Work Text:
Satoru was walking around Jujutsu High, and he decided to be an incompetent teacher while the Kyoto sister school event was happening. Maybe a student could die! But drinking cold water from the other side of the school is much more important, anyway, killing other students is against the rules. And teenagers love playing by the rules (trust), so nothing to worry about.
Meanwhile
Yuji was getting attacked by two other students, who were trying to kill him for being Sukuna’s vessel.
Going back to our MC.
Someone was walking behind Satoru, and they were moving faster than he was. Until the person called out to him, “Hey, you!” Oh, God, it was Utahime Iori, and she was holding this cup. “Is that water?” Satoru asked, Utahime looked at him with a grin, and responded with, “Sure”. Utahime hands the glass to Satoru, her grin slowly growing.
Satoru went back to daydreaming about killing Sukuna, while he drank the “water”, he didn’t realise that Utahime was holding back her laughter. He was chilling until he swallowed a load of citrus, and he was allergic to lemon. So he started frantically gagging to try to remove the lemon from his body, but he had realised that he had swallowed it.
Blood started to bleed out of his mouth, so he wiped it with his fingertips. Satoru looked at Utahime ,and asked, “I need something salty”. Utahime rolled her eyes, “Show me some respect”, she barked. “I am literally five years older than you!!!!!!!!!” she continued. “Jeez, alright, can you please get me what I asked for, Grandma?” Satoru replied, unwilling to respect this woman.
Utahime was feeling very kind, so she gave him chips that she had stuffed with sugar inside the bag and shaken them really hard (she had prepared them in advance). Satoru ate those chips, and then he fell dramatically to the ground, where he stayed while Utahime was very happy. “YAY!!!!!!!!!!”