Archive of Our Own ^beta

Conner Kent is a very selfish person, he knows this well.

Kon knows this in the way that he always saw himself as Tim's best friend, but when at a new years party some 'Ives' guy introduces himself as Tim's best buddy? When that guy had the audacity to throw an arm around Tim? Conner damn near wanted to punch him the jaw and see if he still smiled all the same. 

Kon knows he's selfish in the way that he always saw himself as the closest to Tim on the team, and when he came back to find Tim and Cassie closer than he and Tim ever were? When he came back to jokes he didn't quite understand? Kon felt this hideous feeling in his gut that made him despise Cassie for that. Despite the fact that, even for a short period of time, she got to hold Tim, got to kiss him and love him in a way Conner didn't get to.

Kon knows this in the way that he is selfish with Tim. He is selfish in the way he wants to keep Tim for himself, wants Tim to look at him like that, wants to feel Tim like that, wants to taste Tim. 

But these were things he buried, because for the longest time he didn't even really know if Tim swung that way. Sure one could guess, he could assume that maybe Tim did like guys that way.

He could guess based on the flirts Tim made that seemed to hold a little too much truth to them, in the way Tim didn't mind saying guys were hot, in the way that Tim accepted flirts and compliments from others.

But then, then Bernard.

Then this guy who was the complete opposite of Conner, who seemed to balance Tim perfectly, seemed to care for Tim in a way Kon hadn't seen before.

The way that Bernard could make Tim light up at the mention of his name, the way he would babble things off about Tim that Conner took months to learn. 

The way that Bernard Dowd made Conner's blood boil, the way that being around him felt like Kryptonite exposure. 

Even then Conner knew he couldn't truly have Tim in that way, even with the conformation that Tim did like guys that way. Because some little voice in his head murmured that Tim might just like Bernard that way, that Conner didn't mean something to Tim the same way Bernard meant something to Tim. 

Because for every point Conner made in his favor, in favor of Tim liking him, of Tim loving him. There was a quick counter point that made his pillars of salt and sand crumble as logic washed over them. 

Tim tried cloning him 99 times to get him back? 

Yeah well none of his friends handled his death well now did they?

Tim damn near clung onto him like he was drowning and Conner would give him air when Conner came back?

Everybody was extremely happy and excited when Conner came back, everybody missed him extremely.

That awkward time in the storage closet, years back by now.

They never talked about it, it wasn't really anything. 

Conner Kent knew he was selfish when he dreamed of Tim in ways you don't typically dream of a guy you refer to as your best friend. He didn't dream of Bart that way, did see Bart that way, even though arguably it would be much better if Conner liked Bart and Bart liked Conner.

But he wasn't going to stop dreaming.

Wasn't going to stop seeing that too long hair splayed out on plush pillows like a halo.

Wasn't going to stop imagining the feel of Tim's skin under his, under his fingers under his lips, under his teeth and tongue.  

Wasn't going to stop dreaming of the taste of Tim, of the taste of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the taste that would be purely Tim . 

Wasn't going to stop thinking of how he could have Tim, of how he could really have him. 

Wasn't going to stop fantasizing every which way he could fucking worship Tim like he was the sun.

Today Kon was having one of those dreams, imagining the taste of Tim's chapped lips as bit them and soothed them again with his tongue. He was dreaming of the feel of his chest against Tim's, the warmth in his gut as his hands trailed up his sides. He felt the warmth as he wrapped his arms around Tim and buried his face in Tim's neck and just let himself be consumed .

Today however, it would be so much more real.

Far more real than he would like, but not real enough either.

He awoke to a thud, a loud and heavy one.

He shot up in bed and frantically searched the room. He saw beige patterned drapes that let in enough sunlight to bask the room in a golden glow, he saw creme walls decorated with photos of scenery Kon didn't recognize. He saw a tv, and a dresser, he saw clothes strewn about the room, his boxers tossed away too, Kon tugged up the sheets instinctively. Then, he saw the source of the thud, a heap of limbs.

A heap or shirtless, scratch that, almost completely bare Tim except for his boxers, in a heap on the ground.

Tim's hair had been getting longer, it fell onto the black carpet blending in, he saw pale elbows resting on the carpet while Tim hunched over.

Suddenly there was a lump in his throat.

All in that moment it didn't feel like dreams anymore, it didn't feel like just another night of pining.

"Fuck Kon." Tim groaned while Kon lavished Tim's chest with kisses and bites.

Kon saw those marks now on Tim's chest, saw them while Tim seemed to still sway in place.

Tim didn't taste quite as sweetly as Kon had always thought. Tim tasted of mixed bourbon and vodka, hints of smoke as Kon's tongue skated around Tim's mouth. No matter the flavor, Tim still tasted exquisite, still tasted hotter than Disco Hell.

