Archive of Our Own ^beta

This thing between them. This thing. It was nothing, it meant absolutely nothing. There were no tags, no labels. Nothing to call what they were. That’s what they both wanted. That was the rules.

But at the same time it meant everything to her. As sad as it sounds it was all she had. At least the only thing she had outside of work. Sure she had her friends and her team and of course she still had her parents. She talked to them every now and then. But every Wednesday after work. She gave them each a call.

But while everyone around her was beginning to build relationships. Build romantic relationships. Falling in love. Beginning to settle down. And soon to start families. Even Naruto and Hinata were dating and beginning to get serious. While everyone was building their new life. She was still in the same place.

Never as a little girl did she think she would be one of the last ones to find a partner. Sakura was in the gray area. She was still known as that crazy Sasuke loving kid. The same kid that followed Sasuke around like a love sick dog. She wasn't that same kid any more. She wasn't twelve and so far up his ass that she thought she was in love.

Or she was either known as the scary crazy strong woman that could hurt anybody with just one small slap. One small punch that could cause a crater to form in the ground below. That could push someone through the walls of a house and out the other side.

It was a gift and a curse at times. It gave her confidence and it took some of that same confidence away. She felt like the strongest woman alive. Like she could do anything. But at times she felt like everyone was looking at her as she walked through the village like something to be mocked and made fun of.

Sakura was still trying to find herself unlike the others around her age. She was trying to find where she fit in. Trying to find what she wanted for her life. Everything she thought she wanted as a little girl and even a teenager just didn’t fit for her any more. Those wishes of marrying Sasuke and being a stay at home mom only made her nose scrunch up in grossness.

Her day consisted of waking up, going to work at the hospital, teaching the students in the academy, going home and going to sleep. Maybe going on a mission every so often. Over and over again. It’s not that she didn’t love her job. Because she did. She was thankful for Lady Tsunade.

But sakura just wanted… more.

But one simple thing changed her whole life routine. One simple thing shifted everything. One out of ordinary night. Just one small question.

Opening the door. She pulled her white coat off and draped it over the cloth hanger beside the door. Sakura shut the door behind her and stepped into the room. She was given a small office she was given after the war. With Tsuande gone, someone had to take over. That meant she was given her sensei’s old office.

In some ways it hadn’t changed that much. But there were definitely small decorations that screamed Sakura. Like the book case. Instead of one it tripled into three. Ranging from books about medical diseases, sickness and poisons. Everything she needed was in those books. Sakura had her own small library just to the right of her.

Sighing, Sakura tipped back into her seat. Long fingers pulling her perfect ponytail down. And drawing through her pink bubbly hair. Her eyes flinched close as the relaxation ran through her body. It had been a busy day to say the least. A team of newly made genin had been practicing a man made obstacle course. When an explosive tag went off tripping the next five.

One girl was the worst. A burn that started at her right ear and went down past the right side of her neck down traveling to her right shoulder and right breast. There were large fluid built up blisters that traveled down her body. And a gaping wound showing off the meaty part of skin. She was the one that took most of the explosives.

The poor girl was in such severe pain that as soon as she was brought into the hospital Sakura had given her a sedative putting her to sleep. The second girl had a pink burn that wrapped around the left side of her torso travelling to her right hip and down to her thigh. It was shiny and almost white. It looked like someone put wax on her body.

Then the third genin the boy. His injury was left severe then the two of the girls combined due to being further away from the explosives then them. In fact his injuries were from the force of the explosives throwing him back on a boulder. A three maybe four by inch laceration on the back of his head. And a concussion. But he luckily made it out with no burns.

Their sensei was in serious trouble. There was screaming and yells. Angry and worried parents. Sakura sighed and rubbed her face. The whole day was a shit show and she was ready to go back home, take a long bubbly bath and sip on a glass or maybe bottle of sake. Then get into her bed. She was ready for the end of the day.

It wasn’t the sensei who built the obstacle course. Sakura honestly felt bad for the man. He didn’t make those genin go out and try to get through an obstacle course with explosive tags. In fact it was their day off. He told them to get some rest to go hang out with their friends and to come back to the field in the morning.

