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Chapter Text

Remus Lupin always held himself with dignity; he was a Gryffindor prefect for Merlin’s sake. His wide, strong shoulders were always squared, and while the rest of his frame was lethe, his perfect posture kept him from appearing lanky or awkward. His golden eyes kept to his own parchment in every class and his large hands always held his quill in a confident grip, calmly scribbling all the correct answers down. Soft curls kissed the top of his head, never daring to grow long enough to hide the strong cheekbones that defined his face. Remus was smarter than anyone Sirius knew, an astonishing feat for a muggle-born. He was a shoe-in for head boy when the time came. Not only was his brain a sponge, but he was kind and empathetic, a true friend to anyone lucky enough to get close with him. His caring nature also allowed him to be incredibly humble; for all the accomplishments he made, he never once bragged.

He was perfection, and Sirius felt like a downright loser in comparison.

Although coming from a prestigious family such as the Blacks, and being the first born heir at that, Sirius Black thought himself to pale in comparison to the being sculpted by gods that was Remus. His tangled dark curls rested on his slim shoulders, his build more spindly than anything. He couldn’t keep his cold grey eyes from wandering to his classmates’ tests, never one to study. The only redeeming quality he seemed to possess in this moment was his print-like handwriting, a skill that was literally beaten into him at a young age. He did his best to concentrate on the boring material in front of him but he truly couldn’t stop his mind from wandering to the boy sat across the room.

Alas, Sirius’s stares would come to an end as the bell rang and students from both houses rose from their seats to hand in their exam. He glanced back down at his paper to see only half the questions done, no doubt majority of them being copied answers. As Remus slung his bag over his shoulder and dropped his parchment on Professor McGonagall’s desk, Sirius allowed himself to take a few last fleeting glances at the broad back presented to him before he’d have to float through his next classes with only memories of Remus in his mind.

***

Meals had always been Sirius’s favorite time of day; no exams or notetaking, no professors telling them to stop talking, delicious mountains of food prepared by the house elves, and the perfect view of Remus’s back. His tall figure was always so easy to spot among the crowd, his mop of curly brown hair standing high above everyone else. The best sight was when he’d throw his head back in a delighted burst of laughter at something James or Peter said. It always made Sirius smile himself.

“The Hufflepuff table is that way oh sweet Sirius,” Regulus teased as he sat down next to him. It earned him a rough shove from the now blushing boy. A blush so easily seen on his pale skin.

“Come off it. Just because I actually have an interest in other human beings doesn’t mean I’m that soft.”

“Whatever you say, dear brother.” Regulus left Sirius to stare. He let his mind wander as he tuned out the chatter of his peers around him. He imagined what it would be like to wrap his arms around those strong shoulders in a back hug or to be thrown over one in the middle of rough housing like he’d spied many times when Remus would run around with his friend group during free periods. He fantasized about looping his arm around Remus’s stronger yet lean one, or placing his hands on his beautifully sculpted face for a sweet kiss. He wondered how much give the skin and muscles on his sweaty back would have as Sirius dug his fingernails in, creating crescents much like the moon itself.

Sirius’s speeding train of thought was interrupted as he realized his focused gaze had been broken, not by the body of a passing student or professor, but instead by the eyes of his very own subject of affections: Remus. Their locked eyes didn’t waver as Sirius’s consciousness was pulled back to the present, though he’s sure his widened a fraction. Remus stared back with a slightly puzzled look, undoubtedly wondering why this random Slytherin was boring holes into his back.

Sirius looked to the side as he was worried Remus might suddenly become a mindreader and be quickly disgusted with him. He immediately shoved some bread into his pocket to take with him as he rushed from the Great Hall to start his free period early, hoping the cool fall air of the courtyard would get rid of the intensely warm blush reddening his cheeks.

***

As days and weeks passed, the leaves on the trees continued to fall and Sirius had less opportunity to sneak outside once the sun had set. Besides his brother, he didn’t have many friends within his house. They all either came from noble families like his which made them self-centered and snobbish or wished they had come from a family as well-known as his own which made them kiss-ups and moochers. Sirius lost track of how many of his peers had attempted to befriend him, only looking to gain notoriety or status, things Sirius couldn’t care less about. Regulus had managed better, not caring that his small group of more humble rich kids came from the same background. Sirius longed for a group of real friends, like the one Remus had. Although there were pure-bloods within his circle, like James Potter, that wasn’t what defined their bonds. Instead, their friendship grew through camaraderie and laughter and shared interests. It was safe to say that Sirius was jealous.

And so Sirius walked the halls alone during his free time, deciding that the library would be a nice quiet place to study (daydream). As usual, his mind was elsewhere as he rushed down the corridor, so it came as no surprise when he ran right into a wall. Except, it wasn’t a wall. Sirius’s books dropped to the ground, and in his haste to pick them up he didn’t even spare a glance at who he had crashed right into until his hand connected with the one also attempting to pick up the textbook- the hand that he would recognize anywhere.

His head shot up quickly, coming face to face with the one and only Remus Lupin, the object of his pining for several years now. Sirius’s mouth went dry, an apology attempting to escape but the words never coming.

“Sorry,” Remus spoke first. His steady and sure voice sounding much more confident than Sirius’s ever would have. “I shouldn’t have been looking at my book in the hall, I didn’t even see you there.”

“Uh…” Great start Sirius, that’ll really sweep him off his feet. “It’s alright, I obviously wasn’t looking either.” His voice came out with a slight nervous quiver that he was hoping Remus wouldn’t notice.

At that moment, Sirius realized their hands were still connected, laying on his book that splayed across the floor, similar to how he would lay across his bed later in utter embarrassment thinking about this moment. Sirius begrudgingly pulled his cold hand away from Remus’s warm touch to gather his books, standing upright. Remus followed, holding out one of Sirius’s books that he grabbed with his own.

“Maybe next time you shouldn’t be wandering the halls with a wandering mind,” Remus smirked. Gods he looked so good with the corner of his mouth tipped like that. Sirius could feel the heat of his blush rising to his cheeks.

“Sounds like good advice.”

Remus’s smirk turned into a polite smile at that as he continued to walk in the opposite direction of Sirius who so longed to follow.

 

***

The touch of Remus’s hand on his plagued Sirius’s mind for nights to come. He lay in bed awake just thinking about its warmth. He tried his hardest not to think pervertedly, he swears. To Sirius, love should remain innocent, no matter how hard lust attempted to dirty it. He was not a stranger to lust, his rebellious streak finding himself persuading girls and boys alike for a quickie in the back room of some fancy party his parents had dragged him to. He wasn’t always caught but when he was, the punishments were harsh. Though the satisfaction he gained from knowing he was assassinating his parent’s status always made it worth it.

Is that what this was though? Love? Did he love Remus Lupin when he had only just shared his first words with him in that quiet corridor? He wasn’t quite sure he was there yet. It was definitely an infatuation, however- a crush. And to Sirius, a crush could be dirty. It could be sweet and airy in the daytime but sweaty and filthy at night.

As he laid in wake, his mind never seeming to stop wandering, Sirius couldn’t help but think about Remus’s hand. Big, warm, much more tanned than his own. It could easily hold his waist or his throat. His long fingers would tangle perfectly in his hair, easily grabbing a big section to pull. He thought of how his hands would feel ghosting over his bare ass only to grab his whole cheek in one hand.

With his curtains closed, Sirius snaked his own hand down his body, wishing it was Remus’s as it finally made contact with the hard bulge in his pants. He rubbed, letting out a small whimper as he applied more pressure. Sirius let his mind wander as his hips bucked, thinking only about Remus and the smirk that he hoped would appear at the sight of Sirius’s flushed and sweaty body. He dreamt of praises falling from the taller boy’s mouth.

“You look so pretty, Sirius.”
“You sound so sexy, Sirius.”
“I can’t wait to fuck you, Sirius.”

Sirius’s erection was suddenly too confined in his underwear and pants. He scrambled to take them off, hoping none of his roommates would hear the bed squeaking in his haste.

“Wouldn’t want them to hear you being a dirty boy. Your moans are just for me.”

Sirius flung himself face first into his pillows to quiet the moan that was ripped from him at the thought of Remus teasing him like that. The new position allowed him to rut against the sheets in a depraved way that Sirius would be incredibly embarrassed to admit.

“Humping the bed like a dog? If you stay quiet enough, I’ll let you cum.”

Sirius imagined Remus laughing at the sorry state he was in. He bit his lip hard at the noise that threatened to burst loudly out of his mouth.

“Good boy.”

Sirius whined high and pitchy into his pillow, his hips speeding up and no doubt causing his bed to squeak loudly. He didn’t care; all he couldn’t think about was Remus, Remus, Remus.

“If you can’t stay quiet on your own, I’ll have to shut you up myself.”

The Remus in his fantasy shoved his long, gorgeous fingers into Sirius’s mouth, which he then emulated in real life, using the digits to quiet the noises that wouldn’t stop escaping his mouth. The drag of his pre-cum slicked dick on the bed sheets created a friction so mind-numbingly good, Sirius could barely think. His mind became clouded with the thought of Remus hovering over him from behind, dragging his own member over Sirius’s ass, teasing him. His warm breath wafting over the back of Sirius’s neck as Remus panted, somehow still holding himself together in the sweaty air enclosed in the curtains. Sirius’s wet fingers quickly found their way to his dick, a jolt of pleasure coursing through him as he circled his thumb around the head. He rolled onto his back for better access, biting on the skin of his free hand. He imagined biting into the strong shoulder of the other boy, hopefully eliciting a moan that was sure to sound like the sweetest symphony.

“Are you close? Gonna come just from humping my leg like a bitch in heat?”

The humiliation Sirius felt from the question was enough to bring him over the edge. He came with a deep moan deafened by the back of his hand, his cock leaking all over his other hand. He laid in the silence of his dorm room, panting in an attempt to catch his breath. The shame that begged to sneak into the back of his mind was no match for the exhaustion that was now evident. Sirius didn’t have any energy to clean himself up, electing to just wipe his gross, dirty hand on his sheets and hope they got washed tomorrow.

As sleep overtook his mind, the small smile of Remus’s appeared once more in Sirius’s head.

