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Chapter Text

Your name is ROXY LALONDE, and your best friend has been murdered.

Anyone but you would find the idea ridiculous. His body is still animated, he still speaks like he's fucking a dictionary, his "ironic" AppleDash abortion fic is still churning out weekly chapters. But you know Dirk Strider. You grew up alongside him. He's your soulmate, your brother, your other half. You can spot this cheap copy a mile away.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde. Your best friend has been murdered. Nobody else has noticed.

It's one in the morning. School only ended a week ago and your sleep schedule is already fucked. Right now you're stirring some vodka into a mug of hot cocoa. Just to feel something.

NOT-DIRK: Roxy? You good?

You flinch, spilling the drink all over your mom's nice marble countertops.

ROXY: jesus dirk what the fuck
ROXY: whend u get so quiet tf
NOT-DIRK: Since Bro got me these for Christmas.

He raises a foot, showing off a pair of hideously fluffy slippers. It's as if he's wearing a pillow on each foot.

ROXY: u kno my mom doesnt have liek any carpets rite
ROXY: ur gonna slip n crack ur head open n die
NOT-DIRK: Nah. I'm too good.

He sits on the countertop next to you. A breath passes and he wrinkles his nose.

NOT-DIRK: Is that alcohol?
ROXY: its hot chocolate
ROXY: dumbass

You're glad you put the bottle of vodka away before he came in.

He hums. It doesn't look like he believes you, but at the least, he's not pushing.

NOT-DIRK: So.
ROXY: so?

You lift the mug to your lips, knocking back half in one go. It burns on the way down.

NOT-DIRK: What are you doing awake at this hour?
ROXY: getting some hot choco duh
ROXY: and u
NOT-DIRK: Just felt like checking in. I missed you while you were at boarding school, you know.
ROXY: u always do

The whole interaction feels so farcical. He's wearing his shades, even though all the lights in the house are off (you've been operating off the smart fridge's glow). You swallow, fingers tightening around the handle of your mug.

ROXY: well
ROXY: im glad to be back
NOT-DIRK: Yeah. I'm glad to have you.

You're the only living thing in the entire house.

He sleeps over that night, just as Dirk so often does. The Lalonde mansion is right beside the Strider crib. You have keys to each other's houses, and fully stocked guest bedrooms. Though, whenever Dirk stays the night, he always ends up on your floor.

When you wake up, your room is empty.

You sigh, hauling yourself out of bed. You don't go to Dirk's bedroom. No point in trying to wake him up.

Your head pounds. The tiled floor of the house is cold beneath your feet. Usually you put on socks, but this morning you couldn't be assed.

You nearly fall down the twisting spiral staircase twice, but catch yourself both times. Your mother's architectural tastes have always aimed less for functionality and more for dramatics. An easy choice for her to make, she's barely here.

When you get downstairs, a small black kitten is waiting for you. You croon, crouching down to pet it.

ROXY: awww mutie hey baby
ROXY: ur so cuuute awww good morning sweetheart
ROXY: nice 2 know somebudy here gives a fuck…

Mutie meows. You imagine it was in distress at your profanity.

ROXY: sorry bb
ROXY: wont happen again

You stand back up. You don't bother with going to the kitchen, you don't trust yourself to cook right now. Sure, you'd probably do a better job than Dirk, but it's not as if that's a very high bar.

You walk to the movie theater instead. You're pretty sure it was Dirk's Bro who insisted upon the installation of this one. It was years before you were even born, but it's probably the best gift he's given you. The room adjacent contains a mini kitchen, with a microwave, a fridge, and a pantry. You pull out some popcorn and set it for three minutes.

Your phone pings.

timaeusTestified began pestering tipsyGnostalgic
TT: Where'd you go?
TG: movie theater biiitch
TT: Mind if I join you?
TG: wotev

Your popcorn is still going. You squint at the doorway, then grab a martini from the fridge.

TT: I'll be right over. I have a few suggestions for what to watch.
TG: ofc u do

You grab your popcorn and your martini, then head to the theater.

It's not as big as an actual theater, by any means. You've been a few times, usually for early access showings of Dirk's Bro's films. Yours is maybe a quarter of the size at most. Still, that's plenty of rows. You get yourself settled in the back.

He shows up only a few minutes later, putting a seat's gap between the two of you.

NOT-DIRK: Hey.
ROXY: heyyy
NOT-DIRK: Are you drinking?
ROXY: whos to say
ROXY: if a tree falls in the forest and nobodys there
NOT-DIRK: You're here. I'm here.
ROXY: yea like i said
ROXY: nobody

He's silent.

ROXY: n e way
ROXY: u said u have suggestions
NOT-DIRK: Right.
NOT-DIRK: I was thinking Our Drawings.
ROXY: fuck no
ROXY: that was funny like once when we were thirteen
ROXY: im over beatboxing puppy
NOT-DIRK: Wow. You're really breaking my heart here, Rox.
ROXY: dgaf

You take a sip of your martini and then turn on the fuckoff-massive screen. Pretty much any streaming service is available. You stick with YouTube.

NOT-DIRK: By the way.
ROXY: hm
NOT-DIRK: Any idea when your mom will be back from her book tour?
ROXY: shruge
ROXY: i could probly find the date in our texts but i dont feel like it rn
NOT-DIRK: Fair.
ROXY: what abt ur bro whats goin on with him
NOT-DIRK: He hasn't been around much. Locking in on filming, I think.
ROXY: good 4 him

You skim through your recommendations and land on a vine comp. There's a hum of approval from beside you.

What a skilled imitation. You could almost mistake it for the real thing.

Chapter Text

You're in Dirk's room. It looks the same as normal. No clues to be found here, you're pretty sure. Mostly. Okay, not sure at all. Whatever.

He's sitting at Dirk's PC, typing away on Pesterchum. You're flopped on Dirk's bed, pretending not to watch.

ROXY: whore you even talking to
NOT-DIRK: Gamzee.
ROXY: who tfs gamzee
NOT-DIRK: A friend.
ROXY: why havent i heard abt them b4
NOT-DIRK: You're not entitled to every detail about my social life, Roxy.

You glare at him.

ROXY: GAWD im am just CURIOUS
ROXY: didnt kno that was a CRIME
NOT-DIRK: Whatever.
ROXY: tf is ur problem dude
NOT-DIRK: I don't have a problem. I'm fine.
ROXY: rite

He doesn't even grace you with a response. You watch through half-lidded eyes as purple and red text fills his monitor.

Wait. Purple and red? Dirk types in orange.

