Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Maomao doesn't know how she got in this situation.
Somehow to run away from people shooting at her and jinshi they fell down into a hole. They need to get out fast as people might of thought they are already dead.

When they woke up they traveled around the cave for abit till they finally found a hole in the cave ceiling. But it was too high up for them.
And no its not because maomao was too short. Jinshi couldn't even reach it too.

So maomao stood on jinshi's shoulders
Then something green showed up and jumped and scared maomao and she fell.... ontop of jinshi....

And that's how they got in this situation.
Maomao hand on something in jinshi pants.
And jinshi. Flustered to say the least.

'Don't tell me what I think that is' maomao thought as her mind started to circle.
Of cause though to jinshi her face was plain. No emotions."Maomao?" Jinshi asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

"Ah yes master jinshi" maomao said after getting out of the daze she was in.

"Can you maybe get off me please"

See in the usual setting if maomao fell on someone. She would get off instantly then act like it was An accident.

But her hands has touched something that has frozen her entire body..
Jinshi's dic-
NO NO maomao don't think about it. Sure you didn't know he had that but it's a normal body part.

But maomao being maomao was still shocked that jinshi had that 'part' let alone it being 'hard'
So once again maomao being maomao she..

Squeezed it.

"Huh" maomao said out loud in surprise

"What what's wrong" jinshi said in surprise and started to move his head around as maybe maomao saw something or heard something he couldn't.

"It's squishy"

"WHATS SQUISHY" at this point jinishi just wanted to know what was happening.

Out of no where maomao sat up. At that point jinshi got more flustered because not only was maomao now not only on top of him but now sat on his lap.

"W-wha t are you doing?!"

"Just in investigating, master jinshi do you give me consent"

'For what?! Jinshi screamed in his head.
You know what jinshi doesn't want to know and just wants this embarrassing moment over

"Fine you have my consent"

"Thankyou master jinshi."
After maomao said that she instantly started to push down jinshis pants.

"WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOI-"
before jinshi could ask , something flew out of his pants and hit him in the face. Something wet, sticky and green?

"Ahhh it was a frog"
Maomao said.
At the beginning she thought the eunuch jinshi was missing a certain part that makes him... a eunuch but once she squeezed it. She was confused as it didn't have the usual long shape as it was actually very round and squishy.

Of cause that could of been a ball but that's out of question once she remembered that something that matched the description in her hand also matched the description that spooked her in the beginning that got them into this mess.

"Now that's cleared up let's go" as maomao was just about it get off and erase this moment from her memory. The frog that's still on jinshi's face turned around...

"Next time touch me harder, I like it like that"

"Wha" maomao said shellshocked the frog didn't... nooo.

"I like you touching me but next time don't be so nervous I like it hard" the frog said in a shocking deep masculine voice.

"WHAT" jinshi freaked out and flung his head forwards making the frog fly off his face and onto his chest.

"What you jealous ? Trust me I'm better then you in anyway girly boy. "

"Talking talking frog" jinshi said whispering

"Yeah I'm a talking frog so what. But I don't care about that right now. Right now I want some fine women"

After jinshi heard that it snapped him out of his shock. Quickly looking up to maomao who was just staring blankly at the somehow talking frog.

While staring jinshi saw something spark in maomao eyes noticing that she is definitely thinking of how she's going to cut this frog up to use it for some kind of medicine.

Jinshi after that stared back down at the frog.

"Maomao is not for sale! Let alone for a slimy frog like you" jinishi said angrily as he was not loosing to anyone let alone a frog!

"Bitch please, shes not my type"

"HUH then what you mean fine women!" Jinishi at this point was fed up he felt like he was in a goose chase but he was sat.

"Nah my taste is more refined"

"Your a frog"

"Anways" Said the frog " I'm looking for some fine women so could you show me where lady lihua is"

"Whaaaa"
"Whaaaaa"
Maomao and jinshi said at the same time. Seems like this comment finally cut maomao out of her fantasy of cutting up the frog and curing cancer.

"God you too look like stupid fishes, which means you two are useless ill find her on my own, peace"
The frog somehow rolled his eyes and jumped ontop of jinishis head and out of the hole in the ceiling.

Maomao and jinishi eyes just followed the frog even once the frog was out of there vision

Chapter Text

Dah frog
Now it doesn't know how it got here so let's rewind.
Frog was just hopping around, thinking of the fine women in the inner court and wondering how he could look like the emperor (even though he personally thinks he's better looking)

Because when frog was just a little frog in his family pond he saw something, someone beautiful someone who dear God massive Mellons that the frog just knew would keep him warm at night.
But he can rant about them later.

After that moment baby frog was waiting to grow up into an adult so I could introduce himself to her.

But noooo the stupid side character called the emperor got his hands on her and took her in as his concubine. AND in the end she didn't even become his favourite.
He's a slutty hoe.
Fuckn bastard.
But frog has worse insults that he will use later
As frog is in good spirit.
He's finally worked out the courage.
He is finally going to see hottie lady lihua.

Now the reason he hasn't done it yet isn't because he's a coward nooo
He's just been getting a good job and a good place to stay so lady lihua will know frog will support her and their 150 babies

Anwayss
Tits

Oops sorry wrong brain file

Frog was hopping around making his way to the inner court when all the sudden he fell on some moving grass. And fell on the ground

He later found out that it wasnt grass it was a weird green haired girl.

But after falling it's all so hazy to frog.
One minute he was flying to the ground into this cave when all the sudden he slipped into darkness.

It was warm
He was starting to lose air as there was no air hole in sight
Just then something grabbed him!
Someone is trying to manhandle frog!
They even squeezed him.
SQUEEZED HIM what do they think frog is. A dog toy?

But when frog imagined lihua doing this to him he would let her do anything and more.
Even bring out the strap.

But anyways frog found a way out.
Found out he was in some random fem boys pants.

Flirted with some grass head

Then left them stunned from his good looks.
As the real mission is happening.
Win over lady lihua tit-
HEART
Yes totally win over lady lihua heart