Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

PROLOGUE: LAZY EMPEROR

*****

Ancient China.

MingDynasty, 1521 A.D.

The Chinese Emperor sat in his throne room, playing chess with a young woman named Jing, who was the latest in a line of women that his mother had selected from the surrounding towns and villages in an attempt to get him a wife, who smiled and giggled after he made his move on the board, and made her own move.

He leaned forward and picked up a piece, which he then let drop randomly on the board, earning an eye roll from his mother.

“Oh,” said Jing and chuckled, slightly nervously. “You’re not very focused on the game, Your Highness.”

The Chinese Emperor shook his head with a slight smirk of his own. “Mmm.”

Jing made her move on the board and blocked his piece. “Checkmate.”

The Chinese Emperor glanced briefly at his mother before he flicked several pieces off the board, starting the young woman. “That was dumb,” he said snidely and leaned back in his chair, “I think it’s time for you to go, Mother.”

His mother sighed and went to Jing, moving the chair back so that the young woman could stand up, and escorted her out of the room. She then returned to the throne room, finding her son standing near the window, idly playing with a jeweled key that was dangling from the grip of his sword.

“You’re never going to find a wife this way,” she scolded, fed up with her son rejecting every potential wife-worthy young woman that she’d managed to convince to come to the palace. “A proper woman will always-”

“Do I really need one?” he interrupted his mother, having heard this lecture before. “They’re so…boring.”

His mother fixed him with a stern look. “The Dragon Rebellion are at the gates,” she reminded her son about the rebellion that had been trying to enter the palace for the past year, “ready to take your head. They’re demanding an heir and that requires a queen.”

“Well, if they’re gonna be like that…” the Chinese Emperor snapped and then sighed when he saw the look on his mother’s face. “I’ll think about it.”

His mother sighed and nodded, leaving him to his thoughts. She didn’t understand why her son was so against getting married, and she knew that if he didn’t find a bride soon, then he would be killed and their bloodline would be over.

‘I won’t let my son die,’ she silently vowed, ‘and I will make sure that he gets himself a wife, even if I have to die to do it!’ She then ordered a servant to send out scouts to find new potential wives from beyond the border.

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER ONE: DRAGONS!

*****

An hour ago, the group found themselves needing to have as many gold coins as possible to avoid going into the final death challenge and being killed by the evil bird-man, Garuda. To kill off the evil bird-man and get the next jeweled key, they would also need two blades, and so the group split up.

One group went to Heaven to retrieve the first bade by doing four different trials in order to pleased the God Vishnu, and during this, Garuda captured Bretman, forcing him to hand over half his coins to avoid being killed. They managed to complete the four trials and obtained the first blade, and Colleen found a scroll to read later.

The second group went to Hell, where they made a deal with the Goddess Kali in order to obtain the second blade. They had to solve a blood riddle, only to learn that they wouldn’t get the blade until someone else died, and after DeStorm, Esther, and Jermaine all paid up two coins, DeStorm got a scroll he was to read later at the place of the Fallen.

At the place of the Fallen, the group had to stand on symbols, choose scrolls, and followed the scrolls instructions, leading to coins being exchanged and/or taken from each member of the group, and in the end, Tim and DeStorm ended up in the bottom.

They both went into the final death challenge, searching for four gems to present on a pedestal for Vishnu, all the while avoiding Garuda, and in the end, DeStorm was the winner.

While the evil bird-man was beating Tim to death with his scepter, the Enforcer received the second blade from Kali, and with those blades, he killed Garuda and got the second key. And when he returned to the group in the lounge, he was cocky and decided that Colleen should be the one to put the jeweled key into the vault.

And when Colleen did so, and something unexpected happened that none of them had expected to happen.

*****

Colleen stared at the key for a long moment before she finally took it from DeStorm, and she went to the vault. Inserting the key into the correct slot, she turned it.

Immediately, all the doors swing open, and a parade of people ran into the room. They had red clothes, glowing eyes, and were holding sticks that was attached to a large long red dragon, which was breathing actual fire.

The group stared, stunned by the dragon performance, the stick-twirling abilities of the performers, and it became clear to everyone that these people hadto be from Ancient China.

“Whoa. Ok, ok, Mulan’s here.”

“Whoa.”

“What the hell is going on?”

“Who’s that?”

The performers were running around in a circle, going in and out of the room, and as they did this several times, they were slowly separating the guys from the girls.

Of course the group was distracted, so it wasn’t obvious to them that this was being done on an intentional level, or that this was part of a much deeper plan.

As the dragon performers did another lap, white smoke was billowing out of the dragon’s mouth, making it hard to see, and so no one noticed as shadowy figures snuck out from under the dragon, clamp smelly clothes over the noses and mouths of Joey, Benny, Jermaine, Bretman, Alex, DeStorm, Mortimer, and Jack, and dragged them out of sight.

Soon the performers left and when the smoke cleared-

Gabbie gripped Ro’s shoulders, being the first to realize that the boys were missing. “Where'd Mortimer go?”

“Wait,” said Colleen, realization dawning on her, “all the boys are gone.”

Dawn looked around the lounge, alarmed. “Joey? Benny? Jack? Where’d they go?” ‘I’d let myself get distracted, dang it! Why did I let myself get distracted?!’

“They’re gone,” said Esther, surprised. “They got taken.

“I kinda like this,” Ro commented.

“I agreed,” said Gabbie.

The Duchess smiled. “This is muchbetter.”

“Omigosh, we could start an all-girls band!” Ro squealed.

Dawn stared at them like they’d gone mental. “Seriously?”

“They’re joking, Dawn,” Esther reassured the brunette. “We’ll find them, we just have to see if a clue got left behind.”

Agreeing with the lounge singer, partly to keep the actress from having a panic attack over the missing guys, they all started looking around the lounge for any clues that could’ve been left behind by the performers.

Any clues at all.

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER TWO: WEDDING INVITE

*****

“Here's a note!” Colleen exclaimed, picking up a note that was next to six golden firecrackers that must’ve been left behind by the performers, and she read it as the other girls gathered around. “‘Start the Emperor's wedding festival with a bang’.”

“Is this a Chinese firecracker?” Gabbie wondered, picking up one of the firecrackers and saw that there was one for each of them.

“Yes,” said the Duchess, not thrilled. “I am terrified of these things.”

Dawn made a face, picking up one of the firecrackers. “You’re not the only one, these are going to leave my ears ringing.”

Gabbie noticed that there was a box and she examined it. “Also, we need the combination to this lock,” she remarked, finding that it had a letter-based combination lock on it.

“One, two, three, four, five, six letters,” Ro counted, and held up the firecracker. “Let's just shoot it off somewhere!”

Tana yelped. “Watch what you’re doin’!” And she backed away, not wanting her weave to catch on fire.

“I think you're supposed to crack it in half,” Gabbie guessed.

Ro nodded. “Like on your knee.”

