Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kevin had an odd niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he’d seen the kid on the tape before. It wasn’t impossible, Kevin has seen tape on thousands of high school Exy prospects over the past few years with the Ravens. But he thought he would have thought he’d remember him and the way he played. He was raw and unrefined but there was something desperate about the way he played, like he needed it. And Kevin had found himself giving the statistically unremarkable player a second and third look.

His stats, the too short numerical review of his one and only season, weren’t anything special. He was the best player on his completely unremarkable team. He was one of the better Strikers in the state, actually. But his team's abysmal goaltender and mediocre everything else meant Neil could play his heart out and never amount to much. The note from his coach purported that the guy had learned to play from a ‘how to’ book of all things. He’d supposedly never picked up a racquet before the fall and Kevin would have called bullshit if not for the fact that his name didn’t appear in any of the little league databases he and Wymack had searched.

That was a natural on the screen if he’d ever seen one. He’d need intensive practice to be trained up to an acceptable level and a lot of coaching, but he’d be remarkable with enough time and effort. Kevin eyed Andrew where he was spinning in the other office chair and sighed. He was still waiting for Andrew to decide to live up to his own talent. Did he really want to take on another project?

On the screen Neil Josten ducked under a backliner's attempt to pickpocket the ball from his racquet and made a goal in the bottom left corner, just under the goalkeeper’s knee. It was either a fluke or a very impressive technical play. Kevin very much hoped it was the latter.

Andrew had confiscated the topsheet of Neil Josten’s package, the vague description of the striker’s potential home problems far more intriguing to him than the actual Exy-related material. Kevin found himself curious what kind of environment would produce a strong athlete who, by all appearances, had neglected to play a sport until his senior year of high school. He wasn’t curious enough to try and take the paper off Andrew though.

“Done watching the kiddy play his game?” Andrew asked, his words slurring that infuriating way they did when he was in the thick of his medication’s strongest hold. Kevin hated it. Andrew’s behavior off his meds was alarming enough to make Kevin nervous, sure, but Kevin found himself almost missing the ruthless frankness that he treated Kevin with when his eyes were clear.

“What do you think of him?” Kevin asked, knowing it was a crapshoot if he’d get anything out of him like this. Either way, Kevin was going to recommend they make him an offer as soon as Coach Wymack (his father but not his father) got back.

“I think Seth is going to break him on his first day.” Andrew answered, an insincere chuckle following his assessment.  Fair enough. Seth wasn’t going to take an untried rookie well. But Janie was gone so they were going to have to work with what they had. The fact that Neil Josten hadn’t been snapped up by a division 2 school from somewhere in the southwest was surprising. Hell, green or not, Kevin was a little surprised he wasn’t on UAZ’s radar for at least a partial scholarship.

Whatever, Kevin wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth. Neil would be a lot of work and Seth was going to make his life miserable, but Kevin just knew the effort would be worth it. Josten was fast and had good instincts and with a little (a lot) of work he’d go pro easily, maybe even Court.

Kevin absently brushed his tattoo, once a gesture to soothe himself and now something that just served as a reminder of how absolutely fucked his life had become. Kevin wasn’t a Raven anymore. Riko wasn’t waiting around corners to punish him for imagined slights. Kevin was working to build up his game with his non-dominant hand and the tattoo didn’t mean anything anymore. He’d be lucky to make it pro. He’d make Court on his name rather than his talent, if he did at all.

“I still think you should get that covered up, maybe a nice shrinking violet, yeah?” Andrew interrupted his self-flagellation and Kevin winced at the jab.

He didn’t object or correct him. Andrew knew him too well to believe him anyway. It wasn’t like he would ever be brave enough to do it anyway. Just imagining Riko’s reaction to Kevin erasing his claim made him shiver.

“I think we should go with Josten. McConnell is too slow.” Kevin announced, a transparent attempt to shift back to safer ground. Andrew spun his chair again, snorting and fiddling with the stress ball he’d found in coach Wymack’s desk drawer.

Kevin tidied his stacks of files and was relieved when Wymack made his way inside. “You decided?” Wymack asked, taking note of Kevin’s neat piles.

“Josten,” Kevin said firmly, like Wymack would just agree, like he hadn’t handed Kevin a stack of four options that didn't include Josten and told him to pick one.

Wymack pinched the bridge of his nose in an obvious bid to manage his temper, “Josten isn’t one of the ones I gave you.”

Kevin put on his best arrogant facade and held tighter to the file. “He’s the one I want.”

“He’s been playing less than a year. You expect the board to approve him?” Kevin could hear the fight going out of him already. 

“He’s a natural and if he’s this good after a year on a shitty team in Arizona I can make him great.”

“Oo-oh,” Andrew taunted, spinning in the other direction now, “Kevin has his serious voice on.”

Wymack shot Andrew a look as if questioning every decision that led him to sharing air with him and looked back at Kevin. “So you want me to promise them you’re going to mold him into a superstar?”

“He could be Court one day,” Kevin shrugged, trying not to shrink under the skepticism. He wasn’t a Raven anymore and wasn't in a position to demand anything. Being Kayleigh Day’s son would only get him so far. 

“You’re sure?” Wymack asked again and Kevin needed to clench his fists to stop himself from folding. Josten played like he has nothing to lose and Kevin was hungry for it. If he was reading the grainy footage right, this guy might finally be someone who could get it. All Kevin had ever been good for was Exy and he loved it, wanted to live and breathe it as long as he could.

“I’m sure. I want Josten.” Kevin nodded and avoided Wymack’s gaze, inevitably meeting Andrew’s instead.

His wide grin mocked him, “Yes, your majesty!”

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Arizona was hot. Andrew had been complaining since before they got on the plane and Kevin was one more snarky remark from making a breathtakingly poor decision and starting a fight. He and Andrew waited in the lounge and Kevin propped himself up on a table with Neil’s file spread across the space next to him. He reviewed the unremarkable statistics as if they could distract him from Andrew scraping a stolen racquet against the easily marked white wall, leaving slightly yellow streaks with each stroke. A commotion behind the door to the stadium startled him. A door slammed and there was the soft sound of running footsteps before the heavy door right by them burst open. A figure all but fell through the door and he didn’t even have time to look up before Andrew reacted.  Damn it.

Andrew’s racquet slammed into Neil Josten’s stomach and their new recruit went down immediately. Kevin sighed, so much for first impressions.

Wymack appeared in the doorway as Josten scrabbled at the floor, clearly trying to work breath back into his lungs. He shouted at Andrew, his admonishment having a predictably insignificant impact. He taunted Neil as he slowly crawled to his feet, breathing still labored, Kevin winced a little in sympathy. Andrew wasn’t known for his restraint. That must have hurt.

“Fuck you! Whose racquet did you steal?” Kevin blinked a little. Was this kid actually stupid? Did he not know who Andrew was?

“Borrowed,” Andrew taunted and tossed the racquet at him. Coach Hernandez stepped in to help steady his striker and glared around at the three of them. Kevin affected his best innocent expression. To be fair, he hadn't actually done anything.  This wasn't even the worst recruitment trip involving Andrew he’d been on. When he and Riko went out to recruit Andrew for the Raven’s the insufferable asshole had pulled a knife on him.

Wymack managed an exhausted sounding non-apology for Andrew and confirmed he hadn’t broken their recruit before they even got him to South Carolina.

“I’m fine. Coach, I’m leaving. Let me go.” Josten pulled against the hold his coach had on him and Kevin could read the familiar coiling tension in his shoulders. He wondered if Josten’s instinct would be to lash out or bide his time. He looked like a runner if Kevin had to guess.

Wymack interrupted his escape attempt and managed to kick the local coach out of the room, as if Josten would be more prone to listen to reason without his support. Kevin was just coming to understand that Wymack had given the offer and Josten had said no when an offhanded comment about them all coming out to Arizona being worth a five-minute conversation made Josten freeze.

“You didn’t bring him here.” Kevin felt his brows rise in surprise and shot Andrew a look, intrigued to find a more clear ‘what the fuck’ expression than he usually managed under the influence. Andrew shrugged. 

“Is that a problem?” Wymack asked Kevin’s question. What the hell did this kid have against him?

“I’m not good enough to play on the same court as a champion,” the pronouncement was so blatantly self-effacing that Kevin rolled his eyes. Sure, Josten needed a lot of work but he couldn't be unaware that he was talented. Why the fuck would he throw this chance away?

“True, but irrelevant.” Kevin snarked, wondering if he could get a rise out of the kid, bully him into just signing the damn papers. 

Josten whipped around to glare at him and Kevin’s heart stopped.

Seeing him in person it was so obvious that Kevin wanted to fucking kill himself. It might have been eight years since he’d seen him but he could see the child in his face, could see the too-strong resemblance to his terrible father.

Neil Josten was Nathaniel Fucking Wesninski. The eyes were wrong and it almost pulled him up short but the recognition in Neil’s gaze sealed it. Kevin heard the echoes of a man screaming, bleeding, dying. Kevin could feel his heart beating too fast, his breath fighting him to come in pants, body preparing to need a lot more oxygen in a hurry. He and Nathaniel shared a look of shock, denial, fear.

“Coach,” Andrew’s words barely pierced the rush of blood in his ears. “Give us a second, yeah? Let Kevin talk him into it. You know all these high schoolers worship the idiot.”

Kevin could feel the weight of Wymack's eyes and forced a press-smile that had gotten him through hell at Evermore. “Five minutes.” He confirmed, voice sounding steady enough to disguise the absolute internal eruption he was experiencing as Nathaniel Wesninski stared at him, still frozen in place.

Andrew locked the door behind Wymack and leaned against it, watching them, and grinning too brightly. He was entertained. Kevin was dying, was staring at a ghost, and Andrew looked like he’d never seen something so funny.

“Nathaniel,” Kevin started but his voice was like a starting gun. Neil was a runner. He turned blindly towards the door, skidded to a stop when Andrew just raised a brow at him and cased the room, looking for a way out. Kevin slid off the table and put himself between Neil and the other door. He didn’t know if there was a way out further into the locker room but he wasn’t letting Nathaniel just disappear until he knew what the fuck was going on. He had Andrew with him, even if Nathaniel had become someone dangerous in the intervening years he knew Andrew would keep him safe. They had a deal and even besides that he thought drugged Andrew might remember that sober Andrew seemed to like Kevin well enough. At least, sober Andrew sought him out more often than not.

“Nathaniel,” Kevin repeated, his throat working a bit better as he swallowed thickly, “What-”

“It’s Neil!” Nathaniel corrected and Kevin blinked in surprise at the vehemence. Okay.

“Neil, Nathaniel, Neil,” Andrew was humming to himself like some stupid tongue twister and Kevin blocked him out even as Nathaniel watched him warily.

“Fine, Neil, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Me? What are you doing here? Why would you come here?” Nathaniel shouted, accusingly. Maybe he was more of a Fight than a Flight after all. “If you recognized me-”

“I didn’t.” Kevin broke in, not sure why he felt the need to assure Nathaniel he had not done this to them on purpose.

“But you said my- you called me Nathaniel.” Nathaniel accused.

“I didn’t recognize you on the tape. I didn’t see your picture and the video quality-” Kevin cursed himself. He should have taken the damned top sheet.  But if he’d recognized him in South Carolina, then what? Would he have just buried it, pretended it didn’t exist? Just picked one of the other four options?  Probably, yes. “But now…”

“Now, nothing! I was never here, you never saw me. I’ll be gone by morning and-” Nathaniel looked at Andrew who was tilting his head at him like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Nathaniel looked like he was considering yelling for someone to help.

Kevin should just let him go. He knew who hunted him, or at least he could guess. If Nathaniel was alive after all then his father… Kevin shivered, that sadistic smile burned into his memory. He should let Nathaniel run.

“You,” Kevin swallowed against the tiny part of him that wanted to keep Nathaniel this time. The part that had seen him play both years ago and weeks ago. No, the sheer danger that would come along with that… “You should go. Run. We… we’ll say you said no and shred your file. I don’t know if your coach sent it to anyone else but-”

“Kevin, want to share with the class? Who's the Rabbit?” Andrew interrupted, the interested gleam in his eye spelling disaster. He’d looked at Kevin like that, when he got on the bus, shattered hand cradled to his chest, and Kevin had found himself encompassed in Andrew’s bubble ever since. He was happy about that, really. But Nathaniel…

“I’m nobody,” Neil stated firmly, glaring at Andrew and Kevin in turn. If it had been anyone else Kevin might have gone along with it. But it was Andrew. Whatever else he was, dangerous, unhinged, he was the one person Kevin had to trust.

“Natha- Neil is the son of one of the Moriyama’s enforcers. He was supposed to come to Evermore as a gift, like Jean, but his mother took him and ran. He disappeared before the Master could decide if he was worth the investment.” Kevin laid it out, bare of detail and Nathaniel looked almost as surprised as Andrew, though Andrew’s surprise was only really a situationally inappropriate laugh.

“No, I-” Neil protested, taking his eyes off the perceived threat of Andrew, and looking a little lost as he stared at Kevin. “My father didn’t work for anyone. He’s the Butcher!”

“And the Butcher is Lord Moriyama’s right hand.” Kevin wrinkled a brow at Nathaniel’s confusion. “Why did your mother run if you didn’t know-”

“Because we were running from him.” Kevin nodded and shared a look with Andrew who seemed to be Ping Ponging between him and Neil. That sharp, too interested, look hadn’t dimmed. Damn it.

“Maybe, but you should also be running from them.” Neil’s face was going through an odd constellation of expressions and Kevin watched in interest as he saw Neil process the information lightning fast despite his protests, absorbing new details and reframing his outlook. Kevin felt a little bad for him- this new information was likely the worst news the boy had ever gotten. “You should go. If we found you by accident-”

Neil nodded, seeming to need to tear his eyes away from him and Kevin wondered why it felt like both relief and loss at the same time. 

“Or, you could stay.” Andrew stated, shrugging when they both shot him incredulous looks.

“Did you miss the part where the Moriyamas are looking for him?” Kevin hissed at him, not in the mood for Andrew’s bullshit.

Andrew stepped away from the door he was leaning on and snagged one of the papers Kevin had left on the table. He rolled it absently into a thin tube before flattening it out again and repeating the motion ad-nauseum, the fidgeting was classic Andrew and Kevin knew he liked to use his hands while he thought. Kevin suspected that the more physically busy he kept himself the easier it was to think around the grip the drugs had on his mind.

He watched Neil watch him and laughed, “You’re not running, you want to stay.” Andrew gestured at the unblocked door his few steps had cleared a path too and Neil blinked at it in shock. He’d tracked Andrew’s motions and not even considered the newly opened exit. It was still locked, but Neil was fast; he might have beaten Andrew there.

“You could stay. Let Kevin whip you into a first-class striker. Become famous enough they can’t kill you. Work out a deal. Kevin says you’ll make Court, that’s got to be worth something to them, if only in sponsor money.” Andrew's suggestion was ridiculous. And yet- No. Neil should run. He’d be stupid not to. He wouldn’t live if he stayed.

“I can’t.” Neil protested and Kevin’s heart sank as he heard the weakness in the denial.

“If you run, you run forever.” Andrew shrugged as if uninterested in the outcome. “Maybe you’ll die anyway but Kevin seems to think you love this stupid sport.”

Andrew motioned to Kevin to leave and he had to force his feet to obey. He knew the second they left the room, Nathaniel, Neil, whoever he was would be gone and Kevin hated that he hated that.

“Think it over. Decide if running is worth it. Sign the contract.” Andrew shot over his shoulder as Kevin unlocked the door and let his friend/ protector shove him out of it.

Andrew Minyard used Exy as motivation to do something. The sky really must be falling.

Chapter Text

Wymack had been less than thrilled that they were leaving without a signed contract or at least an assurance that one would be faxed over shortly.  Coach Hernandez assured them that Neil spooked easily but he ‘had a good head on his shoulders’ and he would talk to him. Kevin was certain he’d never see Nathaniel or Neil or whoever he would be next ever again. He’d run, like Kevin told him to. And Kevin would try not to wonder if this chance encounter had signed his death sentence.

Andrew was characteristically evasive about what he thought. He bounced between teasing Kevin for being so obsessed, insinuations that Kevin’s interest was more than professional, questions about where the best place for their plane to go down on the way back from Arizona would be, and musing about if Nicky had remembered to stock up on ice cream for the Columbia house while they were away. Kevin stopped really listening about halfway through and Andrew’s rambling continued uninterrupted. It was nice, and Kevin surprised himself by actually being able to sleep for most of the flight home.

“Don’t you have a dorm room you live in?” Wymack snarked at Andrew when he inevitably followed them inside rather than getting in his car and driving back to Fox Tower..

“But Coach, I thought we were bonding.” Andrew gave an exaggerated pout but the lack of hysterical laugh or painfully wide grin made Kevin relax a little. Andrew was coming down. It was late enough that he’d be sober before he went to sleep. Kevin winced, sober Andrew was such a crapshoot. On the one, hand Kevin preferred it. Andrew was far easier to just exist alongside when he was himself and not the loopy version of himself. The rare easy silence between them only happened when Andrew was sober. On the other hand, Andrew was in pain. Coming down from the drugs was clearly miserable and Kevin hardly knew how to help. He’d never taken care of someone else. He’d wanted to. It had never been allowed, not really. Jean- well Kevin was pretty sure any comfort his presence might have once provided has long evaporated by the time he left the Nest anyway. Either way, Kevin was counting the days until Andrew would go into rehab and come out himself. He knew it wasn’t that simple but Kevin couldn't help but hold that scheduled detox as some kind of savior.

Kevin caught Andrew’s eye and shook his court keys with a questioning gaze. Andrew rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation but he didn't say no. Kevin hid a triumphant grin. “We’re going to the court.” Kevin announced absently, ditching his bag in the corner of the room he’d been stashing his belongings until Abby got back from her trip and he was granted access to her guest room again.

“It’s nearly midnight,” Wymack’s reply was half admonishment and half resignation. He didn’t say no and he’d already given Kevin keys so he just shrugged.

“Just for a bit,” Kevin assured him, ignoring the way Wymack rolled his eyes and waved dismissively at them.

“I’ll have him back before he turns into a pumpkin!” Andrew’s false cheer earned a snort of laughter from Wymack and Kevin only just refrained from joining him.

Andrew kept looking at him in the car and Kevin tried not to squirm under the assessing gaze. Kevin’s skin crawled as Andrew looked like he was fitting some sort of invisible puzzle together and was using Kevin’s face as a guide.

Still, as Andrew slid further into a sober state he kept his thoughts to himself and either didn’t know or didn't care that his stare was just amping up Kevin’s anxious need to run it out.

They’d been gone less than a full day and Kevin still sighed with relief while he pulled his padding and helmet on. Andrew was no doubt already napping in the stands and Kevin settled into himself, dragging a practice jersey over the sturdy pads.

Walking out onto the court was peaceful, the larger part of Kevin’s mind that was made up of worries and frantic plans and possible disasters went quiet and handed the reins to the Exy player. On the court Kevin didn't have to be anything but this. All he had to do was know the rules that had been practically born into him and let his body do what it was built for. Kevin chased a perfect game, pushed himself to a standard he was relieved he could never reach. If he was never perfect then he’d never be done. Kevin had thought he’d lost Exy and, even if he was terrible in contrast to how he’d been with his left hand, he was still better than he had any right to be. He could still pursue perfection. It would take longer to get anywhere close and that meant he would get to be this more and more.

That peace, the rightness of his body running a few warmup laps, the feel of the racquet in his hand (even if it was the wrong one) carried him through an hour of drills. His agonizingly slow-improving accuracy grated but it was improving, at least a little.

He felt Andrew’s eyes on him from time to time, no doubt just checking to make sure he wasn’t dead and hadn't had a breakdown on the court like he had the very first time he’d been allowed to play again, bad hand still in a brace. Part of Kevin, the part that was quiet on the court, wanted to be embarrassed about the show of weakness. But it was Andrew. Kevin was sure that if he asked him Andrew would tell him that embarrassment, like guilt and regret, was useless. 

Kevin was a lot of things. He was a coward and an obsessive asshole. But he was not useless. Not anymore. Not ever again.

Kevin wound down sooner than usual, Andrew’s eyes on the back of his helmet drawing his focus from the court in a way that Kevin begrudged just a little. If Andrew wanted to talk to him he could have done it in the car or on the plane. Still, if Andrew was still coherent enough to be drilling his gaze into Kevin’s head then maybe Kevin should take advantage of it. After all, Andrew might be the one on drugs but he… something about him managed to calm him down better than anything but Exy ever had. After the day he’d had- Kevin knew once the peace of the court drained out of him he’d be right back to obsessing over Nathaniel Wesninski who both was and wasn’t Neil Josten.

“Done worshiping at the altar of athletics?” Andrew drawled when Kevin dropped down next to him on the bleachers gracelessly after a lightning quick shower. His hair was dripping down the back of his neck annoyingly but Kevin ignored it. It was hot enough outside that it’d be dry by the time Andrew dropped him back at Wymack’s.

“It’s been a long day,” Kevin’s vague platitude obviously didn't impress Andrew as he only got a half growled exasperated sigh in reply.

“Neil Josten,” Andrew said, letting the fake name hang between them.

“Nathaniel Wesninski,” Kevin added, not a correction but a counterpoint.

“How long did he play at Evermore?”

“He was brought in for a tryout. He couldn't have been there for more than a day, at least not that I saw.” He’d wondered at that really. Two days didn’t seem like enough time for the Master to decide if someone was worth his time. Then again, he'd taken Jean sight unseen only a few years later.

Andrew snorted, incredulous, “So you knew him for a day when you were what, twelve?”

Kevin nodded. Put that way it sounded stupid. But it had been an impactful day. “We played with the summer league kids, me, him, and Riko. The Master watched and his second day was supposed to be a full day of coaching to see if he could take direction. We were excited, you know? Another kid, even if he was a couple years younger…Except..”

Andrew finished for him “Except his mother ran with him?”

Kevin nodded, remembering the fury in the Master’s eyes when he informed them that Nathaniel was gone. He winced, the phantom pain of racquet strikes against his back haunting him. “Yeah. And Riko wasn’t sad to see him go after we met his father anyway.”

“Hmm?” Andrew looked interested, Kevin winced a little at drawing his attention with a mention of Riko. Kevin tried not to bring him up. Andrew hated Riko and hated that Kevin had a hard time hating him entirely. He was working on it but it was so hard to remember that the boy Kevin had loved like a sibling at twelve was the man who’d tried to destroy him in a fit of jealousy. 

“We finished practice for the day and they brought us up to the East Tower and Nathaniel's father, the Butcher, was torturing someone. They made us watch.” Kevin took a steadying breath, heartbeat picking up as the memory clawed at the edges of his mind. “Nathaniel was so… he was scared too but… he stopped me from looking away, said his father would just be more mad if we were too weak to watch.” In his mind Nathaniel’s little hand slipped into his own, squeezing tight and lending against him as if to prop Kevin up in the wake of his suddenly shaky knees. The smell of the Butcher’s handiwork was in his nose and Nathaniel was whispering urgently. One of the worst days of his life and he couldn't ever shake it fully.

Andrew’s knee tapped against his lightly before retreating and Kevin blink back into the moment. He was watching him again, no overt emotion but the intense focus was something Kevin was getting better at reading. Andrew didn't give his focus to anything he didn't want to.  Kevin offered him a grateful smile and wasn’t surprised when he got nothing in return.

“Did you really not recognize him until we got there?” Andrew eventually asked, tone just as even as always.

Kevin blinked, surprised. “No, I didn’t see who he was until he looked at me. He-” Kevin couldn’t help but notice Andrew relaxing a bit at his confirmation and wondered if he’d missed something before powering through, “he looks different. He’s got colored contacts I think and definitely hair dye.”

Andrew didn’t reply but kept watching him as if waiting for Kevin to elaborate.

“He, he’s supposed to have blue eyes and I think his hair is more red, maybe auburn? He looked a lot like his father as a kid and he still does, at least other than the coloring."

“I assume the ‘neglectful parents’ Hernandez blabbed about don’t exist then?”

“His father is in prison last I heard. I assume his mother was with him. I- she’d probably make them run even if he wasn’t going to do it on his own.”

“Nah, he’s going to sign,” Andrew disagreed, a humorless smile on his face. It was more a bearing of teeth to be honest. 

Kevin shook his head. He’d never exchanged any words with Nathaniel's mother but if she’d managed to keep ahead of the mafia for eight years then she was too smart to let Neil bet his safety on Andrew’s harebrained scheme. Accidents happen to famous people all the time after all. Kevin was proof.

“Why on earth would you want him to stay?” Kevin asked, knowing he likely wouldn't get an answer. It was just as likely Andrew had told Nathaniel to sign to bother Kevin as it was that he was just vaguely interested in someone from Kevin’s past who wasn’t Riko. 

“I don’t,” Andrew shrugged, like he wasn’t the one who put the idea in all their heads. “You do.” And that was just blatantly wrong. Kevin had literally told Nathaniel to run.

“I told him to run!”  Kevin protested, incredulous.

“Yes.” Andrew agreed, looking vaguely amused at Kevin’s confusion. He was probably just riling him up for his own amusement but Kevin couldn't help but take the bait. Andrew knew how to get a rise out of him too well for such a short time together.

“So, what do you-”

“Kevin, you want him to stay.” His tone brooked no argument and Kevin snapped his mouth shut. He thought Nathaniel should run. Nathaniel should have disappeared the moment they let him go. Andrew was crazy.

And sure, maybe Kevin deep down did entertain a daydream of Nathaniel- Neil signing on as a Fox and taking his spot on the Striker line where Kevin could turn him into the player he’d planned before he knew who he was. He maybe liked the idea of getting to know the new version of the boy who would have been his friend. But that was just an idle wish and Kevin knew better.

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Abby’s return from her vacation was a bit of a godsend. Not that Kevin disliked spending time with Coach Wymack but, well… It was awkward. Actually, awkward was an understatement. Not telling the man who Kevin was to him was slowly driving him insane. From moment to moment he bounced between just blurting out the truth and the certainty that he would just never tell him. The more time went on the more impossible telling him seemed but also it seemed worse and worse to never say anything at all. If Jean could see him now he’d kick Kevin’s ass. Riko would probably just find it funny and remind Kevin that Wymack was better off not knowing.

He’d held David Wymack up as some kind of perfect ideal of a Father in his mind. It was hard not to. The man literally created a team whose whole ethos was giving talented kids who needed a second chance somewhere safe to try and make something of themselves.  He took in Kevin without a second thought. Sure, that was likely in honor of his dead mother whom the man had loved, but as far as Wymack was concerned Kevin should have just been a reminder that she’d slept with someone else. When they’d found the letter he, Riko, and Jean had made up stories of how it would go if Kevin told him. The stories usually ended with Riko reminding them all that if Kevin told Wymack then he would take him away, but even Riko couldn't ignore that Wymack would probably want to do right by him. The growing jealousy Riko had for the imaginary Kevin who told his father who he was had quickly put a stop to all conversation on the topic, but Kevin had still kept the letter like his most prized possession.

Kevin’s memories of his mother were foggier than he’d like. He knew he had a happy childhood before the Nest. He remembered her face and her voice and he had a million memories of them sitting together watching the European League Exy games. He had had a hard time squaring those soft memories with a woman who would lie to David Wymack about his own child. He understood her reasons but Kevin couldn't help resenting them just a little. In hindsight, once he’d survived the Nest and gotten free, Kevin couldn't help but think wistfully about a reality where upon her death David Wymack showed up to take him in. He imagined a childhood and adolescence where no one hit him or drove him past his breaking point relentlessly. He probably wouldn’t even recognize the version of him that lived that kind of childhood. The maybes and could have’s didn’t help.  

He’d settled on being someone Wymack could be proud of. He would help turn the Foxes into something befitting Kevin Day’s father and then maybe someday… well, maybe someday Wymack would love him for being Kevin rather than just Kayleigh’s son.

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Less than a week after their ill-fated trip to Arizona Wymack came knocking on Abby’s door.  In his hand was a familiar looking document and he wore a slight smile that made Kevin want to answer it.

“He signed?” Kevin asked, though it was obvious.

Wymack handed him the contact as he passed Kevin to make himself at home in Abby’s living room. Kevin scanned through the contract, the same one he’d signed only a few months prior. At the bottom there was Neil Josten’s signature. It was, inherently, a forgery with that name on it but still. Kevin had to stop himself from crinkling the paper as he held it tightly.

“Hernandez emailed it over this morning and said Neil would be ready to come to South Carolina any time after his graduation.” Wymack added as Kevin reread the list of provisions and perks- meal plan, dorm, equipment, small allowance for textbooks. “I was thinking of bringing him out early.”

Kevin couldn't contain his immediate enthusiasm for the idea and Wymack gave him a curious look.

“You think it’ll be an issue with just you guys? Andrew didn’t make the greatest first impression.”

Kevin snorted at the understatement, Andrew had assaulted him. “It’ll be fine. He needs the extra practice anyway.”

Wymack seemed unimpressed with Kevin’s attempt to play it cool.

Kevin released the contract, trying to remind himself that until Nathaniel was actually there it wasn’t real. He could still change his mind. Maybe he signed it to give himself a head start? If people thought he was delivering himself to South Carolina maybe they would wait for that rather than go directly to Arizona?

He needed to lower his expectations. Because, unfortunately, Andrew was right. Kevin thought Neil should run but Kevin wanted him to stay. He still had Neil’s tape squirreled away and, while he didn’t play it, he refused to lose it. Because if Neil was gone then this would be his only proof that Neil and Nathaniel both ever existed beyond his own lackluster memory.

“And you and him will be fine?” Wymack eventually asked, prodding Kevin. Kevin winced, he knew that anyone who knew him even a little would be able to tell he was weird about Neil Josten. He just hadn’t realized that Wymack knew him that well.

“I’ve met him before. I didn't realize it until I actually saw him again.” Kevin tried to keep him tone casual and could tell immediately that he failed.

Wymack’s brow rose, clearly he’d known something was up with him and Neil but he hadn’t expected that. That was fair, Kevin hadn’t exactly had a lot of contact with the outside world in a long time. “How?”

“He came to a clinic at Evermore when he was a kid. I guess he ended up quitting before he really got into little leagues since he isn’t in the database.” Kevin shrugged as if unconcerned. As if Nathaniel hadn't fallen off the face of the Exy world because he was running for his life. As if he wasn’t probably cursing Kevin’s name for ruining his life.

He felt unaccountably bold asserting the half-truth but he wanted a claim to Neil before he got there. If Neil was Kevin’s the way Kevin was Andrew’s then maybe things would be okay. Andrew had clearly already decided the amount of danger Nathaniel posed in close proximity was okay, at least for the moment. He wondered how much of that was Andrew finding it entertaining and how much was him thinking Neil would be a good distraction for Riko. Kevin wanted Neil there and Andrew knew it before he even did. Andrew’s reason for allowing it hardly mattered.

Kevin wanted a lot of things, it had never really mattered before. He hoped whatever quirk of his friend/protector/partner that decided to support Kevin held up. God but thinking about Andrew as his partner, in the Raven sense of the word, filled him with such longing. It was almost true. He and Andrew had a deal, Andrew stood by him, Andrew enabled his nightly practices, Andrew gave him an anchor. Kevin would never be able to repay him. He'd do his best, he would give Andrew whatever he needed to rebuild his life around when he was ready- Exy preferably. But the emotional intimacy of a partner… Kevin and Riko had known each other inside and out.  It wouldn’t have hurt so badly to have Riko turn on him in that final act of violence if he hadn’t loved him and believed Riko loved him back. But Riko wasn’t capable. Andrew constantly reminded everyone that he didn’t feel anything, drugged mania notwithstanding. Kevin thought it might be a lie but to try and ask for more when Andrew was already holding him up in so many ways felt… cruel.  Andrew wouldn't want to be saddled with Kevin that way. Sure, on the court Kevin was worth having but this, the mess he was in his own head? Never.

Kevin couldn’t latch onto Andrew the way he wanted to and he was going to have to try twice as hard to keep himself back from doing the same to Neil. 

Neil, despite being a foot shorter and entirely the wrong coloring made him think of Jean. The thoughts seeped out from the buried box where he’d shoved them months before. Guilt and horror and love and self-hatred threatened to break over him like a frozen wave. Jean was what Neil might have been except Jean stayed. Jean had been there, not his partner but as good as. And Jean had suffered for it. If anything reminded Kevin that being tied to him wasn’t worth it, it was the lingering reminders of Jean. Jean was in his nightmares, in the French he muttered to himself, in the footwork they had practiced so often it was muscle memory.

Kevin might be a coward and he might want things he couldn't have but he wasn’t going to be like Riko. He wouldn't be cruel. He would spare the people he coveted.

Chapter Text

Kevin installed himself in the passenger seat next to Andrew and refused to budge even when Nicky complained that Wymack had asked him to go get Neil.

“No fair, you two already met him! I want a chance to actually make friends before you all scare him off.” If it were anyone but Neil, Kevin was doing his best to avoid calling him Nathaniel even in his mind, Nicky’s complaint would probably be valid. As it was…

“Kevin is already best friends forever with him, you’re too late.” Andrew announced and then slammed his door on the confused looks of both his brother and his cousin.

Kevin snorted at Andrew's assessment and muttered, “More like I ruined his life.”

“Same difference,” Andrew agreed, no judgement or mirth in the words. Andrew choosing to be off his meds for this second meeting was a calculated risk.

Kevin knew Neil wouldn’t report him. There was no one less likely to go to the cops than someone on the run from the yakuza. But still, Andrew was unpredictable. Just because sober Andrew was the type of unpredictable that Kevin preferred didn’t mean it would go well with Neil.

It wasn’t until Andrew stopped and popped the trunk that Kevin finally noticed him.  

Andrew rolled down the passenger window, leaned into Kevin’s space, and shouted, “Josten!”

Kevin had been so focused on his mantra of ‘it’s not real until he actually shows up’ that seeing Neil headed their way threw him for a loop. He hopped out of the car, pasting on his most welcoming smile and tried to ignore how Neil’s eyes were scanning the airport pickup line like someone was going to pop out and attack. One of the many downsides of Neil’s apparent luddite tendencies was not having had a way to get in touch since the contract came back. Even that had been returned via his coach and Wymack seemed entirely too comfortable with not having any way to contract their would-be striker sub.

“Hey,” Kevin eyed Neil and his one battered duffle. “That's it?” Kevin wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t owned less than would fit in a duffle himself before he came to Palmetto.  Even now, Kevin’s accumulated clothing and books barely took up half the space Abby told him to make himself at home in.

Neil tensed a bit, looking at Kevin like he was going to get defensive. Kevin just shrugged, keeping up that ‘totally unbothered’ performance. He could feel the crack in it already. But they were in public and Neil could still bolt. He wouldn’t feel anything close to comfortable until they were back on campus, on the court preferably.

Kevin was also a little busy being thrown back into his memories when confronted with the bright blue eyes. For all that he’d known Neil- then Nathaniel- for a day it had been a rather memorable one. Nathaniel laughing with him and Riko and the silent terror on Nathaniel’s face as he kept Kevin standing when confronted with his father’s violence were both burned into his memory in equal detail.

Neil fidgeted, a nervous tell if Kevin had to guess and just offered, “Can’t really accumulate too much when you’re moving around and all my gear was school property so…”

Kevin nodded in understanding and motioned to the back door. Neil dragged his duffle into the back seat with him even after Kevin offered to take it so he jogged around and shut the still-empty trunk that Andrew had opened in anticipation of luggage.

“The elusive Neil Josten has graced us with his presence,” Andrew snarked, eyeing Neil in the rearview mirror. His attention caught on something in the reflection and Kevin thought he caught a wisp of surprise in Andrew’s expression. 

“Seatbelt,” Andrew drummed his fingers on the wheel impatiently until he was buckled and only jerked the car into a too-quick acceleration once he’d heard the click.  

“You knew I was coming. I signed the contract,” Neil defended as if Andrew had accused him of something.

“Kevin and Coach have been in a tizzy over getting your stuff all situated.” Andrew’s nose wrinkled, likely at the memory of having to drive Kevin to Exites three separate times.

Kevin felt Neil’s eyes on the side of his face and turned to hide the inevitable embarrassed blush. So he used preparing for Neil’s arrival as a way to drown his unholy amount of anxiety about said arrival, sue him.

Kevin refused to look back at Neil so whatever his reaction to that was he didn’t know. Instead the car sank into an awkward silence that made Kevin’s skin itch. Andrew was spending a worrying amount of his time looking at him rather than the road. Kevin could feel the goalkeeper’s eyes on his face even as he watched the trees whiz by too quickly where they bordered the highway.

As always, when things got too much to bear, Kevin fell back on Exy. “We’ll get you started on a schedule with those of us who are still here. You should be on your way to catching up by the time the rest of them get back. We picked up your practice-”

Andrew talked over him, clearly not interested in letting Kevin give Neil a rundown of the many things they’d gone to Exites to buy that now had ‘Josten’ and 10 embroidered or stamped on them. Naturally, his go-to when Kevin was falling back on Exy for conversation was to mock him for it.

“Ah yes, our lord and savior Exy. Exactly how we all want to spend our summer break.” Kevin rolled his eyes. They both knew that if Andrew really didn’t want Kevin practicing all summer all he’d have to do was not drive Kevin to the stadium. Kevin might enjoy being alone on the actual court during his night practices but the idea of being alone in the whole building, or worse going alone and then finding out he had company dressed in red and black- Kevin shivered. No. He’d stick with Andrew, like they agreed.

“You don’t have to-” Neil’s voice finally joined their back and forth, clearly about to let them off the hook for helping him. 

Kevin couldn't have that. Neil needed the practice and Kevin needed an excuse to find the edges of their would-be friendship of years ago. “Yes we do.”

Andrew sighed dramatically, “Kevin will be insufferable if he doesn’t get his court time. You’ll see. A few weeks locked in the court with him and you might just regret deciding to stop all that running.”

“Andrew-” Kevin cautioned. He had bounced back and forth between immediately addressing the yakuza-shaped elephant in the room or ignoring it and trusting that Andrew was right and being in the public eye would be enough for now. They weren’t announcing Neil until just before the season started anyway. 

“It’s fine.” Neil’s petulant tone didn’t bode well. Kevin peeked over his shoulder and saw a surprisingly sharp smile rather than the worry that was eating at his own insides.

“See Kevin? Your buddy Neil has a bit of a spine. Maybe you can learn something from him while you’re beating drills into his head.” Kevin could explain that in the Nest displaying any sort of backbone was the easiest way to wind up with carefully hidden bruises or worse, wind up with Riko taking it out on Jean. 

It wouldn’t matter. Explaining what the Nest had been like was impossible. Even Abby and Betsy mostly just reminded him he was out and he could ‘leave all that behind’. He should just try to ‘move on’- like a decade of living under Tetsuji’s gaze and in Riko’s shadow didn’t leave permanent damage.

Kevin hissed a retort, trying to keep a hold of the thread of conversation even as he felt the walls of the nest close in on him in his mind. “And you’ll be, what? Napping in the stands!”

“If you weren’t all so boring maybe I’d find something interesting enough to pay attention to.” Kevin didn’t want that to sting the way it did.

Neil, bless him, picked up the thread Kevin had entirely dropped. His confusion was clear as he asked Andrew, “What? You don’t practice?”

“Not if I can help it. Coach makes it worth my while during the season but it’s just too fun to say no to Kevin. He’s obsessed.”

Kevin scoffed. Sure, Andrew loved telling him no. No to joining the Ravens, no to actually trying, no to practicing with him at night. Neil had been a No too, though at least his made sense once Kevin got a good look at him. 

He could only hope Neil was less resistant to letting Kevin pull that talent out of him than Andrew was. Making Neil a strong enough player to go pro and maybe live safely in the limelight was something he could give him. It was a future. He just needed Neil to actually take it rather than throw it back in his face like Andrew did. 

“College athlete likes athletics. Someone alert the media.” Kevin defended. It was a weak deflection but Andrew’s tone had been more teasing than accusatory anyway.

“I think we’ve all had enough of reporters this year, don’t you?” Andrew’s dry humor didn’t dull the stab of guilt he felt. The spring semester had been a nightmare. From the moment Wymack announced Kevin's quasi-formal assistant coaching role as an explanation for his presence at Palmetto State the campus and the team had been relentlessly badgered by reporters wanting to get a sensationalist headline about his recovery, furious Raven’s fans causing trouble, and then more reporters who wanted to know how the vandalism and fights made him feel. He felt pissed off. And terrified. And guilty.

“No more reporters until the season starts. The ERC agreed to let us keep your name under wraps given all the bullshit that’s happened the last few months.” Kevin wasn’t sure if Neil actually already knew any of this. Wymack hadn’t mentioned speaking to him but maybe he’d passed it along via his coach in Arizona?

“Which gives us time to figure out how best to keep our newest Fox from getting himself killed.” Andrew’s grin was razor sharp and Kevin was a little impressed that Neil didn’t shy away.

Neil looked back and forth between him and Andrew and seemed to be considering something. Before he could decide whatever it was they pulled into Wymack’s parking lot and Andrew pulled into one of the abundant visitor spots.

Nicky was already jogging over to them by the time Kevin got his door open and Kevin shared a reluctantly amused eyeroll with Aaron from where he waited on the sidewalk like a normal person.

“Neil!” Nicky exclaimed, rushing over to him as soon as he’d slid out and pulled his bag with him.

Nicky went in for a hug and Kevin blinked as Neil looked to him wide eyed as if for help. Kevin was too slow and Nicky engulfed Neil’s smaller frame in a tight hug that Neil stiffly endured.

“Nicky, let him go. You’re going to scare him off,” Aaron chided.

Thankfully he did release him and Neil took an entirely unsubtle step back, far enough to be out of reach. 

“Kevin! You’ve been holding out on me!” Nicky complained loudly, turning an exaggerated pout on him for some reason.

Kevin blinked in confusion, eyeing Andrew for some clue and only got a derisive snort in response. Helpful…

Aaron approached and stopped far enough away to broadcast that he had no intention of touching the complete stranger in their midst. God, it was a terrible day when Aaron was making the best first impression. “So you’re Neil then? Nicky won’t shut up about how betrayed he feels that Kevin had other friends and didn’t tell us.” 

Right, Andrew’s fun little potshot right before they left. What had Andrew called Neil? His ‘best friend forever’? Kevin nearly snorted- he doubted Neil was overly happy to have met him now.

“Yeah, Aaron right?” Neil’s halfhearted smile would have been more comforting if he wasn’t shooting confused looks between the twins. It took Kevin an unforgivably long time to figure out what the issue was. 

Andrew was sober, right. It looked like Neil’s survival instincts were good enough to catch the wild difference in his demeanor for the last half hour versus their first meeting in Arizona.

“Let’s go in and drop off your stuff,” Kevin suggested, hoping to usher them inside at least before Neil asked why Andrew was breaking parole. Luckily, no one fought Kevin on his direction, for once. Neil stuck himself in the back corner of the elevator and Kevin wondered if he knew how much he looked like a cornered animal like that. Nicky, Aaron, and Andrew were chatting in German and Kevin tuned out the noise, turning to Neil.

“Good flight?” Kevin had never been great at small talk. Come to think of it, that was something he probably should have asked at the airport, right?

Neil raised a brow at him, seemingly startled enough by Kevin's lame attempt at conversation to show some actual personality through all that watchfulness. “It was fine.”

By some miracle the elevator doors opened before Kevin could do something ridiculous like comment on the weather.

Nicky was hyping up Wymack’s apartment, a futile cause when Neil had already agreed to stay in it and they’d already arrived. It was also total bullshit. It was fine but Kevin had spent his fair share of nights on that couch and Neil’s back wouldn’t be loving him after a couple weeks of it.

Neil hesitated heavily before going in and Kevin wondered if he’d be watching Neil’s every step for signs of flight for the rest of his time at Palmetto or if he’d eventually learn to trust that Neil wouldn’t evaporate like he did last time. He was beginning to regret not having the ‘let’s make a plan’ conversation on the car ride. 

Andrew had emphatically decreed that they wouldn’t be sharing any of the Nathaniel Wesninski ‘lore’ with Nicky or Aaron and left the decision about Wymack, Abby, and Betsy up to him. So far Kevin had kept his mouth shut beyond his half-truth about Neil coming to Edgar Allen for a ‘clinic’ once.

Nicky made a predictably poor impression as he stole some of Wymack’s left over meds and Andrew disappeared into his office. Kevin sighed, turning to watch Neil take in his temporary home. 

Honestly Neil looked a little penned in? He wasn’t scared, not really. Kevin was intimately familiar with what fear looked like even when someone hid it well. But he was clearly uncomfortable. 

Kevin was distracted temporarily by Andrew’s score of halfway decent scotch from the depths of Coach’s office. Kevin was reaching for it, ready to take the edge of the tense situation with a hearty swig when Wymack arrived. He and Andrew disappeared the alcohol between themselves in a too-practiced move. Andrew must be coming down hard if he was willing to risk taking the whole bottle like this. They needed to get to the court and get Andrew medicated and horizontal soon or he’d start getting sick.

Wymack handed Neil keys to the apartment and the Court after a familiar bout of grumbling and gruff good humor.  Andrew’s gaze caught on the passing metal on their way out. Kevin nearly dropped the bottle as he missed a step, looking at something in the moment more intensely than Kevin could rationalize.

Neil, now duffle free, finally joined them back in the hall a few minutes later, still examining his new ring of keys.

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Neil’s obvious excitement to see the stadium was gratifying. Kevin was so used to dealing with Andrew’s apathy that any proof that Neil felt as strongly about the sport as he did was a relief.

Naturally, Nicky ruined the purity of that excitement with a poorly veiled probe into Neil’s sexuality the moment they got to the door.

Neil’s “I don’t swing either way,” wasn’t a particularly encouraging response (because what did that even mean?) but the, “Let’s go in,” that followed at least gave Kevin some hope that they could get to the court sometime today. Kevin put aside any conjecture about Neil’s sexuality (Nicky would surely force them all to endure more conversation on the topic at some point and it couldn't matter anyway) and walked Neil in, pointing him to the right keys to get them through the locked doors between them and the court.

Kevin herded them through to the foyer and only stopped when Andrew installed himself on one of the benches and pulled out his meds, making an open-handed demand for the whisky Kevin still carried with him. Kevin felt his usual mix of relief and regret watching Andrew wash down the drug he needed but hated with alcohol that he knew was certainly not making the situation any better. He took a swig himself before pocketing Andrew’s meds unconsciously. It was always better for someone else to carry them when he was coming off a withdrawal. Andrew was not fun to be around if he accidentally took a double dose.

Neil watched the exchange intently and worried his bottom lip between his teeth before asking, “You were sober?”

Andrew, now reclined on the bench and minutes from passing, out deigned to respond. “Gotta meet the new recruit at least once!”

“We already met?” Neil rubbed unconsciously at his ribs. Surely the bruise would have faded by now but Kevin was sure he remembered their first meeting viscerally.

“Like this. Gotta get my eye on you without all the…” Andrew wiggled his hand vaguely in the air as if it meant something. 

Kevin copied to gesture and huffed an amused laugh as he met Andrew’s gaze to get a nod of approval. Granted permission (Approval? Agreement?), he nudged Neil to get his attention off Andrew’s slow decline into medication enforced unconsciousness. “Come on, let’s go in.”

Neil’s excitement about being in the stadium had been interrupted but he picked it back up immediately.

As the lights went up in the stadium Kevin watched with deep satisfaction as Neil looked at the court like he was hungry for it. He took in the court and the empty seats and the grin that split his face was… something. Kevin found himself looking away guiltily when Neil finally stopped gawking at the vacant stadium and the court’s open doors and looked back at him questioningly.

“Let’s get you kitted out,” Nicky suggested, enthusiasm clearly only heightened by Neil’s own excitement. Kevin easily tailed them back to the locker room and watched with an odd sense of satisfaction as Neil combed through the gear and clothing he’d spent weeks meticulously picking out for him. The only thing he hadn’t had a hand in, Dan’s ridiculous bright orange windbreaker, was still as much of an eyesore as he remembered.

Nicky gave the usual song and dance about how the Foxes were a bunch of overlooked misfits and how they paid it forward with their charity projects. Kevin was, in theory, in favor of the effort. After all, he was a beneficiary of the Foxes willingness to take in strays. But anything that distracted from the game was… dangerous. He’d do the required hours of community service and he didn’t care what the ticket sales went to as long as he could play.

Kevin exchanged a confused glance with Aaron when Neil took his practice uniform to the stalls to change out but shook it off in favor of getting himself changed.

“You’re coming in with us?” Nicky asked and Kevin wasn’t sure if he should be offended that there was a seed of dread in his tone.

Kevin just shrugged, pretending he wasn’t breaking his own rule. He had no interest in running drills with Aaron and Nicky. They were… fine, Kevin supposed. He liked them more as people than as teammates. Neither was really good enough to play beyond college and even then, Nicky was a weak link. Matt carried their back line. But it wasn’t just them today. Kevin’s usual rule of only playing when Andrew did seemed to matter a lot less when he was about to step on the court with Nathaniel for the first time in nearly a decade. 

He wondered idly if he’d have been as willing to break his own rules if Neil had really just been Neil, some promising striker from Arizona they grabbed when their first pick found herself committed.

But Neil was Nathaniel. And Kevin was far more invested than he should be.

Neil returned half dressed, an odd boundary when he easily changed into his bottoms and shin guards with an audience. Nicky made a production of pretending not to look and then fanning himself. Kevin briefly considered what Andrew would think if he punched Nicky in the face.

Kevin pointed out the right key for the gear room when Neil had finished dressing and Kevin repressed a grin as Neil inspected his racquets. He had badly wanted Neil on a Heavy and had fought Wymack on it for ages before just buying him both and enduring the chewing out the expense had caused. He understood Wymack’s point, Neil wasn’t ready to just walk into a game with Heavy tomorrow. But having him only practice with a regular racquet and then having him relearn the game with a Heavy in a few months felt stupid. He’d have him play with the light during the day and the heavy at night when Wymack couldn't yell at him for it.

Privately, Kevin thought if he pushed him just right Neil might be ready to play with a Heavy by the fall banquet.

“Heavys?” Neil finally asked after noticing he had two of each.

“Something to work up to. I want you on a Heavy as soon as we can get your accuracy up.” Kevin watched him twirl the weighted racquet skeptically and trade it for its lighter twin without comment.

The rest of them grabbed their own racquets with far less fanfare and streamed onto the court. Neil looked around and Kevin noted that Andrew had moved from the foyer to the first row of seats right by the home entrance. He looked dead asleep but somehow Kevin doubted it.

“So, since you’ve lowered yourself to join us mere mortals, what do you want to do?” Aaron asked, not at all affected by Kevin scathing glare.

Neil’s confusion got Nicky in on the action, “Kevin is too much of a snob to play without Andrew usually. You must be really good friends to get him to slum it with us.” Kevin’s stomach twisted as something sharper came into Nicky's expression, "Just how good of friends are you?”

“Nicky,” Aaron’s sigh was exasperated, toeing into disgust.

Nicky pouted and protested with a whine, “What, I’m just trying to get a feel for if there’s any competition!”

Andrew’s face screwed up further. Months in and Kevin still couldn’t really tell if that distaste was for Nicky’s too-aggressive bravado or for Nicky’s homosexuality in general. “Could you not? Or at least not where I need to hear it?”

“Well if you’d leave us alone to get to know each other a little better-” And Neil definitely looked uncomfortable now. No more of that pure excitement he’d had just a minute before. Damn it Nicky.

“Enough, Nicky!” Kevin hadn’t even realized he was going to yell before he did.

Nicky shut up and Kevin pretended not to see Nicky shooting a worried glance in Andrew’s direction. 

“Let’s run drills,” Kevin suggested (ordered).

He caught Neil watching him, or more accurately his right-handed grip on his own racquet, more often than he should be over the next hour. He heard Nicky and even Aaron offering him a bit of pleasantly surprised praise and Kevin was torn. Neil really was far better than he should be for how little practice he’d had (Kevin assumed there’d been no opportunity for Exy between their failed try out and Neil landing in Millport).

He was also woefully unrefined, needed more power behind basically everything, and relied a little too heavily on his admittedly-impressive speed. All in all none of that was all that difficult to fix. A bit of good coaching would straighten him out and practice would take care of the rest.

Kevin would start him on Raven drills at night and hopefully Neil would be where he needed to be before Seth came back to make normal practice unendurable. Kevin wished just one of the other fifth years would have stuck around for their final season. He didn’t even care that they’d been worse players than Seth, it wasn't like Seth knew how to breathe the same air as him without a fight anyway.

Neil’s performance flagged a bit as they set up an offense vs defense drill. Neil’s passes were missing the commitment he’d seen in his tape and he was leaving himself too open for Aaron. More often than not he wasn’t where Kevin needed him to be to make the next pass and he had to work to bite his tongue. Eventually his frustration peaked and he kicked the cousins off the court.

“I mentioned I wasn't good enough to play college Exy, right?” Neil’s expression was half sheepish self-awareness and half defense. Kevin stomped up to him and grabbed his racquet rather than his shoulder when Neil flinched a little. Kevin was frustrated, not angry. Neil didn’t need to be afraid of him of all people.

“You have potential, a lot of it. But you need work. You’re not up to the standard we need you to be. But you’re going to let me make you into the player you’re supposed to be.” Kevin worked harder to keep any real censure from his tone. He didn’t expect Neil to kill himself at an informal practice on day one but he expected more than he’d seen. If Neil didn’t kick it up he’d be less merciful next time. “Your game is mine, yes?”

Neil looked a little shell shocked and blurted out a “Yes” seemingly without meaning to. Kevin would take it. 

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Andrew’s educated guess about Neil’s scars made Kevin nauseous. He knew that Neil had wound up on Wymack’s radar somehow but it had been naive to think it might have just been his Arizona coach’s suspicion that he was sleeping at the school. Of course the son of the Butcher of Baltimore who’d been on the run for years had the scars to prove it. Kevin silently thanked Wymack for having the foresight to accommodate the need for privacy even as he found himself reciting the words he’d heard Riko spout too many times about stars not getting privacy. Neil glared at him and Kevin swallowed thickly, his own self censure mixing with Neil’s disapproval.

Riko was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. The little voice that reminded him he deserved it sounded too much like Jean in his mind.

By the time they all made it to Abby’s Neil was clearly agitated and trying in vain to take up as little space as possible, Kevin was fighting another rising tide of memories with a few hearty swigs of the whiskey, and Andrew had started pressing every button of Neil’s he could find to see what they did.

Kevin floated through most of dinner, the whiskey in his system dulling the edges of the way Nicky and Aaron sniped at each other. Andrew was in the throes of his mania and making it everyone else's problem. Wymack and Abby were in turns gruffly tolerant and affectionately resigned.

Neil was quiet.

“Well I guess we’ll see you tomorrow?” Nicky asked Neil as Wymack started making moves towards the door kitchen to clean up before they left.

Neil darted a quick look to Kevin but it was Andrew who corrected him, “Neil’s coming to night practice.”

“What?” Aaron’s demeanor shifted with the pronouncement and that more-pleasant-than-usual act he’d put on for Neil vanished.

Neil blinked at Aaron's abrupt turn in surprise and Kevin shrugged in shared confusion when he sent him a questioning look. Honestly, Aaron being nice to everyone had been freaking him out a little. He almost preferred the resentful tolerance he was usually treated with.

“He’s coming to Night Practice.” Andrew repeated, each word said slowly and enunciated within an inch of its life, like Aaron was hard of hearing rather than unhappy with what he heard for some reason.

The brothers devolved quickly into German and Kevin was distressed at how often his own name came though alongside Neil’s. 

Neil muttered under his breath, “I can skip if it’s going to be an issue.”

Kevin thought about missing the opportunity to put Neil through his paces and shook his head, “No.”

Neil seemed to want to argue but Kevin decided waiting for Andrew to tire of winding his brother up was a waste of everyone’s time. “Andrew, let’s go.”

“Go where?” Abby asked, the raised voices having called her back to the living room to mediate. The suspicion with which she eyes him made him feel unaccountably small under her gaze. Abby loved her Foxes but Kevin wasn’t sure she liked them all that much.

“Kevin needs to initiate Neil into the Exy cult under the full moon Abby!” Andrew answered, grin sharp and too full of teeth. Messing with his dosage to greet Neil sober was going to have him crashing in the middle of the night, joy.

“Night practice,” Kevin offered when she rolled her eyes with a huff and turned to him instead.

“Just you three?” Abby’s caution was unwarranted but Kevin wasn’t sure how to make her believe it. Andrew was only really a risk to people who overstepped his boundaries or meant his people harm. Kevin could help Neil navigate the invisible demarcation between safety and a knife pressed to delicate skin. The fact that Kevin should hold Neil in a reasonable amount of suspicion after years without knowing him was irrelevant. Neil was more likely to disappear on them than try and hurt them.

“Come on Abby, where’s your faith? Neil’s not being kidnapped, he wants to come with us!” Andrew would really be better off not talking. If Abby was uncertain about him she really didn’t seem to like Andrew. Her protectiveness over Neil was honestly a good sign for him- maybe she’d regard him more on the Dan-Matt-Renee side of the spectrum.

Neil shrugged when she turned to him, looking for confirmation of his willingness no doubt. “I’m fine.”

What a ringing endorsement.

Aaron scoffed and stormed off towards the guest room and Nicky trailed cautiously behind him. 

Kevin wasn’t sure what had sparked Aaron's sudden mood swing but just as soon as Abby unpinned Neil from her worried looks he wanted out of the house.  The tension was not helping and Abby had confiscated the whiskey so his buzz had faded.

“Do not scare him off!” Wymack ordered from the doorway where Abby’s absence had summoned him. The warning was clearly for Andrew but Kevin took it as permission to leave the incredibly awkward conversation.

“You scared Neil?” Andrew asked, a theatrical whisper carrying across the room rather than just the foot of so between them.

Neil rolled his eyes and reiterated, more firmly, “I’m fine.”

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Neil's enthusiasm for the court wasn’t dimmed by such a short interval between visits. He still looked around the stadium with a sort of wide-eyed longing. Kevin locked them in and nodded to Andrew who ignored him in favor of walking laps.

Neil was waiting when he met him at center court, holding the Heavy racquet a little awkwardly. Kevin mentally adjusted the gym routine he’d been planning for Neil to put on a little more muscle in his shoulders to manage the added weight. He’d have to ask Andrew- Neil was far closer to Andrew’s height than Kevin’s, he didn't know how much Neil’s leverage would suffer without the extra inches Kevin could rely on.

Setting it aside, Kevin set up the cones and walked Neil through the first Raven drill. Neil was an attentive student, and the way Kevin’s own shaky performance seemed to impress him was flattering. Kevin couldn't help but show off, just a little. His right hand was coming along nicely but he still couldn't run the accuracy drill perfectly on his first try. His left hand however…

Kevin held his racquet as loosely as he dared as he swapped hands and let muscle memory take over. The clean rhythm- grab a ball, throw, rebound, cone- echoed in the mostly empty court and Kevin couldn't help but glance at Neil who was watching him with such intense focus that Kevin had to look away. Kevin needed to get a grip.

He nodded to Neil and mercilessly corrected his form, the insufficient strength he put behind the throws, the way he shifted off balance when he heaved the ball. Neil’s warm regard quickly drained away and Kevin didn’t mourn it. By the time Neil managed to hit every cone- not in order or even all in the same run of the drill- Kevin knew he needed to let him rest. Neil’s body was telling on itself even as Neil kept that stubborn frown fixed in place.

Evidently Andrew agreed because he banged on the home door and met Kevin’s gaze with a significant look at how Neil was bracing his racquet on the ground as he leaned down to grab another ball.  Kevin nodded to Andrew as Neil’s rebound went wide again. Andrew disappeared back into the home tunnel and Kevin took that dismissal at face value. They were done.

“That’s enough,” Kevin called before Neil could grab yet another ball from the nearly empty bucket.

“But-” Neil went to protest and Kevin had to stop himself from laughing. Neil was exhausted and he still wanted to keep going. The relief that Kevin felt at Neil’s passion, his desire to play and improve, was overwhelming. He had talent and Kevin wanted to see it as badly as it seemed like Neil wanted to show it. But Kevin also wanted him to be able to use his arms tomorrow. 

“We’ll come back tomorrow- regular practice with Aaron and Nicky and night practice without them.” Kevin assured, amused to see Neil’s obvious desire to argue barely tempered by the promise of more time later.

Neil nodded and they split up to collect the scattered balls that had rolled to the edges of the court before heading back to the locker room.

Neil was, once again, jittery around the familiar ritual of showering and changing back into street clothes and Kevin didn't know how to address it. Kevin heard the swing of the locker room door as he washed off the remnants of a relatively mild practice (on his end) and didn’t realize he’d tensed until he heard Andrew whistling to himself. Kevin wondered if Andrew even knew he did that, putting in a bit of extra effort to make Kevin more comfortable. He’d mentioned exactly once that people coming and going from the locker room and not knowing who would be there when he got out made him nervous. It was a byproduct of finding himself alone with Riko a few too many times when he took an extra minute under the hot spray or worse, losing track of Jean because he was too slow. Come to think of it, maybe Neil’s discomfort made more sense- Kevin knew what it was to be vulnerable and have that vulnerability used as ammunition. 

Andrew was there, reclining on a bench as Neil scrubbed his shouldn’t-be-brown hair dry across the room.  Kevin, wondering if his own lack of modesty would bother Neil, changed quickly and dropped down next to Andrew to tie his shoes.

Andrew seemed to be methodically stripping the flaking paint off an old clipboard he’d found somewhere. Tiny flecks of orange and black stuck to his hands and Kevin could see the scraggly remnants of a fox paw that would no doubt be entirely picked away under Andrew’s attention.

“So, how are we going to keep our Runaway alive?” Andrew asked, not bothering to look away from his mindless task.

Kevin’s words escaped him. He had some thoughts- he knew Andrew did too even fi he was less of a planner than he should be.

“That is taken care of, actually.” Neil says, nonchalant like he wasn’t shrugging off being wanted by two organized crime families.

“Excuse me?” Kevin blurted, more like yelled, in surprise.

Neil’s answering grin was sly in a way that made Kevin swallow and turn to Andrew for something safer to look at, maybe even for some sort of backup.

“Explain,” Andrew’s order lacked the harsh sharpness it would have had if he were sober but the manic interest leant it a dangerous edge anyway.

Neil smothered the smirk that had Kevin’s stomach flipping uncomfortably with a hand and offered up the demanded explanation.

It didn’t make Kevin feel any less off kilter.

“Once I’d decided it was worth seeing if I could actually play, I called my uncle.” Kevin blinked, he’d gotten only bare bones of the Moriyama’s business but he didn’t remember the Butcher running a family business, in fact he thought the nepotism issue was half the reason they almost got Nathaniel in the first place.

Neil clearly caught his confusion as she interrupted herself to explain, “My mom’s brother. He’s got his own ring in England and across part of Europe.” Neil shrugged, like it was normal to have both sides of your family involved in organized crime. “We stayed with him for a few weeks after mom ran with me, to get contacts and make plans. He wanted us to stay but she was sure he’d come for us there first. She wanted to keep moving.”

“Runaways,” Andrew muttered before laughing to himself as if he told a joke.  Neil ignored the interjections and kept going.

“I had his number so I called him, filled him in on how mom died,” Neil winded and Kevin’s heart bled for him, ghosts of Kayleigh Day’s kind voice echoing in his own mind in sympathetic grief, “He wanted me to come to London, he was actually pretty furious when I explained what I was going to do…” Neil’s shark like grin was back, an odd mix of false-mirth and inescapable irony. “I asked him to get in touch with Kengo and see if there was a way for me to come in from the cold without winding up dead.”

“Wasn’t the plan that you become famous and hard to get rid of before they realized you were back?” Andrew drawled. He’d put the clipboard down at some point, Neil’s words more interesting than the slow destruction.

“Famous people die all the time,” Neil’s deadpan retort made Kevin flinch a little. It was true, sure.

“What did Lord Moriyama say?” Kevin asked, slipping in the formal title by accident, a decade of practice impossible to break especially in such a charged conversation. He ignored the censuring look that Andrew shot him.

“I get the impression that he was displeased that Stuart was sheltering me.” Neil winced but kept going, “Essentially the idea is I hold up my end of the bargain my father was planning to make, and I pay back what my mom stole since that was apparently their money not his…” 

“And what was that bargain?” Andrew asked at the same time Kevin protested, his thoughts having rushed to the inevitable conclusion about that initial bargain- Neil was supposed to be given to The Master… 

“You can’t go to Evermore! Riko will-” Kevin choked off whatever else he was going to say, not sure he could put words to it. He cradled his hand to his chest reflexively, rubbing at the thickest of the scars. His breathing hitched and Kevin bit down on the inside of his cheek. No.

Andrew whipped around to look at him rather than Neil and Kevin tried not to shrink under his gaze when Andrew’s eyes zeroed in on his bad hand. Andrew held out a hand, demanding and Kevin hesitantly gave him the ruined left one. Andrew ran through the flexing and twisting motions that had been a daily ritual during the early part of his healing. The motions were familiar and almost comforting. Andrew’s fingers were firm but even when they rubbed against the scar tissue they didn’t push hard enough to hurt, just to test the strength of the muscle and bone under them.

Kevin eventually managed a normal breath and tried to ignore the hot blush of shame at his falling apart in the middle of Neil’s story. “You can’t go to Evermore. If that’s the deal then you need to run- go to London. Don’t go there.”

“I’m not.” Neil confirmed. He looked a bit taken aback by the scene in front of him and Kevin wondered what the most surprising thing was? Him having a melt down over nothing or him needing to be taken care of like a child. So much for that esteem Neil had held for Kevin. Nothing like his anxious mind ruining a good thing.

Kevin couldn't keep meeting Neil’s curious-cautious-concerned expression. He watched Andrew finish the PT routine with his hand instead. That, at least, was a familiar study in conflicting feelings.

“Go on,” Andrew ordered, “What did you and Uncle Stuart promise?”

“The same as Kevin but my tithe goes to him, assuming I’m good enough to make pro.” Neil shrugged and Andrew’s hand froze on Kevin’s.

“Explain,” Andrew’s order was for him now. 

“I- well obviously I haven’t spoken to The Ma- Tetsuji since,” Kevin wiggled his hand in Andrew's hold, "But that was the deal before. He used a lot of resources to train me so I owe a tithe once I’m making money. Mine goes straight to him but Neil’s… Well Tetsuji never spent a dime on you. So yours is going to Kengo?”

“That’s what I gather. There’s the whole ‘prove yourself this year or wind up dead’ part of it that I think is just for me too.” Kevin’s stomach flipped at the lack of concern in Neil's expression. Not for the first time since Neil’s signed contract came back he wondered if part of Neil wanted to die. He wasn’t seeking it like Jean had but… that emptiness was a little too familiar. Kevin resisted the urge to grab hold and draw a painfully familiar promise out of him.

Andrew’s cool, “What?” called his attention back.

“Apparently I have a year to impress and prove that I’ll be worth the effort to call my Father off. If I end up sucking then I’ll-” Kevin didn't want to hear Neil talking about being killed if he couldn't perform. After all, he'd very nearly been taken out of the game himself by a Moriyama. It wasn't the same, obviously. But Kevin wondered if Jena would have resented him for making a promise he wouldn't have been willing to make in return. If Kevin had really been done, if his hand had been beyond repair…

Kevin’s voice was tight in his throat, “You won’t.”

“Right…” Neil sounded uncensored, disbelieving, why was he even there if he didn't believe Kevin?

“Well that’s that then. Kevin will mold you in his image and you can worship at the Exy altar together.” Andrew’s usual derision of Kevin’s love for Exy didn’t sting quite as bad when he sounded certain Neil would be sharing it.

Neil nodded along, accepting but still with that unconcerned skepticism that rubbed Kevin’s nerves raw.

“What do you think Riko will think?” Andrew asked, as if the conversation hadn’t sucked enough already.

“What does Riko have to do with anything? He’s branch, isn’t he?”

“He is…” Kevin allowed but flexed his still captive hand regardless. “He’s been known to not care for family assets like he should though.”

“Your hand,” Neil didn't even phrase it as a question.

Kevin nodded and then, guilt eating him alive at the admission, “And Jean.” Kevin answered the wrinkling of Neil’s brow, “He was property and Riko… Until this Riko took it easy on me because I needed to be in front of cameras but Jean.” Kevin nearly choked, “Jean got the worst of it.”

“He can’t run?” Neil asked and Kevin waited a breath for the obvious question of ‘why didn’t you bring him with you when you ran’ but it never came.

“He’s property.” Kevin flinched as he spat the word. Neil nodded slowly and Kevin felt Andrew’s hand tighten around his wrist where it had migrated once the hand exercises were done. “And if Riko finds out that you have a deal with his father… There’s no telling what he’ll do.”

“We can handle Riko fuck face.” Andrew’s certainty, tinged a bit with his mania, made Kevin feel absurdly better. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he’d made the unstable goalkeeper be his tether to his new life. Other times, like now, it was so clearly the right call that Kevin wondered how he’d stayed standing before him.

“How much do you owe?” Andrew asked Neil.

“Five million.” Kevin blinked at the sum and winced, that would be a hefty chunk of his future earnings. “I still have some of it, mom hid bits and pieces away just in case. I thought about picking some of it up so I could get ahead but they’re taking eighty percent of my future earnings so I may end up needing it.” 

“Sounds like you need to make a very expensive striker out of the rabbit, Kevin.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

For the three weeks until the rest of the team returned Kevin worked Neil harder than he should have. He still felt a little guilty about setting him up for failing in a shootout drill against Andrew. He’d lost his temper after a couple uninspiring practices in a row. Neil was letting Aaron box him in and, while he was visibly improving, he wasn’t aggressive enough to hold his own yet. The ‘lesson’ had been counterproductive regardless, Neil had needed to sit out a day practice and two-night practices because Kevin didn’t stop him from blowing his arms out.

He ignored the part of him that liked that Neil was willing to push himself that far. That part was too Raven and Kevin did a poor job of squashing it.

During day practices Aaron’s attitude didn’t improve, especially when Nicky pushed too far a couple days into their new routine and Andrew made Neil’s ‘off limits’ status crystal clear. Kevin was just glad Andrew had gotten there first. Kevin had been moments from a violent intervention himself. Aaron might have been overstating Nicky’s intentions a bit but the aggressive way Nicky flirted when Neil didn’t reciprocate at all made him twitchy. It was bad enough that Kevin watched Neil more than he should, he didn't need Nicky making things uncomfortable on top of it. Neil, meanwhile, just looked confused in a way that made Kevin want to shake him and coddle him in turn. Neither would solve the problem so Kevin ignored it, like always.

As May quickly came to a close Kevin got more anxious. He spent more and more of his free time bothering Wymack with ideas for drills and plays and hypotheticals about how they could set the team up to succeed against the rest of the district’s teams. Not only did Kevin want to win because he didn't know how to do anything else, but he also now needed to for Neil’s sake. Kevin’s name and reputation would likely let him weather a few embarrassing seasons on the Foxes but Neil was ‘nobody’. He needed to impress and to do that they needed to actually win some games.

During one of Andrew’s weekly sessions with Betsy Wymack dropped another bomb on him. 

“I need you to keep it together and listen to me, got it?” Wymack’s face was grave the way it had been when he sat with Kevin and stared down the x-ray of his broken hand. 

Kevin couldn't find words and just nodded his tentative compliance. He wished Andrew was there.

“I got a call from the ERC this morning. The Ravens put in a request to be moved to the Southeastern district and it was approved.” Kevin was underwater, hearing going dull and echoey, breath gone from deflated lungs, limbs heavy against the current. His body moved even as his mind drowned. Kevin was knocked back into his body by a heavy hand shoving him into the rolling chair in Wymack’s office. The pilling upholstery scratched against his livewire nerves and Kevin fought to rise again. He needed to go- needed to- Riko was coming for him-

“Damn it Kevin, I said sit down!” Wymack’s hand kept him seated despite his struggle and Kevin felt his strength going out of him, his breaths too shallow to support the flight his body wanted.

“I won’t!” Kevin didn't even know what he was objecting to? Sitting? Accepting reality? Going with Riko when he inevitably came for him? “How could you let him do this?” Kevin asked, knowing even as he said it that Wymack couldn't have stopped this.

“I don’t have any say in this and you know it.” Kevin did know it. It made it worse somehow. He squirmed enough to get out of Wymack’s hold and flew to his feet/ He needed to go or run or pace or something. He made for the door, mind not grasping much beyond the desire to run. Wymack caught him, trapping him against the wall and trying to get Kevin to focus on him. “Hey!” The shout startled him and Kevin lashed out, hand catching a stack of folders and collected junk on one of the filing cabinets. He winced at the sound of glass, the part of him that wasn’t panicking trying to find the words to apologize but not being able to speak. 

“Look at me, god damn you, and breathe.” Wymack’s order was accompanied by him releasing his grip on Kevin and Kevin couldn't find the thread of calm his father had offered him. 

“I warned Andrew he was going to come for me. I told him!” Kevin’s nightmares played in his waking mind and one of the newer additions flashed behind his eyes for a moment, amping his terror to new heights, “Neil!”

“What about him?” Wymack asked, clearly thrown off by Kevin thinking of anyone but Riko at the moment. He wouldn’t be if he knew… oh god. Riko was always going to be a risk to Neil’s ability to earn that deal with Lord Moriyama but if Riko was in their district, if he figured out who Neil was… Kevin felt ill.

“Riko is going to make me go back and Neil…” Kevin didn't even know what he was saying. “Wymack, I need to be here okay? I can’t… I need to be here or Neil-”

“Neil what?” The question wasn't from the perplexed looking coach but from Neil himself, standing uncertainly in the doorway, eyeing the way Wymack was cutting Kevin off from the only exit like he might intervene on Kevin’s behalf.

“Neil,” Kevin wasn’t sure if it sounded as much like a sigh of relief to everyone else as he thought it did but Wymack shot him a look of pure confusion and moved to let Neil into the tiny office.

“What’s going on?” Neil asked Kevin, ignoring Wymack who had started kicking the shattered remains of a glass to the side so no one cut themselves.

“The Ravens are coming south, joining our district.”

“Fuck,”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?”

“Okay? Fuck no- Riko will-” Kevin gulped in air, “He, I thought he let me go after this,” Kevin held up his hand and continued, “But if he’s coming south then- he wouldn’t do it for no reason. If Edgar Allen buys off my scholarship-

“We would have to agree for that to matter. You want to stay, you’re staying.”

“If Riko tells me to go, if he hunts me down-”

“Then I imagine Andrew will need some sort of alibi- Andrew, you remember your psychotic guard dog? You really think Andrew is going to let you out of his sight?” 

“You’re assuming any of us have a choice in this!”

“Look, the ERC is holding off on announcing until June so we have everyone on campus. I’m meeting with Whittier this afternoon to talk about beefing up campus security again. I’m not saying you don’t have any reason to worry but-”

“Why would they do this?”

“Kevin?”

“No, why would he do this? Why would The Master-” Kevin hissed at his own slip of the tongue. It wasn’t the first time Wymack had heard it but the title still burned in Kevin's throat. He believed Wymack. He believed it was happening but he didn’t understand why. If Tetsuji wanted him back he would have simply ordered Kevin home. Kevin would have gone. If the order had come before Neil showed up then he really would have gone back, Andrew or no Andrew. So what was Tetsuji trying to prove?

Kevin patted his pocket, grabbing his phone and twisting out of Wymack's reach as he tried to stop him. “What are you doing, Day?” Wymack demanded.

Neil took a conspicuous step between Wymack and Kevin and Kevin lost his train of thought for a moment, eyeing the way Neil watched Wymack like he was some kind of threat. Like he needed to keep him from Kevin. Kevin fought the wave of hysteria that threatened to overtake him.

He dialed Jean’s number from memory and his heart cracked in a too-familiar way when a tired sounding voice rasped, “What?”

“Jean?” Kevin’s voice was a bit choked but Jean clearly recognized it.

“Kevin,” the tone was cold, suspicious in a way Kevin knew he deserved. That was offset by the familiar French that followed, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“You’re coming South. Why- why would Riko-” Kevin couldn't even form the stupid question correctly. He couldn't blame the language- his French was clumsier than Jeans obviously but he knew the words.

“The Master wants to use the spectacle of your comeback. He doesn’t think you’ll ever measure up to what you were before.” The words were harsh, clinical, Jean not bothering to soften them. Jean hardly owed him the courtesy anyway. Kevin was a little surprised he’d answered. 

Kevin didn’t know what to say in response but he mourned the missed opportunity when there was the muffled sound of voices on Jean’s end before he added a curt English, “Do not call again.” before hanging up.

Wymack had left the room at some point and Kevin met Neil’s curious gaze. “You speak French?” The language coming out of Neil's mouth was enough to startle him into a nod. Neil’s small smile took some of the weight off his shoulders. “We can bother the others when they start going off in German.”

The mischievous grin startled a laugh out of him. That was something he supposed. “We could use it on the court too…” Kevin threw it out jokingly before really considering it. Actually, that wasn’t a half bad idea.

Wymack returned with three glasses which he shoved into their hands despite Neil’s clear protest. Kevin downed his, ignoring the burn. Neil looked at his own before eyeing Wymack and traded his full glass for Kevin’s empty one, letting Kevin repeat the process with his portion.

“Now I need you to promise me you're not going to do something stupid like tell Andrew. I told you because you needed to know and Josten apparently invited himself to our conversation,” Neil looked entirely unapologetic about stumbling across their secret, “but the last thing we need is Andrew flying off the handle.”

Neil’s brow furrowed at Wymack’s words and he turned to Kevin with a n expression that practically screamed ‘disapproval’. That was rich coming from someone who hadn’t even told his coach his real name.

“Of course we’re going to tell Andrew,” Kevin bit out. Andrew would kill him if he didn't tell him. And it wasn’t just him now either- they needed to figure out what Riko sniffing around would mean for Neil. Riko would be at the banquets and they would have to play him at least once during the season… If Kevin could recognize Neil, so could Riko.

“Kevin,” Wymack went to argue but Neil interrupted him.

“Andrew is just going to be pissed if you don’t tell him. I’d rather have him pissed at Riko who is three hours away than pissed at me.” 

Wymack sighed, “Listen, Neil, there’s things about the Moriyama’s that you don’t know. I was planning to hold off until you got settled in but you should know that Tetsuji and Riko-”

“Are part of an organized crime family? Yeah, I know.”

“You told him?” Wymack turned on him, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Kevin hated how familiar he was with that reaction from Wymack.

“He needed to know,” Kevin muttered, not willing to spill Neil's secrets if he didn’t want Wymack to know.

Wymack looked like he was barreling past frustrated towards anger and Kevin felt the alcohol burning in his gut like it was trying to eat him alive. He turned his angry gaze on Neil whose hurried step back couldn't be mistaken for anything but panic. All of a sudden the fight went out of him and Wymack slumped defeated and waved a cutting gesture towards the door. “Do what you want, I can’t stop you anyway.”

Kevin wanted to go back a minute, promise to do what Wymack asked, wanted to be good for once.

Andrew didn’t take the news well. Kevin drank about it.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Nicky practically bounced down the aisles of the drugstore towards the haircare section and Kevin wondered once again why he was there. The news of Riko’s inevitable involvement in their lives in a few short months hadn’t altered Neil’s plans at all. He’d asked the four of them (three really given Aaron was busy pretending Neil didn’t exist when he wasn’t actively glaring at him) to help him dye his hair back to something resembling his passport. His British passport.

Nicky had been thrilled to find out that Neil was technically also English- his mother’s status granting him birthright citizenship. Nicky didn't need to know that it was Neil’s uncle who’d gotten the paperwork mysteriously backdated and misfiled to give him first a record under his birth name and then a legal name change to ‘Neil Abram Josten’.

It was, technically, a real identity. It had been processed by a government official and filed with the right authorities, those authorities just happened to be in the mafia’s pocket. Still, unless someone knew exactly where to look Neil could go about as himself legally. He’d even been dragged to the administration building by Andrew to get a student visa application on file. Neil had been furnished with a bunch of paperwork and a copy of the rules if he eventually wanted to apply for US citizenship. Neil had seemed to be seriously considering it the last time Kevin checked.

The picture on Neil’s passport showed a blue-eyed Neil with slightly more Auburn hair- not quite the deep reddish-brown shade he remembered but something closer- Kevin bet someone had doctored a photo Neil sent them at some point. 

Neil had ditched the contacts at some point before leaving Millport, that first glimpse of his bright blue eyes had been arresting at the airport, but his hair was still that odd monochromatic almost-black brown. He could, technically probably get by continuing his dye job. People dyed their hair all the time after all and they didn’t update their IDs every time. But Neil mentioned something about the maintenance being annoying and Andrew had begun his campaign during his sober moments to get Neil into ‘redheaded stepchild’ shape before the rest of the foxes showed up.

Nicky had been the obvious choice for help- Neil had flatly denied going to a hair salon and Nicky had apparently had a love affair with vivid hair dye while in Germany before toning it back down when he came to take over as the twins' guardian.

Kevin still wasn’t sure how he got roped into going along except that Andrew was with Betsy and Neil had looked less than thrilled by the idea of an outing alone with Nicky. And just like that Aaron had stormed off and Kevin was getting in the car.

Nicky debated with himself over about six different shades of reddish-brown dye and finally piled two different shades and a bunch of ‘essential’ supplies on the counter in front of a bemused looking teenager.

The actual dying process was less smooth.  Apparently to make it look natural Nicky wanted to do most of it with one shade and add ‘mini highlights’ of the other. This all involved a lot of touching Neil and Neil needing to sit still, and Neil needing to wash his hair after a color remover and a bleach. By the time they actually got to the adding color part Neil was vibrating in the seat and Kevin couldn't help but sigh in relief as Andrew made his return.

“Are you torturing the poor boy, Nicky?” Andrew drawled from the door, eyeing the bleach-stained towels and Neil’s oddly blotchy and unnaturally orange looking hair. According to the instructions which Neil had started reading out loud to try and calm himself it was normal for dark hair dye to leave ‘warm tones’ underneath. Kevin wondered if maybe they should have just waited for Allison or Renee. It didn’t look great and he wasn’t sure dye was going to help the issue.

“If he would just sit still,” Nicky complained as he turned Neil’s head to face front again.

“How about you take a break? Before you give him a panic attack maybe?” Andrew suggested though his tone wasn’t all that pleasant. Nicky stepped back as if slapped and held up his hands to decry his innocence.

Neil’s immediate relaxation at his personal bubble being vacated was so blatantly obvious even Nicky could see it and Kevin could see a bit of guilt pass his eyes. Nicky hadn’t actually done anything wrong. Neil had even asked for his help once it was clear his plan of bleaching his head and covering it with the cheapest auburn dye he could find was not a good idea if he wanted to look normal.

“You look like a candy corn,” Andrew observed, pointing at the off bands of color varying between orange and yellow and the odd spot where the bleach got him too light.

“I should just buzz it down,” Neil muttered before running his hands through his damp hair and shaking his head, “Can we keep going?”

Nicky approached more cautiously, eyeing Andrew in the doorway. He picked up where he left off, albeit a bit more carefully, with their new audience.

An hour later and half of Abby’s towels were a lost cause, the entire sink and shower would need a gallon of bleach, and Neil’s hair looked normal enough that Kevin thought most people wouldn’t notice the way the color was inconsistent. 

“Renee can cut it shorter when she gets here. The ends are the worst part.” Nicky offered, tugging at the slightly crispy ends.

Neil turned away from the tug and grimaced at his reflection.

“What, don’t like it? Did we go with the wrong color?”

“No. It’s pretty close actually.” Nicky couldn't know why Neil seemed so upset about that as he took in his own reflection but Kevin did. Neil really did look a lot like his father.

Chapter Text

Moving into the dorms was a relief and wasn’t that ironic? Years trapped in the nest, living dorm life and, when presented with five months of significantly more autonomy, Kevin was eager to go back to a grey box with three other bodies in close quarters. 

It’d been nice over the summer having the cousins rooming at Abby’s as well. When Kevin slept these days it was like the dead, no doubt his body trying to make up for more than a decade of raven days. But actually falling asleep- that was harder. Having someone else breathing in the room was enough to trick his mind into believing this was normal. That person being Andrew made something in him unclench. Kevin had enough self-preservation instincts from the Nest to know that despite the way Andrew was every inch coiled violence and unpredictability none of it was going to spill out over him. Andrew was dangerous but not to Kevin, not unless Kevin did something inexcusably stupid and hurt Aaron or, god forbid, Andrew himself.

The guilt of using his new teammates to try and fill the ragged hole where Riko had fit ate at him. His mind had walled off the ‘good’ Riko from the ‘bad’ and Kevin struggled to remind himself they were the same. The boy who’d helped him steal his mother’s letter was the same one who had enjoyed telling him he was replaceable. The boy who had been the only one to hug him in the years between his arrival at Edgar Allen and Jean’s was the same boy who’d broken his hand. He was the same boy who hurt Jean. Kevin shook off the thought, crushed thoughts of Riko back down where they belonged and guiltily pressed all thoughts of Jean back into their own sad corner.

“Come on Andrew! Move your foot!” Nicky’s complaint only earned him a blank stare from his cousin. 

 Kevin eyed Andrew as he shoved the couch into place even closer to the TV. It sparked even more complaining from Nicky about the ‘optimal distance’ from the TV. Kevin was pretty sure Andrew was just doing it to mess with him, it was working if Nicky’s increasingly piercing whine was any indication.

“It’s too close! We’re going to go blind.”

“I like it here.” Andrew’s deadpan made Kevin pat his pocket for Andrew’s meds. He was coming down again. He’d need to dose up before the meeting. Kevin didn’t want to risk making Neil’s first impression of the team any more complicated than it already would be. He suspected that Neil already being ‘in’ with Andrew was just going to make the upperclassmen more wary of him. 

He supposed it didn’t matter all that much in the end. Seth was too much of an asshole for Kevin to bother trying to work with him. Dan and Allison, while annoying, were professionals on the court. Renee was Andrew’s friend, though how that worked Kevin had no idea. The real toss-up was Matt. Matt hated Kevin. Kevin wasn’t exactly sure why, he was the player whose skill Kevin had the most respect for after Andrew, but he’d taken offense to Kevin's existence as an assistant coach in the spring semester and Kevin didn’t have the energy to try and figure out what he’d done to earn that animosity. He also didn't really care… Matt played well even when the entire backline was full of people he hated.

The real question was how Matt and Seth would be rooming with Neil. If it got bad Kevin would insist Neil sleep in their room- his playing hadn’t suffered for a month on Wymack’s couch after all. It wasn’t like there was anyone they would be willing to trade to put with Seth and Matt. Nicky was a no for obvious reasons, Andrew wouldn’t allow him or Aaron that far out of reach, and Andrew himself would end up killing the striker within the hour.

Across the room Andrew abandoned his game of messing with Nicky in favor of jimmying the window screen and pulling out a cigarette. Kevin fought down the urge to tear into him. Andrew didn't care about Kevin’s lectures. Kevin was now distressingly familiar with how little any argument that Andrew was slowly killing himself meant to the goalkeeper. For now Kevin bit his tongue and stored up his arguments for the day when Andrew was off his meds.

With Andrew done antagonizing Nicky, the rest of move-in was quick. They didn’t have all that much stuff between them, only taking a couple trips back and forth between Abby’s and Fox Tower. They were mostly unpacked and contemplating a grocery run before Neil even showed up.

It had itched at him, knowing Neil was waiting around at the court alone, or at least without company beyond Wymack. He didn’t get why Wymack wouldn’t let Neil just move in. It wasn’t as if ‘the monsters’ hadn’t had access to him for a month. Wymack had seemed conflicted when presented with how well Neil got along with their little group. Sure, Aaron hated Neil for whatever reason but Aaron wasn’t openly antagonistic in a way that really mattered. Kevin had braced himself for having to argue for continued access to Neil but the coach had eventually given up and mumbled something about not getting paid enough to pick people’s friends. 

Andrew, from his position by the window, perked up a little and announced, “Boyd and Neil are here.”

Kevin leaned out the window alongside him, as if seeing them for himself would change something and huffed when Andrew grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled him back a bit.

“I’m not going to fall,” Kevin protested when Andrew stubbed out his cigarette and reattached the screen.

“Don’t tempt me,” Andrew muttered. He didn’t move away from the window though and he didn’t move Kevin away beyond that one step away from the supposed danger. They listened to Nicky clattering around in the kitchen, reorganizing their meager kitchen stuff as they watched Matt and Neil make a few trips back and forth between Boyd’s truck and the entrance of the dorm with a few minutes between each trip.

Nicky eventually caught sight of them watching the proceedings and joined them, noting jealously that it looked like Matt had gotten a new couch.

“What’s in the bag?” Andrew asked, clearly noting the same as Kevin that Neil was apparently lugging that duffle he’d moved into Wymack’s with along on each trip.

“Hm-” Nicky hummed curiously, “Is that the one he asked Wymack to lock up for him?”

Kevin noted the way Andrew’s gaze turned a little too sharp, curiosity more hungry than idle. He hoped Neil knew that his privacy was time limited. 

Privately Kevin agreed with that look. He was curious and wanted to see whatever it was that Neil was so protective of. Whatever Neil was defending he wanted access to, wanted to jealously hoard more of the picture that was ‘Neil Josten’. 

“Can we go snooping?” Nicky asked when neither of them responded to his musing.

Kevin’s frown echoed across Andrew’s face. Of course Andrew should also know whatever it was but Nicky’s nosiness could fuck off. 

When the pile of Matt’s belongings had dwindled to nothing, Kevin’s stomach made the unpleasant cramping feeling that reminded him he hadn’t eaten yet.

“Grocery run?” He asked Andrew, earning a shrug from him and an enthusiastic agreement from Nicky who rushed off to make a list. “I’ll get Neil?” Kevin asked and when Andrew didn’t answer he took a better look at his expression, looking for something to guide him. The tight lines around Andrew’s eyes made Kevin wince and he fished out the pill bottle, handing it over.

Andrew eyed it warily but took it from him after a long moment and dry swallowed one of the stupid pills.

“Tell Nicky he has to drive on your way out.” Andrew instructed, retreating to the bathroom, and shutting the door with a nap. Kevin felt himself wilt under the stress in Andrew’s tone and did as he was told.

Two doors down Kevin stopped and knocked on the dorm Matt, Neil, and Seth would be sharing. The muffled sound of a voice too deep to be Neil made its way through the thick wood door and Kevin heard the plot of heavy footfalls approaching as he schooled his expression into something vaguely pleasant, trying to start the interaction off the neutral territory. Unsurprisingly Matt’s frown was less than welcoming when he opened the door to see Kevin on the other side of it.

Matt was the best player on the team with Kevin still working through his injury, he received the least straight criticism from Kevin during the spring while he was playing ‘coach’. Still, either Kevin’s attitude towards the rest of their teammates or his connection to Andrew had firmly slotted him in the ‘enemy’ column. Kevin admittedly hadn't done much to fix it- Boyd played well, that was all Kevin needed from him. Except now- now he needed to be let in so he could get Neil.

“Kevin,” Matt’s cool greeting was better than a door slammed in his face he supposed. “What do you want?”

“Is Neil here?” Kevin asked, eyes looking over his broad shoulder and catching the still-surprising shock of auburn hair coming out of their room.

Matt turned to follow his gaze and pointedly didn’t move out of the doorway. “Do you want to talk to him?”

Neil looked between him and Matt confused but didn’t let that stop him, “Yeah, of course.”

Matt clearly didn’t love that answer but he finally stopped playing gargoyle and left enough space for Kevin to not need to talk over his shoulder.

“We’re going to the store, want to come?” 

“Sure,” Neil shrugged. “I need to get some stuff anyway. Give me a second.”

Neil retreated to his room and Matt followed after him, leaving Kevin lurking in their doorway awkwardly.

Matt didn’t even bother trying to whisper, shooting Kevin a suspicious look over his shoulder as he trailed after Neil. “You don’t need to go with them. You could come to the airport with me if you want. We could swing by the store on the way back-”

Neil’s exasperation was clear, Kevin guessed this was probably not the first example of Matt’s dislike for ‘the monsters’ in their short acquaintance. “Matt it’s fine, No use making two trips.”

“Neil-” Matt’s protest was more than a bit condescending at this point. Kevin was kind of surprised Neil wasn’t pushing harder. He had no trouble pushing back against him in practice. Kevin had been incredibly relieved the first time Neil had given as good as he got and still finished the practice smiling at him.

Neil reemerged from the room and Kevin caught his gaze. Neil rolled his eyes in exasperation and Kevin smothered a chuckle in return as Neil responded, more firmly this time. “It’s fine, promise.”

Kevin kind of hated how much he liked that Neil was so sure about that.

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Grocery shopping with Andrew was always an exercise in holding his tongue. There was a distressing amount of ice cream and candy in the cart. Kevin’s stack of vegetables and protein bars looked ridiculous sharing space with diabetic nightmare. Nicky and Aaron’s snacks and frozen burritos were at least somewhat nutritious. There were vegetables listed in the ingredients and none of the packages had more than 50% of the daily recommended amount of sugar or salt.

Neil had picked up a basket of his own at the entrance and filled it with store brand granola bars, coffee, and what looked like half the fresh fruit selection available in the produce section. Kevin admired the prioritization of ‘actual food’ and glared at Andrew even as he opened a bag of gummy worms and started snacking on them in the store, clearly unconcerned with Kevin’s judgement.

It was going relatively well until Andrew jerked the basket out of Neil’s hands and put the whole thing into the cart.

“I can carry it,” Neil protested, reaching to retrieve it, and frowning when Andrew jerked their cart out of the way.

“People who look homeless get free food.” Andrew declared and Kevin didn’t bother to hide his startled laugh at the affront on Neil’s face. Andrew wasn’t wrong. Neil was in D1 athlete shape but he looked like a twig in clothes far too big for him.

Neil’s indignant “I have money!” just earned him a skeptical eyebrow raise.

“So you like the homeless look?” Andrew mocked.

Neil’s chin jutted out, stubborn glare in place despite the lack of heat behind it. “Maybe I do!”

“Good for you, no one else does. We’re buying something your size so you don’t embarrass us.” Andrew steered the cart towards the clothing section and ignored Neil’s protests as they passed by homewares and kids toys, Aaron and Nicky abandoning them at the electronic section.

Neil eventually seemed to accept his fate as he sighed and stopped protesting just grumbling something about it being stupid that you could buy food and clothes in the same store.

Neil reported his size to be at least two sizes too large and Kevin rolled his eyes, grabbing something more in line with his frame and tossing it at Andrew to hold up alongside the shirt he was already measuring against a miserable looking Neil’s back.

Andrew and Kevin weeded through the dubious quality clothing offered at the superstore and managed to accumulate a handful of casual clothes that would actually fit him.  Andrew was tending towards a lot of blues and Kevin mentally agreed, they’d look good with Neil’s eyes.

The only clothing Neil didn’t look actively antagonistic about them adding to the cart were a few pairs of running shorts that were made with some sort of soft material that he kept rubbing between his fingers.

They reconnected with Aaron and Nicky in the seasonal section that was overrun with ‘dorm essentials’ and exhausted looking parents trailing after freshmen. Nicky mimed eating popcorn as a middle-aged couple argued in the aisle full of trash cans and Tupperware and Neil snorted a laugh.

“Oh honey but you need fourteen sets of sheets! If we don’t get you this magical comforter you will surely die!” Nicky dramatically waved a set of sheets at Neil in the bedding aisle after watching a mother drop half the aisle into the cart much to her daughter's chagrin.

Neil shoved him out of the way good naturedly and grabbed an ‘all in one’ bag of bedding with a scoff. “If I don’t buy you this pillow how will you know we love you?” Nicky’s falsetto followed them out of the aisle with a laugh.

The only thing Neil actually seemed to spend any time checking was during their trip to the office supplies as he picked up a personal safe. He ignored the intense stare Andrew shot him and Kevin assumed Neil was buying a solution for whatever was in that duffle.

By the time they took their overfull cart to checkout Neil had negotiated his ability to pay for his dorm supplies and the running shorts he actually liked. The food and the rest of his supplemented wardrobe went on the belt with the rest of the cousin’s and Kevin’s things. 

They divvied up the bags in Neil’s still-empty room, Aaron and Nicky retreating back to their dorm with the food they’d picked and leaving Andrew and Kevin to help Neil dump his new belongings in his room once they’d managed to locate every food item that had gotten mixed in with everything else. The teenager checking them out had packed the bags like he had a vendetta against organization. 

“Going to show us what this is for?” Andrew kicked the edge of the box the safe came in lightly.

Neil hesitated for a long moment, exchanging an oddly charged look with Andrew before sighing and yanking the bottom drawer of his dresser open and pulling something out from under a mess of faded clothing.

It was a binder. A binder with a lot of him on it. Like pictures of him, and a few of Riko, must mostly him… what the fuck? Kevin wasn't sure what his face was doing but Andrew’ eyebrow had risen nearly to his hairline in surprise and Neil was beet red.

“So a stalker book?” Andrew probably would have managed to be amused at the awkwardness of the moment even without his unnatural mirth.

“I- It’s-” Neil’s stuttering explanation petered out after a single word.

“Kevin you have a superfan!” Andrew was clearly delighted by the situation and Kevin was still trying to figure out what was going on.

Neil protested Andrew’s accusation loudly “No!”

“No?” Andrew asked, too much teeth in his grin. “So it’s a hate-stalker situation?”

“NO!” Neil protested again, flustered in a way that was distracting enough to tear Kevin’s attention away from the binder and back to him. “It’s a decoy.”

“A decoy?” Kevin found himself asking.

“All my documents and my emergency stuff are in here. The pictures are for- camouflage.”

Oh… that actually made a little sense. It certainly didn't look like that. 

Horrifyingly, Kevin felt a little… let down? God. What was wrong with him? Kevin was not disappointed. That would be insane. He did not want Neil to be an obsessive stalker. 

“And you couldn’t just use class notes or something? It had to be Kevin and Riko?”

Neil shifted uncomfortably and just shrugged in response and Kevin barely resisted the urge to press on that discomfort.

Neil pinched the bridge of his nose. “It being weird and creepy was the point.” He sighed and avoided Kevin’s gaze as his blush managed to get brighter. Fascinating. “Besides, I was following you and Riko in the news anyway.   was so jealous of you, kind of obsessed with your career. I guess I kind of latched on to you and Riko etc. I knew- I didn't think I’d ever- I figured if I couldn't have it anymore at least I could kind of live vicariously through you?” Kevin blinked dumbly at the admission, still a little too focused on how embarrassed Neil was to fully take in the new information. “I was so jealous when Jean went to Evermore.” Kevin flinched at the name but thankfully neither Neil nor Andrew noticed.

Neil flipped to a page that was a bifold of an article from the first game of his freshman season and pulled a piece of paper that looked like an insane word-search filled with random numbers interspersed with letters out from behind the panel that had Kevin’s press photo printed dead center. 

“My Uncle’s number is on this-” Neil explained a complicated method to deciphering his mother’s handiwork and Andrew picked up the sheet when it was offered. Kevin relaxed a little- once Andrew knew it he would know it forever. Hopefully they’d never need it but it helped to have just in case.

“Just-” Neil started and then swallowed thickly, “Don’t call him unless it’s actually an emergency? He’s not thrilled I’m doing this. I don’t need to give him more reason to insert himself.”

When Andrew returned the paper and it was back in between the highlights of Kevin’s college career, Neil tossed the binder, full of Neil’s secrets and the unsettling sight of his own face grinning alongside Riko's, into the safe and locked it.

Neil seemed committed to shaking off his embarrassment and his forced casual attitude finally gave way as Andrew bullied him into throwing away a couple of the ugly shirts that had wound up on the floor in pulling out his duffle.

By the time they got to bedding Kevin judgmentally watched Neil put sheets on his bed without washing them. He ended up insisting on Neil washing the clothes first at least. Neil’s wide eyed “Of course I will.” was less reassuring than it should have been. 

The majority of unpacking complete to Neil’s satisfaction, if not Kevin’s, Neil trailed them back to their dorm. Aaron had disappeared in the interim, something about picking up books before the team meeting.

Kevin managed to talk Andrew into letting him throw on one of the Trojan’s games from the year before that he’d only rewatched a couple times before and Kevin was thrilled when Neil locked in on it and argued with him over the best Trojan plays, and the recently graduated captain’s terrible footwork, and if the Trojan’s unwavering good sportsmanship was a handicap or not. Kevin was having a great time and even Nicky was throwing in a few comments here or there. Andrew was being uncharacteristically tolerant of the Exy talk and was only expressing his boredom by beaming them with grapes- Kevin assumed Neil’s fruit had gotten mixed in with the cousins after all- at their faces.

Nicky went to answer the door as Neil caught three projectile grapes in a row and ate them with a defiant grin at Andrew. He offered the fourth to Kevin who took it, rolling his eyes at Andrew.

Matt came in when Nicky moved out of the way and the expression on his face was confused enough for Kevin to be offended. What, the ‘monsters’ could have fun? They were friends, after all.

“Hey,” Matt broke the silence awkwardly and Neil turned to look at him. Andrew took the opportunity to beam him in the side of the face with another grape, only grinning when Neil turned to glare heatlessly at him. “Dan and Renee are back. Want to come meet them?”

Kevin noticed the invitation was only for Neil and rolled his eyes. Neil shot him a questioning look, not asking for permission so much as input. Andrew kicked his foot and grinned with that manic edge. “Go assure the other kiddies that you’ve survived our quality time, Josten.”

Neil shrugged and shot the three of them a ‘see you later’ as he followed Matt out of the room. Kevin ignored the impulse to follow along. Neil was fine.

Andrew grinned at Neil when he looked back before leaving, “Don’t wander too far. You’re riding to the court with us later.”

Neil snorted a laugh and pulled the door closed behind him.

---------------------------------------------------------

To say Neil’s first meeting with the full team went poorly would be an understatement. He’d come back from meeting Dan and Renee with a shrug and an exasperated, “Why does everyone think I can’t take care of myself?”

Andrew’s smile in response had been sharp and Kevin winced. If they pushed too hard with Neil he suspected Andrew would start pushing back. No one wanted to see that.

So things with the group before Seth and Allison arrived were okay but not exactly warm and fuzzy. The atmosphere just entirely soured the moment they walked in. Allison was clearly on a tear about something, sending Seth sharp looks and eyeing Neil with a kind of predatory intent that made Kevin want to intervene. Only the entirely unimpressed look Neil shot him when Allison perched herself well inside his personal bubble stayed him. Neil wasn’t uncomfortable, just annoyed.

Seth lasted all of ten minutes before throwing his first slur. As usual the feeling of bile rising up his throat made Kevin still. Andrew, as usual, was the only one to stick up for Nicky and Kevin felt that self-censure tear him to pieces. He edged around a dark pit of shame that stayed carefully unacknowledged and reminded himself that he was so upset because things like Seth said would hurt Jean. They hurt Nicky. Nicky was his friend too. Jean and Nicky didn’t deserve that shit. The fact that he couldn't even look at Andrew or Neil was irrelevant. It did not mean anything.

It didn’t mean anything to him that Wymack didn’t say anything. I didn't mean anything to him that this was normal for the sports world. It didn’t mean anything that no one but Andrew stood up for Nicky. He risked a glance at Neil and wasn’t sure what to make of his annoyed glare at Seth mixed with his own silence. He supposed he couldn’t expect Neil to stick up for someone he wasn’t all that close with. It wasn’t like Kevin did either… That well of self-hatred never did run dry did it?

“Enough!” Wymack finally shouted, calling an end to the antagonism that was quickly boiling over into conflict. “Let’s just get through the rest of this damned meeting. You’re back on campus less than a day and I’m already dreaming of retirement!”

Kevin slouched in his seat and tried to just zone out. He failed.

“Meet the new striker sub- Neil Josten. Questions, comments, concerns?” Wymack waved vaguely at Neil who looked horrified to be the sudden center of attention.

“I’m fucking concerned!” Seth spat scathingly, shooting Neil a decidedly unimpressed glance. “He’s a fucking rookie, I thought the idea was that we were trying to suck less this year-”

“Neil is already a better player than most of this team. With a bit more practice he’ll be the starter and your shitty attitude can ride the bench.” Kevin spat without thinking. Andrew huffed a laugh next to him and Kevin winced at the unfiltered rage that overtook Seth’s expression.  

“What the fuck did you just say?” Seth shouted.

Kevin just glared, keeping his mouth firmly shut. He refused to apologize or walk it back. It was true. Seth had a shitty attitude and he was only marginally better than Dan or Allison. He hadn’t earned that superiority complex. He hadn’t bled for it.

“You fucking piece of shit-” Seth flying up out of his chair and advancing on Kevin wasn’t a surprise. Andrew getting between them in a heartbeat wasn’t a surprise. Neil appearing at his side and shoving Seth back with enough force to topple him back into his chair was. 

Neil stared down at Seth, face a worryingly blank slate, eyes darting around to the other upperclassmen watchfully but not worried.  He seemed entirely unconcerned about Andrew’s knife and the calm he turned to regard Andrew with made Andrew’s grin spread wider. Kevin shivered, not entirely certain what sensation sparked the reaction. 

Renee and Allison jumped in, getting ahold of Seth, and distracting him enough to keep him in his seat. If the viscous glare he shot Neil was any indication this was very much not over.

Andrew kept laughing to himself, the unhinged glee interspersed with him repeating an unfamiliar German word and making himself laugh even more.

Neil shot Kevin a confused look and Kevin just shrugged. He’d picked up a handful of phrases just by living in such close proximity to the cousins but this wasn’t one of them. Neil repeated the word, glancing questioningly at Nicky. His mouth formed the word in a perfect echo of Andrew despite the unfamiliar language. Then again. Neil spoke French, maybe he’d picked up other languages running across Europe.

“German folklore,” Nicky offered, “It’s like a rabbit but with like fangs?” Nicky put his hands up against his face and dropped his pointer fingers in a childish depiction, “And like wings? I think?”

Andrew nodded and grinned at Neil again enunciating, “Rabbit”. It was less derisive than it had been when he’d first gifted Neil the mocking nickname in Arizona.

The excitement over with for the moment, Wymack dropped the bomb about the Ravens moving to the Southeastern district.

“Great so we’re stuck with even more bullshit thanks to Day,” Allison spat, still holding a furious Seth’s hand. “Can’t wait for another round of police raids and vandalism. Remind me why he’s still here?”

Wymack scrubbed his palm across his face, exasperation clear in his tone. “Anyway! The Ravens are coming south. We can expect them to be antagonistic. Keep an eye out and report anything suspicious to campus security.”

Matt and Dan grumbled but nodded.

“We’ll have increased security for games and around the athletes dorm. Obviously Kevin is still a sticking point so you will let me know if anything happens or anyone shows up that security needs to deal with.” Kevin tried not to be put-out that that last bit was aimed at Andrew.

Andrew shrugged, “If there’s anything left, sure.”

Wymack rolled his eyes skyward as if praying for patience that had long ago fled. “Josten, how likely is it that you being here is going to be a problem with Riko?”

Kevin winced and eyed Neil- probably yes. If Riko recognized him then he’d make it his mission to make his life a living hell. Neil may belong to Kengo now but Riko wouldn’t take a slight like that sitting down. Neil was meant to be his, or Tetsuji’s which Riko acted like equated the same.

“Wait, why would Riko care about Josten?” Allison interrupted Neil before he could answer. “Actually, why the fuck are you all buddy buddy with the monsters?”

Neil shrugged and just gritted out a vague, “Riko and I have met.” Hilariously it wasn’t really an understatement. The issue was not the actual lived history between the two but the ‘what if’.

“Of course Neil’s friends with us, we’ve been hanging out for weeks while you all were gone. What, did you think he’d just hide away in Wymack’s apartment?” Nicky reminded them glibly before adding, "Besides, Kevin and Neil are like long lost besties or something. They played little leagues together as kids.”

Aaron scoffed echoing, “besties” under his breath humorlessly.

“We literally met once eight years ago,” Neil grumbled and Kevin had to suppress a smile. True, but that encounter felt so monumental in his memory- the promise of a friend, the way playing with him had felt so different than with Riko, the horror of Neil’s father, the dejection when Nathaniel disappeared, and that promise of a new friend went with him.

“You made an impression,” Kevin snarked in French and Neil’s nose crinkled as he chuckled back, a softer smile taking over at the teasing.  Kevin hummed with pride at earning the positive reaction.

When he looked up everyone was watching them, including Andrew whose gaze was far more pensive than Kevin usually saw him under the influence of his meds. Kevin felt his cheeks flushing much to his own confusion and he looked pleadingly back to Wymack, hoping to move things along.

Taking mercy on Kevin or just out of patience with the lot of them, Wymack called the meeting to an end and reminded them they needed to have their check-ins with Abby before they left.

“Alright, newbie first!” Dan announced, pointing at Neil, no doubt hoping to get him out of the room so they could talk about him.

Neil just shook his head and Abby spoke up for him, “Already did his this morning. Seth, honey, why don’t you come in.” Kevin’s stomach twisted at the sad look Abby shot Neil and how it paired with Neil’s obvious discomfort.

Chapter Text

Kevin had held his breath through the first week of practice- weathering the major personality conflicts, getting in more than a few fights with Seth, and dedicating as much time as he could get away with to building Neil’s skills brick by brick.  The sooner he could give Seth a run for his money the better.

Nicky had begun the campaign to reinstate Friday’s at Eden’s Twilight within an hour of the first practice wrapping up and had been thrilled when Andrew agreed. When he’d decreed Neil would go with them and Neil just shrugged in acceptance Kevin had begun to worry. And because Kevin was himself that worry had festered until it was making him feel physically ill.

Kevin had been gearing up for this conversation for days, taking some of his anxious energy out on the court, trying to be brave enough to ask.

Kevin hadn’t been there for the outings Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky took their other teammates on last year. They'd finished wreaking havoc before he’d shown up bleeding on Wymack’s doorstep. But Kevin knew himself. If he had been there he wouldn’t have said anything. He would have let Andrew do whatever he thought he needed to in order to make sure they were safe, no matter who it hurt. And really, it’d been Matt and Renee who’d faced the worst of it. Matt’s mom had even signed off on Andrew's plan to make drugs available and let Matt bottom out if he was going to bottom out. Renee… Kevin knew how the other upperclassmen felt about her. Hell, Kevin liked Renee even if she wasn’t exactly a star goalkeeper. But Kevin hadn’t spent years around the Moriyama’s not to see danger when it stood next to him. Knowing Andrew had decided Renee was okay made it possible for Kevin to disregard her.

But Neil… Neil wasn’t a threat. He was a risk, obviously. And he likely had more secrets buried behind his too-sharp smiles but Kevin didn't want to see Andrew test Neil, not like that.

He just also didn't want to have to ask Andrew not to. Andrew had said no to him so many times already; he didn't need another.

But, it was Neil…

“Andrew,” Kevin called his attention away from the book he was reading, the pages flipping quickly as Andrew continued to ignore Nicky’s invitations to play some videogame with him and Aaron.

Andrew’s gaze trailed down the rest of the page before he let it fall closed with a last glance at the page number. Andrew’s attention turned to him and Kevin regretted speaking up.

Hesitantly, Kevin rolled to his feet and nodded his head toward their room. If Kevin was going to use his words he certainly didn’t need an audience. Andrew rolled his eyes but followed him, pushing the door close behind him and flopping onto his bed and making no indication that he was listening.

Honestly that might be for the best. Andrew watching him made him nervous in that way he couldn't examine and he wasn’t even sure why this topic was such an issue to just bring up and why was this even Kevin’s problem? Neil could take care of himself! Except, Kevin kept seeing that image of Neil- wide eyed and looking desperately for an exit in that Arizona locker room- when he considered leaving it up to Andrew. Maybe he wasn’t responsible for Neil but he was responsible to him. They were friends. Neil was his friend. Neil was Andrew’s friend. This was stupid.

“So Eden’s…” Kevin managed to choke out and averted his gaze when Andrew rolled over slightly to eye him. Kevin cleared his suddenly uncooperative throat. “Neil- you’re not going to… do anything to him, okay?” Kevin felt a flush of blood flood his cheeks at the sound of the weakest sounding order that had ever been uttered.

Andrew was quiet for a long moment and Kevin could feel his gaze drilling into the side of his face but was too much of a coward to turn and see the impact of his words.

“Kevin,” Andrew called, that sharp demanding tone making him turn without thought (that was an actual assertive tone you damned idiot!).

Andrew wasn’t visibly angry, not that that meant all that much, but he was watching Kevin with an almost gleefully curious stare. “You making the rules now, Day?”

Kevin winced and only noticed he was rubbing his bad hand reflexively when Andrew shot the movement a reprimanding look.

“Neil isn’t… you don’t need to. Neil’s not your problem. He’s mine, okay? Just- just leave him out of it. Let's just go out and have fun like normal, nothing he doesn’t want.” Kevin managed to stop the flow of word-vomit before the dreaded ‘Please’ passed his lips.

At least Andrew still looked mostly amused. He laughed, half bad chemistry, half genuine sardonic mirth. “I wasn’t planning on doing anything to your baby Striker but good to know you’re growing a backbone after all.”

The tension in Kevin went out all at once, relaxing he risked a quiet, “Thank you.” 

Andrew scoffed and waived him off. “Out of curiosity, since you’re feeling chatty, you don’t think he could take it? Josten seems like he might take a bit more to break than a rough night.”

“He’s not- It’s just, if we spooked him…he’s not like Matt or Renee he’ll actually leave if we push him.” Kevin shrunk under the way Andrew examined him. 

Kevin wasn’t entirely sure what Andrew was looking for but he had the worrying feeling that he’d found it when he grinned, “And you don’t want him to.” 

“I want him to stay.” Kevin admitted, managing a halfhearted ‘challenging’ look at Andrew from where he lounged.

Andrew ‘s grin took on a more calculating angle and he shrugged in infuriating nonchalance, “I’m not going to make my own life harder and deprive you of the shiny object.”

“Shiny, what?” Kevin blinked, confused.

Andrew just sighed in exaggerated disappointment, “There’s no helping the helpless. Cheer up Kevin, Neil is staying.”

Kevin decided to write off Andrew’s strange mood as a byproduct of the drugs. His schedule was off kilter so he could come down as they were getting to Sweeties. His moods always got messy when he played with his schedule.

Kevin wasn’t quite sure why he found the idea of Nicky having gone out to buy Neil clothes for the club so off-putting, but three or four comments about Neil’s looks and his body in a row was enough to have him elbow the older boy too hard in reprimand.

“Hands off, Nicky!” Andrew added over his shoulder, reinforcing Kevin’s correction. Kevin tried not to think about how many times Riko had danced the edge of familiar elbows and painful blows when Kevin stepped out of line and had to fight down a dizzy spell. 

When Neil didn’t answer the door right away Andrew set to picking the lock quickly and striding in with no warning.

Sighing, Kevin saw the closed bedroom door and called for him, “Neil!”

There was a startled thump and then Neil was standing in his doorway with one boot on, shaking his head at the four of them making themselves at home in his suite. “Are you meant to announce yourself when you’re breaking and entering?”

“Are you coming or not?” Andrew retorted, not that not coming was really an option.

Neil huffed and turned back to his room, no doubt to locate the other boot.

Kevin had to give it to Nicky, he had good taste in clothes. Neil had begrudgingly been wearing the basics they’d bought him all week but this was different. The shirt and pants were more tailored and fit closer to his body. The black was a startling contrast against his reddish hair and pale skin and eyes. He looked uncomfortable as he picked at the edge of the shirt as if testing its thickness but relented and stuffed his wallet and keys into his pockets before scanning over them in turn, no doubt checking to make sure the clothes matched and Nicky hadn’t been pranking him. Kevin mechanically turned away from Neil and noticed Andrew was looking too-no. Andrew was looking. Not too. Just Andrew. And Kevin noticed and that was fine. Good to know or whatever. Kevin wanted a drink or five.

“Can we go already?” Aaron demanded, clearly done with standing around in Neil’s dorm for no discernible reason.  At some point Kevin was probably going to have to figure out what the fuck was Aaron’s problem with Neil. 

Not tonight though, Kevin wanted to turn his brain off after a week of clashing personalities and Seth.

Nicky, clearly not having taken the damned hint, was joking in that way that made Kevin’s skin crawl, “Aaron don’t let me get too drunk tonight.” 

Andrew stopped dead on the stairs, nearly causing a five-body collision and grabbed Nicky’s collar tightly before coolly warning him, “Don’t make me have to kill you.”

Nicky looked like he wanted to push, make a joke, but Kevin cut in  “Just back off, Nicky. Neil’s not interested.” He didn't want to listen to Nicky keep running his mouth and Neil’s clear relief and him and Andrew setting the boundary just reinforced his righteous anger. He was stepping in for Neil, because Neil was uncomfortable. Because Nicky didn’t respect boundaries and Kevin would rather he shut the fuck up before Kevin broke his hand again on his stupid face.  

Nicky raised his hands in surrender and played it off as a joke, quickly trying to diffuse the awkward tension. As they piled into the car and started driving towards Columbia Nicky filled the dead air by chatting about some drama going on with Eric’s sister that only Aaron was paying attention to. Kevin kept peeking back to watch Andrew napping as he came down off his meds and didn’t take his next dose. 

When Nicky needed directions- Kevin couldn't understand why Nicky insisted on finding a ‘short cut’ when they’d been going to Sweeties and Eden's for months- Aaron risked jostling Andrew.  Kevin winced as Andrew’s instinctive lash out knocked the wind out of Neil.

“Still breathing Neil?” Nicky asked with a nervous look in the rearview mirror.

“Yeah,” Neil gasped back unconvincingly.

“Sorry Neil,” Kevin apologized for Andrew, knowing he’d never do it. He probably wasn’t actually sorry, ‘regret is pointless’, but getting some version of ‘it was not intentional’ out of Andrew would take ages if it was even possible.

“It’s fine,” Neil dismissed it and Kevin rolled his eyes. He’d been on the receiving end of Andrew’s rough treatment before they’d made their deal in the Spring, back when he and Andrew had been more prone to kill each other than coexist, and he knew Neil was going to feel that hit in the morning.

He looked back and caught sight of Andrew’s too pale face in the blur of headlights. He wasn't sure he was reading it right until Andrew gasped Nicky’s name and demanded he pull over.

A dangerous slide across the road and a too-abrupt stop got Andrew to the breakdown lane quickly enough for him to reject the contents of his stomach.

Kevin clenched his fist around the bottle in his pocket. He hated being the one to hold onto them. He wanted to give them to Andrew. He wanted Andrew to spare himself the pain. At the same time, he wanted Andrew to just be fine without them. But that was unrealistic and impossible until May. Even he could admit that Andrew on Cracker Dust was a better option than Andrew in full withdrawal.

If someone had told the person he’d been a year ago that he would be driving to a club with friends, intending to drink and do recreational drugs, he never would have believed it. 

He was torn between the usual pit of self-loathing for his weakness that he needed these things to cope and the freedom to do stupid things and not be punished for it with anything more than a hangover. 

He watched Neil take in the cracker dust transaction and felt that self-loathing rise anew as Neil’s judgment was clear. Andrew filled his stomach with dry crackers and too sweet ice cream and didn't have the decency to wait for anything approaching privacy to pour dust into his mouth. Kevin let the way Andrew’s shaking slowed to a stop and his posture righted out of its crumpled state distract him from the desire to prove to Neil he didn’t need this stuff, that he was better than it too.

He wasn’t. The only things Kevin was 'better at' than anyone else were Exy and ruining things.

Eden’s was, as always, an overwhelming experience. That’s why Kevin liked it so much. Between the sound, the lights, and the alcohol there wasn’t space left in Kevin’s head to do anything. He could just exist and pay for the night of no fear with a hangover in the morning. It felt like a fair trade most days.

Neil, surprising no one, didn’t drink. Aaron’s sneer and Nicky’s needling did nothing to change his mind. Aaron looked even more pissed when Andrew returned with drinks for the four of them and a still sealed bottle of water for Neil. Andrew eyed him as Neil took the offered drink and raised a brow at what Kevin assumed was relief on his own face.

They distributed the cracker dust and Kevin ignored the way Neil’s “Drugs are stupid” pronouncement made him hesitate. Yes, they were. But they also gave him a couple hours of living outside his mind. It was a hostile place, he needed a break.

Between the drinks and the dust the night went blurry. Kevin kept his seat at the table and was content to argue pro Exy stats with Neil until Andrew threatened to kill them both if they didn't find another topic. 

Neil’s topic of choice- how easy it was to rile Seth up- wasn’t much better but Andrew offered a few increasingly ridiculous ideas on how to subtly fuck with him in their shared dorm. Kevin, had he been sober, might have been worried about Neil picking a fight with someone nearly a foot taller than him, but as it was he laughed imagining the way slowly moving all of Seth’s belonging’s a quarter inch left every few days would drive him mad.

Andrew drove them home and Kevin must have dozed on the ride because the next thing he knew Andrew was shaking him awake and forcing a glass of cold water into his hand, standing over him until he drank it all. Andrew patted his head a few times in praise and disappeared before Kevin could do something stupid like thank him for it.

Kevin flopped onto the longer of the two couches in the living room and enjoyed the sound of Neil’s breathing in counterpoint to his own enough that it lulled him to sleep in minutes.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin could have done without listening to half their team screaming at him when he was hung over the following afternoon.

The moment they pulled into the parking lot it was like Matt, Dan, and Renee appeared out of thin air.

“What the fuck!” Matt’s bellow was like a blow to Kevin’s sensitive head and he had a hard time reopening his eyes after the wince. He just wanted to go back to sleep. His head pounded- okay maybe some more water and pain killers and then back to sleep.

“Hello Boyd, good to see you. We’re doing absolutely swell on this fine morning, how about you?” Andrew’s false cheer was as grating as Matt’s anger. Kevin just wanted everyone to shut the fuck up.

“Neil, are you okay? What did they do?” Dan asked, her voice a more acceptable level but she was preventing him from opening his door so she could still go fuck herself.

“I’m fine?” Neil’s confusion sounded from where he was climbing out of the backseat and Andrew scoffed. Kevin popped his door handle and swung it open just enough to not hit Dan but hopefully signal ‘Move!’ without him having to talk.

"I don't know what you’re playing at but you can’t just-” Matt was yelling again, specifically at Andrew this time. Kevin bumped Dan gently with the door and she finally processed that she was in the way.

“Excuse you,” she hissed at him and he got out. He rolled his eyes and regretted the movement as he felt a little size for a heartbeat. Water, painkillers, sleep.

“Christ Matt, he’s back in one piece, what’s your problem?” Oh god, if Aaron was defending Andrew things must be very bad.

“I think we all know your little team outings aren’t just fun,” Dan retorted, approaching Neil, and laying her hands on his shoulders so she could stare at his face. Neil’s obvious discomfort was clearly not obvious to Dan. He took a halting step out of reach and put his hands up in a placating gesture.

“Look, I’m not sure what you’re angry about but I’m good. We went to dinner and a club.”

“And you remember the whole night?” Dan’s skepticism was crystal clear.

Neil’s face scrunched up in confusion, “Yes?”

Dan and Matt’s combined suspicious glare rounded on both him and Andrew this time. Sure, to a certain extent maybe their suspicion was fair, after all Kevin had talked about their plans with Andrew the day before, but also Kevin hadn’t been a part of any of that- why was he assumed to be 'just as bad’? 

“Guys, maybe we can take this inside? Neil is back and he’s okay and we’re making a scene.” Renee’s cajoling seemed to be working because she managed to lead the pack of them inside and distract Matt and Dan long enough for ‘the monsters’ to make it back to their dorm. Kevin spared a moment of regret for leaving Neil alone with them but his bed was calling his name. Water and painkillers would wait. Nap first.

A few hours later Kevin felt mostly alive again. By the time he was up Neil was back in their room, camped out on the couch with Andrew who sounded like he was explaining that yes, he had offered Matt drugs knowing he was an addict. No, he didn’t feel bad about it. Yes, he did take credit for leading Matt to the rock bottom that allowed him to actually get clean. No, he didn’t care about Matt at all and he certainly hadn’t done it for him. Aaron’s abrupt exit from the room at that pronouncement came with a slammed door and a bemused look from Neil.

“Matt and Dan warn you off us?” Kevin asked, aiming for the kitchen and the water he absolutely should have drunk before going back to bed.

“I’m clearly an innocent child that needs protection from the realities of this cruel word.” Neil snarked, the bit of bite in his words was probably aimed at their overprotective teammates but Kevin glanced back just to check. Neil’s expression was exasperated but not angry, okay.

“Idiots,” Andrew scoffed, “even if you weren’t… you, you qualified for the Foxes, no way you get here without being majorly fucked up.”

Neil leaned back on the couch and hung his head back over the edge, groaning in annoyance.

“I was treated to a lecture about not leaving a note or calling them or whatever. Apparently I need to buy a phone ‘for safety’.”

Andrew shot Kevin a look and Kevin nodded. That, they actually agreed on actually.

“You do need a phone. We’ll go to the store.” Andrew decreed and Kevin nodded even as Neil protested.

“No, listen I’m fine. I’ll leave a note or whatever. I’m with the team pretty much whenever I’m not in class.”

“Except when you go running and no one knows where you are,” Kevin grumbled.

“And no one hates themselves enough to run with you. So, phone.”

Neil grumbled but seemed to be banking on them forgetting or being able to talk them out of it later.

Within the hour they’d all dragged Neil to the closest store to buy the least technically advanced phone Kevin had ever seen. It was a compromise made in getting Neil to carry one at all.

As Andrew was paying (despite Neil’s insistence that he could pay even as he argued against the purchase happening at all) Andrew finally lost his patience and shoved the phone against Neil’s chest hard enough to make him rock back on his heels. Andrew grabbed the back of Neil’s neck to stop him from retreating and Kevin considered turning away to give them privacy in the oddly charged moment. In the end his curiosity won out.

Andrew’s tone was firm but not angry as he bluntly told him, “we need to be able to find you” waving his hand to include Kevin in the ‘we’. When Neil didn’t protest for once he continued, “You don't need to share it with anyone else but you will call me if there is a problem and you will answer if Kevin or I call or text you.”

Neil’s eyes were wide and he was very still as he nodded his agreement finally.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of summer practice fell into a routine that Kevin quickly got addicted to. Team practice in the morning, wasting the afternoon with books or tv or whatever harebrained idea Nicky got in his head to drag them into, Night practice with Neil as Andrew watched over them, and weekends at Columbia.

Seth didn’t get easier to deal with, in fact he got more and more abrasive while Neil slowly improved as his body gained muscle memory and practice boosted his conditioning. He was so damned fast and, now that he was putting in hours of practice a day plus the mandatory gym time, the drawbacks of his relative inexperience were being outweighed by that raw talent that Kevin had wanted to mould since he first saw Neil’s tapes.

The rest of the upperclassmen were still waging a charm offensive, trying to stop them from seducing Neil to the ‘dark side’ and had no compunctions about cautioning Neil against seeking him or Andrew out. They reminded him every week that he ‘didn’t have to go with them’ to Eden’s even though Neil never seemed to have any objections. He still didn't drink or Dust but he seemed just as content chatting with him and Andrew or people watching from the railing above the dancefloor as he did when they were whiling away the hours in the dorm. Kevin couldn't help his smug satisfaction every time Neil waved off their concern and left with them.

After years at the Nest with its sixteen-hour days it still surprised Kevin how quickly time passed when there were only seven days in a week. The start of the season was breathing down their neck before he realized and Wymack was calling them to the lounge to talk about their first game.

Wymack laid out the lines- Neil, Nicky, and Allison as subs, Renee playing the second half so Andrew could be sober for his shift. He seemed surprised that Neil had no reaction beyond a concerned frown when told Andrew would be sober on the court. None of their little group felt the need to explain that they all saw quite a bit of sober (or at least mood stabilizer free) Andrew in the dorm and in Columbia. He’d have to be more careful during the season. Too many skipped doses and a random blood test could put his parole at risk. Still, Neil seemed less worried about Andrew being on the court sans-medication than even Nicky or Aaron. Kevin was honestly relieved that at least one other person seemed to understand that Andrew’s high wasn’t to anyone’s benefit.

Despite the team's concern about Andrew’s volatility it was Seth who started the first fight of the season. And of course, he started it with him and not the asshole on the other team who was spewing all sorts of crap about the Foxes. Because Kevin saying that the Foxes were ‘a work in progress’ was apparently worse than the other player actually shit-talking them in the first place. Dimly Kevin was pretty sure Nicky had just won some money on a bet. He didn't know why anyone bet against Seth fighting.

Kevin hated him and for a moment he missed the Nest and how quickly that attitude of his would have been subdued under the Master’s cane. But no, Kevin wanted to be better than that. He still hated Seth though.

Neil came on for him about two thirds of the way through the half and Kevin couldn't resist pacing up and down the outer court walls as he and Seth floundered through shoddy teamwork. Seth's skill and experience earned him a goal and Neil seemed to take it as a challenge as he sprinted to catch a rebound from a pass Dan overshot. He was crushed against the boards harshly but bounced back quickly enough to swipe the ball and land a messy but successful goal of his own just before the half was up.

Neil was already so much better than he was during their first practice a few months ago and Kevin felt a shy well of pride in his improvement. If he was also a tiny bit proud of himself for getting him there he’d never admit it.

As Kevin strode back on the court with Andrew at his side for the second half he grinned, rolling his shoulders, and feeling more himself than he ever did outside the four walls of the court. When Neil came on for Seth Kevin reveled in the easy synchronicity between them and found himself laughing when Andrew blasted balls at the opposite end of the court telling Neil to “Fetch”. He did.

All the work he’d put in with Neil seemed to have been very much worth it. There were still kinks of work out and Neil still had a ways to go to be playing at his level even with his handicap but they eked out a tie when Neil managed a perfect off the wall pass to Kevin who snuck the ball in just under the defending goalies elbow a few seconds before the final buzzer sounded.

Kevin had a mental list of faults and bad plays and areas for improvement and none of them mattered much when Neil all but tackled him in celebration for the final goal. Kevin was glad for the helmet all of a sudden. He was pretty sure that the wetness on his cheek wasn’t sweat. 

Chapter Text

The high of the game carried them through the rest of the night and Kevin wasn’t even all that angry when his roommates turned on him and refused to let him fall asleep in anticipation of their early morning bus ride to get to the studio for Kathy’s show. His only consolation was that they’d dragged Neil along into the madness and so he was looking similarly disheveled when Wymack knocked on their door at dark-o-clock in the morning.

Negotiating the press event had been tricky. Kevin had been dodging every interview request for nine months and the Palmetto administration had made it clear that part of the reason they put up with the increased cost of security and PR personnel was that Kevin was meant to be boosting their image. He’d put it off until after the first game and was beyond relieved that they’d put on a good enough show that he wouldn't be biting back criticisms with every word.

The foxes had a long way to go but if nothing else the night before had proven there was something to work with there.

Getting Neil on board had been just as tricky. Kevin had almost said no out of hand when Kathy’s people called all but demanding he be brought into the interview as well. What on earth could Neil say during an interview considering he only recently started existing in any sort of legal capacity.

But, then again, getting to control Neil's introduction like this would be incredibly convenient. If they could put out the bare bones of Neil’s mafia approved backstory then maybe people would be less likely to dig.

Kevin had played an uncomfortable game of telephone with Neil, Neil’s Uncle, a Moriyama public relations person, and Kathy’s team- not that Kathy’s team knew how many hands there were guiding Rookie Striker Sub Neil Josten’s publicity.

The Moriyama approved bulleted list of talking points had been delivered via Stuart Hatford’s put upon voice the week before the game and Kevin had been subtly rehearsing the narrative with Neil at night practices and during the rare occasions when Kevin was feeling masochistic enough to join him on a run. He thought Neil’s ever-increasing pace maybe had more to do with hoping Kevin would run out of breath to speak than him actually enjoying sprinting for miles on end.

They were as ready as they’d ever be and Kathy was hopefully going to stick to the script- nothing too personal for Neil, mostly Exy and talk about Kevin’s new role on the Foxes.

Kevin passed out in his seat on the bus, his absolute exhaustion overwhelming his anxious thoughts.

Wymack was the one to shake him awake after far too little sleep and Kevin had to remind himself not to bite the man’s head off. He’d been the one to plan this trip. And besides, he was trying to make Wymack like him. He wouldn’t say it was going well but it would certainly be going worse if he unloaded his exhaustion-induced frustration on the man.

He regretted his own restraint slightly when Wymack’s solution to waking Andrew was to throw things at him. Fuck the fact that a bruise wouldn’t look good on camera, the way Andrew’s instinctive lash out was so clearly fear made Kevin want to hit something. 

Instead he retrieved two cups of coffee from the tray sharing Neil’s seat and begrudgingly doctored one with too much creamer. The disgusting concoction in hand Kevin offered it as a silent apology for not stepping in, not that Andrew could know that. The spark of panic that had been in Andrew’s eyes at waking had faded but Kevin could see some of the softness of sleep still clinging to the edges of him. Andrew looked confused at the cup as he took it from Kevin and shook his head, clearly trying to focus as he woke fully and left both sleep and panic behind. Once he’d taken a few reluctant sips of the drink and noticed Kevin wasn’t tricking him (he’d given the boy a kale smoothing one time) he nodded in acknowledgment. It wasn’t a thank you or even gratitude but Kevin felt warm over the slight acknowledgement anyway.

He felt eyes on him as he handed Andrew his meds and watched with bittersweet relief as Andrew took his pill without comment.

When Kevin turned away, ordered to start walking laps before he fell asleep standing up, he caught Neil biting his lip and frowning at Andrew as if deep in thought. He looked a little bleary-eyed and his hair was mussed from sleep and Kevin was caught by how concerned he looked for Andrew’s sake. As if feeling Kevin’s eyes on him, Neil’s gaze bounced to him. Kevin turned on his heel and strode for the front of the bus.

Kevin took a moment to pause before exiting the bus when they finally arrived. He took a long steadying breath, rolled his shoulders a few times, and fixed a pleasant expression on his face. He could do this. He’d done it a million times with Riko and doing this without that particular sword hanging over his head had to be better, right? 

“You alright?” Neil’s question startled him and he glanced over his shoulder where his friend was eyeing him in confusion at the bottleneck he was making.

Kevin smiled, a bit of genuine care sneaking into the expression, “All good.”

He squinted against the early morning sun and went to join the cluster of people around Kathy.

“Kevin!” Her greeting was an over enthusiastic shout of his name followed by a too-familiar hug. They’d met a few times before, sure, but this was over the top. Kevin managed to extract himself from her clutches and take a few steps back. He felt more than heard Andrew and Neil approaching.

He managed a bit of vague small talk as Kathy led them all inside. Eventually, after she’d made the requisite fuss of his presence, she turned her focus on Neil.

Kevin wondered how ridiculous it would be to step in front of him. He didn't like the predatory way she was looking at him, like his entire existence was just a ratings figure.

“Neil Josten, good morning! I suppose you already heard the good news? As of eleven o’clock last night, your name is the third-highest search for NSCAA Exy strikers. That puts you right after Riko and Kevin. How does it feel?”

If Neil’s sudden wide-eyed look of panic was any indication, not great.  Kevin repressed the urge to grab ahold of Neil’s shoulder and shore him up. They’d talk about this. Joining the Foxes inevitably meant media attention but given Neil’s incredibly convenient non-existence before a year ago they had a lot of control over the narrative. Neil Josten could be as private a person as Neil wanted him to be. They just needed to set the tone so that reporters knew what to expect from him. He’d be dealing with the press for the rest of his life, better to get used to deflecting questions now. And it was something Kevin could actually help with. If Neil let him.

“I didn’t need to know that,” Neil muttered.

“Are you two ready?” Kathy asked, completely ignoring Neil’s clear lack of enthusiasm.

“Wait, you two? As in you and Neil?” Dan asked, turning on Kevin with an accusatory glare.

“Yes,” Kevin replied to Kathy, he supposed it worked for Dan as well. Well that answered the question of if Neil had told the others what they’d decided on.  At least Andrew already knew. Kevin could handle the rest of them being bent out of shape about this but he needed Andrew on board.

“Neil? You don’t have to do this, you know. Day can’t make you-” Dan was doing it again, speaking to Neil like he was a child, like Kevin was somehow pressuring him into something. He wanted to shout something, ask her what it would take to back off and just let him have a god damned friend. Instead he clenched his teeth, clinging to his stupid media smile.

“It’s fine,” Neil’s lackluster response wasn’t doing Kevin any favors.

“Day-” Dan’s gaze was sharp and Kevin braced for a new condemnation.

“Didn’t you hear him? He said it’s fine.” Andrew’s too-cheerful tone broke her focus and Kevin nodded his head towards the dressing room Kathy’s aid was impatiently waiting beside, beyond relieved that Neil followed.

Kevin shot Andrew a nakedly grateful look and just shook his head when the manic smile only grew larger as Matt’s voice joined Dan’s in arguing with him.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin turned his back to let Neil change into the clothes they’d been left. Neil looked patently uncomfortable in the makeup chair and Kevin found himself somewhat resentful that the makeup artist had decided Neil’s freckles had to be covered in the quest to ‘reduce shine with full coverage primer’.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” Neil muttered when they were finally alone, waiting for a stagehand to come retrieve them.

“We have to do this.” Kevin retorted, growing frustrated by Neil’s growing anxiety. He would feel bad about not being supportive later. For now they needed to get through this without damaging anyone's reputation or pissing off their ‘owners’. Kevin had tried to work with him on the talking points, and if Neil was so nervous he should have asked Kevin to work with him more. 

Kevin interrupted Neil’s pacing with a firm hand on each shoulder. “We’re going to go out there and smile like we wouldn’t rather be anywhere else. Kathy is going to ask stupid questions that we already know how to answer, and if she tries to slip in anything over the line I’ll take it.” Kevin kept his tone firm and sure despite the fact that his own anxiety was ramping up in anticipation. He’d never done press alone before. And he supposed he still wasn't. But Neil didn't seem like he was actually going to be much help.

Kevin would not sink so low as to miss Riko.

Despite it being at least 50% bullshit Neil seemed to take some sort of strength from Kevin’s show of control.

“I can smile and lie. I know how to pretend to be someone else,” Neil eventually agreed and Kevin winced, not letting Neil take a step out of his hold.

Kevin dug for something comforting to say but there wasn’t much to make ‘keep to the talking points so the Moriyama’s don’t kill us’ sound less terrible. “You get to decide what you tell them. We talked about this. You can tell a lot of the truth without giving away the things that have to be secret.”

Neil sighed and averted his eyes, the eye contact breaking making him realize he’d been holding it in a too-intense stare. He let go of Neil a little too quickly and Neil shot him a confused look but shrugged it off when the aid returned to collect them.

Kevin left Neil behind the panel where he’d wait to be called with what he hoped was a reassuring smile and pasted on his best confident smile before walking into the blinding stage lights.

There were maybe two hundred people in the audience but it felt like more as they cheered his arrival. Kevin forced himself to grin and wave vaguely towards the middle of the audience. He let his gaze touch on the foxes just once to make sure Andrew was there. His shark-grin made Kevin’s clenched jaw relax just a little.

Kevin sank into the uncomfortable sofa next to Kathy’s desk and let her halfheartedly quiet the crowd. “Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. I still can’t believe I talked you into this.” She crowed, seeming a little too pleased with herself. Kevin bit back the desire to remind her he was there because his University told him to do press. “I hope you forgive me when I say it’s surreal to see you back here alone! I still think of you as one half of a whole.”

Kevin ruthlessly gripped tight to his pleasant smile and didn’t let himself wince. He leaned on the years of hard-won instincts and leaned back casually, “At least I have room to stretch out now.”  When in doubt, make a joke of your discomfort. Never let them see you sweat. “I might have to do so in a minute. I can’t believe you expect us to be awake and presentable after last night’s game.”

Her laugh was fake as she batted her eyes and said something about him ‘cleaning up nice’ in return. Kevin’s stomach turned over. Someone in the crowd called out what he thought might have been a compliment and he forced his smile brighter as if he wasn’t uncomfortable. This was a part of it. People watching him, looking at him, lusting after him. It’d been part of this for as long as he could remember. It never got less off-putting though. They didn’t even know him. 

Kathy kicked off the actual interview with the “why Palmetto State” of it all. Luckily that answer had been something he’d had in his back pocket since Wymack offered him his contract. Obviously it wasn’t 100% true but like he’d told Neil he could tell some of the truth.

“Coach Wymack was friends with my Mother. As I’m sure you know, she taught him how to play Exy. Even after she died and Coach Moriyama took me in, Coach Wymack kept in touch with me.” All true. Coach Wymack was also his father but that wasn’t something Kevin was ready to think about. He saw Kathy gearing up to ask another question and figured he'd just get the rest of his boilerplate speech out.

“Last December I thought I would never play again. I was a wreck. Coach Wymack was the only person I could think of turning to, and he didn’t disappoint me. He took me in without hesitation and I enjoy working with him."

Kevin hadn't even realized he was rubbing his bad hand until Kathy’s manicured hand covers his in a too-intimate show of sympathy. He just barely kept himself from flinching back and fought to stay in the moment as she cooed over him, mourning that he’d not gone back to his abusers and giving him a metaphorical pat on the head for making a comeback at all, all in one breath. Kevin counted slow breaths until he could naturally regain possession of his hand.

In a show of uncharacteristic mercy she moved on. "Speaking of your new team, congratulations on last night! Your first game back and you managed a draw against Breckenridge! You managed five goals, Senior Seth Gordon bagged two, and your Rookie striker sub managed two of his own as well as a few rather remarkable assists. Let’s talk about Neil Josten for a moment, shall we?”

Kevin nodded, his eyes darting to the black partition he knew Neil was waiting behind. Kathy asked him, rather rudely, what he’d been thinking, recruiting Neil given his lack of experience. 

“I think I kind of proved my point last night. Neil is probably the rookie player with the most potential in the league this year,” Kevin answered honestly. “Honestly I’m just glad we got to him before anyone else was able to sign him. I know some of the bigger schools with more established programs tend to get higher recruitment drives but Neil is proof that just because your school hasn’t dropped a fortune into athletics doesn’t mean there aren’t potential stars out there.”

“I think we’re all wondering why you’d go to such lengths for him, you and the ERC agreed to embargo his name until yesterday. What drove that choice?”

Kevin molded his face into something a bit more grave, concern sliding into his tone. “Our primary concern was to keep Neil safe. After everything that happened when the news broke that I was recovering at PSU we wanted to make sure we weren’t putting a target on Neil’s back. The ERC agreed to help us keep him quiet to ensure we didn’t lose out on such a talent thanks to some misguided fans going after him.” Again, somewhat true. If you ignored the whole mafia and Riko being a psychopath component.

“Well with that kind of confidence in him I know we can’t wait to see what you manage to do with him this year!” Kathy took in the crowd's cheers in agreement and her grin got even wider as she gave Neil’s preamble and invited him onstage to even more cheering.

Neil looked as nervous as he had been in the dressing room, clearly that confidence Kevin had managed to instill in him had been wavering in his absence. Wasn’t that hilarious, Kevin Day the coward making someone else feel brave?

Neil took the seat next to Kevin and Kevin felt somewhat better for having him there. He shot Andrew another look just to be sure.

“Isn’t this an interesting picture? Kevin is paired again.” Kathy eyed them speculatively. “Neil, I know I don’t have to tell you that you have our attention. You caught a National Champion’s eye as an amateur from the middle of nowhere. Very rags to riches fairytale, don’t you think?”

Neil laughed nervously and nodded, “I certainly never expected to be here, I can tell you that much. Kevin was the last person I expected to see again in Arizona.” And apparently Neil was going to just get it all out of the way up front.

“Again?” Kathy’s eyes were wide with genuine surprise. “You’d met before?”

“Oh, yeah just once when we were kids. We went to the same Exy clinic for like a day.” Neil shrugged it off like this wasn’t going to feed reporters for weeks. Kevin was honestly a little impressed. Well, Neil had said he could lie well.

“But if you played when you were younger- I’m sorry, I thought you were a rookie? I believe the press release said you’d only been playing for a year?” Kathy looked a mixture of delighted to get ‘the scoop’ and furious that she was being blindsided.

“I don’t think a season of playing backliner when I was ten really counts towards my experience.” Neil shrugged, eyeing him. Kevin picked up the thread.

“The ERC only tracks stats after the U11 leagues. Neil picked the sport back up as a high school senior.” Kevin explained. “I didn’t even recognize him when we got his tape from his coach. It was a bit of a surprise to me when I figured it out.” Kevin shared a sardonic look with Neil at the understatement. 

“Well, that’s quite impressive.” She bit out the comment, clearly settling more into annoyance at being blindsided than excited given how mundane the story was. “It must be nice, having such an old friend on the line.”

“I mean, I’ve followed Kevin’s career like just about everyone else and I definitely remember meeting him fondly, but I would say we’re better friends now than we were as kids.” Neil shrugged before grinning sharply at him and joking, “After all, Kevin didn’t even remember my name.”

Kevin couldn’t help but laugh, the absurdity of the conversation was just too much. Neil was such a little shit! Whatever, let people think he forgot Neil’s name rather than that Neil was living under a false identity.

“Well, it’s lucky for all of us that you were reunited. If only you’d come back to Exy sooner you might have been snatched up by Edgar Allen or USC. Why did you wait so long?” Kevin winced internally at the sharpness of Kathy’s questions. Okay, so clearly she was less interested in playing nice now.

“I moved around a lot as a kid, it was hard to get involved in team sports and honestly I wasn’t all that interested, I guess I kind of forgot how much fun it was. I really only tried out in Millport to make some friends as the new kid. I certainly never expected this.”

“I’m willing to bet there’s a million kids out there who would gladly take your spot if you lose interest,” well that was a bit harsh, “After all you’re one of two people who have gotten to be Kevin Day’s partner." Kevin held his breath, anticipating a topic change to Riko any moment.

“In fact,” Kathy brightened, tapping her finger to her mouth as if thinking of a brand-new question, “What does Riko think about your new partner? I imagine he misses you.”

Kevin felt his face freeze, “We’ll see each other again this fall.”  He thought it sounded almost normal but Neil was watching him with a concerned frown so obviously he was letting something through.

“Indeed you will! Any thoughts on the district change?” She asked, Kevin was prepared for this. He had his generic comment ready but she just seemed so… excited?  What the hell? He shot Neil a look and he was also watching her suspiciously.  They really needed to work on Neil’s poker face. That was some blatant contempt airing on live TV.

“I haven’t spoken with Coach Moriyama. I imagine he has his reasons behind the move.” Kevin’s words were route.

“I can’t believe no one has discussed it with you! Do you not keep up with your old friends?” the question was leading somewhere. Kevin shot a glance at Andrew whose smile had morphed into something more akin to bared teeth. That was oddly comforting actually.

“We’re all busy. It’s difficult to keep in touch.”

Kathy’s mouth slid into an exaggerated frown, “Well that just won’t do. What do you say folks? How about a little reunion?” 

The crowd went wild. Neil’s head whipped around to look at him, eyes wide. Kevin went numb.

Riko strode out from behind that same partition, smug smile in place, tattoo stark against his cheekbone, and cold eyes boring into Kevin’s. The air felt very thin.

Please no. Kevin screamed in his mind, maybe whispered. Beside him, Neil nudged him subtly and Kevin leaned into the contact as a tether to the present moment.

He was there, on stage at Kathy’s stupid fucking morning show. He was not at Evermore staring down at his shattered hand. He was not a Raven. 

Riko greeted Kathy warmly, charming her, charming the room, hiding the monster he’d become behind his well-trained smile. Just like Kevin did. 

Riko towered over him for a moment and Kevin forgot how to breathe. When he held his hand out for Kevin to take he felt his stomach drop. He felt like he was falling, like the ground was rising to meet him at deadly speed. Still, he took Riko’s hand. He gave him his uninjured appendage and prayed the audience would be enough to allow him to walk away with it still intact.

Riko surprised him by pulling hard enough to dislodge him from the couch and once he’d been rocked forward he had to stand to avoid a scene. The feeling of Neil’s arm against his disappeared as he stood and found himself enveloped in Riko’s too tight hug.

“Get it together, Two.” Riko hissed in Japanese and Kevin started enough to reciprocate briefly. The feeling of Riko in his space, exchanging those brotherly affections like he hadn't ruined him less than a year before… Kevin felt ill. He closed his eyes tightly and prayed for the contact to end.

Mercifully, Riko stepped back. He made some sort of comment about Southern food and Kevin knew he said something back, through he couldn't possibly say what it was. He barely felt like he was still there. Kathy blathered on for a minute while Riko got settled on his own couch and Kevin’s knees went out from under him, dropping him back to his own seat, albeit closer to Neil than where he’d started. Neil leaned into him in silent support and Kevin tried to draw what strength he could from it. He was meant to be guiding Neil through his first media experience and the sky had just fallen. This was a disaster.

He spared half a heartbeat to look at the Foxes and felt his eyes start to burn as he traced Andrew’s furious glare back to Riko. Half the team was holding him back and still it looked like he was ready to storm the damned stage at a moment's notice. Kevin almost wanted him to.

“Breathe,” Neil muttered under his breath, the soft French word making him blink a few times as his brain tried to translate. At the sight of Riko his mind had prepared itself for more Japanese and to hear French… Kevin nearly looked for Jean. Except no, Jean wouldn't be here. Neil was here. That was Neil in his space and reminding him how to breathe. It was Neil who Riko was watching with murder in his eyes.

Fuck.

“So it sounds like this is a true reunion for the two of you, you haven’t spoken recently?” Kathy kicked things off, clearly oblivious to the fact that the world was ending, and that Kevin was dying, and that everything was going wrong.

“We haven’t.” Riko confirmed, sounding so sad about it that Kathy cooed in sympathy. “December was crushing for us. Kevin may have been the one injured but he didn't suffer alone. None of us could handle the reality of what the accident meant for Kevin’s career. Growing up at Evermore, centering our lives around Exy, being a duo- losing that was unthinkable. In a moment our dreams of doing those things we dreamed of together vanished. Kevin needed to heal and I needed to accept I’d be living our dreams alone.” 

Kevin couldn't even identify what he felt at Riko’s words. His insinuation that Kevin would never achieve any of the things they’d dreamed of was transparent. He wanted to deny it but he couldn't help but agree, deep down. Would he ever recover enough to play at the level Riko did? Was he doomed to truly be second best now? Could he live like that?

Kathy nodded with a sympathetic smile, “That’s understandable. Still, is this really the first time you’ve spoken in nine months?”

Neil leaned a bit closer and Kevin managed a mostly steady breath before answering the question in a way that wouldn't get him killed. “As Riko said, what we needed in the aftermath was different. Space was good for us, we needed to move on.” He couldn't look at Riko so he watched a bead of water roll down the glass on Kathy’s desk. 

“I can’t even imagine how it must have been, to go from living in each other's pockets, always together, to Kevin being states away. And it must have meant even more pressure on your shoulder Riko, playing alone without Kevin for the first time.” Kevin wanted to scoff. He didn’t.

Riko nodded solemnly, playing the part of solemn loved one so well, “Kevin’s only human. He couldn’t recover at Evermore, watching everything he had slip away. It would have been cruel to ask it of him. Luckily the Ravens have been able to compensate for his absence. We miss him, particularly Jean and I, but our performance hasn't suffered for it.”

Kevin choked on the sound of Jean's name from Riko's mouth. He'd had barely any contact with him since leaving. He could only imagine the consequences that had fallen on his shoulders.

Kathy sighed, dragging him back to the conversation, “Is that how you felt Kevin, that you couldn’t heal at Evermore?”

“Everything had changed. I needed to walk away, no matter the consequences.” That, at least, was true. Because leaving had consequences- to him, to the Foxes, to Jean.

“It’s heartbreaking.” Kathy decreed before rallying and seeming determined to put a positive spin on the tragedy of Kevin’s life. “But look at how far Kevin has come. His recovery is remarkable, wouldn’t you say, Riko?”

Riko’s face twisted into a skeptical frown, “I don’t know that I’d say remarkable. Kevin was a generational talent. The fact that he’s playing at all is surprising but he’s so clearly a shadow of his former performance. As his brother in all but blood I worry that pushing himself is going to just end in disappointment. I worry about the toll failing will take, emotionally.” 

Kevin felt his words like knife twisting in his gut. Of course Riko would know just where to hit him, would know his insecurities. Of course Riko would look him in the eye and remind him he was not good enough, that he would fail, that if he wasn’t the best he was nothing.

“Some brother,” Neil’s acidic tone startled him, as did him saying anything at all. Kevin glanced at him and his eyes went wide at the hate in his gaze as he watched Riko. What on earth… “Thank god I’m an only child. I’d think siblings should at least pretend to cheer you on. Then again, you did abandon him after the accident.”

Jesus fucking Christ.

Riko’s expression was a thundercloud at the accusation and Kevin caught the nervous glance back and forth that Kathy shot the two of them before seemingly trying to step in. 

“Right! Speaking of Kevin’s new era in Exy- Riko I do believe you need to be introduced to Neil here. Kevin’s past and future!”

Riko’s smile was all teeth as he corrected her, “Actually, we’ve met. Just the once when Neil here was about… ten? His parents brought him to a clinic at Edgar Allen. How are your parents, Neil?”

Kevin felt the blood drain from his face, what the fuck was Riko doing? He knew, he had to know- There was no way Tetsuji wasn’t aware that Neil was main branch property now…

“My mother passed away last year. My father and I aren’t close but I hear he’s doing well.” Neil gritted out the words and Kevin winced. Did they really need to be calling the specter of Neil’s father into existence? 

“My condolences.” Riko’s insincerity was clear as day to Kevin, he probably already knew that. “Well, as you said, you don’t have family in your life. I don’t expect you to understand the dynamic. It’s something unique.”

“It was unique. Sounds to me like whatever it was is definitely over. Lucky Kevin- who’d want to stay tied to someone who treated their brother as if he was disposable?” What the hell did Neil think he was doing? Kevin moved his foot and tried to step on Neil’s as subtly as possible.

Riko’s fury was just building higher- it was going to crash down on him, on them, and Neil… Neil was insane. 

“Kevin choosing to leave Edgar Allen was something he did on his own, if anyone left anyone it was him leaving us.” Riko’s grin sharpened and he moved his gaze to Kevin’s, “And it wasn’t just me he left- my Uncle raised him like a son and Jean has been with us for years. He left all of us behind.”

There was a whining in Kevin's head, like the stage lights were buzzing all around him and it was all he could do not to heave his breaths. Jean. 

“But it’s true that Kevin had to leave. Edgar Allen released him from his contract. After all the publicity Edgar Allen got off of him, after the way he helped carry the team to the championship last year…you all wanted him stuck on the sidelines when he could be more. If your coach was too blind to see what Coach Wymack did, that's on him.” And there was Neil insulting Kengo Moriyama’s brother. Kevin pushed his foot down harder and was frustrated that the wince Neil responded with didn’t spark him into shutting his damned mouth. “Instead you came here to shove his injury in his face and put him down. And I notice it’s just you here. Surely if Kevin wasn’t up to the task of a comeback, someone more important that you would be saying it?”

“I will ask you only once to tone down that animosity,” Riko’s tone was furious, any of that sadistic cheer wiped away by Neil’s callout.

Neil went to spit some kind of retort and Kevin’s hand clapped over his mouth, forcing an awkward laugh. “Sorry about him, he’s a bit overprotective.”

Kathy, who had been watching the verbal volley with growing panic, seemed relieved at Kevin’s interruption. Riko and Neil were both glaring at him but Kevin suspected if he let it go on too much longer something not fit for cameras would have eventually been said or done.

“Shut up,” Kevin hissed in French just before he released Neil’s mouth. He ignored the way Neil’s anger-flushed skin was hot under his palm and tried to tune back into Kathy asking Riko about the district change.

He listened to Riko put down the Southeastern district (mostly all fair points) and Kathy make the comparison between the Raven’s challenging the district to play at their level and Kevin was dragging the Foxes up to his. 

“Of course Kevin’s work with the Foxes has been a great example of why we want Kevin back at home as part of our coaching staff. We’re confident that he’ll come to his senses sooner or later and lend his talent back to the people who helped make him who he is, or well was.”

Kevin heard the order in the words. Come home, we own you, we made you.

“Sounds like a difficult choice Kevin. I have to admit that as much as I love watching the Foxes improve, it breaks my heart to see you away from Edgar Allen and Riko.” Kathy tapped his chin in contemplation as if weighing the options on his behalf.

“You wouldn’t honestly have him go back?” Neil's indignation brought her up short and Kevin began to accept his death was coming imminently. “Kevin wants to play, to be the best on the court and they would take it away from him. The Foxes give Kevin a chance to play, to improve, and the Raven’s think he owes it to them to be a coach instead because they gave up on him.”

“Palmetto is a waste of his talents. If you’d played more than five minutes of Exy, you would know that.” Riko taunted.

“Not as much as Edgar Allen was.” Even Kevin looked askance at Neil for that one. Kevin didn’t want to go back but what was Neil even thinking? "Kevin is starting over from the bottom and making something from nothing. That’s a lot more impressive than being part of a machine that sleepwalks into the championships. Kevin’s relearning how to play and once he’s done he’ll be better than you could ever be.”

And that was… Kevin didn’t even know. Obviously Neil was insane and Riko was going to kill them and Kevin was horrified. But also, he was a little bit flattered? Or maybe grateful? There was that warm feeling he needed to ignore and Kevin’s skin felt hot. He kept himself frozen still to avoid doing something stupid like turning to stare at Neil or hold his damned hand.

Neil… believed in him. Neil would die if the Foxes didn’t make a good showing this year and still he was there by Kevin’s side defending him to someone who would inevitably make them doing that so much harder.

Neil was ranting about how the Foxes gave more opportunity to play, how their pathetically small team was actually some sort of advantage, and arguing against Riko’s retort that the Foxes were a laughingstock that couldn't work as a team.

He wasn’t wrong.

“Be honest, you’re not pushing for Kevin to go back to coaching because you’re worried about him. You’re worried he’s going to show you up and prove that all that time you were paired up it was him carrying you. I think you’re scared.” Kevin was starting to wonder if maybe Neil was laying it on a bit thick. Riko wasn’t scared of him, he was mad he lost a toy he was too rough with.

“I’m not scared of Kevin. I know him.” Riko’s easy dismissal stung even though Kevin should be so far past caring what Riko thought of him.

“You’re going to eat those words,” Neil taunted and Kevin finally allowed him a glance at Neil’s face. The feral smile on his face made Kevin shiver. It was violent and full of teeth that wanted to tear Riko’s throat out, and Kevin thought it might be the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Kathy finally saw the need to wrap things up lest a literal fight break out on stage, “Well it sounds like your matchup in October will be one to watch! Lots to look forward to this season but before we let you go, we need to know Kevin. Orange or Black- what does the future hold for you?”

Kevin winced as he felt the world center back on him and tried not to hear the sky falling as he told her, “I’m a Fox.”

--------------------------------------------------------

Kevin didn’t remember Kathy wrapping up the segment. One moment he was signing his death warrant and the next Neil was dragging him out to the hall with Riko slamming through the door after them. Riko had Neil pinned against the wall in a heartbeat. Neil went deathly still under the hold and Riko turned his fury on Kevin, “I do not approve, Kevin.” He bit out, “He’s clearly been in the wind too long to have any sense and you should just put him down to save my father the trouble.”

“He has potential,” Kevin said, not even sure what to say. He wanted to run but Neil was there and Riko had his hand on him, the heel of his hand resting over his clavicle. Kevin wanted to rip it off.

“Potential,” Riko spat shoving Neil away as if disgusted by the idea of him being worth anything and turned on him. 

“The Master will let you see out this season if only so we can make it clear that you’re a has-been. After finals you will transfer back to Edgar Allen as an Assistant Coach.” Riko spat the orders at him in Japanese and Kevin shrunk at the way the familiar language felt like browns against him.

“Wymack bought out my contract. I have to stay at Palmetto.” Kevin’s objection was weak and he knew it. But saying no to Riko…

“You will come back to Edgar Allen one way or another. The useless pet you found will be dead by May anyway. If you weren't still vaguely popular you would be too. You only have value as long as you’re useful, Two.”

“I have an obligation-” Kevin started but Riko cut him off.

“Push me and see if I don’t find a way to take your punishment out on your precious foxes. I hear Doe nearly died in a car accident, think he’d make it through another?”

Kevin swallowed thickly. There was promise in that statement. He didn't want to believe Riko would really go so far… but then again before Riko had broken his hand he hadn’t thought he could go that far either. Even after all he’d put Jean through he’d never endangered him to the point that he wouldn't recover. Except that was a lie. Kevin forcibly shoved down the memory of him begging Jean to promise him to live despite the torture. Kevin knew there were plenty of ways to destroy a person.

The staring contest was broken by Neil hauling Riko away from him. He hadn’t even realized how close Riko had gotten and he took a deep breath as it felt like the air Riko had sucked from the room rushed back in. “Leave him alone!”

Neil Josten, the boy who’d tried to flee at the sight of Kevin in Arizona, stood toe to toe with Riko and looked ready to throw himself at the youngest Moriyama brother in a truly suicidal act. Kevin took a step forward, not sure what he was even going to do, but absolutely certain he needed to get between Riko and Neil.

He didn’t make it that far.

“Riko, it’s been a while,” Andrew’s voice rang down the hall and Kevin nearly collapsed in relief. He used Riko’s distraction as an opportunity to grab Neil’s hand and pull him away from Riko, backing them both towards Andrew.

“We were just talking about you,” Riko taunted and Kevin’s panic that had ebbed in Andrew's presence ticked up again.

Neil seemed to have keyed in that he’d missed something in the flurry of Japanese and asked Kevin, “What did he say?”

Kevin just shook his head and kept pulling Neil down the hall, “Andrew, let’s go.”

Andrew didn't look away from Riko, his smug face in contrast to the fact that he was clearly unwilling to get within reach of Andrew.

Andrew caught up with them only moments after they turned the corner and when he rejoined them Kevin started losing time. As the adrenaline that had been keeping him going left him in a rush, he felt weak and like his head was full of cotton. He vaguely heard Wymack yelling at Neil who seemed entirely unbothered. He felt Andrew grab his hand and pull him on the bus, yanking him into the seat alongside him. He had the impression of Neil’s concerned face peering over the seatback in front of them and Andrew murmuring something about ‘sleeping it off’. Then nothing.

Chapter Text

Andrew herded him into their room as soon as Wymack dropped them all off a Fox tower.

He rebuffed Dan’s invitation for some sort of team bonding lunch and Kevin was forever grateful for his insistence on separating ‘the monsters’ from the rest of the team. If Kevin had to see Seth’s face right then he would probably scream. He might do it anyway.

At Matt, Seth, and Neil’s room Kevin reflexively reached out to grab Neil’s wrist before he could lose him. 

“Neil?” Matt’s voice sounded from behind them and Kevin just gripped him tighter, relieved that Neil didn’t fight him.

“I’ll be back later, okay?” Neil said over his shoulder, keeping pace with Kevin. Kevin wanted a door that locked between him and the outside world- between all of them and the outside world. Not that a locked door had ever really stopped Riko. Kevin knew better than to think Palmetto security was a match for the Moriyamas.

Useless or not, Kevin still felt better when the five of them made it through the door and Andrew clicked the lock. Not a lot better, but better.

That slight improvement of his mood immediately drained out of him as Andrew stalked towards the window, clearly intent on smoking. Kevin just couldn’t- he held his tongue more often than not but damn it. Andrew was an athlete! Kevin was going to help him be great just as soon as he wasn’t a chemically induced game of emotional roulette. He needed lungs for that!

“Andrew-” he started, rehearsing the same speech about lung cancer mentally but not getting the chance to follow through. 

Andrew fumbled with the window, just a little and Kevin was pretty sure no one else noticed, be he did fumble. Whatever it was that caused the slight slip was apparently frustrating enough for Andrew to lash out. One second Andrew was fiddling with the latch on the window and the next he was slamming his fist into the glass.

Aaron and Nicky both shouted, Nicky instinctively moving towards Andrew, more than likely to intervene before he could do it again. He aborted the movement after only a couple steps when Andrew turned a furious glare on him.

Kevin’s heart was hammering, his feet rooted to the spot, as he stared at the blood on Andrew’s hand where the glass had shattered and cut into him. Had cut into his hand.

A steady hand clamped his own for a quick squeeze and Neil caught his gaze, “Breathe, Kevin.” The words were so firm - an order - that Kevin instinctively gasped in air, realizing with the inhale that his lungs had been burning.

Kevin stuttered in a few more irregular breaths under Neil’s watchful gaze and guiltily clutched the hand Neil hadn’t taken back.

Andrew brushed off his family’s concerned (Nicky) and angry (Aaron) questions and stormed away, slamming the door to his and Kevin’s room behind him.

“Well that’s just fucking great!” Aaron muttered, eyeing the bloody glass.

“We can fix it!” Nicky insisted, grimacing at the glass scattered on the windowsill and across the desk next to it. “We can pay someone to fix it,” he amended.

“Whatever,” Aaron cursed under his breath and he collected his backpack, roughly shoving a few books into it and storming out without further explanation. 

“You two okay?” Nicky asked, voice tinged with a wary edge. His eyes were bouncing between Kevin and the place where he still held a death grip on Neil. Oh! Kevin dropped Neil’s hand and brought his shaky hand to scrub at his face, hopefully he could physically wipe away whatever transparent expression he was making.

Nicky’s brow wrinkled but he turned to Neil, “Sorry, I don’t think Andrew is going to be great company. We can hang out here though. Let’s order pizza for lunch!” The false cheer was grating but Kevin couldn’t help but be grateful for the distraction.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Andrew emerged to collect his share of pizza and immediately retreated again. It felt wrong, Andrew separating himself from him. Kevin eyed the closed door more and more as the afternoon wore on. He wanted to talk to Andrew. As far as he could tell, Andrew hadn’t done anything about his hand and Kevin was itching to find out if his aversion to blood would be stronger than his desire to see Andrew taken care of. There’d been plenty of Exy injuries - broken noses, a split lip here or there - since Kevin had arrived in South Carolina but something about Andrew’s hand bleeding…

Nicky eventually convinced Neil to help him talk Matt into fixing their newly broken window and Kevin nervously took his chance. He grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom and had to talk himself out of knocking on his own bedroom door. He opened the door to the dim space and slid inside, pulling it closed behind him with a quiet click.

“What do you want?” Andrew asked. He’d more successfully opened the window in the bedroom and slid the screen out to smoke. Kevin wrinkled his nose knowing the room would smell like cigarettes now, no matter that Andrew was blowing the smoke outside.

Kevin opened his mouth and found words had abandoned him. Instead he sheepishly held up the kit and took Andrew’s lack of protest as permission to approach.

Andrew watched him, eyes heavy on the crown of his head even as he steadfastly examined the meager medical supplies. Assuming Andrew hadn’t done too much damage they’d be fine. Abby would still probably need to look at it before Andrew put his hand in a glove.

Kevin fiddled needlessly with a roll of gauze for long enough that Andrew lost his patience.

He snapped the fingers of his uninjured hand right in front of Kevin’s face, causing him to flinch back in a full body startle. “You planning to do something with that?”

Kevin swallowed thickly and nodded, “Can I-” he gestured at the hand he’d broken the glass with and tried to hide the shock he felt when Andrew easily extended it to him to examine. He clarified, knowing better than to touch Andrew unexpectedly, “I’ll need to touch you.”

“I’m aware,” Andrew’s droll tone made it clear he thought Kevin was an idiot for being concerned. He’d witnessed more than a few stunning examples of Andrew’s aversion to touch. Sue him for wanting to be careful, he guessed.

Kevin took in the offered appendage. Andrew had clearly done nothing to staunch the bleeding as rivulets of drying red traced down towards his elbow. It looked like the blood coming from the cuts had started to go thick and sticky, slowing the flow and giving Kevin a clearer picture of what they were dealing with.

It didn’t look great but Kevin still nearly sighed with relief when Andrew flexed his fingers and the delicate bones and tendons seemed to move normally under the broken skin.

Kevin used a few of the wipes in the kit to clean away the dried blood and leave slightly damp streaks of newly cleaned skin behind. Andrew ‘s arm flexed under his fingers and Kevin tried very hard not to think about how intimate the act was. He was deep inside Andrew’s personal bubble, touching him. He kept his eyes fixed on the task at hand but he could feel Andrew's gaze on him like a heavy weight.

With the proof of the spilled blood mostly cleared away Kevin prodded the sluggishly bleeding cuts, making sure that Andrew hadn't managed to bring any of that shattered glass back with his broken skin.

He didn’t even wince.

Another pass of antiseptic this time and then Kevin carefully wrapped Andrew's hand like a boxer- over the knuckles, looping between fingers, back over the knuckles and tied off security but not too tight.

“Do I pass inspection?” Andrew snarked. Enough of Andrew’s high had faded to allow his words to take on more of Andrew’s real biting sarcasm than the unhinged delight Kevin hated.

Kevin nodded before looking up to him. He was sure he was going to say something petty back at him but he instead froze like a deer in headlights.

Andrew was very close. Kevin had known that, he’d been the one to get close enough to check his hand, and yet… Andrew was very close and he was watching him and he looked relaxed. Not entirely of course, Andrew always looked a little like he was ready to throw himself into a fight at the drop of a hat but he wasn’t watching Kevin like he would be on the receiving end of any violence or derision.

Kevin’s throat felt dry and he licked his lips as he worked to swallow. The walls of the room were closer than they’d been a moment ago. Andrew was closer than he’d been a moment ago.

Kevin startled a little bit when Andrew’s newly bandaged hand moved, lifting to slide around the back of Kevin’s neck and gripping the nape in the way that nonsensically made Kevin want to wilt into it and run for the hills at the same time.

Andrew’s gaze turned curious and Kevin desperately wished he knew what question he was trying to find the answer for on Kevin’s face. He was absolutely certain his rapid pulse was sending too much blood to his face and he doubted Andrew would find a satisfactory reply when Kevin was so confused.

When Kevin thought he might scream from the sourceless tension Andrew just nodded to himself and hummed as he released Kevin’s neck and leaned further out of the space where they’d been sharing too-warm air.

“How much shit should we expect from Riko over the interview? It’ll be aimed at you, right? He can’t really move against our suicidal runaway when daddy dearest is invested in him.” Kevin blinked furiously, trying to catch up as Andrew’s question rattled around his head. His mind was slowly coming back online and Andrew waited for him to catch up, a tinge of amusement on his mostly-blank face.

Considering Riko’s reaction was enough to drain any of those pleasant feelings from him, it was a sobering ice bath for his thoughts.

“He- it’s probably going to be bad.” He agreed, considering what would be a realistic escalation of tactics after months of harassing the team just for housing him. “No one should go anywhere alone. It’s- he could hurt someone, or have someone be hurt.”

Andrew didn’t seem surprised. “He’ll come for the team?”

“He’ll come for whoever he can get to. I- I don’t want anyone hurt because of me.” Memories of Jean- broken, bleeding, bruised- haunted him. So few of Jean’s ‘punishments’ had been for things Jean had done. He’d simply been Riko’s favorite target when he couldn’t hurt the people he wanted to, principally Kevin whose face needed to stay media ready.

“Neil should be fine, I don’t think Riko will risk drawing that kind of attention from his father. He’d rather make sure we can’t prove our worth this year and either get him killed or see if he could add him to the Raven’s roster for fun.”

Andrew nodded, seeming to consider Kevin’s words, “Daddy dearest isn’t looking out for you though.”

Kevin winced. No, no one was looking out for him. Well- “He’s not. But you are.” He hadn’t meant to make that statement sound nearly as reverent as it came out.

Andrew either didn’t notice Kevin’s seeming astonishment at Andrew’s continued protection or didn’t care that his charge was being embarrassingly grateful for his protection. He just agreed, “I am.”

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A night out at Eden’s was nearly enough to bring them all back to some sort of equilibrium. Andrew spent more time than usual watching Nicky and Aaron on the dancefloor, making sure no one disappeared on him despite the fact that they all knew the Eden’s Twilight staff would look out for their former employees.

Neil was extra jittery and prone to fidgeting, he ended up offering to fetch the rounds of drinks to give himself an opportunity to move, and Kevin watched the process of him going from mostly-content to slowly becoming more anxious to needing to get up before he climbed out of his own skin repeat again and again.

Kevin couldn't blame either of them. He watched every face as people came in, remaining watchful even as he quickly slid from sobriety to the pleasant floating of drunkenness. Even his inebriated mind knew something was wrong.

He couldn't really embrace the carefree weightlessness of the alcohol until they were back at the house. Andrew collapsed in the oversized armchair rather than going up to his room and it took Kevin far too long to realize he was guarding the door. Kevin let the sound of the two other bodies in the living room lull him to sleep. 

That peace was shattered by the sound of Aaron and Nicky pounding down the stairs just after he’d finally slipped into sleep.

“What’s wrong?” Andrew asked, immediately unfolding from where he’d curled up on the chair.

“Seth and Allison got jumped off campus.” Aaron said, shoving his phone into Andrew’s hands.

Kevin exchanged a heavy look with him even as he listened to whoever was on the other end, presumably Coach.

“Yeah?” Andrew said into the phone and Kevin could just hear the tinny sound of a voice speaking loudly over the speaker, too indistinct to hear the words. “Yeah we’re not going back to campus tonight.”

The other voice, definitely Wymack, wasn’t thrilled with that answer if the increased volume was any indication. “What, do you want me to drive drunk? We’ll come back in the morning, yeah?”

Wymack’s displeasure didn't deter Andrew at all and he eventually just ended the call and tossed the phone back to Aaron.

“What happened?” Neil asked, clearly looking for more details about what had happened, not who. Everyone in the room knew it had to have been Riko.

“Some asshole Raven fans were harassing them at a bar and then followed them when they left. The bouncer noticed and called the cops. Gordon’s arm is fucked up and Allison got knocked around.”

Kevin winced. He wasn’t exactly broken up that Seth had gotten in a fight but if he was really injured… Well that was one way to make it harder for the Foxes to perform well enough to keep Neil alive. And Allison… Kevin wasn't a huge fan but he felt that guilty pit of self-loathing burn in him. This was his fault. If he wasn’t such a-

“Stop it,” Andrew's order cut through his thoughts and Kevin blinked at him, confused. He wasn't doing anything.

“This was Riko, not you.” Andrew said, not emotion in the pronouncement.

“They got hurt because of me!” Kevin protested.

“I don’t remember you beating Gordon up.” Neil cut in, “You’re definitely too drunk to win a fight right now…” the teasing joke fell flat and Aaron scoffed. 

“What time tomorrow?” Aaron asked Andrew, dismissing Kevin and Neil. Nicky managed an uninspiring ‘supportive’ smile.

Andrew peeked over the back of the chair to see the clock softly ticking away on the wall, it was after two. “Eight.”

Aaron left without a backwards glance, Nicky trailing after him.

Kevin’s mind, still blurry with alcohol, was trying and failing to game out scenarios, losing threads as soon as he pulled them.

“Go back to sleep,” Andrew ordered and Kevin rolled his eyes. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep unless he passed out and it seemed like his adrenaline had chewed though enough of the exhaustion to make that impossible.

“Coffee?” Neil suggested, interrupting the staring contest between the two of them. They both turned to regard him and Neil shrugged, “I’m definitely not falling asleep so…”

“Coffee,” Andrew agreed, sighing as he went to make some.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Seth would be out for at least six weeks and was furious about it. He also made it very clear he blamed Kevin and Neil for his situation. For probably the first time Kevin just let the insults and shouting wash over him, he deserved it. Seth sat with his arm in a padded sling, bruised from head to toe, alongside Allison who was sporting a very concerning black eye and bruises shaped like fingers splayed around her throat and wrists.

The viciously cold expression she wore didn't seem to be aimed at him in particular but it made Kevin wary. Wymack had read them in on the rest of the details when they all gathered for a meeting at the court the afternoon following the attack and from the sounds of things Allison might have managed to take care of their attacker on her own if given enough time. By the time the cops arrived she’d pepper sprayed one in the face and had kicked another in the crotch so hard she was certain something had popped. Kevin had only barely resisted the reflex to cover his own balls. 

“Seth is out of commission until the first week of November at the earliest so we’re going to need to adapt.” Wymack was explaining a rotation of subs to keep Kevin and Neil from keeling over trying to play a full game with no ramp up or conditioning to support it.

Kevin eyed Dan and tried not to slide into despair. She was a good dealer, not great but good enough. She wouldn’t be able to fill Seth’s spot but it was better than nothing he supposed. He and Neil would just need to work harder to get their stamina up. They’d been working on that anyway, it just needed to be more of a priority now.

No one was happy about the change. Half the team seemed to be eyeing him or Neil with contempt and Kevin was too hungover for this shit. 

He didn’t make any move to get up when the rest of the team filtered out, released for the day on account of Seth and Allison’s attack and Wymack needing to smooth things over with the university and ERC now that Seth would be unavailable to play for half the regular season.

Wymack shot the three of them a look on his way out but didn’t kick them out. Kevin would pull himself together and drag Neil onto the court any second now.

“We’ll practice more,” Kevin was mostly informing Neil but Andrew rolled his eyes hard on his other side.

Neil grinned, a little too much teeth, and a little too sharp, and brightly enough to make Kevin’s breath catch. He loved how much Neil loved Exy.

“Junkies, the both of you.” Andrew groused, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling.

“We can go on our own. It’s only a ten-minute run-” Neil offered but cut off at Andrew’s glare. “Or you can come with us and sleep in the stands.”

Kevin sunk a little deeper into the couch and mentally prepared adjustments to their training regimen and tried not to feel some type of way about knowing Neil was excited and Andrew was at least unwilling to let them go alone even if he wouldn’t practice with them. He’d take it, for now.