Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A silver haired-half stood amidst the garden of shadows. Turning round, the only thing she observed was the never-ending, ever stretching darkness that covered the place in which she stood. She didn’t feel the ground below her feet, making her feel as if she was floating in that ever stretching void.

Emilia : what … what happened … the last thing I remember was … I was … fighting Pandora … then Subaru came … and then … and then … 

Emilia couldn’t remember what even’t transpired before she was enveloped within the dark shadow … this fact terrified her … what happened ? Did she die ? What about Subaru ? Was he OK ? 

Emilia : — !?

Emilia heard the sound of faint sobs and whispers … the whispers were many. But the sobs were singular … the sound of the sobs sounded awfully similar to hers. Just who was crying … and why did they sound similar to her.

The sounds of the whisperings increased … as if they approached her … and before long 5 shadowy figures surrounded her … And around each shadow were faint whispers. 

The first shadow was Sloth, a figure with slim arms that stood, the shadows had no features other than their illuminated eye sockets. That shadow of Sloth whispered in a low and sinister tone :  diligence, earned love, to love, to adore … this was caused by your sloth ! SLOTH !

The next shadow was Greed, the man that stood with a description similar to sloth in that no features were visible other than its glowing eyes. That shadow spoke in a proud and pompous voice  : mine, I am satisfied, content, I desire no more … this is retribution for your Greed, GREED ! 

After that was Wrath, a feminine looking shadow, however it differed not from the two shadows that stood previous to it. Wrath spoke in a soft voice : thank you, I am sorry. Thank you. I am sorry, thank you. Thank you so much, I am so very sorry … truly this was a consequence of your wrath … WRATH !

Lust the spoke in a high-pitched arrogance : me, me, me, all eyes on me … everyone look at ME AND ONLY ME . you couldn’t contain your selfish desire and this is what you get ! Lust ! … LUST !

Gluttony was the quietest of the voices that spoke, and it's shadow the faintest. Only Louis … no, that wasn't her name any more. Only Spica remained alive, and so full access to the [Authority of Gluttony was never accessed]. Yet, the shadowy figure still spoke : who am I ? I am you ? Me and you, or you and I ? … we desire to be hole, and yet we are satisfied ! We hunger and yet we are fed ! Truly this is … GLUTTONY !

Emilia looked around as she was surrounded by the 5 shadows … only to see someone who sat at the middle of which the shadows encircled … the figure seemed to be holding someone. Someone who laid in her lap. 

Emilia : Just who … *gasp* … y-you are …  

Emilia realised who the one who sat in front of her was … the person who had always been associated with her. The person who had ruined every connection she tried to build. The one who shared the title of “half-elf” sat in front of her. Yet, why didn’t Emilia feel scared … she felt as if she even belonged here …  Something was going on …  

Emilia walked closer towards the figure, and noticed that the one who laid in her lap was Subaru. Suddenly, she tried to rush towards her, trying to protect him from what was in front of her. But her body couldn’t move, it was paralysed in pure fear. 

The witch that sat in front of her turned around as she sensed the disturbance that was within her domain … as soon as she looked at her. Her eyes widened. 

Satella : why … why are you here … you shouldn’t be here …

Emilia stepped back slightly, her entire body screamed at her to run away … and yet another part wanted to stay … why did she feel a sense of familiarity with the person who stood before her. Yet, the thing that disturbed her the most … why … why did she look so much like her …

Emilia : w-wait … who … who are you … why do you look like me … let go of Subaru … 

Satella : I … I am … I don’t know …  How to explain it … I can’t … 

Emilia : you can’t ? No ! I am not letting Subaru die in yo-

Emilia’s body staggered as if in pain of shortly before she took a battle stance as Satella spoke.

Satella : Subaru is already dead …  

Satella said as tears began to well up in her eyes as she looked at the boy that laid within her lap … he had a peaceful sleeping expression on his face, when was the last time he had such an expression ever since he came to this world ? 

Satella : Flu- … no … Subaru … why … why couldn’t you remember me … why did you forget … 

Emilia’s eyes widened … at the sudden show of affection towards her knight by her own look alike … 

Emilia : w-why are you crying … and how do you know Subaru … 

Satella : because he never stops … he never stops hating himself … why … why is it so difficult for you to love yourself more … you're only human … you are allowed to say that it’s too much …  To be sad …

Emilia : what are you talking about … tell me … please … I need to know … who hurt Suba- …

Satella : EVERYONE  ! EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU ! EVERYONE IN THIS CURSED WORLD THAT IS SO DEVOID OF LOVE ! AND EVEN YOU KILLED HIM !

Emilia stepped back at the yells that were directed towards her …  This wasn’t the witch that she heard about … why was she crying ? Why was she so hurt ? Why was she holding Subaru so intimately ?

Emilia : w-what are you talking about … S-subaru never died … he always lived … 

Satella : you didn’t see him die … again and again … it wasn’t the best … but it’s the only thing I could give … I wanted to give more … if I could be with him … 

Satella : you know nothing of his curse …  That was also my fault … 

Her mind wandered back to the day when she stopped Subaru … that day when he screamed over Emilia’s corps … he cried … he struggled … the way he wept … before he met his demise by the hands of snow.

Emilia : curse ? What are you talking about ! I don’t understand ! Tell me ! I … I want to … 

Satella : the witch factor of envy … he died … over and over … over and over and over again … I didn’t give it for him to use it that way … over and over … dying and returning … 

Emilia : Subaru … died ? But I am sure her was …


The realisation was harsh, cruel, too cruel even … how ? When ? Where ? By what ? Subaru was just fine a moment ago … why ? Why didn’t he tell her ? What did this which do to make it so Subaru couldn’t tell her … 

Satella : Subaru always knew what to do … because he had already failed … he doesn’t want to suffer any more …

Emilia : but when … when did he have such an ability … why ! What happened  … 

Satella : … 

Emilia : — !? 

Satella : do you remember how you killed him ? 

Emilia suddenly felt an intense surge of pain as she her fuzzy memory was being restored … that horrific sight appeared before her … she was killed … and before doing so … had killed Subaru … she had gutted him from the inside out with her ice … a tree of ice decorated with his internal organs. His intestines spread like Christmas decorations, while his organs and limbs were like trinkets … one could say that the only mercy in this death … is that it would have been quick and painless … 

Emilia wanted to puke. She wanted to vomit … to spill her insides … Subaru’s blood was on her hands … 

Emilia : S-Subaru … I … I … I k-killed … S-Suba- … 

Satella : be glad … it was a painless death … 

Emilia collapsed … she was mentally destroyed … if she could … she’d have vomited. At this moment, Emilia was so mentally shocked by the horrible scene she had seen that she was willing to do anything in order to erase that scene from her memory. 

Emilia : n-no … t-this isn’t true … I … I’d never … I’d never hurt him … not after all what Subaru did to me … not me … nor the others … 

Satella : are you sure of that ? Because I am sure that now … everyone has killed him at least once … 

Emilia: n-no … no … we … we wouldn’t … 

Satella : it’s not about if you would … you already did … 

Emilia : THEN WHY DIDN’T HE TELL US !


Satella : …

Emilia : … I … I shouldn’t say that … if we really did … why … why didn’t he tell us … 

Satella : I didn’t allow that … 

Emilia’s eyes flashed with a sudden hint of content from the witch.