Esther, who’d been examining the firecracker, figured it out. “Or like this.” She twisted the top so it popped loudly, scaring the other girls, and confetti rain out. “Sorry!” she apologized, when both Dawn and Colleen shot her scandalizing looks, and found a half-dozen shiny ‘B’s’ among the confetti. “It’s a letter.”

One by one, each of the girls fired off the firecrackers, well, Ro did crack her firecracker over her knee and it hurt a lot, althoughDawn had needed help since she was scared to do so, and, leaving their ears ringing, found a total of six letters.

Collecting one of each letter (B, I, E, S, D, R), Dawn knelt by the box, where Gabbie was waiting to put in the combination, and organized them to spell out a possible word. “Since this is for a wedding and there’s six of us, I’m guessing that it’s B-R-I-D-E-S.”

The Hollywood Star put the letters into the combination lock, discovering that there wasn’t a total of twenty-six letters on each of the spinners and was glad that she could spell out brides, and got it opened. “Ok, there’s rose petals,” she remarked, finding inside the box a bunch of red rose petals, and underneath them was a note.

“Roses,” Colleen remarked as the petals were tossed out, and leaned back a bit to keep from getting hit “Kinky.”

“Makes sense for a wedding,” Esther remarked.

Gabbie finished tossing the rose petals and picked up the note, reading it. “‘Calling all maidens in the Middle Kingdom! The Emperor is in need of an heir and requires a wife. Report to the palace to be tested on beauty, etiquette, and conversation’.” She giggled and glanced at Tana, who was already chuckling. “Tana, I'm so sorry, sweetie. ‘The one who passes will be wed. Ignore this invitation and face the consequences’.”

“One of us, a bride?” Esther asked skeptically.

“Ew, sexist!" Colleen griped. "This is garbage.”

“Seriously, a wedding?” Dawn asked, not looking convinced.

“So we're, like, suitors?” Ro wondered.

The Sorceress leaned forward between Tana and Dawn, startling the poor brunette. “Isn't it obvious?” she asked with a smirk. “Wed him, kill him, and take the kingdom.”

“Uh, clearly you haven’t spent any time in China,” Dawn said, moving away from the evil woman so that she was on the other side of Colleen. “That’s not how it works there, not even in Ancient China, and I know people from China who would agree with me.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Ro remarked.

Dawn, Tana, and Esther all stared at the Socialite like she’d lost her mind.

“Wait,” said Colleen, turning the invite over to reveal that there was a drawing of a door on it. “There's a drawing of a door on the other side.”

“Have we seen this door?” Gabbie wondered.

“It could probably be upstairs,” Dawn suggested. “We haven’t gone up there yet, and maybe that’s where the guys were taken earlier.”

“It’s worth a look,” Esther agreed, and so they left the lounge to find a staircase that would take them upstairs.

Would they find their missing friends?

Would they find the Emperor?

Or would they find both?

And would one of them have to get married to the Emperor in order to save their missing friends?

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER THREE: SPEAR? WHAT SPEAR?

*****

When the men started regaining consciousness, they all felt like their heads were going to fall off after being drugged, and they had no idea where they were due to there being bags pulled over their heads and they all were chained to heavy boxes.

“Guys?” Alex’s muffled voice called out. “Are you here?”

“Yeah,” said Joey, and he pulled the bag off his head, so he was able to see Alex across from him, along with Jermaine, Mortimer and Jack were on a small landing, and then there was Bretman, Benny, and DeStorm. ‘Ok, this is the strangest kidnapping that’s ever happened to me,’ he thought, and that was saying something.

Alex pulled the bag off his head and he laughed, looking around at the fountain area. “Whoa! What is this?” he wondered as the other guys pulled off their bags so that they all were able to see, and he stood up, but he wasn’t able to go very far because of the chain.

“Well, this isn’t the first time I’ve woken up chained to something,” Jack commented, earning eye rolls from the guys and he grinned, but he didn’t reveal what he meant either.

“Why are we chained up?” Jermaine demanded angrily, scrambling to his feet, and he tried yanking his wrist free, without any luck. “Get this stupid thing off of me!”

“Oh shut up, Whitehouse,” Benny grumbled, also standing up to get a good look around, noting that the India exhibit had been replaced with what he suspect was stuff connected to Ancient China. “Seriously shut up, someone’s coming,” he added, hearing footsteps heading their way, and the ex-blogger did stop gripping…for now.

Sure enough, two Chinese people entered the area: one was a man in dark green attire while the other was a woman in dark blue attire, and both were armed with swords. They were having a conversation in their native tongue, and no one there had any idea of what they were talking about.

“Who’s there?” Joey asked, having troubles seeing the two due to the stuff in front of them.

“Hold on,” said Alex, watching them.

Realizing that their prisoners were awake, the man switched to English. “They're the Emperor's foreign mercenaries," he told the woman. "I know they're after their Dragon Spear."

‘Emperor?’ Joey thought, confused. 'Mercenaries? Dragon Spear? What?’

The woman in blue hardened her expression and agreed. "We need to kill them, or else they'll stop the rebellion!”

None of the captured men liked the sound of that and exchanged uneasy expressions until Mortimer chose to speak up.

“Excuse me," he said, smiling amicably at the Chinese woman. "I can't help but overhear-” and he stopped short when the woman in blue holds her sword against his throat.

"All right." Mortimer sweated a little, not used to swords. "That's a sword to my throat. I was just gonna say, before you start killing us, maybe…we could tell you about the secrets we know. Right, guys?" He nodded pointedly to the other boys. "Secrets!”

Jack nodded. “Oh yeah, we have secrets that could help your rebellion.”

“Yeah!” several of the boys called out eagerly.

“What secrets, exactly?” the man in green demanded, scowling at them all suspiciously.

Bretman, who was sitting on the ground, cocked his head to the right. “We'll let you know if you let us go."

"I still pee my bed,” Alex offered.

“TMI, Alex,” Benny said with a grimace. “TMI.”

The woman in blue scowled at Alex instead, clearly not amused. “That is useless information!”

“How about information concerning that one person here is a cold-blooded killer?” Jermaine offered, not caring if the guys all turned on him. “I can even point him out to you,” he added.

The woman in blue turned to face the ex-blogger. “What do you mean by killer?” she inquired.

“There’s a man here who’s responsible for killing over thirty people for over two years,” Jermaine said eagerly. “Imagine what he could do for your rebellion?”

The woman in blue, however, pressed her sword against his throat. “A true rebel isn’t a murderer,” she snarled and the ex-blogger whimpered.

As much as Joey didn’t like Jermaine, he wasn’t about to let the guy get killed right away. “Oh, the spear!" he exclaimed, thinking quickly. "We know all about the spear.”

The man in green narrowed his eyes and approached the Savant. “What do you know about the spear?"

"It's a spear," Joey stammered, trying to come up with something off the top of his head, "that's long…and it's…powerful…”

Benny face-palmed and shook his head. “Joey…”

The woman in blue stalked over to Joey and aimed her sword at his throat. “Stop wasting our time!"