Tim's tongue poked out to wet his lips, and Kon saw it stop a little on his bottom lip where Kon had bitten down a little too hard. 

Shaking thighs held tightly on Kon's sides, he lifted one over his shoulder and bit the meaty part of Tim's thigh. He was rewarded with another moan that shot down his spine and into his soul.

Kon recognized the same bite on Tim's thigh, actually multiple bites. He saw Tim's thighs where the boxers rode up, and he saw hickeys and bites tattooing them. 

Kon felt warm as he buried his face in Tim's neck, black locks of hair tickling his face, he pressed grateful and sloppy kisses on Tim's neck. Tim shifted a little out of his arms, Conner couldn't help but whine. "Kon, I need my boxers." Kon sighed and pulled Tim back into him as the other pulled on his boxers, "Mmm, not really..." Kon grinned into Tim's neck. Tim sighed and kissed the top of Kon's head, "I've got them on now dear." Conner just wrapped his bare leg over Tim's needing to pull him as close as possible.

Suddenly, Conner was hyper aware of the fact that Tim had something on, whereas Conner was bare , never has he been more thankful for his TTK.

A groan took Kon out of his thoughts, his attention snapped back to now, to Tim. Hastily he tugged on his boxers, and threw off the covers, he kneeled down next to Tim, a hand on his back.

"Tim, you good-" Kon didn't know if he should say buddy or baby right about now, "You good sunshine?" He tried again. 

Tim nodded, "Yeah, yeah..." Tim took a deep breath and looked around the room, groaning when he got the sun in his face, his head resting on Kon's shoulder. "Where are, shit where are we ?" 

'The motel just across from the nightclub' Kon's memory supplied, "A motel I think." He wrapped his arms around Tim's back.

"What happened sunshine?" Kon knew how drunk he'd gotten, but how hungover was Tim?

Tim huffed a laugh into his neck, "Last night or this morning?"

"Whatever you remember." Kon smiled a little.

"Well then, nothing from last night," Tim sighed, "then this morning... Ah. I was trying to get up and out of bed, and my legs gave out." Kon could feel Tim grin a little.

"Okay, okay." Kon took in a breath and let it out slowly through his nose. He shifted a little and helped Tim up, holding Tim up and walking over to what should be the bathroom. "Take a shower Tim." He settled Tim down on the toilet seat while he turned on the shower.

Tim giggled a little before answering in a whiny tone, "Why?"

Kon fumbled for an excuse, "A cold one, to help you feel better," He grabbed the stool and put it in the shower, not directly in the water. "If you feel like you're going to fall again, sit down and finish washing up okay?"

Tim nodded and stood up on shaky feet, his shoulder bumping Kon's, the bathroom was barely big enough for the both of them. "Okay" Tim reiterated, his hands now going to his boxers, already about to pull them down. 

Kon nodded quickly, red-faced, and threw another 'Okay' over his shoulder while dashing out of the bathroom.

He threw himself down on the bed, covering his face with his hands.

Last night had to have been the best night of his life, he was sure of it. But now? 

Now, this morning was going to be his worst nightmare.

This was going to be the worst day of his life yet.

How did it all get like this?

Before

Tim and Bernard have been broken up for a couple weeks now.

Tim had come to vent to him a couple times, expressing how it technically was a mutual break up, but he still missed him.

Kon was about as sympathetic as one could be while celebrating on the inside. Patting Tim's back and assuring him while his heart did laps around his body pumping, he was pumped full of Oxytocin and Dopamine. 

He'd picked up very little about the break up and the reasons other than the fact that they were finally done.

Blah blah blah, mutual decision, blah blah blah, Bernard deserves more, blah blah blah, Bernard wants to really settle down after college, blah blah blah, I'm not ready for that heavy commitment, blah blah blah, he deserves somebody he can know everything about, blah blah blah, better this way, blah blah blah, we could probably stay friends.

Here were Kon's thoughts on all of that :

Mutual decision or not he was very happy it was over.

That's a lie, Tim will always deserve more, screw Bernard.

Bernard can be more patient, or not, if it means Tim doesn't have to date him anymore.

Tim can take all the time he needs, Tim deserves eons and eons to be ready for whatever.

Sure Bernard deserves somebody he can know everything about, so long as that somebody isn't Tim.

It is better this way, better that they aren't together still.

This last thought Conner voiced out loud. 

"You and Bernard don't have to stay friends, it might even be better not to." Kon advised while patting Tim's back as they sat on the couch.

"What? Why not?" Tim looked at him wide eyed.

'No need to risk you two getting back together' Is what he wanted to say, but logically he just answered "Sometimes it's best not to keep contact with exes, Sunshine."

"What, no." Tim paused," Yeah, no no. I-"

"Tim, he was your first boyfriend, that can be hard to get over, like a first partner." Kon tried a different angle.