Emilia : w-why ! If what you are saying is true, why didn’t you allow him to do that ! The simple task of telling us ! 

Satella : you would have used him … especially that clown. 

Emilia : — ! N-no ! That's not true, that is … 

Satella :  … 

Emilia : S-subaru … 

Satella looked away from Emilia, returning her gaze to the sleeping boy in her lap.

Satella : why … why did you forget me …

Satella spoke with a solemn tone as she stroked the hair of the one she loved. However now she realised that the one she loved no longer loved her back, at least in a literal sense. 

The information that Satella knew was that Flugel, having lost his memories, no longer became the same man she loved. She understood that in order for his plan to work, he had to forget everyone, and yet she promised that she’d never forget him. She’d always remember the man who loved her more than everything, the one who gave her everything.

This moment of deep thought would be cut as Emilia finally snapped into her right mind … 

Emilia : I … I have a question … 

Satella slowly lifted her head slightly… to look at the other silver haired half elf.

Emilia : were the words he told me … did they even matter … did he … did he lie to me … 

Satella : … … no 

Emilia : — hk ! B-but … but how … if what you are saying is true … then why … why … why doesn’t he hate me … hate us … 

Emilia spoke in a broken voice, her eyes which were dry had begun to shed tears.

Satella : because he loves you … he loves each one of you … 

Emilia finally broke, she cried. Quite sobs, painful tears fell … she didn’t know why … why was he the one subjected to this paint … Subaru, her knight … forced into silence … a suffering servant of this world … 

Emilia : please … please let him live …


Satella : why … do you want him to suffer ? 

Emilia : no ! … I … I want to tell him … to talk to Subaru … to tell him the same words he told me at the sanctuary … I … I understand it ! I want to talk with Subaru ! Laugh and cry with Subaru ! … 

Satella : you really are like her … 

Emilia : huh … 

Satella : Emilia … do you know who your parents were ? … 

Emilia staggered back, taking a deep breath at the question which came seemingly out of  no-where … 

Emilia : n-no … parents were mother Fortuna and father Geuse … 

Satella : and what about your real parents … 

Emilia lowered her head slight … Emilia : n-no … I … I don’t … I … I don’t know … 

Satella : would you like to ? 

Emilia : … if it will help me … to grow so I can stand by Subaru … then … 

Emilia finally lifted her face to look at Satella. 

Emilia : then so be it … 

Satella unknowingly smiled gently, a smile so unnoticeable that it wasn’t even visible to Emilia, who stood in front of her face to face.  If one asked why she smiled … she wouldn’t know why … but it could be described as her being proud of her look alike … 

Satella raised her hand, placing a finger on Emilia’s forehead … a gentle touch of her index finger. A touch that caused an exchange of memories. 

Two figures sat over a body of a newborn … the mother who held the child, possessing beautiful flowing blond hair, cried in a primal voice. One that expressed her grief and her anger at the world which took away the soul that she had brought into the world. She was held tight by a man … who looked to be an elf, who possessed a very sad expression as he held his weeping wife. 

The woman, who repainted the sin of wrath, was in a deep state of grief. Not just at the death of her daughter, but at the fact that she couldn't do anything about it. Given the ability to heal, and ease the pain of others. Yet, she couldn't bring people back from the dead. Such was then curse of the grieving mother, known as the witch of wrath … Minerva. 

Later on that day …

Echidna : You can’t be serious … you are barely able to control your witch factor … and here you are saying you will split your Od ! Have you finally lost your mind !

Satella : you and I know very well Minerva doesn’t deserve this, Echidna.

Echidna : are you listening to yourself ?! You haven’t even asked Flugel about this ! Even the drunk idiot or the dragon wouldn’t approve.

Satella : I already made up my mind … Echidna.

Echidna : they aren’t even your own ! Why !? Why are you so insistent on saving a child that won’t even remember you 100 years from now ! 

Satella turned to face one of her closest friends, a small, gentle smile on her face as she tilted her head slightly. It was an inevitably given the time they spent together as a part of the team Flugel has built. Echidna was a professional at giving Satella the cold shoulder, the type of behaviour her lover called ‘tsundere’ so it was a nice change of behaviour.

No matter how many times Echidna tried to convince them that she wasn’t a good person … Satella and the rest were able to see through her act, and even got a cute angry reaction out of her.

Satella : you know … dona … you’re much nicer than what you claim … so please … take care of her when the time comes. OK ?

Echidna’s eyes widened in disbelief … 

The rest were fussy memories … the child opened her eyes slightly, only to reach out its hand. That hand was held by Satella as she looked at the child.

Satella : you are quite the naughty child, making your mother cry like that … you probably won’t remember me … but that's OK …

The rest was a series of fuzzy memories … 

Minerva : WHY ! WHY ! WHY ! WHY DID YOU DO THIS … WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU !

The face of a crying Minerva, as she cried over a Red Sea of blood … the blood of elves that have been used to drag her to a specific person … as a gentle voice talked to her. The gentle voice of a petite woman with platinum hair and deep ocean blue eyes …

Pandora : it’s nothing really, they were simply pests that I had to remove to get to the seal … only to find that the key I had was a … forgery.

Minerva : you … you are despicable … you are evil … just the sight of you makes my blood boil !

Pandora : Is that so ? Well, I am sorry you feel that way …

Elf man : dear sister … please take care of her … I need to go or else many will die …

Fortuna : You really are irresponsible … brother … please tell me you decided on a name at least … 

Man : thank you … I don't know how to repay you … I am sure if she was- … I am sure she’d be thankful …. Her name is Emilia … 

The man gently removed to strands of her from the child who reached out with its small hands towards her father. A mirror image of his amethyst eyes. 

Man : Emilia … promise me you will be a good girl, OK ? Daddy will make sure to come back with mommy … and then we can play together till you’re sleepy. 

The man then left Elinor forest … never to return … 

Hoshin drowned Typhon to preserve her she had lost control of her Witch factor, he didn't think that a child like her deserved to die so early … he would hate himself till the day his Od returned to the Od Laguna … he gravely hoped Sekhmet would forgive him …

Hoshin : please … forgive me … I … 

The man said as he looked at the flooded trap … 

Pandora : you are in quite the State … 

Pandora spoke as she looked with her usual amused smile looking at Daphne who was emerged in sand … the witch of Gluttony’s body laid malnourished her body only had its bony husk remaining 

Daphne : I don't … I don't need your sympathy… he … he will avenge me … 

Pandora : …  

Pandora : how sad …  Even though you said you would never hurt them … they still burnt you … how naive … 

Beneath Pandora was the burnt, unrecognisable corps … of the witch of lust … Carmella …

Echidna : my time here is nearing its end … puck … your first contract will be the following … you will look for the one who looks like her. Protect her at all costs … and if she does die … destroy the world … that’s what he said would be the most reliable method. 

Puck : but … mother … what about the others … 

Echidna : they will figure things out … I truly believe so.

These were Echidna’s final words as she stood against the wrath of the furious blue dragon that stood before her. However, that dragon wasn't in its right mind, as the one who stood atop his head was that titanium haired lady.

