Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Would you still love me if I were a worm?”

“What?” Perry responded predictably, closing the fridge and abandoning his search for food.

“Would you still love me if I were a worm?” his boyfriend repeated.

“JD-”

“Come on.” JD cut off whatever complaint he was about to make.

Perry sighed and took a seat across the table from JD. “Okay, fine. Would I still love you if you were a worm?”

“That’s the question.” JD nodded solemnly.

“Like romantically?”

“Yes.” 

“No.”

JD gasped, rather dramatically. “Perry, what the hell?!”

“Belinda, you just asked me if I could be in love with a worm.”

“But the worm is ME!”

“Okay fine, let’s consider. Can worm Newbie kiss me?”

“Maybe not in the traditional sense, but-”

“Uh uh uh - can worm Newbie drive the kids to school?”

“Is that all I am to you?”

“Can worm Newbie even talk to me?”

“Probably not.” He conceded, glumly.

“I rest my case. I would not love you if you were a worm. But I don’t think that’s a problem, seeing as you are, in this reality that we’re all actually living in, a human being.”

“What if we were both worms?”

“If I say yes, is this conversation over?”

“I’ll know if you’re lying!”

“Oh c’mon, you know I don’t have the imagination for this! Do worms even experience love? Maybe I’d be a thriving asexual worm unencumbered by an annoyingly whimsical worm partner.”

JD sighed. “Honestly, that sounds about right for worm Perry.”

He then went to report his results to Turk.

VB: He said no :(

CB: Dude! So did Carla!

VB: I’d still love you if you were a worm

CB: Back at you buddy 

Perry checked his own phone while JD was undoubtedly complaining to his other life partner.

Carla: You get the worm question?

Perry: What the fuck was that?

Chapter Text

Whatever game they’d been watching had ended over an hour ago and now they were just sitting in silence watching Sports Center. They being him and Dr. Cox, since Dan had long since fallen asleep.

“Hey,” JD said softly. He didn’t want to wake up his brother on the other end of the couch (quite an upgrade from the bath tub). “I’m sorry, by the way.”

Perry turned abruptly from the screen to JD. “The hell do you have to be sorry for?”

JD held a finger over his lips to remind Perry to be quiet.

“For yelling at you… and shoving you.”

“You do realize I punched you in the face?” Perry asked incredulously.

“Yeah, I know, and that was really uncool. But look. I know you were doing a lot for me by covering all my patients and my pages. Even though I really didn’t ask for that.” He paused for a moment and Perry just stared at him, demonstrating an uncharacteristic patience. “But I know that was your way of being there for me, and I shouldn’t have yelled at you for just…” He shrugged. “Being yourself.”

“You know Newbie, you do deserve better than that. I’m just not that guy.” He shook his head.

JD shrugged. “You came through. You usually do.”

“Why hasn’t your other half been helping you through this?”

“Elliot and I broke up, like, a while ago. It was a whole thing, seriously?”

Perry raised his eyebrows pointedly.

JD squawked as quietly as he could, realizing what Perry meant. “Turk has been busy, and he’s not the best at feelings.”

“So you went to me.” 

Okay, point taken.

“Would you just— I’m grieving. Don’t question me!” He practically hissed in an effort to keep quiet.

“It’s fine, Newbie.” He tried to stifle a laugh at how flustered the kid was. “I’m oddly flattered.”

“Anyway, I am sorry. And also thank you. Tonight was good.”

“Glad we pulled it off.” He nodded his head toward Dan, who was drooling on the couch cushion.

“I know it was mostly you. Thank you.”

Dr. Cox grunted in response. “Don’t mention it.”