"Okay," Joey squeaked, his eyes going wide behind his glasses.

"If we have the spear," the guy in green stated, "the people will follow us."

"Well, it looks like you guys are in a bit of a jam," DeStorm snarked.

The man in green scowled at the Enforcer. “Very well." He drew and pointed his sword at DeStorm.

DeStorm's hands went up automatically. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"‘Not cool, boy! Go point that thing somewhere else!’

“You have one hour to bring us the spear and prove to us you truly are rebels," the man in green declared, his sword was inches from DeStorm's chest. "Otherwise, we'll find you, and we'll kill you."

‘Why do we always get stuck in this sh*t?’ Bretman fumed internally. ‘And what about the girls? Where are they? Are they all right without us?’ He hoped so.

Mortimer tried to raise his chained hand. "You gonna let us out of the chains?"

"Yeah, yeah," Alex agreed.

"You're resourceful, right?" the man in green snapped. "Figure it out!"

Joey gulped. "Figure it out?!?"

‘Really?’ Bretman thought, shaking his head. ‘You're not gonna help us, but we're helping you? How does that add up?’ However, the Chinese rebels were gone before he had the chance to complain.

The guys exchanged perplexed looks of what they were suppose to do now. How were they going to free themselves from the chains?

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER FOUR: TEAMWORK TIME

*****

Once the two Chinese rebels were gone, Joey stood up, wondering how they were going to get out of the chains and find the spear before the hour was up. ‘And hopefully, when we find that spear,’ he thought, ‘we can both prove that we’re rebels and reunite with the girls. I hope Donny and the others are ok.’

“Guys, look for a key, or anything that you can reach," he instructed the others, stepping over the chain to avoid tripping over it.

Those still sitting, also got up, and looked around the area, trying to find the keys, or at least something that could get them out of the chains.

"What can you guys reach?" Alex asked, glancing around his general area and he found a bin of small metal balls right next to him. "I got some balls here. Some metal balls." He picked one up, and it felt like a smooth black egg. "I can roll them to you, if they're necessary."

"Right here!" Joey pointed to a tall red-and-gold post that has a set of keys at the top. "There's a key up here!" His expression changed from excitement to exasperation in the blink of an eye. "I cannot reach that at all."

‘That's it,’ Alex thought. ‘That's what the balls are for.’ "I can knock it down," he suggested, holding up the ball.

Joey flinched. "Uh, is that gonna hit me?"

Alex wrinkled his nose. ‘Yeah, that's a good point,’ he thought. ‘I don't wanna accidentally knock anyone down.’ "Oh, uh, okay…" He got a better idea. "I'll roll it to you, I'l give it to you guys, and then you do it."

"Roll it to Jermaine," Joey advised. "Jermaine roll it to Bretman. Bretman, roll it to Benny. Benny, roll it to DeStorm. DeStorm, roll it to me."

"Okay." Alex turned to Jermaine, who clearly wasn’t looking too keen on catching the ball. "Ready?" ‘I hope this works.’

Jermaine shook his head. “No, but let’s just get this over with,” he grumbled, and when Alex tossed the ball to him, he actually managed to catch it, despite it being a heavy metal ball. He then tossed the ball to Bretman, who tossed it to Benny, DeStorm, who tossed it to Joey, who screamed and almost dropped it.

"Heavy!" the Savant whined.

"Keep rolling it!" Bretman yelled as Joey prepared to knock down the post, and he looked over to DeStorm, "Do you really think he's gonna get his first-?"

"He's not gonna get it on the first try," DeStorm scoffed.

Alex shrugged in agreement. "It's Joey.”

“He’ll do it,” Benny said confidently.

Joey rolled the ball underhand and, much to the surprise of DeStorm, Alex, Bretman, and Jermaine, it hit the pole. He cheered as the pole toppled over, and the keys jangled onto the ground.

"Can you reach it?" Alex asked, having never felt prouder of Joey Graceffa than he did at this moment. "You got it! Let's go! Look at you!"

Joey moved as far as he could because of the chain, and he grabbed the keys, pulling both them and the pole over to his box. "And you said I won't get it," he teased DeStorm.

DeStorm laughed. "I believed in you the whole time, Joey, don't worry.”

Joey knew that DeStorm was lying, but he didn’t care since he’d managed to get the keys, and he worked on freeing himself and then he freed DeStorm, Benny, Bretman, Jack, Mortimer, Jermaine, and Alex from the chains.

Bretman looked around at the various stuff that was in the area, and noticed that there was a note next to a large portrait of six men posed in different positions. “Oh, there's a note," says Bretman.

"Okay." Alex rubbed his hands together, a sneaky grin on his flushed face. "Let's do this.”

Joey went to the portrait and picked up the note as the guys gathered around, and he read it. “‘The Dragon Spear was carried by a great general into battle and is the sign of a true leader. The spear can only be found by those who exhibit the characteristics of the great warriors of China. Only one of you can complete each of their challenges. Once all tasks are complete, stand as one in front of the fountain in matching pose. Failing a challenge will result in your name going into the voting pile. Complete the tasks in the following order: breaking the boards, armored pull-ups, archery practice, parkour, eating mooncakes and decoding a message, and Chinese chess’.”

Alex barely reacted to this new set of challenges. "Okay."

"Who's gonna break the boards?" DeStorm asked as they headed to where the first challenge was located.

‘I don’t know if any of us really qualifyas great Chinese warriors,’ Joey thought, ‘especially since none of us are even Chinese, but we’ll work with what we’ve got.’

He didn’t voice it, but he wasworried about the girls, and what they were probably facing without them there.

And he was especially worried for Dawn’s wellbeing since she was stuck with the Sorceress, and he didn’t dare imagine what the woman would most likely do to her.

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER FIVE: MEETING THE EMPEROR

*****

Meanwhile back in the museum, the girls followed the Sorceress up a spiral staircase until they reached the second floor, where they were lead to a pair of brown doors outlined with gold, and the Sorceress pushed the doors opened so that they could enter the room beyond.

*****

Colleen was the first to enter with the five girls right behind her, and they were soon inside a large room that was clearly the throne room of the Chinese Emperor, which was filled with Chinese artifacts.

Lounging on the throne, which was flanked by two small golden lions on either side, was the Chinese Emperor, who had long black hair, a light yellow robe with red trimming, a bored gaze in his dark eyes, and an expression that makes him look like he had dirt underneath his nose. Next to the throne was an older woman, also Chinese, who was wearing a red robe and an elaborate red-and-gold headpiece. Both of them were clearly the type who thought that their status made them better than everyone else.

‘I don’t even know these two yet,’ Colleen thought, ‘but I already hate them.’

The Chinese Emperor was lazily playing with two red balls that were dangling from the grip of his long sword, and he barely glanced at the new arrivals. “Mother," he droned, "more women are here. Can you please talk to them? I'm bored.”

‘Ok, this guy is just plain rude,’ Dawn thought, keeping her expression neutral, but she did have an overwhelming urge to smack the jerk up the side of the head with something, ‘no wonder he isn’t married yet.’