Pandora : You sure are stubborn … trying to find a cure to control the witch factor of that half elf … 

Echidna : as if you’d understand what I was doing … you … you were the one that killed the child … weren't you ?

Pandora : and what If I did ? What does that change ? Nothing it seems … to be honest it saddens me … I thought you would be most likely to help with earning his love.

Echidna : Well, I suppose that even though I am a witch, I was never one to steal things from others.

Pandora : well, I suppose you won't cause that much trouble … Sloth has already been removed … it seems he has yet again escaped from me … they did say distance makes the heart grow fond … 

Emilia Gasped for air as the visions stopped … 

Emilia : pha … bha … Pan … Pandora … Pandora … 

Satella : she … she was the one that sent him away from me … 

Emilia : then the seal … it contains —

Satella : yes … the seal contains Flugel's memories … she wants to get them … she'll try again to get him to love her … she’ll fail … and reset the world again … she’ll remove him again … kill him again … again … again … again … again … 

Satella continued descending into a state of sorrow. 

Emilia : I … I-I understand … but … 

Emilia looked down at her knight, who slept with a rare peaceful expression on her look-alike’s laps. 

Emilia : but if what you say is true … what can we do at this point ? 

Satella lowered her head … before she raised her head to look at Emilia : 

Satella : I … I am willing to help … if it means he can be happy … 

Emilia : What do you mean ? …

Satella : The witch factor of Envy and Vainglory can't co-exist … the two witch factors function antagonistically … I’ll give you the second part of the witch factor … Pandora will think that you are the trigger … and intentionally try to kill you … but in doing so, Envy will be released … She will do the rest … 

Emilia : But … What about you ? 

Satella : I am not planning on dying … I made a promise … 

Emilia sat down again as she looked at Satella … her eyes filled with a strange sense of determination … 

Emilia : I won't allow you to die … forgive me if it is selfish and dumb … but I believe that 

Subaru has a lot of things to tell you … and I believe for that you must live … 

Satella looked at Emilia with eyes filled with surprise, her eyes widened in shock as she saw her own reflection… kind, pure and immature, yet at this moment … she looked determined to save … the same look that her beloved had looked at her at the witches tea party … the same look that said … “I promise … I am going to save you …”

The Garden of shadows was cracked by fractures of light, the light shining on the two half-elves.

Satella : ... I’ll leave it up to him then …

Emilia : What ? 

Satella : if you want to know what Subaru had seen … you can ask him … tell him that I allowed him … even his books of the dead …

Emilia : w-wait, … what are you talking about !?  T-there are still many things I wanted to ask … 

The half elf didn’t receive the chance to continue her speech as her vision was blinded by the light that cover her eyes. 

Satella : The same is here … I await the time when I can converse with you … I am sure there are lots of things we can share… but now is not the time … 

Satella then turned to see Subaru again, slowly caressing his head, her hand carried the soft and gentle affection of a passionate lover. After all, the one who she held in her hands was indeed the vessel of her lover. Her lover who offered forgiveness instead of wrath … worked diligently to avoid sloth … made her feel whole, instead of Gluttonous … loved her for who she is rather than lust after her … wanted to share everything with her instead of giving into his greed … and was so humble that he took his pride in her achievements.

Yet unlike her … the sin which they both shared … they both envied anyone who spent time with the other. These two souls almost bound by fate … will find each other … Flugel and Satella, Subaru and Emilia … this is a love so powerful that even the chains of fate couldn’t hold it down … and as of right now … Satella waited … to see if that person … that man whom she loved … was still inside there …  

The battle was intense … severe … how … how many times had she died ? How many times did she kill her ? Emilia lost counted after 650 … 650 deaths … Subaru should be approaching shortly … he entrusted Emilia with dealing with pandora … Capella and Sirius should be dead … she didn’t know if spica was alive or not … she hoped so … but was prepared for the worst … she was tiered …  If one could sum up Emilia’s mental and physical conditions … it would be tired … she wanted to collapse … to sleep

Emilia breathed heavily as she stood over the platinum haired witch of vainglory. Her sword made of Ice was inches away from the witch's throat. However, using it won’t be necessary, the witch was currently fading into small sprinkles of dust … her witch-factor which maintained her beating rhythm of life as created by her here was no longer.

Pandora raised her head to look at that beautiful silver hair which stood above her, a very faint smile appearing on her face. However, that small bore nothing but sadness … melancholy even. However, it also carried a hint of genuine joy …

Pandora : how beautiful … how fantastical … how incredible … such pure love, why couldn’t I such a thing … I wanted it … I needed it … I desired it … I want it … let it be mine … mine … mine … mine … mine … mine … mi— 

Emilia : that's enough … 

Emilia didn’t have a face that showed anger… nor did it show hate … in fact, it didn’t show any emotions … anger, wrath, sadness, sorrow, grief, determination … none. Not at all, absolutely non … the face Emilia carried was a face that was tiered … exhausted … a face that wanted it all to be done. 

Emilia : that’s enough … just … die … let it end … you’ve lived long enough … you tried enough … now … please rest … die … let him rest … he’s long gone, and you know it … 

Pandora Gasped as she stared at the half-elf. Before tears started to well up in her eyes …

Pandora : why … why did you and the others feel that love … why you … you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you 

Emilia : you never trusted anyone, did you … if you couldn’t trust someone … speak with anyone … have fights with anyone … how … just how do you expect to grow with them … you poor thing …
 

Emilia looked down at the miserable, decaying husk of a witch … she then turned around and began walking away.

Pandora’s eyes flashed her anger at the sight of the half elf walking away …

Pandora : w-where are you going ! d-didn’t you want to kill me ! T-this is your chance ! 

Emilia turned her head slightly.

Emilia : I … I am done … I have wasted enough … hurt myself enough … exhausted myself enough … hated you enough … I hated myself enough … and then I found out that the one I hated so much … was not at fault …

Pandora : w-what ? H-how d-... did you … why did … how … … how did you talk to her ? … 

Emilia : hm ? Oh … you can ask her yourself … ngh … 

Out of Emilia emerged dark shadows that hurried to consume the being known as Pandora. For a second Pandora thought that this was Satella … however this was not Satella this was whatever remained of the witch of envy … . With that, Pandora was finally gone … and the shadow quickly dissipated.

Emilia felt another pang of pain … the witch factor of vainglory, damaged, fragile and on the edge of breaking … has nested its self inside the half elf … it was clear that it can only be used a couple of times before it finally broke down. 

However, Emilia couldn’t stand any more, her body had reached its physical limit … from behind her, she heard a voice … calling out to her … yet she was too weak to turn around, she slowly descended before collapsing onto the ground …  Yet she saw a person as she fell down. As if it held her just for a second longer … an elf she loved when she was but a little girl … 

Emilia : mother … Fortuna  … was I good ?



The vintage of Fortuna, as per Emilia’s mind, smiled. She didn’t talk and yet her eyes conveyed the massage of her being a proud mother … she now knew who her mother really was … yet in her heart, Fortuna was that much closer to her mother than anyone else will be. With an exhausted sigh, Emilia finally closed her eyes, and descended into a slumber.