But instead those three stubborn and hard headed genin came up with their own new and elaborate training. It wasn’t a bad idea. Their one mistake was doing the obstacle on their own with no supervision. Anything could have happened. And they could have been left out in the woods with no help arriving.
But luckily Kiba of all people had found the three genin. Akamarau sniffed the smoke out and alerted Kiba. The man hurried down to the woods. And found a scene he wasn’t expecting. A small twelve year old boy laid against a rock. Blood dripped down his blonde hair into his face. He was unconscious on arrival. But he was still breathing. His chest rise was so clear to Kiba.

A small girl screaming and clutching her stomach while laid in a fetal position. And another little girl who was maybe two feet away and lying in the grass. Her uniform had been burnt. Kiba had seen worse. He had seen dead bodies littering the ground. But that was war. He had expected to see that. He didn’t expect to walk out in the training grounds and see three kids covered in burns and crying.

KIba had told her what he had found. His jacket was gone. Haven been torn into pieces and wrapped around different injuries. In replacement his fishnet sleeveless shirt was covering him. He had blood on his arm and some on his hands from carrying the kids. He had ordered Akamaru to go and get someone. And just in three minutes he had brought Shino and Hinata. The only two people outside of his clan who would have listened to him.

Ten eight had hurried into the hospital. Each of them carrying three small children in their arms. Sakura barked orders and each child was put on a bed and into the critical care rooms. While she stayed with Kiba and got the full story. So she knew what to do. Knew what she was going up against.

She placed a hand on his shoulder. Causing him to look up at her. Hands out in front of him. Blood stained his skin. “You did good, Kiba,” Sakura said, smiling faintly at him. They weren’t the closest pair from their academy days. But they had gone through a lot together. All of them did. And she couldn’t help but want to help him. How couldn’t she when he looked like he had just seen a ghost of his past.

“They were so small,” Kiba said with a hard expression.

He could still remember being their age just getting out of the academy and so excited and even cocky. Hell he was very cocky. He thought he was the best of the best, the strongest of the strongest. That nothing could hurt him. He thought he was a ‘ninja’. But now he was looking at those kids and he finally realized. He was just a child given an adult job.

Those kids were supposed to be playing games and having fun. They weren’t exposed to being burnt and bleeding. Not on the front lines. And if a war was to happen tomorrow. Then they were very likely to be sent out. He knew this for a fact. And those three kids would die. He couldn't protect them all. None of them could. How could you protect others when you were trying to stay alive?

Looking past Kiba to his team mates. “Take care of him” She requested. Shino nodded seriously. And Hinata wrapped an arm around the man pulling him her way. No matter the height difference. And how she was at least a foot and a half shorter than him. Kiba followed her lead.

“We will,” she hummed solemnly. Bowing her head an inch to Sakura.

Sakura stood in her hospital and watched as team eight walked out. Instead of the small kids they used to be or even the teenagers they used to be. She watched three growing adults in their early twenties walk out the door. Still close as ever. Closer than her team had ever been…

But that had been six hours ago. Those three little kids, those three little genin were still in the hospital. They weren’t out of the woods. But they were doing better than they were when they got there. When team eight had sprinted through the doors and kiba was screaming her name.

Sighing Sakura’s eyes had shut just a bit as relaxation had begun to settle into her body. And she realized just how tired she was. Then a knock at the door made her body straighten back up. And the relaxation was gone just like that.

“Yes, come in” She called out.

Her face hardened and her stomach skipped a beat expecting the nurse to be coming in about the children. Maybe one of them began to decline. But instead in walked Ayane. She was a small older woman. Who had been working in the hospital as a charge nurse for more than three decades. She was a strict and serious lady. And that’s one reason Sakura got so along with her.

But instead she walked in with almost a giddy expression. And that’s when Sakura noticed the vase in her arms. Pink and white and red flowers sticking out of them. “Ms Haruno someone left these for you” Ayane spoke out with a happy hum in her voice. Eyes roaming down the flowers excitedly.