"No that doesn't, no. I mean, I still talk to Ariana, I'm on good terms with Steph, you're still close with Cassie!" Tim listed off reason after reason, each just leaving Kon with a bitter taste in his mouth. 

"I'm just saying, you don't have to stay friends. Besides, it could be hard on Bernard." Kon tried his one last hope.

That seemed to shut Tim up, which Kon actually hated that Tim's worry for Bernard would end up working in his favor. 

The Day Before

The clock read 8:24, Conner's day was over, and he was collapsing into his bed, his phone chirped with a message notification.

It was from Tim, in a group chat that had a mix of people, all from the caped community.

It started off as just Tim, Cassie, Bart, and him, but they already had one of those so then they added Steph. Steph then added Cass and Duke, and then that grew to also have Connor Hawke. 

Tim had texted the group chat, "Anybody up to go drinking at a Long Island nightclub orrrr?"

Followed quickly by another text, "Sorry Duke, not kid friendly [smile emoji]"

Duke responded with a string of emojis that implied he didn't take that well, but eventually he convinced Cass and Steph to stay with him, as a way to boycott Tim's cruelty.

Connor responded that he wouldn't be able to, but Cassie and Bart responded positively.

"Okay, Cassie and Bart are down. Kon? You up?"

Kon stared at his phone for a moment, debating how he wanted to handle this, he could have a nice night...

"Sure, I'm up for it" He texted back, and got multiple thumbs up in response.

That's how he found himself at a club on Long Island street or the other, with flashing purple, pink, and blue lights. He dressed simply in black jeans, he had thrown on some graphic tee or the other, an awkwardly tied hoodie around his waist, and layered it on with the belts and accessories, not forgetting his leather boots.

Cassie was dressed pretty appropriately for a club, a black skirt and ripped tights, and a large denim jacket covering her shirt. Bart seemed to be dressed in purely other peoples clothes, he recognized the shirt as one of his, the bands and elastic bracelets were probably from Cissie or Cassie, and Bart's pants that pooled around his sneakers were really Tim's.

Then there was Tim.

Tim seemed extremely club ready.

Tim seemed to have a sort of shimmer in his eyes that Kon hadn't seen before, didn't recognize at all.

Tim had on a mesh crop top, Tim had paired it with a well fitting leather jacket, and to top it off, ripped jeans. Tim, like the others, had on some accessories, but nowhere near as many as Bart.

Tim looked stunning.

Cassie tugged Tim over to them by the wrist, giving him a once over before sighing, "Tim did you already start drinking?"

Tim snorted, "I would say no, but I'm a better liar when sober." Cassie rolled her eyes plainly at him.

The night was fun, Cassie seemed to be chatting to the bartender, getting the girl to blush often. Bart kept alternating between sitting by Cassie, to coming back over to Tim and Kon, to zooming through the dance floor crowd. Each time Bart came back he was more glowy than he was the last time, literally, his shirt was stained with some bright liquid that glowed in the lights, and he had numerous glow sticks around his neck and wrists. 

Tim and Kon were sitting at a little booth and enjoying drinks, heavily enjoying them.

For each shot Tim took, Kon would take something twice as strong and take twice as many shots. 

For a while that was all it was, drinking and dancing, and laughing every time Bart came back looking more and more like a Christmas tree.

"It isn' even hard t' find you Bart," Kon chuckled.

"You could say I'm absolutely glowing " Bart grinned slyly. 

Tim laughed, shaking his head, downing another shot.

"Jesus Tim, how many have you had?" Bart seemed half concerned, and half joking. The speedster comes to sit down on the other side of Tim and puts a hand on his shoulder.

Tim waved him off, "I'm fine....really, I-- hasn' even been tha' much." Tim smiled lopsided at Bart, "Go enjoy yur-self Bart, as much as the rest-of-us." His words slurred together a bit too much at the end.

Bart eyed Tim for a second, looking at Kon, then back at Tim, opening his mouth to say something before pursing his lips.

Tim sighed, patting Bart's knee, "Really, I'm good. Anywhoo," Tim leaned back and elbowed Conner, "I've got Kon." The movement didn't seem to support Tim as much as he thought when Tim ended up half in Kon's lap, giggling nonetheless.

Bart glanced at them again, "You promise to-"

"I solemnly swear---that I will call you back if I feel sik." Tim said with a genuine smile.

That got Bart to lighten up before zooming back out to the crowd of people.

Tim picked up two shots, handing one to Kon and keeping the other to himself. While still practically in Kon's lap Tim leaned back, settling his head on Conner's shoulder and clinked their glasses together. 

Kon grinned down at the absolute beauty in his lap, unsure if it was the alcohol, the lights, or his unfiltered thoughts that made Tim's lips look more tasteful than the alcohol they were having right now. 