Emilia felt her eyes open again, the light piercing through, the images of the people shown were still foggy … unclear … she was still adjusting to the light of the well illuminated room. She felt the soft surface on which she slayed, the surface gently folded and moulding to accommodate for her tiered body. Her ears also began to again receive stimulation and transfer them to her brain. It almost seemed as if Emilia had awakened from a sleep so deep that it wouldn’t be an understatement to say that she had practically almost died. In reality, however, she had done just that. If it weren’t the Camp quickly taking her to Felix, Emilia would have most certainly died … permanently.

??? : EMILIA ! 

??? : calm down, I suppose ! She’s probably tired.

??? : perverted Barasu can’t keep his perverted hands off a candidate for the throne, hmph ! How disgusting.

??? : sister, I believe now is really not the time for such jokes.

??? : hmph ! Rem really needs to improve her taste in men.

??? : I really believe this isn’t the time for all this ! 

??? : I Agree with Brotto ! We gotta give the princess some room 

Emilia opened her eyes, the image was now clear, it was the entire camped gathered around her, among them Subaru also looked at Emilia with relieved eyes. She was safe … it was finally over … Subaru hugged Emilia, holding her tightly … he was the one most worried during all of this … the man who loved her more than anyone in the room held her, tears sitting at the corners of his eyes. Emilia, wanting to finally return the love of which she felt towards him, wrapped her arms around him, embracing him back.

Subaru : thank goodness … I … I was so worried …

Emilia let out a small sniff before she responded : me too … 

At a Que from Rem, The rest of the members who stood, Rem, Ram, Beatrice, Otto and Garfiel figured they would give Subaru and Emilia their moment and so promptly left the room in which they both sat. Leaving only, the half elf and her knight sat inside a room illuminated by the gentle rays of the morning sun. 

A moment of silence passed between the two, but to Emilia it felt like an eternity. What could she say ? Was she worthy of speaking ? She understood what Subaru gone through, even if slightly … she didn’t yet comprehend the amount of suffering Subaru went through … she understood, Subaru wasn’t a combatant … 

Subaru : E-Emilia !

Subaru stood up looking at the face of Emilia, a very worried expression on his face, a face showing the immense care he held for the woman who stood in front of him.

Emilia : — !? 

Unnoticed to Emilia, her eyes had tiers flowing down, when did she begin to cry ? She didn’t notice until now, the moisture descending her cheek as she looked with a shocked gaze at the raven haired knight who stood in front of her. 

Subaru : w-why are you crying !?



Emilia : I … I am sorry …

Subaru : Sorry ? Sorry for what ? You did nothing wrong !


Emilia : no ! No, I did ! I never noticed you ! Never noticed how tiered you were ! How much you gave up … all for my sake …


Subaru : w-wait … Emilia … what are you— 

Subaru’s hand moved to clench his chest, he was begging that Emilia would say what he had in mind. Inside him was the never ending fear of the witch of envy, who would appear. 

Emilia : over and over … I only experienced it myself for a brief moment … so I can’t imagine how it must have been for you … I … I am sorry … 

Subaru’s heat clenched tighter, only one phrase repeated inside Subaru’s head. “Please no, no, no, no, no, no …”


Subaru : Emilia … are you talking about … 

Emilia : Subaru … please … tell me what you lived through … and tell me about return by death. 

HELLO ! To Whoever you are, I hope you are having a wonderful day ! In case you don't know me, I am Canvus. (Author name, duh) I am the guy who wrote ABAM. (my most known work ... well technically it's my only ligament work, but anyway.) 

I have a couple of things that I need to explain as we enter this story.


(the first 5-ish chapters will probably be very rough, as it's near impossible to predict how re:zero will end. So I'll try as best as I can to wrap everything as best as I can, but technically : Arc one of this story is not starting till CH.5)

here are some of the theories I'll be rolling with :

-Minerva is Emilia's mother 

-Subaru is a memory wiped Flugel and by extension he is not Flugel as re:zero makes a pretty solid case for memories being what makes up a person.  Flugel with no Flugel memories is NOT Flugel. 

What I'll be expanding upon in this story : there alot of things that I'll expand apon, I won't reveal them all just yet. but one of the big ones is the magic system of re:zero as I felt that it was one of the aspects that Tappei could have delved into more.

as for update schedual ... yeee, no. this story has no update schedual, I'll take this on my own pace. I will update it, but not frequently. if I ever decid that I don't wnat to write it anymore, I'll simply delet it. 

Chapter Text

A boy took a weird pose before uttering the words, "My name is Natsuki Subaru. Not only am I clueless, I'm also broke beyond compare! Nice to meet you." 


“I promise I am going to save you”


"Why don't you remember?!"

"Why do you all keep leaving me behind? What did I do to you?!"

"What did I do wrong?!"

"Why do guys hate me so much?!"

“I hate myself !” 

“Can I really believe… that the people I care about… also... care about me?”

“I love you, Emilia.”

“Leave the rest to me !” 

“If that man's name is Natsuki Subaru … then I am Natsuki Subaru” 

“Come find me ! Satella !” 

Bruised, battered, beheaded, decapitated, mutilated, Splattered, burnt, frozen, Pierced, possessed, shredded, devoured … just in what way did he not die ? Only to come back to die some more … what kind of person would go to such lengths ? Why would they even do so in the first place ? 

… 

Who's memories even were these ? They definitely weren't Emilia’s … could they even be called memories … because Emilia never recalled such events.

Truth is that as of currently … Emilia was experiencing the memories of Natsuki Subaru from a third person's point of view. She saw everything … every failed loop … every possible wrong timeline … how much did he suffer ? How much pain did he have to go through … 

“Emilia !” A voice called out …

The voice of the one she vowed to protect … to cherish … and to wholly love … he didn't have to be the smartest, the fastest, the strongest, the most capable or the most noble … all he had to be was-

“Emilia !”, it called out louder … 

He only had to be Natsuki Subaru.

It was then that Emilia woke up …

Emilia : Subaru … please tell me about return by death.

These words gave Subaru a heart attack. His face immediately contorted in fear, stress, anxiety and horror. Last time he tried to utter those words to Emilia … he ended up with a corpse in his hands. To say that Subaru didn’t associate uttering those three words “return by death” would be a massive understatement.


Subaru : E-Emilia-tan ... Could you repeat that ? I am afraid I didn’t hear you quite well … 

Subaru desperately wished he had misheard Emilia. His ears had accurately picked up her voice uttering those words, and yet … and yet Subaru still hoped that he heard it incorrectly. 

Emilia : Return by death, Subaru … I said Return by death … 

Subaru : —hk!? 

Emilia : don’t worry … She allowed me to speak about … about it with you. 

Emilia : please tell me what she told me about you was false ! A lie ! Please tell me she lied … please … please tell me that I  … That I … 

Emilia looked at Subaru with eyes that carried many emotions … betrayal because Subaru never told her … yet she couldn’t blame him. Grief because Subaru had to carry such a heavy weight alone, and disappointment not in Subaru … but in herself … if she was better … she would have known … yet above all that … it was her sense of sorrow with a mixture of self-hatred. Her obliviousness … her stupidity  … her sheer and utter incompetence … and her Naivety.—

Emilia : that I didn't kill you … 

Subaru : E-Emilia-tan … 

Emilia : tell me please … tell me that I didn’t kill you … that they … that we …  

Emilia looked at Subaru with tear filled eyes … she couldn't Imagine the amount of pain Subaru must have gone through … 

Subaru also was conflicted … what could he respond … to be honest he was conflicted on if he should even respond … nonetheless he responded anyway … 

Subaru : Emilia … it's true … 

Emilia : —hk! 

