y/n said with a raised brow.

“I’m doing great for someone who’s never had a cat, what’s your excuse?”

“I’ve never had to bathe my cat!” She exclaimed, a reddish tone on her cheeks.

“Clearly.” He placed an array of leftovers on each plate quickly, knowing the kittens were short on patience. As they began to munch contently on their meal, Levi stood back up and looked them over attentively.

“Are you... just going to stand there?” Y/n’s expression genuinely quizzical.

“Brown has the biggest appetite and tends to steal food from Black, so I have to watch them eat.” he explained plainly.

When she didn’t say anything, he looked back to see her face turned to shock.

“Close your mouth before a bug flies in.”

“You call them by their color?” She stared at him in disbelief. He shrugged affirmatively.

“What did you call your horse then? Horse?” She snorted.

“Is that a problem?”

Her jaw dropped back open.

“No, I meant that as a joke… you-you actually named your horse…Horse? For real?”

“It was that or the Duke of Destruction.”

She tightened her lips and squinted her eyes, feigning a moment of annoyance before releasing a sigh.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Have you heard yourself talking?”

***

A few days later, Levi walked into his office in a shit mood. He had been in a meeting all morning, which had concluded with his squad getting forcibly roped into Hanji’s suicidal plan to capture titans. That’s right. Not a titan. Titans. Plural. Honestly, he was a hairpin away from murdering the next person who spoke to him. With any luck, it would be Hanji themselves.

He scanned the room, expecting to see the kittens bundled together on the floor. It was that time of day where the sunlight hit just right and warmed the place up just perfectly. But they weren’t there.

“Grey? Brown?” He ducked a look behind his desk. "White? Black?”

Nothing.

He moved on to his living quarters, just a door away. Everything was quiet, and eerily still. His eyes searched but found no trace of the kittens. The idea of murdering Hanji was now wholly replaced with growing concern. Three days ago, he might’ve felt a wave of panic rise from his chest but by now he knew better. He combed through the place calmly, confident that he would find them any second now. But he didn’t.

“Oi, come on out.” He said, sternly.

Silence.

Suddenly, an idea popped into his head, remembering where they had lived for the first few weeks of their lives. He sat on his bed before shifting the pillows to the side. Sure enough, under them were the four kittens, comfortably entangled together in a deep sleep.

“There you are, naughty brats.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he stroked Black’s head. By now, the anger from today's meeting was all but dissipated.

One by one, they opened their eyes and acknowledged his presence. Black was the first to move away from his siblings, before waddling over and settling on Levi’s lap. Following suit, the others pranced and hopped over as well, each trying to claim their place on his person. He distributed his hands between them, making sure each got the same amount of loving affection as their purring filled the room. Getting up on their hind legs, Brown and Black reached up to nuzzled his neck, giving his cheeks a few licks each.

“Oi, I’ve got work to do.” He tried to protest, realizing he was about to become their new napping cushion. But he couldn’t bring himself to push them off.

He laid back onto his bed in defeat, allowing them to use the entire stretch of his torso as bedding. They immediately settled in, nuzzling into each other and back into a peaceful sleep.

“Tch, alright fine…I suppose I can start in a bit.” He mumbled, trying to sound annoyed. The rhythmic purring slowly relaxed his body. Everything was again quiet, still and calm; so much so that he could hear their little heartbeats pulse to the rhythm of his own heart. His lids slowly began to feel heavy. In his bedroom, now bathed by soft afternoon sunlight, he fell asleep in his bed for the first time.

Chapter Text

Levi shot up from his bed as he was rudely awoken by loud rapping at his door. The kittens had already scurried off him and towards the unpleasant sound, seemingly excited to greet the unwanted visitors.

“Who is it?” He barked, still disoriented from the deep rest he had just gotten.

“LEVIIIIIIIIIII!” Hanji burst through the door, followed by Y/n. How could you hide this from me! I thought we were friends, I thought we kept no secrets you and I!”

Levi raised a single brow at Y/n, who gave a timid wave.

“I’m sorry, Levi, I was threatened.” She shrugged apologetically.

“Hm, right.” He said deadpan, fixing his slight bed hair before anyone could notice.

“Indeed. Hanji figured it out from the fur on my jacket. Oops.”

“I feel I should be more insulted by how much everyone forgets that I’m actually, very smart. Genius, even. Most would say.” Hanji stated flatly before scooping up Grey and beginning to coo at him with adoring affection.

“Most?” Levi mused.

“Most.” Hanji affirmed as they stroked under the kitten’s chin. What’s this little one's name?”

“Grey.”

A pause.

“Fitting.” They nodded and continued to gush over its tiny pink nose.