"What're we toastin' 'o Boy Wonder?"

"Mmm," Tim hummed for a moment, "New...stuff?" It seemed more of a question than a statement.

The music thrummed behind them as Kon repeated, "New stuff?"

"Uh huh." Tim smiled brightly at him, "New stuff." Raising his glass for Kon to clink them together.

Kon obliged, clink their cups together, then both him and Tim downed their liquor in one swig.

Wiping at his mouth half-heartedly, he murmured too close to Tim's ear. "Wha' new stuff?"

Tim's smile seemed far too sharp for a drunk, but Kon paid no mind. Kon hazily watched while Tim adjusted in Kon's lap, Tim clambered out of Kon's lap, and Conner had half a mind to whine. Tim's fingers wrapped around his collar, shifting to climb on top of Kon, pulling up his knees on either side of Kon's hips. Tim pushed him down into the cushion of the booth, making a space for himself between Conner and the screwed down table.

Tim dragged himself up, resting his nose against Kon's, a cruel smile playing on his lips.

"Mhhh, somethin' lik this?"

Tim's lips met Kon's in a harsh kiss, all teeth and tongue, nothing soft or slow about it. Yet, it was everything that Kon wanted. He got to taste Tim, taste him rough and fast, before Tim was pulling away again and leaving Kon aching for that flavor again. One hand still remained fisted in Kon's collar while the other reached back against the table for a shot.

Tim leaned back against the table and fumbled for a shot, grabbing one and downing it, before grabbing another and emptying the cup.

Tim leaned back over Kon, one hand dragged over his jaw, Tim's thumb resting on his bottom lip, tugging at it. Conner opened his mouth, half lidded eyes watching his every move, this time Tim came onto him slowly.

Tim's lips slotted over Kon's, Kon was willing to enjoy just the kiss, but then bitter alcohol flowed from Tim's lips to his, and Kon? He greedily lapped up every drop of the drink, not letting a single lick go to waist. The bourbon tasted ten times sweeter flowing over his tongue now, it tasted more of Tim now. 

Tim's tongue roved over the ridges of his mouth, and when it wasn't Tim bit down on his lip, and when god forbid Tim's mouth wasn't on him, Tim was giggling. Conner didn't want this moment to end, didn't want Tim to get off of him, and didn't want to lose this warmth. 

Bart raced back over to check on them, the speedster stopping to stare wide eyed when he was met with the sight of Tim kissing Kon again, before zooming off to Cassie.

Kon's hand rested on the small of Tim's back, while the other held the back of Tim's neck to tug him down for more. More kissing, more tongue, more teeth, he pulled Tim down just to feel, pulled him down to just have Tim on him. This would be the most he'd ever get to have of Tim, the closest he'd get to hold the other, the sweetest way he'd get to taste Tim. 

Kon was groaning before he realized where Tim's hand had gone, it had gone down, down, down.

Tim palmed him with a touch so light Kon might've not even known, Tim giggled at every sound he pulled out Kon. Tim pressed the heel of his palm harsher still into Kon's growing erection, the tent in his jeans becoming painfully obvious.

"Mhmhm, eager r' we?" Tim smiled down at him, starting to rub up and down slowly.

Kon couldn't seem to muster up a human sound other than groaning again.

Tim held his jaw tightly, opening his mouth, Tim's thumb going from gliding over his bottom lip to being in his mouth, pushing down on his tongue. Tim kissed him again, tilting his jaw up, and Kon just let him. Kon let Tim take everything he wanted, uncaring of where this was going, all he knew is he didn't want it to stop, didn't want to lose what little he was going to get.

In between breaths and kisses Tim spoke, "This' fun n' all...But-we could do more," Tim grinded down on him, "There's this motel," Tim kissed him roughly again, "like right across the street."

Which was all it took for them to stumble out of the club, leaving cash and a note in case Bart returned. They stumbled out of the club, unable to keep their hands off each other as they crossed the street in a daze.

Things moved too fast for even Kon to keep up, one second they were talking to the lady at the front desk, the next they were going up to their room, passing a couple making out in the stairwell, and then they were unlocking the door to their room. After that? It was a blur then too, but somehow Kon had picked up every single detail of what they'd done.

Kon had pushed Tim up against the wall the second the door was locked behind them, lavishing Tim's neck with bites and kisses. Tim tossed the key on the bench before burying his hands in Kon's hair, tugging and pulling gently while angling his own neck to expose more skin. Kon pressed up against Tim, and nearly keeled over when Tim slotted his thigh between Kon's legs, pressing up right where Kon needed it. 

Kon lifted Tim up, pulling Tim by his thighs and carrying him over to the bed, it was Tim's turn to kiss and bite Kon's neck. Kon stopped walking once his knees hit the edge of the bed, he dropped Tim down onto the mattress and climbed up on it over Tim.