Colleen was having similar thoughts about the Emperor, and it was then that she noticed that tied to the end of the sword was the third jeweled key that they needed. ‘Huh.’ Her smile, which had been fake, shifted to genuine. ‘You know what? As sexist as this whole setup is, it might be how we get ourselves that key.’

The Emperor’s mother gave each of the girls a cursory glance, but unlike her son, she was obviously working to maintain an air of icy courtesy. "There will be three tests for you to show your qualities to the Royal Emperor," she explained. "The woman chosen will become his bride-to-be and receive his protection from the death challenge.”

This got the girls attentions for sure. Out of all of them, so far, Tana and Dawn were the only ones to have gone into a final death challenge so far, and if one of them could get immunity, that would give that particular girl a chance to get the key from the Emperor.

“The first test is of beauty," the Emperor's mother continued. "Select the wardrobe that you think will cater to the Emperor's likes. Then, you will parade in front of him. You may go change.” She gestured to a door, which the girls headed for, and she stopped Dawn. “You, make sure that the thing on your face isn’t there when you come back,” she ordered, pointing to the glasses.

Dawn nervously nodded and hurried after her friends. ‘Yeah, I so don’t want that woman as a mother-in-law,’ she thought, entering the room right before the door shut.

*****

“What did the Emperor’s mother want?” Esther asked, having seen the brunette get stopped.

“She doesn’t want me to wear my glasses,” Dawn answered, and took out the black case from inside her jacket. “Which makes me glad that I brought the special contact lens with me just in case.”

Colleen nodded. “Smart thinking,” she agreed, and was glad since she had a feeling that Dawn being near-sighted would have her at a disadvantage with the tests.

Ro looked around the room, which was filled with a wide array of beautiful Chinese robes and jewelry. "Okay." She inspected the clothes. "We got some outfits."

‘The Emperor's mom said we gotta cater to the Emperor's likes,’ she thought. ‘What would an Emperor want his wife to wear?’

"I think Mom, she's a little delusional," Colleen confided to the other girls, "cause her son clearly does not bat for this team." And they all laughed in agreement.

“Yeah, I don’t think that the Emperor is as straight as his mother expects him to be,” Esther added, and they laughed again.

“All kidding aside,” said Gabbie, getting them back on track, “we gotta figure out which outfits will fit to to the Emperor’s taste, and we definitely got a lot to work with.”

They all nodded in agreement and went to work on examining the array of colored robes, the jewelry, various hairpins, and the shoes that matched up with the robes.

“Ok, so these are the clothes,” said Colleen thoughtfully. “I say we try them on, have a mini fashion show of sorts, and go from there.”

Dawn nodded. “Good idea, ‘cause I’m not really sure of what to choose, or even what would fit at all.”

“And that’s why you have us to help out,” Tana teased, getting the actress to glower at her, and they all laughed again, making the brunette smile.

This was going to be interesting challenge for them to take upon in order to be one step closer to getting the third key.

‘I just hope that the guys are ok,’ Dawn thought as they went to work on choosing the robes that they thought would work best in order to impress the Emperor. ‘And that they can get out of wherever they’d been taken.’

Chapter Text

CHAPTER SIX: THE FIRST CHALLENGE

*****

Meanwhile back outside, the guys went to the first challenge, which was to break a board with their hands, and there was only one board waiting for them, along with a light yellow sash that Bretman was tempted to try on, and a note with the instructions.

“‘A true master of martial arts can easily break a board with their hand in a single strike’,” Alex read. “‘Wear this sash and feel the chi’.”

Joey eyed the board uncertainly. “Honestly," he said, "I feel like this is gonna hurt my hand, so I don't wanna do this one."

"But are you better fit to do this than the other ones?" Alex questioned the Savant with a smirk.

DeStorm pointed to the pull-up station that had a suit of armor hanging next to it. "You gonna do those pull-ups with the armor on?"

Joey narrowed his eyes at DeStorm. "What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, sounding like DeStorm just offered to stab him in the back.

"I'm just asking," DeStorm replied.

Jermaine smirked at the Savant. “Maybe you’re just a coward, Joey.”

“Knock it off,” Benny scolded, glowering at them. “If Joey doesn’t want to do this challenge, then he can do one of the other challenges instead.”

Bretman looked between the boys and then at the board waiting to be broken, and he decided to go for it. “I mean, honestly, this kinda goes with my outfit," he remarked, picking up the sash, "so…yeah." He never broken a board before, but he had broken a b*tch's nose before. So, he's been around, and he was sure that he do this.

Joey smiled. "It was meant to be."

"There you go," Alex said.

So Bretman tied the sash around his head, which did look good with his outfit, and he stood in front of the board.

‘Feel the chi,’ he thought, recalling what the note said. He didn’t know what chi was, but it sounded like something a badass b*tch would feel.

"Come on, Bretman," Joey urged. "You got this."

"Don't punch with your rings on," Alex advised.

“You use the palm of your hand to break a board,” Benny pointed out.

Jermaine scoffed. “Yeah right, you use your fist.”

Benny shook his head. “Nope, it’s the palm of the hand with enough thrust. I grew up watching The Karate Kid movies, so I know what I’m talking about.

"Girl," Bretman assured them, "Bruce Lee is my great uncle." He did a practice punch, stopping just short of the board.

Alex counted off for him. "One…two…"

Before the word "three" can be said, Bretman slammed the palm of his hand into the board as hard as he could, and the two new wooden halves fell to the ground in a shower of splinters. Everyone cheered, Bretman grinned, tossing the dangling sides of his sash over his shoulder, and did his usual Bretman flourish to emphasize his triumph. "Did I stutter?"

"Wow!" gasps Joey. "Come on, strength!"

Bretman twirled in place. He was born to break boards, and he didn't even know it. ‘Hi-ya, b*tch!’ he thought proudly.

Jermaine had to admit that Bretman had skill, and that Benny had been right about using the palm of the hand worked better to break the board.

Joey could tell that Bretman was stepping it up, going from being a tagalong that Nikita had invited, to a boy who was becoming a force to be reckoned with, and while the Savant did wish that the playboy hadn’t been there in the first place, he had proven himself so far.

‘Yeah, Bretman has my respect,’ Joey thought, ‘and if he can make out of here alive with the rest of us, that’ll be even better.’ He then headed for the stairs that would lead to the second challenge and the boys followed.

“Honestly," the Savant declared, "I feel like I need to prove something, because you're all acting like I can't do this.”

“Hey, I’m on your side, Joey,” Benny pointed out. “I think you can do it, I really do.”

“Thanks, Benny.”

Mortimer whispered to Jack. “You think Joey can do this challenge?”

Jack shrugged. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Yeah.”

*****

Reaching the second location, Joey picked up the note and read it. “‘Do ten pull-ups while wearing this Chinese suit of armor’.”