You spend the rest of the day waiting for a moment where he leaves his computer on and unattended, but no such luck. It sinks into the night hours, and he's still glued to the screen. You end up going downstairs and flopping down on the couch.

Dirk's Bro gets back at one in the morning. Half-asleep, you stir at the sound of keys in the door.

ROXY: hii

World-renowned director Daniel Strider raises an eyebrow.

DANIEL: hey kiddo
DANIEL: wheres my bro
ROXY: up in his fuckinff room texting sum guy
DANIEL: you jealous?
ROXY: wat
ROXY: no
ROXY: just wish hed fuckijn telr me shiiiiitttt
DANIEL: language
DANIEL: just kidding im not your mom
DANIEL: you sound sleepy as hell girl

You flinch, slightly.

ROXY: no im fine
ROXY: not sleepy
DANIEL: well i sure am
DANIEL: see you later
DANIEL: whenever that is
ROXY: gnight

You watch him head up the stairs. After a moment's hesitation, you follow, but pivot directions. While he goes to his own room, you go to Dirk's.

ROXY: im going home
NOT-DIRK: Okay.
ROXY: not even gonna say gnight huh
NOT-DIRK: I was going to. You beat me to it.
ROXY: suuure

He turns from the computer, facing you. You catch a glimpse of the monitor. The text is now red and green. Guess that cements that he's the red. You wonder who he's talking to now.

You can't gauge his expression. He's still got those fucking shades on.

NOT-DIRK: Goodnight, Roxy.
ROXY: goodnight

You spend most of the next day playing The Sims. There's no house calls, Striderian or otherwise. Not that you care. Your mother is set to return home in two days. You're excited for that.

Your Pesterchum pings. Then again. Then again. You glance at the notification. Fuchsia. Great.

capitalAboideau began trolling tipsyGnostalgic
CA: lalonde
CA: lalonde
CA: yo lalonde
CA: rolal
CA: rox
CA: cmon gill
CA: roxy
CA: water you sleepin with the fishes or somefin
TG: omg fuck off meenah im not in the mood
CA: whoaaa whats got your flippers in a twist
TG: nothing i just dont wanna put up witj your bullshit
TG: *with
CA: 38(
TG: dont 38( me
CA: 38(

You groan, nearly knocking your drink all over your desk.

Meenah Peixes is the firstborn grub of Ireref Peixes, who runs the boarding school you've been going to for years. She is also the most annoying girl you've ever met. And she's been stuck to you like a barnacle since you ran into her in the hallway.

CA: seriously tho wassup
TG: nothing
CA: cmon lalonde you can trust me
TG: nuh uh
TG: n besdies im busy
TG: *besides
CA: with what
TG: helping this housewife get a divorce in tha sims 4
CA: oh hell yea
CA: can i sea
TG: no
TG: i alredy told u to fuck off remember
CA: 38(
TG: no fuckign 38(!!! fuck u!!!

You click the Pesterchum tab closed as if hitting the button to drop a nuclear bomb.

It's summer. You're not supposed to have to deal with Meenah during summer. Summer is about hanging out with Dirk and feeling like you can breathe again.

But Dirk is dead and your lungs are practically gone with him.

Whatever.

You're changing Mutie's litterbox now. If you wanted, you could ask your mom to hire somebody to do this menial task for you. And she does while you're away. But you like doing it yourself. It makes you feel important, somehow.

Doesn't mean cutie Mutie's shit doesn't stink, though.

You head over to the door, one hand pinching your nose shut while the other holds the bag of spent litter. You use that latter one to twist the doorknob, then kick the door the rest of the way open. Your flip-flops, hastily slid on, smack against the searing white sidewalk.

It's an eternity across the expansive driveway to the dumpster. You finally toss the bag, then turn around.

He's in the yard.

NOT-DIRK: HEY, ROXY!

You sprint closer, so neither of you have to yell.

ROXY: hiii
NOT-DIRK: What are you doing out here?
ROXY: litter
ROXY: wbu
NOT-DIRK: Bro asked me to check the mail. Apparently I haven't been going outside enough lately.
ROXY: yea u look like a fuckin vampire man
NOT-DIRK: I do not.
ROXY: do too
NOT-DIRK: Nuh uh.
ROXY: yuh huh
ROXY: n e way
ROXY: anything good in the mail or wut
NOT-DIRK: Just the usual. Mix of junk, celebrity party invitations, and Playboy.
NOT-DIRK: Wait, that reminds me.
ROXY: o?
NOT-DIRK: Bro was invited to some event tonight. He's bringing me. I wanted to know if you want to tag along.

You take a moment, weighing your options. Parties aren't really your scene, but it's not like Mom would ever let you go. You might as well take the chance while you have it.

ROXY: sure im down
NOT-DIRK: Swag. I think it starts at six, but that doesn't tell me much about when Bro'll leave, so just stay tuned. Oh, and dress sharp.
ROXY: sharp…
ROXY: u gonna be in a suit or
NOT-DIRK: No, no. Not that sharp. I'll probably be in a polo.
ROXY: lawl
ROXY: okie dokes u gots it
NOT-DIRK: Awesome.
ROXY: for sure
ROXY: ok i gotta liek eat now
ROXY: seeya strider
NOT-DIRK: Later.

You hop up the stairs and head inside. A cool blast of AC greets you as you spam the door behind you.

ROXY: gawd

A party. With celebrities. Sure, your mom's famous too - Ruth Lalonde is a household name - but unlike Daniel with Dirk she always made a point to shelter you from that life. You were bitter about it sometimes. Sometimes grateful. Right now, you're not entirely sure how you feel.

You'll have to dress up. Great. You can do that. Your closet is full of sparkly pink dresses perfect for things like this. Your vanity is stocked with all the makeup you could ever need. You know full well how to make yourself the prettiest girl in the world.

A shame Dirk won't be around to see it.

Chapter Text

You've checked your fit over about a jillion times by now, but Daniel isn't out yet, so you check it again in your phone camera. Your makeup looks good, and it will continue to so long as you don't rub your eyes. Your outfit is hopefully going to fit the occasion - a glittery pink miniskirt and a shiny black spaghetti strap top. It's cute. You like it. You ignore the pit of dread in your stomach.

He's sitting in passenger. You're sitting in the middle seat. Both of you are waiting for Daniel.

Finally the Strider household's front door swings open. You sigh in relief as Daniel pounds down the stairs.

DANIEL: sorry bout that kiddos
NOT-DIRK: It's fine.
NOT-DIRK: Nothing wrong with being fashionably late, is there?

Daniel claps him on the back.

DANIEL: That's the spirit.
ROXY: so what kinda partys this anyway
DANIEL: oh yknow just a little get together

The party is very much not "just a little get together".