He took a moment to enjoy the view, it was like how he'd always dreamed of seeing Tim, except it was better even still. Tim's hair really did make a halo around his head, but it was bigger than Kon had imagined, the black locks longer than he'd thought. It was better with Tim's half lidded eyes and swollen lips, better with the red flush over his face, and the bites and bruises that were blooming on his neck. It was the best with how effortlessly perfect Tim looked, like he belonged on the cover of some magazine that would make someone's heart stop. 

"Gonna keep lookin' clone boy?" Tim smiled up at him, "Or r' you going to do somethin' abou' t'?"

How was Conner supposed to say no to that? He was a far weaker man than he let on. 

He helped Tim out of his jacket, and then helped pull off the crop top too, then he shrugged off his own shirt. He got right down to business, kissing Tim again to really taste him this time, to actually store it in his memory this time around. Tim didn't taste quite as sweetly as Kon had always thought. Tim tasted of mixed bourbon and vodka, hints of something else as Kon's tongue skated around Tim's mouth. No matter the flavor, Tim still tasted exquisite, still tasted hotter than Disco Hell. Still tasted like something he could never get tired of.

He kissed down Tim's jaw, trailing down his neck, making sure to take a second to bite down on Tim's collar bone for a moment before releasing. Then he kissed down Tim's chest torturously slow, "Fuck Kon." Tim groaned while Kon lavished Tim's chest with kisses and bites. He kissed down slower still, and took a nipple into his mouth, biting down, getting a beautiful arch out of Tim.  

Kon kept trailing kisses and bites down Tim's chest, making sure the other nipple got the proper amount of attention too. Tim groaned when Kon took his time to bite down on his navel, just above the trail of hair he'd get to later.

"Conner" Tim dragged out the 'r' his hands in Kon's hair, tugging sharply. Kon obeyed and followed, allowing Tim to ravage his mouth again, one hand reaching down to work Tim out of his jeans. Tim bucked up into his hand, whining when Kon used his other hand to push him back down.

"Workin' on it baby" At last, he got the button to pop out, he helped Tim out of the jeans.

"Faster" Tim rasped, even with the jeans finally off.

Kon crawled back down the bed, he put a hand on each of Tim's knees and spread his legs, glancing up every now and then. Through the black boxers Kon could tell that Tim was definitely getting impatient. He looked up at Tim again, taking Tim's right and kissing the knuckles, "All good sunshine?"

Tim nodded vigorously, then added, hissing, "Yes." 

Conner grinned, settling himself between Tim's legs, he rested a hand on Tim's hip, the other caressing Tim's inner thigh. Tim whined beneath him, hips tilting up a little, trying to move Kon's hand lower.

Deciding to take mercy on Tim, Conner dragged a finger below the waistband and tugged, yanking them off. Tossing away the boxers, Kon bit his lip, he took Tim's cock into his hand, working it a little before wrapping his lips around it.

Just taking the head in his mouth and Tim was already cursing quietly, Kon still got to enjoy it however, perks of superhearing. Kon took him deeper and deeper, each bob of his head, each inch down, earned him a new sound from Tim, another thing to store into his memory.

Kon nearly gagged on Tim's cock by the time he had his nose buried in the dark patch of hair.

"Kon, please...shit" Tim babbled off, his hips twitching slightly. Kon started moving his mouth, but held Tim down, a mix of a hand on Tim's hip, a hand on his knee, and Kon's TTK washing over them.

Kon hummed around Tim, he gazed up at Tim, locking their gazes ; Tim was flushed head to toe, vibrations thrumming through him, eyes dizzy. Kon used his hand on Tim's hip to rake his nails over the abs that trailed his stomach, digging his nails deeper in occasionally. Kon kept going cruelly, his tongue teasing along the underside, rubbing against the sensitive patch of skin under the head. Tim seemed pretty intent on biting down sounds, and now that just wouldn't do now would it?

He swirled his tongue around, dragging it over the slit before dipping his tongue in. Kon pulled another broken moan from Tim, "You, you really need a haircut Kon-" Tim broke off with a gasp, throwing his head back when his cock tapped the back of Kon's throat. Conner smiled a little, letting his curls fall down and brush Tim's stomach, teasing him again while he hollowed out his cheeks a little. Tim fumbled to grip at the sheets, a string of gasps and moans falling from his lips.

"Kon, Kon, Kon, please" Tim chanted his name like a prayer, a broken record on repeat, and Kon lived for it. He gently scrapped his teeth against Tim's cock and gripped Tim's knee a little tighter, pushing down on it a little more. "Conne-" Tim broke off with a string of curses as he came down Kon's throat, who lapped up every drop like it was liquid gold. Tim thrummed with energy under him, jerking up a little, legs still spread as Conner pulled off slowly with a sloppy "pop". Conner blinked a couple times, a thin string of saliva dribbled from his lips, he felt Tim's hands in his hair tugging him up again and followed easily.