Alex eyed the armor, which also had a helmet, and he grabbed the hanger that it was on. “How heavy is this, guys?" he wondered. "Let's see." He picked up the armor for a minute, and then put it back down. "Oh, yeah."

Joey stepped forward. "Let me feel it." As soon as he tried to lift the armor, he emitted a loud "oh" as its bulk weighed down his arm.

"I might be able to do it," Alex suggested, "but I think it's up to you."

‘Nope,’ Joey thought, determined to prove to the guys that he could do this. ‘Sorry. Not this time. No one is doing those pull-ups but me.' "I wanna show that I am strong, okay?" he insisted.

DeStorm exhaled and walked away. "These boys gon' get us killed."

“No he’s not,” Benny stated. “Joey can do this.”

Jermaine scoffed. “No he can’t.” And winced when Mortimer smacked him up the side of the head. “Hey!”

"You want me to try?" Alex asked again. "Or you got it?"

"Don't tell me what I can't do!" the Savant snapped, pulling off his jacket, which he handed to Benny, who was the only one believing in him so far, and then he let Alex and Bretman help him put the armor on.

Joey was sure that he looked like a badass, but it was also heavy as hell. Beads of perspiration were already sticking to his face. He sighed and rubbed his forehead before getting into position at the bar.

"We gonna die," DeStorm quipped. "You gotta go fast.”

Joey ignored the Enforcer and looked at the bar. ‘Ok, PE wasn’t one of my strong suits in school, but I’m going to do this, I am.’

Joey could do this, right?

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE FIRST TEST

*****

Meanwhile in the changing room of the Ancient China exhibit, the girls were getting ready to do the beauty test and, hopefully impress the Emperor enough to be one step closer to getting the jeweled key from him.

After looking through the clothing options, Ro settled on a light yellow robe with red trimming, because the Emperor was wearing those colors, and she figured that they were probably his favorites. She also had Gabbie help her arrange her brown hair into an intricate bun, since a lot of the best Chinese hairstyles involve buns. Plus, it looks cute, and she was good at cute.

As her hair was styled, Ro got a clever idea. "Put the pin in my hair, and I can just be like…" She drove an invisible hairpin through an invisible Emperor. "Whapishaa! In his…in his eyeball!" The thought of killing a man by stabbing him in the eyeball with a hairpin, a thought that would've horrified her back when she was alive, caused her to gasp with dramatic exaggeration.

"See, now you're talking," Colleen praised as she worked on wrapping a red robe around herself.

Ro put her hand on her heart. "I'm feeling like Kill Bill." She didn't really want to hurt anyone, but if murdering the Emperor will save her friends, she was in.

*****

Once she was ready, Ro was the first to go before the Emperor. "Dance for me," he ordered her, "but don't look me in the eyes when you dance."

"Oh…" Ro was taken aback, but she soon regained her composure. "Okay." She moved her arms in graceful, butterfly-like motions, with the occasional circle here and there. And as she danced, she made sure to keep a welcoming smile blooming on her face, and she also made sure not to look at the Emperor as she did so.

After a couple of minutes, all she got out of the Emperor was "hmm," but she thought she did okay, and she went to stand to the side.

Colleen, wearing a red robe and a golden ornament in her dark hair, came out of the dressing room next, and she went to stand before the Emperor.

“Walk back and forth in front of the Emperor," the Emperor's mother instructed her.

‘Again with the objectification?’ "Sure," Colleen muttered through gritted teeth and a fixed smile. ‘Whatever. Let's just get this over with.’

So she walked in front of the Emperor, her head held high, and her mind was running wild with hateful thoughts about the whole royal family. Fortunately, neither the Emperor nor his mother bothered to say anything, rude or otherwise, about her performance.

‘The Emperor's mom is bossy,’ Colleen thought to herself as she went and stood next to Ro, ‘and she would be a horrible mother-in-law. Hopefully, if I marry and kill him, I can kill her too.’

Dawn, feeling nervous, came out of the dressing room to take her turn. She was wearing a golden robe with white sleeves, and she stood before the Emperor and the mother, keeping her eyes lowered as was per custom that she’d been taught about in school and the few times she traveled to China for filming.

The Emperor’s mother approached the brunette and handed her two fans. “Dance for the Emperor.”

“Of course.” The actress took the fans and, recalling a dance from a Chinese film she’d watched, she did a bit of that dance until the Emperor’s mother asked her to stop and took the fans back. Hoping that she did a good job, she went and stood next to Colleen and Ro.

Esther came out next, wearing a green robe and had her hair up in a bun with a green pin holding it in place, and stood before the Emperor and his mother.

“Sing for me,” the Emperor ordered.

Esther took this in stride, actually knowing a song in the proper language, and so she sang beautifully. After getting a mere nod of approval from the Emperor’s mother, she went and stood next to Dawn.

Tana was next, but she decided to go a different route with her outfit, being Tana Monceau and all. She decided that she was going to hoe it up a bit, and when she came out of the dressing room, she decided to keep her greenish-blue robe opened, showing off her chest. ‘Yeah, that’s right,’ she though smugly.

The Emperor actually focused on Tana, while his mother was looking shocked and disgusted. “Flattering.”

‘The mom doesn't matter,’ Tana thought, ignoring the scandalized woman. ‘I just gotta get the guy interested in me. Good thing I got the body for this!’ She delicately shook her ass at the Emperor.

"Hmm." The Emperor pressed his lips together. "Not very coordinated."

The Emperor's mother raised her eyebrows, visibly scandalized by Tana's antics.

Tana grinned, for she was in her element, and she was surethat she hadthis challenge in the bag. "Have you heard of twerking, my king?" she inquired.

"Excuse me?" the Emperor questioned.

"If we get married," Tana promised, "you can see it." ‘And I think you're gonna like it.’

“Okay, that's enough!" the Emperor’s mother snapped, drawing the line, and scowling at the Pin-up Girl.

‘Babe, I don't care if your mom's right there! I'll flirt with you right now!’ Tana thought, but she had the good sense not to say that out loud. Instead, she tossed her head and took her place in line, all while playing with her blonde hair in the most tantalizing way possible, and her three friends were struggling not to laugh.

It was now Gabbie’s turn, and she came out, wearing a robe that waspale pink with white trimming, and a gold headpiece sat on top of her head, accentuating the yellow and brown colors in her two-toned hair.

The Hollywood Star stopped in front of the Emperor's throne. "What would you like me to do?"

"Flatter me," the Emperor requested.

‘Flatter him,’ Gabbie thought. ‘Fine. I can be flattering. What's a flattering thing to say to the Emperor of China?’ "The way you're fingering those…two balls…is very attractive," she blurted out, and Tana burst into laughter.

This was embarrassing, honestly, but Gabbie didn’t care. She'll do anything to stay alive.

*****

After Gabbie joined her friends in the line, the Emperor’s mother turned to her son to find out who he was going to choose as the winner for the first test. “Emperor?"

The Emperor rose from his throne and perused the line of girls before resting his eyes on Tana. "She has…unusual ears," he declared, and the Pin-up Girl pushed back her hair to reveal her ears. "I think it's her." And he went back to his throne.