Sakura didn’t have to ask she knew where they came from. But still she did so anyway. Unsure if she did it to see if the nurse had witnessed him. Or if she was just trying to punish herself. She swallowed the lump in her throat and licked her bottom lip nervously. “No i’m sorry they were just left on the desk”

Frowning, the woman pulled the vase closer to her chest. Like she had done something wrong. “I can go find out for you Ms Haruno” The woman offered sweetly.

Standing up fastly Sakura nearly knocked the cup of pens and pencils off of her desk. Ayane’s eyes widened at the action. And Sakura coughed into her hand. “No it’s okay Ayane” She said waving the woman off.

Before she reached her arms out over the desk. “Here i’ll take them,” she said, nodding a bit. She couldn’t deny that she could feel warmth clawing up her face. And butterflies in her stomach seeing the flowers that were left for her.

The frown disappeared and turned into a large grin. The older woman stepped closer into the room and handed the vase off to Sakura. But just as she was about to walk out of the room. She turned to sakura. “Must be a lucky person to have you” She whistled out. Before walking out of the room and leaving Sakura alone.

Sakura’s face turned pink and she sat the vase down on the desk quickly. And sat back into her chair. “Why would he-” She began swearing under her breath. Before she stopped mid sentence and made a frustrated sound. “He’s making this so hard,” she murmured under her breath.

The flowers were really beautiful; she couldn’t deny that. They look like they came from Ino’s shop. Oh gosh that means she probably pestered him into telling her where the flowers were going and who the mystery person was. Because she didn’t know how to mind her own business. There were white petunias and pink peonies and red poppies.

Running her fingers along the peonies a small piece of white paper caught her attention tucked between the flowers. It was almost like a ball of heat grew in her stomach. And she felt her mouth go dry. She stared at the paper for a moment before she finally grew the courage to pull it out.

It didn’t look like anything special, it was just a plain white piece of paper folded into two. But there her name was. Sakura Haruno. It was for her. No doubt about that. Turning the paper over. Her cheeks grew even darker when she read the note left for her. ‘Meet me at eight, you know where.’

She did know where. Lately she had been visiting that spot more than had her own home. Spending her time there for over half of the week. This thing this agreement had been going on for the last four months. She shouldn’t feel so embarrassed and nervous like she was. But still it felt new to her. It felt different.

The rest of the day felt like it had gone by faster than the whole day combined. Not only had it gone by fast. It felt like she was almost watching herself.

She didn’t know what to wear. She had been going over there for months and now all of a sudden she couldn’t find any clothing out of her whole closet. Sweat pants felt like she didn’t care. And her black dress that she typically wore for this type of thing felt like too much. Too much cleavage and too short in the back.

It would have been so easier if she could have talked to Ino about this. She would know what to wear. She would be able to pick out an outfit and jewelry, a hair style and shoes. Ino was just that type of person , she was her go to person. Even before when they were still butting heads as kids. She was always her person.

Tossing her pink sweatpants out of the closet. Sakura sat in her closest on her knees. Tossing one piece then another and another out behind her head until the floor of her bedroom and even her bed was covered in clothing. It was ridiculous. She was twenty two and she was acting like a teenager.

After all this time. She should have known what was going to happen whenever she got there. But for some reason she just had a feeling that something else was going to happen. Something that she couldn’t prepare for.

It took over twenty minutes but she had finally picked what she was going to wear. It was just a simple green sundress. Almost like the color of moss you would find wrapped around a tree log. Straps that hung on her pale shoulders. A black necklace that sat on her chest. The dress trailed down and to her calves.

It was a special dress. She only wore it to special occasions. It was plain and there really wasn’t anything special to it. Except for the person who gave it to her. Staring at herself in the reflection. Sakura brushed her pink hair out. She had let it grow out for a while. Before cutting it into a bob. Instead of using a kunai she handed Ino a pair of scissors and let her chop away at it.

It just didn’t feel right to have long hair any more. Not after what happened between her and her team. Not after what happened as a child. Either way she was finally ready or at least had to be. And she only had fifteen minutes to get out the door and walk over there. Picking at her dress. It fit her just right. More so than any of her other dresses.