Tim pulled him up and crashed their lips together, one hand remained nestled on the back of Kon's neck while the other tugged at the longer strands of hair. The kiss was so savage and messy, all tongue, all Tim pushing into Kon's mouth, that Conner might think Tim was trying to clean the taste of himself off Kon's tongue. The kiss felt bruising even for him, teeth clinking together, Kon panted as he pulled away some, his lips just ghosting over Tim's.

If this was where Tim wanted to end it, he was more than happy too, this would be enough for him.

Kon paused, their lips just barely touching and breathing each other's air, it felt like the world tilted on its axis.

He would make Tim feel good in every way the other wanted, and if blowing him was all Tim wanted then it was good enough for Kon, weeping cock be damned. 

However it wasn't enough for Tim, one of his hands dropping to fumble with Kon's pants, tugging at them fruitlessly while kissing Conner again. Conner smiled into the kiss and pulled his pants and boxers down to his ankles, kicking them the rest of the way off the bed. Kon settled over Tim, pushing up on his forearms, chest to chest while he admired Tim below him.

Tim's hair was sweaty now, messily spread out on the pillow now, his lips were red and swollen, his face was flushed. Tim's breath came in pants, his eyes were still half lidded as they glanced up at Conner, eyelashes fluttering over deep blue eyes. 

"More?"

"More."

That was all the permission Tim gave him, all the permission Kon needed.

He fumbled through the night stand, shifting over Tim a little to no avail, no condoms or lube in sight. He sighed while looking back down at Tim, "I'm assuming you didn't-" Tim shook his head. 

"I'm good without. I'm clean" Tim offered, hands trailing down Kon's sides.

"I mean, I am too, but...are you sure Tim?" Kon asked, already shifting back on his heels, sinking down on his knees to properly get between Tim's legs again.

"Very." Tim breathed. 

Conner stroked himself a few times, no matter what he wanted this to be as enjoyable as possible for Tim, anything to make it a little easier. Kon breathed out through his nose, this was as prepared as they were going to be. He leaned up to kiss Tim, a distraction as he pushed into Tim with one hard thrust. 

Tim gasped into his mouth and Kon ate it up, he devoured Tim's mouth for a moment before moving.

"Ready?" Kon's hands drifted to Tim's hands, gripping them tightly.

Tim nodded, Kon moved Tim's hands above his head and shifted his grip to hold Tim's wrists with one hand.

"This good?" His hold was light still, ready to back off.

"Yes," Tim wiggled around a little, "yes, now just..."

Kon didn't need to be told twice, he pressed down a little harder and pulled out some before thrusting back in.

Kon repeated his actions again and again, each time pulling out a little more and pushing back in a little harder.

Every time it earned him another sound he didn't know Tim could make.

His grip on Tim's wrists was sure to bruise, what was a little more pressure? Kon pushed Tim's wrists down into the mattress, pulling out nearly completely. 

"Conn-?" Tim lost his voice, his mouth falling slack, a high pitched squeak falling from his lips. 

Now, every other thrust slammed right into Tim's prostate, earth shattering moans filling the room. 

"F-fuck...don't... don't you dare stop" Tim words came out broken between pants and kisses. 

The rhythm Conner set was a brutal, repeating, pace of him snapping his hips and kissing any part of Tim he could. He kissed Tim's lips, and down his jaw, he kissed Tim's chest and down to his hips. His eyes glanced down to Tim's shaking thighs that held on tightly to him, and Kon grinned a little.

Still keeping one hand on Tim's wrist, he used his left to lift Tim's leg over his shoulder, kissing the inside. He started kissing Tim's thigh, sometimes small chaste nips, and other times wet open-mouthed ones. He earned a moan from Tim when he bit the meaty part of his thigh, the moan shot right down his spine. 

Kon could feel himself become more light headed, static in his mind and a galaxy of stars behind his eyes with every blink.

He was close.

With a last strong thrust, Kon buried himself deep in Tim, shockwaves ripple through him as he came. Tim's own finish followed soon as Kon's hips lost pace, trails of fire coating their stomachs.

Panting hard, Kon pulled out of Tim, flopping onto the mattress next to him burying his face in Tim's hair. 

Tim trembled a bit in his arms, but allowed himself to be pulled against Kon's chest.

This was perfect, this was all Conner needed.

Kon felt warm as he buried his face in Tim's neck, black locks of hair tickling his face, he pressed grateful and sloppy kisses on Tim's neck. Tim shifted a little out of his arms, Conner couldn't help but whine. "Kon, I need my boxers." Kon sighed and pulled Tim back into him as the other pulled on his boxers, "Mmm, not really..." Kon grinned into Tim's neck. "Planning a morning fuck?" Tim chuckled, then leaned over and kissed the top of Kon's head, "I've got them on now dear." Conner just wrapped his bare leg over Tim's needing to pull him as close as possible.