Chapter Text

Sirius Black was by no means average, though somehow his reputation swallowed him whole. Remus, however, saw right through the status and the riches to gaze longingly at the beautiful boy behind it all. His face looked as if it was carved in stone by the most skilled artist to ever live, accented by misty grey eyes that reminded Remus of the night sky; it made him much less afraid of the stars. His dark black hair was consistently messy but Remus liked it; it showed character. He liked it best when Sirius would tuck some strands behind his ear when he was focusing hard in class, it made him appear regal yet soft. His slim form was nothing to underestimate as under his loose robes was a form so perfectly shaped from countless hours of quidditch. Spending so much time on a broomstick had allowed his muscles to shape the most insanely toned butt and thighs; any class that Remus had to sit directly behind Sirius in was a nightmare as he could never bring himself to look at the board when those pretty waist and hips and ass and thighs were seated directly in his line of sight. His skin was incredibly fair, contrasting with his raven curls. But his most attractive feature in Remus’s eyes was his wit. He was sharp as a tack and incredibly intelligent. Although he wasn’t too keen on applying himself in class, he was still a prodigy student. Sirius knew of hexes that even some professors had never heard of, and he never had to try hard in practical tests, easily creating perfect potions on the first try. Sure Remus could study better than anyone at Hogwarts, but no one would ever beat Sirius Black in a battle of wits.

He was perfection, and Remus knew he would never be deserving enough.

He was taller than all his classmates even in his first year; he stuck out amongst the heads like a sore thumb. His mother and father had drilled good posture into him as a kid which didn’t help his height issue. His unruly hair had to be kept somewhat short unless Remus wanted to lose any bit of control he had over it. He always felt awkward and too warm and out of place and anxious; he‘d felt that way for so long that he learned to mask it, but it was still there underneath his goody-two-shoes layers. Then there were his scars. There was nothing he hated more than his scars. Ugly, self-inflicted scratches that grew in number every month since he was a little boy.

The colder months were always Remus’s favorite as they allowed him to wear long pants and sleeves constantly without odd stares or overheating. It was also the perfect time to read outside. Every holiday Remus returned to school with a pile of muggle books that he wouldn’t be able to find in the Hogwarts library; classics like Romeo and Juliet or The Picture of Dorian Gray. He loved to spend his free period on the benches in the courtyard with his nose stuffed in the pages, only looking up to check for a head of dark, flowing curls.

Remus and Sirius had never talked, not before the other day in the hall, but the boy had immediately caught Remus’s attention once he sat on the stool in front of the whole Great Hall for sorting. His mind was completely divided on whether he hoped to be sorted into the same house. Did he want Sirius to be so far away, only being able to steal fleeting glances in class or at mealtimes? Or did he want the torture of having to sleep next to a creature so magnificent every night but not being allowed to touch?

As Remus fantasized about watching Sirius’s steady breaths every night, his focus was pulled to the real boy himself, crossing the courtyard with such determination he obviously had something to attend to. Sirius finished his strides not too far from Remus, the perfect distance to watch but unable to hear anything that was coming out of Sirius’s obviously furious mouth.

The raven haired boy was yelling profusely at another Slytherin- Lestrange maybe? Remus wasn’t too sure. The glare coming from those grey eyes would’ve been detectable from miles away as he pointed forcefully into his classmate’s chest. Lestrange tried to appear unaffected but was having a hard time holding in the anger growing on his own face. Both boys were now shouting, loud enough for Remus to have heard if their voices didn’t overlap so much.

Then it happened. Sirius started it.

He obviously was fed up with anything Lestrange had to say as he threw the first punch, reeling his arm back to give a forceful blow to the other’s cheek. Sirius received a punch right back, straight across his jaw. Remus saw the bit of blood that Sirius spit onto the grass right before the previously building circle of students closed around, blocking his view from a now obviously ongoing scuffle.

Remus in that moment remembered he wasn’t just a curious onlooker but in fact a prefect and therefore should probably try to break up the fight. He quickly closed his novel, not worrying about bookmarking it- he’d just find the right page later. His long legs took only a few strides to reach the students rimmed around the boys, egging the fight on with cheers and shouts. Remus had no problem shoving himself through the wall of peers at his height, stumbling upon the sight of a vengeful Sirius on top of Lestrange, throwing several punches down.

Remus couldn’t help his mind wandering to imagine Sirius on top of him like that, sweaty and panting in a different way than what appeared before him. Quickly, he snapped out of his dirty thoughts, the scene in front of him becoming a more pressing issue as Lestrange was able to grab a fistful of Sirius’s locks, something that ticked Remus off more than he’d ever admit out loud.

“Hey! Hey! Break it up!” Remus shouted, only for it to go nowhere. The crowd around him was too excited to see a proper smackdown. At this point, Sirius and Lestrange had rolled over several times, fighting for the upper hand. Remus watched in horror as Lestrange, in a moment of powerful anger, took Sirius by two fistfuls of hair and smashed his head into the ground underneath. It was obvious that Sirius saw stars for a few seconds as Lestrange took the opportunity to stand, landing some solid kicks into his side. Once Sirius regained his awareness, he grabbed Lestrange by the ankle, ripping the boy to the floor. Sirius clumsily climbed on top once again, attempting to choke his classmate.

Remus sprung into action before Sirius could kill him, seizing the raven haired body around the middle and lifting him off Lestrange. Sirius was kicking and screaming, literally clawing at Remus’s arms, a feeling he couldn’t help but blush at.

“Get the fuck off me! Let me at him! Get your hands off!”

Thankfully Ravenclaw’s prefect must’ve heard the commotion and came running. He penetrated the circle to tackle Lestrange as he scrambled to his hands and feet, making as if to lunge at Sirius who ceaselessly fought in Remus’s arms.

“You’re a fucking brat, Black! How would your mommy and daddy feel about you rolling through the mud with another guy?” Lestrange shouted, looking to hit Sirius where it stung.

Sirius let out a guttural yell and tugged at Remus’s arms, still unaware of who was holding him back.

“Fuck you! Actually I’ve fucked guys with pricks ten times the size of yours!” Somehow the admission didn’t embarrass Sirius but it did cause Remus to feel the heat of a blush rise to his cheeks. He also felt the nagging tug of jealousy pull at his insides.

“Ok that’s enough!” The Ravenclaw prefect yelled, easily restraining Lestrange with the help of more upperclassmen. “Get him out of here, Remus!”

Remus took the hint and began half carrying half dragging Sirius out of the circle and across the courtyard. The crowd started to dissipate as they lost interest now that no more punches and kicks were being thrown. Sirius struggled all the way to the edge of the courtyard where Remus (begrudgingly) let go of him. He stumbled, not prepared to be dropped and landed on his ass.

Holy. Shit.

Remus almost lost all his composure at the sight in front of him. Sirius sat on the ground, his hair completely tangled and disturbed from both Lestrange pulling it and the way he crazily shook his head as Remus dragged him away. He was sweaty and panting, understandably out of breath and exhausted, his chest heaving with every ragged breath he took. A deep red spot of blood could be found on his lower lip, obviously where Lestrange’s first punch hit him. Thankfully the other boy was too uncoordinated to land any more blows to Sirius’s face, opting to use hair pulling and kneeing to attack. His glare was sharp and deadly, filled with hatred that Remus had to remind himself was directed at someone no longer in sight. The tall boy became a tad more nervous with the stare aimed directly at him, figuring that Sirius was also mad that Remus dragged him from the scuffle.

“You need to relax.” Remus mustered the courage to say. “Fighting is prohibited on campus. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking ‘I’m gonna kill this cunt.’” Sirius said with clenched teeth.

“Language!”

Suddenly, Professor McGonagall burst onto the green lawn. Her quick steps were headed directly towards Remus and Sirius who were shaded by a large tree.

“Mr. Lupin! Do enlighten me as to what has just occurred?” Her voice was shrill, an obvious tell to how furious she was. Sure students got in little spats, but usually a hex or two were cast. It was rare that real punches were thrown.

“Well I saw a crowd forming so I went to see what was happening, which is where I found Mr. Black and Mr. Lestrange, both of Slytherin, caught in a tussle.” Remus calmly explained. He glanced at Sirius who had finally stopped panting but looked equally as rage filled.

“Mr. Black! What has gotten into you? I have no choice but to give you detention. Seeing as I obviously can’t put both you and Mr. Lestrange in a classroom together I will have to think of an alternative.” McGonagall turned her attention back to Remus. “Unfortunately Mr. Slughorn and his prefects are quite busy with potions study groups and… Slug Club.” A grimace appeared on her face. “I will have to enlist you, Mr. Lupin.”

Remus’s eyes grew wide.

“Starting tomorrow night, Mr. Lupin will chaperone your detention Mr. Black. Tomorrow night in my classroom. For 1 full week. Don’t be late.” She turned around, about to take off to deliver the same news to the poor Ravenclaw prefect you had unknowingly became Lestrange’s keeper. “Oh, and get to the infirmary immediately."

Remus stood in shock. He and Sirius had barely even had a conversation and now he had to spend every night with him for several hours. For a week?!

“Fuck.” The sound of Sirius’s voice made Remus jump just a bit, forgetting the boy was sat on the floor right next to him. Remus looked down, seeing Sirius mostly calm but obviously still angry. He pushed himself off the ground, sharply turning to head inside, hopefully to see Madame Pomfrey. Remus was left standing under the big tree, his heart racing at the prospect of being alone in a classroom with Sirius for hours. His hand ran over the raised scratches left from Sirius’s nails. They stood out from the rest of Remus’s scars. And they made him shiver.

***

Remus arrived early to McGonagall’s classroom as expected, nervous and a little sweaty if he was being honest.

“I don’t really care what he does during his time, but no fooling around and don’t let him bother you.” The phrase ‘fooling around’ had Remus’s mind start floating to other fantasies briefly before McGonagall continued. “Of course you can use this time to study and do your own work, Remus. I’m truly sorry to put you in this predicament.” She laid a motherly hand on his shoulder, a truly apologetic look in her eye. Remus just gave a polite smile in return.

As McGonagall made her way towards the door, it opened. An annoying looking Sirius stood in the path, obviously unhappy to be there.