“See? Hanji gets it.” He said smugly. Y/n rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Eiiiiiiiiiiiii so cuuuuuuuuuute!” They exclaimed in pure glee. They had put Grey down, and were currently smushing their face against Brown’s fluffy body.

“Oi, careful. They’re fragile at this age.”

“Such a protective father.” Y/n smirked.

“Shut up.”

“Hey Levi.” Hanji’s tone was suddenly serious. "Can I have this one? I’m feeling a connection.”

“Don’t make this weird, four-eyes.”

“I’m being serious! It's the same feeling I get when I look a big 'old titan in the eyes!”

“Now why would you think that would be a convincing argument?” He frowned.

“Why wouldn’t it be? I love titans.”

“They do look alike.” Y/n noted.

“Me and titans?”

“No, you and the brown kitten, obviously. We technically all look like titans.”

“You two sure do.” Levi inserted.

“True, titan Levi would just be a normal-sized human.” Hanji nodded to themselves. Y/n stifled a laugh as Levi’s expression darkened significantly. But seriously, Levi, what are you going to do with them?”

He shrugged.

“Whatever they want. They can go whenever they choose to.”

“They won’t willingly leave you, Levi.” Y/n shook her head. Something about that sentence made him clench his jaw, but it passed unnoticed.

“I bet I could find a few merchants that would love to have them keep their storerooms mouse free! Whaddaya say, Levi, want me to use my unparalleled social charms to find these cuties new homes?” Hanji said, determination gleaming in their eyes.

He stayed silent as he thought over the proposal. He knew he couldn’t keep them here forever. The Survey Corps was no place for a cat, let alone four kittens. But in the privacy of his own thoughts, he had hoped he could’ve kept them awhile longer.

“Sure, do what you want.” He said, perfectly masking any reluctance.

“Okay! Rest assured. You can count on me!” They beamed.

***

It took Hanji more than a month to fulfill their mission, which Levi wasn’t mad about at all. But finally, they found a small-town shopkeeper willing to take on the young cats. Willing, was actually a bit of an understatement. He had been ecstatic at the proposal. The town was actually dealing with a bit of a mouse problem.

The shopkeeper also happened to be the first person that Levi hadn’t despised at first glance. High praise, for sure.

“You sure you don’t want to come?” Y/n insisted.

“See them off?” Hanji added.

Today was a day off for the soldiers, so they would ride into the town, half a day’s ride away, to turn over the young cats. But Levi waved them both off.

“Unlike you two, I actually have work to do.”

The kittens, now having grown much larger, were paired up and put in a satchel they’d be comfortable in for the trip. Their heads poked out, and all four looked at Levi quizzically. He turned away and went to shuffle the paperwork on his desk.

“Should we let them say bye to Horse?” Hanji asked.

“Don’t be stupid. There’s no need.” In reality, he had already done exactly that earlier that morning.

“Ok, well we’re off then! Should be back by tonight.” Y/n waved as they neared the door.

“Don’t rush back.” Suddenly, a loud meow of protest rang out through the room. Black, the spunkiest of his bunch, wiggled out of the satchel and dashed to the desk. He hopped on elegantly, meowing again loudly before nuzzling his cheek into Levi’s hand. The captain stroked him for a few moments, before picking him up gently, walking over to Hanji, and placing Black back into the satchel. Black didn’t resist, but simply stared with confusion in his large green eyes.

Once left alone and in silence, Levi tried to busy his mind with the paperwork he had somewhat neglected these past few weeks. Ignoring the growing heaviness in his chest, he rationalized that this was for the best. It was, after all. For them.

But for him? That tiny, prying voice in his head said that this is how it’ll always be, taunting. Everyone will always leave.

Chapter Text

A whole month and a half had passed. A whole month and a half of Levi dragging himself through the daily motions of life with little to no sleep for days at a time. He had been in a noticeably bad mood since the cats were gone. But no one knew that except for Hanji and Y/n. The rest of the Survey Corps were left wondering why the captain seemed to have an extra edge of sadism during training, and why his general patience for any bullshit was razor thin. Hells, even Erwin had gotten on his nerves.

It was early morning on the chosen day for Hanji’s titan-capturing mission. Only three squads were being sent out; Hanji’s, Y/n’s and his. That was all Hanji’s plan required. It looked simple enough, almost a good plan if you didn’t account for the absolutely unnecessary risk this all was.

Set up a trap in the abandoned village to the East, lure a few titans in, what could possibly go wrong? Everything. Always. Everyone in the Survey Corps who didn’t know that was already dead.

His spine tingled with adrenaline as the gates opened. His senses alert, and his hands steady, he urged his horse forward. A cloudy sky and fresh clean air greeted the soldiers as they left the safety of the walls. Soon, the sound of thundering hooves resonated across the usually quiet fields.

“Disperse! Meet up at the rendez-vous point!” Hanji yelled over the wind.