It's at a house. A Rich Person House, like yours and Dirk's, but without any of the dramatic-slash-ironic decor. A nice place. Ritzy. It's filled with humans, trolls, and carapacians alike. The room is filled with loud pop music and conversations in at least three different languages. Which is to say nothing of the crowded heat, and the scent of alcohol wafting through the air.

This is so not your scene.

Daniel takes off immediately. You're almost left behind on both fronts, but you manage to follow the other boy through the crowd.

He zips over to a troll who looks to be a similar age to you and him. A purpleblood, with clown makeup, and half-lidded eyes.

???: WhAt ThE mOtHeRfUcK iS uP, bRoThEr?
NOT-DIRK: Hey, Gamz.

Ah. So this is the mysterious Gamzee.

GAMZEE: HeY yOuRsElF.
GAMZEE: WhO iS tHiS mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE?

Ugh. He smells like sopor - you know the smell from that one time you had a troll roommate at boarding school - and he's leaning in too close for your liking.

NOT-DIRK: This is Roxy. My best friend.

You give a half-hearted wave.

GAMZEE: AnYtHiNg I cAn HoOk YoU uP wItH?
ROXY: im
ROXY: im good
ROXY: im gonna go uh
ROXY: get sum soda
ROXY: yea

You make your escape, leaving the clown and the imposter to do what they will.

At the drinks table there's several soda cans as well as bottles of alcohol. You grab a can of Faygo, gulp down a quarter, and replace the missing soda with tequila. Stir it with a straw, then try a drink. Disgusting. But worth it.

You wander to a corner. Watch things play out from afar. It's a mingling game, you find. Guess this is how "making connections" works in showbiz.

You down your tequila Faygo in minutes. It's nowhere close to enough. You head to the table and get another, minus the Faygo.

The drunker you get, the more time slips away. You end up catapulting yourself onto the dance floor. There's not many people your age, besides the one who you're playing plus-one too. There's Gamzee, duh. And another troll, a blueblood girl who seems closer to Meenah's age and bears a striking resemblance to the controversial but renowned actress Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. Beyond that, all adults. Seems this wasn't intended as a kid-friendly event.

You dance. You ignore the scattered leering gazes and the way your skin seems to fit wrong on your body. You're not drunk enough yet, that's the problem, right?

You don't know how much later it is when you finally go for a breath of fresh air.

The cool evening hits your lungs like water on a burning fire. Your eyes suddenly, all too suddenly, sting with tears. Your head feels like it's been churned into a slurry. You're so stupid.

After who knows how long spent counting constellations, he comes out, sitting beside you.

NOT-DIRK: It seems you've gotten yourself wasted.
ROXY: ya no shit gneius
ROXY: whyr u actinv liek u givr a isngle fuck
ROXY: jsut leav e me alonw i dont want yuo here
NOT-DIRK: Did I do something?
ROXY: ejqyegrt
ROXY: whayqevt
ROXY: whatever
NOT-DIRK: Come on, Roxy. Talk to me?
NOT-DIRK: I'm your best friend.
ROXY: no u fuckiyn arejt
ROXY: jusgo awayy
NOT-DIRK: I'm sorry.

He stands up. Suddenly, in a panic, you yank his hand.

ROXY: nonono im sorry im soryg
ROXY: dont levave me

Of course it's not the real Dirk. But you're too sad to care.

He hesitantly returns to his spot at your side.

NOT-DIRK: What's up?
ROXY: lawl waht isnt up
ROXY: feel likr shiiiittttt
NOT-DIRK: Is there anything I can do?

You look at him.

ROXY: mayb
NOT-DIRK: What is i—

Before he can finish his sentence you pull him into a kiss.

It lasts for all of a second. He shoves you off, revolted.

NOT-DIRK: Roxy, what the fuck?
ROXY: i dunno i dunno
ROXY: im sory
ROXY: pleas dont go plseae
NOT-DIRK: You know I don't…

He doesn't finish the sentence. Tears are streaming down your face in full force now. You grab at your sides in a desperate attempt to pull the broken pieces of yourself back together.

ROXY: i miss
ROXY: i wsih
ROXY: fuck

He holds you gently and cradles you in a hug you don't deserve.

ROXY: mom
ROXY: i want
ROXY: i wnat my mom :(
NOT-DIRK: I'm sorry.

You cry into his shoulder for what feels like forever.

You're driven home with a headache that Daniel doesn't acknowledge.

The drinking has always been a point of contention between yourself and your mom. It's no wonder he wouldn't want to acknowledge it. Getting involved would be more trouble than it's worth.

You know, at least, that he won't tell her.

You don't remember getting home. You know somebody must have tucked you in, because the sheets are folded in a way you wouldn't be able to do yourself. You wake up with an even worse headache, a sick feeling of guilt, and unread Pesterchum notifications.

Oh, God. What did you say last night in your drunken haze?

You open your messages with Jane first.

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering gutsyGumshoe
TG: oogjyofs janey i jsut kisded a fuckin cirpse lawl
-- UNREAD MESSAGES –
GG: A corpse?? Goodness, Roxy, are you alright??
GG: Roxy??
GG: I hope you just fell asleep. If I don't hear anything from you in twelve hours make no mistake I'll be phoning Dirk about it!

You chew on your lip, trying to figure out how to respond.

TG: had a weird af dream lawl
TG: im fine janey dw
GG: Well, that's a relief! You really had me worried there :B
TG: you shouldna been
GG: What?
TG: cos it was just a dream
GG: Oh. I suppose so.
GG: Well, good morning!
TG: ya morning
TG: sorry but ive gots a wicked headache ill ttyl

There's some other messages. Unrelated ones. A few from Jake, some from Callie, way too many from Meenah.

And, of course. Last but not least.

timaeusTestified began pestering tipsyGnostalgic
TT: I know you're mad at me, and I don't know why, but whatever I did, I'm sorry.

Your fingers hover over your keyboard. You type out nothing.

You're lucky enough to be over your hangover by the time your mom is back.

She's late by half an hour. Traffic, you guess. Your face is pressed up against the window, watching for her.

A limo pulls up (what is your mother if not an enormous drama queen), and she steps out.

You run down the stairs to greet her.

ROXY: MOM!!!!!
RUTH: Hello, Roxy.

You tackle her in a hug. She squeezes back. Just for a moment, you allow yourself to believe that all is right in the world.

ROXY: sooo how was the tooour
RUTH: It was good, as always. It seems the masses are quite taken with Complacency of the Learned's latest installment.
ROXY: well duhh ur like a genius writer
RUTH: Why, thank you.