"Omigod," Tana giggled. ‘I did it! I won the beauty challenge! I'm one step closer to immunity!’ Apparently, the Emperor really did want to know what twerking was, and the Emperor's mother gave Tana a pendant.

‘I don't wanna, like, do him,’ Tana thought, slipping the pendant into her pocket, ‘but if I win his hand in marriage, at least I'll be safe for a little while longer.’ Her features shined with conflicted hope. ‘There's more than one way to be useful.’

The first test was done.

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER EIGHT: TWO CHALLENGES

*****

Meanwhile outside, Joey had grabbed the bar and began pulling himself up to start the challenge while the guys all counted, and this wasn’t easy due to the heavy armorer, but the Savant was determined to prove that he was strong.

“One. There you go. Two. Okay."

"Don't stop," DeStorm said, becoming impressed.

"Three. Four. Five."

“You got this, Joey,” said Benny with a big grin.

Bretman shouted, "Halfway!" And this added a sprinkle of energy to Joey's tired limbs.

"Six." Alex's eyes were fixed on to the bar. "Come on, come on, come on! Seven! You got it! Eight!"

"Yes!" Bretman screamed, clapping like a baby seal.

"Nine! One more! One more! Get up there! Get up there!"

‘I can do this,’ the Savant thought. ‘I will do this.’ He used the last of his strength to accomplish his tenth and final pull-up. He happily hopped off the bar as the other boys cheer for him. ‘There we go!’ His face glowed with sweat and pride. ‘And to think most of them thought I couldn't do it!’

"Work!" Bretman gave Joey a double-handed high five. "Miss Joey Anya!"

"That's right!" Joey whooped, savoring the astonished looks on his friends' faces.

Alex gave Joey a high-five as well. "We doubted you.”

“I didn’t doubt you for a second, Joey,” said Benny, fist-bumping the Savant before helping him get the helmet and armor off. “I knew you had it in you.”

Jermaine huffed. “He got lucky.”

“No, that was pure strength the whole way,” Jack declared, grinning and even Mortimer was beaming at Joey for his success. “Ok, that’s two challenges successfully completed, leaving just four challenges left to complete. Which one’s next?”

“So we have the archery practice next,” Bretman recalled from the note, and, once the armor was back on the hanger, off they went for the next challenge.

*****

“I got it! Let's go!” Alex reached the archery station first, snatching up the note just as the others reached him, and he read it. “‘One, and only one, must take the bow to strike the target from behind the line. Don this crimson headband to gain eagle eyes’.” He saw that the red target was only about ten feet away, so he was sure that he had this one in the bag, and began taking off his jacket.

DeStorm gave Alex a skeptical look. “Have you shot a bow and arrow before?" he questioned. "Cause I have. I’m a bow and arrow champ."

"I have not," Alex admitted.

DeStorm's frown deepened. "Cause you just volunteered not even knowing how to do it."

"Wait," Joey said, shifting in his shoes. "Maybe DeStorm would be better at this."

“Yeah, I think DeStorm should do this one, too,” Benny agreed. “I did archery in boy scout camp and it isn’t that easy to do.”

Jermaine nodded. “Yeah, for once I agree with them, let DeStorm do this challenge.”

Now Alex's common sense was also telling him to let DeStorm do the archery. But he really wanted to prove that he could do it and be a villain. "Yeah, but…" He tied the red headband around his head. "No!"

Bretman scowled, Joey's face fell, Benny face-palmed, Jermaine shook his head, and DeStorm rolled his eyes.

Alex also put on the gloves. "Okay. Here we go." He picked up the bow, loaded it with an arrow, took aim for a moment, and then shook some dust off his shoulder.

"What are you waiting for?" Joey snapped. "We don't have time!"

Alex murmured "omigosh" as he took aim once more. ‘I got this.’ His fingers dug into the string. ‘How hard can it be?’ He released – and his first shot bounced against the top of the wall. "Oh!"

Joey made a disgruntled face. "That was way off."

iThat was a practice shot,’ Alex thought, grabbing another arrow. ‘This one's the real deal.’ "Okay, I got it." He looked away and fired. "Did I get it?"

"No," Joey grumbled.

"Aw, come on!" The frustrated Aviator loaded a third arrow into his bow and aimed it directly at the heart of the target. "Here we go. I got this. You ready?"

Joey leaned forward a bit. "Yes."

Looking away again, Alex fired, and Arrow Number Three didn’t even make it to the wall.

"Oh, God," Bretman groaned.

“Alex, look at where you’re aiming,” Benny snapped. “Don’t look away!”

"We are not gonna get the spear!" Joey griped.

At this point, Alex was infinitely regretting his decision to bulldoze his way into the archery challenge. Being evil wasn’t worth making a fool of himself in front of his friends. "Omigosh." He picked up the arrow he just shot and reloaded it. "Okay. Here we go." ‘Please let me hit the target this time.’ But the arrow bounced off the wall to join its arrow companions.

"Okay, listen up." Joey plucked the remaining arrow out of the container and marched to where Alex was standing. "Do you not know how to hold a bow and arrow?"

"Do you know how?" Alex retorted.

Ignoring that, Joey helped him get into a proper archery stance. "Use your finger as a guide," the Savant instructed, "and pull it back, with your elbow flat."

Alex nodded. "Okay, like that?" He let go, and sent his fifth shot careening into the wall.

"Okay," Joey sighed and the others rolled their eyes. "Well, we're truly screwed. Are you ashamed of yourself?"

"I am," Alex grumbled, having screwed up the challenge, and he knew that his name was going into the voting pile.

Joey was clearly unsympathetic to Alex's plight. "You should be."

Alex took off the gloves, put his jacket back on, and threw the red headband against the ground. ‘DeStorm makes being evil look easy. Why is it so hard?’ He clearly wasn’t cut out to be villain.

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER NINE: THE SECOND TEST

*****

Inside the museum, the Emperor and his mother lead the girls to a table, where seven chairs had been arranged for them to sit on either side of him, and there were also plates with dumplings on them, chopsticks, and cups for tea to be poured into.

“You must finish all your dumplings with chopsticks as quickly and as ladylike as possible,” the Emperor’s mother instructed, pacing behind her son’s chair with a stern expression on her face. “You may begin.”

The six girls picked up their chopsticks, which Esther and Gabbie both had a bit of trouble with at first, and went to work on the dumplings…well both Ro and Dawn were actually eating the dumplings with quick and careful bites, the others girls weren’t keen on doing the same since they found the dumplings to be disgusting.

Gabbie, once she figured out the chopsticks, started eating her first dumpling.

‘Ugh,’ she thought, wrinkling her nose. ‘These are freakin' terrible.’ But she forced it down and went to work on the second one while trying not to gag.

*****

Esther was trying not to gag on the taste of the dumplings either, and she was wishing that the etiquette test had involved something different. ‘They need to fire their chef,’ she thought, drinking some tea to wash down the food. ‘He clearly doesn’t know how to cook!’