Subaru : if what you are saying is true … and you really did talk to Satella … then please … allow me to finally… 

His breath was shaky, his nerves destroyed completely…

Clenching onto his chest, Subaru closed his eyes, preparing himself mentally for anything that might happen.

Subaru : E-Emilia … I … I can return by death ! 

The raven haired boy said as he huffed in exhaustion … his eyes shut tight, scared for his life and the life of the person who sat In front of him. 

However, upon opening his eyes … he was created with the same weeping Emilia … it wasn't a bluff … nor was it a prank … a joke … a dream … this was reality … 

Emilia : Subaru … 

That half elf … the one who saved him … the one whom he suffered so much for … now stood In front of him … still healthy … yet she still carried that look. A look that only uttered “I am sorry”.

Subaru : —hk …  E-Emi-

Emilia : S-Subaru … it has been rough hasn't it … 

The damp broke, Subaru finally began to cry … filled with disbelief … joy … finally… he can speak the name of his curse … it didn't matter that she was the only person he could speak this too … he was glad it was her … he was glad that he can speak about it … for real this time … not some dream … not some other dimensions … not some fake reality that can be ripped away at any moment … and yet … Subaru was tiered … his legs gave in … he knelt onto the floor.

Subaru : E-Emilia … y-y-your … still here …

Emilia quickly got up from her bed, her body tiered and yelling at her to stay in bed, and yet she perservered. Subaru tried to protest against her, claiming she needed to recover … but that didn't matter to Emilia … she only had one objective …one objective only. 

Gently and tenderly, with the grace of an angel and the care of a lover, Emilia held Subaru's head close to her bosom and began slowly stroking his hair, a sorrowful expression on her face. 

Emilia : I … I am sorry I never noticed how tired you looked … I am sorry for being too naive, for putting you in danger… and … I am sorry I took so long to return those words which you spoke to me … 

Subaru only sobbed as Emilia held him, the flooding Emotions that came rushing through … he couldn't hold them in … the tears continued to pour as he tried his hardest to speak … however Emilia continued to gently stroke his hair with a soft, gentle almost maternal aura around her. Subaru felt at that moment as if a massive weight had been lifted off his shoulders … as if he could breathe normally again.

Subaru : I … I wanted to you … to tell Rem … to tell everyone else … I wanted to tell you for so long … 

Subaru spoke between sniffs and sobs, he wanted to speak those words for the longest time. Finally, after a gruelling journey, he was able to finally utter those words. Those words, which made him feel trapped inside a prison for oh so long.

Emilia : It wasn't your fault … 

The chiming of silver bells blessed the ears of the one beloved by the witch. That soft voice that uttered a wave of peace inside the heart of the black, ravened haired boy. Her hands, soft and gentle, stroked his hair with such a soft pressure that the only fair way to describe it was blissful.

Subaru : Every time … every damn time … every moment … the moment I came back … it was only pain … everyone kept leaving me behind … I … I felt so alone … 

Subaru was in his most vulnerable state, he held onto Emilia as if she was the only thing left anchoring him to existing in this reality.

Because truthfully, due to Subaru’s overwhelming Emotions, the witch factors that were inside home have begun to rile up. However, the calming presence of Emilia and the pure feelings of affection that weld from Subaru towards her, were more than capable of Subduing the chaotic witch factors.

Emilia : then I promise to never leave you alone again … because truthfully … Subaru … I have been meaning to tell you something.

Subaru lifted his face to look at Emilia, the two individuals looked into the teary eyes of one another. Just then … Subaru subconscious finally understood what Emilia was about to utter out of her slender lips. 

Emilia : Subaru … I love you … 

Subaru : —hk !? E-Emilia- 

Emilia : I really do … ever since that time at the sanctuary… no … if I am honest … it's since the day when I told you my name was Satella …. 

Subaru’s eyes widened even more, those 3 words were already a sudden shock … but the rest ? He felt his brain physically begin to short circuit. 

Subaru : Emilia … y-you … you remember … 

That realisation hit Subaru harder than truck. Emilia remember… she remembered … all the way back … wait … did she read one of his books of the dead ? But the witch didn't appear … she didn't appear also when he uttered the cursed three words … just what was going on.

Emilia : when me and her met … she wanted me to know you on a deeper level … and I feel I have been too naive to gate keep it from you for so long … 

“What ?” this was the only thing that came to mind when Subaru heard those words … Satella had told Emilia about Return by death … was this some kind of sick joke? Was that witch planning on teasing him and then snatching everything away again ? Why ? 

Subaru : Emilia … 

However, before Subaru could continue his response to Emilia’s declaration … Emilia continued.

Emilia : so allow me to say it again … I love you Subaru … as Emilia … just Emilia … I love you Subaru and I want to stand beside you … I want to laugh with you, to cry with you, to go through life together … I know you aren't the strongest, I know you aren't the smartest nor are you the fastest … but I want you Subaru … 

Subaru couldn't believe what he was hearing.

His eye delighted in the sight of the smiling Emilia.

His ears were in heaven, experiencing her angelic voice. 

So why ? 

Why ?

After all this … why did this feel wrong ? 

Emilia : and I know … I know you have feelings for Rem … and I wouldn't mind … because if that's your design … then I will wholeheartedly support it … 

Subaru : E-Emilia-tan … what are you saying … surely you can't be serious …


Emilia looked at Subaru with her eyes narrowed slightly, a cute pout on her teary face before she slammed her head against Subaru. Having seen his memories, she got an up close and personal feeling of how Subaru felt on himself, and so she decided that enough would be enough. Cupping his face in her hands, she quickly banged her head against his. 

Subaru : OW ! Emilia-tan ! w-why–


Emilia : is it really that hard to give yourself some credit ! 


Subaru : — what ?


Emilia : dying over and over … you saved many … even if you didn’t do it on your first attempt … your second or thousandth … you still did it … 

Subaru : but that's still not an excuse- 

Emilia : it's not an Excuse… it's what it is … Subaru … I chose to love you … I want to love you … not because you're strong, fast, or out of pity … but because you are you, Subaru.

As the half elf held the face of her knight, she looked into his eyes with a determined Gaze. A gaze that held nothing but pure affection towards the black hair boy In front of her known as only Subaru … not Subaru Natsuki, not Subaru the sage, not Subaru the knight, not Subaru who defeated the witch cult. Only Subaru … the boy, no … the man she fell in love with.

Emilia : I think it's my turn … if you don't want this … that's completely fine … just move to the side … 

Subaru : Emilia … wait what are you going t- 

Quickly, she put her lips to his. The kiss, clumsy in its nature and a very clear indicator of the pure half-elf girl’s lack of experience. Yet this statement could be said to both individuals as of currently. Neither the black haired boy nor the silver haired girl had that much experience beyond hand holding, so what was important here was the message, the feeling behind the kiss. 

And so … Subaru reciprocated the feeling. Clumsily, as well, he kissed back. This was the confirmation that both of them needed to make sure of each other's love. 