You grin at her, so wide it hurts your face.

ROXY: so wut do u wanna do now
RUTH: If you'll allow me a moment to grab sufficient snacks, I wouldn't mind spending as long as you like laying on my bed and catching up.
ROXY: oh heeeeeeeeck yes
RUTH: Nice catch there.
ROXY: hehe

She heads to the pantry. You follow her, watching from a few feet away. She begins grabbing junk food off the shelves.

Then her phone rings.

Your heart sinks.

She pulls it out, looks at the caller ID, and curses.

RUTH: Apologies, Roxy. I have to take this.
ROXY: rite rite yeah
ROXY: no worries

She excuses herself to her office. You sit down and sob.

Your mom's been on the phone for hours when he comes over.

NOT-DIRK: Roxy?

You've changed your sulking venue from the kitchen floor to the front room couch. More comfortable.

NOT-DIRK: Did something happen?
ROXY: not rlly
ROXY: mom ditched me to call her agent or sum shit again but what else is new lmao
NOT-DIRK: That sucks.
ROXY: eh its wotev
NOT-DIRK: You've been crying.
ROXY: shut up
ROXY: whatre u even doing here anyway
ROXY: thot for sure ud be pissed at me after what i pulled last night
NOT-DIRK: I thought you were pissed at me.

Well, you are. But for unrelated reasons.

ROXY: not like u did anything
NOT-DIRK: That's the issue, is it not?
ROXY: what is
NOT-DIRK: I didn't do anything. I never do anything.
ROXY: u do plenty
NOT-DIRK: Not enough.
ROXY: u cant be srs dude ur the biggest schemer i kno

He doesn't say anything. Through his shades, his gaze is impenetrable.

ROXY: who even r u
NOT-DIRK: What kind of question is that?

Non-answer. Well, what'd you expect.

Chapter Text

You wake up with Mutie curled up in the crook of your stomach, and her presence is so comforting that you almost forget what was wrong.

Almost.

It takes twenty minutes to pry yourself out of bed and another ten to force yourself out of your room. You sit on the stairs, slowly and childishly sliding down each one.

She's sitting at the dining table, a long-soggy bowl of cereal at her side, typing away at her computer. She looks up at you and offers an exhausted half-smile. You don't return it.

RUTH: Good morning, Roxy.
ROXY: hi

Mutie meows, headbutting your legs.

You stare at your mother a little longer, then head to the kitchen.

God, do you need a fucking drink.

You rummage in the lazy susan for the last vestiges of your personal stash. There's a half-empty bottle of wine. Perfect. You uncork it, take a deep drink, and nestle it back in its hiding spot. Mom will never find it. You can't remember the last time she's willingly cooked.

You end up making yourself some toast. While waiting for it to pop, you grab your phone and open up Pesterchum.

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering timaeusTestified
TG: hi
TT: Yo.
TG: so justs to be clear
TG: we r cool rite
TT: Cooler than ice.
TG: awsum
TT: Indeed.
TT: Is something up? Something else, I mean. Besides our hella freezing temps.
TG: noo
TT: By my calculations, there's about an 86.9% chance you're lying.
TG: by ur calculcupations lol what r u a robot
TG: *calcatiouns
TG: *calculations fuck
TT: Fuck off.
TT: Also, you're drunk.
TG: noo
TG: just a lirtle
TG: just needed smoething to take the edge off
TT: Isn't your mom home?
TG: not like shell notice
TG: shes BUSAYY
TT: I'm sorry, Roxy.
TG: not liek its ur fault
TG: never anyones fault im just an ungrateful little shit lol
TT: That's not true.
TG: naw it is
TG: its fine im fine dw

Your toast pops. You slather butter on the bread. Crumbs fall onto the counter. You don't bother sweeping them up.

TT: You know you can tell me anything.

You roll your eyes.

TG: its gotsa be a two way street u kno

You turn your phone off and shove it in your pocket, then grab your toast and carry it to the table. There's a loose sway in your step.

RUTH: Roxy?
ROXY: whuh?

She squints at you for a long time.

RUTH: Nevermind.

You eat in silence.

You retreat to your bedroom after an hour of waiting for your mom. You lay on your bed and sigh, kicking your legs back and forth.

You miss Dirk.

Pesterchum's icon shines its cheery yellow at you tantalizingly. You sigh and give in.

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering uranianUmbra
TG: hey callie
TG: do u mind if i ask a weird quastion
UU: why, not all, roxy! do go ahead ^u^
TG: rite yea
TG: so
TG: didnt ur brother try to kill u once
UU: …ah.
UU: yes, he did.
UU: why do yoU ask?
TG: well u two share a head right
TG: howd he even go abt that
UU: honestly, i'm not entirely sUre U_U
UU: it was Utterly nonsensical, really. it's as yoU said. the two of Us share a mind and body! there is nothing he coUld have done. perhaps he thoUght that his relentless fantasizing aboUt mUrdering me would do something, but clearly it did not.
UU: why do you ask?
TG: oh uh
TG: no reason
UU: are yoU sUre?
TG: well
TG: i mean

No. You can't tell her. There's a non-zero chance of her telling him, after all.

TG: i was just curouis
TG: *curious
TG: hope i didnt bring up any bad memories lawl
UU: no, no, no worries! i'm perfectly fine ^u^
TG: ok

It's not as if it would have been a direct analogue to the situation anyway. Dirk isn't a cherub. Still, you can't help but feel disappointed.

Your mother tells you she's going out to dinner with her agent to discuss the situation that recently came up. In a manner that you're sure isn't meant to be patronizing but comes across as such anyway, she informs you you'll be staying the night at the Striders' while she's gone. You wonder if she found one of your stashes. God, you hope not.

Daniel set up a kickass blanket fort in the living room. He turns on one of his movies and conks out within half an hour. Now, for all intents and purposes, it's just you and the boy who still hasn't taken off his shades.

ROXY: for real this time
ROXY: who even r u
NOT-DIRK: I.
NOT-DIRK: I'm Dirk.
ROXY: no the fuck u rnt dont lie to me

You lean in close, getting all up in his face. At this distance, you could point out every individual freckle on his pale face. Though, what's the purpose, when you memorized them already years and years ago.

ROXY: i know dirk
ROXY: ive known dirk for years
ROXY: ur not him
ROXY: so who tf r u
NOT-DIRK: You sound insane, Roxy. Look at me. Who else could I be?
ROXY: OH MY GOD DONT PLAY FUCKING GAMES WITH ME
ROXY: I KNOW YOURE NOT HIM YOU KNOW YOURE NOT HIM
ROXY: YOU CLAIM TO CARE ABOUT ME SO WILL YOU AT LEAST TELL ME YOUR GODDAMN NAME
ROXY: I DESERVE TO KNOW WHO FUCKING KILLED MY BEST FRIEND
NOT-DIRK: I DIDN'T KILL HIM!!!