*****

Colleen shoved a dumpling into her mouth quickly, but cutely – and it tasted like garbage. ‘My dog could make better dumplings,’ she thought, trying not to throw up at the taste.

"Ladies," the Emperor's mother said, "speed is very important."

When no one was looking, Colleen took the dumpling out of her mouth and chucked it over her shoulder. ‘Screw this! I ain’t going to choke that down!’

*****

Tana made a face the second she saw the dumplings. ‘Girl, I don't want these rank-ass dumplings!’ she thought, having seen what Colleen was doing and the faces that both Esther and Gabbie were making. ‘That's disgusting!’

The Pin-up Girl smiled sweetly at the Emperor. "Look over there. Look!"

The Emperor obliges, and Tana took the opportunity to dispose of all her dumplings in the space of ten seconds or less. ‘I know that I’m going to fail this one,’ she thought, ‘but at least I got the beauty win under my belt.’

*****

Dawn and Ro were living for the etiquette test, and they were working through the dumplings at a quick pace. Yeah, there was clearly too much garlic in the dumplings, but they weren’t letting this fact slow them down in the slightest.

Dawn wasn’t having any troubles with the chopsticks, having been taught at an early age of how to use them by her dad, and had a love of asian food thanks to both her dad, and the various times she’d done filming in places like China and Japan.

Ro was having fun with the test as well, for she’d lived in China for a year, teaching english to the students, so she knew her way around chopsticks, and on top of that, she’d done so many food challenges that this was practically second nature for her.

"This is like a mukbang," she commented between careful bites.

Dawn nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

"Delicious!" Colleen exclaimed, turning to the Emperor's mother. "Did you cook this? Thank you!”

“Omigod,” Gabbie moaned.

Both Ro and Dawn finished their last dumpling at the same time, and the Socialite burped a little, but she was quick to conceal the burp behind her hand. "Delicious.”

*****

After several minutes passed, the food was all gone, and the mother turned to the Emperor to see who he was going to chose this time. “Emperor?”

The Emperor considered the six girls, having watched their ways of eating and their behavior during the test itself. It wasn’t lost on him that neither Colleen or Tana had eaten the dumplings, which were currently on the floor near the table, or that both Esther and Gabbie had struggled with the chopsticks, and yet there were two who had impressed him very much.

“Hmm.” The Emperor finally pointed to Ro and Dawn, who were seated side-by-side near Colleen. “These two were quite aggressive with their mouths. Could be exciting."

The Emperor's mother presented Ro and Dawn both with a pendant.

‘Oh, my,’ Ro thought, her jaw dropping a little. ‘I guess you could say it's love at first dumpling.’

Dawn felt a thrill of excitement go up her spine. ‘Yes! Years of eating with chopsticks and having etiquette drilled into my head by my southern grandmother finally pays off.’

They both had passed the second test!

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER TEN: THE FOURTH AND FIFTH CHALLENGES

*****

In the courtyard, the boys moved onto the next challenge, which was parkour, and it was plain to see, that this wasn’t going to be an easy challenge: there were five platforms going up to a narrow beam, which was angled at different points that eventually reached a series of bars, that were a good five feet above the ground, a board to bounce off of, a rope to swing on, another platform, and a single railing that ran back to the ground.

“Damn, now that’s hardcore,” DeStorm remarked. “I don’t know if I could handle that.”

“I ain’t doing it,” Jermaine stated, “I’d break my neck on that.”

Benny picked up the note that was next to a black sash and a pair of leather gloves, and he read the note. “‘One person must complete the entire course without failing, and will have only one chance to do it’.” He sighed and put the note down. “Well, this is ironic.”

“What is?” Jack asked.

The marine chuckled. “Well, before the 1920s house incident, I’d just finished up the last class I was taking to learn how to do parkour,” he explained. “So the fact that this challenge calls for parkour is a bit ironic.”

“Well, good luck to you, Benny,” said Joey, whose only experience with parkour was on MineCraft.

Benny nodded, took off his jacket, hat, gun belt, and tied the sash around his head and pulled on the gloves that he could tell were designed for parkour since they were fingerless. “Ok, let’s do this.”

The marine went to the start of the course, silently prayed, and then he tuned out everything as he jumped onto the first platform, and continued until he reached the beam, running along it without any hesitation, and then he leapt, grabbing the first bar.

The guys watched with bated breath, not daring to say anything as Benny swung from bar to bar, using swinging back and forth each time to reach the bars, and then launched himself toward the board. He bounced off it and caught the rope, swing first backwards and then forward, releasing and landing on the platform, and then went running down the railing.

The marine reached the end of the railing and did a forward roll, tucking in, and then sprang onto his feet, having completed the course successfully. “Booya!”

“Go, Benny!”

“Yay!”

“Awesome!”

“B*tch, you rock!”

“Damn, hardcore to the end!”

“Pure luck,” Jermaine grumbled while the others gathered around Benny, high-fives and fist bumps all around. “That’s all it was, pure luck.”

DeStorm faced the ex-blogger. “Well then, how about you do the next challenge if you think that luck is all that it takes,” he challenged.

“Fine, I will.” Jermaine turned on his heel and headed for the mooncakes station, where there was a plate of four golden brown mooncakes waiting, along with a knife, a plaque covered with rows of Chinese symbols, a black hat, and a note.

The ex-blogger picked up the note and read it as the guys gathered around. “‘In order to find the orders for the rebels, you must cut the mooncakes into slices, organize them to find the message and decode it, and then you must eat all of the mooncakes to make sure that the orders don’t fall into the enemy’s hands’. You have got to be joking.”

“You said you were going to do this challenge,” Joey pointed out, “so you best do it.”

Jermaine scowled. “Fine.” Putting on the hat, he pulled the plate of mooncakes forward, picked up the knife, and he went to work on slicing each into four pieces until he had a total of sixteen pieces. He then organized the slices until he was able to match up the symbols together, and he took out his notebook and pen, going to work on trying to decode the message.

The ex-blogger went through several pages before he finally got the message. “‘Once the Dragon spear has been obtained, use it to kill the Emperor before he can marry a woman to give him an heir to follow in his footsteps’.” He smirked. “There, got it decoded.”

“You still have to eat the mooncakes,” Bretman pointed out. “It says so in the note.”

Jermaine grimaced, not keen on eating all sixteen slices, but he picked up the first slice, and began eating it.

He managed to eat six of the pieces before he started feeling sick, and he struggled to eat the remaining ten slices.

The ex-blogger managed to eat two more pieces, but then he ended up throwing up, and failed the challenge. “Dammit!”

“Well, that didn’t end well,” DeStorm said sarcastically. “Two failed challenges and three succeeded challenges, just one left.” And he headed for the final station, determined to be successful where Alex and Jermaine had failed. ‘This is the final challenge, and even though I’m not keen on chess, I’m going to win.’

He wasn’t going to end up in the voting pile.