Finally, after a quick moment that they wanted to last long. They broke the kiss, looking into each other's eyes. With eyes full of nothing but the priest form of affection, one can muster towards another. Love, adoration, belonging, desire. These were the feelings being exchanged in this current moment, right here and right now. 

Emilia : so please … now that you have accepted this … I want you to promise me … that you’ll love yourself as much as you love me and Rem. 

Subaru looked at her with a soft smile and a determined Gaze, a Gaze which Emilia very much enjoyed looking at, the confident expression of her lover. 

Subaru : I learned my lesson. I can't promise that I’ll fix it … however I can promise you that I’ll never give up on trying to do so. 

Emilia : and that's enough for me … because I promise you that I won’t leave you alone. 


Subaru : thank you … truthfully … thank you, Emilia-tan, I’ll leave now. You should rest. Afterwards we can discuss matters of the Royal selection.

Emilia nodded her head, a small, gentle smile returning to her face as she looked at Subaru. However, a spark in her eyes was sparked as she made a request for Subaru.

Emilia : wait, S-Subaru … can you … call Rem for me ? 

Subaru : oh, Rem ? Well, I guess I can do that. Why though ?


Emilia : there is something I have to talk to her about. 

Subaru : ok then. 

With a small smile, Subaru closed the door behind him. As soon as Subaru closed the door , he leaned back against it. His eyes still moist from the words utter. But then he looked up at the ceiling of the manor before clenching his hand into a fist.

Subaru : —(Mom … Dad … WHERE EVER YOU ARE, I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD ! CUS YOUR BOY IS NOT JUST ABOUT TO MARRY ONE ! BUT TWO ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND DOWN RIGHT GORGEOUS WOMEN ! YOUR SON HAS OFFICIALLY BECOME A MAN NOW, DAD !)---

Ram : did Emilia-sama make you realise how worthless you are by rejecting your useless existence ? 

Subaru : SERIOUSLY, ONEE-SAN !? YOU WERE LISTENING ? 

Ram : Ram was not interested in what ever Subaru had to discuss with Emilia-sama. Ram was only passing by. When you found out, you will look to the ceiling like an idiot. 

Subaru : jeez, you really don’t plan on being nicer to me any time soon, don’t you.


The pink haired maid only crossed her arms below her modest chest. Looking at Subaru with her usual deadpan expression.


Subaru : anyway … where is Rem ?


Ram : you’ll find Ram’s younger sister upstairs, don’t you dare try and corrupt her with your lustful nature, Barasu.  

Subaru : thanks, Onee-san ! 

Ram : hmph ! 

「Later …」

Rem sat next to Emilia, as Emilia looked at Rem with a serious face, however the Half-elf didn't have it with in her to make a scary face, it was impossible with her cute features. Rem however was starting to get worried, she has never seen such a grim expression on Emilia’s face, even if it didn't send out the amount of threating Aura it was supposed too. 

Rem : um … lady Emilia … did I do something to anger you ? If so, I deeply apologise, but I want to know what exactly I did. 

The blue haired Maid spoke in her usual soft-spoken tone while twirling a strand of her around her finger as an act of shyness, to be truthful : to Rem, Emilia’s gaze was quite intense.

Emilia sighed, she was in a different spot right now. She was completely fine with Subaru marrying Rem, But still … after Experiencing Subaru’s Memories, she wondered how Subaru brought himself to loving Rem again. “How” she wondered … was this some form of strange, Stockholm syndrome ? She tortured him for hours … hours … and even more hours … But it wasn't until Rem’s speech that Emilia understood why. 

Rem didn't leave him … only after she had been ambushed and forgotten, forcefully taken away, that she left him. Rem never left Subaru, and when he needed it most … during the tragedy of Betelgeuse Romani-contee … she offered him the space to talk. Held him in her arms. She was completely authentic with him … and Subaru responded with complete authenticity as well. If he had said that he’d love Rem … Rem would have enjoyed it … but not as much as his true declaration … that “I love Emilia” … it was the ultimate sign that Subaru was done running away. That he was being truthful with Rem just as she was being truthful to him.

Emilia : Rem … you’ve been a wonderful help to Subaru so far, I struggle to get believe we would have defeated Al if it weren't for you … but … 

Emilia took a sight … she didn't know what to say or how to say it … so she asked a heavy question. 

Emilia : if I told you that you hurt Subaru … how would you feel, Rem ? 

The question was heavy, specifically to Emilia who asked it … she knew Subaru loved Rem … and if this resulted in Rem not being with them, she would live forever with that sense of grief over what she did to the one she loved. From taking away the chance for him to stay with someone he loved nearly as much as her … truly at this moment … Emilia believed she was Scum incarnate.

Rem’s head dropped, she lowered her face, an expression of sorrow in her face.

Rem : I’d say that I guessed so … 

Emilia was surprised. 

Emilia : what ?


Emilia’s face softened, a look of surprise … no. … it was shock on her face. 

Rem : you probably didn't notice, lady-Emilia. But ever since you brought Subaru to the old Rosewall mansion … he always felt scared of me … 

Rem put a hand to her chest, tiling her head down, her face was that of someone who was just confronted with a hard truth.


Rem : it wasn’t until the events with Al, that I began connecting the dots … how Subaru knew things that he shouldn’t have known till that moment … those subtle shivers whenever I saw him … and If he was just like Al … needing to die to go back …


Her voice was cracking, truth is the maid was horrified, not just at the cruel fate that Subaru was subjected to … but also what that also implied. 

Rem : I thought if that was the case … when I first met him … and I thought he was a Cultist … Did I ? … Did I ever … such a thought … such a cruel thought …


Rem lifted her face to look at Emilia, her eyes moist with tiers that rested at the edges of her eyes, before getting on her knee’s.


Rem : lady Emilia ! Please … tell me … if you know anything  … Please tell me that Rem didn’t hurt her hero ! … please tell Rem that she can still love her hero … please … please don’t tell Rem that she killed her hero …


Rem said so, on the edge of tears, hoping that Reality wasn’t so cruel as to say that Rem killed Subaru … 

Emilia : I am sorry … Rem …


Rem : —hk!


Rem’s eyes widened … it was true … her speculation was Spot on … how many times ? How did she do it ? Why ? Where ? When ? How did he feel ? What did he go through ? Did Subaru really love her ? What about her sister ? Did she also do something to her hero !? No … if she did anything, it was to protect Rem …

Rem broke … she began to cry … the fact that something she tried so hard to deny was in fact true broke her … she couldn’t believe it … she didn’t want to believe it … yet it was true. Seeing this, Emilia had a solemn expression on her face.

Emilia finally spoke.


Emilia : Rem …


Rem : *Sobbing*


Emilia : raise your head Rem … Subaru doesn’t hate you …


Rem : liar … how could anyone love another *sob* … after they have gone through something like that … -sniff.


Emilia : I honestly don’t know … and I am in no place to condemn you … I killed him too


Rem : —hk !? a-and he still …


Emilia : yes … he still gives his heart to us … everyone … I don’t know how … but he still does it  …


Emilia had a feint smile on her face, to be drawn. He really was too good for this broken world … and it paid him no consideration … killing him at every turn. She vows to never let harm come to him again. 