“Stay alert. No casualties today, understood? This is a simple retrieve and retreat.” The captain’s voice was harsh and serious, but steady and calm.

“Yes, sir!” His squad replied, resolve in their voice.

Flares went up in the sky, the three squads helping the others avoid titans as much as possible. Only Y/n’s squad was charged with actually leading a titan into the trap.

But they couldn’t evade them all.

“Petra, Gunther, take it down!” Levi commanded as an abnormal ran towards them on all fours. Springing into action, they launched themselves into the air with power and grace. They made quick work of the abnormal and returned to their horses with no incident, earning an approving nod from their captain.

“Sir, there’s a fog rolling in from the West.” Eld said, an edge of nervousness in his voice. "Will we make it to the village in time?”

“We’ll find high ground if it catches up to us. Pick up the pace!” He urged his horse forward, faster. The rest followed suit.

They arrived at the rendez-vous point before the fog, Hanji and their squad already setting up the nets and trappings. Dismounting his horse, he used his ODM gear to fly onto the roof where Hanji stood.

“Hanji! There’s fog coming, your plan's impossible if we can’t see shit.”

“We still have time; we’ll get it done before that happens.” They dismissed his concerns.

“Fucking hope so. I’m not letting my people get picked-off because of the damn weather. Keep an eye out for other titans!” He commanded his squad.

“You saw the flares, Y/n is on her way. Moblit! Get ready!”

The thundering of hooves was indeed drawing closer. But so was the fog on the other side of the horizon.

“Fuck. This is cutting it too close. Hanji! We have to call it off.”

“We have time, Levi!”

Just then, Y/n and her squad broke through the trees at the edge of the village, a smiling titan running in a wobble behind them.

“See? We’ll make it!” Hanji asserted with a wild grin.

“Captain! Four titans spotted in the trees to the rear!” Petra yelled out from the rooftop of another abandoned house.

“Alright, engage! Kill them before they take advantage of the fog!”

“Yes, sir!”

“Hanji! Do you know how fucking hard it is to keep just one titan following you and not fucking ten?” Y/n yelled from her galloping horse, steaming blood splattered across her uniform. There was already one person missing from her squad.

“Just ride forward!” Hanji yelled back, pointing towards the center of the village.

“Right, right, I fucking know!”

Seconds later, the trap fell upon the wobbling titan like a streamlined row of dominos.

“Flawless!” Hanji curled their fist in victory.

“Hanji, we have to-” Suddenly, a blood curdling scream rang out. The fog had caught up to them. Visibility was fast becoming non-existent.

“Oi! Get in the tall trees, now!” Levi’s voice boomed, but the rest could hardly see where he was, let alone get a clear shot of the trees.

Everyone fell silent. It was the stillness before the tempest. Blades unsheathed, the soldiers stood ready. Those who could went back-to-back with another to help cover blind spots. Others, weren’t so lucky.

“AHHHHH.” Another scream echoed. Followed by a sickening crunch and silence once more.

Levi knit his brows. This setting was eerily similar to one he had lived so long ago and that had cost him so much. He dismissed his thoughts and clenched his teeth. Since when did he ever agree to wait around so helplessly for death?

A titan’s ugly face emerged from the fog.

He launched himself into the air with blurring speed, cutting through the titan’s nape like butter to a hot knife. Another enemy appeared, hands attempting to grab him mid-flight. He swung his body upwards, evading the titan with ease before sending it to hell. Attracted to the fight, the other titans flocked towards him, revealing themselves in a terrifying mass. He welcomed them with blood and death, taking them down one by one with effortless grace. Soon, he heard the clash of other blades join the fight. The close proximity of the enemy helping with visibility. Were they actually going to pull this off with only two casualties?

Suddenly, he felt a jolt and was hurled towards the ground. His ODM gear had malfunctioned mid-flight, one of the motors fuming as a line snapped. Quick with his reflexes, he tried to recover with the other line and almost succeeded. Almost. He would have been fine if not for a stumpy leg intercepting it, a strong stride sending him crashing against the titan’s body.

Receiving the blow as well as he could, he redirected his flight to the nearest rooftop he could see. He landed, but barely standing.

He felt a stabbing pain run up his left arm, followed by warmth he could only assume was blood. His vision already blurring, he stumbled backwards. Disoriented, he lost his footing and felt his body fall the short distance from the roof to the ground. He grit his teeth in pain, having landed on his wounded arm. He struggled to his feet. Still gripping his blades tightly, it was a miracle they hadn’t cut him when he fell. His strength was leaving him fast, and he knew he wouldn’t remain conscious for long. He knew he had to get to higher ground before that happened.

Shit-

He heard someone call his name as the world around him spiraled. Just how hard had he hit his head? He could’ve sworn he heard his mother’s voice, but he knew damn well that was impossible.