Almost like someone had measured her body with a tape measurer perfectly. Her waist and bust and even how long her arms and legs were. And how wide her shoulders were. Sakura hadn’t been the type of person to dress up at least since she was a child. But this dress made her feel almost like a princess.

Grabbing her purse. The note tucked into the bottom of it. Covered by her makeup and phone. Like a dirty little secret. She began walking out the apartment. The lights flicking off and the door shutting. She continued walking down the staircase and down the sidewalk. Passing the academy and passing the flower shop.

Walking down a familiar she had taken more times then she could count on both of her hands. She knew she was getting closer. Just by the building she was passing. Until she came up to an open gate. A wooden fence that was three times the height of her that was wrapped around multiple buildings.

She knew which building to go to even when there were a dozen of them sitting right there in the middle of the fence in the middle of all the other buildings. A forest that wrapped around the fence. Miles and miles of the silhouette of the trees.

Sakura bypassed the small building and walked up a staircase until she was standing in front of a brown large double sided door. Pinching at her dress. She began fidgeting. She just felt so nervous.

Suddenly the thought of turning back and going home popped into her mind. She couldn't just go home. Nobody was there. Nobody knew she was there. He would never know that she had made it all the way to his home before she chickened out.

Right when her back foot took a step back and she was beginning to turn around. A sound alerted her from behind the door when it swung open. And there he was. Standing behind the door in sweat pants and a t- shirt. His hair pulled up into a long pony tail. And a beard slowly growing at his chin.

Shikamaru nara.

Never in her life would she have expected to have created this … relationship with him. Never did she expect to be in the position she was now. There was no label or tag on what they had. The only way she could describe it was friends with benefits.

He leaned against the doorway and smiled down at her. “Going somewhere?” He questioned smugly. Like he knew she was trying to turn and walk away.

But Sakura cleared her throat and shook her head a little, feeling suddenly embarrassed. “No I didn't think you were home” She said quickly only stammering over her words slightly. God why was she acting so nervous and embarrassed.

Shikamaru looked over at her for a second. Until finally he slid over giving her a chance to walk into the doorway. The same house Sakura had visited so many days and evenings and nights. Somewhere she had spent so much time.

Without a second thought. Sakura walked into the doorway. Shutting it closed behind her gently. She automatically slipped her sandals off leaving them against the door side by side. “How are the kids?” He questioned. Sakura knew he actually meant it. He wasn't just mindlessly asking about her work.

He could be hard to read for others. But for her not so much. She could hear the change in his voice. The way he fidgeted with his fingers once then twice before putting them in his pockets. Almost like he was anxious. “Pretty beat up but they’ll make a recovery” She answered honestly.

Because they were going to be okay. Lots of rest and recovery was coming their way. The worst injuries from the little girl were going to put her out of commission for at least two weeks. But then she would be back to normal. And able to do everything she once did. There were going to be scars but she was going to be alive.

“Everyones talking about it” Shikamaru said next. Fingers still twisting in his pockets. He got word of it as soon as team eight stepped foot into the hospital. Being a jonin commander would do that. He took over after his father was killed in the war. He had to go through some training. And he didn't get the title until he turned twenty. But Shikamaru was still the youngest to ever hold the position. It was tiresome and a pain. But he did enjoy his job.

He continued walking towards the couch. Sitting against the corner of it. Where the lamp shined. And gave just enough light. Just enough light on his face that made her swallow a lump in her throat. Almost like she was a predator looking at a prey. She really needed to calm down. “About how Kiba had saved those genin,” Shikamaru said, continuing.

Nodding her head, Sakura actually smiled proudly. “He did good,” she said slowly. Like she was trying to say her words very carefully. Not every jonin or chunin or genin would have done what he did. Most Shinobi don't have a quarter of the knowledge that medic nin do.

But Sakura had taken it beyond herself to show her friends some basic first aid. How to dress an injury. How to handle burns. How to control bleeding. She can't be there at all times when someone is injured. Her friends or team could be on a mission and get injured and how was she supposed to help from miles apart.