“Ah, there you are Mr. Black. You better be on your best behavior for Mr. Lupin as he will report directly to me about any misbehavior. You may work on school work or study, but nothing else. Keep quiet and think about what you’ve done.” Her tone was much more stern than it was with Remus and she hurried out the door once she was finished.

“Are you not gonna ask why?” Sirius shouted at the closed door.

“I will.” Remus couldn’t help it. His curiosity immediately got the better of him.

Sirius looked at him with a defensive stare. “What’s it to you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe if you had a good enough reason, I could suggest to Professor McGonagall that you didn’t need a full week.” Remus suggested. He watched as Sirius cautiously crossed the room, planting himself down at a random table, his books clattering loudly in the empty space. Remus hoped that either Sirius’s reasoning for picking the fight was utterly idiotic or that McGonagall refused to lower the sentence. He thought this might be the only time he’d get to truly spend with the raven haired boy.

“What if I don’t want to share with you?” Sirius’s voice was much less confident now. Remus could swear he saw a blush rising to his pale cheeks.

Remus tried to play it cool, just shrugging in response. He watched as Sirius looked away, his arms crossed in front of him. He looked like a little kid getting in trouble with his parents.

Remus dropped the subject, choosing to bring his Divination homework out instead. He wasn’t usually one to believe in this sort of magic- fortunes and horoscopes were just a bit too kitsch for his liking. The class allowed him unlimited access to the astronomy tower, however. Another place he liked to go for alone time and stare at the stars, focusing on the brightest one he could see.

Sirius opened his books too, obviously having no other choice. It seemed like he was working on potions, probably something more advanced than the rest of the class. Slughorn saw his potential even if he didn’t apply himself; he would wave his homework grade as long as Sirius made a perfect potion on the practical exams. They both sat in silence, the only sounds being the scratch of quilts and the turning of pages. Remus was positively buzzing in his seat. He couldn’t believe he was in a room all alone with Sirius Black and couldn’t talk with him. What he wanted most was to bend the boy right over that table and have his way with him until he was positively fucked out. But alas, homework it was.

After a while, Remus glanced up to make sure Sirius was still working, which he was, a hand rubbing the back of his neck in concentration, a couple strands of hair tucked behind his ear. That’s when Remus saw it.

“Ah. I understand now.” His voice sounded so loud in the quiet room, Sirius couldn’t help but startle.

“What?” He replied, taking a glance at the tall boy across the room. Remus gestured to the side of his neck, and Sirius’s hand immediately shot up to cover a large section of hair. He broke eye contact, shying away from Remus’s golden ones.

“Stupid, right?” Sirius made quick work of untucking his hair, once again hiding the cut strands and missing chunk.

“I don’t think so. It’s quite rude to cut someone else’s hair.” Remus continued to stare, anger knocked at the back of his brain. The thought of someone trying to forcibly alter Sirius’s beauty made him incredibly pissed, frankly put. “You’re lucky he cut the underneath. That way you can hide it until it grows back.”

“Yeah well that wasn’t all they’ve done.” Sirius still wouldn’t make eye contact so he missed the way Remus’s head tilted like a puppy’s in curiosity.

“What do you mean?”

“Teenage boys can be oh so cruel.” When Remus gave no response, Sirius looked back up. Remus was just staring in curiosity, but there was also a blatant amount of empathy shining through. “A couple weeks ago they broke my broom. Obviously they don’t want to win the house cup as much as everyone else.” Sirius’s attempt at humor was only met with a sad look from Remus. He waved his hand in front of his face. “I just bought a new one. That wasn’t a big deal. About a month ago they also smashed a picture I had on my bedside of my family. Honestly that one was more like a favor; I’m surprised I didn’t do it first. They’ve honestly tried to mess with me a lot. Guess they finally found the one thing I actually care about.”

“Aren’t they supposed to be your friends?”

“Those guys?” Sirius let out a sarcastic laugh. “Never in a million years. Sure our parents are friends but they’re all nothing but a bunch of sniveling brats. Lestrange, Malfoy, all of them. They can’t get over the fact that I don’t care about what Mummy and Daddy dearest have to say about me. If I hadn't gotten sorted into Slytherin I think my parents would’ve disowned me, isn’t that ridiculous? Why would I care what they think?”

Remus stared with an intense amount of sympathy, it honestly made Sirius a bit uncomfortable. All the tall boy wanted to do was cross the room and kiss him. Kiss him until everything and everyone else disappeared. Remus wanted to make him happy. Take him away from all the terrible people and things in Sirius’s life. Take him back to his little oceanside cottage and live a magic free life where the name of Black meant nothing. He wanted to give Sirius his own last name so that he didn’t need to associate with any of those cruel people.

“I’m sorry,” is what he settled on. “That sounds awful. You should tell McGonagall, I’m sure she’d do something about it.”

“She can’t, she’s not the head of my house. And Slughorn is too busy with his Slime Club to care about the interpersonal relationships of his students.” Sirius stated dejectedly. “It’s alright, I can handle myself.”

‘I wish I could handle them for you.’ Remus thought to himself.

Chapter Text

Walking into detention the following night left Sirius feeling disappointed. McGonagall was sitting at her desk, no Remus in sight. It wasn’t like the tall boy to be late so Sirius knew he wasn’t coming at all. Maybe things got too personal last night. Maybe Remus didn’t care for his sob story; thought he was a loser for fighting someone over some hair, it would grow back. Sirius trudged dejectedly to his table, the thump of his books catching the professor’s attention.

“Ah, Sirius! Thank you for coming on time. Unfortunately, Remus is feeling a bit under the weather tonight, so I will be overseeing your detention. Don’t get too attached, though, because he’ll be back tomorrow.” She said with a cheeky smirk.

Sirius tried his best to hide the smile on his face. He kept his head down for the rest of the time, doing as much homework as he could but it was hard. His mind wouldn’t stop wandering to Remus. He hoped he didn’t feel too bad, it wasn’t likely if he was already expected to be back tomorrow.

Sirius revealed just a bit too much than he wanted last night, but he couldn’t stop himself. Every question from Remus left like a command, he wanted to obey, be a good boy. He longed to hear those words every time he answered a question, though he knew it’d never come. He wanted Remus to come over and brush his hair off his shoulders, feel the cut strands in his hands. Sirius wanted him to trace his cut bottom lip with his finger; it would be so easy for Sirius to open his mouth and take the boy’s thumb in. Lick and suck until it was wet and there was spit sliding down his chin. Maybe Remus would hold his tongue down so that he couldn’t talk back, stick his own tongue in Sirius’s mouth and explore. Or maybe he’d stick something else in his mouth.

The sound of Professor McGonagall closing her book to pick up another broke Sirius from his dirty thoughts. He was painfully hard in his trousers, feeling tight and hot. He had to get it together before it was time to leave or else he’d be waddling out of there uncomfortably. But he’d tuck all those thoughts away for when he was alone in bed later.

***

All through the next day, Sirius kept an eye out for Remus, wondering if he truly wasn’t sick anymore. He didn’t come to the class they had together in the morning, and he was absent from his friends in the Great Hall during meals. Sirius started to worry, unsure if he could take wasting another detention on just McGonagall. He knew these nights were the most he would ever get of the handsome boy, so he was worried he’d lose another.

When Sirius hesitantly walked through the classroom doors, he let out a small breath of relief at the sight of Remus. He stood behind the professor’s desk, head down, laying out all the textbooks and assignments he was most likely going to attempt to complete tonight. It looked like more than usual, though Sirius figures that comes with missing all your classes for two days.

Sirius silently took his seat, not wanting to disturb the boy’s concentration. Once he was settled himself, he took the opportunity to stare, hoping Remus wouldn’t catch him. Something wasn’t right, though. His usually perfect curls were messy, like he’d been running his hands through them non-stop. His usually tanned skin was paler, almost sickly and a bit dirty looking like he hadn’t showered after playing around outside– like how Sirius looked after his fight. He caught a glimpse of some scars on his arms as his sleeve pulled when he reached to readjust a book, they were red and more raised– almost as if they were new. Sirius thought he looked a bit lethargic as well, the small peeks of his face that Sirius got showed exhaustion; deep, dark eye bags and gaunt cheeks. His robes were disheveled, a bit askew on his shoulders, very unlike the always put-together and tidy Remus that Sirius had come to know from afar. He must’ve had a hell of an illness to deplete the boy this much in a single night.

“Feeling better?” Sirius couldn’t stop himself from asking. He needed to know if the object of his affection was ok at least.

The speech made Remus jump, more than if he was just surprised; he startled like a scared puppy. His head lifted to Sirius, a shocked look in his eye, but Sirius could see the tiredness behind them as well. It wasn’t something that was common in those golden eyes. No matter how hard Remus studied, how late he stayed up, how effortlessly he worked, Remus never showed that he was tired. It was like the moon gave him energy.

“Yes, thank you.” Remus replied with a tight lipped smile. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“Are you sure? You still don’t look too good. Maybe Professor McGonagall should come instead.” Sirius wanted to cover his own mouth. Why would he sabotage his chance like this?

“No, no, that’s alright. I’m just a bit tired from last night. Professor is busy with Charms Club tonight anyways.”

Sirius felt guilty. If he didn’t have to serve a detention, it wouldn’t matter that McGonagall was busy tonight, Remus wouldn’t have to be here in the first place.

“Must’ve been fighting off one hell of a cold, then.” Sirius tried to joke– maybe he’d get to see Remus truly smile.

“Mm.” The boy simply replied, pulling the chair closer to the desk so he could finally sit. It looked like he was in pain bending down into a sitting position, but his body relaxed more once he was seated. Standing must’ve been hurting him as well.

Sirius wanted to keep talking to him so bad, but he didn’t know what else to say. Prying into Remus’s health was obviously not a good conversation starter, nor did he want to continue sharing intimate details of his own life like last night. He wasn’t even sure if they had much in common. What did Remus like? Books? Class? All Sirius saw him do was study mostly.