Was he still standing? He couldn’t tell. He thought he felt someone cradle his head, but nothing felt real enough to be sure. May as well have been scooped up by a titan, he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. But he wasn’t ready to die, was he?

He heard more voices, yelling and screaming. Pleading? He prayed for silence; couldn’t he at least have that in his final moments?

Don’t you dare go. The same voice as before begged.

Then he closed his eyes.

Chapter Text

Heavy lids opened to the white walls of the medical wing of the Survey Corps headquarters. Levi slowly sat up, pain shooting through his entire body.

“No, no. Lie back down, Captain, you’re still very weak.” He recognized the nurse from their field medical team. He obeyed, grunting in pain as he slowly lay back down. He closed his eyes, slipping back into a feverish sleep, barely registering both Hanji and Y/n standing by his bedside.

***

It was night when he awoke. The moon being the only source of light coming through the window. While sweat thoroughly coated his forehead from fever, the rest of his body shivered with chills. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this sick. It felt so long ago that it must have been while he was still in the Underground.

“Meow.”

What?

He must have heard wrong.

“Meow.”

His eyes flashed open. He willed himself to sit up, breathing heavily as he did. His eyes widened in disbelief. At the very corner of the room, just below the slightly-opened window, a sleek silhouette stood in the shadows. It took a few steps forward, before jumping onto the bed.

“Meow!”

“Black?” He exclaimed with difficulty. The young cat made his way up the bed, and gently rubbed himself against the captain, purring loudly.

“How did you-” He stopped talking from the pain, but forced himself to stroke his visitor. Black looked up at him with knowing eyes, and settled on his lap, both paws kneading the white bedding. Levi slowly laid back down, one hand still in reach of Black, who nuzzled his wet nose against it. You came back. From so far away, too.

“I don’t know if I’m making it out of this one, buddy.”

“Meow.” It almost sounded like a protest.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” Black stared at him with twinkling green eyes and an almost reassuring expression. He closed his eyes once more, hoping sleep would chase the aches away if only for a while. While all else fell silent, only the sound of purring remained.

***

Was it the next morning? Afternoon? No one had told him. But Black was gone by the time he had woken up. Y/n had supposedly watched him sleep for a few hours, which he plainly told her creeped him out. The head doctor was now running his mouth and honestly, he just wanted a shower and a cup of piping hot tea.

“It’s nothing less than a miracle. The infection is completely gone. Honestly, your wounds weren’t life threatening, but we thought the fever might take you. Thankfully, there won’t be any long-term damage to your arm; and you’ll only be left with a scar. But you should come in each week for the next month to keep an eye on that head injury.”

“What of the captured titan?” He ignored the doctor and asked Y/n.

“Hanji is currently having a field day with it. Called it Dahmer this time.” She shrugged.

As soon as the doctor left, he yanked her down by the collar, levelling her ear to his mouth and whispered.

“Have you seen Black?”

“Huh? Why would I-”

“Check my office. Now. Then report back.”

“You’re saying he came back, somehow?”

“Just do it.”

“Fine, ok. Got it.” She straightened up and cleared her throat, before adding, "You sure it's not just your head-”

“Now.” His tone warned not to protest further.

“Yes, sir!” She returned after half an hour.

“No trace of him anywhere, Cap’n.”

“I see. Well then go away.” He turned his back to her, feigning going to sleep.

Evening came and soon night fell. He tried going back to his own room, but was forbidden by the doctor to leave the medical wing for at least another day.

He stared at the ceiling. Had he hallucinated the whole thing?

“Meow.”

He sat up.

“Black?”

“Meow.” The young feline hopped down to the floor from the opened window, quickly jumping onto the bed and greeting the captain with a nudge of the head.

“So, you really did come back.” He spoke softly, enjoying the moment.

Black’s ears suddenly perked up, and it dashed off the bed, jumping up through the window again.

“Hey Levi, Erwin asked me t-” Y/n walked in nonchalantly, but stopped mid-sentence.

“What is it?” He frowned.

“Were... were you just…yes, you definitely were, smiling to yourself? Quite frankly it gave me chills.”

“Hmph.”

“Did you just stifle a laugh?”

“No.”

“Oh gosh, now I’m actually worried. I’ll go call the nurse.” She stumbled back, nearly toppling over a cart full of supplies, and scurried away.

He turned his attention back to the window to see the sleek silhouette of the feline just ghosting the edge of the frame.

Perhaps the Survey Corps did need a cat, he nodded to himself. To keep the mice away. Perhaps, he would allow himself to leave his office windows open, as much as possible. Perhaps, one day he would fall asleep and wake up to Black on his lap or nuzzled against his chest.

His cat, his boy, had come back.

Perhaps, not everyone would leave him after all.