“Never expected for Kiba to be that good in a situation like that” Shikamaru admitted, shaking his head a bit. It wasn’t that he doubted Kiba’s skills. But he didn’t seem like the type to take charge when someone was wounded. In a fight, yes. Or even leading a mission. But he never expected to hear the words that Kiba saved someone's life medically.

Shaking his head a little bit. Like he was trying to stop talking about the incident. “I see you wore the dress” Shikamaru said changing subjects. His eyes raked down her green dress that wrapped around her figure perfectly. In his eyes she was the most beautiful woman alive.

Sakura looked down at the dress. Running a hand down it. At the soft fabric. “It felt right to wear it” she said softly. Shoulders slumping a bit.

“I’m glad you did,” he said honestly.

“It looks beautiful on you” At that sakura brushed her hair back behind her ears and out of her eyes. Cheeks turning a darker shade of red.

Shuffling closer to him. Only taking a couple steps forward. Feet twisting against the floor boards below her. Fresh pink nail polish on her toes. Sakura fidgeted with her left wrist in front of her dress. Like she was trying to work up the courage to say something. “What were the flowers for?” Sakura asked in a low whisper.

There was something about Shikamaru that just made her feel shy and small sometimes. He didn't push her down. Not at all. He was nothing but sweet and respectful to her. It's just he made her feel like a teenager again. And other times he made her feel confident and pretty about herself.

Smiling at her. Shikamaru sat with his back against the couch. And his elbows resting on his knees. So he was looking at her. “What flowers?” He asked with a small smile threatening to break on his face. He was messing with her.

Huffing Sakura crossed her arms across her chest. She was more embarrassed than annoyed. But it's like she was getting irritated so he wouldn't see how embarrassed she was and how he was affecting her so much. So maybe he wouldn’t see the red on her cheeks.“Don’t play with me” She mumbled under her breath.

“Maybe you have a secret admirer” He joked with a teasing tone. A chuckle escaping from his lips.

Beginning to turn around. Sakura tried to walk away. She shouldn’t have come here, it was a mistake. Why was she so stupid. Why did she have to start this thing with him? Because she felt alone? Because she was embarrassed she was the only person apart of the twelve to still be a virgin.

“No wait Sakura” Shikamaru called out. The big grin only turned down just a little. But she didn’t want to stop. She kept going. Trying to head to the door like she hadn’t even heard him call her name. But he got a hold of her waist and pulled her back closer to him. So that Sakura was facing him.

Sitting up forward on the couch. He tugged her closer. Until Sakura was standing between his legs. Both of his hands wrapped around her waist. “Why can't I give you flowers?” Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow. Like he was studying Sakura's face hard.

She opened her mouth but closed it back unsure where to even begin. Staring down at his knees. Not wanting to look up at him. Shikamaru pushed her chin up with one finger so she was looking into his eyes. “C'mon love you can tell me” he said softly. Just his voice made her stomach turn like butterflies were flying around. He sounded so genuine and so sweet. Not to mention the way he called her love. Her face and stomach felt so warm she was afraid that he could see a blush on her face.

She hadn't ever had anyone call her by a sweet nickname. She's had nicknames before. Mean nicknames such as forehead by ino. Or affectionate ones from her parents such as sunshine or sweetie. But hearing shikamaru call her a nickname. Well that was different. “That’s something people do for their girlfriends” She said slowly.

“Do you wanna be my girlfriend?” Shikamaru asked. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like he wasn't worried about the consequences. Like he actually had feelings for her…

Fidgeting with her dress. She couldn't go anywhere. Well in reality she could. She could take a step back and she could force his hands away from her hips. But she wasn't going to do it. He wasn't forcing her there, he wasn't using his shadow jutsu. “Kind of,” she admitted. Turning her face down again and towards the floor.

Looking away from the floor. Sakura looked out the window. The moon was full and shining down light on a small pond in the yard. Causing a reflection to bounce off of it. “I don’t want you to feel pity for me” She said without looking at him. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to try” She said, annoyed even though it hurt her to say so.