Now

Last night was amazing, it was everything. But now? Now was going to be hell on Earth, and there would be no disco balls.

Kon groaned, dragging his hands over his face and sighed, sitting up to look for his phone. He was fucked, so fucked, all because of him and his idiocy. Tim was one of the best people he knew, he valued Tim so much in his life and now he's gone and screwed it all up. He was thinking with his dick last night, even more than that, he was being selfish.

Checking his phone, that was a lot of texts.

1 missed call from Cassie-dilla

5 texts from Cassie-dilla

7 missed calls from Bartholomew-not-the-first

21 texts from Bartholomew-not-the-first

Bart had texted him about the note, questioning where they'd gone, if Kon was still with Tim, if Kon was sure it was Tim, if they were okay, if they were alive. The voicemails were just Bart speed talking, and the last one was Bart claiming his right to Tim's motorcycle if they were dead.

Kon, Kon didn't need all that energy right at this moment, so he went to Cassie.

She had left one long voicemail berating him and Tim for not leaving enough money for their drinks, then ending it with concern that they left so suddenly. Her texts were simple, one was from and hour ago,

Cassie-dilla sent

U up?                    8:03

Kon.com sent

9:16                   I'm fucked

Within a matter of seconds and Cassie was calling him, spectacular, this was either going to be very helpful, or the worst talking-to he's ever had.

"I'm fucked? Kon that can mean so many things, and for some weird reason I feel like it's more than one."

"Cassie!"

"Don't use that tone with me, Conner. Now what did you mean?"

"Sorry. And, well me and Tim..."

"Fucked?"

"That. But now, I'm fucked fucked. This is going to be a dumpster fire."

"I feel like you're taking this too far. It's Tim."

"Tim who has a contingency for everything, he plans for everything. I doubt he planned on us." Us...was there even an us? Would there be an us after this? Would they be friends? Would they be together? Just how much did Kon put on the line yesterday?

"You're right. Look just, ugh, fuck, I don't."

Kon sighed looking around the room, glancing at everything in this warm glow of light because soon it'd be a shit show.

"I am about to lose one of the most important friendships I've had in my life. In a crappy, small, shaggy carpeted motel room. Still half dressed." 

"Kon..."

"I'm such an idiot."

"I know it feels like that, but-"

"It is like that! Cassie this wasn't, god, Tim is going to hate me. Forever. I fucked up."

"Maybe that's right or maybe-"

The sound of water shutting off and the slide of the glass shower door.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit. Cassie gotta go, Tim he's-"

"Call me later Conner Kent!" Cassi promptly hung up on him after that, Kon tossed the phone into his pile of clothes quickly. 

Tim emerged from the bathroom, a towel around his waist and a much smaller one in his hand while he dried his hair. It should be a sin , how Tim's muscles moved under his skin.

Tim cleared his throat, Kon quickly looked up to realize Tim's eyes had been on him.

"So uh, towel?" Break the ice, break the ice Kon, come on it isn't that hard.

"My boxers were," Tim cleared his throat a little, "dirty.." Tim tossed the towel onto the dresser next to him, crossing his arms and looking over at one of the paintings in the room, speaking idly. "They're drying. I left you some warm water..."

"Yeah...thanks." Kon looked down at his clothes, should he offer Tim his hoodie? Gotta be better than walking around in a fishnet shirt.

"Listen, Conner," Kon already didn't like this. "Last night..."

Was that a statement? A question? Was it a statement that Tim remembered last night, was it Tim wanting to bring up what happened and how it should never happen again? Was it a question? Did Tim not remember what happened between them, could, and better yet should Kon lie? Should Kon say nothing happened?

But Tim had to have noticed the hickeys and the bites, had to have seen his wrists, and had to have remembered why it was hard to walk. Tim had to have an idea why his boxers were dirty.

"Last night." Kon repeated looking up at Tim.

"It was...it happened. We had..." Tim trailed off, eyeing his clothes

"Sex, we had sex." Kon finished off, looking away.

When Kon looked back Tim had his boxers and other clothes in hand, now standing much closer to Kon, but still too far.

"Yeah, we had sex." Tim turned away from him while speaking, dropping the towel and tugging on his boxers.

Kon was going to hell for watching, going to the deepest pits of hell for wishing Tim was facing him. Going even deeper that the devil wouldn't take him because he wished Tim was on top of him, not getting dressed.

Tim sighed, tugging on his pants and turning back to Kon, shirt in hand while he spoke. "Fuck, I can't go out in this. Anyway. We had sex, which is something friends do sometimes, yep."