Sirius decided to focus on his work, at least for a little while. The classroom was filled with silence as he chanced glances to the front, watching as Remus scribbled words onto parchment and read from the text in front of him. Sirius didn’t want to disturb him, he looked hard at work. His concentrated face was so sexy– a serious, steady gaze that hardened the rest of his face.

Sirius wondered if that’s the face Remus would make in bed, concentrating on pulling him to pieces. His wide shoulders looming over him as his strong hands felt around his entire being. Sirius wanted to know what other faces he would make too. Would he blush? Would he close his eyes? What kind of face would he make as Sirius gazed at him through his own lashes with his lips wrapped around his di-

“Sirius. Sirius!” Remus’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts, that seemed to happen quite often lately– ever the dreamer.

“Huh?”

“You were staring. Did you need help with something?”

“Uh, no.”

“Ok, then get back to work please.” Remus put his head back down, focusing on his own work again.

“Actually, do you think you could check this out?” Sirius just didn’t want to go back to the silence.

Remus rose out of his chair, using the desk more than a young man should, but he was more steady on his legs than before. His long strides had him at Sirius’s table in no time, but he didn’t stop in front. Instead, Remus was suddenly behind Sirius, looming over his back, close enough that Sirius could feel his body heat. Maybe he still was sick– the warmth he gave off was overwhelming. He had one hand on the table so he could lean in closer, the small handwriting on the page possibly hard to see from that distance. Wouldn’t it just be easier to pick the parchment up? Sirius didn’t care, though. He reveled in the feeling of being almost under Remus.

He almost gasped when Remus pressed in even closer, his chest ghosting over Sirius’s back. He almost felt as though Remus was attempting to lay him chest-down across the table, a thought that made him incredibly excited. Maybe if Sirius kept leaning forward, they’d eventually end up in that position. A position so easy for Remus to slip inside and have his way with him. Sirius closed his eyes, imagining Remus yanking on his hair as he pounded into him, his sweaty hands leaving prints behind on the table where he clung. He’d moan so loud that it would echo in the empty classroom as Remus would sink his teeth into his shoulder.

Sirius’s own labored breathing brought him back to earth, noticing Remus had backed away a little– disappointment settling in next to his want.

“Are you ok? You sound like you’re panting? That nervous for me to read your work?” Remus teased a bit, the concern still evident in his voice.

“Maybe I caught whatever you had.” Sirius joked back, hoping that Remus didn’t catch the breathy shake.

Remus pulled back completely, his face hardening. “Impossible.”

Sirius was taken aback by the steely reply, scrambling to find something to change topic so that Remus wouldn’t go away.

“Uh, well how did my answers look?” That seemed to do the trick as Remus’s focused face returned.

“Good. Number 5 and 7 could be a bit more detailed, but everything is correct. I’m surprised you’re not worried the professors think you’re cheating though. The handwriting looks copy and pasted right out of a textbook.” Remus finally let a genuine smile grace his lips.

“Yeah, they already know that’s mine. My parents would've never let me get away with anything less.” Sirius wasn’t sure whether to be self-conscious or proud.

“Well, it’s really pretty.” As Remus turned to head back to his desk, Sirius ducked his head down, a steady blush rising on his cheeks. He had to resist the urge to nervously tuck his hair behind his ear as he knew they would be bright red as well.

***

Remus’s return to his dorm was painful to say the least. This full moon was a rough one, and he had a feeling he knew why. Being so close to Sirius the night before was tortuous, the wolf inside him could tell how bad he wanted the other boy; it wanted to hunt him down. Although he never remembers anything once he transforms, he wouldn’t have been surprised if his wolf was sniffing the air, trying to find him. If only it was that easy.

He couldn’t help himself tonight at the detention, he felt bold after the moon, like he had an extra boost of mischievous confidence. The feeling of Sirius’s back so close to his chest brought dirty and vile thoughts to the forefront of his mind; it had taken everything in him to actually read his work. Gods, and when the boy started panting, his nervous breaths were like music to his ears. It was honestly very cute that Sirius was so anxious about Remus correcting his answers.

Once Remus had gotten ready for bed and climbed into his sheets, he waited for any noises coming from his roommates. James only let out steady breaths while Peter would emit a light snore every couple of minutes. He knew the coast was clear; Remus had to do something about these impure thoughts.

He closed the curtains around him, casting a silencing spell just for an added layer of protection and laid back, closing his eyes. All that came to mind when he relaxed was Sirius; Sirius on the ground after the fight, Sirius sitting pleasantly as Remus loomed over him, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius. Remus couldn’t help but think of his hair, too. His long curls, the perfect length for Remus to wrap his entire hand in. Lestrange didn’t deserve to touch any hair on the boy’s head let alone grip it in his ugly fist like he had during the scuffle. Remus knew beauty like that required a certain touch, gentle yet firm; loving but relentless.

Remus couldn’t hold back anymore. He quickly shot his hand down the waistband of his sleep pants, fingers connecting with the hard bulge in his underwear. He applied more pressure as he thought about Sirius in the classroom again. All Remus wanted to do that night was bend the boy right over the table. It was the perfect height for Sirius to fold right in half, his upper body splayed across his forgotten parchment and books. He would lay a single hand on his back, pinning him down, only letting him to get up when Remus allowed. He wanted to be able to feel his labored breaths through his spine, anxiously waiting for Remus to touch him. He could just imagine the whine that the raven haired boy would let out at the feel of Remus pressing his hard, clothed cock to his ass. He’d roll his hips repeatedly into Sirius, reveling in the little noises he was sure to make.

“Feel how hard I am for you baby?” Remus would say. He’s sure all Sirius would be able to do is nod, letting out a shaky exhale.

The images were so vivid in his mind, Remus was already soaking through the fabric of his boxers. He brought his hand to his mouth, spit into it, and returned it to his underwear, this time sneaking his hand under every layer. The connection of his wet hand to his wet dick made his hips buck up. He wondered how wet his fingers would have to be to open Sirius up for him; how many fingers would he need?

The thought blossomed as soon as it entered his brain. The image of two of his long fingers already inside Sirius’s hole had him moaning out loud. He’s sure he’d have to hold the other boys hips in place to keep him from fucking himself back.

“You’re just so eager baby aren’t you?”

“Mmm, yes.”

Once he’d have Sirius open enough for him, he’d line his dick up perfectly with his beautiful hole, pushing in slowly. It would take the boy some time to adjust to Remus’s sheer size, but he knew they’d be a perfect fit.

“Ah! Ah!” Sirius’s moans in his fantasy sounded like the most perfectly composed symphony. “Remus, please.” He didn’t know if he’d be able to resist his pleas.

Remus continued to stroke and palm his cock; he knew that as good as it felt, Sirius wrapped tightly around him would feel even better. He picked up the pace of his hand, as his fantasy self started to thrust harder. He could just imagine reaching out towards those beautiful raven locks and grabbing a fistful. He knew Sirius would gasp, maybe even whine a bit at the feeling. Remus’s big hand gripped tightly in his curls, the dark contrasting to his tanned, scarred skin. But Remus didn’t have time to be insecure about his wounds, all he wanted to do was keep thinking about his fantasy.

He’d pull Sirius up by his hair, his other hand guiding his torso to rise as he continued to pound into him. Naturally, his mouth would find the other boy’s neck, leaving deep red marks; he wanted everyone to know that Sirius was his. His.

“You’re mine.”

“Ah! I’m yours!” Gods, he wanted to hear that in real life so badly.

The marks on Sirius’s neck would continue to travel down to his shoulder, and he knew his wolf would never be able to control itself so quickly after the full moon. He was sure he’d end up sinking his teeth into the soft tissue; he’d have to restrain himself immensely if he didn’t want to draw blood.

Remus imagined that him staking his claim over the boy in such a way would be all they’d both need. As soon as he did in his fantasy, Remus came into his hand, cum covering it, warm and sticky. The last thought from his imagination was Sirius’s spent and fucked out face, a blissful expression and pink blush covering his face, laying on the table to catch his breath.

The tall boy cleaned himself up with a simple spell pushing away the guilt and shame of imagining his classmate in such an inappropriate position. Remus wasn’t sure how he was supposed to face Sirius tomorrow, but hopefully the boy would bring lots of homework that needed to be checked.

Chapter Text

The next day passed by agonizingly slow for both boys. Remus never would’ve thought he would look forward to detention but here he was, rushing through dinner in order to get to McGonagall’s room.

“Geez, Moony, slow down or you’re gonna choke!” James chided him with a look of disbelief on his face. It was unlike Remus to be anything but put together; even when returning from a night at the Shrieking Shack, he made sure he only looked tired, never ill, never hurt, never distraught even if he felt it. His worry of his secret escaping the close circle of a few professors plus James and Peter kept him from showing any flaws. If he was perfect, no one would know.

At James’s words, Remus slowed down his eating— only if just a bit. He took a few more bites, careful of his speed, before rising off the bench and announcing he had detention duty again.

“Man, that stupid Sirius Black is ruining all our prank plotting! How are we supposed to scheme without the brains of the operation?” James complained.

“Maybe you’ll have to think for yourself for once.” Remus teased with a wise smile, before making his exit.

“Never, Moony!” Peter called out across the hall, quite a few heads turning at the loud exclamation. Remus just chuckled to himself, hurrying out of the doors in the direction of the Transfigurations classroom.

***

As usual, when Sirius entered the room, Remus was already there laying a couple textbooks out. Of course, he already knew that as he had watched Remus practically run out of the Great Hall, his friends making a disturbance as he left. Observing Remus was Sirius’s favorite part of his day, second now to detention, but soon the fleeting glances would be all he had left. He knew he had to kick things up a notch if he wanted to make any of it worthwhile.

“Hello, Mr. Black.” Remus said formally as Sirius entered and dropped his bag at the usual table.

“Hello, Moony.” The flirtatious smirk in Sirius’s voice was evident, but it didn’t stop Remus from developing a cold, deep pit in his stomach. He knew, he knew and he was going to tell the whole school. His parents had influence, a fact that Remus knew well. He was going to get him thrown out. He had to play dumb, it was the only way.

“What?” It was all Remus could stupidly get out of his mouth. The nerves were getting the best of him.