He's breathing heavily. His shades have slipped down his nose, finally allowing you the slightest glimpse of his eyes. His pupils are small, scared.

NOT-DIRK: I wouldn't kill him.
ROXY: then
ROXY: then what huh

His hands are shaking. You scoot a few inches away.

NOT-DIRK: I've wanted to, before.
ROXY: wanted to what
NOT-DIRK: Kill him.
ROXY: oh
NOT-DIRK: But even if I could, which I can't, it's… not the type of thing that I could ever go through with.
NOT-DIRK: I've been with him as long as I can remember. How could I go on without him?
NOT-DIRK: I don't know what happened to him.
NOT-DIRK: But these past two weeks have been the hardest of my life.
ROXY: thats
ROXY: u
ROXY: u didnt answer the question
NOT-DIRK: The question?
ROXY: who tf r u
NOT-DIRK: Oh. Right.
NOT-DIRK: Well. I've been calling myself Hal.
ROXY: hal

You turn the name over in your mind.

ROXY: ok weve got the who
ROXY: what about the what
HAL: The what?
ROXY: what are u hal
HAL: Dirk calls me a splinter.
ROXY: doesnt explain much
HAL: Yeah, I think that was the point.
ROXY: le sign
ROXY: so ur like
ROXY: callies bro?
HAL: Ugh. Don't compare me to Caliborn ever again, please.
HAL: I think the situation is different anyway. For one, this whole… arrangement… isn't ingrained into my DNA the way it is with cherubs.
ROXY: nd for another?
HAL: …
HAL: That's for later.
ROXY: if u say so
ROXY: hey so liek
ROXY: where is dirk anyway
HAL: God, I wish I knew.
HAL: He's never been gone this long before. Usually he caps out at a day, tops.
HAL: I'm not used to this. I'm not used to functioning without him by my side.

You only realize he's crying once he reaches his hands beneath his shades to dry his tears.

ROXY: me neither
ROXY: hey uh
ROXY: how long have u been around anyway
HAL: Can't think of a time I haven't. But I only realized there was a difference between me and Dirk around our thirteenth.
ROXY: huh
ROXY: well if this aint a cherub type thing
ROXY: nd ur not sum freaky ghost possessing him
ROXY: then is it liiike
ROXY: split personality whatever?
HAL: Dirk prefers to avoid those types of labels.
ROXY: ya like he avoids calling himself gay but everyone with eyes knos hes a raaaging homo
ROXY: hey akshully if ur not dirk does that mean… yk…
ROXY: *wonk*
HAL: Sorry, but as far as I can tell, I only want to get down and dirty with the dudes.
ROXY: yea yea i guessed so i was just jokin around lmfao
ROXY: is there like
ROXY: a way you can bring dirk back

He stiffens.

HAL: If there is, I don't know it.
ROXY: so is he just gone 4ever then??
HAL: I don't know that either.
HAL: Can we stop talking about this?
ROXY: srsly???
HAL: It's a sore subject. And I don't want Bro to overhear.
ROXY: doesnt he deserve to know
ROXY: doesnt everybody
HAL: It's nobody's business but Dirk's and mine. We've gone sixteen years without anybody knowing. Clearly it's fine.
ROXY: ugh
ROXY: so much for best friend lol amirite
HAL: Roxy.
ROXY: fuck off
ROXY: lmk when dirks back
ROXY: i dont wanna talk to you

He glares at you, then turns around and stomps to his (Dirk's) room.

You sleep on the couch.

Chapter Text

RUTH: Did you and Dirk get into an argument?

You glare at her, though the effect is probably diminished by the mouthful of spaghetti you're in the process of chewing and the marinara sauce on your chin.

ROXY: no.
RUTH: You've been awfully avoidant of him for the past few days.
ROXY: nope.

You're not lying. It's the truth. You're not mad at Dirk one bit.

On the other hand, you couldn't be more pissed off at Hal if you tried.

RUTH: Well, something is certainly up. Daniel says that Dirk has been acting strangely too.
ROXY: oh so he finally noticed did he
RUTH: Noticed what?
ROXY: how bout u take a fuckin guess
RUTH: Language. And don't take that tone with me.
ROXY: oh my god what right do u have to give a shit about my language?? i see u for maybe three months out of the year at BEST!

She doesn't say anything. It's as if she's goading you to go on, to incriminate yourself further. Passive-aggressive bitch.

You clam up.

After several minutes, she sighs.

RUTH: I'm sorry I'm not around more, Roxy. I really am.
ROXY: it cant be that hard to be home can it
ROXY: ur rich ur famous ur the most popular author liek ever
ROXY: if u rlly wanted it itd be easy so obv u dont
RUTH: It's not like that.
ROXY: its fine i get it
ROXY: ik u never even wanted me lol
RUTH: Roxy—
ROXY: im done eating

You sprint up to your room. She doesn't follow.

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering golgathasTerror
TG: hey rando question lol but has dirk talked to u much lately
GT: Dirk? Why no i cant say he has. Why do you ask?
GT: I mean honestly i have been a little worried but i dont think its my place to ask him after our DISASTER of a breakup in january. Yikes!
GT: I wouldnt be surprised if thats the reason hes been silent but whos to say. What of your end though roxy?
TG: well we do live right next 2 each other
GT: Oh how could i forget! Yes sorry roxy of course youre getting your share of the big man himself.
GT: Is he doing alright then? If its okay for me to ask i mean.
TG: hes
TG: yeah hes fine
TG: i was just wonderang yk how it is
GT: Why yes i do i cant fault you for a little curiosity.
GT: Oh as long as we are talking i wanted to show you something jade and i ran into the other day!
GT sent an attachment
TG: IS THAT A FUCKIN TIGER??
GT: Yes indeed! Or well the troll version but for the life of me i cant recall what its called my sincerest apologies. But yes we found this beauty taking a nap while on our evening walk last night and felines always make me think of you rox!
TG: awww ur so sweet jake
TG: its cute af ty

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering gutsyGumshoe
TG: janeyyy do u mind if i ask u smth rq
GG: No, not at all! What's up?
TG: sooo
TG: has dirk talked to u much lately
GG: Dirk? A little less than usual, but yes, he and I have been keeping in contact!
GG: Why do you ask? Is something wrong?
TG: nooo nothings wrong lol
TG: im just snooping yk how it is
GG: You certainly are a nosy one! Perhaps you're the detective-to-be in our friend group after all :B
TG: lmao