Rem : then why … why does he love Rem … why did he never tell Rem about it … Why … Wh-


Emilia : he wasn’t allowed to … I … I can’t tell you why … I met that person and they had a good reason …

Rem Snapped … he could tell anyone … was someone threatening him ? Then why ? Why didn’t Emilia stop them ? Did she let them go ? 

Rem : and you let them go !? Why !? Why would you leave them when they are threatening Subaru-kun !


Emilia : no … it's because they were protecting him … if others found out about it … they might have used Subaru.  


Rem :  huh ?


Emilia : you don’t know … Subaru met many people who came close to figuring his power out … and they tried to use him … they wanted to do many things to him … he couldn’t say because it was the best for him …

Rem lowered her head again : then … what do we do now ? … what now ! You think a simple apology is enough !? “I am sorry” ? That's not going to make him forget ! That’s not going to make it up for what ever might have been done to Subaru ! What about the others !? What abo-


Emilia : I am not planning on a simple apology …


Rem : —!?


Emilia : I know I can’t make it up … I know I never will … but what I– … no what we can do … both of us Rem … he loves both of us … we can try our best to protect him … to try and do our best to make up for what we did … cus otherwise Subaru suffered for nothing …


Emilia looked at Rem with a determined gaze, and Rem looked back at Emilia, wiping away a tear … Rem returned the confident expression to Emilia, both exchanging a nod … from this moment onwards … it wasn’t a Rivalry between the two women for the heart of the man they loved … it was a camaraderie between two ladies … who swore on everything they held dear … that they will protect the man they loved for the best of their capabilities. 

「a few days afterwards … 」

Subaru and Emilia traversed the cold land of Elinor forest, the two walked through the heavy woods alone, it took quite the convincing for Beatrice to let go of Subaru, she agreed under the condition that the two would try to make it quick.

Subaru : So this is where Emilia-tan grew ? 

Emilia : in a sense … it was a small village that had its location hidden … 

They passed a part with many small houses.   The houses were completely covered in snow and bodies were frozen to the bone. It was these statues that made Emilia stagger back slightly. One statue was that of a mother protecting her new-born from a witch cult. Another was that of an elf escaping its life cut short by the freezing blizzard that was Emilia. Gulping, Emilia steeled herself before looking back to Subaru, who also looked at the statues with a solemn look. 

Emilia : Subaru, the Seal should be right up ahead.

Subaru : oh ! I am right behind you ! 

Subaru said as he hurried up behind Emilia.

Emilia : there we are … 

Emilia said as she stood next to Subaru as she saw that door, that seal …

Subaru : again … Emilia, if you don't want this … it really isn't necessary … 

All Emilia did was turn around and give Subaru a small smile. 

Emilia : I made a promise to a person … that I will bring you back here …


Subaru : back here ?


Emilia : it's a  … long story …

Emilia put her hand to her chest before a Key was manifested in her hand, upon which she promptly put the key in the lock, and before she knew it. That lock was dissipated into thin nothing. And the door of the seal was opened.

Subaru : I am guessing I’ll have to continue here on my own ? 

Emilia nodded

Subaru : well, I guess here goes nothing.

And so Subaru walked into the darkness before he saw a floating book.


Subaru : well, it's as obvious as it seems.

Subaru walked towards the book. It looked almost Identical to the ones that were at the Pleiades watch tower … a book of the dead … titles with …


“Flugel”

Upon opening the book of the dead, it was an experience similar to the book of the dead belonging to the first sword saint, however unlike that book. Subaru awoke in a Realm of shadows.


Subaru : —hk ?!

Subaru’s breath hitched, but hate was absent this time. Cus truthfully, he long since forgotten any feelings of hatred towards the woman who stood before him.


Satella : you’re … here … 

 


CHAPTER COMPLETE ! 



still tying up some knots ... nothing really to write here. 

Chapter Text

Satella : you’re … You're here … I … I know you probably have a lot to say … 

Satella said as she gently yet nervously stroked a strand of hair behind her ear before she nervously turned her gaze back to Subaru. Subaru stood silent, there she was … that person … that witch, that woman, that individual, the person who brought him here, the person whom he could blame for everything, the person who-

Subaru : Thank you. 

The Japanese boy bowed down, a traditional way of offering gratitude. This took the silver hair half elf somewhat by surprise… especially given what she has seen from the set raven haired boy who stood before her back in the castle of dreams. 

Satella : w-what ? 

Subaru : thank you … for allowing me to talk about it … for not killing Emilia … 

Satella : n-no … that's not- 

Subaru : and for showing me that I really do matter to the people around me. 

Subaru chuckled briefly, he couldn't help but to do so. How long now has it been since he had been in this world ? The answer to this question would be around 2 years now … yet Subaru didn't have the capacity to ponder on such information … if he kept thinking about them, who knows how bad his mental health could become. 

Subaru : now that I think about it … I never really had the chance to thank you after the sanctuary, …so please let me thank you now … 

Satella stood bewildered … she expected alot of things from Subaru … non of them included him thanking her … she expected him to act like he did in the sanctuary… lash out at her, hate her, condemn her, dispise her all of them and more …  yet what was this ? He was … thanking her ?

Subaru : I’ll admit … sometimes I absolutely hated this power. I won't deny it and neither do I believe I was wrong during those times … but this power really taught me a lot of things. Truthfully, I stopped viewing it as a curse … more as I gift you could say. It forced me to learn a lot of things really. 

Satella stood still, she was speechless … the witch ‘s expectations were blown away by the growth of the person who stood Infront of her. What was she going to tell him again ? She couldn't remember. 

Subaru : now that aside, how am I hear ? Last thing I remember I was with Emilia-tan back at the forest, and I opened this book and suddenly I am here. Is this like how it was with Gluttony ? 

Satella’s head came back to it's senses as soon as Subaru asked his question. 

Satella : well … sorta … 

Subaru : and by sorta you mean ? 

Satella : well, my body is still below the tower … it's inside the pleadies seal.

Subaru recalled that one loop … the moment where the stars themselves abandoned him and forced him to dig down till he found that seal 

Subaru : yeah ! I remember, that time only 2 lights opened up … back than I only had 2 authorities … I still didn't collect pride … 

Subaru said in a somewhat saddened tone, as of currently he wanted to free Satella … the one who no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake away the feeling of intense affection towards that woman … 

Satella : you don't have to feel sad about it … I think it's for the better … 

Subaru : w-what !? Why ? 

Satella : I think it's time for the world to move on from the witch of Envy. 

Subaru : but the world needs to know that it's not your fa- 

Satella : the world doesn't need to know, all that we need to concern ourselves with is that the person who caused such troubles is finally gone. 

Subaru : … 

Satella : Fl- … Subaru … 

Subaru looked up at Satella as she while facing the black haired boy, her feeling of affection being as high as her usual Incredibly high levels … 

Satella : thank you, Subaru for saving me …

Subaru stopped thinking for just a moment, before smiling back at Satella and pointing to himself with his thumb. 

Subaru : well, you can Always count on Subaru Natsuki to save you !

Satella chuckled at the statement of the raven haired boy who stood before her. It was one of the few things she never understood about her lover … both past and present … how did he do it ? How did he always manage to keep a smile on his face, depicted all that which he went through ? 

Subaru : so how am I here ? 

Satella : well … it’s kind of a long story … 

Subaru : trust me … we sorta have all the time in the world right now

Subaru crossed his arms as he looked at Satella.

Satella : … 

Subaru : … so ? 

Satella : n-nothing ! nothing …

Satella pulled out the same book witch Subaru opened earlier, the one that allowed him to enter into the realm of shadows in which he and the witch resided as of currently.

Satella : have a look at this … you should read it yourself. 

Subaru took the book handed to him by Satella before examining it… the book looked like the books of the dead back at the teygeta library. However, it was lined with golden engraving, a mixture of black and gold with some white leather spots on the book's cover. On it’s side, it spelled the name of someone Subaru didn’t expect : Natsuki Subaru (flugel). This shocked Subaru slightly. That bastard … that Stupid bastard that left Shaula alone in that tower for so long. No way could that be him. However, Subaru had learned that not every thing is to betaken at face value. There may be a reason he was forced to do something like this against his will. Especially given that someone like pandora was most likely the culprit behind these events.

Subaru : well this is weird … I remember my books were at the tower … and they didn’t half as fancy as this one. Nor did my name have another title on them. so is this like the same mechanisim with Gluttony and Reid ? 

Taking a deep sight, the witch. Kept her gaze fixed on Subaru 

Satella : well ... sorta. Flugel is a version of you, or rather, he is you from the past. There are other versions of this book back at the tower, 7 to be exact, that excludes your countless other books already there. 

Subaru : huh !? 

Subaru —starteled— only looked at Satella before blinking twice.

Subaru : Damn … I didn’t expect the multiverse to be real. But here we are. 

The boy said with a bewildered expression as he looked at the witch. 

Satella a… Multiverse ? 

Subaru : a realm of infinite possibilities, it a long story … but that still doesn't explain how I of all people can see you. 

Satella : its not just you. you're the only one who can commune with me when reading this book. anyone else will sadly recive the entire force of all your deaths since your arrival. 

Subaru : isn't that a little over kill ? I mean, doing so back at the tower already put a number on Rui ... I can't imagen the rest and nore do I even want to ... 

Satella : It was really a counter measure in case the book fell in the wrong hands ...  

Subaru : I mean ... well that's kind of a faire point ... might have been effective against pandora ...  

Subaru looked at the book continuing to examin it. it was quite thick compaired to the ones he saw back at the library of the dead.

Satella : I wanted you to have this with you when you first arrived … but given it was sealed, I couldn't even give you my assistance in anything 

Subaru : hey, don't beat yourself up over it for too long. I admit, now that I look at it, a quest log would have probably been the best thing to ask for. But I doubt there is a need for it now. 

Satella looked up at the boy with a puzzled expression 

Satella : a … quest … log ? 

Subaru : oh, yeah, forgot about it. You guys don't have video games yet. Wait did I not mention this stuff in my past life ? 

Satella : now that I think about … I don't really remember it that well. I do remember you brought it up, but I didn't really understand it.

Subaru : it's pretty much a glorified list of tasks. But anyway … what now ? Like apologies aside and all’at.

Satella composed her self as she stood before Subaru. It was quite a funny scene, the witch of Envy.

Satella : well, this is sorta tricky … we always planned for how to defeat Pandora … but I never thought about what was going to happen afterwards … 

Truthfully, Satella didn't expect Subaru to actually succeed in saving the world without killing Satella. He really did surpass her expectations. So now Satella was stuck in a situation where she didn't exactly know what to do. 

Subaru : well, I do have one request … 

Satella lifted her head up. If her lover has a request, she’d want to fulfil it to the best of her capability… Subaru looked Satella in the eyes, his face having gone from the casual happy-go-lucky expression he held at the start of this meeting to a much more serious one. 

Subaru : can you … send me back home ? 

Satella : w-what ? 

Subaru : don't misunderstand me ! I don't mean permanently !

Satella : n-no it's fi-

Subaru : I know it's entitled of me to ask, but only for a short while ! I want to meet my parents again ! To tell them that I'll be fine ! That they don't have to worry! I don't want this world to be a dream, nor do I want to leave everyone behind, and that goes for both worlds ! 

Subaru looked at Satella with Ernest eyes as he stepped forward one step. This was his final selfish wish, a wish that —if granted— would remove the final remaining bits of stress or self-hatred that had long since dwelt in his heart. Satella stayed quiet for a moment …

And then she smiled … 

As Subaru opened his eyes … he found himself standing in a road at night.

Subaru : eh ? 

He looked around … was this happening ? W-wait, what about the others ? What did Satella do ? Was this the actual world where he was ? So many questions, so little answers … 

He looked around … there was a conscience store behind him, Subaru rushed back in, what was the year he was transported in ? He didn't know … 

*Door slam* 

Cashier : goodness ! You forgot something, sir ? You just left a moment ago ! 

Subaru : I am really sorry for disturbing you this late, but could you please tell me what is today's date ?! 

Subaru had to confirm this, he couldn't be dreaming … 

Cashier : it's XX/XX/200X

Subaru gulped … 

Subaru : you said I just came it of here ? 

Cashier : uuuh, yeah ? You bought a bag of chips ? … 

Subaru : —(I am really back …)— … T-thank you … 

Subaru exited the store, and before he knew it, he was running. He ran … faster than he ever did, his eyes darting around every turn and looking for address. 

Subaru : no, not this one, not this one either … no, no, no … not you, nor you either … no, no, n- … 

Subaru : —hk!?

Subaru Found it … his house … his home … the place he was forced out of … 

Panting … Subaru walked closer … why was he scared … no fear wasn't the emotion he was feeling … in fact to say Subaru was feeling a single emotion would be a lie … he was experiencing an entire storm of emotions, happiness, joy, fear, doubt … this wasn't an illusion… or at least he hoped so …

Slowly … oh, so very slowly, he walked towards that door … it inched closer … closer … ever so close … lifting his hand, it trembled … surely his parents waited for him behind that door … 

With a deep breath and heavy heart …the knocked on the door.

Knock 

knock 

knock

“Oh ! He’s finally back … I was beginning to get worried” the soft voice of a loving mother was heard from the door

Subaru’s eyes widened … that's her … it's really her … 

The door suddenly opened, revealing who it was … 

Naoko Natsuki has opened the door for Subaru. 

Naoko : Subaru, don't you know it's dangerous to be out here this late at night ? 

the mothers gaze changed as soon as she saw her sons eyes that were field with a weird mixture of disbelife and joy ... 

Naoko : Subaru ? are you ok, dear ? 

Subaru : M-Mom ? 

Naoka : yes, dear ? 

Subaru lunged forward, embracing his mum in a tight embraced he desired very much, his eyes began watering, and he cried, the most honest cry he did in a while. 

Subaru : I … I am sorry ! I … I am very sorry … I … p-please … f-f-forgive me …

Naoko was shocked at the sudden hug from her son. Before, she gently returned the sign of affection to him. A hug filled with affection only a mother can provide.

Naoko : there, there … it's been rough for you hasn't it ? …

She smiled at her boy as he hugged her, hugging him back with a gentle affection only a mother could provide. 

Subaru kept crying as he held his mother tightly ... as if she'd disapear the moment he let go ... for that very brief moment ... it felt as if he was a little kid who woke up from a very terrifying nightmare, and yet now ... he can feel safe with in the comforting gentle embrace of his mother.