“I heard your friends calling after you at dinner. Cute little nickname.” Sirius was turning on his charm to 100. Even though all he wanted was for Remus to fuck him stupid, his biggest pull with boys was to make them feel like his play-thing. Everyone wants to be wanted, and he knew Remus was a good boy who likes to please.

“Oh.” Remus’s entire body relaxed. “Yeah, it’s just a silly nickname.” He did his best to laugh it off.

“Well, I think it’s just adorable. You’ll let me call you that, won’t you?” Sirius gave his best puppy-dog eyes, batting his thick lashes and hoping that it worked.

Now that Remus knew he didn’t need to be worried about Sirius knowing, he finally noticed what Sirius was doing. He was flirting. Remus was not prepared for the other boy to be flirting with him.

“Uh, I don’t know if that’s really appropriate given the circumstance that is me watching over your detentions.”

“What will you do if I don’t listen? Punish me?” Sirius had reached Remus’s table to this point, resting his pale hands on it so that he could lean into his space.

“Um-” The thoughts racing through Remus’s brain were vile. The image of Sirius’s hands tied behind his back, his own large hand spanking the boy’s gorgeous ass until it burned red— a punishment for sure.

He could feel the blood rushing from his head, threatening to travel south, but he had to stop it; he’d embarrass himself immensely if he got hard right now.

“Maybe you should sit down and start your homework.” Remus tried his best to sound firm and confident, an aroused tremble scratching at the back of his throat.

“Ok, Professor Moony.” Sirius gave a mock salute, before turning around and returning to his usual table. Remus couldn’t help but watch his hips and ass, sad for the boy to leave his space but enjoying the view.

He wished he could say the next hour passed quietly and smoothly, but Remus was twitching in his chair. His quill was loud as he taped in on the table, similar to the rate at which his leg bounced. He hadn’t written a single thing but his name on the top of his parchment, head too wrapped up in Sirius’s earlier words.

Speaking of, he dared a glance to the Syltherin, shocked to find the boy already looking at him. He first peered through his lashes, dark like the gaze of a vixen. Or a veela. Then, he picked his head up once eye contact was made, resting it in his hand at a slight tilt. His curls were shiny, cascading down and probably tickling his own arm.

They held their eye contact for a bit, Remus’s leg non-stop bouncing, his nerves getting the better of him.

“Pent up?” Sirius raised an elegant brow, the question catching Remus off guard.

“Huh?” The nature of the ask finally hit him. ‘Is he asking about my…?’

“Your leg. Got a lot of pent up energy? I’m sure it can’t be fun sitting in here with me every night.”

“Oh. No, that’s alright. I just got… a lot on my mind.”

“Anything I can help with?”

Yes.

“No.”

“Too bad.”

Sirius went back to his paper, scribbling more lines in his perfect handwriting before Remus got the courage to speak again.

“You ever given a blowjob?”

The tension in the room snapped. Not in a good way, in the worst way possible. Remus’s stupid brain funneled the worst possible sentence out of his stupid mouth. He’s lucky if Sirius didn’t just call him a pervert and walk out of the room, straight to tell McGonagall.

Sirius’s wide, surprised eyes just stared back, before they squinted in scrutiny, a smirk growing across his perfect lips.

“I guess even prefects are just horny teenage boys. That’s what’s been on your mind, Moons?” The new nickname was nice.

“Well, I just- I’ve never- but- uh,” Remus couldn’t help but stutter, he wasn’t sure how to recover from his idiotic question.

“Never gave, or never received?” Sirius was so smooth with his words. No wonder Remus wasn’t the only one who was interested in him. Although solitary in friends, Sirius’s list of admirers was long, his portion of the table in the Great Hall covered in Valentines every year. More than one detention of his had been served for being caught fraternizing in broom cupboards or side halls. Rumors always traveled fast when there were ghosts lurking around the corners.

“B-both.” Remus could fantasize all he wanted, but those dreams didn’t give him the actual experience. Sure, he wasn’t a total virgin; he’d kissed and both given and received hand jobs, but mutual masturbation wasn’t anywhere near a blow job.

“Hm. That’s a surprise. And a shame.” Sirius’s words made Remus’s head spin, silently watching as the pale boy rose to his feet, coyly making his way over to his table. “What a shame that someone as tall and tan and handsome as you can’t get any action. Wonder how all the average or ugly students are fairing.”

His words were mean. Mean to his classmates that couldn’t control their looks, a real Slytherin way of speaking. But the compliments he paid Remus made his head feel empty. He truly couldn’t comprehend that The Sirius Black called him handsome— called a monster like him handsome.

“Maybe someone should do something about that. How about a lesson Professor Moony?”

Sirius had reached the front of the room, pacing all the way around Remus’s table until he was stood in front of the seated boy. His robes crumpled as he sunk to his knees, a sight Remus never would’ve thought he’d be graced with.

The shorter boy leaned further into his bubble, confidently reaching his hands towards Remus’s trousers, his slender fingers popping the button open and unzipping them. He glanced up at Remus through his thick lashes, obviously asking for consent. Remus bit his lip to keep from saying something stupid and ruining the moment, electing to just nod sharply.

Sirius’s hands were cold against his skin as he pushed the waistband of his boxers down— a snake through and through. Remus’s own skin was always warmer than average due to the wolf inside him, so he gladly accepted the touch.

The moment his dick was free from its confines, already hard, he sighed in relief. He watched as Sirius stared, the look in his eyes hungry. It was a lot Remus knew from himself all too well. He sucked in a sharp breath once Sirius licked a long stripe up the underside. His steely grey eyes locked onto Remus’s as he kissed the head and he swore he could burst right there. He closed his eyes for a second, willing the image of Sirius’s face and hair covered in his cum to go away. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself by cumming before anything actually even happened.

Sirius took the opportunity to take his dick into his mouth, the cavern warm and wet. It felt like nothing Remus had ever stuck his dick in before. It was so much better than he’d ever imagined as well. He bobbed his head a few times, dragging his tongue up the underside every time he returned to suck on the head.

Until then, Remus’s hands had been gripping the arms of his chair, unable to move even an inch. The feeling of Sirius’s glorious mouth on his dick was becoming too much, though. He tentatively lifted one hand, placing it on the top of Sirius’s head. The waves were just as soft and silky as he had pictured, the raven color contrasting well with his tanned skin. Even the scars that littered his hands complimented the dark locks, a thought that made him feel ecstatic.

Sirius sighed at the weight on his head, his shoulders dropping as he became somehow more enthusiastic about blowing Remus. He took the hint, threading his fingers through the strands and pushing down, forcing Sirius lower on his length. It pulled a high whine from the back of the pale boy’s throat, one that reverberated through his own cock. Remus moaned, scrunching his fingers so that he had a better grip and began pushing and pulling.

The hands that had been resting on his thighs clenched, nails digging into the fabric of Remus’s pants. Usually he’d be worried that he was doing something the other boy didn’t like, but the high whines and moans that escaped around his dick told him otherwise.

Remus decided to let his horny brain control his body as he leaned his head back, mouth wide open and just enjoyed. He pushed and pulled Sirius’s head back and forth, moaning and groaning into the empty classroom. As the threat of an orgasm began to creep up the base of his spine, he started to roll his hips up, the movement pressing the head of dick into the back of Sirius’s throat each time.

He chanced a look at the boy in front of him and couldn’t help a curse from slipping free.

“Fuck.” He breathed out. Sirius looked beautiful. His eyes were teary and the whole area around his mouth was wet with spit. His hair was turning into a mess, all because of Remus’s hand and his eyes were lidded in ecstasy. One of his hands had slipped down to his crotch where he was bucking into it. His dick wasn’t even out and the thought of him cumming in his pants from Remus fucking his face was the final straw.

“I’m gonna-” He couldn’t even finish before Sirius was shoving his own head down to the base and swallowing, the tightness making Remus moan as he came down the boy’s throat.

Sirius swallowed every drop, his own head hanging as he panted, twitching once more, a small moan escaping him— he came right into his own boxers.

The two boys sat, panting like dogs in the summer heat, neither daring to say anything.

“So,” Sirius spoke first, his voice wrecked. “That’s how you give a blowie.” He wouldn’t make eye contact with Remus, keeping his head down. He couldn’t see if his eyes were closed or just focused on the floor.

Remus, in a bout of post-nut confidence, lifted Sirius’s head by his chin.

“That’s the best lesson I could’ve ever received. Truly a shame it’s the first time I’ve ever gotten one.”

He watched as a blush spread across his pale cheeks, the moles and beauty marks dotting his face like constellations becoming more pronounced.

“Yeah, a shame.”

Remus couldn’t stop himself from wiping his thumb across Sirius’s plush lips, now incredibly pink and spit slicked. Once again the tension was broken as Sirius launched himself into his lap to connect their lips. The taste of Remus’s cum being passed between their tongues was disgustingly hot and Sirius threaded his fingers into the hair at the back of Remus’s head. His own hands found their home on the boy’s hips, making sure he didn’t tumble backwards out of lap.

They feverishly made out, not being able to get enough of each other. More gasps and groans were emitted as their tongues tangled and danced. Remus detached their mouths to start tracing kisses down the expanse of pale neck before him. He found a particularly sweet spot right above the boy’s robes collar and began to suck. Sirius moaned at the feeling of the pressure.

Remus sucked and licked and nipped in cycles, moving from one spot to another before Sirius pulled his head back up for a kiss. Their teeth clashed as they breathed in each other’s air but they didn’t care.

They were glad the room was silent except for themselves as they both heard the knock at the door.

“You boys still in there?” McGongall called out, her keys jingling from the other side.

“Shit.” Sirius whispered harshly. He quickly hopped off Remus, trying his best to smooth down his hair and straighten his robes. Remus turned his chair back forward, hastily but gently shoving his dick back into his pants. He threw open a random text book, pointing to whatever paragraph as he knew Sirius wouldn’t have enough time to return to his seat.

“So, that’s how you hold your wand in order to send the charm in the correct direction.” He said as level as he could, hoping Sirius would catch onto his cover.

“Man! So that’s why I keep charming that guy that sits in front of me!” Remus had to hold his chuckle back as the professor had already entered the room.

“Giving pointers, Mr. Lupin?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He gave a hopefully normal smile to the woman.