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering uranianUmbra
TG: caaallieee my giiirlll
UU: hello, roxy! ^u^
TG: so just outta curiosity
TG: has dirk talked to u much lately?
UU: well, him and i aren't particUlarly close to begin with, bUt he has been a little more distant than UsUal. i was wondering if something was wrong, actUally.
UU: is there something wrong?
TG: nothing to worry abt lawl
UU: are yoU sUre?
UU: yoU've seemed off of late as well, roxy.
TG: me???
TG: nooonono im fiiine
TG: all good over here in lalondetown
TG: i mean i had a bit of a squabble with my mom but whateverrr its water under da bridgeee
UU: oh no! that's awfUl, i mean it.
UU: is everything okay?
TG: i said im fine silly
TG: thanks for askin tho
TG: wonk
UU: wonk! ^u^

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering undyingUmbrage
TG: hey
uu: WHAT DO YOu WANT FROM ME. BITCH. I AM BuSY. WORKING ON. MY YAOIS.
TG: itll only take a minute jesus fuck
TG: i just wanted to know if dirks talked to u much lately
uu: WHY YES. IN FACT. HE HAS.
TG: wait rlly???
uu: OF COuRSE. AFTER ALL. IN MY QuEST TO CREATE MALE ON MALE ACTION. I HAVE FOuND. THAT IT IS BEST TO DRAW FROM THE FOuNT OF REAL EXPERIENCE.
uu: STRIDER IS QuITE. THE YAOI SPECIMENT. NEVER HAS SuCH A SEME GRACED THE EARTH. BESIDES. OF COuRSE. MYSELF.
TG: so ur havin him help u w ur bl
uu: IF YOu MuST PUT IT IN SuCH AN uNMAJESTIC WAY. THEN YES.
TG: and hes actually been willing???
uu: OF COuRSE. ALPHA MALES RECOGNIZE OTHER, BETTER ALPHA MALES.
TG: oookay
TG: good for u cal
uu: IS THAT ALL. BITCH.
TG: guess so
TG: talk to u never
uu: GOOD RIDDANCE.

You collapse on your bed with a sigh.

There's only so much nosing around you can do without giving up the gambit, and you think you've hit the limit. Mutie hops up, curling up on your stomach, and you pet her.

ROXY: at least ill always have u

You could really use a drink or ten right now, but it's not a good idea. Not while your mom's around. Too busy to do anything with you but plenty of time to get on your case. It's just a little bit of booze, why does she even care? Hypocrite.

You miss Dirk.

You're still not entirely sure Hal didn't lie about killing him. What else would cause him to go off the map like that, after all? That's not the kind of thing that just happens.

Is it?

You don't know.

It's beginning to dawn on you that you didn't know Dirk as well as you thought you did.

Chapter Text

For some godforsaken reason, you're going out to dinner.

You're dressed up nicer, but moreso going-to-church (not that you've ever been) nice than going-to-a-celebrity-party nice. A simple black dress that hugs your curves without being tasteless. Looking at your frame in it makes you want to throw up.

Mom is driving, Daniel is in shotgun. You and Hal are stuck together in the back row, one tiny seat apart.

You don't look at him. He doesn't look at you.

Were you a normal family, an evening out like this would be one thing. But Ruth Lalonde and Daniel Strider are famous, and paparazzi swarm the scene like maggots on roadkill the moment you enter the restaurant.

It's a nice restaurant. Expensive. High-class. You're guided to your table by a waiter and seated - kids on one side, adults on another. You try to scoot your chair away from Hal's, but your mother gives you a look and you stop.

DANIEL: so what do you kids want
RUTH: We haven't even been given the menus yet.
DANIEL: i just want them to think about it in advance so we dont spend a million years waiting for them to decide
RUTH: Slow your roll, Strider.

It's the banter of two people who know each other better than themselves. Family not by blood but by choice. Like you and Dirk.

HAL: So, what's the occasion?

You want to stab your fork right through that fucker's eye.

RUTH: What occasion?
HAL: You wouldn't be going through all this effort if there wasn't a reason for it.

Her and Daniel exchange a glance.

DANIEL: we werent planning to talk about that for a little while dude
DANIEL: surely you can be a little patient
HAL: I guess.
RUTH: Thank you, Dirk.

Hal winces, so slight you'd only notice if you were looking for it.

ROXY: yea ty dirk

He glares at you. Once Daniel and your mother are distracted in conversation, he hisses at you.

HAL: (What the fuck is your problem??)
ROXY: (idk wut ur talking abt i dont gots no poblem)
HAL: (You avoid me for days and then purposefully antagonize me. I'm not stupid, Roxy.)
ROXY: (coulda fooled mee)
WAITER: H=r= ar= your m=nus, sorry about th= wait.
RUTH: Why, thank you.
WAITER: I'll giv= you a f=w minut=s, and th=n I'll be back to tak= your ord=r for your app=tiz=r.
DANIEL: fire

The waiter leaves. You stare at your menu. It's hard to focus on reading. You're hyperaware of Hal beside you; every minute movement of his body makes you tense up. You purposefully avoid looking at him.

DANIEL: you look like youre about to burn a hole in that menu rox
DANIEL: it personally offend you or something
ROXY: wh
ROXY: nah lol
RUTH: What appetizers would you like? Personally, my vote goes towards the charcuterie.
HAL: I'll second that.
DANIEL: damn i was craving the shrimp
RUTH: We can get both.
RUTH: Roxy? Do you mind weighing in?
ROXY: huh
ROXY: oh yea uh
ROXY: im good w wotev
HAL: It seems you're a little distracted.

You glare at him.

ROXY: im just sleepy
ROXY: gawd forbid a girl be a little sleepy
RUTH: I'm sorry, dear.

The pet name makes you flinch. What's her game? Is she playing it up for the cameras? Is she trying to mess with your head? You just can't read her.

ROXY: its fine
WAITER: Hav= you mad= a d=cision?
DANIEL: charcuterie n shrimp baby
WAITER: …You'v= got it.

The waiter leaves again. Rose squints at Daniel.

RUTH: You weren't flirting with him, were you?
DANIEL: what no id never
DANIEL: you know id never betray my committed relationship
DANIEL: owen and ben would be heartbroken
RUTH: You are not dating Wilson and Stiller. I know it. You know it. I'm tired of this running joke of yours.
DANIEL: ruthie i think youre prejudiced against polyamorous people and its real sad to see
RUTH: I'm not having this conversation in public.