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Escape the Night. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE FINAL CHALLENGE AND FINAL TEST

*****

The final station was the Chinese chess challenge, where there was a Chinese chess set, an odd-looking hat, chess pieces, an hour-glass, and a note. ‘If Alex hadn’t jumped the gun on the archery challenge,’ he thought, ‘he could’ve been doing this and I would’ve rocked the archery challenge, for I’m an archery champion!’

Having no other choice, DeStorm took off his hat and put on the odd-looking hat. “I'm gonna do this," he said.

"All right," Joey said. "Come on, DeStorm."

Benny nodded. “You got this one.”

“Yeah, good luck,” Jermaine muttered, still looking a bit sickish.

"Go, DeStorm," Bretman said encouragingly.

Alex beamed at his ally. "All day!"

DeStorm picked up the note and read it. “‘You are the Red Player, about to begin a game of Chinese chess. Follow the symmetrical pattern of the pieces already on the board to complete setting up for a new game’.”

"Okay." The Enforcer turned a nearby hourglass upside down, wished himself luck, and started moving red pieces around the board. "Let me set this up."

Bretman offered a pinch of advice. "It says symmetrical, so you obviously have to follow the pattern. What's on this side should be on the tside."

DeStorm nodded and, following Bretman’s advice, positioned the red pieces in perfect symmetry to the black ones. "Boom," he said, placing the last piece. "Okay." ‘That wasn't so hard,’ he thought. ‘But there's a Part Two. Part Two is usually when things get tricky.’

“‘When done, perform the opening move by sliding either of your cannons sideways, ending up just behind the central pawn’,” he read from the note. ‘Well, sh*t. That's the easiest Part Two I ever saw.’  He performed the move and completed the challenge with time to spare.

"That's it!" Mortimer exclaimed.

“You did it!” Jack cheered.

‘Killed it,’ DeStorm thought, smugly.

*****

Meanwhile back in the museum, the girls knew that they had one last test to pass, and it was most likely going to be the toughest one yet. The final test that the girls were facing, was conversation, and they’d been told that they were supposed to try and make the Emperor laugh in one minute.

Colleen was going first, and luckily for her, she had the perfect weapon in her arsenal…and that weapon just so happened to be the very reason she had a YouTube career.

She cleared her throat before slipping into character. "Hey, guys! It's me, Miranda! Oh, you are a bootiful Emperor! Yes, it's so cool to see you here!" And the Emperor laughed, and so did the other girls, who were delighted to see Miranda in action once again.

‘I knew he'd like her.’ Colleen was beaming as she returned to her place in line. ‘I might not be funny, but Miranda sure is!’

*****

It was Gabbie’s turn next and, instead of doing something original, she decided to copy Colleen. ‘So Colleen made the Emperor laugh by doing Miranda,’ she thought with a shrug. ‘Okay. I can do that.’

Gabbie stepped forward and tried to mimic Colleen’s performance. “Hey," she cackled between twirls, "my name's Miranda! Check it out!"

Tana and Esther both rolled their eyes, while Ro, Dawn, and Colleen laughed.

The Emperor, however, didn’t laugh. "Boring," he yawned dismissively.

Gabbie went back in line, and her cheeks were burning with shame. ‘It's not as good the second time around.’

*****

Esther was next and she knew enough Mandarin Chinese to tell a joke. “敲敲(Knock knock),” she said.

“谁在那儿(Who’s there)?” the Emperor asked, playing along.

“医生(The doctor),” the Lounge singer replied.

“神秘博士(Doctor who)?” the Emperor asked, curious.

Esther grinned. “医生，那是谁(The Doctor, that’s who)!”

The Emperor smiled and laughed a little, and Esther rejoined the other girls, who were all snickering.

*****

It was now Ro’s turn and she was feeling nervous. “Oh gosh.” But she did know now to speak conversational Mandarin Chinese, which she picked up from her time in China. ‘Maybe my bad tones will make him laugh?’ she thought, moving forward.

"你好,我的中文不好," the Socialite said, which translated to "Hello, my Chinese is bad."And he Emperor laughed.

Ro couldn’t tell if he was laughing with her or at her, but in this case, derisive laughter was better than no laughter at all.

*****

It was Dawn’s turn and she had a plan, having secretly snagged two small jade statues from a nearby table. She knew several dialects of Chinese, including Mandarin, from working on Firefly and it’s movie sequel, Serenity.

‘Ok, time to channel my inner Wash,’ the actress thought, stepping forward and revealed the two statues, and did a conversation between them in Mandarin Chinese.

“从这里一切都看起来不错… 是。是的，这是一片肥沃的土地，我们会蓬勃发展.我们将统治这片土地，并且我们称之为...“这片土地’.我认为我们应该将其称为“您的 墓穴!啊，诅咒你突然却不可避免 背叛!哈哈哈！我的笑是邪恶的！现在 死!哦，不，上帝！哦，天上的上帝(Everything looks good from here… Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it… "This Land." think we should call it "your grave!" Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die! Oh, no, God! Oh, dear God in heaven)!”

The Emperor laughed and as Dawn went back to stand in line, she was stopped by the Emperor’s mother, who held out a hand for the statues, which the brunette handed to her, and the mother then produced a fan to smack her in the back of the head.

Dawn repressed the urge to yelp in pain, and meekly went to stand between Ro and Colleen. ‘Well, at least the Emperor is a Firefly fan,’ she thought.

*****

Tana was now up, so she decided that the Emperor needed ataste of his own medicine, and she planned on giving him exactly that.

"I think if I were to come up to you and challenge you instead of give you what you want," she suggested, "then internally, you might laugh at that a little more, maybe in a sinister way."

This earns an eye roll from Gabbie, but there was no reaction from the Emperor, and this didn’t affect Tana at all, and she went back to stand in line with her friends.

*****

A few minutes later, the Emperor’s mother inquired of her son which girl he considered to be funny.

“I'm not sure any of them qualify as funny," the Emperor mused, "but if I had to pick the least boring…" He gestured to Ro and Dawn once again. "I would say them."

Ro and Dawn's eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets as the Emperor’s mother handed them both their second pendants.

"Oh," Gabbie gasped. "They both got two of those things now.”

Tana, Ro, and Dawn were asked to move to the side so that the Emperor could choose between the three of them.

After a minute passed, the Emperor drew his sword and pointed it directly at Ro. "You," he proclaimed, "will be my wife!”

‘I won,’ Ro realized, ‘so I got immunity, just like I wanted, but that means…’ She didn’t dare finish the thought, knowing that the other girls were probably going to end up being voted for the final death challenge.

“I will make the wedding arrangements," the Emperor's mother said, her hands were on Ro's shoulders in an almost possessively manner.

The Emperor departed in one direction, presumably to primp himself up for the wedding, while the Sorceress led Gabbie, Tana, Esther, Dawn, and Colleen away in the opposite direction.

Before she knew it, Ro was alone with the Emperor's mother, and Operation Hairpin Murder was officially a go for launch.