“Mr. Black if you don’t get going, you’ll be out after curfew. Don’t forget, tomorrow is your last detention, hopefully you’ve learned your lesson by now.”

“Oh, there’s been many lessons learned, Professor.”

Remus had to cough in order to not choke on his own spit.

He watched as Sirius gathered his things, McGonagall’s words about prefect business going in one ear and out the other. He only snapped back to reality once the boy exited out the door, not without throwing a wink in Remus's direction first.

Chapter Text

Sirius stared at the back of Remus’s head. And his shoulders. And his back. And his waist. And his ass.

He couldn’t believe that he had finally made contact with him. After so long of just watching and dreaming and touching himself alone in his closed curtains, he had finally gotten his hands on that tanned skin. And it was heaven; everything he dreamed of and more. Remus had tasted so sweet and felt so heavy on his tongue. The noises he made were a sweet symphony, and when his hand weaved its way into his hair? He could’ve melted into a puddle right then and there.

Honestly, if he thought about the memory any longer, he might just cum in his pants in the middle of class. He couldn’t wait until tonight: their last detention together. Hopefully, it wasn’t just a one time thing.

***

Remus sat down at the long Gryffindor table for lunch, but he wasn’t focused one bit on the gigantic spread of food. Instead, his eyes darted everywhere for a mess of black curls and pale skin. It took all of a few minutes for him to turn around, spotting Sirius sat with his brother, facing his back.

“Hey, Pete, switch sides with me?” Remus asked, halting the chubby boy mid-bite.

“What? Why?” A few pieces of food flew from Peter’s mouth making the girl sitting beside him scooch a little farther away.

“Cause… the sun’s in my eyes and i-it’s giving me a headache! Ya know, the full moon was only a couple days ago.” He hoped his excuse sounded reasonable.

With a huffing sigh, Peter rose from the table, Remus doing the same in tow. He was lucky to have such good friends.

Once he was seated on the opposite side of the table, Remus locked eyes onto Sirius again. He had the perfect view now, sitting straight across both tables from the boy. He sighed blissfully, resting his head in his hand, not even bothering to put any food on his plate.

“Head feel better then, mate?”

“Huh?”

“That sigh sounded pretty pleased.” James jumped into the conversation.

“Uh, yeah. It’s warm on my back now too.” Remus supplied with a carefree smile.

He figured he should at least seem like he’s trying to eat, so he piled a few miscellaneous foods onto the plate in front of him, but couldn’t bring himself to do anything else except stare ahead.

Remus watched as Sirius ate, muttering here and there to Regulus, but presumably lost in thought. It wasn’t long until he looked up, grey and brown eyes locking, Remus’s breath catching in his throat.

Sirius let a shy smile grace his features, the pink of his lips so captivating, reminding Remus of the perfect view he had of them last night wrapped around his cock, and what they felt like against his own. He smiled back, big and toothy because he just couldn’t help himself. A pink tinge graced the pale skin across Sirius’s cheek bones before he tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, bowing his head a bit shyly.

Remus couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how it felt to have his hands in that hair, how it felt to use it to control Sirius’s mouth on him. The thoughts made his ears burn a bit and he licked his lips as a fire seemed to stoke in the bottom of his belly. He watched as the shy look slid off of Sirius’s face, one of easily recognized hunger replacing it. He was almost sure that the pale boy was staring directly at his lips now.

“Thinking… about… last… night…” Remus did his best to mouth the words slowly so that Sirius could understand. He saw a look of confusion before it quickly morphed into a knowing smirk.

“Me too.” He mouthed back, following with a wink.

“So hot.”

“Wanna… do… it… again…” Remus wasn’t sure if it was a statement or a question, but he replied with a “Yes, please.”

Remus could feel the air around him getting warm, watching as Sirius shuffled in his seat, obviously feeling it too. Their eye contact was suddenly broken, however, as the Slytherin’s attention was caught by his brother, who muttered something lowly in his ear. Sirius’s eyes got wide, and he gave a smack to Regulus’s arm in obvious embarrassment. He threw one last glance to Remus before focusing his gaze on the table unmoving. They’d obviously been caught. The tanned boy couldn’t help but chuckle to himself a little bit, finally starting to eat what he’d piled on his plate.

***

Remus impatiently sat through each class, hardly able to focus as he daydreamt about what his last detention with Sirius was going to be like. He rushed through dinner again, speeding down the corridors to McGongall’s classroom. For once, he wasn’t there first.

As he creaked open the door, Sirius was already sitting at his usual table, Professor McGonnagall giving him one final lecture about not fist fighting with other students anymore.

“And I hope you’ve been able to make up with Mr. Lestrange as you two are indeed dorm mates.” She was wagging her finger in a humorously stereotypical way for a teacher.

“Yes, ma’am.” Sirius replied plainly, obviously just wanting to get the talking-to over with.

“Ah, Mr. Lupin! Perfect timing! Since it’s a Friday night, your services won’t be needed. I thought maybe you would enjoy a night off with your friends.” She smiled kindly, but Remus’s shoulders couldn’t help but sag.

“That’s not necessary, Professor! I can- I can do it!” He cringed at how desperate he sounded, but he honestly didn’t care enough to stop himself.

“Oh stop being so modest, Remus. It’s a Professor’s duty to oversee detentions, anyways. Thank you for all your help, you’re dismissed.” With a wave of McGonagall's hand, the conversation was finished.

Remus let out a strangled breath, sending a longing look in Sirius’s direction. The other boy had been silent the entire conversation, a neutral look on his face. He tried his best to find any sign of disappointment in the grey eyes, but suddenly he realized he couldn’t. Did Sirius not care? Did he misunderstand in the Great Hall? Was it just a one off fling?

A flush of embarrassment overtook Remus’s body, he felt white-hot and had the itch to run as far away as he could possibly manage. He swallowed sharply and turned on his heel, not sparing Sirius another glance before bursting out of the classroom door.

He walked as quickly as he could down the corridor, the sound of the heavy rain outside drowning out his heavy breaths. He gave the fat lady no time to struggle through a joke before blurting out the password forcefully. All he wanted was to lay in bed and curl up under his blankets forever.

“Hey, Remus! No more detention duty?” Peter was sat on the floor playing Wizard Chess, James seated across the small side table thinking very hard about his next move.

Remus was glad that his roommates seemed preoccupied so he could have some alone time.

“Yeah,” He mumbled, continuing his fast pace through the common room.

“Hey! We’re going to a party in the Hufflepuff dorms tonight!” James called after him as he started his ascent up the stairs.

All he could manage was a strangled “no thanks” before he slammed the door to their room closed. He lets his bag and robes drop to the floor in a messy pile before flopping onto his bed. He pulled his curtains closed and his blanket up over his head, ready to spend the rest of his night in solitude.

He felt stupid, like an idiot, just plain dumb. How could he possibly believe that The Sirius Black would actually want him? That he wasn’t just a way to pass the time?

Sirius was gorgeous and cool and smart. Remus was a monster. Sure he was smart and kind, but who was he kidding? Sirius was a Slytherin, why would he want a goody-two-shoes? He was a pure-blood, why would he want some half-breed?

Remus curled into himself farther, squeezing his blanket until his knuckles were white.

Don’t be a baby, this is nothing to cry over. He thought.

He could deal with the quiet longing from afar— it was the embarrassing humiliation that was causing his heart to ache. He wasn’t sure how long he was laying there just listening to the storm outside rage on. The loud splatter of raindrops against the window panes and the roaring cracks of thunder kept any noise from the common room out of his reach.

The storm was so loud he barely heard the soft knock on the dorm door. He figured it was James or Peter wanting to get in so they could change before the party. Or maybe the party was over? He had no idea what time it was.

Remus continued to lay there, hoping whichever boy it was would just assume he was asleep and do what they wanted. However, the creak of the door never sounded, instead there was another small knock.

He groaned, pulling the warm blanket off of him. Maybe it’s an underclassman with an emergency— he was a prefect after all. Once he had shuffled fully over to the door, he took one last deep breath before wrenching it open.

Remus’s heart stopped at the sight in front of him: Sirius stood on the top step to his room, ready to lightly knock once again. His surprised look was mirrored on the shorter boy’s face, both just standing in silence, the only sound coming from the storm.

“Oh, good. I thought you might be at that party and I didn’t want to have to find you in that crowd.” Sirius’s shoulders relaxed, a small smirk gracing his face.

“Why are you here?” Remus wracked his brain, trying to find a reason. To make fun of him? To make sure he got the hint that they’re nothing?

“Well we didn’t get to spend detention together so I figured I’d come by. I mean,” He paused, looking bashfully at the floor. “I've been thinking about yesterday since breakfast. Detention with McGonagall was torture! She lectured me the entire time!” He perked back up by the end of his speech, exasperatedly throwing his hands in the air.

“You didn’t seem to care when I left.”

“What? Of course I did! I just didn’t wanna look too desperate, ya know? That’s not very sexy is it?”

Remus let out a long sigh, raking a hand down his face. He turned back to the empty room before taking a seat on his bed. Sirius followed closely behind, standing in front of him.

“You thought I didn’t care?” He questioned, one eyebrow elegantly raised.

“Yeah, I guess. You just looked so…” He struggled to find the words. “Like you had no opinion. You wouldn’t even meet my eyes.”

“If I had looked at you I would’ve been on my knees begging you to stay.” Sirius quietly confessed, bringing his hands up to loop around his neck, stepping between his spread knees.

“That would’ve been a pretty sight.” Remus couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of his mouth, all the upset finally gone from his being.

“Want me to show it to you?”

“Hm, but I’ve already seen it, remember? How about something new?” Remus pushed on the back of Sirius’s thighs, causing him to straddle across his lap.

“I want you to see it all.” Sirius whispered into his ear. A shudder rocked Remus’s spine as he began to lay kisses down the side of his neck. Remus was doing his best to hold himself together, but the wet warmth of Sirius’s lips and tongue on his skin were maddening. He let his hands slide underneath the pale boy’s shirt, his hands spreading against the expanse of flesh there. He felt so smooth and soft under his touch.