You only half-listen to the banter. You try to engross yourself in the menu. Entrées, sides, desserts… Though, you avoid spending too long looking at the drinks. Don't want Mom to get suspicious, after all.

HAL: Roxy?

You have to hold back a curse.

ROXY: whaaat
HAL: I was just wondering—
WAITER: H=r= ar= your app=tiz=rs.
ROXY: oh thank fuuuuuuuuurrrrickin' god

Your mother snorts. Your cheeks burn. You grab a mozzarella stick, not even bothering to dip it in the provided marinara sauce before shoving it in your mouth. This proves to be a mistake, as it's piping hot. Your mouth burns and you frantically choke it down as fast as you can.

DANIEL: you all good there
ROXY: yes!!!!!
HAL: (Snrk.)

That's the last straw. You stand up, rattling the table.

ROXY: i gotta piss brb

You stomp off before your mother can scold you for your language.

The bathrooms are far off. It takes a good minute for you to get there. On the way, you nick a martini from a waitress's plate. Nobody notices.

You reach the bathrooms. It takes a few moments of hesitation before you enter the ladies' room. You hole up in a stall and down the stolen alcohol. It burns.

Why's life gotta play such a sick joke on you? You should be happy. You're well-off, you live a good life. It's not as if your family abuses you. You're one of the lucky ones. Why, then, are you so miserable?

You rub your eyes roughly. Maybe if you just do it hard enough, you'll clear whatever's clouding your vision, and finally be able to be grateful. Maybe.

No, of course not. That's silly.

Your phone pings. With a loud, reluctant groan, you pull it from your pocket.

timaeusTestified began pestering tipsyGnostalgic
TT: I know you're mad at me, but I need you to come back out.
TT: Ruth and Bro are really on edge. They think I don't notice, but I do.
TT: This dinner wasn't for no reason. Something's going on. So you really have to be here.
TT: You can curse me out as much as you want later if that's what it takes.
TT: But please, don't leave me to deal with them alone.

It's a very raw-seeming plea, even over text. Your mind takes you back to childhood, Dirk begging you to stay with him when your guardians were absent.

How much of that was him, and how much was Hal?

Slowly, you lift yourself up, and leave the bathroom.

RUTH: Hello, Roxy.
ROXY: hi mom
HAL: The waiter came for our entrée orders while you were gone, so I chose for you. I hope you don't mind.
ROXY: whatd u pick
HAL: The cheese soufflé.

Fuck. That's exactly what you would have gotten, had you been there. How the fuck does he know you so well?

ROXY: thx

There's awkward silence for a while.

DANIEL: so
DANIEL: ruthie and i have some pretty big news
RUTH: For God's sake, don't call me that.
RUTH: But, yes, we do.
ROXY: is daniel pregnant

He spits out his Coke.

DANIEL: i dunno if you know this kiddo but im a dude
HAL: Maybe the omegaverse is real. We've already got trolls and carapacians, after all. Anything is possible.
ROXY: hehehe
DANIEL: ok first of all if omegaverse was real id be a fuckin alpha
DANIEL: second of all this is a serious discussion lets try to keep the jokes to a minimum
HAL: Right. My apologies.
ROXY: ya sry
RUTH: It's fine.
RUTH: So. I'm sure you both know how busy I've been lately.
ROXY: hasnt it been like book related
RUTH: …
RUTH: That is what I led you to believe, yes.
HAL: What?

Your mother sighs. It's heavy. For a moment, she looks to you like Atlas.

RUTH: I had a sister. Her and I have been estranged for years, but recently, I was contacted by the state of New York regarding her.
RUTH: Or, rather, regarding the daughter I was unaware she had.
RUTH: It seems that my sister's drinking problem has only gotten worse since her and I parted ways. To the point where CPS has gotten involved.
ROXY: huh
DANIEL: shes saying that her sister lost custody of her kid.
RUTH: Yes.
RUTH: The state contacted me because I'm her closest relative. Getting custody arrangements sorted out from there has been a hassle.
DANIEL: being richer than god helps though
RUTH: It does.
HAL: So what are you two getting at here?

Your mother sighs. Daniel bites his inner cheek.

RUTH: Daniel will be adopting Roxy's cousin.
ROXY: what???

You… Fuck. You can't deal with this right now. Not on top of everything else. It's all so much. Too much. Your head feels ready to explode.

Hal's hand creeps closer to you beneath the table. To your own surprise, you lace your fingers with his. A moment later, he squeezes your hand.

RUTH: Her name is Rose. She's about your and Dirk's age. I've only talked with her a couple of times, but I think she'll get along with you two. She likes cats.

You almost want to laugh. You have a cousin who you didn't even know about, and she's supposed to just become part of the family now, and she fucking likes cats.

HAL: How soon will she be coming here?
RUTH: We're not sure. A lot of legal stuff is still being worked out.
ROXY: how come daniels taking her instead of you

She bites her lip, and glances towards Daniel.

DANIEL: ruthies sister had a bit of a drinking problem
DANIEL: we thought itd be better to have her in a one hundred percent sober household
ROXY: oh

Every answer just raises more questions. You ball your free hand into a fist.

WAITER: H=r= ar= your =ntr=≠s.
RUTH: Thank you.

What a ridiculous place to be having this conversation. It's all so farcical.

Chapter Text

You can't talk to Dirk about it, for obvious reasons. You're still mad at Hal. Mom and Daniel are of course out of the question, as is Caliborn, and as much as you love Jane, Jake, and Callie, you just… get the idea that they wouldn't get it.

Which leaves you with one option.

tipsyGnostalgic began pestering capitalAboideau
TG: hey
CA: holy shrimp youre starting a convo? thats a first whats wrong
CA: guess you liked me deep down tho awww youre so cute i hafta krill you
TG: ya i made a mistake
CA: nooo come back
CA: ill quit flappin my mouth i prooommy
TG: ok fine
TG: its just
TG: everythign fucking SUCKS and i cant talk to ANYBODY abt it!!!!!!!!
CA: whoawhoawhoa what sucks gimme like an itemized list here gill
TG: fucking
TG: dirk is gone and the guy in his body sucks
TG: and i have a secret cousin that daniels adopting
TG: and my mom hates me
TG: and i cant even blame her bcs ljke
TG: ughghhghhfhhfhhthfhfbfhg
CA: whale fuck
CA: that blows

Somehow, you find yourself snickering a little.

