Chapter Text
Remus had always hated his habit of overthinking.
His thoughts were often the only thing keeping him sane, and sometimes, his only company in a room full of anxiety and loneliness.
It was easy to quiet others, easy to stand back and let the stillness settle in when all he needed was his own company. But he had never been good at silencing his own mind, and that often ended up hurting him.
He hated this habit of slowly poking at every sensitive part of himself, over and over again, while his thoughts attacked him like a swarm of angry bees. He stayed stuck in the same memories, unable to enjoy simple things like walking through the city or riding his bike down the avenue, because somehow, everything led him back to the same place. The same time.
And no matter how much he tried to distract his mind with work, no matter how much he tried to keep himself busy and constantly meeting new people, all those efforts would always be in vain when his birthday arrived.
Remus Lupin hated his birthday.
That hadn’t always been the case. He could still remember when it was the day he looked forward to most. When he was little, he would wait eagerly for the clock to strike twelve, thinking it would make him feel a little more grown up.
Now, all those two zeroes did was make his chest ache.
His birthday had become a reminder of everything he’d lost, and everything he could never have. A day that marked time moving on without him, a quiet countdown that brought back the loneliness and ghosts of his past. Each year, the feeling grew heavier, and he found himself withdrawing more and more, unable to deal with the memories that surfaced.
He remembered the days when his parents would make a big fuss, decorating the house with colorful streamers and balloons. His mother would bake a cake, always his favorite flavor, and his father would tell him stories that made him laugh until his sides hurt. But those days were gone, lost to the past, and no amount of wishing could bring them back.
He had never believed in wishes to stars, but he once knew a boy, a boy named after a star who would make wishes come true. He once knew him, and loved him. A boy who had given a new meaning to the moon and to being happy, a boy who had shown him what it truly meant to be alive.
He had been a rarity, a rarity among millions of ordinary souls. He had been the prettiest star, and he found in him more than just company, but a guiding light.
But stars, as fleeting as they are enchanting, are bound by the immutable laws of the universe. And just as swiftly as he had entered his life, the boy named after a star departed, leaving behind a trail of stardust and bittersweet memories. And as the years slipped by, Remus found himself adrift in a sky full of those memories, unable to escape the haunting echo of what once was, and what could never be again.