Kon quirked his head to his pile of clothes, "Take my hoodie." Kon didn't bother to acknowledge the other part of what Tim had said. 

Was that what this was? Not a onetime hookup, but friends with benefits?

"Thanks...Friends who fuck. That's a thing right?" Tim had dropped his own clothes and was holding Kon's hoodie, feeling the fabric under his fingers.

"Friends with benefits, that is a thing, yes." Kon answered, and he wished he was dressed, and wished he had something on, more than just boxers. It felt weird looking at Tim, already half dressed, ready to leave, prepared to turn his back on Tim.

Kon had to admit this was calmer than what he had prepared himself for. 

Kon was ready for Tim to storm in yelling at him, blaming him for this. Maybe Tim would throw "Kryptonians can't get drunk!(supposedly)" and Kon would accept that, even though he had felt drunk. He didn't feel like himself last night one hundred percent, things felt hazy. But he still remembered last night crystal clear, which gave the question if he was even half as drunk as Tim.

Kon was ready for Tim to storm out and never look back again, ready for Tim to hate him forever, ready for other people to turn on him.

And the other part.

Friends with benefits.

Did Kon even want that? Did he want just the occasional fuck?

Did Kon want to be on call for Tim, just somebody to sleep with when there was no one better?

Did Kon want to makeout, to kiss and hold Tim, just for Tim to push him away and say he had a date later?

Did Kon want to be able to brush against Tim on missions, but for Tim to pull away or ignore it?

Did Kon want his hands to linger on Tim for too long for friends, but too short for lovers?

No, the answer was no he didn't.

Kon had told himself last night that he would take as much as Tim gave him. But now he'd tasted it, tasted Tim. Kon had it, had Tim for a moment. 

And Conner Kent is selfish, and Conner Kent knows this well.

He's so selfish because he can't imagine being there but not really, being close but at an arms length away.

Kon couldn't imagine not having Tim, to stop having Tim because Tim had found a partner?

Kon, Conner Kent. Did he want to be a spare? Did he want to sit there and watch again, to be on the sidelines while he saw person after person get to love Tim the way he wanted to. Kon couldn't sit and be still, while someone else who deserved Tim more than him, got to have Tim. Kon and Tim might be horrible for each other, they might be the worst thing to happen to each other as lovers. But if Kon was going to burn, if he was to be slaughtered. 

Then he wanted Tim to lead him to death, wanted Tim to be the one to strike the match, and wanted Tim to deliver the blow.

Tim mattered, he had always mattered, he meant more than Kon ever thought possible and ever knew and, and, and

"No."

Tim looked at him, hoodie still in hand, fingers feeling the blue fabric beneath his nails.

"No, I don't want that Tim. I don't want to be 'Friends with Benefits' at all." Kon was standing up, why was he standing up? 

He grabbed Tim by the shoulders and tugged him close, "Tim I don't want that, I can't take that Sunshine."

Kon held Tim's face, and looked into those blue eyes. If he looked hard enough maybe he could see the thoughts formulating behind those gorgeous eyes. He held that warmth close, he held it as tight as possible without crushing it.

"Tim I, it's selfish, but I can't. I can't just be an occasional fuck, I can't just be person Z when A through Y aren't there. I can't just be enough for you to want me when you want to fuck something out of your system. Please" Kon pressed his forehead to Tim's, "Please Sunshine. Don't, don't do that to me."

Tim stared back at him, held his gaze, like Tim was picking apart every insecurity about him, every part Kon despised. 

Kon could feel himself shaking, he couldn't lose Tim, not, not like this.

"Tim please. Sunshine if you hate me, if you don't want me, don't want to see me again, ever . Then please, scream at me, hit me, hate me. Be loud, be obnoxious, be cruel, be hurtful. be everything I know you can be to rip someone's soul to shreds," Kon sighed, maybe if he pressed their faces together enough he could merge into Tim, become part of Tim, become something Tim can't get rid of. "Just please, don't do this calmly if you hate me, don't say it's okay if it won't be." 

Kon closed his eyes, he couldn't bear to see the disgust that would be on his face, Kon was pleading, was willing to beg Tim, to just say something and be clear about it.

"Okay cloneboy." Kon didn't even get to register it, to open his eyes before Tim's lips were on his again.

"Not..a casual..fuck" Tim's voice broke through kiss after kiss as Tim licked into his mouth.

"Yeah." Kon sighed, tugging Tim closer and angling his face for a better kiss.

It's safe to say that neither Tim nor Kon left that motel around 9. They left around 1. Tim's words from last night held some truth.

Kon didn't plan a morning fuck, but he got one, he definitely got one. 

Kon didn't mind, with Tim and him striped again, laying in bed.

Didn't care with Tim's head on his chest and dark hair spread out on his chest.

Kon was content, he was going to stay content so long as Tim was his, so long as Tim was exclusively his.