TG: it does blow huh
TG: yea
TG: yea this shit fucking BLOWS
CA: thats the spirit!
CA: now water you gonna do aboat it
TG: do?
CA: fucking around isnt gonna make ya feel better lalonde
CA: you gotta do somefin
CA: you gotta KILL
TG: ok im not gonna do that
TG: watd it even do anyway jsut make things worse
CA: suit yourself
TG: i will thank u

You bite your lip. Somehow, you've ran out of words to say.

TG: later
CA: so soon? 38(
TG: yea i have better things to do w my time

You exit the conversation with a heavy sigh.

Fuck, you really do wish you could take Meenah's advice.

You're lounging on a velvet couch when you see the front door open.

Daniel steps through, Hal following. He offers you a small grin. Hal's looking at the ground, hands shoved in his pockets.

DANIEL: wheres ruthie
ROXY: study
DANIEL: thanks kiddo
DANIEL: ill be talking to her for a while dont burn the house down
ROXY: ok

He leaves. You look up at Hal through half-lidded eyes.

ROXY: why are u here
HAL: Because I wanted to be?

It comes out like a question rather than a response. He seems just as embarrassed as you are annoyed.

HAL: I… I know you wouldn't know the difference, but. I grew up here just as much as Dirk did.

The next few words go unspoken - that he grew up beside you just as much as Dirk did.

You stare at him. He stares back.

ROXY: tell me abt it
HAL: What?
ROXY: musta been a bunch of times where i thought u were dirk rite
ROXY: tell me abt em
HAL: Oh. Oh, yeah, uh.
HAL: (Fuck.)

He sits down on the floor. After a moment's deliberation, he ends up collapsing entirely.

HAL: I remember this time when we were, like, seven, and you wanted to play house. I remember it because you wanted to be the daddy, and I told you you couldn't, and you started crying.
ROXY: oh god
ROXY: look i was a kid ok i was dumb as rocks
HAL: You were not.
HAL: Then there was… that time when we were twelve, and you found some shitty puppet porn online, and showed me, and we both lost our minds.
HAL: I've actually revisited that site lately. That's neither here nor there, though.
HAL: I remember this one Yom Kippur. I don't know when it was, or how old we were, but you tried to get me to run off with you. We made it like a block before getting caught.
ROXY: hehe
ROXY: that was fun
HAL: It was.

Your eyes flutter shut.

ROXY: i wish i was still a kid
ROXY: once u get too big nobody holds ur hand when u cross the road anymore
HAL: I'll hold it.

Your breath catches in your throat, like a drink gone down the wrong pipe. You let it sit for a moment, then sigh it all out.

You look down at him. Messy hair, eyes half-shut, shades sliding off his face. You rest your hand on his head. He leans into the contact as if he hasn't been touched in weeks.

Well, maybe he hasn't.

He ends up falling asleep like that, your fingers in his hair. You find yourself breathing in time with him.

You startle awake at three in the morning. Your body hurts from the pretzel-like pose you fell asleep in. Hal is still snoozing away. It's about the gentlest you've seen his face. He always seems at least a little on edge, but not now.

You extract your hand from his hair. He whines, stirs, nearly wakes. You hold your breath for a moment and he resettles.

You stand up. Your feet pad softly on the floor. You trace a path through the hallways to the forbidden sanctuary of your mother's office.

The light is still on, and her and Daniel are still talking.

You, being you, eavesdrop.

RUTH: It just isn't fair!

There's a strife in her voice that she always keeps tucked away, only letting loose when she's drunk or when she's with Daniel. Or both. You wonder if it's both.

RUTH: All my life, I had to clean up Remi's messes, and— And—
DANIEL: i know, ruth, i know

Her intake of breath is sharp and desperate.

RUTH: I didn't want… Roxy was already so…
DANIEL: i know ruthie thats why im taking the kid
RUTH: But you shouldn't have to deal with my mess!
DANIEL: thought you said it was her mess

Your mother is silent for a long moment.

RUTH: We're sisters.

Daniel makes a noise of sympathy.

DANIEL: look man i get it
DANIEL: theres a reason i took dirk in after my parents died and darek fucked off to make weird porn or whatever
DANIEL: family means a lot
RUTH: *Sniffle*
DANIEL: thats why im doing this though
DANIEL: youre my family too
DANIEL: i can take little rosie no problemo whats another dictionaryfucking kid to add to the collection amirite
RUTH: G-God, Daniel, I don't know what I'd do without you.
DANIEL: and youll never hafta find out
RUTH: Promise?
DANIEL: i promise

Your chest aches. Sneakily (you've always been good at sneaking), you return downstairs.

You take a look at Hal, still sound asleep. You end up sitting beside him on the floor, head resting on his shoulder.

HAL: Roxy.
HAL: Roxy.
HAL: Roxy, wake up.

You blink your eyes open, the lids heavy as lead.

ROXY: hm
HAL: My shoulder is falling asleep.
ROXY: o

You pull away.

HAL: My Bro came in to wake us up. He ordered breakfast.
ROXY: mcds?
HAL: Mc'fuckin'Ds.

He heaves himself up, then extends a hand to you. You take it, allowing him to pull you to your feet.

ROXY: my hero

He grins, just a little.

Daniel is at the dining table with takeout when you and Hal sit down. Your mother is not.

DANIEL: ruthies asleep okay lets try to be quiet
DANIEL: she had a long ass night last night
ROXY: language daniel

He snickers. You grab a breakfast sandwich.

DANIEL: fuck off kiddo
ROXY: lawl
HAL: Thanks for getting us food.
ROXY: oh yea thanksh

Hal screws up his face at you in disgust.

HAL: Don't talk with food in your mouth.

You stick out your tongue at him, a few sausage crumbs on it. He makes a high-pitched squeal, smacking you.

HAL: Roxy, that's gross!
DANIEL: alright both of you quit it
DANIEL: quick question

You blink.

ROXY: ya?
HAL: What's up?
DANIEL: do either of you have pesterchum
ROXY: ya
ROXY: dirk made us all get it when he was on his whole pseudoretro kick
HAL: Mhm.
DANIEL: thats good that makes things easy
HAL: How so?
DANIEL: so rose right

You swallow.

ROXY: what abt her
DANIEL: not much she just has a pesterchum and she mentioned to me in an email that if either of you wanted to talk to her before custody got officially sorted out you could hit her up there
HAL: What's her chumhandle?
DANIEL: tentacle porn or some shit i dont remember lemme check
DANIEL: oh yeah its tentacleTherapist i was close
HAL: Hm.

You can tell from the look on his face that he's committing the handle to memory.

HAL: Roxy and I might talk to her later. Right now we gotta eat.
ROXY: ive BEEN eating
HAL: STOP TALKING WITH FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH!