Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This is fucking stupid.

He didn’t even want this, but his bandmates and agency were pressuring him into getting therapy. Even their fans that swore they love him had been saying the same.

Tch, Thanos doesn’t do therapy. All he does is rap, drugs, and fun. Not boring therapy sessions with some therapist who probably didn’t even care about their clients.

He sat in the waiting area at the Sunshine Mental Health Clinic. Thanos scoffed and rolled his eyes, feeling silly for even just being here. A few people passing by, and even the receptionist, seemed to recognize him. The Legend Thanos strikes again, he thought to himself with a smirk on his face.

But he just couldn’t believe he was really doing this, didn't think he'd ever be doing this. Not again, at least.

The last time Thanos had a therapy session was when he was in high school, a few months after his parents found out about the drugs. They yelled and screamed at him, throwing insults and hurtful words by saying he was a "disgrace to the family” and “a disappointment”.

He tried his best not to bring any home since he didn’t want his little sister exposed to such stuff, sometimes avoiding her entirely and waiting until he sobered up and took a shower, just to be safe.

They took his drugs away, of course, but suggested therapy as a way for him to get better. He had reluctantly agreed and, eventually, actually began to enjoy it. That is until he found out that the “therapist” wasn’t actually a real, licensed therapist and, instead, was just a close friend of his parents in which they used so they didn’t have to deal with the confidentiality bullshit and found out what he was saying during the sessions through this friend.

Thanos freaked out on them, escalating to a huge argument, and ending up with him leaving and never coming back. In the past years, he’s only seen his little sister grow up through their mother’s social media to when she made her own account.

But just as fast as Thanos began spacing out, getting lost in his thoughts, a voice calling out had popped him out of his bubble.

“Choi Subong? Dr. Hwang is ready for you.”

He scoffed, but got up anyway. Thanos had hated his birth name from the very start, thought it sounded stupid and still does.

He walked just a few steps over to the door across from the waiting area as it was near. Why did the doctor have to make him wait? The hell was he even doing in there? Thanos thought to himself before opening the door.

Well damn.

The last “therapist” he had was some old guy in his late 40s probably, around the same age as his parents were when he was in high school. But this one… Thanos already knew the beat and the starting line of his new song.

Dr. Hwang had nice, short, curly, black hair (🤤need that), the most beautiful, soft features, especially his eyes (🤤🤤 need that), and the cutest glasses (🤤NEED🤤THAT🤤) CAN YOU FUCKING STOP

He didn’t usually do singing, always at his lane with rapping. But he didn’t mind making some non-rap songs here and there. And this beauty definitely deserved a non-rap for a first song.

Thanos snapped out of it when Dr. Hwang kept waving at him, saying hello to get his attention. He then put on his best smile, straightened his posture as he walked further into the room.

“Hello there-” Fuck, usually when he was flirting, it’d be with girls and he’d call them señorita. Shit, shit, shit, think fast, Thanos, THINK “- señorito.”

Oh, that’s… not bad. Good quick thinking, Thanos, could've been a scholar if I cared enough about school, he thought to himself as he nodded.

Dr. Hwang’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he let out a soft laugh at Thanos’ proud expression before gesturing down at the chair across from him, wanting Thanos to sit down as he sat in his own chair.

Thanos quickly complied and sat down quickly, then taking his boots off and raising his legs so he could sit crossed legged on the chair. Dr. Hwang didn’t seem to mind, wanting his clients to feel comfortable during their sessions with him.

“Okay, so first things first,” Dr. Hwang started, even his voice was nice, “My name is Hwang Inchan, you may refer to me as Doctor Hwang, I will be your therapist for as long as you need. What would you prefer I call you? Mr. Choi? Subong? Thanos?”

Thanos, of course, took this as an opportunity to flirt. “You can call me whatever you like, señorito. But if you’re really insisting, you can call me “baby”.”

God, Legend Thanos strikes once again. He mentally gave himself a pat on the back, feeling proud at how easily these pickup lines are coming to him faced with the prettiest boy he swears he’s ever seen.

Dr. Hwang laughs again and Thanos swears he just came in his pants at the sound of it. “I think I’ll call you Subong, if that’s okay with you?”

Thanos usually hated, absolutely despised when people called him by his real name. But hearing it from Dr. Hwang felt different. Just from that, especially from that, actually, he begins wondering how the man would sound taking his cock and moaning—

Woah there, Mr. Freak. You just met this guy, Thanos, and he’s your therapist, for fuck’s sake. But Legend Thanos does NAWT give a fuck, he does whatever the hell he wants. Fuck you.

And anyway, as soon as Thanos gets home from this session, he is absolutely jerking it to this guy.

The session goes great, especially with the knowledge that this new therapist is licensed, with a nice office with certificates hung around the room, not too flashy, and handsome as fuck.

He just couldn’t help but compare to the fake therapist he had in which the sessions were just in the guy’s house, which should’ve been suspicious to Thanos already, but he was a little too stupid back then.

Then as soon as the session ends (can you tell the author has never had a therapy session), Thanos stands up from his chair and stretches his arms with a groan.

“Well, I hope you enjoyed our session today, Subong-ssi. Thank you for choosing me as your therapist, I hope I can be of help to you now and in our future sessions.”

“No, thank you for being so wonderful, señorito. You know, I have a feeling I’m gonna be seeing you a lot.” Because he will be making every excuse under the sun just to see him. But is he gonna tell Dr. Hwang that? Absolutely not.

“Oh, well, hopefully not for bad reasons?” Nothing bad at all. Just slightly obsessed and very horny.

Thanos leaves that building happy, relaxed, and a little hard. The next few however the hell long he decides to keep seeing Inchan is gonna be fun.

Chapter Text

Well, that was certainly… something.

Inchan had never had a session with someone like Subong. Usually, his clients would be a little shy or timid, sometimes aggressive, filled with anger, or sometimes just nonverbal. He never minded them, they were his clients, after all, he’s supposed to help them. But Thanos coming in, talking so boldly and confidently, made Inchan feel something deep inside. He couldn’t exactly tell what, but it was something.

All he knew was that it could not be love, anything but that. He’d be seen as an incompetent therapist if he falls for clients like that. He likes his job, actually, he’s not willing to risk losing it for cute, funny, handsome, and hot Thano—What? No, Inchan, keep it together. You like your job, love it, even. That stupid, purple-haired, vaping, handsome- his client, idiot, isn’t worth risking losing his job to.

Inchan let out a deep sigh as he leaned down, his elbows resting on his knees, closing his eyes as he rubbed his temples. Just two more clients, two more and he can go home and actually think.

But while he's deep in his thoughts, a knock from the door brings him back to the present. He sits up, fixing up his suit before answering; “Come in.” The door opens and he sees Seungjoo peeking in first before fully entering the room. “It's that purple haired guy, wasn't it?” She says, more a statement than a question, her voice cool and her expression soft.

Goddamn it. She just always knew him, even better than he knew himself at times. It was a bit scary. Accurate, but scary.

Nevertheless, he would never admit to it because he's stubborn. “What are you talking about-?” He quickly got cut off by Seungjoo. “You know damn well what I'm talking about, Hwang Inchan.” Sigh. Why did she always have to… what was it? What did his one patient say? Clock his tea? Whatever that was.

Inchan stood up, taking his glasses off and placed them on his desk where he'd gone. “Seungjoo, do you need something or not?” He says, looking away from her to try and hide his blush. Both of them knew Seungjoo was right, but Inchan would never show it. He's always been this stubborn.

“Not really, no. Just wanted to check on you.” Seungjoo's voice suddenly becomes a little quieter, just above a whisper. “You know, Kibbeum told me your client left running with a boner.” Inchan's face becomes redder, more of a reason to hide himself from her, afraid to hear her relentless teasing.

Ever since they met in college, and their friendship blossomed, it has been a common occurrence for Seungjoo to tease Inchan in any and every way she can when she finds out he likes someone or someone likes him. Especially now that they're actual therapists now, seeing Inchan get the hot guys has Seungjoo gossiping with Kibbeum, the receptionist, first, before going into Inchan's office to subtly tease him at first, before obnoxiously just teasing him for it.

It's all just silly banter, but sometimes, Inchan just wants to hide in a hole and never come out. Sometimes, he wished he never told Seungjoo he was gay… But she's a good friend, so he supposes it doesn't matter, even though she makes him want to bash her head in at times. Again, just silly banter.

He clears his throat, trying to compose himself though still completely looking away from Seungjoo. “Shut up. No, he did not. Kibbeum probably just saw it wrong.” He rolled his eyes, his face still flushed. “And besides, what he does outside of our sessions, unless it's about his mental health, is not any of my business.”

Seungjoo scoffed, “Yeah, right. Why are you looking away from me, then?”

“It's hot in here.”

“Oh, so you're admit to having the hots for Mr. Thanos then, huh? Wait ‘till Kibbeum finds out about this—!”

“Stop gossiping and fantasizing about me and my client with her!” Inchan interrupted, finally looking at Seungjoo, his face still as flushed as ever.

“Bye, Inchanie~” Before he could get another word in, the woman had already left his office. He groaned in frustration. Practice your breathing, Inchan, it's nothing. Subong doesn't like you like that and you don't like him like that either. He exhaled, two more clients to go…

 ೀ

Thanos ignores his bandmates when he comes back home, beelining straight to his room. I think we know where this is going and anyway, the author is a girl with no penis (surprise), and therefore, no experience in jorkin’ it. So no, I'm not writing Thanos jerking off.

He scrunches up the tissues and throws them into the trash can, panting heavily. Thanos had never been one to discriminate in terms of sexuality, his motto is literally ‘If there's a hole, there's a goal’. But jerking off to the memory of his therapist is a new low for him. Usually, he'd have found the person's Instagram and beat his meat to that. But a memory? Really?

You really are getting pathetic, Subong.

How would Dr. Hwang Beautiful react if he found out about this? Would he be angry? Would he be surprised (probably)? Would he drop Thanos as a client because he's disgusted and disappointed? Thanos would die if that happened.

Anyway, on a lighter note, his bandmates and their fans were right, he supposes, otherwise, he would've never met the love of his life! Thank you, God, if you're there, thank you, my bandmates, I guess, thank you to my fans, and most importantly, thanks to… myself, because if I hadn't agreed to go to therapy, I wouldn't have met my señorito, he thought to himself smugly. Right.

Thanos stands up from his bed and into his bathroom for a shower, he reeks of sweat and his dick's still sticky with lotion. It's gross. And after standing in there with the water running for about an hour, he was all freshened up, dancing like MJ as he reenters his room to put some clothes on. He's momentarily forgotten what he'd done just before the shower, and honestly, he's fine with that.

And so anyway, a better way to distract himself further is writing more songs. And actually, with Dr. Señorito still in mind, he knew exactly what to write, even knew what he would call it, as well.

 ೀ

After a few days, his perfect song dedicated to the perfect man, all finished. Although, it would be embarrassing to tell Dr. Beautiful that “Hey! I know we met just last week, but here's a song I wrote for you!” in their second session ever.

But then again, Thanos knows no embarrassment. He's done more embarrassing things in the 37 years he's been alive than showing a therapist he likes, and who he also met once by then, a song, a romantic song, that he wrote about him.

…Okay, the more he thought about it, the weirder it was sounding. So maybe he shouldn't show Inchan the song. Maybe he should just release it and just never disclose who it’s about. But also, the fans will speculate and the discourse will never end until he gets his boy and will still have to wait for his permission to put their relationship on blast, while still keeping his Dr. Love of his Life's identity hidden. Or at least that's what Thanos thinks would happen as Inchan seemed like the reserved type.

But time for the studio, the place in which is pretty much his second room, staying there for days on end to record songs he’d written, to make some beats, or just to hang around since hey, he needs some time to himself too at times. He’ll often feel like he needs time away from the members, so that’s where he stays.

He grabs a bag and puts all of his valuables in there, which were just his electronics, a charger, his favourite vape, and his wallet, before heading out of his room. “Studio.” He says before the others ask where he's going, which, 9 times out of 10, is always the studio. Though, they still ask where he's going just to know when he doesn't come home on time, they'll know where to go.

Not something Thanos was used to, his parents never really cared about him, other than when he was smoking and using drugs. Anything to maintain their image. But he was long past that, he's got people who actually care about him now, his bandmates and all of their fans. It's a little hard to believe. His parents sit on the back of his mind, completely forgetting about them most times.

ANYway, enough about that. Thanos gets in his car, starts up the engine, and begins his journey. Something about going and being in the studio was so therapeutic to him. Was it the fact that he just loves making and putting out music? Was it the fact that he can be alone where no one can bother him? where he can be alone with his thoughts? Who knows. But also, he can think about and loudly talk to himself about Doctor Apple of his eye without anyone hearing him.

Yippee, he's in the studio now. He puts his belongings down on the couch and plops right down next to them, looking for the lyrics he had written and already forming the music he wants to use for it. Then he pulls his laptop out of his bag, pulling up his trusty music program and begins making beats.

It took, like, 2 days until he was finally satisfied with the finished product. And most of the 2 days he'd taken to make the instrumental, he's really thought about it… No, he's not showing Dr. Cupcake, where Thanos is the cherry on top, the song in their next session. He figured no one would actually care who the song was about. And besides, his band is famous as fuck. So he'll hear the song somewhere else anyway.

But oh no, what if Inchan asks who the song was about? What the hell was he supposed to say? ‘You, babygirl'? Oh, that’s not too bad actually— YES, IT IS. Remember, Thanos, you can't show someone you just met, who is also your therapist, a love song you wrote about them. That's a horrible idea and you might risk them dropping you as a client.

Whatever. He's seeing Inchan tomorrow, and as long as he keeps it cool and doesn't mention the goddamn song, he'll be all good.