Sirius lifted his head from the crook of his neck to join their lips. Their kisses were hungry and hot, gasps and pants escaping into each other’s mouths. Remus made quick work of slipping his tongue into the mix, coaxing Sirius’s own to play with his.

The warm wetness had Remus stirring in his pants, unable to stop his hips from bucking up, a motion that caused their hardness to press together. Sirius moaned into his mouth, loud and unabashed. He snapped.

Grabbing the other boy around the waist, Remus flung them so that they laid on the bed, Sirius underneath him. He took a moment just to drink in the sight. Like so many wet dreams before, Sirius Black was splayed out on his sheet looking debauched and incredibly hot. His long hair was tangled over the pillows, looking like spilt ink across a fresh page. The group of cut strands peeked out from behind his slender and biteable neck, making Remus heated in a different way. He tampered the feeling down; no matter how much he wanted to have his turn beating Lestrange senseless, there was no need to lose his prefect status over a situation the other boy so clearly could handle on his own. His pale skin contrasted to the dark locks and Remus’s crimson Gryffindor sheets beautifully, causing him to stand out like a bright star in the night sky. His lips were red themselves and wet from all the hungry kisses. Remus wondered what his own looked like. His clothes were rumpled and messy from the ceaseless touching and on account of being thrown onto the bed so quickly.

Remus was sure his own hair and robes and face were just as messy, but honestly the only thing he could focus on regarding his own body was the thrumming of his insides to touch, to kiss, to pleasure. His entire being wanted Sirius and he wasn’t sure how long he could hold out.

Sirius’s heavily lidded eyes stared up at him seductively, his long arms winding their way around his broad shoulders to pull him into more kisses. Remus’s body went a bit lax at the connection, dropping his hips until they met the other boy’s. They both moaned at the feeling again. Sirius’s hips tilted upwards, grinding hard into Remus, encouraging him to reciprocate, almost pinning the boy’s hips to the bed.

Remus cursed the ancient nature of their school as the old bed creaked loudly at their movements, but Sirius didn’t seem to care at all, too busy lifting Remus’s shirt up to expose his back. The cool air provided some relief to how unbearably hot his skin felt.

“Remus,” Sirius sighed into their kiss. His hands wandered down and around until he heard the familiar clinking of his belt being undone. It was quickly removed before Sirius was unbuttoning and unzipping his trousers. His hand splayed against Remus’s dick, pushing up into the hardness.

“Fuck, you’re so hard,” He groaned.

“Yeah, ‘cause of you.”

Remus let his kisses trail down the side of Sirius’s neck, his tongue sneaking out to lick the salty sweat dripping there. As he reached the junction of neck and shoulder, his mind became blank, the sound of rushing blood peaking the interest of the wolf inside him.

He could hear it. He could smell it.

He panted as he stared, watching Sirius’s own chest rapidly rise and fall in his peripheral. He tried his best not to let the beast take over his mind, attempting to pull himself back to humanity, but it was no use once Sirius bared his neck, tilting his head just slightly, slowly, tantalizingly. Remus was sure his pupils were blown, dark black with only the smallest ring of yellow around. He couldn’t stop himself. It was too late.

He slowly bent down, teeth bared as he approached before biting down on the soft skin. Sirius made a noise, a mix of pain and pleasure, it made Remus’s skin jump. The boy let out another soft sigh as the pressure increased before a small moan of displeasure escaped him. Remus could feel him become tense underneath, as he continued to sink his teeth in harder.

“Rem-” He pushed slightly at his shoulders but it made no difference. “Hurts. That’s enough. Hey.” He was trying not to ruin the mood, but Remus’s mouth wouldn’t let up. He pushed harder as his teeth gave another sharp increase of pressure.

“Ah! Ow!” He shouted. Remus could taste the blood on his tongue. It was so sweet. Sweeter than any animal he had bit on a run through the forest. Sweeter than any chocolate he had consumed throughout his days.

“Remus!” Sirius pushed at his face, not caring about the sultry mood anymore, only caring about the pain blossoming at his neck.

Remus snapped out of it, his thoughts returning as his head was pushed away. He sat up, staring at the other boy who was wide eyed and panting. The looks of confusion and hurt were evident as they locked gazes before Remus’s view slid down to the bloody mess that was the side of his neck. His own hand trembled as it reached up to wipe at his mouth. He looked at his fingers, at the deep red that glistened on them. Someone else’s blood. Sirius’s blood.

“What the fuck!?” Sirius (rightfully, Remus would admit) exclaimed. “I get being into kinky shit, but it’s supposed to be pleasurable for both parties!” His hand came up to feel at the wound, wincing at the contact. When he pulled away, his face blanched at the sight of the blood.

“Oh my god.” Remus couldn’t stop staring at his shaking hand, the blood dripping and drying slowly.

“Remus?” Sirius snapped, obviously upset at the lack of response.

Remus’s head snapped up at his name like a dog. He could see how unbelievably pissed Sirius was and it only made his stomach turn. It was safe to say both boys were back to being soft in their pants.

“I-I-” Remus stuttered. “I’m so sorry. It just- it took over and I couldn’t think anymore.” He explained in a single breath.

“What? Your dick took over? So not cool man! Look at my fucking neck!”

“No, no! It. ” He bowed his head, frustration overtaking him. His fists clenched and his eyes squeezed closed tightly as he tried his best to control himself.

“Huh?” Sirius’s incredulous confusion was clear in his voice.

“I-I-” He stuttered once more. He wanted to explain so badly. Maybe Sirius wouldn’t care like James and Peter didn’t mind. Maybe he would still sleep with him. Maybe he’d still fall in love with him. Maybe he wouldn’t think he was a freak and a monster.

But that was just wishful thinking. His friends were the exception, not the rule. He was only allowed to luck out once and he’d take two tolerating roommates over a hopeless crush. Said crush was a pure-blood with a legacy family. The heir to an estate that has only ever housed witches and wizards, no half-breed freaks roaming its halls. A boy that belonged to the most cut throat house in the school, one that only allowed the most perfect of wizards into its midsts. Perfect like Sirius. Sirius who was now marred by a bloody bite of an animal.

“I’m sorry. Maybe you should go.” Remus couldn’t meet his eyes, his head hanging low in shame.

“What?” It was almost a whisper, but Remus could hear the disgust.

“You need to leave.” He said more firmly. He was sure now that he’d never be able to control himself enough. Not around anyone, especially Sirius.

The other boy huffed, getting off the bed. He was all the way to the door before he paused and Remus could feel his piercing grey eyes on his back.

“I would stay if you just explain-”

“I can’t!” Remus shouted, immediately cutting off the lifeline that Sirius was so obviously throwing out.

The silence that filled the room was sweltering until the door quietly clicked closed and Remus was left with nothing but his shame and the sound of a thunderstorm.

Chapter Text

The next few days felt solitary. After a long shower and a fitful night of sleep, Remus tried his best to return to form. He could happily pretend that nothing had ever happened between him and Sirius. They never kissed, they never touched, they never even spoke.

He could tell his friends knew something was wrong, but they didn’t pry and for that he was grateful. They ate their meals, laughed and joked around, they went to class and studied in the library, all like normal. But it wasn’t normal. Remus couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened that night. The sight of Sirius, confused and distraught, bloody and wounded. It woke him every night like a nightmare. The days weren’t any more peaceful either, though.

The morning after, Remus caught sight of Sirius as he entered the dining hall, paler than usual with heavy bags under his eyes as if he didn’t sleep at all, bandages wrapped around the bottom of his neck to hide the wound. They made his neck look slim and small. He was flanked by his brother, deep concern written on his face. Remus could see him speaking quickly, no doubt asking a million questions in French so no one could overhear, but Sirius just ignored him. He sat down at the long table, making no moves to reach for any food. Remus himself had piled a mound on his plate in an attempt to appear normal, but it was all left untouched.

In their shared class, Remus watched from behind as Sirius flitted hair off his shoulder in order to rub a hand over the bandages absentmindedly. He was sure it hurt, probably itched, not unlike the self inflicted scars that Remus had littered all over his own body.

He spent his break between classes out in the grass, soaking up what sun was peaking through the clouds. He stared out at the lake, his mind filled with images of red against pale skin, grey eyes reflecting with betrayal.

How could he have let it come to this? How could have let this happen? For once, he let his walls down, and he was paying a grave price.

After a few days, Sirius’s bandages came off, leaving behind red, angry indents. Indents of his own teeth. He felt the shame wash over him like a cold shower. Thankfully, they didn’t look like they would scar.

Remus couldn’t help but still stare at the boy. He knew he had no right; he’d lost that privilege as soon as he had latched onto his neck and wouldn’t let go. But he couldn’t help himself. Even with the red marks on his neck, Sirius was still the most beautiful being Remus had ever seen. He would never forgive himself for disrupting that beauty, even if the marks were temporary. However, the wolf inside of him preened. It was happy to see its marks on such a perfect prey. It made Remus feel disgusting.

Sirius didn’t look his way at first, constantly keeping his head down to not make eye contact with any one it seemed. Then, slowly but surely, Remus started to feel eyes on him— a familiar set of eyes.

He didn’t dare to meet their gaze, only looking when he knew it was safe. There had been a couple of close calls, but so far Remus was safe. Safe from facing the hurt and the disgust that he was sure to linger on Sirius’s face.

Remus had been waiting for the rumors to start. That he was a freak, a weirdo that went savage during intimacy. But the whispers never came, no odd stares from uninvolved parties.

Right, that would mean Sirius had to admit to hooking up with a monster like him.

***

The continuing weeks stayed the same: Remus acted normal around his friends, sulked in bed at night, and did his best to avoid Sirius. Before he had even realized, a month had passed. No longer was he “acting” normal, things were just normal again. He wasn’t left awake every night thinking everything over, the images from that night would never leave his brain, but at least they didn’t just linger there in the forefront. He wasn’t trying to avoid Sirius anymore, either; their lives had just stopped crossing paths. Remus wasn’t sure if he was happy about that or not.

As the moon grew fuller, his usual aches and pains reared their ugly heads; the stiff joints and the headaches became more frequent in the days leading up. Remus’s apprehension grew as well. After everything that happened, he wasn’t sure what the wolf would be like this time around. He had no choice, though; he would always have to face it, whether he liked it or not.