“Why don't you think I could have feelings for you?” Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Because Temari…” She began her words trailing off. Like she was unsure what to even say.

But Shikamaru squeezed her waist. Cutting her off before she could even keep speaking. He wouldn’t even let her finish the sentence.“That's over” He said hard as if it was final. Anything that he could have had with Temari was over with. It just wasn't meant to be. But Sakura, them. The two of them were made to happen.

Shikamaru always wanted something easy. Someone who was quiet and they could be quiet together. But then he met Sakura. And he fell for her. He didn’t want it easy. He wanted all of her. The strong, smart and beautiful kunochi that she was. He wanted her even when she was easily irritated and yelled. Or the way she could get stuck in a book for hours.

“How do you think I couldn't fall for you?” Shikamaru asked, feeling somewhat hurt. At least upset. How could she think he wouldn’t get feelings for her? Half of the man in the village was attracted to her. As much as it pained him to say so. “How couldn't I fall for the way you're the strongest and most beautiful woman around. Capable of putting me in the hospital and taking care of me” He said, causing a smile to break out on her lips.

Pulling her by the waist until she was sitting in his lap. Her thighs were straddling him. The green dress pulled up and showed off the pale white skin of her thighs. And her face was completely red from embarrassment. “You're one of the most intelligent people I've ever met” He said as one hand was still wrapped around her waist. The other moved the small piece of pink hair that dropped into her face.

“The look you make when you're thinking” He listed off.

Pushing the piece of hair behind her ear. Shikamaru’s thumb rubbed against her bottom lip. The lip gloss rubbing off onto his finger. But there wasn’t a care in the world. The two were looking into each other's eyes like they were the only people in the world that mattered. Leaning closer Shikamaru turned his head and whispered into her ear. Despite being the only people in the whole house. “The sounds you make when I'm on top of you” He whispered with a crooked grin on his lips.

Causing a wave of heat to rush through her body. Sitting on his lap she had no choice but to hold onto him or else she would fall off of him and hit the floor. Her arms wrapped around his neck. Her thighs squeezed as he whispered into her ear unintentionally.

Moving away from her ear so that they were looking into each other's eyes again. Face to face and only inches away from each other. “I like you Sakura and I want more than what we have. I want to take you on dates in public and I want to hold your hand when we're walking through the village” Shikamaru listed off. He was almost unable to stop talking. Now that his feelings were pouring out he didn't know if he could quiet them.

“I want everyone to know you're my girlfriend” Just the words made Sakura's stomach warm. Almost like when drinking a hot drink. And it made her body feel light as a feather.

“So Sakura Haruno, will you be my girlfriend?” Shikamaru questioned hope lingering in his voice. Despite the courage and the confident persona. His stomach felt heavy with fear that she was going to say no. That he made a fool of himself in front of her.

Instead Sakura moved her hand away and grabbed his left cheek. Looking into his brown eyes. She looked hard into his eyes. Like she was trying to read into his soul. Like she was trying to see if there was anything in him to say otherwise. But all she felt was love. “I will,” Sakura whispered giddy. A small smile on her lips. The moon reflected into the window making the lip gloss on her lips look extra shiny.

“Well can I give my girlfriend her first kiss?” Shikamaru breathed out. His eyes were already stuck to her lips. Like a magnet drawing him down to them.

“With me that is” He added as an after thought. The two looked at each other for a moment until a grin appeared on both of their faces that turned into a laugh.

After laughing Sakura giggled one more time and nodded at Shikamaru. Her arms adjusting and sitting around his stomach. Shikamaru leaned in looking into her eyes one more time. He pressed his lips against hers like he was dying for a kiss. Like her lips was oxygen and he was suffocating.

She didn’t expect any of this to happen. She didn’t expect to fall in love with Shikamaru and she didn’t expect to ask him to be friends with benefits with her. But she really wouldn’t change a thing. Not when it led her here. Sitting on her boyfriend. And kissing him on his couch. Happiness fluttered through her body almost the same way a poison runs through your body.