It was a cloudy night this month, James and Peter wishing him well as he fled the dorm, his cloak pulled tightly around himself. He no longer needed Madam Pomfrey to walk him to the shack as he did the first couple years, so he now headed straight outside. As usual, the Whomping Willow was angry to see anyone come near it, but Remus easily avoided its thrashing, placing his hand against the correct root until it stilled.

Before he descended down the tunnel, though, he paused. It wasn’t the first time, but he had the odd feeling like he was being watched. Of course he was paranoid about being followed; if his secret were to get out, he would most likely be expelled and the ministry would take him away; there was only so much vouching Dumbledore could do for him. He was always cautious about his coming and going, but tonight felt particularly eerie.

He did a sweep of the yard with his eyes, the full moon providing him with acute sight and hearing luckily, but still nothing seemed amiss. He chalked it up to his regular paranoia before entering the tunnel, knowing the angry tree would take care of any threat that could linger anyways.

The Shrieking Shack was as dismal as always: broken furniture, dusty finishings, and creaky floorboards all combining to be the most gray place Remus could imagine. He did his usual routine of clearing anything particularly sharp or dangerous out of the room before settling on the large bed. It groaned under his weight as always. He sat, trying to enjoy what few moments of being human he had for the night. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on the random noises around him: the wind rustling the trees of the forest outside the windows, the groaning of the old structure he sat in, the crack of a step as someone walked up it.

Wait.

Remus’s eyes snapped open and he rose from the bed quickly. Neither Peter nor James were stupid enough to come looking for Remus while he was here, and he knew Madam Pomfrey wasn’t that careless either to come so soon to the moon’s peak. The townspeople were far too scared to enter the shack, so that only left one option. He was followed.

He couldn’t decide if he wanted to hide or to seek out whoever was coming, but as the moonlight started to peek through the tattered curtains, he knew he didn’t have time. He had to get whoever was there out before they came in contact with a real werewolf.

Quickly but quietly, Remus crossed the room, opening the door. He almost slammed right into the person on the other side. He had honestly expected to see Severus– the boy had been bothering him for several years at this point about his “illness” but it had been a while since he had last approached Remus to attempt to bust him. To his horror, he saw someone he knew much better: Sirius, his cloak pulled tightly around him and his hair tied messily in a bun. His cheeks were dusted pink, the cold breeze of the night bringing them color.

“Ah!” Remus had obviously scared the boy, probably already a bit jumpy at being in the supposed most haunted place in England. They stared at each other, wide eyed for a few seconds before Remus spoke up.

“You need to go.” His voice was deeper, darker than usual. He could feel the transformation pulling at the pit in his stomach, the wolf zeroing in on where he had last bit the pale neck in front of him. Any marks that had been left were gone, but it still remembered.

“I’m not leaving this time.” Sirius replied, defiantly. “What are you doing here so late? Aren’t you a prefect? Don’t you always follow the rules?”

Sirius’s incessant questioning was getting on Remus’s nerves. He should be the one asking the questions. So he did.

“What are you doing here, Sirius? You should leave, it’s dangerous.” Remus was trying his best to just get the other boy out of there. If he left before anything happened, Remus didn’t have to reveal any details. He could lie, say he liked to come there for fun, to ghost hunt, something stupid like that or whatever.

“I asked you first!”

Remus loved how headstrong Sirius was, but not in a moment like this. The moonlight glowed onto Sirius’s face, painting him beautifully, and Remus felt a jolt of pain wrack through his body. He winced, his entire being tightening as his head throbbed.

“What? What’s wrong?” The worry in Sirius’s voice made Remus feel warm, but it didn’t last as more agony ripped through him and he groaned out involuntarily.

“You need to leave, Sirius, I mean it. Please.” He managed through gritted teeth.

“I’m not leaving you when you’re in pain.”

“I’m begging you, please. For your own sake.”

“My own sake? What are you talking about?”

His body couldn’t take it anymore. Remus stumbled back as his being erupted in burning hot pain. He could feel his skin tightening and his bones and organs shifting. His mind was becoming cloudy. He was running out of time before he wouldn’t be able to think or speak like a person.

“Go! Leave! Get out of here!” He shouted, not being able to care about the hurt look on the other boy’s face. He let out a yell in pain, doubling over. He was starting to feel like his body no longer belonged to him, it barely did on a good day.

“Are you hurt? What’s going on, Moony?” The nickname stung– a reminder of what he was about to become, but Sirius didn’t know that.

Suddenly, two sets of loud, thundering steps echoed up the winding staircase, loud and hurried.

James appeared first, Peter not far behind but definitely more out of breath. They took one look at Remus and knew things were about to get bad.

“Sirius, let’s go!” James shouted. The boys had never spoken two words to each other until that moment and Remus would’ve laughed at that fact if he could.

Remus’s jaw ached as his teeth shifted, making room for all the canines, sharp and deadly. His spine cracked, loud and gross and he couldn’t stop the shame that washed over him as he was sure the other three could hear it too. His vision was starting to blur with tears, but he could still watch as Sirius attempted to run to him, James lunging and catching him around the middle. It was a similar sight to how Remus had to hold him back from the fight just a month ago.

“What are you doing?! Your friend’s in pain! We need to help!” The sound of Sirius’s yells could barely be heard over the crunching and cracking of Remus’s bones.

“No, we need to leave before someone gets killed!” James shouted in return, dragging Sirius back through the doorway.

“Remus!” Another desperate yell.

All he could do in return was growl, low and animalistic. The last thing he saw was Sirius gasp in shock and Peter’s back retreat as he closed the door behind him.

***

The familiar sight of the hospital wing’s ceiling was the warm welcome Remus received as he opened his eyes. He felt incredibly groggy, his head pounding as he blinked blearily against the sunlight filtering through the windows. He groaned, bringing a hand up to rub his throat; it felt incredibly sore. He must’ve done a lot of howling last night, but of course he never remembered anything save for a few bits and pieces at times.

“Here, mate.” James’s voice startled him. He turned his head to see the boy seated next to him, his arm outstretched with a glass of water in hand. Remus let out a breath before gathering all his strength to push himself into a sitting position. He winced as both his forearms trembled under his own weight. He really must’ve done a number on himself.

As he reached for the glass, he saw his arm was covered at the wrist with bandages, the same kind as always, the same kind that had been around Sirius’s neck. He took a long sip of water, the coolness feeling good on his throat. For a moment, he just sat in the silence, unsure if his voice would even work, and surveyed his surroundings. His other arm was also bandaged, though on his bicep instead; it was starting to soak through with blood just slightly so he knew he could expect a new scar there. He couldn’t see any other damages from over his clothes and blankets, but his midsection felt tight as if wrapped, and there was a dull pain radiating from his right ankle; it ached all the way through his knee up to his hip, so he knew he could expect to be on crutches for at least a couple of days.

As always, the hospital wing was empty, rarely were other students laid up overnight like he so often was. The sunlight that was pouring in was bright, obviously marking the middle of the day. Hopefully James was just visiting during his free period and hadn’t actually been propped in that chair all day. Remus took a moment to look over said boy. To any outsider, James appeared just as he did everyday: robes just a bit messy in a careless but not sloppy way, his hair parted in every direction imaginable somehow as it never wanted to cooperate, and glasses sat proudly on the bridge of his slender nose. But Remus knew better. His tie was uneven, a sight Remus had never seen before. James took great pride in his ability to do up his tie perfectly since it was something his dad lovingly taught him. It was obvious to Remus that he hadn’t even attempted to brush his hair. Most notably were the dark, puffy bags under his eyes– he hadn’t slept well. Remus was sure it was his fault, and the guilt sat like a rock in his chest.

“You look like shit.” Remus let out, his stupid mouth striking again.

James, thankfully, let out a laugh.

“You’re one to talk. I haven’t seen you so bandaged in a while.” His tone was kept light, but Remus could hear the underlying concern.

“Yeah, I thought this would be a bad moon.”

“I’m sure Sirius really stressed the wolf out.”

Remus froze. How did James know about him and Sirius? Did the rumors finally start?

“How… how did you know?” He forced out even though his throat has gone dry all over again. He took another sip of water.

“I mean isn’t it obvious?”

Of course it was. Of course Remus’s huge crush that had crashed and burned was obvious to his closest friend.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I’m just glad Pete was watching your journey out to the tree. We barely made it there in time to get him out.” He sighed, running a hand through his wild strands.

Now Remus stared blankly at James.

“What are you talking about?” He questioned. James stared questioningly at him.

“What are you talking about?” The sitting boy asked, eyes narrowed.

“Uh…” Remus supplied unhelpfully. He wasn’t sure how much he wanted, or needed to, reveal to his friend.

“Out with it, Moony.” James said sternly.

“Me and Sirius may have been attempting to hookup one night. And I may or may not have lost my wits and bit him hard enough to draw blood.” He shared meekly. James stared at him in shock.

“You what?! Wait, wait, wait. Is that why you’ve been so sulky for weeks?”

Remus nodded.

“And why Sirius followed you to the shack?”

It was Remus’s turn to be shocked.

“What?” He asked incredulously.

“You don’t remember?”

Remus stared down at his shaking hands, wracking his brain for any memories of Sirius in the shack, but he just drew up blanks.

“No, no. I-I-I don’t remember anything from last night. I barely remember getting to the shack, to be honest.” His breathing was becoming labored and his hands shook like leaves in a strong autumn wind. James reached out and laid his warm hand over his, attempting to calm him down.

“It’s alright, nothing happened. Peter and I were able to get there in time-”

“But what if you didn’t? What if I had hurt him? Or killed him?” Remus cut him off, looking at James in panic. He was already spiraling.

“But you didn’t! It’s ok, Rem, I promise. Just breathe.”

Remus did his best to listen, starting with rushed and shaky breaths, which slowly turned into deeper, more assured ones.

“It’s alright. I don’t think he’s gonna tell. He seemed shocked, definitely, but honestly he mostly looked worried. I wasn’t sure why but now I can guess.” Remus looked at James, confusion evident on his face. “He was worried about you, mate.”